<SPAN name="2H_4_0006"></SPAN>
<h2> Robin Hood Turns Butcher </h2>
<p>NOW AFTER all these things had happened, and it became known to Robin
Hood how the Sheriff had tried three times to make him captive, he said
to himself, "If I have the chance, I will make our worshipful Sheriff
pay right well for that which he hath done to me. Maybe I may bring him
some time into Sherwood Forest and have him to a right merry feast with
us." For when Robin Hood caught a baron or a squire, or a fat abbot or
bishop, he brought them to the greenwood tree and feasted them before he
lightened their purses.</p>
<p>But in the meantime Robin Hood and his band lived quietly in Sherwood
Forest, without showing their faces abroad, for Robin knew that it would
not be wise for him to be seen in the neighborhood of Nottingham, those
in authority being very wroth with him. But though they did not go
abroad, they lived a merry life within the woodlands, spending the days
in shooting at garlands hung upon a willow wand at the end of the glade,
the leafy aisles ringing with merry jests and laughter: for whoever
missed the garland was given a sound buffet, which, if delivered by
Little John, never failed to topple over the unfortunate yeoman. Then
they had bouts of wrestling and of cudgel play, so that every day they
gained in skill and strength.</p>
<p>Thus they dwelled for nearly a year, and in that time Robin Hood often
turned over in his mind many means of making an even score with the
Sheriff. At last he began to fret at his confinement; so one day he took
up his stout cudgel and set forth to seek adventure, strolling blithely
along until he came to the edge of Sherwood. There, as he rambled along
the sunlit road, he met a lusty young butcher driving a fine mare and
riding in a stout new cart, all hung about with meat. Merrily whistled
the Butcher as he jogged along, for he was going to the market, and the
day was fresh and sweet, making his heart blithe within him.</p>
<p>"Good morrow to thee, jolly fellow," quoth Robin, "thou seemest happy
this merry morn."</p>
<p>"Ay, that am I," quoth the jolly Butcher, "and why should I not be so?
Am I not hale in wind and limb? Have I not the bonniest lass in all
Nottinghamshire? And lastly, am I not to be married to her on Thursday
next in sweet Locksley Town?"</p>
<p>"Ha," said Robin, "comest thou from Locksley Town? Well do I know that
fair place for miles about, and well do I know each hedgerow and gentle
pebbly stream, and even all the bright little fishes therein, for
there I was born and bred. Now, where goest thou with thy meat, my fair
friend?"</p>
<p>"I go to the market at Nottingham Town to sell my beef and my mutton,"
answered the Butcher. "But who art thou that comest from Locksley Town?"</p>
<p>"A yeoman am I, and men do call me Robin Hood."</p>
<p>"Now, by Our Lady's grace," cried the Butcher, "well do I know thy name,
and many a time have I heard thy deeds both sung and spoken of. But
Heaven forbid that thou shouldst take aught of me! An honest man am I,
and have wronged neither man nor maid; so trouble me not, good master,
as I have never troubled thee."</p>
<p>"Nay, Heaven forbid, indeed," quoth Robin, "that I should take from such
as thee, jolly fellow! Not so much as one farthing would I take
from thee, for I love a fair Saxon face like thine right well—more
especially when it cometh from Locksley Town, and most especially when
the man that owneth it is to marry a bonny lass on Thursday next. But
come, tell me for what price thou wilt sell me all of thy meat and thy
horse and cart."</p>
<p>"At four marks do I value meat, cart, and mare," quoth the Butcher, "but
if I do not sell all my meat I will not have four marks in value."</p>
<p>Then Robin Hood plucked the purse from his girdle, and quoth he, "Here
in this purse are six marks. Now, I would fain be a butcher for the day
and sell my meat in Nottingham Town. Wilt thou close a bargain with me
and take six marks for thine outfit?"</p>
<p>"Now may the blessings of all the saints fall on thine honest head!"
cried the Butcher right joyfully, as he leaped down from his cart and
took the purse that Robin held out to him.</p>
<p>"Nay," quoth Robin, laughing loudly, "many do like me and wish me well,
but few call me honest. Now get thee gone back to thy lass, and give her
a sweet kiss from me." So saying, he donned the Butcher's apron, and,
climbing into the cart, he took the reins in his hand and drove off
through the forest to Nottingham Town.</p>
<p>When he came to Nottingham, he entered that part of the market where
butchers stood, and took up his inn(2) in the best place he could find.
Next, he opened his stall and spread his meat upon the bench, then,
taking his cleaver and steel and clattering them together, he trolled
aloud in merry tones:</p>
<p>(2) Stand for selling.<br/>
<br/>
"Now come, ye lasses, and eke ye dames,<br/>
And buy your meat from me;<br/>
For three pennyworths of meat I sell<br/>
For the charge of one penny.<br/>
<br/>
"Lamb have I that hath fed upon nought<br/>
But the dainty dames pied,<br/>
And the violet sweet, and the daffodil<br/>
That grow fair streams beside.<br/>
<br/>
"And beef have I from the heathery words,<br/>
And mutton from dales all green,<br/>
And veal as white as a maiden's brow,<br/>
With its mother's milk, I ween.<br/>
<br/>
"Then come, ye lasses, and eke ye dames,<br/>
Come, buy your meat from me,<br/>
For three pennyworths of meat I sell<br/>
For the charge of one penny."<br/></p>
<p>Thus he sang blithely, while all who stood near listened amazedly. Then,
when he had finished, he clattered the steel and cleaver still more
loudly, shouting lustily, "Now, who'll buy? Who'll buy? Four fixed
prices have I. Three pennyworths of meat I sell to a fat friar or priest
for sixpence, for I want not their custom; stout aldermen I charge
threepence, for it doth not matter to me whether they buy or not; to
buxom dames I sell three pennyworths of meat for one penny for I like
their custom well; but to the bonny lass that hath a liking for a good
tight butcher I charge nought but one fair kiss, for I like her custom
the best of all."</p>
<p>Then all began to stare and wonder and crowd around, laughing, for never
was such selling heard of in all Nottingham Town; but when they came to
buy they found it as he had said, for he gave goodwife or dame as much
meat for one penny as they could buy elsewhere for three, and when a
widow or a poor woman came to him, he gave her flesh for nothing; but
when a merry lass came and gave him a kiss, he charged not one penny for
his meat; and many such came to his stall, for his eyes were as blue as
the skies of June, and he laughed merrily, giving to each full measure.
Thus he sold his meat so fast that no butcher that stood near him could
sell anything.</p>
<p>Then they began to talk among themselves, and some said, "This must be
some thief who has stolen cart, horse, and meat;" but others said, "Nay,
when did ye ever see a thief who parted with his goods so freely and
merrily? This must be some prodigal who hath sold his father's land, and
would fain live merrily while the money lasts." And these latter being
the greater number, the others came round, one by one to their way of
thinking.</p>
<p>Then some of the butchers came to him to make his acquaintance. "Come,
brother," quoth one who was the head of them all, "we be all of one
trade, so wilt thou go dine with us? For this day the Sheriff hath asked
all the Butcher Guild to feast with him at the Guild Hall. There will
be stout fare and much to drink, and that thou likest, or I much mistake
thee."</p>
<p>"Now, beshrew his heart," quoth jolly Robin, "that would deny a butcher.
And, moreover, I will go dine with you all, my sweet lads, and that as
fast as I can hie." Whereupon, having sold all his meat, he closed his
stall and went with them to the great Guild Hall.</p>
<p>There the Sheriff had already come in state, and with him many butchers.
When Robin and those that were with him came in, all laughing at some
merry jest he had been telling them, those that were near the Sheriff
whispered to him, "Yon is a right mad blade, for he hath sold more meat
for one penny this day than we could sell for three, and to whatsoever
merry lass gave him a kiss he gave meat for nought." And others said,
"He is some prodigal that hath sold his land for silver and gold, and
meaneth to spend all right merrily."</p>
<p>Then the Sheriff called Robin to him, not knowing him in his butcher's
dress, and made him sit close to him on his right hand; for he loved a
rich young prodigal—especially when he thought that he might lighten
that prodigal's pockets into his own most worshipful purse. So he made
much of Robin, and laughed and talked with him more than with any of the
others.</p>
<p>At last the dinner was ready to be served and the Sheriff bade Robin say
grace, so Robin stood up and said, "Now Heaven bless us all and eke good
meat and good sack within this house, and may all butchers be and remain
as honest men as I am."</p>
<p>At this all laughed, the Sheriff loudest of all, for he said to himself,
"Surely this is indeed some prodigal, and perchance I may empty his
purse of some of the money that the fool throweth about so freely." Then
he spake aloud to Robin, saying, "Thou art a jolly young blade, and I
love thee mightily;" and he smote Robin upon the shoulder.</p>
<p>Then Robin laughed loudly too. "Yea," quoth he, "I know thou dost love
a jolly blade, for didst thou not have jolly Robin Hood at thy shooting
match and didst thou not gladly give him a bright golden arrow for his
own?"</p>
<p>At this the Sheriff looked grave and all the guild of butchers too, so
that none laughed but Robin, only some winked slyly at each other.</p>
<p>"Come, fill us some sack!" cried Robin. "Let us e'er be merry while we
may, for man is but dust, and he hath but a span to live here till the
worm getteth him, as our good gossip Swanthold sayeth; so let life be
merry while it lasts, say I. Nay, never look down i' the mouth, Sir
Sheriff. Who knowest but that thou mayest catch Robin Hood yet, if thou
drinkest less good sack and Malmsey, and bringest down the fat about thy
paunch and the dust from out thy brain. Be merry, man."</p>
<p>Then the Sheriff laughed again, but not as though he liked the jest,
while the butchers said, one to another, "Before Heaven, never have
we seen such a mad rollicking blade. Mayhap, though, he will make the
Sheriff mad."</p>
<p>"How now, brothers," cried Robin, "be merry! nay, never count over your
farthings, for by this and by that I will pay this shot myself, e'en
though it cost two hundred pounds. So let no man draw up his lip, nor
thrust his forefinger into his purse, for I swear that neither butcher
nor Sheriff shall pay one penny for this feast."</p>
<p>"Now thou art a right merry soul," quoth the Sheriff, "and I wot thou
must have many a head of horned beasts and many an acre of land, that
thou dost spend thy money so freely."</p>
<p>"Ay, that have I," quoth Robin, laughing loudly again, "five hundred and
more horned beasts have I and my brothers, and none of them have we been
able to sell, else I might not have turned butcher. As for my land, I
have never asked my steward how many acres I have."</p>
<p>At this the Sheriff's eyes twinkled, and he chuckled to himself. "Nay,
good youth," quoth he, "if thou canst not sell thy cattle, it may be I
will find a man that will lift them from thy hands; perhaps that man may
be myself, for I love a merry youth and would help such a one along the
path of life. Now how much dost thou want for thy horned cattle?"</p>
<p>"Well," quoth Robin, "they are worth at least five hundred pounds."</p>
<p>"Nay," answered the Sheriff slowly, and as if he were thinking within
himself, "well do I love thee, and fain would I help thee along, but
five hundred pounds in money is a good round sum; besides I have it not
by me. Yet I will give thee three hundred pounds for them all, and that
in good hard silver and gold."</p>
<p>"Now thou old miser!" quoth Robin, "well thou knowest that so many
horned cattle are worth seven hundred pounds and more, and even that is
but small for them, and yet thou, with thy gray hairs and one foot in
the grave, wouldst trade upon the folly of a wild youth."</p>
<p>At this the Sheriff looked grimly at Robin. "Nay," quoth Robin, "look
not on me as though thou hadst sour beer in thy mouth, man. I will take
thine offer, for I and my brothers do need the money. We lead a merry
life, and no one leads a merry life for a farthing, so I will close
the bargain with thee. But mind that thou bringest a good three hundred
pounds with thee, for I trust not one that driveth so shrewd a bargain."</p>
<p>"I will bring the money," said the Sheriff. "But what is thy name, good
youth?"</p>
<p>"Men call me Robert o' Locksley," quoth bold Robin.</p>
<p>"Then, good Robert o' Locksley," quoth the Sheriff, "I will come this
day to see thy horned beasts. But first my clerk shall draw up a paper
in which thou shalt be bound to the sale, for thou gettest not my money
without I get thy beasts in return."</p>
<p>Then Robin Hood laughed again. "So be it," he said, smiting his palm
upon the Sheriff's hand. "Truly my brothers will be thankful to thee for
thy money."</p>
<p>Thus the bargain was closed, but many of the butchers talked among
themselves of the Sheriff, saying that it was but a scurvy trick to
beguile a poor spendthrift youth in this way.</p>
<p>The afternoon had come when the Sheriff mounted his horse and joined
Robin Hood, who stood outside the gateway of the paved court waiting for
him, for he had sold his horse and cart to a trader for two marks. Then
they set forth upon their way, the Sheriff riding upon his horse and
Robin running beside him. Thus they left Nottingham Town and traveled
forward along the dusty highway, laughing and jesting together as though
they had been old friends. But all the time the Sheriff said within
himself, "Thy jest to me of Robin Hood shall cost thee dear, good
fellow, even four hundred pounds, thou fool." For he thought he would
make at least that much by his bargain.</p>
<p>So they journeyed onward till they came within the verge of Sherwood
Forest, when presently the Sheriff looked up and down and to the right
and to the left of him, and then grew quiet and ceased his laughter.
"Now," quoth he, "may Heaven and its saints preserve us this day from a
rogue men call Robin Hood."</p>
<p>Then Robin laughed aloud. "Nay," said he, "thou mayst set thy mind at
rest, for well do I know Robin Hood and well do I know that thou art in
no more danger from him this day than thou art from me."</p>
<p>At this the Sheriff looked askance at Robin, saying to himself, "I like
not that thou seemest so well acquainted with this bold outlaw, and I
wish that I were well out of Sherwood Forest."</p>
<p>But still they traveled deeper into the forest shades, and the deeper
they went, the more quiet grew the Sheriff. At last they came to where
the road took a sudden bend, and before them a herd of dun deer went
tripping across the path. Then Robin Hood came close to the Sheriff and
pointing his finger, he said, "These are my horned beasts, good Master
Sheriff. How dost thou like them? Are they not fat and fair to see?"</p>
<p>At this the Sheriff drew rein quickly. "Now fellow," quoth he, "I would
I were well out of this forest, for I like not thy company. Go thou
thine own path, good friend, and let me but go mine."</p>
<p>But Robin only laughed and caught the Sheriff's bridle rein. "Nay,"
cried he, "stay awhile, for I would thou shouldst see my brothers, who
own these fair horned beasts with me." So saying, he clapped his bugle
to his mouth and winded three merry notes, and presently up the path
came leaping fivescore good stout yeomen with Little John at their head.</p>
<p>"What wouldst thou have, good master?" quoth Little John.</p>
<p>"Why," answered Robin, "dost thou not see that I have brought goodly
company to feast with us today? Fye, for shame! Do you not see our good
and worshipful master, the Sheriff of Nottingham? Take thou his bridle,
Little John, for he has honored us today by coming to feast with us."</p>
<p>Then all doffed their hats humbly, without smiling or seeming to be in
jest, while Little John took the bridle rein and led the palfrey still
deeper into the forest, all marching in order, with Robin Hood walking
beside the Sheriff, hat in hand.</p>
<p>All this time the Sheriff said never a word but only looked about him
like one suddenly awakened from sleep; but when he found himself going
within the very depths of Sherwood his heart sank within him, for he
thought, "Surely my three hundred pounds will be taken from me, even
if they take not my life itself, for I have plotted against their lives
more than once." But all seemed humble and meek and not a word was said
of danger, either to life or money.</p>
<p>So at last they came to that part of Sherwood Forest where a noble oak
spread its branches wide, and beneath it was a seat all made of moss, on
which Robin sat down, placing the Sheriff at his right hand. "Now busk
ye, my merry men all," quoth he, "and bring forth the best we have,
both of meat and wine, for his worship the Sheriff hath feasted me in
Nottingham Guild Hall today, and I would not have him go back empty."</p>
<p>All this time nothing had been said of the Sheriff's money, so presently
he began to pluck up heart. "For," said he to himself, "maybe Robin Hood
hath forgotten all about it."</p>
<p>Then, while beyond in the forest bright fires crackled and savory smells
of sweetly roasting venison and fat capons filled the glade, and brown
pasties warmed beside the blaze, did Robin Hood entertain the Sheriff
right royally. First, several couples stood forth at quarterstaff, and
so shrewd were they at the game, and so quickly did they give stroke
and parry, that the Sheriff, who loved to watch all lusty sports of
the kind, clapped his hands, forgetting where he was, and crying aloud,
"Well struck! Well struck, thou fellow with the black beard!" little
knowing that the man he called upon was the Tinker that tried to serve
his warrant upon Robin Hood.</p>
<p>Then several yeomen came forward and spread cloths upon the green grass,
and placed a royal feast; while others still broached barrels of sack
and Malmsey and good stout ale, and set them in jars upon the cloth,
with drinking horns about them. Then all sat down and feasted and drank
merrily together until the sun was low and the half-moon glimmered with
a pale light betwixt the leaves of the trees overhead.</p>
<p>Then the Sheriff arose and said, "I thank you all, good yeomen, for the
merry entertainment ye have given me this day. Right courteously have ye
used me, showing therein that ye have much respect for our glorious King
and his deputy in brave Nottinghamshire. But the shadows grow long,
and I must away before darkness comes, lest I lose myself within the
forest."</p>
<p>Then Robin Hood and all his merry men arose also, and Robin said to the
Sheriff, "If thou must go, worshipful sir, go thou must; but thou hast
forgotten one thing."</p>
<p>"Nay, I forgot nought," said the Sheriff; yet all the same his heart
sank within him.</p>
<p>"But I say thou hast forgot something," quoth Robin. "We keep a merry
inn here in the greenwood, but whoever becometh our guest must pay his
reckoning."</p>
<p>Then the Sheriff laughed, but the laugh was hollow. "Well, jolly boys,"
quoth he, "we have had a merry time together today, and even if ye had
not asked me, I would have given you a score of pounds for the sweet
entertainment I have had."</p>
<p>"Nay," quoth Robin seriously, "it would ill beseem us to treat Your
Worship so meanly. By my faith, Sir Sheriff, I would be ashamed to show
my face if I did not reckon the King's deputy at three hundred pounds.
Is it not so, my merry men all?"</p>
<p>Then "Ay!" cried all, in a loud voice.</p>
<p>"Three hundred devils!" roared the Sheriff. "Think ye that your beggarly
feast was worth three pounds, let alone three hundred?"</p>
<p>"Nay," quoth Robin gravely. "Speak not so roundly, Your Worship. I
do love thee for the sweet feast thou hast given me this day in merry
Nottingham Town; but there be those here who love thee not so much. If
thou wilt look down the cloth thou wilt see Will Stutely, in whose eyes
thou hast no great favor; then two other stout fellows are there here
that thou knowest not, that were wounded in a brawl nigh Nottingham
Town, some time ago—thou wottest when; one of them was sore hurt in one
arm, yet he hath got the use of it again. Good Sheriff, be advised by
me; pay thy score without more ado, or maybe it may fare ill with thee."</p>
<p>As he spoke the Sheriff's ruddy cheeks grew pale, and he said nothing
more but looked upon the ground and gnawed his nether lip. Then slowly
he drew forth his fat purse and threw it upon the cloth in front of him.</p>
<p>"Now take the purse, Little John," quoth Robin Hood, "and see that the
reckoning be right. We would not doubt our Sheriff, but he might not
like it if he should find he had not paid his full score."</p>
<p>Then Little John counted the money and found that the bag held three
hundred pounds in silver and gold. But to the Sheriff it seemed as if
every clink of the bright money was a drop of blood from his veins. And
when he saw it all counted out in a heap of silver and gold, filling a
wooden platter, he turned away and silently mounted his horse.</p>
<p>"Never have we had so worshipful a guest before!" quoth Robin, "and, as
the day waxeth late, I will send one of my young men to guide thee out
of the forest depths."</p>
<p>"Nay, Heaven forbid!" cried the Sheriff hastily. "I can find mine own
way, good man, without aid."</p>
<p>"Then I will put thee on the right track mine own self," quoth Robin,
and, taking the Sheriff's horse by the bridle rein, he led him into the
main forest path. Then, before he let him go, he said, "Now, fare thee
well, good Sheriff, and when next thou thinkest to despoil some poor
prodigal, remember thy feast in Sherwood Forest. 'Ne'er buy a horse,
good friend, without first looking into its mouth,' as our good gaffer
Swanthold says. And so, once more, fare thee well." Then he clapped
his hand to the horse's back, and off went nag and Sheriff through the
forest glades.</p>
<p>Then bitterly the Sheriff rued the day that first he meddled with Robin
Hood, for all men laughed at him and many ballads were sung by folk
throughout the country, of how the Sheriff went to shear and came home
shorn to the very quick. For thus men sometimes overreach themselves
through greed and guile.</p>
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