<h3 class="chapterhead"><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XL" id="CHAPTER_XL"></SPAN>CHAPTER XL.</h3>
<p class="titlepage">COUNT CAGLIOSTRO, ALIAS JOSEPH BALSAMO, KNOWN ALSO AS “CURSED JOE.”</p>
<p>One of the most striking, amusing, and instructive pages in the history
of humbug is the life of Count Alessandro di Cagliostro, whose real name
was Joseph or Giuseppe Balsamo. He was born at Palermo, in 1743, and
very early began to manifest his brilliant talents for roguery.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_330" id="Page_330"></SPAN></span>He ran away from his first boarding-school, at the age of eleven or
twelve, getting up a masquerade of goblins, by the aid of some scampish
schoolfellows, which frightened the monkish watchmen of the gates away
from their posts, nearly dead with terror. He had gained little at this
school, except the pleasant surname of Beppo Maldetto (or cursed Joe.)
At the age of thirteen he was a second time expelled from the convent of
Cartegirone, belonging to the order of Benfratelli, the good fathers
having in vain endeavored to train him up in the way he should go.</p>
<p>While in this convent, the boy was in charge of the apothecary, and
probably picked up more or less of the smattering of chemistry and
physics which he afterwards used. His final offence was a ridiculous and
characteristic one. He was a greedy and thievish fellow, and was by way
of penalty set to read aloud about the ancient martyrs, those dry though
pious old gentlemen, while the monks ate dinner. Thus put to what he
liked least, and deprived of what he liked best, he impudently
extemporized, instead of the stories of holy agonies, all the indecorous
scandal he could think of about the more notorious disreputable women of
Palermo, putting their names instead of those of the martyrs.</p>
<p>After this, Master Joe proceeded to distinguish himself by forging
opera-tickets, and even documents of various kinds, indiscriminate
pilfering and swindling, interpreting visions, conjuring, and finally,
it is declared, a touch of genuine assassination.</p>
<p>Pretty soon he made a foolish, greedy goldsmith, one Marano, believe
that there was a treasure hidden in the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_331" id="Page_331"></SPAN></span> sand on the sea-shore near
Palermo, and induced the silly man to go one night to dig it up. Having
reached the spot, the dupe was made to strip himself to his shirt and
drawers, a magic circle was drawn round him with all sorts of raw-head
and bloody-bones ceremonies, and Beppo, exhorting him not to leave the
ring, lest the spirits should kill him, stepped out of sight to make the
incantations to raise them. Almost instantly, six devils, horned,
hoofed, tailed, and clawed, breathing fire and smoke, leaped from among
the rocks and beat the wretched goldsmith senseless, and almost to
death. They were of course Cursed Joe and some confederates; and taking
Marano’s money and valuables, they left him. He got home in wretched
plight, but had sense enough left to suspect Master Joe, whom he shortly
promised, after the Sicilian manner, to assassinate. So Joe ran away
from Palermo, and went to Messina. Here he said he fell in with a
venerable humbug, named Athlotas, an “Armenian Sage,” who united his
talents with Beppo’s own, in making a peculiar preparation of flax and
hemp and passing it off upon the people of Alexandria, in Egypt, as a
new kind of silk. This feat made not only a sensation but plenty of
money; and the two swindlers now traversed Greece, Turkey, and Arabia,
in various directions, stirring up the Oriental “old fogies” in amazing
style. Harems and palaces, according to Cagliostro’s own apocryphal
story, were thrown open to them everywhere, and while the Scherif of
Mecuca took Balsao under his high protection, one of the Grand Muftis
actually gave him splendid apartments in his own abode. It is only
necessary to reflect upon<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_332" id="Page_332"></SPAN></span> the unbounded reverence felt by all good
Mussulmen for these exalted dignitaries, to comprehend the height of
distinction thus attained by the Palermo thimble-rigger. But, among the
many obscure records that exist in the Italian, French, and German
languages, touching this arch impostor, there is a hint of a night
adventure in the harem of a high and mighty personage, at Mecca, whereby
the latter was put out of doors, with his robes torn and his beard
singed, by his own domestics, and left to wander in the streets, while
Beppo, in disguise, received the salaams and sequins of the
establishment, including the attentions of the fair ones therein caged,
for an entire night. His escape to the seacoast after this adventure was
almost miraculous; but escape he did, and shortly afterward turned up in
Rome, with the title (conferred by himself) of Count Cagliostro, the
reputation of enormous wealth, and genuine and enthusiastic letters of
recommendation from Pinto, Grand Master of the Knights of Malta. Pinto
was an alchymist, and had been fooled to the top of his bent by the
cunning Joseph.</p>
<p>These letters introduced our humbug into the first families of Rome;
who, like some other first families, were first also as fools. He also
married a very beautiful, very shrewd, and very wicked Roman donzella,
Lorenza Feliciani by name; and the worthy couple, combining their
various talents, and regarding the world as their oyster, at once
proceeded to open it in the most scientific style. I cannot follow this
wonderful human chameleon in all his transformations under his various
names of Fischio, Melissa, Fenice, Anna, Pellegrini,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_333" id="Page_333"></SPAN></span> Harat, and
Belmonte, nor state the studies and processes by which he picked up
sufficient knowledge of physic, chemistry, the hidden properties of
numbers, astronomy, astrology, mesmerism, clairvoyance, and the genuine
old-fashioned “black art;” but suffice it to say, that he travelled
through every part of Europe, and set it in a blaze with excitement.</p>
<p>There were always enough of silly coxcombs, young and old, of high
degree, to be allured by the siren smiles of his “Countess;” and dupes
of both sexes everywhere, to swallow his yarns and gape at his
juggleries. In the course of his rambles, he paid a visit to his great
brother humbug, the Count of St. Germain, in Westphalia, or Schleswig,
and it was not long afterward that he began to publish to the world his
grand discoveries in Alchemy, of the Philosopher’s Stone, and the Elixir
of Life, or Waters of Perpetual Youth. These and many similar wonders
were declared to be the result of his investigations under the Arch of
Old Egyptian Masonry, which degree he claimed to have revived. This
notion of Egyptian Masonry, Cagliostro is said to have found in some
manuscripts left by one George Cofton, which fell into our quack’s
hands. This degree was to give perfection to human beings, by means of
moral and physical regeneration. Of these two the former was to be
secured by means of a Pentagon, which removes original sin and renews
pristine innocence. The physical kind of regeneration was to be brought
about by using the “prime matter” or philosopher’s stone, and the
“Acacia,” which two ingredients will give immortal youth. In this new
structure, he assumed the title of<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_334" id="Page_334"></SPAN></span> the “Grand Cophta” and actually
claimed the worship of his followers; declaring that the institution had
been established by Enoch and Elias, and that he had been summoned by
“spiritual” agencies to restore it to its pristine glory. In fact, this
pretension, which influenced thousands upon thousands of believers, was
one of the most daring impostures that ever saw the light; and it is
astounding to think that, so late as 1780, it should, for a long time,
have been entirely successful. The preparatory course of exercises for
admission to the mystic brotherhood has been described as a series of
“purgation, starvation, and desperation,” lasting for forty days! and
ending in “physical regeneration” and an immortality on earth. The
celebrated Lavater, a mild and genial, but feeble man, became one of
Cagliostro’s disciples, and was bamboozled to his heart’s content—in
fact, made to believe that the Count could put the devil into him, or
take him out, as the case might be.</p>
<p>The wondrous “Water of Beauty,” that made old wrinkled faces look young,
smooth, and blooming again, was the special merchandise of the Countess,
and was, of course, in great request among the faded beaux and dowagers
of the day, who were easily persuaded of their own restored loveliness.
The transmutation of baser metals into gold usually terminated in the
<SPAN name="corr99" id="corr99"></SPAN>transmigration of all the gold his victims had into the Count’s own
purse.</p>
<p>In 1776, the Count and Countess came to London. Here, funnily enough,
they fell into the hands of a gambler, a shyster, and a female scamp,
who together tormented them almost to death, because the Count<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_335" id="Page_335"></SPAN></span> would
not pick them out lucky numbers to gamble by. They persecuted him fairly
into jail, and plagued and outswindled him so awfully, that, after a
time, the poor Count sneaked back to the Continent with only fifty
pounds left out of three thousand which he had brought with him.</p>
<p>One incident of Cagliostro’s English experience was the affair of the
“Arsenical Pigs”—a notice of which may be found in the “Public
Advertiser,” of London of September 3, 1786. A Frenchman named Morande,
was at that time editing there a paper in his own language, entitled “Le
Courrier de l’Europe,” and lost no opportunity to denounce the Count as
a humbug. Cagliostro, at length, irritated by these repeated attacks,
published in the “Advertiser” an open challenge, offering to forfeit
five thousand guineas if Morande should not be found dead in his bed on
the morning after partaking of the flesh of a pig, to be selected by
himself from among a drove fattened by the Count—the cooking, etc., all
to be done at Morande’s own house, and under his own eye. The time was
fixed for this singular repast, but when it came round, the French
Editor “backed down” completely, to the great delight of his opponent
and his credulous followers.</p>
<p>Cagliostro and his spouse now resumed their travels upon the Continent,
and, by their usual arts and trades, in a great measure renewed their
fallen fortunes. Among other new dodges, he now assumed so supernatural
a piety that (he said) he could distinguish an unbeliever by the smell!
which, of course, was just the opposite of the “odor of sanctity.” The
Coun<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_336" id="Page_336"></SPAN></span>t’s claim to have lived for hundreds of years was, by some,
thoroughly believed. He ascribed his immortality to his own Elixir, and
his comparatively youthful appearance to his “Water of Beauty,” his
Countess readily assisting him by speaking of her son, a Colonel in the
Dutch service, fifty years old, while she appeared scarcely more than
twenty.</p>
<p>At length, in Rome, he and the Countess fell into the clutches of the
Holy Office; and both having been tried for their manifold offences
against the Church, were found guilty, and, in spite of their contrition
and eager confessions, immured for life; the Count within the walls of
the Castle of Sante Leone, in the Duchy of Urbino, where, after eight
years’ imprisonment, he died in 1795, and the Countess in a suburban
convent, where she died some time after.</p>
<p>The portraits of Cagliostro, of which a number are extant, are pictures
of a strong-built, bull-necked, fat, gross man, with a snub nose, a
vulgar face, a look of sensuality and low hypocritical cunning.</p>
<p>The celebrated story of “The Diamond Necklace,” in which Cagliostro,
Marie Antoinette, the Cardinal de Rohan, and others were mixed in such a
hodge-podge of rascality and folly, must form a narrative by itself.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_337" id="Page_337"></SPAN></span></p>
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