- Lincoln Story Book, The
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Williams, Henry L.
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The Abraham Lincoln Statue at Chicago is accepted as the typical Westerner of the forum, the rostrum, and the tribune, as he stood to be inaugurated under the war-cloud in 1861. But there is another Lincoln as dear to the common people--the Lincoln of happy quotations, the speaker of household words. Instead of the erect, impressive, penetrative platform orator we see a long, gaunt figure, divided between two chairs for comfort, the head bent forward, smiling broadly, the lips curved in laughter, the deep eyes irradiating their caves of wisdom; the story-telling Lincoln, enjoying the enjoyment he gave to others.
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- Chapters
- Preface
- Lincoln Calendar
- Childish Rime
- The Little Hatchet Did It.
- The Little Hatchet Again Turns Up.
- Lincoln's Wedding-Song.
- Risk The Hogs And I Will Risk Myself!
- The Rest Was Vile.
- No Heaping Coals Of Fire On That Head.
- Stumping The Stump-Speaker.
- Making The Wool, Not Feathers, Fly.
- Log-Rolling To Save Lives.
- Lincoln's First Dollar.
- Conviction Through A Thrashing.
- Boating On Ground "A Leetle Damp."
- The Initiator Installed.
- The Horrors For The Third Time!
- The Whistle That Stopped The Boat.
- It Is The Deed, Not The Doer.
- Turn Out Or Be Turned Out.
- The Best Thing To Take.
- Drinking And Swallowing Are Two Things.
- Worsted In A Horse-Trade.
- How Many Short Breaths?
- Lincoln's Height.
- Measures And Men.
- The Prize For Homeliness.
- How Long Legs Should Be.
- Long Meter.
- Hardships Strengthen Muscles.
- He Used To Be "Good On The Chop."
- A Man Who Can Scratch His Shins Without Stooping.
- Struck By The Dead Hand.
- This Clinches It.
- Lincoln's First Love-Story.
- A Put-Up Job--Or Chance?
- Lincoln's Marriage.
- The Burlesque Duel.
- Wanting To Dance The Worst Way.
- The Statute Fixes All That!
- He Did Not Know His Own House.
- The Only One Who Dared "Pull Wool Over Lincoln's Eyes."
- The Long And Short Of It.
- All A Man Wants--Twenty Thousand Dollars!
- I'll Hit The Thing Hard!
- The "Lex Talionis" Christianized.
- The Slave-Dealer.
- The Negro Home, Or Agitation!
- Lincoln's Vow.
- Den I Takes To De Woods!
- The Unpardonable Crime.
- Beyond The Boon.
- Vain As The Pope's Bull Against The Comet.
- A Volunteer Captaincy Worth Two Dollars.
- Getting The Company Column Through "Endwise."
- Regular And Irregular.
- Knowing When To Give In.
- A Fruitful Speech.
- A Captain Challenged By His Men.
- General McClellan's Opinion Of Lincoln As A Lawyer.
- Kentuckians Are Clanny.
- Not To Be Thought Of!
- Skin Wright And Close!
- Hooking Hens Is Low!
- The State Against Mr. Whisky!
- As Clear As Moonshine.
- Nice Clothes May Make A Handsome Man--Even Of You!
- The Abutment Was Dubersome.
- Good Enough For The President.
- Lincoln's First Political Speech.
- A Lightning-Rod To Protect A Guilty Conscience!
- Firing On A Flea For A Squirrel.
- The Cream Of The Joke.
- Parallel Courses.
- Jumping Jim Crow
- Facts Are Stubborn Things.
- The Party Gad.
- Hard To Beat!
- I Reckon I Took More Than My Share.
- Lincoln Was Loaded For Bear.
- A Bounteous President--If Anything Is Left!
- The Art Of Being Paid To Eat.
- A Vice Not To Say "No!"
- The Best Car!
- Self-Made.
- His High Mightiness.
- Lincoln's Opinion At Thirty.
- The Blank Biography.
- The Homliest Man Under Government.
- Better Looking Than Expected.
- Lincoln And Superstition.
- Lincoln's Dream.
- Lincoln's Vision.
- It Is A Poor Sermon That Does Not Hit Somewhere.
- The Religion Of Feeling.
- The Two Prayers.
- We Shall See Our Friends In Heaven!
- More Praying And Less Swearing!
- Gloves Or No Gloves.
- The Use Of Books.
- Lincoln's Book Criticism.
- The Hand-To-Hand Encounter.
- Better Sometimes Right Than All Times Wrong.
- Making The Dagger Stab The Holder.
- The Tail Of The Kite.
- No Day Without A Line.
- Truth And The People.
- Call Me 'Lincoln.'
- The Eloquent Hand.
- Woman.
- To Think And To Do Well.
- Set The Trap Again!
- No Royalty In Our Carriage.
- The Trap To Catch A Douglas.
- Practise Before And Behind "The Bar."
- Connubial Amity.
- The Model Whisky-Barrel.
- Fighting Out Of One Coat Into The Other.
- The Promising Face!
- A House Divided Cannot Stand.
- The Concert On "Dred Scott."
- Playing Cuttlefish.
- A Voice From The Dead.
- If I Must Go Down, Let It Be Linked To Truth.
- Come One, Come All!
- Assisting The Inevitable.
- Self-Sacrifice.
- A Fight Proves Nothing.
- Win The Fight, Or Die A-Trying.
- Pills To Purge Melancholy.
- Down To The Raisins!
- Giant And Giant-Killer.
- Lincoln's "Sentiments" On A Mooted Point.
- Chestnuts Under A Sycamore.
- Still Of Little Note.
- The Tree-Toad And "Timotheus."
- If It Will Do The President Good--
- Grounds For A Financial Estimate.
- I Wanted To See Them Spread!
- The Lincoln Non Sequitur.
- Why So Many Common People.
- Envy Of A Humorist.
- The Stopper On Journalistic "Gas."
- Salt Before Pepper.
- Matching Stories.
- The Only Discredit.
- No Re-Lie-ance Of Them!
- No Vices--Few Virtues.
- The Apples Of His Eye.
- The Whetstone Story.
- The Monarch Of All He Surveyed.
- Men Have Faults Like Horses.
- Lincoln's Puns On Proper Names.
- Not So Easy To Get Into Prison.
- Them Three Fellers Agin!
- Lincoln The Great And Lincoln The Little.
- Go, Thou, And Do Likewise.
- Is The World Going To Follow That Comet Off?
- A Good Listener.
- Carried The Post-Matter In His Hat.
- President Lincoln Dubbed Them The "Wide-Awakes."
- Trust To The Old Blue Sock.
- If All Failed, He Could Go Back To The Old Trade!
- As A Light Porter.
- Whiskered, To Please The Ladies And Get Votes.
- After Votes.
- The Highwayman's Non Sequitur.
- How To Get Men To Vote!
- Beginning At The Head With Clothing.
- Luce A Jug--The Handle All One Side.
- Such A Sucker As Me, President!
- One Happy Day.
- Old Abe Will Look Better When His Hair Is Combed.
- A Curious Combination.
- Abraham Lincoln
- The Snake Simile.
- What's In A Name?
- Paying For Whisky He Did Not Drink.
- The Highest Merit To The Soldier.
- How Sleep The Brave?
- The Stokers As Brave As Any.
- Try And Go As Far As You Can!
- Argument Of "The Stub-Tailed Cow."
- Pegged Or Sewed?
- Soldiering Apart From Politics.
- A Time That Tried The Soul.
- Cabinet Talk.
- On The Blister-Bench.
- Abe, A Thundering Old Glory!
- Perfect Retaliation.
- Let Down The Bars A Leetle.
- The Administration Can Stand It If The Times Can.
- Bottling That Wasp.
- That King Lost His Head.
- Swearing Like A Churchwarden.
- My Speeches Have Originality As Their Merit.
- Righting Wrong Hurts, But Does Good.
- Stanton's Service Was Worth His Sauce.
- A Secret Of The Interior.
- All Staff And No Army.
- No Man Is Indispensable.
- Sleeping On Post Cancels A Commission.
- My Question!
- If Good, He's Got It! If T'Aint Good, He Ain't Got It!
- Lincoln Guessed The First Time.
- A Phantom Chase.
- The Word Flies, But The Writ Remains.
- The War-Lord.
- File It Away!
- What We Have, We Will Give You.
- More "Shinplasters" To Heal The Sore.
- There Is Much In An 'If' And A 'But.'
- Don't Waste The Plug, But Use It!
- The Running Fever.
- One And A Half Times Bigger Than Other Men!
- So Slow, A Hearse Ran Over Him!
- Blood-Shedding Remits Sins.
- His "Leg Cases."
- How The Delinquent Soldier Paid His Debt.
- The Swearing Had To Be Done Then, Or Not At All!
- Displace The Thistles By Flowers.
- You Have One, And I Have One--That Is Right!
- Shooting A Man Does Him No Good!
- Benevolence Is Beautiful.
- It Was The Baby That Did It.
- It Rests Me To Save A Life!
- A Family Man Wants To See His Family.
- A Rule Without Exception.
- Even Rebels Might Be Saved.
- Whipping Around The Stump.
- Life Too Precious To Be Lost.
- Mercy Has Precedence Over The Rigid.
- Taken From Rebellion And Given To Loyalty.
- Suspension Is Not Execution
- The Discontented ... About Four Hundred--
- Not Much Of A Head, But His Only One!
- Gi'e Us A Good Conceit!
- They Went Away Sicker Still.
- Of Twenty Applicants, Nineteen Are Made Enemies.
- Rid Of An Office-Seeker.
- Not Good Offices, But A Good Story.
- Encourage Longing For Work.
- But Aaron Got His Commission!
- Something Lincolnian All Could Take.
- Not Many Such Boys Outside Of Sunday-Schools!
- The Good Boy Gets On.
- How McCulloch Was Constrained To Serve.
- All Mouth And No Hands' Class.
- Hot And Cold The Same Breath.
- Wanted The Jail Earnings.
- A Title No Hindrance.
- A Talker With Nothing To Say.
- Stick To Your Business.
- Marrying A Man Without His Consent.
- A Luxury To See One Who Wants Nothing.
- Accuse Not A Servant----
- A Wolf In A Trap Must Sacrifice His "Tail" To Be Free.
- Somewhat Of A Newsman.
- A Little More Light And A Little Less Noise.
- My Part Of The Ship Is Anchored.
- Angels Swearing Make No Difference.
- Washington's Difficult Task.
- Steel And Steal.
- That's What's The Matter.
- The Ship Of State Simile.
- A Pill For The Public Printer.
- Let The Grass Grow Where It May!
- The Peace-At-Any-Price Party.
- Things Were Topsy-Turvy Aloft, Too.
- Hitching To The Moon.
- A Red Flag To Him.
- Fly Away, Jack!
- His Pen Wanted To Keep Their Hogs Safe.
- Hurrah For You!
- Put Your Feet Right And Stand Firm!
- Get Their Graves Ready!
- Mr. Lincoln's Opinion Of General McClellan.
- A "Stationary" Engine.
- Shoveling Fleas.
- The Georgia Colonel's Costume.
- Coarse Feed First!
- Ain't I Glad To Git Out O' De Wilderness!
- With Two Guns, Hold Off An Army.
- Breaking Up The Little Game.
- The Bottom Will Fall Out.
- Master Of Them Both.
- The Skeered Virginian.
- He Who Fights And Runs Away--
- No Sunday Fighting.
- Let A Good Man Alone!
- The "Blondin" Simile.
- The Pioneer's Land-Title.
- Cheers Not Military--But I Like Them!
- Numbering The Hairs Of His--Tail!
- An Unconventional Order.
- It Occurs To Me That I Am Commander!
- Compliments Is All They Do Pay!
- Bail The Potomac With A Spoon.
- We Shall Beat Them, My Son!
- Little For So Big A Business.
- Not "Shoulder-Straps," But Hardtack.
- Maryland A Good State To Move From!
- Don't Swap Horses Crossing A Stream.
- No Placing Thorns In The Side Of My Worst Enemy!
- The Lincoln Plan Of Campaign.
- The Commander Should Obey Orders.
- The Idlers Equaled The Effectives.
- Rest!
- I Can Bear Censure, But Not Insult!
- A Battle Of Roses.
- Help Me Let Go!
- Splitting The Difference.
- In The Inca's Position.
- Blind Fortune.
- Little David And The Stone For Goliath.
- Lincoln's Cheese-Box On A Raft.
- No "Dutch Courage."
- If I Had As Much Money And Was As Badly Skeered----
- It Pleases Her, And It Don't Hurt Me.
- Let Him Squeal If He Works.
- Brigadiers Cheap--Chargers Costly.
- To Cure Singing In The Head.
- Bowing To The Boy Of Battles.
- When Washington Was All One Tavern.
- Break The Critter Where Slim!
- How Get Him Out?
- A Pleasure To Preside, At Last!
- On The Lord's Side.
- To Canaan!
- Going To Canaan!
- The Fox Appointed Paymaster.
- Risking The Dictatorship.
- A Stage In The Ceaseless March Onward To Victory.
- Working For A Living Makes One Practical.
- Hold On And Chaw!
- The Great National Job.
- For Flaying A Man Alive.
- One On 'em Not Dead Yet!
- The South Like An Ash-Cake.
- I Count For Something!
- Passes No Good For Richmond.
- The Mayor Is The Better Horse.
- The Real Thing Superior To The Sham Battle.
- The Tool Turned On The Handle.
- Sooner The Fowl By Hatching The Egg Than Smashing It.
- Too Busy To Go Into Another Business.
- The Scale Of Rebels.
- One War At A Time.
- Agin' The Government.
- Plowing Around A Log.
- Not The Right "Clay" To Cement A Union.
- The Man Down South.
- The Dismembered "Yaller" Dog.
- The Meteorological Omen.
- Did She Take The Wink To Herself?
- Going Down With Colors Flying.
- There Must Be The Bell-Mule.
- Root, Hog, Or Die!
- The Grant Brand Of Whisky.
- A General, At Last!
- A Fizzle Anyhow!
- Forget Over A Grave!
- If He Felt That Way--Start!
- Figures Will Prove Anything.
- I Don't Want To--But That's It If I Must Die!
- Best Let An Elephant Go!
- History Repeats.
- Not The President, But The Old Friend.
- Close Your Eyes!
- Don't Judge By Appearances.
- Nothing Can Touch Him Further.
- Went And Returned!
- The Clear Foresight.
- Do It "Unbeknownst."
- One Cannot Die Twice.
- No More Invidious Name-Calling.
- The United States Of America The Treasury Of The World.
- Hang On--Not Hang!
- Lincoln's Last Wish.
- Assassiniation.
- A President, Not An Emperor.
- The Plot To Waylay The President (1860).
- I Don't Believe There Is Any Danger!
- Worry Till You Get Rid Of Things.
- The Fearlessness Of The God-Fearing.
- The Poisoning Plot.
- Nothing Like Getting Used To Things!
- Most Afraid Of A Friendly Shot.
- The One Word He Had Learned.
- Not To Disappoint The People.
- Nothing Like Prayer--But Praise.
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