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<h1>The Little Angel</h1>
<h3>AND OTHER STORIES</h3>
<h4>TRANSLATED FROM<br/> THE RUSSIAN OF</h4>
<h2><i>L. N. ANDREYEV</i></h2>
<h4>By W. H. LOWE</h4>
<h5>ALFRED A. KNOPF<br/> NEW YORK MCMXVI</h5>
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<hr />
<h3>Contents</h3>
<table summary="" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#pref01">PREFACE</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap01">THE LITTLE ANGEL</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap02">AT THE ROADSIDE STATION</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap03">SNAPPER</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap04">THE LIE</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap05">AN ORIGINAL</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap06">PETKA AT THE BUNGALOW</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap07">SILENCE</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap08">LAUGHTER</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap09">THE FRIEND</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap10">IN THE BASEMENT</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap11">THE CITY</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap12">THE MARSEILLAISE</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap13">THE TOCSIN</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap14">BARGAMOT AND GARASKA</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap15">STEPPING-STONES</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap16">THE SPY</SPAN></td>
</tr>
</table>
<h3><SPAN name="pref01"></SPAN>PREFACE</h3>
<p>Leonid Nikolaivich Andreyev was born in Orel in 1871. After his father’s
death he was thrown upon his own resources, but managed to study at both
Petrograd and Moscow Universities, graduating in Law in 1897. During this
period he endured great hardship—often even actual hunger—and was
the victim of deep melancholia. His first writings were unsuccessful; and, for
a time, he devoted himself to painting. Later he came into touch with the
Russian press as police-court reporter for a leading newspaper.</p>
<p>Then “Silence” was published, and brought him immediate
recognition. This terrible story may serve as an example of his method. The
silence of the frightened girl, dying with her secret, and of her mother,
stricken, through shock, with paralysis, crushes the pride of the priest whose
training has so stiffened his nature that he cannot express or welcome
affection. He cries for help; he entreats them to show him pity. His daughter
lies dead; his wife motionless. An abstract idea is the germ of each tale;
around it are woven both characters and incident—a process which is in
marked contrast to the work of his contemporary Maxim Gorky whose people with
their actions come directly from life—mostly, indeed, from his own
personal experiences. Sometimes the double note is tragic; oftener, the
abstract idea redeems the gloom or horror of the actual tale, as in “The
Little Angel” and “In the Basement,” for, while the stories
of Andreyev are tinged with more than even the ordinary tone of sadness of the
Russian writer, there seems to be in his mind a balancing, a search for some
kind of compensation, as though he would say, “No man is wholly good or
wholly bad.” Perhaps it is the weakness of a method by which his
characters become the puppets—however real—illustrating an idea;
perhaps it is the strength of the author’s vision, that makes his people
sometimes morbid and unhealthy. They are driven by a relentless creator, as in
Masefield’s “Nan,” to their destiny. Nevertheless, the beauty
of his style, the clear imagination, and the perfect form of his stories come
not only from an artist but from a philosopher and poet. His work is not for
babes. Deep truths are presented not more realistically in the anomalies and
terrors of life than in the symbolism of his short stories and, in its more
elaborate form, of his plays. Touches of tenderness, beauty, and sympathetic
insight are found on every page side by side with brutality and coarseness, for
Andreyev draws Life without hiding, without shirking. But, beyond and behind,
his mind is working ceaselessly, struggling to coordinate the whole.</p>
<p>His works comprise a large number of stories, including beside the present
collection “Judas Iscariot,” “The Red Laugh,”
“The Seven Who Were Hanged,” and some powerful studies in madness;
and of plays most of which are performed upon the Russian, though not yet upon
the English, stage. Among the latter are “The Life of Man,”
“Anathema,” “The Black Maskers,” “The Sabine
Women,” and “The Tragedy of Belgium.”</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap01"></SPAN>THE LITTLE ANGEL</h3>
<h4>I</h4>
<p>At times Sashka wished to give up what is called living: to cease to wash every
morning in cold water, on which thin sheets of ice floated about; to go no more
to the grammar school, and there to have to listen to every one scolding him;
no more to experience the pain in the small of his back and indeed over his
whole body when his mother made him kneel in the corner all the evening. But,
since he was only thirteen years of age, and did not know all the means by
which people abandon life at will, he continued to go to the grammar school and
to kneel in the corner, and it seemed to him as if life would never end. A year
would go by, and another, and yet another, and still he would be going to
school, and be made to kneel in the corner. And since Sashka possessed an
indomitable and bold spirit, he could not supinely tolerate evil, and so found
means to avenge himself on life. With this object in view he would thrash his
companions, be rude to the Head, impertinent to the masters, and tell lies all
day long to his teachers and to his mother—but to his father only he
never lied. If in a fight he got his nose broken, he would purposely make the
damage worse, and howl, without shedding a single tear, but so loudly that all
who heard him were fain to stop their ears to keep out the disagreeable sound.
When he had howled as long as thought advisable, he would suddenly cease, and,
putting out his tongue, draw in his copy-book a caricature of himself howling
at an usher who pressed his fingers to his ears, while the victor stood
trembling with fear. The whole copy-book was filled with caricatures, the one
which most frequently occurred being that of a short stout woman beating a boy
as thin as a lucifer-match with a rolling pin. Below in a large scrawling hand
would be written the legend: “Beg my pardon, puppy!” and the reply,
“Won’t! blow’d if I do!”</p>
<p>Before Christmas Sashka was expelled from school, and when his mother attempted
to thrash him, he bit her finger. This action gave him his liberty. He left off
washing in the morning, ran about all day bullying the other boys, and had but
one fear, and that was hunger, for his mother entirely left off providing for
him, so that he came to depend upon the pieces of bread and potatoes which his
father secreted for him. On these conditions Sashka found existence tolerable.</p>
<p>One Friday (it was Christmas Eve) he had been playing with the other boys,
until they had dispersed to their homes, followed by the squeak of the rusty
frozen wicket gate as it closed behind the last of them. It was already growing
dark, and a grey snowy mist was travelling up from the country, along a dark
alley; in a low black building, which stood fronting the end of the alley, a
lamp was burning with a reddish, unblinking light. The frost had become more
intense, and when Sashka reached the circle of light cast by the lamp, he saw
that fine dry flakes of snow were floating slowly on the air. It was high time
to be getting home.</p>
<p>“Where have you been knocking about all night, puppy?” exclaimed
his mother doubling her fist, without, however, striking. Her sleeves were
turned up, exposing her fat white arms, and on her forehead, almost devoid of
eyebrows, stood beads of perspiration. As Sashka passed by her he recognized
the familiar smell of vodka. His mother scratched her head with the short dirty
nail of her thick fore-finger, and since it was no good scolding, she merely
spat, and cried: “Statisticians! that’s what they are!”</p>
<p>Sashka shuffled contemptuously, and went behind the partition, from whence
might be heard the heavy breathing of his father, Ivan Savvich, who was in a
chronic state of shivering, and was now trying to warm himself by sitting on
the heated bench of the stove with his hands under him, palms downwards.</p>
<p>“Sashka! the Svetchnikovs have invited you to the Christmas tree. The
housemaid came,” he whispered.</p>
<p>“Get along with you!” said Sashka with incredulity.</p>
<p>“Fact! The old woman there has purposely not told you, but she has mended
your jacket all the same.”</p>
<p>“Non—sense,” Sashka replied, still more surprised.</p>
<p>The Svetchnikovs were rich people, who had put him to the grammar school, and
after his expulsion had forbidden him their house.</p>
<p>His father once more took his oath to the truth of his statement, and Sashka
became meditative.</p>
<p>“Well then, move, shift a bit,” he said to his father, as he leapt
upon the short bench, adding:</p>
<p>“I won’t go to those devils. I should prove jolly well too much for
them, if I were to turn up. <i>Depraved boy</i>,” drawled Sashka in
imitation of his patrons. “They are none too good themselves, the
smug-faced prigs!”</p>
<p>“Oh! Sashka, Sashka,” his father complained, sitting hunched up
with cold, “you’ll come to a bad end.”</p>
<p>“What about yourself, then?” was Sashka’s rude rejoinder.
“Better shut up. Afraid of the old woman. Ba! old muff!”</p>
<p>His father sat on in silence and shivered. A faint light found its way through
a broad clink at the top, where the partition failed to meet the ceiling by a
quarter of an inch, and lay in bright patches upon his high forehead, beneath
which the deep cavities of his eyes showed black.</p>
<p>In times gone by Ivan Savvich had been used to drink heavily, and then his wife
had feared and hated him. But when he had begun to develop unmistakable signs
of consumption, and could drink no longer, she took to drink in her turn, and
gradually accustomed herself to vodka. Then she avenged herself for all she had
suffered at the hands of that tall narrow-chested man, who used
incomprehensible words, had lost his place through disobedience and
drunkenness, and who brought home with him just such long-haired, debauched and
conceited fellows as himself.</p>
<p>In contradistinction to her husband, the more Feoktista Petrovna drank the
healthier she became, and the heavier became her fists. Now she said what she
pleased, brought men and women to the house just as she chose, and sang with
them noisy songs, while he lay silent behind the partition huddled together
with perpetual cold, and meditating on the injustice and sorrow of human life.
To every one, with whom she talked, she complained that she had no such enemies
in the world as her husband and son, they were stuck-up statisticians!</p>
<p>For the space of an hour his mother kept drumming into Sashka’s ears:</p>
<p>“But I say you shall go,” punctuating each word with a heavy blow
on the table, which made the tumblers, placed on it after washing, jump and
rattle again.</p>
<p>“But I say I won’t!” Sashka coolly replied, dragging down the
corners of his mouth with the will to show his teeth—a habit which had
earned for him at school the nickname of Wolfkin.</p>
<p>“I’ll thrash you, won’t I just!” cried his mother.</p>
<p>“All right! thrash away!”</p>
<p>But Feoktista Petrovna knew that she could no longer strike her son now that he
had begun to retaliate by biting, and that if she drove him into the street he
would go off larking, and sooner get frost-bitten than go to the Svetchnikovs,
therefore she appealed to her husband’s authority.</p>
<p>“Calls himself a father, and can’t protect the mother from
insult!”</p>
<p>“Really, Sashka, go. Why are you so obstinate?” he jerked out from
the bench. “They will perhaps take you up again. They are kind
people.” Sashka only laughed in an insulting manner.</p>
<p>His father, long ago, before Sashka was born, had been tutor at the
Svetchnikovs’, and had ever since looked on them as the best people in
the world. At that time he had held also an appointment in the statistical
office of the <i>Zemstvo,</i> and had not yet taken to drink. Eventually he was
compelled through his own fault to marry his landlady’s daughter. From
that time he severed his connection with the Svetchnikovs, and took to drink.
Indeed, he let himself go to such an extent, that he was several times picked
up drunk in the streets and taken to the police station. But the Svetchnikovs
did not cease to assist him with money, and Feoktista Petrovna, although she
hated them, together with books and everything connected with her
husband’s past, still valued their acquaintance, and was in the habit of
boasting of it.</p>
<p>“Perhaps you might bring something for me too from the Christmas
tree,” continued his father. He was using craft to induce his son to go,
and Sashka knew it, and despised his father for his weakness and want of
straightforwardness; though he really did wish to bring back something for the
poor sickly old man, who had for a long time been without even good tobacco.</p>
<p>“All right!” he blurted out; “give me my jacket. Have you put
the buttons on? No fear! I know you too well!”</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>The children had not yet been admitted to the drawing-room, where the Christmas
tree stood, but remained chattering in the nursery. Sashka, with lofty
superciliousness, stood listening to their naive talk, and fingering in his
breeches pocket the broken cigarettes which he had managed to abstract from his
host’s study. At this moment there came up to him the youngest of the
Svetchnikovs, Kolya, and stood motionless before him, a look of surprise on his
face, his toes turned in, and a finger stuck in the corner of his pouting
mouth. Six months ago, at the instance of his relatives, he had given up this
bad habit of putting his finger in his mouth, but he could not quite break
himself of it. He had blonde locks cut in a fringe on his forehead and falling
in ringlets on his shoulders, and blue, wondering eyes; in fact, he was just
such a boy in appearance as Sashka particularly loved to bully.</p>
<p>“Are ”oo weally a naughty boy?” he inquired of Sashka.
“Miss said ”oo was. I’m a dood boy.”</p>
<p>“That you are!” replied Sashka, considering the other’s short
velvet trousers and great turndown collars.</p>
<p>“Would ”oo like to have a dun? There!” and he pointed at him
a little pop-gun with a cork tied to it. The Wolfkin took the gun, pressed down
the spring, and, aiming at the nose of the unsuspecting Kolya, pulled the
trigger. The cork struck his nose, and rebounding, hung by the string.
Kolya’s blue eyes opened wider than ever, and filled with tears.
Transferring his finger from his mouth to his reddening nose he blinked his
long eyelashes and whispered:</p>
<p>“Bad—bad boy!”</p>
<p>A young lady of striking appearance, with her hair dressed in the simplest and
the most becoming fashion, now entered the nursery. She was sister to the lady
of the house, the very one indeed to whom Sashka’s father had formerly
given lessons.</p>
<p>“Here’s the boy,” said she, pointing out Sashka to the
bald-headed man who accompanied her. “Bow, Sashka, you should not be so
rude!”</p>
<p>But Sashka would bow neither to her, nor to her companion of the bald head. She
little suspected how much he knew. But, as a fact, Sashka did know that his
miserable father had loved her, and that she had married another; and, though
this had taken place subsequent to his father’s marriage, Sashka could
not bring himself to forgive what seemed to him like treachery.</p>
<p>“Takes after his father!” sighed Sofia Dmitrievna. “Could not
you, Plutov Michailovich, do something for him? My husband says that a
commercial school would suit him better than the grammar school. Sashka, would
you like to go to a technical school?”</p>
<p>“No!” curtly replied Sashka, who had caught the offensive word
“husband.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to be a shepherd, then?” asked the gentleman.</p>
<p>“Not likely!” said Sashka, in an offended tone.</p>
<p>“What then?”</p>
<p>Now Sashka did not know what he would like to be, but upon reflection replied:
“Well, it’s all the same to me, even a shepherd, if you
like.”</p>
<p>The bald-headed gentleman regarded the strange boy with a look of perplexity.
When his eyes had travelled up from his patched boots to his face, Sashka put
out his tongue and quickly drew it back again, so that Sofia Dmitrievna did not
notice anything, but the old gentleman showed an amount of irascibility that
she could not understand.</p>
<p>“I should not mind going to a commercial school,” bashfully
suggested Sashka.</p>
<p>The lady was overjoyed at Sashka’s decision, and meditated with a sigh on
the beneficial influence exercised by an old love.</p>
<p>“I don’t know whether there will be a vacancy,” dryly
remarked the old man avoiding looking at Sashka, and smoothing down the ridge
of hair which stuck up on the back of his head. “However, we shall
see.”</p>
<p>Meanwhile the children were becoming noisy, and in a great state of excitement
were waiting impatiently for the Christmas tree.</p>
<p>The excellent practice with the pop-gun made in the hands of a boy, who
commanded respect both for his stature and for his reputation for naughtiness,
found imitators, and many a little button of a nose was made red. The tiny
maids, holding their sides, bent almost double with laughter, as their little
cavaliers with manly contempt of fear and pain, but all the same wrinkling up
their faces in suspense, received the impact of the cork.</p>
<p>At length the doors were opened, and a voice said: “Come in, children;
gently, not so fast!” Opening their little eyes wide, and holding their
breath in anticipation, the children filed into the brightly illumined
drawing-room in orderly pairs, and quietly walked round the glittering tree. It
cast a strong, shadowless light on their eager faces, with rounded eyes and
mouths. For a minute there reigned the silence of profound enchantment, which
all at once broke out into a chorus of delighted exclamation. One of the little
girls, unable to restrain her delight, kept dancing up and down in the same
place, her little tress braided with blue ribbon beating meanwhile rhythmically
against her shoulders. Sashka remained morose and gloomy—something evil
was working in his little wounded breast. The tree blinded him with its red,
shriekingly insolent glitter of countless candles. It was foreign, hostile to
him, even as the crowd of smart, pretty children which surrounded it. He would
have liked to give it a shove, and topple it over on their shining heads. It
seemed as though some iron hand were gripping his heart, and wringing out of it
every drop of blood. He crept behind the piano, and sat down there in a corner
unconsciously crumpling to pieces in his pocket the last of the cigarettes, and
thinking that though he had a father and mother and a home, it came to the same
thing as if he had none, and nowhere to go to. He tried to recall to his
imagination his little penknife, which he had acquired by a swap not long ago,
and was very fond of; but his knife all at once seemed to him a very poor
affair with its ground-down blade and only half of a yellow haft. To-morrow he
would smash it up, and then he would have nothing left at all!</p>
<p>But suddenly Sashka’s narrow eyes gleamed with astonishment, and his face
in a moment resumed its ordinary expression of audacity and self-confidence. On
the side of the tree turned towards him—which was the back of it, and
less brightly illumined than the other side—he discovered something such
as had never come within the circle of his existence, and without which all his
surroundings appeared as empty as though peopled by persons without life. It
was a little angel in wax carelessly hung in the thickest of the dark boughs,
and looking as if it were floating in the air. His transparent dragon-fly wings
trembled in the light, and he seemed altogether alive and ready to fly away.
The rosy fingers of his exquisitely formed hands were stretched upwards, and
from his head there floated just such locks as Kolya’s. But there was
something here that was wanting in Kolya’s face, and in all other faces
and things. The face of the little angel did not shine with joy, nor was it
clouded by grief; but there lay on it the impress of another feeling, not to be
explained in words, nor defined by thought, but to be attained only by the
sympathy of a kindred feeling. Sashka was not conscious of the force of the
mysterious influence which attracted him towards the little angel, but he felt
that he had known him all his life, and had always loved him, loved him more
than his penknife, more than his father, more than anything else. Filled with
doubt, alarm, and a delight which he could not comprehend, Sashka clasped his
hands to his bosom and whispered:</p>
<p>“Dear—dear little angel!”</p>
<p>The more intently he looked the more fraught with significance the expression
of the little angel’s face became. He was so infinitely far off, so
unlike everything which surrounded him there. The other toys seemed to take a
pride in hanging there pretty, and decked out, upon the glittering tree, but he
was pensive, and fearing the intrusive light purposely hid himself in the dark
greenery, so that none might see him. It would be a mad cruelty to touch his
dainty little wings.</p>
<p>“Dear—dear!” whispered Sashka.</p>
<p>His head became feverish. He clasped his hands behind his back, and in full
readiness to fight to the death to win the little angel, he walked to and fro
with cautious, stealthy steps. He avoided looking at the little angel, lest he
should direct the attention of others towards him, but he felt that he was
still there, and had not flown away.</p>
<p>Now the hostess appeared in the doorway, a tall, stately lady with a bright
aureole of grey hair dressed high upon her head. The children trooped round her
with expressions of delight, and the little girl—the same that had danced
about in her place—hung wearily on her hand, blinking heavily with sleepy
eyes.</p>
<p>As Sashka approached her he seemed almost choking with emotion.</p>
<p>“Auntie—auntie!”<SPAN name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></SPAN><SPAN href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</SPAN> said he,
trying to speak caressingly, but his voice sounded harsher than ever.
“Auntie, dear!”</p>
<p>She did not hear him, so he tugged impatiently at her dress.</p>
<p>“What’s the matter with you? Why are you pulling my dress?”
said the grey-haired lady in surprise. “It’s rude.”</p>
<p>“Auntie—auntie, do give me one thing from the tree; give me the
little angel.”</p>
<p>“Impossible,” replied the lady in a tone of indifference. “We
are going to keep the tree decorated till the New Year. But you are no longer a
child; you should call me by name—Maria Dmitrievna.”</p>
<p>Sashka, feeling as if he were falling down a precipice, grasped the last means
of saving himself.</p>
<p>“I am sorry I have been naughty. I’ll be more industrious for the
future,” he blurted out. But this formula, which had always paid with his
masters, made no impression upon the lady of the grey hair.</p>
<p>“A good thing, too, my friend,” she said, as unconcernedly as
before.</p>
<p>“Give me the little angel,” demanded Sashka, gruffly.</p>
<p>“But it’s impossible. Can’t you understand that?”</p>
<p>But Sashka did not understand, and when the lady turned to go out of the room
he followed her, his gaze fixed without conscious thought upon her black silk
dress. In his surging brain there glimmered a recollection of how one of the
boys in his class had asked the master to mark him 3,<SPAN name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></SPAN><SPAN href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</SPAN> and when
the master refused he had knelt down before him, and putting his hands together
as in prayer, had begun to cry. The master was angry, but gave him 3 all the
same. At the time Sashka had immortalised this episode in a caricature, but now
his only means left was to follow the boy’s example. Accordingly he
plucked at the lady’s dress again, and when she turned round, dropped
with a bang on to his knees, and folded his hands as described above. But he
could not squeeze out a single tear!</p>
<p>“Are you out of your mind?” exclaimed the grey-haired lady, casting
a searching look round the room; but luckily no one was present.</p>
<p>“What is the matter with you?”</p>
<p>Kneeling there with clasped hands, Sashka looked at her with dislike, and
rudely repeated:</p>
<p>“Give me the little angel.”</p>
<p>His eyes, fixed intently on the lady to catch the first word she should utter,
were anything but good to look at, and the hostess answered hurriedly:</p>
<p>“Well, then, I’ll give it to you. Ah! what a stupid you are! I will
give you what you want, but why could you not wait till the New Year?”</p>
<p>“Stand up! And never,” she added in a didactic tone, “never
kneel to any one: it is humiliating. Kneel before God alone.”</p>
<p>“Talk away!” thought Sashka, trying to get in front of her, and
merely succeeding in treading on her dress.</p>
<p>When she had taken the toy from the tree, Sashka devoured her with his eyes,
but stretched out his hands for it with a painful pucker of the nose. It seemed
to him that the tall lady would break the little angel.</p>
<p>“Beautiful thing!” said the lady, who was sorry to part with such a
dainty and presumably expensive toy. “Who can have hung it there? Well,
what do you want with such a thing? Are you not too big to know what to do with
it? Look, there are some picture-books. But this I promised to give to Kolya;
he begged so earnestly for it.” But this was not the truth.</p>
<p>Sashka’s agony became unbearable. He clenched his teeth convulsively, and
seemed almost to grind them. The lady of the grey hair feared nothing so much
as a scene, so she slowly held out the little angel to Sashka.</p>
<p>“There now, take it!” she said in a displeased tone; “what a
persistent boy you are!”</p>
<p>Sashka’s hands as they seized the little angel seemed like tentacles, and
were tense as steel springs, but withal so soft and careful that the little
angel might have imagined himself to be flying in the air.</p>
<p>“A-h-h!” escaped in a long <i>diminuendo</i> sigh from
Sashka’s breast, while in his eyes glistened two little tear-drops, which
stood still there as though unused to the light. Slowly drawing the little
angel to his bosom, he kept his shining eyes on the hostess, with a quiet,
tender smile which died away in a feeling of unearthly bliss. It seemed, when
the dainty wings of the little angel touched Sashka’s sunken breast, as
if he experienced something so blissful, so bright, the like of which had never
before been experienced in this sorrowful, sinful, suffering world.</p>
<p>“A-h-h!” sighed he once more as the little angel’s wings
touched him. And at the shining of his face the absurdly decorated and
insolently growing tree seemed to be extinguished, and the grey-haired, portly
dame smiled with gladness, and the parchment-like face of the bald-headed
gentleman twitched, and the children fell into a vivid silence as though
touched by a breath of human happiness.</p>
<p>For one short moment all observed a mysterious likeness between the awkward boy
who had outgrown his clothes, and the lineaments of the little angel, which had
been spiritualised by the hand of an unknown artist.</p>
<p>But the next moment the picture was entirely changed. Crouching like a panther
preparing to spring, Sashka surveyed the surrounding company, on the look-out
for some one who should dare wrest his little angel from him.</p>
<p>“I’m going home,” he said in a dull voice, having in view a
way of escape through the crowd, “home to Father.”</p>
<p class="footnote">
<SPAN name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></SPAN><SPAN href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></SPAN> This is, of course, only a child’s way of
addressing an elder.—<i>Tr.</i>]</p>
<p class="footnote">
<SPAN name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></SPAN><SPAN href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></SPAN> In Russian schools 5 is the maximum
mark.—TV.]</p>
<h4>III</h4>
<p>His mother was asleep worn out with a whole day’s work and
vodka-drinking. In the little room behind the partition there stood a small
cooking-lamp burning on the table. Its feeble yellow light, with difficulty
penetrating the sooty glass, threw a strange shadow over the faces of Sashka
and his father.</p>
<p>“Is it not pretty?” asked Sashka in a whisper, holding the little
angel at a distance from his father, so as not to allow him to touch it.</p>
<p>“Yes, there’s something most remarkable about him,” whispered
the father, gazing thoughtfully at the toy. And his face expressed the same
concentrated attention and delight, as did Sashka’s.</p>
<p>“Look, he is going to fly.”</p>
<p>“I see it too,” replied Sashka in an ecstasy. “Think
I’m blind? But look at his little wings! Ah! don’t touch!”</p>
<p>The father withdrew his hand, and with troubled eyes studied the details of the
little angel, while Sashka whispered with the air of a pedagogue:</p>
<p>“Father, what a bad habit you have of touching everything! You might
break it.”</p>
<p>There fell upon the wall the shadows of two grotesque, motionless heads bending
towards one another, one big and shaggy, the other small and round.</p>
<p>Within the big head strange torturing thoughts, though at the same time full of
delight, were seething. His eyes unblinkingly regarded the little angel, and
under his steadfast gaze it seemed to grow larger and brighter, and its wings
to tremble with a noiseless trepidation, and all the surroundings—the
timber-built, soot-stained wall, the dirty table, Sashka—everything
became fused into one level grey mass without light or shade. It seemed to the
broken man that he heard a pitying voice from the world of wonders, wherein
once he had dwelt, and whence he had been cast out forever. There they knew
nothing of dirt, of weary quarrelling, of the blindly-cruel strife of egotism,
there they knew nothing of the tortures of a man arrested in the streets with
callous laughter, and beaten by the rough hand of the night-watchman. There
everything is pure, joyful, bright. And all this purity found an asylum in the
soul of her whom he loved more than life, and had lost—when he had kept
his hold upon his own useless life. With the smell of wax, which emanated from
the toy, was mingled a subtle aroma, and it seemed to the broken man that her
dear fingers touched the angel, those fingers which he would fain have caressed
in one long kiss, till death should close his lips forever. This was why the
little toy was so beautiful, this was why there was in it something specially
attractive, which defied description. The little angel had descended from that
heaven which her soul was to him, and had brought a ray of light into the damp
room, steeped in sulphurous fumes, and to the dark soul of the man from whom
had been taken all: love, and happiness, and life.</p>
<p>On a level with the eyes of the man, who had lived his life, sparkled the eyes
of the boy, who was beginning his life, and embraced the little angel in their
caress. For them present and future had disappeared: the ever-sorrowful,
piteous father, the rough, unendurable mother, the black darkness of insults,
of cruelty, of humiliations, and of spiteful grief. The thoughts of Sashka were
formless, nebulous, but all the more deeply for that did they move his agitated
soul. Everything that is good and bright in the world, all profound grief, and
the hope of a soul that sighs for God—the little angel absorbed them all
into himself, and that was why he glowed with such a soft divine radiance, that
was why his little dragonfly wings trembled with a noiseless trepidation.</p>
<p>The father and son did not look at one another: their sick hearts grieved,
wept, and rejoiced apart. But there was a something in their thoughts which
fused their hearts in one, and annihilated that bottomless abyss which
separates man from man and makes him so lonely, unhappy, and weak. The father
with an unconscious motion put his arm around the neck of his son, and the
son’s head rested equally without conscious volition upon his
father’s consumptive chest.</p>
<p>“<i>She</i> it was who gave it to thee, was it not?” whispered the
father, without taking his eyes off the little angel.</p>
<p>At another time Sashka would have replied with a rude negation, but now the
only reply possible resounded of itself within his soul, and he calmly
pronounced the pious fraud: “Who else? of course she did.”</p>
<p>The father made no reply, and Sashka relapsed into silence.</p>
<p>Something grated in the adjoining room, then clicked, and then was silent for a
moment, and then noisily and hurriedly the clock struck “One, two,
three.”</p>
<p>“Sashka, do you ever dream?” asked the father in a meditative tone.</p>
<p>“No! Oh, yes,” he admitted, “once I had one, in which I fell
down from the roof. We were climbing after the pigeons, and I fell down.”</p>
<p>“But I dream always. Strange things are dreams. One sees the whole past,
one loves and suffers as though it were reality.”</p>
<p>Again he was silent, and Sashka felt his arm tremble as it lay upon his neck.
The trembling and pressure of his father’s arm became stronger and
stronger, and the sensitive silence of the night was all at once broken by the
pitiful sobbing sound of suppressed weeping. Sashka sternly puckered his brow,
and cautiously—so as not to disturb the heavy trembling arm—wiped
away a tear from his eyes. So strange was it to see a big old man crying.</p>
<p>“Ah! Sashka, Sashka,” sobbed the father, “what is the meaning
of everything?”</p>
<p>“Why, what’s the matter?” sternly whispered Sashka.
“You’re crying just like a little boy.”</p>
<p>“Well, I won’t, then,” said the father with, a piteous smile
of excuse. “What’s the good?”</p>
<p>Feoktista Petrovna turned on her bed. She sighed, cleared her throat, and
mumbled incoherent sounds in a loud and strangely persistent manner.</p>
<p>It was time to go to bed. But before doing so the little angel must be disposed
of for the night. He could not be left on the floor, so he was hung up by his
string, which was fastened to the flue of the stove. There it stood out
accurately delineated against the white Dutch-tiles. And so they could both see
him, Sashka and his father.</p>
<p>Hurriedly throwing into a corner the various rags on which he was in the habit
of sleeping, Sashka lay down on his back, in order as quickly as possible to
look again at the little angel.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you undress?” asked his father as he shivered and
wrapped himself up in his tattered blanket, and arranged his clothes, which he
had thrown over his feet.</p>
<p>“What’s the good? I shall soon be up again.”</p>
<p>Sashka wished to add that he did not care to go to sleep at all, but he had no
time to do so, since he fell to sleep as suddenly as though he had sunk to the
bottom of a deep swift river.</p>
<p>His father presently fell asleep also. And gentle sleep and restfulness lay
upon the weary face of the man who had lived his life, and upon the brave face
of the little man who was just beginning his life.</p>
<p>But the little angel hanging by the hot stove began to melt. The lamp, which
had been left burning at the entreaty of Sashka, filled the room with the smell
of kerosene, and through its smoked glass threw a melancholy light upon a scene
of gradual dissolution. The little angel seemed to stir. Over his rosy fingers
there rolled thick drops which fell upon the bench. To the smell of kerosene
was added the stifling scent of melting wax. The little angel gave a tremble as
though on the point of flight, and—fell with a soft thud upon the hot
flags.</p>
<p>An inquisitive cockroach singed its wings as it ran round the formless lump of
melted wax, climbed up the dragon-fly wings, and twitching its feelers went on
its way.</p>
<p>Through the curtained window the grey-blue light of coming day crept in, and
the frozen water-carrier was already making a noise in the courtyard with his
iron scoop.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap02"></SPAN>AT THE ROADSIDE STATION</h3>
<p>It was early spring when I went to the bungalow. On the road still lay last
year’s darkened leaves. I was unaccompanied; and alone I wandered through
the still empty bungalow, the windows of which reflected the April sun. I
mounted the broad bright terraces, and wondered who would live here under the
green canopy of birch and oak. And when I closed my eyes I seemed to hear
quick, cheerful footsteps, youthful song, and the ringing sound of
women’s laughter.</p>
<p>I used often to go to the station to meet the passenger trains. I was not
expecting any one, for there was no one to come and see me; but I am fond of
those iron giants, when they rush past, rolling their shoulders, tearing along
the rails with colossal momentum, and carrying somewhither persons unknown to
me, but still my fellow-creatures. They seem to me alive and uncanny. In their
speed I recognize the immensity of the world and the might of man, and when
they whistle with such abandon and in so imperious a manner, I think how they
are whistling in the same way in America, and Asia, maybe in torrid Africa.</p>
<p>The station was a small one, with two short sidings, and when the passenger
train had left it became still and deserted. The forest and the streaming
sunshine dominated the little low platform and the desolate track, and blended
the rails in silence and light. On one of the sidings under an empty
sleeping-car fowls wandered about, swarming round the iron wheels, and one
could hardly believe, as one watched their peaceful, fussy activity, that it
would be much the same in America, in Asia, or in torrid Africa.... In a week I
became acquainted with all the inhabitants of this little corner, and saluted
as acquaintances the watchmen in their blue blouses, and the silent pointsmen
with their dull countenances and their brass horns, which glittered in the sun.</p>
<p>Every day I saw at the station a gendarme. He was a healthy, strong fellow, as
are they all, with broad back, in a tightly stretched blue uniform, with
enormous arms and a youthful countenance, upon which, from behind a severe
official dignity, there still looked out the blue-eyed naïveté of the country.
At first he used to scan me all over with a gloomy suspicion, and put on a look
of unapproachable severity without a touch of indulgence, and when he passed me
would clank his spurs in a peculiarly sharp and eloquent manner. But he soon
became used to me, just as he had become used to the pillars which supported
the roof of the platform, to the desolate track, and to the discarded
sleeping-car under which the fowls kept running about. In such quiet corners a
habit is soon formed. And when he left off observing me, I perceived that this
man was bored—bored as no one else in the world. He was bored with the
wearisome station, bored by the absence of thoughts, bored by his
strength-devouring inactivity, bored by the exclusiveness of his position,
somewhere in the void between the station-master, who was unapproachable to
him, and the lower employés to whom he was himself unapproachable. His soul
lived on breaches of the peace, but at this tiny station no one ever committed
a breach of the peace, and every time the passenger train departed without any
adventure there passed over the face of the gendarme the expression of
annoyance and vexation of a person who has been deprived of his due. For some
minutes he would stand still in indecision, and then with listless gait walk to
the other end of the platform without any aim or object. On his way he might
stop for a second in front of some peasant woman who had been waiting for the
train—but she was only a peasant woman like any other—and so
knitting his brows the gendarme would pass on his way.</p>
<p>Then he would sit down stout and listless, as though he had been boiled soft,
and felt how soft and flabby were his useless arms under the cloth of his
uniform, and how his powerful body, created for work, grew weary with the
torturing fatigue of doing nothing. We are bored only in the head, but he was
bored in every part of him, from head to foot: his cap, cocked on one side with
youthful lack of purpose, was bored, his spurs were bored and tinkled
inharmoniously and irregularly as though muffled. Then he began to yawn. How he
yawned! his mouth became contorted, expanded from ear to ear, grew broader and
broader, till it swallowed up his whole face, it seemed that in another second,
through the ever enlarging aperture, you would be able to see down his throat,
choke-full of greasy soup. How he yawned! He went away in a hurry, but for long
that awful yawn seemed to put my jaw-bone out of joint, and the trees were
broken and bobbing about to my tear-filled eyes.</p>
<p>Once from the mail train they took a passenger travelling without a ticket, and
this was a very festival for the bored gendarme. He drew himself up, his spurs
jingled with precision and austerity, his face became concentrated and angry;
but his happiness was but short-lived. The passenger paid his fare, and with a
hasty oath got back into the car, and in the rear the metal rowels of the
gendarme’s spurs gave a disconcerted and piteous rattle, as his enervated
body swayed feebly over them.</p>
<p>And at times when he yawned he became to me something terrible.</p>
<p>For some days workmen had been busy about the station clearing the site, and
when I returned from town after a stay of a couple of days, the masons were
laying the third row of bricks; a brand-new building was arising. These masons
were numerous, and worked quickly and skilfully; and it was a strange pleasure
to watch the straight, even wall springing up out of the ground. When they had
covered one row with mortar they laid on a second row, adjusting the bricks
according to their dimensions, laying them now on the broad side, now on the
narrow, and cutting off the corners to make them fit. They worked meditatively,
and though the course of their meditation was evident enough, and their problem
clear, still it gave an additional charm and interest to the work. I was
looking at them with enjoyment when an authoritative voice at my elbow shouted:</p>
<p>“Look here, you. What’s your name! Why don’t you put this
right?”</p>
<p>It was the voice of the gendarme, squeezing himself through the iron railings,
which separated the asphalt platform from the workmen; he was pointing to a
certain brick and insisting: “You with the beard! lay that brick
properly. Don’t you see, it’s a half-brick?”</p>
<p>The mason with the beard, which was in places whitened with lime, turned round
in silence—the gendarme’s face was severe and imposing—in
silence he followed the direction of the gendarme’s finger, took up the
brick, trimmed it, and in silence put it back in its place. The gendarme gave
me a severe look and went away; but the seductive interest in the work was
stronger than his sense of dignity. When he had made a couple of turns on the
platform, he again came to a standstill in front of the workmen, adopting a
somewhat careless and contemptuous pose. But his face no longer showed signs of
boredom.</p>
<p>I went to the wood, and when I was returning through the station it was one
o’clock, the workmen were resting, and the place was empty as usual. But
some one was busying himself about the unfinished wall; it was the gendarme. He
was taking up bricks, and finishing the fifth row. I could only catch a sight
of his broad, tightly stretched back, but it was expressive of intent thought,
and indecision. Evidently the work was more complicated than he had imagined.
His unaccustomed eye was playing him false; he stepped back, shook his head,
stooped for a fresh brick, striking the ground with his sabre as he bent down.
Once he raised his finger, in the classic gesture of one who has discovered the
solution of a problem, such as might have been used by Archimedes himself, and
his back once more assumed the erect attitude of greater self-confidence and
certainty. But immediately it became once more doubled up in the consciousness
of the undignified nature of the work undertaken. There was in his whole,
full-grown figure something secretive as with children, when they are afraid
they will be found out.</p>
<p>I carelessly struck a match to light a cigarette, and the gendarme turned round
startled. For a moment he looked at me in confusion, and suddenly his youthful
countenance was illumined by a slightly solicitous, confiding, and kindly
smile. But the very next moment he resumed his austere, unapproachable look,
and his hand went up to his little thin moustache—but in it, in that very
hand, there still lay that unlucky brick! And I saw how painfully ashamed he
was of that brick, and of his involuntary, compromising smile. Apparently he
did not know how to blush, otherwise he would have become as red as the brick
which he still held helplessly in his hand.</p>
<p>They had carried the wall up half way, and it was no longer possible to see
what the skilful masons were doing on their scaffolding. Once more the gendarme
oscillated from end to end of the platform, yawning, and when he turned round
and passed me I could feel that he was ashamed—and that he hated me. And
as I looked at his powerful arms listlessly swinging in their sleeves, at his
inharmoniously jingling spurs and trailing sabre, it seemed to me that it was
all unreal—that in the scabbard there was no sabre at all with which he
might cut a man down, in the case no revolver, with which he might shoot a man
dead. And his very uniform, that too was unreal, and seemed as though it was
all just some strange masquerade taking place in full daylight, in the face of
the honest April sun, and amidst ordinary working people, and busy fowls
picking up grains under the sleeping-car.</p>
<p>But at times—at times I began to fear for some one. He was so terribly
bored....</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap03"></SPAN>SNAPPER</h3>
<h4>I</h4>
<p>He belonged to no one, he had no name of his own, and none could say where he
spent the long, frosty winter, or how he was fed. The house dogs hungry as
himself, but proud and strong from the consciousness of belonging to a house,
would chase him away from the warm cottages. When driven by hunger or an
instinctive need of company, he showed himself in the street, the boys pelted
him with stones and sticks, while the grown-ups gave a merry whoop, or a
terribly piercing whistle. Distraught with fear he would dart about from side
to side, and stumbling against the fences and people’s legs, would run as
as fast as he could to the end of the village, and hide himself in the depths
of a large garden in a place known only to himself. There he would lick his
bruises and wounds, and in solitude heap up terror and malice.</p>
<p>Once only had he been pitied and petted. This was by a peasant, a drunkard, who
was returning from the public house. Just then he loved all things, and pitied
all, and said something in his beard about kind people, and the trust he
himself put in kind people. He pitied even the dirty, unlovely dog, on which by
chance his drunken, aimless glance had fallen.</p>
<p>“Doggie,” said he, calling it by a name common to all dogs;
“Doggie, come here, don’t be afraid.”</p>
<p>Doggie wanted very much to come. He wagged his tail, but could not make up his
mind. The peasant patted his knee with his hand, and repeated reassuringly:</p>
<p>“Come along, then, silly. I swear I won’t hurt you.”</p>
<p>But while the dog was hesitating, wagging its tail more and more energetically,
and advancing with short steps, the humour of the drunkard changed. He recalled
all the insults that had been heaped on him by kind people, and felt angry and
dully malicious, so that when Doggie lay on his back before him, he gave him a
vicious kick in the side with the toe of his heavy boot.</p>
<p>“Garn! Dirty! Where are you coming to!”</p>
<p>The dog began to whimper, more from surprise and the insult, than from pain,
and the peasant staggered home, where he gave his wife a savage beating, and
tore to pieces a new kerchief which he had bought for her as a present the week
before.</p>
<p>From this time forth the dog ceased to trust people who wished to pet it, and
either put his tail between his legs and ran away, or sometimes would fly at
them angrily and try to bite them, until they succeeded in driving him away
with stones or a stick. For one winter he had taken up his abode under the
verandah of an unoccupied bungalow which was without a caretaker, and took care
of it for nothing. By night he ran about the streets and barked till he was
hoarse, and long after he had lain himself down in his place, he would keep up
an angry growl, but beneath the anger there was apparent a certain amount of
content, and even pride, in himself.</p>
<p>The winter nights dragged themselves out slowly, and the black windows of the
empty bungalow gazed grimly on the motionless, icy garden. Sometimes blue
lights seemed to kindle in them, at others a falling star would be reflected in
the panes, or again the sharp-horned moon would throw on them its timid ray.</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>Spring came on, and the quiet bungalow was all a-voice with loud talk, the
creaking of wheels, and the stamping of people moving heavy things. The owners
had arrived from the city, a whole merry troop of grown-up people, of
half-grown ups and children, all intoxicated with the air, the warmth and the
light. Some shouted, some sang, and some laughed with shrill female voices.</p>
<p>The first with whom the dog made acquaintance was a pretty girl, who ran out
into the garden in a formal, cinnamon-coloured dress.<SPAN name="FNanchor_1_3" id="FNanchor_1_3"></SPAN><SPAN href="#Footnote_1_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</SPAN> Greedily
and impatiently desiring to seize and hug in her embrace everything visible,
she looked at the clear sky, at the reddish cherry twigs, and lay quickly down
on the grass with her face towards the burning sun. Then she got up again as
suddenly, and hugging herself, and kissing the Spring air with her fresh lips,
said expressively and seriously:</p>
<p>“Well, this <i>is</i> jolly!”</p>
<p>She spoke, and then suddenly turned round. At this very moment the dog
noiselessly approached, and furiously seized the extended skirt of her dress in
its teeth and tore it, and then as noiselessly disappeared into the thick
gooseberry and currant bushes.</p>
<p>“Oh! bad dog!” cried the girl, running away, and for long might be
heard her agitated voice: “Mamma! children! don’t go into the
garden. There is a dog there, such a great, big, fierce one!”</p>
<p>At night the dog crept up to the sleeping bungalow, and noiselessly lay down in
its place under the verandah. It smelt of people, and through the open windows
was borne the soft sound of gentle breathing. The people were asleep, they were
powerless and no longer terrible, and the dog jealously guarded them. He slept
with one eye open, and at every rustle stretched out his head with its two
motionless phosphorescent eyes. But the alarming noises were so many in the
sensitive Spring night: in the grass something small and unseen rustled, and
came quite close to the shiny nose of the dog; last year’s twigs crackled
under the feet of sleeping birds, and on the neighbouring road a cart rumbled,
and heavily-laden wains creaked. And afar off round about in the motionless air
was diffused the sweet, fresh scent of resin, and lured one into the lightening
distance.</p>
<p>The owners who had arrived at the bungalow were very kind people, and all the
more so now that they were far from the city, breathing pure air, seeing around
them everything green, and blue and harmless. The sunlight went into them in
warmth, and came out again in laughter and goodwill towards all things living.
At first they wished to drive away the dog, of which they were afraid, and even
shot at it with a revolver, when it would not take itself off; but later they
became accustomed to its barking at night, and even sometimes remembered it in
the morning:</p>
<p>“But where’s our Snapper?”</p>
<p>And this new name “Snapper” stuck to it. Sometimes even by day they
would notice among the bushes its dark body, which would fall flat on the
ground at the first motion of a hand throwing bread—as though it were a
stone, not bread,—and soon all became accustomed to Snapper, and called
him “our dog,” and joked about the cause of his shyness and
unreasonable fear. Each day Snapper diminished by one step the distance which
separated him from the people; he grew accustomed to their faces, and adopted
their habits. Half an hour before dinner he would be already standing in the
shrubs, blinking with a conciliatory air. And that same little schoolgirl it
was, who, forgetting the former outrage, brought the dog definitely into the
happy circle of cheerful, restful people.</p>
<p>“Snapper, come here,” said she, calling him. “Good dog, come
here. Do you like sugar? I’ll give you a lump. Come along, then.”</p>
<p>But Snapper would not come; he was afraid. Then cautiously patting her knee,
and speaking with all the caressing kindness of a beautiful voice and a pretty
face, Lelya approached the dog, but was in her turn afraid; suddenly he
snapped.</p>
<p>“I am so fond of you, Snapper, dear; you have such a nice little nose,
and such expressive eyes. Won’t you trust me, Snapperkin?”</p>
<p>Lelya raised her eyebrows, and her own little nose was so pretty and her eyes
so expressive, that the sun acted wisely in covering all her little youthful,
naïvely charming face with hot kisses, till her cheeks were red.</p>
<p>Snapper for the second time in his life turned on his back and closed his eyes,
not knowing for a certainty whether he was to be kicked or petted. But he was
petted. Small warm hands touched irresolutely his woolly head, and as though
this were a sign of undeniable authority, began freely and boldly to run over
the whole of his hairy body, rumpling, petting, and tickling.</p>
<p>“Mamma! children! look here, I’m petting Snapper,” cried
Lelya.</p>
<p>When the children ran up, noisy, loud-voiced, quick and bright as drops of
uncontrollable mercury, Snapper cowed down in fear and helpless expectancy: he
knew that if any one struck him now, he would no longer be in a position to fix
his sharp teeth in the body of the offender: his unappeasable malice had been
taken from him. And when they all began to vie in caressing him, he for a long
time could not help trembling at each touch of the caressing hand, and the
unwonted fondling hurt him as though it had been a blow.</p>
<p class="footnote">
<SPAN name="Footnote_1_3" id="Footnote_1_3"></SPAN><SPAN href="#FNanchor_1_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></SPAN> Such as is worn by schoolgirls and girl
students.—TV.]</p>
<h4>III</h4>
<p>All Snapper’s doggy nature expanded. He had now a name, at the sound of
which he rushed headlong from the green depths of the garden; he belonged to
people, and could serve them. What more did a dog need to make him happy!</p>
<p>Being accustomed to the moderation induced by years of a vagrant, hungry life,
he ate but little, but that little changed him out of recognition. His long
coat, which formerly had hung in foxy dry tufts on his back and on his belly,
which had been covered eternally with dried mud, now became clean, and grew
black, and became as glossy as velvet. And when he, having nothing better to
do, would run to the gates and stand on the threshold, looking up and down the
street with a dignified air, no one ever took it into his head to tease him or
throw stones at him.</p>
<p>But such pride and independence he could enjoy only to himself. Fear had not as
yet been wholly evaporated from his heart by the fire of caresses, and so every
time people appeared, or approached him, he hid himself expecting a beating.
And still for a long time every caress came to him as a surprise, and a wonder,
which he could neither understand, nor respond to. He did not know how to
receive caresses. Other dogs could stand and walk about on their hind legs and
even smile, and thus express their feelings, but he did not know how.</p>
<p>The one only thing that Snapper was able to do was to roll on his back, shut
his eyes, and whimper gently. But this was insufficient, it could not express
his delight, his thankfulness and love. By a sudden inspiration, however,
Snapper began to do something, which maybe he had seen done by other dogs, but
had long since forgotten. He turned absurd somersaults, leapt awkwardly, and
ran after his tail; and his body, which had been always so supple and active,
became stiff, ridiculous, and pitiful.</p>
<p>“Mamma! children! look, Snapper is performing,” cried Lelya, and
choking with laughter, said: “Once more, Snapper, once more. That’s
right!”</p>
<p>And they gathered together and laughed, and Snapper kept on twisting round, and
turning somersaults and falling, and no one saw the strange entreating look in
his eyes. And as formerly they used to howl and shout at the dog to see his
despairing fear, so now they caressed him on purpose to excite in him an
ebullition of love, so infinitely laughable in its awkward, absurd
manifestations. Hardly an hour passed but some one of the half-grown-ups or the
children would cry:</p>
<p>“Now then, Snapper dear, perform!”</p>
<p>And Snapper would twist about, turn somersaults, and fall, amid merry,
irrepressible laughter. They praised him to his face and behind his back, and
lamented only one thing, viz., that he would not show off his tricks before
strangers, who came to visit, but would run away into the garden, or hide
himself under the verandah.</p>
<p>Gradually Snapper became accustomed to not being obliged to trouble himself
about his food, since at the appointed hour the cook would give him scraps and
bones, while he confidently and quietly lay in his place under the verandah,
and even sought and asked for caresses. And he grew heavy: he seldom ran away
from the bungalow, and when the little children called him to go with them to
the forest, he would wag an evasive tail, and disappear unseen. But all the
same at night his bark would be loud and wakeful as ever.</p>
<h4>IV</h4>
<p>Autumn began to glow with yellow fires, and the sky to weep with heavy rain,
and the bungalows became quickly empty, and silent, as though the incessant
rain and wind had extinguished them one by one, like candles.</p>
<p>“What are we to do with Snapper?” asked Lelya, with hesitation. She
was sitting embracing her knees and looking sorrowfully out of the window, down
which were rolling glistening drops of rain.</p>
<p>“What a position you’re in, Lelya; that’s not the way to
sit!” said her mother, and added: “Snapper must be left behind,
poor fellow.”</p>
<p>“That’s—a—pity,” said Lelya lingeringly.</p>
<p>“But what can one do? We have no courtyard at home, and we can’t
keep him in the house, that you must very well understand.”</p>
<p>“It’s—a—pity,” repeated Lelya, ready to cry. Her
dark brows were raised, like a swallow’s wings, and her pretty little
nose puckered piteously, when her mother said:</p>
<p>“The Dogayevs offered me a puppy some time ago. They say that it is very
well bred, and ready trained. Do you see? But this is only a yard-dog.”</p>
<p>“A—pity,” repeated Lelya, but she did not cry.</p>
<p>Once, more strangers arrived, and wagons creaked, and the floors groaned
beneath heavy footsteps, but there was less talk, and no laughter was heard at
all. Terrified by the strange people, and dimly prescient of calamity, Snapper
fled to the extreme end of the garden, and thence through the thinning bushes
gazed unceasingly at that corner of the verandah which was open to his view,
and at the figures in red shirts which were moving about on it.</p>
<p>“You there! my poor Snapper,” said Lelya as she came out. She was
already dressed for the journey in the same cinnamon skirt, out of which
Snapper had torn a piece, and a black jacket. “Come along!”</p>
<p>And they went out into the road. The rain kept coming and going, and the whole
expanse between the blackened earth and the sky was full of clubbed,
swiftly-moving clouds. From below it could be seen how heavy they were,
impenetrable to the light on account of the water which saturated them, and how
weary the sun must be behind that solid wall.</p>
<p>To the left of the road stretched the darkened stubble field, and only on the
near hummocky horizon short uneven trees and shrubs appeared in lonesome
patches. In front, not far off, was the barrier, and near it a wine-shop with
red iron roof, and by it was a group of people teasing the village idiot
Ilyusha.</p>
<p>“Give us a ha’penny,” snuffled the idiot in a drawling voice,
and evil, jeering voices replied all together:</p>
<p>“Will you chop up some wood?”</p>
<p>Ilyusha reviled foully and cynically, and the others laughed without mirth. A
sunray broke through, yellow and anaemic, as though the sun were hopelessly
sick; and the foggy Autumn distance became wider, and more melancholy.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Snapper!” Lelya gently let fall the words, and
went back without looking round. It was not till she reached the station that
she remembered that she had not said good-bye to Snapper.</p>
<p>Snapper long followed the track of the people as they went away, he ran as far
as the station, and wet through and muddy, returned to the bungalow. There he
performed one more new trick, which no one, however, was there to see. For the
first time he went on to the verandah, stood on his hind legs, looked in at the
glass door, and even scratched at it. But the rooms were all empty, and no one
answered him.</p>
<p>A violent rain poured down, and on all sides the darkness of the long Autumn
night began to close in. Quickly and dully it filled the empty bungalow:
noiselessly it crept out from the shrubs and in company with the rain, poured
down from the uninviting sky. On the verandah, from which the awning had been
taken away, and which for that reason looked like a broad and unknown waste,
the light had long been in conflict with the darkness, and mournfully illumined
the marks of dirty feet; but soon it gave in.</p>
<p>Night had come on.</p>
<p>When there was no longer any doubt that the night was upon him, the dog began
to howl in loud complaint. With a note resonant, and sharp as despair, that
howl broke into the monotonous, sullenly persistent sound of the rain, rending
the darkness, and then dying down was carried over the dark naked fields.</p>
<p>The dog howled—regularly, persistently, desperately, soberly—and to
any one who heard that howling it seemed as though the impenetrable dark night
itself were groaning and longing for the light, and he would wish himself with
his wife by his warm fireside.</p>
<p>The dog howled.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap04"></SPAN>THE LIE</h3>
<h4>I</h4>
<p>“You lie! I know you lie!”</p>
<p>“What are you shouting for? Is it necessary that every one should hear
us?”</p>
<p>And here again she lied, for I had not shouted, but spoken in the quietest
voice, holding her hand and speaking quite gently while that venomous word
“lie” hissed like a little serpent.</p>
<p>“I love you,” she continued, “and you ought to believe me.
Does not this convince you?”</p>
<p>And she kissed me. But when I was about to take hold of her hand and press
it—she was already gone. She left the semi-dark corridor, and I followed
her once more to the place where a gay party was just coming to an end. How did
I know where it was? She had told me that I might go there, and I went there
and watched the dancing all the night through. No one came near me, or spoke to
me, I was a stranger to all, and sat in the corner near the band. Pointed
straight at me was the mouth of a great brass instrument, through which some
one hidden in the depths of it kept bellowing, and every minute or so would
give a rude staccato laugh: “Ho! ho! ho!”</p>
<p>From time to time a scented white cloud would come close to me. It was she, I
knew not how she managed to caress me without being observed, but for one short
little second her shoulder would press mine, and for one short little second I
would lower my eyes and see a white neck in the opening of a white dress. And
when I raised my eyes I saw a profile as white, severe, and truthful as that of
a pensive angel on the tomb of the long-forgotten dead. And I saw her eyes.
They were large, greedy of the light, beautiful and calm. From their blue-white
setting the pupils shone black, and the more I looked at them the blacker they
seemed, and the more unfathomable their depths. Maybe I looked at them for so
short a time that my heart failed to make the slightest impression, but
certainly never did I understand so profoundly and terribly the meaning of
Infinity, nor ever realised it with such force. I felt in fear and pain that my
very life was passing out in a slender ray into her eyes, until I became a
stranger to myself—desolated, speechless, almost dead. Then she would
leave me, taking my life with her, and dance again with a certain tall,
haughty, but handsome partner of hers. I studied his every
characteristic—the shape of his shoes, the width of his rather high
shoulders, the rhythmic sway of one of his locks, which separated itself from
the rest, while with his indifferent, unseeing glance he, as it were, crushed
me against the wall, and I felt myself as flat and lifeless to look at as the
wall itself.</p>
<p>When they began to extinguish the lights, I went up to her and said:</p>
<p>“It is time to go. I will accompany you.”</p>
<p>But she expressed surprise.</p>
<p>“But certainly I am going with him,” and she pointed to the tall,
handsome man, who was not looking at us. She led me out into an empty room and
kissed me.</p>
<p>“You lie,” I said very softly.</p>
<p>“We shall meet again to-morrow. You must come,” was her answer.</p>
<p>When I drove home, the green frosty dawn was looking out from behind the high
roofs. In the whole street there were only we two, the sledge-driver and I. He
sat with bent head and wrapped-up face, and I sat behind him wrapped up to the
very eyes. The sledge-driver had his thoughts, and I had mine, and there behind
the thick walls thousands of people were sleeping, and they had their own
dreams and thoughts. I thought of her, and of how she lied. I thought of death,
and it seemed to me that those dimly-lightened walls had already looked upon my
death, and that was why they were so cold and upright. I know not what the
thoughts of the sledge-driver may have been, neither do I know of what those
hidden by the walls were dreaming. But then, neither did they know my thoughts
and reveries.</p>
<p>And so we drove on through the long and straight streets, and the dawn rose
from behind the roofs, and all around was motionless and white. A cold scented
cloud came close to me, and straight into my ear some one unseen laughed:</p>
<p>“Ho! ho! ho!”</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>She had lied. She did not come, and I waited for her in vain. The grey,
uniform, frozen semi-darkness descended from the lightless sky, and I was not
conscious of when the twilight passed into evening, and when the evening passed
into night—to me it was all one long night. I kept walking backwards and
forwards with the same even, measured steps of hope deferred. I did not come
close up to the tall house, where my beloved dwelt, nor to its glazed door
which shone yellow at the end of the iron covered way, but I walked on the
opposite side of the street with the same measured strides—backwards and
forwards, backwards and forwards. In going forward I did not take my eye off
the glazed door, and when I turned back I stopped frequently and turned my head
round, and then the snow pricked my face with its sharp needles. And so long
were those sharp cold needles that they penetrated to my very heart, and
pierced it with grief and anger at my useless waiting. The cold wind blew
uninterruptedly from the bright north to the dark south, and whistled playfully
on the icy roofs, and rebounding cut my face with sharp little snow-flakes, and
softly tapped the glasses of the empty lanterns, in which the lonely yellow
flame, shivering with cold, bent to the draught. And I felt sorry for the
lonely flame which lived only by night, and I thought to myself, when I go away
all life will end in this street, and only the snowflakes will fly through the
empty space; but still the yellow flame will continue to shiver and bend in
loneliness and cold.</p>
<p>I waited for her, but she came not. And it seemed to me that the lonely flame
and I were like one another, only that my lamp was not empty, for in that void,
which I kept measuring with my strides, there did sometimes appear people. They
grew up unheard behind my back, big and dark; they passed me, and like ghosts
suddenly disappeared round the corner of the white building. Then again they
would come out from round the corner, come up alongside of me and then
gradually melt away in the great distance, obscured by the silently falling
snow. Muffled up, formless, silent, they were so like to one another and to
myself that it seemed as if scores of people were walking backwards and
forwards and waiting, as I was, shivering and silent, and were thinking their
own enigmatic sad thoughts.</p>
<p>I waited for her, but she came not. I know not why I did not cry out and weep
for pain. I know not why I laughed and was glad, and crooked my fingers like
claws, as though I held in them that little venomous thing which kept hissing
like a snake: a lie! It wriggled in my hands, and bit my heart, and my head
reeled with its poison. Everything was a lie! The boundary line between the
future and the present, the present and the past, vanished. The boundary line
between the time when I did not yet exist, and the time when I began to be,
vanished, and I thought that I must have always been alive, or else never have
lived at all. And always, before I lived and when I began to live, she had
ruled over me, and I felt it strange that she should have a name and a body,
and that her existence should have a beginning and an end. She had no name, she
was always the one that lies, that makes eternally to wait, and never comes.
And I knew not why, but I laughed, and the sharp needles pierced my heart, and
right into my ear some one unseen laughed:</p>
<p>“Ho! ho! ho!”</p>
<p>Opening my eyes I looked at the lighted windows of the lofty house, and they
quietly said to me in their blue and red language:</p>
<p>“Thou art deceived by her. At this very moment whilst thou art wandering,
waiting, and suffering, she, all bright, lovely, and treacherous, is there,
listening to the whispers of that tall, handsome man, who despises thee. If
thou wert to break in there and kill her, thou wouldst be doing a good deed,
for thou wouldst slay a lie.”</p>
<p>I gripped the knife I held in my hand tighter, and answered laughingly:
“Yes, I will kill her.”</p>
<p>But the windows gazed at me mournfully, and added sadly: “Thou wilt never
kill her. Never! because the weapon thou holdest in thy hand is as much a lie
as are her kisses.”</p>
<p>The silent shadows of my fellow-watchers had disappeared long ago, and I was
left alone in the cold void, I—and the lonely tongues of fire shivering
with cold and despair. The clock in the neighbouring church-tower began to
strike, and its dismal metallic sound trembled and wept, flying away into the
void, and being lost in the maze of silently whirling snowflakes. I began to
count the strokes, and went into a fit of laughter. The clock struck 15! The
belfry was old, and so, too, was the clock, and although it indicated the right
time, it struck spasmodically, sometimes so often that the grey, ancient
bell-ringer had to clamber up and stop the convulsive strokes of the hammer
with his hand. For whom did those senilely tremulous, melancholy sounds, which
were embraced and throttled by the frosty darkness, tell a lie? So pitiable and
inept was that useless lie.</p>
<p>With the last lying sounds of the clock the glazed door slammed, and a tall man
made his way down the steps.</p>
<p>I saw only his back, but I recognized it as I had seen it only last evening,
proud and contemptuous. I recognized his walk, and it was lighter and more
confident than in the evening: thus had I often left that door. He walked, as
those do, whom the lying lips of a woman have just kissed.</p>
<h4>III</h4>
<p>I threatened and entreated, grinding my teeth:</p>
<p>“Tell me the truth!”</p>
<p>But with a face cold as snow, while from beneath her brows, lifted in surprise,
her dark, inscrutable eyes shone passionless and mysterious as ever, she
assured me:</p>
<p>“But I am not lying to you.”</p>
<p>She knew that I could not prove her lie, and that all my heavy massive
structure of torturing thought would crumble at one word from her, even one
lying word. I waited for it—and it came forth from her lips, sparkling on
the surface with the colours of truth, but dark in its innermost depths:</p>
<p>“I love thee! Am not I all thine?”</p>
<p>We were far from the town, and the snow-clad plain looked in at the dark
windows. Upon it was darkness, and around it was darkness, gross, motionless,
silent, but the plain shone with its own latent coruscation, like the face of a
corpse in the dark. In the over-heated room only one candle was burning, and on
its reddening flame there appeared the white reflection of the deathlike plain.</p>
<p>“However sad the truth may be, I want to know it. Maybe I shall die when
I know it, but death rather than ignorance of the truth. In your kisses and
embraces I feel a lie. In your eyes I see it. Tell me the truth and I will
leave you forever,” said I.</p>
<p>But she was silent. Her coldly searching look penetrated my inmost depths, and
drawing out my soul, regarded it with strange curiosity.</p>
<p>And I cried: “Answer, or I will kill you!”</p>
<p>“Yes, do!” she quietly replied; “sometimes life is so
wearisome. But the truth is not to be extracted by threat.”</p>
<p>And then I knelt to her. Clasping her hand I wept, and prayed for pity and the
truth.</p>
<p>“Poor fellow!” said she, putting her hand on my head, “poor
fellow!”</p>
<p>“Pity me,” I prayed, “I want so much to know the
truth.”</p>
<p>And as I looked at her pure forehead, I thought that truth must be there behind
that slender barrier. And I madly wished to smash the skull to get at the
truth. There, too, behind a white bosom beat a heart, and I madly wished to
tear her bosom with my nails, to see but for once an unveiled human heart. And
the pointed, motionless flames of the expiring candle burnt yellow—and
the walls grew dark and seemed farther apart—and it felt so sad, so
lonely, so eery.</p>
<p>“Poor fellow!” she said. “Poor fellow!”</p>
<p>And the yellow flame of the candle shivered spasmodically, burnt low, and
became blue. Then it went out—and darkness enveloped us. I could not see
her face, nor her eyes, for her arms embraced my head—and I no longer
felt the lie. Closing my eyes, I neither thought nor lived, but only absorbed
the touch of her hands, and it seemed to me true. And in the darkness she
whispered in a strangely fearsome voice:</p>
<p>“Put your arms round me—I’m afraid.”</p>
<p>Again there was silence, and again the gentle whisper fraught with fear!</p>
<p>“You desire the truth—but do I know it myself? And oh! don’t
I wish I did? Take care of me; oh! I’m so frightened!”</p>
<p>I opened my eyes. The paling darkness of the room fled in fear from the lofty
windows, and gathering near the walls hid itself in the corners. But through
the windows there silently looked in a something huge, deadly-white. It seemed
as though some one’s dead eyes were searching for us, and enveloping us
in their icy gaze. Presently we pressed close together, while she whispered:</p>
<p>“Oh! I am so frightened!”</p>
<h4>IV</h4>
<p>I killed her. I killed her, and when she lay a flat, lifeless heap by the
window, beyond which shone the dead-white plain, I put my foot on her corpse,
and burst into a fit of laughter. It was not the laugh of a madman; oh, no! I
laughed because my bosom heaved lightly and evenly, and within it all was
cheerful, peaceful, and void, and because from my heart had fallen the worm
which had been gnawing it. And bending down I looked into her dead eyes. Great,
greedy of the light, they remained open, and were like the eyes of a wax
doll—so round and dull were they, as though covered with mica. I was able
to touch them with my fingers, open and shut them, and I was not afraid,
because in those black, inscrutable pupils there lived no longer that demon of
lying and doubt, which so long, so greedily, had sucked my blood.</p>
<p>When they arrested me I laughed. And this seemed terrible and wild to those who
seized me. Some of them turned away from me in disgust, and went aside; others
advanced threateningly straight towards me, with condemnation on their lips,
but when my bright, cheerful glance met their eyes, their faces blanched, and
their feet became rooted to the ground.</p>
<p>“Mad!” they said, and it seemed to me that they found comfort in
the word, because it helped to solve the enigma of how I could love and yet
kill the beloved—and laugh. One of them only, a man of full habit and
sanguine temperament, called me by another name, which I felt as a blow, and
which extinguished the light in my eyes.</p>
<p>“Poor man!” said he in compassion, although devoid of
anger—for he was stout and cheerful. “Poor fellow!”</p>
<p>“Don’t!” cried I. “Don’t call me that!”</p>
<p>I know not why I threw myself upon him. Indeed, I had no desire to kill him, or
even to touch him; but all these cowed people who looked on me as a madman and
a villain, were all the more frightened, and cried out so that it seemed to me
again quite ludicrous.</p>
<p>When they were leading me out of the room where the corpse lay, I repeated
loudly and persistently, looking at the stout, cheerful man:</p>
<p>“I am happy, happy!”</p>
<p>And that was the truth.</p>
<h4>V</h4>
<p>Once, when I was a child, I saw in a menagerie a panther, which struck my
imagination and for long held my thoughts captive. It was not like the other
wild beasts, which dozed without thought or angrily gazed at the visitors. It
walked from corner to corner, in one and the same line, with mathematical
precision, each time turning on exactly the same spot, each time grazing with
its tawny side one and the same metal bar of the cage. Its sharp, ravenous head
was bent down, and its eyes looked straight before it, never once turning
aside. For whole days a noisily chattering crowd trooped before its cage, but
it kept up its tramp, and never once turned an eye on the spectators. A few of
the crowd laughed, but the majority looked seriously, even sadly, at that
living picture of heavy, hopeless brooding, and went away with a sigh. And as
they retired, they cast once more round at her a doubting, inquiring glance and
sighed—as though there was something in common between their own lot,
free as they were, and that of the unhappy, eager wild beast. And when later on
I was grown up, and people, or books, spoke to me of eternity, I called to mind
the panther, and it seemed to me that I knew eternity and its pains.</p>
<p>Such a panther did I become in my stone cage. I walked and thought. I walked in
one line right across my cage from corner to corner, and along one short line
travelled my thoughts, so heavy that it seemed that my shoulders carried not a
head, but a whole world. But it consisted of but one word, but what an immense,
what a torturing, what an ominous word it was.</p>
<p>“Lie!” that was the word.</p>
<p>Once more it crept forth hissing from all the corners, and twined itself about
my soul; but it had ceased to be a little snake, it had developed into a great,
glittering, fierce serpent. It bit me, and stifled me in its iron coils, and
when I began to cry out with pain, as though my whole bosom were swarming with
reptiles, I could only utter that abominable, hissing, serpent-like sound:
“Lie!”</p>
<p>And as I walked, and thought, the grey level asphalt of the floor changed
before my eyes into a grey, transparent abyss. My feet ceased to feel the touch
of the floor, and I seemed to be soaring at a limitless height above the fog
and mist. And when my bosom gave forth its hissing groan, thence—from
below—from under that rarifying, but still impenetrable shroud, there
slowly issued a terrible echo. So slow and dull was it, as though it were
passing through a thousand years. And every now and then, as the fog lifted,
the sound became less loud, and I understood that there—below—it
was still whistling like a wind, that tears down the trees, while it reached my
ears in a short, ominous whisper:</p>
<p>“Lie!”</p>
<p>This mean whisper worked me up into a rage, and I stamped on the floor and
cried:</p>
<p>“There is no lie! I killed the lie.”</p>
<p>Then I purposely turned aside, for I knew what it would reply. And it did reply
slowly from the depths of the bottomless abyss:</p>
<p>“Lie!”</p>
<p>The fact is, as you perceive, that I had made a grievous mistake. I had killed
the woman, but made the lie immortal. Kill not a woman till you have, by
prayer, by fire, and torture, torn from her soul the truth!</p>
<p>So thought I, and continued my endless tramp from corner to corner of the cell.</p>
<h4>VI</h4>
<p>Dark and terrible is the place to which she carried the truth, and the
lie—and I am going thither. At the very throne of Satan I shall overtake
her, and falling on my knees will weep; and cry:</p>
<p>“Tell me the truth!”</p>
<p>But God! This is also a lie. There, there is darkness, there is the void of
ages and of infinity, and there she is not—she is nowhere. But the lie
remains, it is immortal. I feel it in every atom of the air, and when I
breathe, it enters my bosom with a hissing, and then rends it—yes, rends!</p>
<p>Oh! what madness it is—to be man and to seek the truth! What pain!</p>
<p>Help! Help!</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap05"></SPAN>AN ORIGINAL</h3>
<p>A moment of silence had fallen on the company and amid the clatter of knives on
plates, and the confused talk at distant tables, the froufrou of a dress, and
the creaking of the floor under the brisk steps of the waiters, some
one’s quiet, meek voice was heard:</p>
<p>“But I <i>do</i> love negresses.”</p>
<p>Anton Ivanovich coughed over himself the vodka he was in the act of swallowing,
and a waiter, who was collecting the plates, cast a glance of indiscriminate
curiosity from under his brows. All turned with surprise to the speaker, and
then for the first time took notice of the irregular little face with its red
moustache, the ends of which were wet with vodka and soup, of the two dull,
colourless little eyes, and of the carefully brushed head of Semyon Vasilyevich
Kotel’nikov. For five years they had been in the same service as
Kotel’nikov, every day they had said “How do you do?” and
“Good-bye” to him, and talked to him about something or other; on
the 20th of every month, after receiving their stipends, they had dined at the
same restaurant as Kotel’nikov, as they were doing to-day; and now for
the first time they were really conscious of his presence. They perceived him,
and were astonished. It seemed that Semyon Vasilyevich was not so bad looking
after all, if you did not count the moustache, and the freckles which were like
splashes of mud from a rubber tyre, that he was decently well dressed, and his
tall white collar, though a paper one, was at all events clean.</p>
<p>Anton Ivanovich, head of the office, coughing and still red with the exertion,
looked at the confused Semyon Vasilyevich attentively, with curiosity in his
prominent eyes, and still choking, asked with emphasis:</p>
<p>“So you, Semyon, ah!—I beg your pardon, I forget.”</p>
<p>“Semyon Vasilyevich,” Kotel’nikov reminded him, pronouncing
it, not “Vasilich,” but fully “Vasilyevich”; and this
pronunciation was pleasing to all as expressive of a feeling of worth and
self-respect.</p>
<p>“So you, Semyon Vasilyevich—love negresses?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I do, indeed.”</p>
<p>And his voice, although rather weak, and, so to speak, somewhat wrinkled like a
shrivelled turnip, was nevertheless pleasant. Anton Ivanovich pursed up his
lower lip so that his grey moustache pressed against the tip of his red pitted
nose, took in all the officials with his rounded eyes, and after an unavoidable
pause emitted a fat unctuous laugh.</p>
<p>“Ha, ha, ha! He loves negresses! Ha, ha, ha!”</p>
<p>And all laughed in a friendly manner, even the stout dour Polzikov, who as a
rule knew not how to laugh, gave a sickly neigh: “Hee, hee! hee!”</p>
<p>Semyon Vasilyevich laughed also, with a low staccato laugh, like a parched pea;
he blushed with pleasure, but at the same time was rather afraid that some
unpleasantness might arise.</p>
<p>“Are you really serious?” asked Anton Ivanovich, when he had done
laughing.</p>
<p>“Perfectly serious, sir. In them, those black women, there is something
so ardent, or—so to speak—<i>exotic</i>.”</p>
<p>“Exotic?”</p>
<p>And once more all spluttered with laughter. But, though they laughed, they
considered Semyon Vasilyevich quite a clever and educated man, since he knew
such a rare word as “exotic.” Then they began to argue with warmth
that it was impossible for any one to love a negress: they were black and
greasy, they had such impossible thick lips, and smelt too strong of musk.</p>
<p>“But I love them,” modestly persisted Semyon Vasilyevich.</p>
<p>“Every one to his choice,” said Anton Ivanovich with decision;
“but I would rather fall in love with a nanny-goat than with one of those
blacks.”</p>
<p>But all were pleased that among them in the person of one of their own comrades
there was to be found such an original person, that he loved negresses, and to
honour the occasion they ordered another half-dozen of beer, and began to look
with a certain contempt on the neighbouring tables, at which there sat no
original people. They began to talk louder and with more freedom, and Semyon
Vasilyevich left off striking matches for his cigarette, but waited till the
attendant offered him a light. When the beer was all drunk up, and they had
ordered more, the stout Polzikov looked sternly at Semyon Vasilyevich, and said
reproachfully:</p>
<p>“How is it, Mr. Kotel’nikov, that we have never got beyond the
“you’ stage? Do not we serve in the same office? We must drink to
Comradeship, since you are such an excellent fellow.”</p>
<p>“Certainly, I shall be delighted,” Semyon Vasilyevich consented. He
beamed now with delight that at last they recognized and appreciated him, and
then again feared somehow that they would thrash him; at all events he kept his
arm across his breast, to be ready, in case of need, to protect his face and
well-brushed hair. After Polzikov he drank to Comradeship with Troitzky and
Novosyolov and the rest, and kissed them so heartily that his lips became
swollen. Anton Ivanovich did not offer to drink to Comradeship, but politely
remarked:</p>
<p>“When you are passing our way, please call. Although you love negresses,
still I have daughters, and it will interest them to see you. So you are really
in earnest?”</p>
<p>Semyon Vasilyevich bowed, and although he was a bit unsteady from the amount of
beer he had drunk, still all remarked that his manners were good. When Anton
Ivanovich went away they were still drinking, and afterwards went noisily, the
whole company, on to the Nevsky, where they gave way to none, but made all give
way to them. Semyon Vasilyevich walked in the middle, arm in arm with Troitzky
and the sombre Polzikov, and explained to them:</p>
<p>“Nay, friend Kostya, you don’t understand the matter. In negresses
there is something peculiar, something, so to speak, <i>exotic</i>.”</p>
<p>“And I don’t want to understand! They are
black—black—nothing else.”</p>
<p>“Nay, friend Kostya, this is a matter requiring taste. Negresses
are——”</p>
<p>Until that day Semyon Vasilyevich had never even thought of negresses, and
could not more exactly define what there was so desirable about them, so he
repeated:</p>
<p>“My friend, they are ardent.”</p>
<p>“Now, then, Kostya, what are you quarrelling about?” angrily asked
Troitzky, as he tripped up, and sploshed in a big swapped galoche. “You
are a wonderful fellow for arguing; you never agree with any one. Of course, he
knows why he loves negresses. Drive on, Senya!<SPAN name="FNanchor_1_4" id="FNanchor_1_4"></SPAN><SPAN href="#Footnote_1_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</SPAN> love
away! don’t listen to fools! You’re a brave fellow; we’ll get
up a scandal before long. Lord! what a devil he is!”</p>
<p>“Black—black—nothing more,” Polzikov morosely insisted.</p>
<p>“Nay, Kostya, you don’t understand the matter,” Semyon
Vasilyevich mildly declared; and so they went on, rolling and racketting,
quarrelling, and jostling one another, but thoroughly contented.</p>
<p>At the end of a week the whole Department knew that the civil servant,
Kotel’nikov, was very fond of negresses. By the end of a month the
porters of the neighbouring houses, the petitioners, and the policeman on duty
at the corner, knew it too. The ladies who worked the typewriters took to
looking at Semyon Vasilyevich from the adjoining rooms; but he sat quiet and
modest, and still was not sure whether he would be praised or thrashed. Already
he had been at an evening party at Anton Ivanovich’s, had drunk tea with
cherry jam upon a new damask table-cloth, and had explained that about
negresses there was something <i>exotic.</i> The ladies looked confused, but
the hostess’s daughter Nastenka, who had read novels, blinked her
shortsighted eyes, and, adjusting her curls, asked:</p>
<p>“But, why?”</p>
<p>And all were very much pleased; but when the interesting guest had departed
they spoke of him with the greatest compassion, and Nastenka him the victim of
a pernicious passion.</p>
<p>Semyon Vasilyevich had been taken with Nastenka; but since he loved only
negresses, he determined not to show his liking, and was cold and stand-offish,
though strictly polite. And all the way home he thought of negresses, how black
and greasy and objectionable they were, and at the thought of kissing one of
them, he felt a sort of heart-burn, and was inclined to weep quietly and to
write to his mother in the country to come to him. But in the night he overcame
this attack of pusillanimity, and when he appeared at the office in the
morning, by his whole appearance, by his red tie, and by the mysterious
expression of his face, it was abundantly clear that this man was very fond
indeed of negresses.</p>
<p>Soon after this, Anton Ivanovich, who took an interest in his fate, introduced
him to a theatrical reporter; the reporter took him and treated him at a
<i>café-chantant,</i> where he presented him to the Manager, Monsieur Jacques
Ducquelau.</p>
<p>“Here is a gentleman,” said the reporter, as he brought forward the
modestly bowing Semyon Vasilyevich, “here is a gentleman who is much
enamoured of negresses; no one but negresses. He is an extraordinary original.
Give him encouragement, Jacques Ivanovich, for of such people be not
encouraged, who should be? This, Jacques Ivanovich, is a public matter.”</p>
<p>The reporter slapped Semyon Vasilyevich patronizingly on his narrow back, in
its creaseless, tightly-fitting coat, and the Manager, a Frenchman, with a
fierce black moustache, cast his eyes up to the sky, as though looking for
something there, made a gesture of decision, and transfixing the still bowing
civil servant with his black eyes, said:</p>
<p>“Negresses! Excellent! I have here at present three beautiful
negresses.”</p>
<p>Semyon Vasilyevich blanched slightly, but M. Jacques was very fond of his own
establishment, and took no notice. The reporter requested: “Give him a
free ticket, Jacques Ivanovich; a season.”</p>
<p>From that evening Semyon Vasilyevich began to pay court to a negress, Miss
Korraito, the whites of whose eyes were like saucers, with pupils no larger
than sloes. And when she turned on all this battery and made eyes at him, his
feet turned cold, and, as he bowed hastily, his well-pomatumed head glistened
under the electric light, and he thought with grief of his poor mother who
lived in the country.</p>
<p>Of Russian Miss Korraito understood not a word, but happily they found plenty
of willing interpreters, who took to heart the interests of the young couple,
and accurately transmitted to Semyon Vasilyevich the gushing exclamations of
the dusky fair.</p>
<p>“She says: “She has never seen such a kind, handsome
gentleman.” Is not that right, Miss?”</p>
<p>Miss Korraito would incline her head again and again, show her teeth, which
were as wide as the keys of a piano, and roll her saucers round on every side.
And Semyon Vasilyevich would unconsciously incline his head too, and mutter:</p>
<p>“Tell her, please, that there is something <i>exotic</i> about
negresses.”</p>
<p>And all were satisfied. When Semyon Vasilyevich for the first time kissed the
hand of the negress, there assembled to see it, not only all the
<i>artistes</i>, but many of the spectators, and one in particular, an old
merchant, Bogdan Kornyeich Seliverstov, burst into tears from tenderness and
patriotic feelings. Then they drank champagne. For two days Semyon Vasilyevich
suffered from a painful palpitation of the heart, and did not go to the office.
Several times he began a letter, “Dear Mamma,” but he was too weak
to finish it. When he went back to the office they invited him to the private
room of his Excellency. Semyon Vasilyevich smoothed with a comb his hair, which
had begun to stick up during his illness, arranged the dark ends of his
moustache, so as to speak more clearly, and collapsing with dread, went in.</p>
<p>“Look here, is it true, what they tell me, that you——”
His Excellency hesitated, “is it true that you love negresses?”</p>
<p>“Quite true, your Excellency.”</p>
<p>The general concentrated his gaze on his poll, on the smooth centre of which
two thin locks obstinately stuck up and trembled, and with some surprise, but
at the same time with approval, asked:</p>
<p>“But why do you love them?”</p>
<p>“I cannot say, your Excellency,” replied Semyon Vasilyevich, whose
courage had evaporated.</p>
<p>“What do you mean by? “I can’t say’? Who, then, can
say? But don’t be embarrassed, my dear sir. I like my subordinates to
show self-reliance and initiative in general, provided, of course, they do not
exceed certain legal bounds. Tell me candidly, as though you were talking to
your father, why do you love negresses?”</p>
<p>“There is in them, your Excellency, something <i>exotic</i>.”</p>
<p>That same evening at the general’s whist table at the English Club, his
Excellency, when he had dealt the cards with his puffy white hands, remarked
with assumed carelessness:</p>
<p>“There’s in my office an official who is terribly enamoured of
negresses. An ordinary clerk, if you please.”</p>
<p>The other three generals were jealous: each of them had at his office many
officials, but they were the most ordinary, colourless, un-original people
imaginable, of whom nothing could be said.</p>
<p>The choleric Anaton Petrovich considered long, scored only one out of a certain
four, and after the next deal said:</p>
<p>“I too—I have a subordinate, whose beard is half black and half
red.”</p>
<p>But all understood that the victory was on the side of his Excellency; the
subordinate mentioned was in no respect responsible for the fact that his beard
was half black and half red, and probably was not even pleased to have it so;
while the official in point, independently and of his own free will, loved
negresses; and such a predilection undoubtedly testified to his originality of
taste. But his Excellency, as though he remarked nothing, continued:</p>
<p>“He affirms that in negresses there is something <i>exotic</i></p>
<p>The existence in the Second Department of an extraordinary original obtained
for it the most flattering popularity among official circles in the Capital,
and begat, as is always the case, many unsuccessful and pitiful imitators. A
certain grey-haired clerk in the Sixth Department, with a large family, who had
sat unremarked at his table for twenty-eight years, proclaimed publicly that he
could bark like a dog; and when they only laughed at him, and in all the rooms
began to bark, and grunt, and neigh, he was put out of countenance, and took to
a fortnight’s drink, forgetting even to send in a report of sickness, as
he had always done for the past twenty-eight years. Another official, a
youngish man, pretended to fall in love with the wife of the Chinese
Ambassador, and for some time attracted universal observation, and even
sympathy. But experienced eyes soon distinguished the pitiful, dishonest
pretence from the true originality, and the failure was contemptuously
consigned to the abyss of his former obscurity. There were other attempts of
the same kind, and among the officials in general there was remarked this year
a peculiar elation of spirit, and a long-hidden desire for originality seized
the youths of the service with particular severity, and in some cases even led
to tragic consequences. Thus one clerk, of good birth, being unable to invent
anything original, had the impudence to insult his superior, and was promptly
cashiered. Even against Semyon Vasilyevich there rose up enemies, who openly
affirmed that he knew nothing whatever about negresses. But as an answer to
them there appeared in one of the dailies an interview in which Semyon
Vasilyevich publicly declared, with the permission of his chief, that he loved
negresses because there was something <i>exotic</i> in them. And the star of
Semyon Vasilyevich shone out with a new, undimming light.</p>
<p>At Anton Ivanovich’s evenings he was now the most desirable guest, and
Nastenka more than once wept bitterly, so sorry was she for his ruined youth;
but he would sit proudly at the very middle of the table, and feeling himself
the cynosure of all eyes, put on a somewhat melancholy, but at the same time
exotic face. And to all, to Anton Ivanovich himself, to his guests, and even to
the deaf old woman who washed up the dirty things in the kitchen, it was a
pleasure to know that such an original man visited their house quite without
ceremony. But Semyon Vasilyevich went home and wept upon his pillow, because he
loved Nastenka exceedingly, and hated the damned Miss Korraito with all his
soul.</p>
<p>Before Easter there was a report that Semyon Vasilyevich was going to marry
Miss Korraito the negress, who for that reason would adopt Orthodoxy and leave
the service of M. Jacques Ducquelau, and that his Excellency himself would give
away the bride. Fellow civil-servants, petitioners, and porters congratulated
Semyon Vasilyevich; and he bowed, only not so low as before, but still more
politely, and his bald, polished head glistened in the rays of the spring
sunshine.</p>
<p>At the last evening party given by Anton Ivanovich before the wedding, he was a
positive hero; but Nastenka every half-hour or so ran off to her own rooms to
cry, and then so powdered herself, that the powder was scattered from her face
like flour from a millstone, and both her neighbours became correspondingly
whitened. At supper all congratulated the bridegroom and drank his health; but
Anton Ivanovich, as he took his leave of his guests, said:</p>
<p>“There is one interesting question, my friend, what colour will your
children be?”</p>
<p>“Striped,” glumly said Polzikov.</p>
<p>“How striped?” asked the guests in surprise. “Why, in this
way: one stripe white, and one black, then another white, and so on,”
Polzikov explained quite despondently, for he was sorry with all his heart for
his old friend.</p>
<p>“That’s impossible!” excitedly exclaimed Semyon Vasilyevich,
who had grown pale at the thought. But Nastenka, no longer able to contain
herself, burst out sobbing and ran out of the room, whereby she caused
universal confusion.</p>
<p>For two years Semyon Vasilyevich was the happiest of men, and all rejoiced when
they looked at him, and recalled his unusual fate. Once he was invited,
together with his spouse, to his Excellency’s; and on the birth of a boy
he received considerable assistance from the reserve fund, and soon after that
he was promoted, out of his turn, to be assistant secretary of the fourth
office of the department. And the child was born not striped, but only slightly
grey, or rather olive-coloured. Everywhere Semyon Vasilyevich talked of his
warm love for his wife and son; but he was never in a hurry to return home, and
when he did get there he was in no hurry to pull the bell-handle. But when
there met him on the threshold those teeth broad as piano-keys, and the white
saucers rolled, and when his smoothly brushed head was pressed against
something black, greasy, and smelling like musk, he felt quite faint with
grief, and thought of those happy people who had white wives and white
children.</p>
<p>“Dear!” said he submissively, and on the insistence of the happy
mother went to look at the baby. He hated that thick-lipped baby of a greyish
colour like asphalt, but he obediently nursed it, meditating in the depths of
his soul on the possibility of dropping it suddenly on the floor.</p>
<p>After long vacillation and hidden sighs he wrote to his mother in the country
about his marriage, and to his surprise received from her a most joyful answer.
She also was pleased at having such an original for her son, and that his
Excellency himself had given away the bride. But with regard to the colour, and
other disabilities of the bride, she expressed herself thus:</p>
<p>“Let her face be that of a sheep, if only her soul be human.”</p>
<p>At the end of two years Semyon Vasilyevich died of typhus fever. Before the end
he sent for the parish priest, who looked with curiosity on the quondam Miss
Korraito, stroked his full beard, and said meaningly, “N ... y ...
es!” But it was evident that he respected Semyon Vasilyevich for his
originality, although he looked on it as sinful.</p>
<p>When his reverence stooped down to the dying man, the latter gathered together
the remnants of his strength, and opened his mouth wide to cry:</p>
<p>“I hate that black devil!”</p>
<p>But he recalled his Excellency, and the help from the reserve fund, he recalled
the kindly Anton Ivanovich, and Nastenka, and looking at the black weeping
countenance, said softly:</p>
<p>“Father, I love negresses very much. In them there is something
<i>exotic</i>.”</p>
<p>With his last efforts he gave to his emaciated face the semblance of a happy
smile, and expired with it on his lips.</p>
<p>And the earth received him without emotion, not asking whether he loved
negresses or no, brought his body to corruption, mingled his bones with those
of other dead people, and annihilated every trace of the white paper-collar.</p>
<p>But the Second Department long cherished the memory of Semyon Vasilyevich, and
when the waiting petitioners began to grow weary, the porter would take them to
his room to smoke, and would tell them tales of the wonderful civil-servant who
was so awfully fond of negresses. And all, narrator and listeners, were
pleased.</p>
<p class="footnote">
<SPAN name="Footnote_1_4" id="Footnote_1_4"></SPAN><SPAN href="#FNanchor_1_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></SPAN> Short of Semyon.—<i>Tr.</i>]</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap06"></SPAN>PETKA AT THE BUNGALOW</h3>
<p>Osip Abramovich, the barber, arranged a dirty sheeting on his customer’s
chest, and tucking it into his collar, shouted abruptly in a sharp tone,
“Boy! water!”</p>
<p>The customer, examining his face in the glass with that sharpened intentness
and interest which is exhibited only at the barber’s, observed that
another pimple had appeared on his chin, and turning his eyes away in
dissatisfaction they fell straight on a thin little hand, which stretched out
from somewhere at the side, and put a tin of hot water down on the ledge below
the looking-glass. When he raised his eyes still higher, they caught the
strange and distorted looking reflection of the barber, and he noticed the
sharp threatening glance which he was casting down on the head of some one, and
the silent movements of his lips, caused by an inaudible but expressive
whisper. If the master himself was not doing the shaving but one of the
assistants, Prokopy or Mikhailo, then the whisper would become loud, and take
the form of a vague threat:</p>
<p>“Just you wait!”</p>
<p>This meant that the boy was not quick enough with the water, and that
punishment awaited him. “Serve ”m right too,” thought the
customer, bending his head down sideways, and contemplating the great moist
hand by the side of his nose, three fingers of which were spread out, while the
fore-finger and thumb, all sticky and smelly, gently touched cheek and chin as
the blunt razor, with a disagreeable grating noise, took off the lather, and
with it the stiff bristles of his beard.</p>
<p>At this barber’s shop, permeated with the oppressive smell of cheap
scents, full of tiresome flies and dirt, the customers were not very exacting.
They consisted of hall-porters, overseers, and sometimes minor officials, or
workmen, and often coarsely handsome but suspicious-looking fellows with ruddy
cheeks, slender moustaches, and insolent oleaginous eyes.</p>
<p>Close by was a quarter full of houses of cheap debauchery. They lorded it over
the whole neighbourhood, and gave to it a special character of something dirty,
disorderly and disquieting.</p>
<p>The boy, who was called out to most frequently, was named Petka, and was the
smallest of all who served in the establishment. The other boy Nikolka was his
elder by three years, and would soon develop into an assistant. Already when a
more than ordinarily humble customer looked in, and the assistants in the
absence of the master were too lazy to work, they would set Nikolka to cut his
hair, and laugh when he had to raise himself on tiptoe to see the back hair of
some fat <i>dvornik.</i> Sometimes the customer would be offended that his hair
was badly cut and utter a loud complaint, and then the assistants would scold
Nikolka, not seriously, but only to satisfy the cropped lout. But such cases
were not of frequent occurrence, and Nikolka gave himself the airs of a man; he
smoked cigarettes, spat through his teeth, used bad language, and even boasted
to Petka that he drank vodka; but there he probably lied. In company with the
assistants he would run to the neighbouring street to look on at a coarse
fight, and when he came back laughing with delight, Osip Abramovich would give
him a couple of smacks, one on each cheek.</p>
<p>Petka was only ten years old. He did not smoke, or drink vodka, or swear,
though he knew plenty of bad words, and in all these respects he envied his
companion. When there were no customers, and Prokopy, who usually had spent a
sleepless night somewhere or other, and in the daytime would drowsily stumble
about and throw himself into the dark corner behind the partition, and Mikhailo
was reading the <i>Police News</i>, and amongst the accounts of thefts and
robberies was looking out for the name of some regular customer, Petka and
Nikolka would chat together. The latter was kinder when the two were alone
together, and used to explain to the younger the meaning of the terms used to
describe the various styles of hair-cutting.</p>
<p>Sometimes they sat at the window, by the side of a half-length figure of a
female in wax with pink cheeks, staring glass eyes, and straight sparse
eyelashes, and looked out on the boulevard, where life had been stirring since
the early morning. The trees of the boulevard, powdered with dust, drooped
motionless under the merciless burning rays of the sun, and afforded an equally
grey, unrefreshing shade. On all the benches were seated men and women in
dirty, uncouth attire, without kerchiefs or hats, just as though they lived
there and had no other home. Whether the faces were indifferent, malignant, or
dissolute, on all alike was impressed the stamp of utter weariness and contempt
of their surroundings. Ofttimes a frowsy head would nod helplessly on a
shoulder, and the body would try to stretch itself out to sleep like a
third-class passenger after an unbroken journey of one thousand versts, but
there was nowhere to lie down. The park-keeper, in a bright blune uniform with
a cane in his hand, walked up and down the pathways, looking out that no one
lay down on the benches, or threw himself upon the grass, which, though parched
by the sun, was still so soft, so cool. The women, for the most part more
neatly dressed, and even with a hint at fashion, were seemingly all of one type
of countenance and of one age; although here and there might be found some old,
and others quite young, almost children. All of these talked with hoarse, harsh
voices; and scolded, embracing the men as simply as though they were alone on
the boulevard. Sometimes they would take a snack and a drop of vodka. It might
happen that a drunken man would beat an equally drunken woman. She would fall
down, and get up again, and fall down again, but no one would take her part.
Only the faces of the crowd as they gathered round the couple would light up
with some intelligence and animation, and wear a broader grin. But when the
blue-coated keeper drew near, they would listlessly disperse to their former
places. Only the ill-used woman would keep on weeping, uttering meaningless
oaths, with her rumpled hair covered with sand, and her semi-made bust looking
dirty and yellow in the morning light, cynically and piteously exposed. They
would put her on the bottom of a cab and drive her off with her head hanging
down, and swaying, as if she were dead.</p>
<p>Nikolka knew several of the men and women by name, and told Petka nasty stories
about them, and laughed showing his sharp teeth. And Petka admired his
knowledge and daring, and thought that some day he would be like him. But
meanwhile he wanted to be somewhere else. Wanted badly!</p>
<p>Petka’s days dragged on wonderfully monotonously, as like to one another
as two brothers. Summer and winter alike he saw the same mirrors, one of which
was cracked, and another was contorted and amusing. On the stained wall hung
one and the same picture, representing two half-dressed women on the sea-shore,
the only difference being that their pink bodies became more spotted with fly
dirt, and that the black patch of soot became larger above the place where the
common kerosene lamp gleamed all the whole winter’s day. And morning,
evening, and the whole livelong day, there hung over Petka the one and the same
abrupt cry, “Boy, water!” and he was always bringing
it—always. There were no holidays. On Sundays, when the windows of the
stores and shops ceased to illuminate the street, those of the
hair-dresser’s till late at night cast a bright sheaf of light upon the
pavement, and the passer-by might observe a little thin figure huddled upon his
seat in the corner, and immersed in something between thought and a heavy
slumber. Petka slept a great deal, but still for some reason or other he was
always wanting to sleep, and it often seemed to him that all around him was not
real, but a very unpleasant dream. Ofttimes he would spill the water, or fail
to hear the sharp call, “Boy, water!” He grew thinner and thinner,
and unsightly scabs came out on his closely-cropped head. Even the not too
fastidious customers looked with aversion on this thin, freckled boy, whose
eyes were always sleepy, his mouth half-open, and his hands and neck ingrained
with dirt. Round his eyes and under his nose faint lines were forming as though
traced by a sharp needle, and they made him look like an aged dwarf.</p>
<p>Petka did not know whether he was happy or unhappy, but he did want to go to
some other place; but where, or what, that place was he could not have told
you. When his mother, the cook, Nadejda, paid him a visit, he would eat
listlessly the sweets she brought him. He never, never complained, but only
asked to be taken away from the place. But he soon forgot his request, and
would coolly take leave of his mother, without asking when she was coming
again. And Nadejda thought with sorrow that she had only one son—and that
one an imbecile.</p>
<p>How long he had lived in this fashion, Petka did not know, when suddenly one
day his mother came to dinner, had a talk with Osip Abramovich, and told Petka
that he was to be allowed to go to the bungalow at Tzaritzyno, where her master
and mistress were living. At first, Petka could not realize the good news, but
after a time his face broke out into faint wrinkles of soft laughter, and he
began to hasten his mother’s departure. But for decency’s sake she
had to talk to Osip Abramovich about his wife’s health, while Petka was
gently dragging her by the hand and shoving her towards the door. He had no
idea what a bungalow was like, but he supposed that it must be the very place
which he had so longed to go to. With simple egotism he quite forgot Nikolka,
who was standing there with his hands in his pockets endeavouring to regard
Nadejda with his usual insolence. But instead of insolence there shone in his
eyes a profound grief. He had no mother, and at that moment he would not have
objected to having just such a stout one as Nadejda. The fact was that he too
had never been at a bungalow.</p>
<p>The railway station with its many voices, with its bustle and the rumble of
incoming trains, and the whistles of the engines, some thick and irate like the
voice of Osip Abramovich, others thin and shrill like the voice of his sickly
wife, with its hurrying passengers who kept coming and going in a continuous
stream, as if there were no end to them—all this presented itself for the
first time to the puzzled gaze of Petka, and filled him with a feeling of
excitement and impatience. Like his mother, he was afraid of being late, though
it wanted a good half-hour to the time of the departure of the suburban train.
But when they were once seated in the carriage, and the train had started, he
stuck to the window, and only his cropped head kept turning about on his thin
neck, as though on a metal spindle.</p>
<p>Petka had been born and bred in the city, and was now in the country for the
first time in his life, and everything there was to him strikingly new and
strange; that you could see so far; that the world looked like a lawn; and that
the sky of this new world was so wonderfully bright and
far-stretching—just as if you were looking at it from the roof of a
house! Petka looked at it from his own side, and when he turned to his mother,
there was the same sky shining blue through the opposite window, and on its
surface were flocking—like little angels—small, merry white flecks
of clouds. Now Petka would turn back to his own window, now run over to the
other side of the carriage, with confidence laying his ill-washed little hands
on the shoulders and knees of strangers, who answered him back with a smile.
But one gentleman who was reading a newspaper, and yawning all the time, either
from excessive fatigue or from ennui, looked askance at the boy once or twice
in not too friendly a manner, and Nadejda hastened to apologise:</p>
<p>“It is his first journey by rail—and he is interested.”</p>
<p>“Humph,” growled the gentleman, and buried himself in his
newspaper.</p>
<p>Nadejda would very much have liked to tell him, how that Petka had lived three
years with a barber, who had promised to set him upon his feet; and that this
would be a very good thing, since she was a lone weak woman, with no other
means of support in case of sickness or when she became old. But the expression
of his face was so uninviting, that she kept all this to herself.</p>
<p>To the right of the railway there was a broad stretch of undulating plain, dark
green with the continual moisture, and on its edge there stood grey little
houses, just like toys, and upon a high green hill, at the foot of which flowed
a silvery river, was perched a similarly toy-like white church. When the train,
with a noisy metallic clanking, which suddenly became intensified, rushed on to
a bridge, and seemed to hang suspended in the air over the mirror-like surface
of a river, Petka gave a little shiver of fright and surprise, and started back
from the window; but immediately turned to it again, for fear of losing a
single detail of the journey. His eyes had long ceased to look sleepy, and the
lines had disappeared from his face. It was as though some one had passed a hot
flat-iron over his face, smoothing out the wrinkles, and leaving the surface
white and shining.</p>
<p>For the first two days of his sojourn at the bungalow the wealth and force of
the new impressions which inundated him from above and from below confused his
timid little soul. In contradistinction to the savages of a former age, who
felt lost on coming into a city from the wilderness, this modern savage, who
had been snatched away from the stony embrace of the massive city, felt weak
and impotent in the face of nature. Here everything was to him living,
sentient, and possessed of conscious will. He was afraid of the forest, which
gently rustled over his head, and was so dark, so passive, so terrible in its
immensity. But the bright green joyful meadows, which seemed to be singing with
all their bright flowers, he loved, and wished to fondle them as a sister; and
the dark blue sky called him to itself, and laughed like a mother. Petka would
become agitated, shudder, and grow pale, would smile at something, and slowly,
like an old man, walk along the outskirts of the forest, and on the wooded
shore of the pond. There, weary and out of breath, he would fling himself down
on the thick damp grass, and sink into it, only his little freckled nose
appearing above the green surface. For the first two days he was always going
back to his mother, and nestling up to her: and when the master of the house
asked him whether he liked being at the bungalow, he would smile in confusion
and answer:</p>
<p>“Very much!”</p>
<p>And then he would go off again to the threatening forest, and the still water,
and it was as though he were questioning them.</p>
<p>But after two days Petka had arrived at a complete understanding with Nature.
This was brought about by the co-operation of a schoolboy named Mitya from old
Tzaritzyno. The schoolboy had a swarthy countenance, the colour of a
second-class carriage. His hair stood erect on the crown of his head, and was
quite white, so bleached was it by the sun. He was fishing in the pond, when
Petka caught sight of him and unceremoniously entered into conversation with
him. They came to terms with wonderful promptitude; he allowed Petka to hold
one of the rods, and afterwards took him some distance off to bathe. Petka was
very much afraid of going into the water, but when once in, he did not wish to
come out again, but pretended to swim, putting his forehead and nose above the
water. Then he got a great gulp of water in his mouth, and beat the water with
his hands and made a great splashing. At this moment he was very like a puppy,
that had for the first time fallen into the water. When Petka dressed himself
he was as blue as a corpse with the cold, and as he talked his teeth chattered.
At the proposal of Mitya, who was of inexhaustible resource, they next explored
the ruins of a mansion. They clambered upon the roof overgrown with shoots, and
wandered between the broken-down walls of the great building. They did enjoy
themselves there! All about heaps of stones were piled up, on which they
climbed with difficulty, and between which grew young rowan and birch trees. It
was still as death, and it seemed as though some one suddenly jumped out from a
corner, or that some horrible, terrible face appeared through the aperture left
by a broken window. By degrees Petka began to feel quite at home at the
bungalow, and he forgot that there was any Osip Abramovich or barber’s
shop in the world.</p>
<p>“Just look how he is putting on flesh! He’s a regular
merchant!” Nadejda at this time would exclaim with delight.</p>
<p>She was stout enough herself and her face shone with the heat of the kitchen
like a copper samovar. She attributed his improvement to the fact that she gave
him plenty to eat. But in reality Petka ate very little indeed, not because he
did not care for his food, but because he could scarcely find time for it. If
only it had been possible to bolt his food without mastication!—but one
must masticate, and during the intervals swing one’s feet, since Nadejda
ate deuced slowly, polishing the bones and wiping her fingers on her apron,
while she kept up a perpetual chatter. But he was up to the neck in business:
he had to bathe four times, to cut a fishing-rod in the hazel coppice, to dig
for worms—all this required time. Now Petka ran about bare-foot, and that
was a thousand times pleasanter than wearing boots with thick soles: the
rustling ground now warmed, now cooled his feet so deliciously. He had even
discarded his second-hand school-jacket, in which he looked like a full-grown
master-barber, and thereby became amazingly rejuvenated. He put it on only in
the evening, when he went and stood on the dam to watch the Master and Mistress
boating. Well-dressed and cheerful they would laughingly take their seats in
the rocking boat, which leisurely ploughed the mirror-like surface of the water
on which the reflection of the trees swayed as though agitated by a breeze.</p>
<p>At the end of the week the Master brought from the city a letter addressed
“to Cook Nadejda.” When he had read it over to her she began to
cry, and smeared her face all over with the soot which was on her apron. From
the fragmentary remarks which accompanied this operation, it might be deduced
that the contents of the letter affected Petka. This took place in the evening.
Petka was playing athletic sports by himself in the back court, and puffing out
his cheeks, because that made it considerably easier to jump. The schoolboy
Mitya had taught him this stupid but interesting occupation, and now Petka,
like a true “sportsman,” was practising alone. The master came out,
and laying his hand on his shoulder, said:</p>
<p>“Well, my friend, you have to go!”</p>
<p>Petka smiled in confusion and said nothing. “What a strange lad,”
thought the master.</p>
<p>“Yes, have to go.”</p>
<p>Petka smiled. Nadejda coming up with tears in her eyes repeated:</p>
<p>“You have to go, sonny.”</p>
<p>“Where?” said Petka in surprise. He had forgotten the city; and the
other place, to which he had always so wanted to go away—was found.</p>
<p>“To your master, Osip Abramovich.”</p>
<p>Still Petka failed to understand, though the matter was as clear as daylight.
But his mouth felt suddenly dry, and his tongue moved with difficulty as he
asked:</p>
<p>“How then can I go fishing to-morrow? Look, here is the rod.”</p>
<p>“But what can one do? He wants you. Prokopy, he says, is ill, and has
been taken to the hospital. He says he has not enough hands. Don’t cry!
See, he’ll be sure to let you come again. He is kind is Osip
Abramovich.”</p>
<p>But Petka was not thinking of crying, and still did not understand. On one side
there was the fact, the fishing-rod—on the other the phantom, Osip
Abramovich. But gradually Petka’s thoughts began to clear and a strange
metamorphosis took place: Osip Abramovich became the fact, and the fishing-rod,
which had not yet had time to dry, was changed into the phantom. And then Petka
surprised his mother, and distressed the master and his wife, and would have
been surprised himself if he had been capable of self-analysis. He did not
begin to cry, as town children, thin and half-starved, cry; he simply bawled
louder than the strongest-voiced man; and began to roll on the ground, as the
drunken women rolled on the boulevard. He clenched his skinny fists, and struck
his mother’s hands and the ground, in fact everything he came across,
feeling, indeed, the pain caused by the pebbles and sharp stones, but striving,
as it were, to increase it.</p>
<p>In course of time Petka became calm again, and the master said to his wife, who
was standing before the glass arranging a white rose in her hair:</p>
<p>“You see he has left off. Children’s grief is not
long-lived.”</p>
<p>“All the same I am very sorry for the poor little boy.”</p>
<p>“Yes, indeed! they live under terrible conditions, but there are people
who are still worse off. Are you ready?”</p>
<p>And they went off to Bigman’s Gardens, where dances had been arranged for
the evening, and a military band was already playing.</p>
<p>The next day Petka started for Moscow by the 7 a.m. train. Again he saw the
green fields, grey with the night’s dew, only they did not now run in the
same direction as before, but in the opposite. The second-hand school jacket
enveloped his thin body, and from the opening at the neck stuck out the corner
of a white paper collar. Petka did not turn to the window, indeed, he hardly
looked at it, but sat so still and modest, with his little hands primly folded
upon his knees. His eyes were sleepy and apathetic, and fine wrinkles, as in
the case of an old man, gathered about his eyes and under his nose. Suddenly
the pillars and the planks of the platform flashed before the window, and the
train stopped.</p>
<p>They pressed through the hurrying crowd, and came out into the noisy street;
and the great, greedy city callously swallowed up its little victim.</p>
<p>“Put away the fishing tackle for me,” said Petka, when his mother
deposited him at the door of the barber’s shop.</p>
<p>“Trust me for that, sonny! Maybe you will come again.”</p>
<p>And once more in the dirty, stuffy shop was heard the sharp call, “Boy,
water!” and the customer saw a small, dirty hand thrust out to the ledge
below the mirror, and heard the vague, threatening whisper. “Just you
wait a bit!” This meant that the sleepy boy had either spilled the water,
or had bungled the orders. But at nights from the place where Nikolka and Petka
lay side by side, a little low and agitated voice might be heard telling about
the bungalow, and speaking of what is not, and what no one has ever seen or
heard. And when silence supervened, and only the irregular breathing of the
children was audible, another voice, unusually deep and strong for a child,
would exclaim:</p>
<p>“The devils! May they bu’st!”</p>
<p>“Who are devils?”</p>
<p>“Why, the whole blooming lot, of course!”</p>
<p>A string of cars passed by, and drowned the boys’ voices with its noisy
rumbling; and then that distant cry of complaint was heard, which had for long
been borne in from the boulevard, where a drunken man was beating an equally
drunken woman.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap07"></SPAN>SILENCE</h3>
<h4>I</h4>
<p>On a moonlight night in May, when the nightingales were singing, his wife came
to Father Ignaty who was sitting in his study. Her face was expressive of
suffering, and the small lamp trembled in her hand. She came up to her husband,
touched him on the shoulder, and said sobbing:</p>
<p>“Father, let us go to Verochka!”</p>
<p>Without turning his head, Father Ignaty frowned at his wife over his
spectacles, and looked long and fixedly, until she made a motion of discomfort
with her free hand, and sat down on a low divan.</p>
<p>“How pitiless you <i>both</i> are,” said she slowly and with strong
emphasis on the word “both,” and her kindly puffed face was
contorted with a look of pain and hardness, as though she wished to express by
her looks how hard people were—her husband and her daughter.</p>
<p>Father Ignaty gave a laugh and stood up. Closing his book, he took off his
spectacles, put them into their case, and fell into a brown study. His big
black beard, shot with silver threads, lay in a graceful curve upon his chest,
and rose and fell slowly under his deep breathing.</p>
<p>“Well, then, we will go!” said he.</p>
<p>Olga Stepanovna rose quickly, and asked in a timid, ingratiating voice:</p>
<p>“Only don’t scold her, father! You know what she is.”</p>
<p>Vera’s room was in a belvedere at the top of the house, and the narrow
wooden stairs bent and groaned under the heavy steps of Father Ignaty. Tall and
ponderous, he was obliged to stoop so as not to hit his head against the
ceiling above, and he frowned fastidiously when his wife’s white jacket
touched his face. He knew that nothing would come of their conversation with
Vera.</p>
<p>“What, is that you?” asked Vera, lifting one bare arm to her eyes.
The other arm lay on the top of the white summer counterpane, from which it was
scarcely distinguishable, so white, transparent and cold was it.</p>
<p>“Verochka!” the mother began, but gave a sob and was silent.</p>
<p>“Vera!” said the father, endeavouring to soften his dry, hard
voice. “Vera, tell us what is the matter with you?”</p>
<p>Vera was silent.</p>
<p>“Vera, are your mother and I undeserving of your confidence? Do we not
love you? Have you any one nearer to you than ourselves? Speak to us of your
grief, and believe me, an old and experienced man, you will feel the better for
it. And so shall we. Look at your old mother, how she is suffering.”</p>
<p>“Verochka——!”</p>
<p>“And to me——” his voice trembled, as though something
in it had broken in two, “and to me, is it easy, think you? As though I
did not see that you were devoured by some grief, but what is it? And I, your
father, am kept in ignorance. Is it right?”</p>
<p>Vera still kept silence. Father Ignaty stroked his beard with special
precaution, as though he feared that his fingers would involuntarily begin to
tear it, and continued:</p>
<p>“Against my wishes you went to St. Petersburg—did I curse you for
your disobedience? Or did I refuse you money? Or do you say I was not kind?
Well, why don’t you speak? See, the good your St. Petersburg has done
you!”</p>
<p>Father Ignaty ceased speaking, and there rose before his mind’s eye
something big, granite-built, terrible, full of unknown dangers, and of strange
callous people. And there alone and weak was his Vera, and there she had been
ruined. An angry hatred of that terrible incomprehensible city arose in Father
Ignaty’s soul, together with anger towards his daughter, who kept silent,
so obstinately silent.</p>
<p>“St. Petersburg has nothing to do with it,” said Vera crossly, and
closed her eyes. “But there is nothing the matter with me. You had better
go to bed, it’s late.”</p>
<p>“Verochka!” groaned her mother. “My little daughter, confide
in me!”</p>
<p>“Oh! mamma!” said Vera, impatiently interrupting her.</p>
<p>Father Ignaty sat down on a chair and began to laugh.</p>
<p>“Well then, nothing is the matter after all?” he asked ironically.</p>
<p>“Father,” said Vera, in a sharp voice, raising herself up on her
bed, “you know that I love you and mamma. But—I do feel so dull.
All this will pass away. Really, you had better go to bed. I want to sleep,
too. To-morrow, or sometime, we will have a talk.”</p>
<p>Father Ignaty rose abruptly, so that his chair bumped against the wall, and
took his wife’s arm.</p>
<p>“Let’s go!”</p>
<p>“Verochka!”</p>
<p>“Let’s go—I tell you,” cried Father Ignaty. “If
she has forgotten God, shall we too! Why should we!”</p>
<p>He drew Olga Stepanovna away, almost by main force, and as they were descending
the stairs, she, dragging her steps more slowly, said in an angry whisper:</p>
<p>“Ugh! pope, it’s you who have made her so. It’s from you she
has got this manner. And you’ll have to answer for it. Ah! how wretched I
am——”</p>
<p>And she began to cry, and kept blinking her eyes, so that she could not see the
steps, and letting her feet go down as it were into an abyss below into which
she wished to precipitate herself.</p>
<p>From that day forward Father Ignaty ceased to talk to his daughter, and she
seemed not to notice the change. As before, she would now lie in her room, now
go about, frequently wiping her eyes with the palms of her hands, as though
they were obstructed. And oppressed by the silence of these two people, the
pope’s wife, who was fond of jokes and laughter, became lost and timid,
hardly knowing what to say or do.</p>
<p>Sometimes Vera went out for a walk. About a week after the conversation related
above, she went out in the evening as usual. They never saw her again alive,
for that evening she threw herself under a train, which cut her in two.</p>
<p>Father Ignaty buried her himself. His wife was not present at the church,
because at the news of Vera’s death she had had a stroke. She had lost
the use of her feet and hands and tongue, and lay motionless in a semi-darkened
room, while close by her the bells tolled in the belfry. She heard them all
coming out of church, heard the choristers singing before their house, and
tried to raise her hand to cross herself, but the hand would not obey her will.
She wished to say: “Good-bye, Vera,” but her tongue lay inert in
her mouth, swollen and heavy. She lay so still that any one who saw her would
have thought that she was resting, or asleep. Only—her eyes were open.</p>
<p>There were many people in the church at the funeral, both acquaintances of
Father Ignaty’s and strangers. All present compassionated Vera, who had
died such a terrible death, and they tried in Father Ignaty’s movements
and voice to find signs of profound grief. They were not fond of Father Ignaty,
because he was rough and haughty in his manners, harsh and unforgiving with his
penitents, while, himself jealous and greedy, he availed himself of every
chance to take more than his dues from a parishioner. They all wished to see
him suffering, broken-down; they wished to see him acknowledge that he was
doubly guilty of his daughter’s death—as a harsh father, and as a
bad priest, who could not protect his own flesh and blood from sin. So they all
watched him with curiosity, but he, feeling their eyes directed on his broad
powerful back, endeavoured to straighten it, and thought not so much of his
dead daughter as of not compromising his dignity.</p>
<p>“A well-seasoned pope,” Karzenov the carpenter, to whom he still
owed money for some frames, said with a nod in his direction.</p>
<p>And so, firm and upright, Father Ignaty went to the cemetery, and came back the
same. And not till he reached the door of his wife’s room did his back
bend a little; but that might have been because the door was not high enough
for his stature. Coming in from the light he could only with difficulty
distinguish his wife’s face, and when he succeeded in so doing, he
perceived that it was perfectly still and that there were no tears in her eyes.
In them was there neither anger nor grief; they were dumb, and painfully,
obstinately silent, as was also her whole obese feeble body that was pressed
against the bed-rail.</p>
<p>“Well, what? How are you feeling?” Father Ignaty inquired.</p>
<p>But her lips were dumb, and her eyes were silent. Father Ignaty laid his hand
on her forehead; it was cold and damp, and Olga Stepanovna gave no sign
whatever that she had felt his touch. And when he removed his hands from her
forehead, two deep, grey eyes looked at him without blinking; they seemed
almost black on account of the dilation of the pupils, and in them was neither
grief nor anger.</p>
<p>“Well, I will go to my own room,” said Father Ignaty, who had
turned cold and frightened.</p>
<p>He went through the guest-chamber, where everything was clean and orderly as
ever, and the high-backed chairs stood swathed in white covers, like corpses in
their shrouds. At one of the windows hung a wire cage, but it was empty and the
door was open.</p>
<p>“Nastasya!” Father Ignaty called, and his voice seemed to him
rough, and he felt awkward, that he had called so loud in those quiet rooms, so
soon after the funeral of their daughter. “Nastasya,” he called
more gently, “where’s the canary?”</p>
<p>The cook, who had cried so much that her nose was swollen and become as red as
a beet, answered rudely:</p>
<p>“Don’t know. It flew away.”</p>
<p>“Why did you let it go?” said Father Ignaty, angrily knitting his
brows.</p>
<p>Nastasya burst out crying, and wiping her eyes with the ends of a print
handkerchief she wore over her head, said through her tears:</p>
<p>“The dear little soul of the young mistress. How could I keep it?”</p>
<p>And it seemed even to Father Ignaty that the happy little yellow canary, which
used to sing always with its head thrown back, was really the soul of Vera, and
that if it had not flown away it would have been impossible to say that Vera
was dead. And he became still more angry with the cook, and shouted:</p>
<p>“Get along!” and when Nastasya did not at once make for the door,
added “Fool!”</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>From the day of the funeral silence reigned in the little house. It was not
stillness, for that is the mere absence of noise, but it was <i>silence</i>
which means that those who kept silence could, apparently, have spoken if they
had pleased. So thought Father Ignaty when, entering his wife’s chamber,
he would meet an obstinate glance, so heavy that it was as though the whole air
were turned to lead, and was pressing on his head and back. So he thought when
he examined his daughter’s music, on which her very voice was impressed;
her books, and her portrait, a large one painted in colours which she had
brought with her from St. Petersburg. In examining her portrait a certain order
was evolved.</p>
<p>First he would look at her neck, on which the light was thrown in the portrait,
and would imagine to himself a scratch on it, such as was on the neck of the
dead Vera, and the origin of which he could not understand. And every time he
meditated on the cause. If it had been the train which struck it, it would have
shattered her whole head, and the head of the dead Vera was quite uninjured.</p>
<p>Could it be that some one had touched it with his foot when carrying home the
corpse; or was it done unintentionally with the nail?</p>
<p>But to think long about the details of her death was horrible to Father Ignaty,
so he would pass on to the eyes of the portrait. They were black and beautiful,
with long eyelashes, the thick shadow of which lay below, so that the whites
seemed peculiarly bright, and the two eyes were as though enclosed in black
mourning frames. The unknown artist, a man of talent, had given to them a
strange expression. It was as though between the eyes, and that on which they
rested, there was a thin, transparent film. It reminded one of the black top of
a grand piano, on which the summer dust lay in a thin layer, almost
imperceptible, but still dimming the brightness of the polished wood. And
wherever Father Ignaty placed the portrait, the eyes continually followed him,
not speaking, but silent; and the silence was so clear that it seemed possible
to hear it. And by degrees Father Ignaty came to think that he did hear the
silence.</p>
<p>Every morning after the Eucharist Father Ignaty would go to the sitting-room,
would take in at a glance the empty cage, and all the well-known arrangement of
the room, sit down in an arm-chair, close his eyes and listen to the silence of
the house. It was something strange. The cage was gently and tenderly silent;
and grief and tears, and far-away dead laughter were felt in that silence. The
silence of his wife, softened by the intervening walls, was obstinate, heavy as
lead; and terrible, so terrible that Father Ignaty turned cold on the hottest
day. Endless, cold as the grave, mysterious as death, was the silence of his
daughter. It was as though the silence were a torture to itself, and as though
it longed passionately to pass into speech, but that something strong and dull
as a machine, held it motionless, and stretched it like a wire. And then
somewhere in the far distance, the wire began to vibrate and emit a soft,
timid, pitiful sound. Father Ignaty, with a mixture of joy and fear, would
catch this incipient sound, and pressing his hands on the arms of the chair,
would stretch his head forward and wait for the sound to reach him. But it
would break off, and lapse into silence.</p>
<p>“Nonsense!” Father Ignaty would angrily exclaim, and rise from the
chair, tall and upright as ever. From the window was to be seen the
market-place, bathed in sunlight, paved with round, even stones, and on the
other side the stone wall of a long, windowless storehouse. At the corner stood
a cab like a statue in clay, and it was incomprehensible why it continued to
stand there, when for whole hours together not a single passer-by was to be
seen.</p>
<h4>III</h4>
<p>Out of the house Father Ignaty had much talking to do: with his ecclesiastical
subordinates, and with his parishioners when he was performing his duties; and
sometimes with acquaintances when he played with them at
“Preference.” But when he returned home he thought that he had been
all the day silent. This came of the fact that with none of these people could
he speak of the question which was the chief and most important of all to him,
which racked his thoughts every night: Why had Vera died?</p>
<p>Father Ignaty was unwilling to admit to himself that it was impossible now to
solve this difficulty, and kept on thinking that it was still possible.</p>
<p>Every night—and they were all now for him sleepless—he would recall
the moment when he and his wife had stood by Vera’s bed at darkest
midnight, and he had entreated her “Speak!” And when in his
recollections he arrived at that word, even the rest of the scene presented
itself to him as different to what it had really been. His closed eyes
preserved in their darkness a vivid, unblurred picture of that night; they saw
distinctly Vera lifting herself upon her bed and saying with a
smile—— But what did she say? And that unuttered word of hers,
which would solve the whole question, seemed so near, that if he were to
stretch his ear and still the beating of his heart, then, then he would hear
it—and at the same time it was so infinitely, so desperately far.</p>
<p>Father Ignaty would rise from his bed, and stretching forth his clasped hands
in a gesture of supplication, entreat:</p>
<p>“Vera!”</p>
<p>And silence was the answer he received.</p>
<p>One evening Father Ignaty went to Olga Stepanovna’s room, where he had
not been for about a week, and sitting down near the head of her bed, he turned
away from her doleful, obstinate gaze, and said:</p>
<p>“Mother! I want to talk to you about Vera. Do you hear?”</p>
<p>Her eyes were silent, and Father Ignaty raising his voice began to speak in the
loud and severe tones with which he addressed his penitents:</p>
<p>“I know you think that I was the cause of Vera’s death. But
consider, did I love her less than you? You judge strangely——I was
strict, but did that prevent her from doing as she pleased? I made little of
the respect due to a father; I meekly bowed my neck, when she, with no fear of
my curse, went away—thither. And you——mother——did
not you with tears entreat her to remain, until I ordered you to be silent. Am
I responsible for her being born hard-hearted? Did I not teach her of God, of
humility, and of love?”</p>
<p>Father Ignaty gave a swift glance into his wife’s eyes, and turned away.</p>
<p>“What could I do with her, if she would not open her grief to me.
Command? I commanded her. Intreat? I intreated. What? Do you think I ought to
have gone down on my knees before the little chit of a girl, and wept, like an
old woman! What she had got in her head, and where she got it, I know not.
Cruel, heartless daughter!”</p>
<p>Father Ignaty smote his knees with his fists.</p>
<p>“She was devoid of love—that’s what it was! I know well
enough what she called me—a tyrant. You she did love, didn’t she?
You who wept, and——humbled yourself?”</p>
<p>Father Ignaty laughed noiselessly.</p>
<p>“Lo—o—ved! That’s it, to comfort you she chose such a
death—a cruel, disgraceful death! She died on the ballast, in the
dirt——like a d—d—og, to which some one gives a kick on
the muzzle.”</p>
<p>Father Ignaty’s voice sounded low and hoarse:</p>
<p>“I’m ashamed! I’m ashamed to go out into the street!
I’m ashamed to come out of the chancel! I’m ashamed before God.
Cruel, unworthy daughter! One could curse you in your
grave——”</p>
<p>When Father Ignaty glanced again at his wife, she had fainted, and did not come
to herself for some hours. And when she did come to herself her eyes were
silent, and it was impossible to know whether she understood what Father Ignaty
had said to her, or no.</p>
<p>That same night—it was a moonlight night in July, still, warm,
soundless—Father Ignaty crept on tiptoe, so that his wife and her nurse
should not hear him, up the stairs to Vera’s room. The window of the
belvedere had not been opened since the death of Vera, and the atmosphere was
dry and hot, with a slight smell of scorching from the iron roof, which had
become heated during the day. There was an uninhabited and deserted feeling
about the apartment from which man had been absent so long, and in which the
wood of the walls, the furniture and other objects gave out a faint smell of
growing decay.</p>
<p>The moonlight fell in a bright stripe across the window and floor, and
reflected by the carefully washed white boards it illumined the corners with a
dim semi-light, and the clean white bed with its two pillows, a big one and a
little one, looked unearthly and ghostly. Father Ignaty opened the window, and
the fresh air poured into the room in a broad stream, smelling of dust, of the
neighbouring river, and the flowering lime, and bore on it a scarcely audible
chorus, apparently, of people rowing a boat, and singing as they rowed.</p>
<p>Stepping silently on his naked feet, like a white ghost, Father Ignaty
approached the empty bed, and bending his knees fell face-down on the pillows,
and embraced them—the place where Vera’s face ought to have been.</p>
<p>He lay long so. The song became louder, and then gradually became inaudible;
but he still lay there, with his long black hair dishevelled over his shoulders
and on the bed.</p>
<p>The moon had moved on, and the room had become darker, when Father Ignaty
raised his head, and throwing into his voice all the force of a long suppressed
and long unacknowledged love, and listening to his words, as though not he, but
Vera, were listening to them, exclaimed:</p>
<p>“Vera, my daughter! Do you understand what it means, daughter! Little
daughter! My heart! my blood, my life! Your father, your poor old father,
already grey and feeble.”</p>
<p>His shoulders shook, and all his heavy frame was convulsed. With a shudder
Father Ignaty whispered tenderly, as to a little child:</p>
<p>“Your poor old father asks you. Yes, Verochka, he entreats. He weeps. He
who never was so wont. Your grief, my little daughter, your suffering, are my
own. More than mine.”</p>
<p>Father Ignaty shook his head.</p>
<p>“More, Verochka. What is death to me, an old man? But you——.
If only you had realized, how tender, weak and timid you were! Do you remember
how when you pricked your finger and the blood came, you began to cry. My
little daughter! And you do indeed love me, love me dearly, I know. Every
morning you kiss my hand. Speak, speak of what is grieving you—and I with
these two hands will strangle your grief. They are still strong, Vera, these
hands.”</p>
<p>His locks shook.</p>
<p>“Speak!”</p>
<p>He fixed his eyes on the wall, and stretching out his hands, cried:</p>
<p>“Speak!”</p>
<p>But the chamber was silent, and from the far distance was borne in the sound of
the long and short whistles of a locomotive.</p>
<p>Father Ignaty, rolling his distended eyes, as though there stood before him the
frightful ghost of a mutilated corpse, slowly raised himself from his knees,
and with uncertain movement lifted his hand, with the fingers separated and
nervously stretched out, to his head. Going out by the door, Father Ignaty
sharply whispered the word:</p>
<p>“Speak!”</p>
<p>And silence was the answer he received.</p>
<h4>IV</h4>
<p>The next day, after an early and solitary dinner, Father Ignaty went to the
cemetery—for the first time since the death of his daughter. It was
close, deserted, and still, as though the hot day were but an illumined night;
but Father Ignaty as his habit was, with an effort straightened his back,
looked sternly from side to side, and thought that he was the same as
heretofore. He did not regard the new, but terrible, weakness of his legs, nor
that his long beard had grown completely white, as though bitten by a hard
frost. The way to the cemetery led through the long, straight street, which
sloped gently upwards, and at the end of which gleamed white the roof of the
lych-gate, which was like a black, ever-open mouth edged with gleaming teeth.</p>
<p>Vera’s grave lay in the very depth of the cemetery, where the gravelled
pathways ended; and Father Ignaty had to wander for long on the narrow tracks,
along a broken line of little mounds which protruded from the grass, forgotten
of all, deserted of all. Here and there he came upon monuments sloping and
green with age, broken-down railings, and great heavy stones cast upon the
ground, and pressing it with a sort of grim senile malignity.</p>
<p>Vera’s grave was next to one of these stones. It was covered with new
sods, already turning yellow, while all around it was green. A rowan tree was
intertwined with a maple, and a widely spreading clump of hazel stretched its
pliant branches with rough furred leaves over the grave. Sitting down on the
neighbouring tomb, and sighing repeatedly, Father Ignaty looked round, cast a
glance at the cloudless desert sky, in which the red-hot disc of the sun hung
suspended in perfect immobility—and then only did he become conscious of
that profound stillness, like nothing else in the world, which holds sway over
a cemetery, when there is not a breath of wind to rustle the dead leaves. And
once more the thought came to Father Ignaty, that this was not stillness, but
silence. It overflowed to the very brick walls of the cemetery, climbed heavily
over them, and submerged the city. And its end was only there—in those
grey, stubbornly, obstinately silent eyes.</p>
<p>Father Ignaty shrugged his shoulders, which were becoming cold, and let his
eyes fall on Vera’s grave. He gazed long at the short little seared
stalks of grass, which had been torn from the ground somewhere in the wide
wind-swept fields, and had failed to take root in the new soil; and he could
not realize that there, under that grass, at a few feet from him, lay Vera. And
this nearness seemed incomprehensible, and imbued his soul with a confusion and
strange alarm. She, of whom he was accustomed to think as having for ever
disappeared in the dark depth of infinity, was here, close—and it was
difficult to understand that nevertheless she was not, and never would be
again. And it seemed to Father Ignaty that if he spoke some word, which he
almost felt upon his lips, or if he made some movement, Vera would come forth
from the tomb, and stand up as tall and beautiful as ever. And that not only
would she arise; but that all the dead, who could be felt, so awesome in their
solemn cold silence, would rise too.</p>
<p>Father Ignaty took off his black wide-brimmed hat, smoothed his wavy locks, and
said in a whisper:</p>
<p>“Vera!”</p>
<p>He became uneasy lest he should be heard by some stranger, and stood upon the
tomb and looked over the crosses. But there was no one near, and he repeated
aloud:</p>
<p>“Vera!”</p>
<p>It was Father Ignaty’s old voice, dry and exacting, and it was strange
that a demand made with such force remained without answer.</p>
<p>“Vera!”</p>
<p>Loud and persistently the voice called, and when it was silent for a moment it
seemed as though somewhere below a vague answer resounded. And Father Ignaty
looked once more around, removed his hair from his ears, and laid them on the
rough prickly sod.</p>
<p>“Vera! Speak!”</p>
<p>And Father Ignaty felt with horror that something cold as the tomb penetrated
his ear, and froze the brain, and that Vera spoke—but what she said was
ever the same long silence. It became ever more and more alarming and terrible,
and when Father Ignaty dragged his head with an effort from the ground, pale as
that of a corpse, it seemed to him that the whole air trembled and vibrated
with a resonant silence, as though a wild storm had arisen on that terrible
sea. The silence choked him: it kept rolling backwards and forwards through his
head in icy waves, and stirred his hair; it broke against his bosom, which
groaned beneath the shocks. Trembling all over, casting from side to side
quick, nervous glances, he slowly raised himself, and strove with torturing
efforts to straighten his back and to restore the proud carriage to his
trembling body. And in this he succeeded. With slow deliberation he shook the
dust from his knees, put on his hat, made the sign of the cross three times
over the grave, and went with even, firm gait, and yet did not recognize the
well-known cemetery, and lost his way.</p>
<p>“Lost my way!” he laughed, and stood still at the branching paths.</p>
<p>He stood still for a moment, and then without thinking turned to the left,
because it was impossible to stand still and wait. The silence pursued him. It
rose from the green graves; the grim grey crosses breathed it; it came forth in
thin suffocating streams from every pore of the ground, which was sated with
corpses. Father Ignaty’s steps became quicker and quicker. Dazed, he went
round the same paths again and again, he leapt the graves, stumbled against the
railings, grasped the prickly tin wreaths, and the soft stuff tore to pieces in
his hands. Only one thought, that of getting out, was left in his head. He
rushed from side to side, and at last ran noiselessly, a tall figure, almost
unrecognizable in his streaming cassock, with his hair floating on the air.
More frightened than at the sight of a corpse risen from the grave, would have
been any one who had met this wild figure of a man running, leaping, waving his
arms—if he had recognized his mad, distorted face, and heard the dull
rattle that escaped from his open mouth.</p>
<p>At full run Father Ignaty jumped out upon the little square at the end of which
stood the low white mortuary chapel. In the porch on a little bench there dozed
an old man who looked like a pilgrim from afar, and near him two old
beggar-women were flying at one another, quarrelling and scolding.</p>
<p>When Father Ignaty reached home, it was already getting dark, and the lamp was
lit in Olga Stepanovna’s room. Without change of clothes or removing his
hat, torn and dusty, he came hurriedly to his wife and fell on his knees.</p>
<p>“Mother—Olga—pity me!” he sobbed; “I am going out
of my mind.”</p>
<p>He beat his head against the edge of the table, and sobbed tumultuously,
painfully, as a man does who never weeps. He lifted his head, confident that in
a moment a miracle would be performed, and that his wife would speak, and pity
him.</p>
<p>“Dear!”</p>
<p>With his whole big body he stretched out towards his wife, and met the look of
the grey eyes. In them there was neither compassion nor anger. Maybe his wife
forgave and pitied him, but in those eyes there was neither pity nor
forgiveness. They were dumb and silent.</p>
<p>And the whole desolate house was silent.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap08"></SPAN>LAUGHTER</h3>
<h4>I</h4>
<p>AT 6:30 I was certain that she would come, and I was desperately happy. My coat
was fastened only by the top button, and fluttered in the cold wind; but I felt
no cold. My head was proudly thrown back, and my student’s cap was cocked
on the back of my head; my eyes with respect to the men they met were
expressive of patronage and boldness, with respect to the women of a seductive
tenderness. Although she had been my only love for four whole days, I was so
young, and my heart was so rich in love, that I could not remain perfectly
indifferent to other women. My steps were quick, bold and free.</p>
<p>At 6:45 my coat was fastened by two buttons, and I looked only at the women,
but no longer with a seductive tenderness, but rather with disgust. I only
wanted <i>one</i> woman—the others might go to the devil; they only
confused me, and with their seeming resemblance to Her gave to my movements an
uncertain and jerky indecision.</p>
<p>At 6:55 I felt warm.</p>
<p>At 6:58 I felt cold.</p>
<p>As it struck seven I was convinced that she would not come.</p>
<p>By 8:30 I presented the appearance of the most pitiful creature in the world.
My coat was fastened with all its buttons, collar turned up, cap tilted over my
nose, which was blue with cold; my hair was over my forehead, my moustache and
eyelashes were whitening with rime, and my teeth gently chattered. From my
shambling gait, and bowed back, I might have been taken for a fairly hale old
man returning from a party at the almshouse.</p>
<p>And She was the cause of all this—She! “Oh, the Dev——!
No, I won’t. Perhaps she could not get away, or she is ill, or dead.
She’s dead!”—and I swore.</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>“Eugenia Nikolaevna will be there to-night,” one of my companions,
a student, remarked to me, without the slightest <i>arrière pensée.</i> He
could not know how that I had waited for her in the frost from seven to
half-past eight.</p>
<p>“Indeed,” I replied, as in deep thought, but within my soul there
leapt out: “Oh, the Dev——!” “There” meant
at the Polozovs’ evening party. Now the Polozovs were people with whom I
was not upon visiting terms. But this evening I would be there.</p>
<p>“You fellows!” I shouted cheerfully, “to-day is Christmas
Day, when everybody enjoys himself. Let us do so too.”</p>
<p>“But how?” one of them mournfully replied.</p>
<p>“And where?” continued another.</p>
<p>“We will dress up, and go round to all the evening parties,” I
decided.</p>
<p>And these insensate individuals actually became cheerful. They shouted, leapt,
and sang. They thanked me for my suggestion, and counted up the amount of
“the ready” available. In the course of half an hour we had
collected all the lonely, disconsolate students in town; and when we had
recruited a cheerful dozen or so of leaping devils, we repaired to a
hair-dresser’s—he was also a costumier—and let in there the
cold, and youth, and laughter.</p>
<p>I wanted something sombre and handsome, with a shade of elegant sadness; so I
requested:</p>
<p>“Give me the dress of a Spanish grandee.”</p>
<p>Apparently this grandee had been very tall, for I was altogether swallowed up
in his dress, and felt there as absolutely alone as though I had been in a
wide, empty hall. Getting out of this costume, I asked for something else.</p>
<p>“Would you like to be a clown? Motley with bells.”</p>
<p>“A clown, indeed!” I exclaimed with contempt.</p>
<p>“Well, then, a bandit. Such a hat and dagger!”</p>
<p>Oh! dagger! Yes, that would suit my purpose. But unfortunately the bandit whose
clothes they gave me had scarcely grown to full stature. Most probably he had
been a corrupt youth of eight years. His little hat would not cover the back of
my head, and I had to be dragged out of his velvet breeks as out of a trap. A
page’s dress was no go: it was all spotted like the pard. The
monk”s cowl was all in holes.</p>
<p>“Look sharp; it’s late,” said my companions, who were already
dressed, trying to hurry me up.</p>
<p>There was but one costume left—that of a distinguished Chinaman.
“Give me the Chinaman’s,” said I with a wave of my hand. And
they gave it me. It was the devil knows what! I am not speaking of the costume
itself. I pass over in silence those idiotic flowered boots, which were too
short for me, and reached only half-way to my knees; but in the remaining, by
far the most essential part, stuck out like two incomprehensible adjuncts on
either side of my feet. I say nothing of the pink rag which covered my head
like a wig, and was tied by threads to my ears, so that they protruded and
stood up like a bat’s. But the mask!</p>
<p>It was, if one may use the expression, a face <i>in the abstract.</i> It had
nose, eyes, and mouth all right enough, and all in the proper places; but there
was nothing human about it. A human being could not look so placid—even
in his coffin. It was expressive neither of sorrow, nor cheerfulness, nor
surprise—it expressed absolutely nothing! It looked at you squarely, and
placidly—and an uncontrollable laughter overwhelmed you. My companions
rolled about on the sofas, sank impotently down on the chairs, and
gesticulated.</p>
<p>“It will be the most original mask of the evening,” they declared.</p>
<p>I was ready to weep; but no sooner did I glance in the mirror than I too was
convulsed with laughter. Yes, it will be a most original mask!</p>
<p>“In no circumstances are we to take off our masks,” said my
companions on the way. “We will give our word.”</p>
<p>“Honour bright!”</p>
<h4>III</h4>
<p>Positively it was the most original mask. People followed me in crowds, turned
me about, jostled me, pinched me. But when, harried, I turned on my persecutors
in anger—uncontrollable laughter seized them. Wherever I went, a roaring
cloud of laughter encompassed and pressed on me; it moved together with me, and
I could not escape from this circle of mad mirth. Sometimes it seized even
myself, and I shouted, sang, and danced till everything seemed to go round
before me, as if I was drunk. But how remote everything was from me! And how
solitary was I under that mask! At last they left me in peace. With anger and
fear, with malice and tenderness intermingling, I looked at her.</p>
<p>“”Tis I.”</p>
<p>Her long eyelashes were lifted slowly in surprise, and a whole sheaf of black
rays flashed upon me, and a laugh, resonant, joyous, bright as the spring
sunshine—a laugh answered me.</p>
<p>“Yes, it is I; I, I say,” I insisted with a smile. “Why did
you not come this evening?”</p>
<p>But she only laughed, laughed joyously.</p>
<p>“I suffered so much; I felt so hurt,” said I, imploring an answer.</p>
<p>But she only laughed. The black sheen of her eyes was extinguished, and still
more brightly her smile lit up. It was the sun indeed, but burning, pitiless,
cruel.</p>
<p>“What’s the matter with you?”</p>
<p>“Is it really you?” said she, restraining herself. “How
comical you are!”</p>
<p>My shoulders were bowed, and my head hung down—such despair was there in
my pose. And while she, with the expiring afterglow of the smile upon her face,
looked at the happy young couples that hurried by us, I said: “It’s
not nice to laugh. Do you not feel that there is a living, suffering face
behind my ridiculous mask—and can’t you see that it was only for
the opportunity it gave me of seeing you that I put it on? You gave me reason
to hope for your love, and then so quickly, so cruelly deprived me of it. Why
did you not come?”</p>
<p>With a protest on her tender, smiling lips, she turned sharply to me, and a
cruel laugh utterly overwhelmed her. Choking, almost weeping, covering her face
with a fragrant lace handkerchief, she brought out with difficulty: “Look
at yourself in the mirror behind. Oh, how droll you are!”</p>
<p>Contracting my brows, clenching my teeth with pain, with a face grown cold,
from which all the blood had fled, I looked at the mirror. There gazed out at
me an idiotically placid, stolidly complacent, inhumanly immovable face. And I
burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. And with the laughter not yet
subsided, but already with the trembling of rising anger, with the madness of
despair, I said—nay, almost shouted:</p>
<p>“You ought not to laugh!”</p>
<p>And when she was quiet again I went on speaking in a whisper of my love. I had
never spoken so well, for I had never loved so strongly. I spoke of the
tortures of expectation, of the venomous tears of mad jealousy and grief, of my
own soul which was all love. And I saw how her drooping eyelashes cast thick
dark shadow over her blanched cheeks. I saw how across their dull pallor the
fire, bursting into flame, threw a red reflection, and how her whole pliant
body involuntarily bent towards me.</p>
<p>She was dressed as the Goddess of Night, and was all mysterious, clad in a
black, mist-like face, which twinkled with stars of brilliants. She was
beautiful as a forgotten dream of far-off childhood. As I spoke my eyes filled
with tears, and my heart beat with gladness. And I perceived, I perceived at
last, how a tender, piteous smile parted her lips, and her eyelashes were
lifted all a-tremble. Slowly, timorously, but with infinite confidence, she
turned her head towards me, and—</p>
<p>And such a shriek of laughter I never heard!</p>
<p>“No, no, I can’t,” she almost groaned, and throwing back her
head, she burst into a resonant cascade of laughter.</p>
<p>Oh, if but for a moment I could have had a human face! I bit my lips, tears
rolled over my heated face; but it—that idiotic mask, on which everything
was in its right place, nose, eyes, and lips—looked with a complacency
staidly horrible in its absurdity. And when I went out, swaying on my flowered
feet, it was long before I got out of reach of that ringing laugh. It was as
though a silvery stream of water were falling from an immense height, and
breaking in cheerful song upon the hard rock.</p>
<h4>IV</h4>
<p>Scattered over the whole sleeping street and rousing the stillness of the night
with our lusty, excited voices, we walked home. A companion said to me:</p>
<p>“You have had a colossal success. I never saw people laugh
so—— Halloa! what are you up to? Why are you tearing your mask? I
say, you fellows, he’s gone mad! Look, he’s tearing his costume to
pieces! By Jove! he’s actually crying.”</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap09"></SPAN>THE FRIEND</h3>
<p>When late at night he rang at his own door, the first sound after that of the
bell was a resonant dog”s bark, in which might be distinguished both fear
that it might have been a stranger, and joy that it was his own master, who had
arrived.</p>
<p>Then there followed the squish-squash of goloshes, and the squeak of the key
taken out of the lock.</p>
<p>He came in, and taking off his wrappers in the dark, was conscious of a silent
female figure close by, while the nails of a dog caressingly scratched at his
knees, and a hot tongue licked his chilled hand.</p>
<p>“Well, what is it?” a sleepy voice asked in a tone of perfunctory
interest.</p>
<p>“Nothing! I’m tired,” curtly replied Vladimir Mikhailovich,
and went to his own room. The dog followed him, his nails striking sharply on
the waxed floor, and jumped on to the bed. When the light of the lamp which he
lit filled the room, his glance met the steady gaze of the dog”s black
eyes. They seemed to say: “Come now, pet me.” And to make the
request better understood the dog stretched out his fore-paws, and laid his
head sideways upon them, while his hinder quarters wriggled comically, and his
tail kept twirling round like the handle of a barrel-organ.</p>
<p>“My only friend!” said Vladimir Mikhailovich, as he stroked the
black, glossy coat. As though from excess of feeling the dog turned on his
back, showed his white teeth, and growled gently, joyful and excited. But
Vladimir Mikhailovich sighed, petted the dog, and thought to himself, how that
there was no one else in the world that would ever love him.</p>
<p>If he happened to return home early, and not tired out with work, he would sit
down to write, and the dog curled himself into a ball on a chair somewhere near
to him, opened one black eye now and again, and sleepily wagged his tail. And
when excited by the process of authorship, tortured by the sufferings of his
own heroes, and choking with a plethora of thoughts and mental pictures, he
walked about in his room, and smoked cigarette after cigarette, the dog would
follow him with an anxious look, and wag his tail more vigorously than ever.</p>
<p>“Shall we become famous, you and I, Vasyuk?” he would inquire of
the dog, who would wag his tail in affirmation. “We’ll eat liver
then, is that right?”</p>
<p>“Right!” the dog would reply, stretching himself luxuriously. He
was very fond of liver.</p>
<p>Vladimir Mikhailovich often had visitors. Then his aunt, with whom he lived,
would borrow china from her neighbour, and give them tea, setting on samovar
after samovar. She would go and buy vodka and sausages, and sigh heavily as she
drew out from the bottom of her pocket a greasy rouble-note. In the room with
its smoke-laden atmosphere loud voices resounded. They quarrelled and laughed,
said droll and sharp things, complained of their fate and envied one another.
They advised Vladimir Mikhailovich to give up literature and take to some more
lucrative occupation. Some said that he ought to consult a doctor, others
clinked glasses with him, while they bewailed the injury that vodka was doing
to his health. He was so sickly, so continually nervous. This was why he had
such fits of depression, and why he demanded of life the impossible. All
addressed him as “thou,” and their voices expressed their interest
in him, and in the friendliest manner, they would invite him to drive beyond
the city with them, and prolong the conviviality. And when he drove off merry,
making more noise than the others, and laughing at nothing, there followed him
two pairs of eyes: the grey eyes of his aunt, angry and reproachful, and the
anxiously caressing black eyes of the dog.</p>
<p>He did not remember what he did, when he had been drinking, and returned home
in the morning bespattered with mud and marl, and without his hat.</p>
<p>They would tell him afterwards how in his cups he had insulted his friend; at
home had reviled his Aunt, who had wept and said she could not bear such a life
any longer, but must do away with herself; and how he had tortured his dog,
when he refused to come to him and be petted; and that when, terrified and
trembling, he showed his teeth, he had beaten him with a strap.</p>
<p>And the following day all would have finished their day’s work before he
woke up sick and miserable. His heart would beat unevenly and feel faint,
filling him with dread of an early death, while his hands trembled. On the
other side of the wall, in the kitchen, his Aunt would stump about, the sound
of her steps re-echoing through the cold, empty flat. She would not speak to
Vladimir Mikhailovich, but austere and unforgiving, gave him water in silence.
And he too would keep silence, looking at the ceiling, at a particular stain
long known to him, and thinking how he was wasting his life, and that he would
never gain fame and happiness. He confessed to himself that he was weak,
worthless and terribly lonesome. The boundless world seethed with moving human
beings, and yet there was not one single soul who would come to him and share
his pains—madly arrogant thoughts of fame, coupled with a deadly
consciousness of worthlessness. With trembling, bungling hand he would grip his
forehead, and press his eyelids, but however firmly he pressed, still the tears
would ooze through, and creep down over his cheeks, which still retained the
scent of purchased kisses. And when he dropped his hand, it would fall upon
another forehead, hairy and smooth, and his gaze, confused with tears, would
meet the caressing black eyes of the dog, and his ears would catch his soft
sighs. And touched and comforted he would whisper:</p>
<p>“My friend, my only friend!”</p>
<p>When he recovered, his friends used to come to him, and softly reprove him,
giving advice and speaking of the evils of drink. But some of his friends, whom
he had insulted when drunk, ceased to notice him in the streets. They
understood that he did not wish them any harm, but they preferred not to run
the risk of further unpleasantnesses. Thus he spent the oppressive fume-laden
nights and the sternly avenging sun-lit days at war with himself, his obscurity
and loneliness. And ofttimes the steps of his Aunt resounded through the
deserted flat, while from the bed was heard a whisper, which resembled a sigh:</p>
<p>“My friend, my only friend!”</p>
<p>Eventually his illusive fame came, came unguessed at, and unexpected, and
filled the empty apartments with light and life. His Aunt’s steps were
drowned in the tramp of friendly footsteps, and the spectre of loneliness
vanished, and the soft whisper ceased. Vodka, too, disappeared, that ominous
companion of the solitary, and Vladimir Mikhailovich ceased to insult his Aunt
and his friends.</p>
<p>The dog too was glad. Still louder became his bark on the occasion of their
belated meetings, when his master, his only friend, came home kind, happy, and
laughing. The dog himself learnt to smile; his upper lip would be drawn up
exposing his white teeth, and his nose would pucker up into funny little
wrinkles. Happy and frolicsome he began to play; he would seize hold of things
and make as though he would carry them away, and when his master stretched out
his hands to catch him, he would let him approach to within a stride of him,
and then run away again, while his black eyes sparkled with artfulness.</p>
<p>Sometimes Vladimir Mikhailovich would point to his Aunt and say, “Bite
her!” and the dog would fly at her in feigned anger, shake her petticoat,
and then, out of breath, glance sideways at his friend with his roguish black
eyes. The Aunt’s thin lips would be contorted into an austere smile, and
stroking the dog, now tired out with play, on his glossy head, would say:</p>
<p>“Sensible dog!—only he does not like soup.”</p>
<p>And at night, when Vladimir Mikhailovich was at work, and only the jarring of
the window-panes, caused by the street traffic, broke the stillness, the dog
would doze near to him on the alert, and wake at his slightest movement.</p>
<p>“What, laddie, would you like some liver?” he would ask.</p>
<p>“Yes,” would Vasyuk reply, wagging his tail in the affirmative.</p>
<p>“Well, wait a bit, I’ll buy you some. What do you want? To be
petted? I have no time now, I am busy; go to sleep, laddie!”</p>
<p>Every night he asked the dog about liver, but he continually forgot to buy it,
because his head was full of plans for a new work, and of thoughts of a woman
he was in love with. Only once did he remember the liver. It was in the
evening; he was passing a butcher’s shop, arm in arm with a pretty woman
who pressed her shoulder close against his. He jokingly told her about his dog,
and praised his sense and intelligence. Showing off somewhat, he went on to
tell her that there were terrible, distressing moments, when he regarded his
dog as his only friend, and laughingly related his promise to buy liver for his
friend, when he should have attained happiness—and he pressed the
girl’s hand closer to him.</p>
<p>“You clever fellow,” cried she, laughing; “you would make
even stones speak. But I don’t like dogs at all: they are so apt to carry
infection.”</p>
<p>Vladimir Mikhailovich agreed that that was the case, and held his tongue with
regard to his habit of sometimes kissing that black shiny muzzle.</p>
<p>One day, Vasyuk played more than usual during the daytime, but in the evening,
when Vladimir Mikhailovich came home, he did not turn up to meet him, and his
Aunt said that the dog was ill. Vladimir Mikhailovich was alarmed, and went
into the kitchen, where the dog lay on a bed of soft litter. His nose was dry
and hot, and his eyes were troubled. He made a slight movement of his tail, and
looked piteously at his friend.</p>
<p>“What is it, boy; ill? My poor fellow!”</p>
<p>The tail made a feeble motion, and the black eyes became moist.</p>
<p>“Lie still, then; lie still!”</p>
<p>“He will have to be taken to the veterinary: but to-morrow, I have no
time. But it will pass off—” thought Vladimir Mikhailovich, and he
forgot the dog in thinking of the happiness the pretty girl might give him. All
the next day he was away from home. When he returned his hand fumbled long in
searching for the bell-handle, and when it was found hesitated long as to what
to do with the wooden thing.</p>
<p>“Ah, yes! I must ring,” he laughed, and then began singing,
“Open—ye!”</p>
<p>The bell gave a solitary ring, goloshes squish-squashed, and the key squeaked
as it was taken out of the lock.</p>
<p>Vladimir Mikhailovich, still humming, passed through into his room, and walked
about a long time before it occurred to him that he ought to light the lamp.
Then he undressed, but for a long time he kept in his hands the boots he had
taken off, and looked at them as though they were the pretty girl, who had only
that day said so simply and sincerely, “Yes! I love you!” And when
he had got into bed, he still saw her speaking face, until side by side with it
there appeared the black shiny muzzle of his dog, and with a sharp pain there
crept into his heart the question:</p>
<p>“But where is Vasyuk?”</p>
<p>He became ashamed of having forgotten the sick dog—but not particularly
so: for had not Vasyuk been ill several times before, and nothing had come of
it. But to-morrow the veterinary must be sent for. At all events he need not
think of the dog, and of his own ingratitude—that would do no good, and
would only diminish his own happiness.</p>
<p>When morning came the dog became worse. He was troubled with nausea, and being
a well-mannered dog, he rose with difficulty from his litter, and went to the
courtyard, staggering like a drunken man. His little black body was sleek as
ever, but his head hung feebly, and his eyes, which now looked grey, gazed in
mournful surprise.</p>
<p>At first Vladimir Mikhailovich himself, with the help of his Aunt, opened wide
the dog”s mouth, with its yellowing gums, and poured in medicine: but the
dog was in such pain and suffered so, that it became too distressing to him to
look at him, and he left him to the care of his Aunt. And when the dog”s
feeble, helpless moan penetrated through the wall, he stuffed his fingers into
his ears, and was surprised at the extent of his love for this poor dog.</p>
<p>In the evening he went out. Before doing so he gave a look in at the kitchen.
His Aunt was on her knees stroking the hot, trembling head with her dry hand.</p>
<p>With his legs stretched out like sticks, the dog lay heavy and motionless, and
only by putting one’s ear down close to his muzzle could one catch the
low, frequent moans.</p>
<p>His eyes, now quite grey, fixed themselves on his master as he came in, and
when he carefully passed his hand over the dog”s forehead, his groans
became clearer and more piteous.</p>
<p>“What, laddie, are you so bad? But wait a bit, when you are well I will
buy you some liver.”</p>
<p>“I’ll make him eat soup!” jokingly threatened the Aunt.</p>
<p>The dog closed his eyes, and Vladimir Mikhailovich with a forced joke went out
in haste; and when he got into the street he hired a cab, since he was afraid
of being late at the rendez-vous with Natalya Lavrentyevna.</p>
<p>That autumn’s evening the air was so fresh and pure, and so many stars
twinkled in the dark sky! They kept falling, leaving behind them a fiery track,
and burst kindling with a bluish light a pretty girl’s face, and were
reflected in her dark eyes—as though a glow-worm had appeared at the
bottom of a deep dark well. And greedy lips noiselessly kissed those eyes,
those lips fresh as the night air, and those cool cheeks. Voices exultant, and
trembling with love, whispered, prattling of joy and life.</p>
<p>When Vladimir Mikhailovich drove up to his house, he remembered the dog, and
his breast ached with a dark foreboding.</p>
<p>When his Aunt opened the door, he asked:</p>
<p>“Well, how’s Vasyuk?”</p>
<p>“Dead. He died about an hour after you left.”</p>
<p>The dead dog had been already removed to some outhouse, and the litter bed
cleared away. But Vladimir Mikhailovich did not even wish to see the body; it
would be too distressing a sight. When he lay down in bed, and all noises were
stilled in the empty flat, he began to weep restrainedly. His lips puckered up
silently, and tears forced their way through his closed eyelids, and rolled
quickly down on to his bosom. He was ashamed that he was kissing a woman at the
very moment when he, who had been his friend, lay a-dying on the floor alone.
And he dreaded what his Aunt would think of him, a serious man, if she heard
that he had been crying about a dog.</p>
<p>Much time had elapsed since these events. Mysterious, outrageous fame had left
Vladimir Mikhailovich just as it had come to him. He had disappointed the hopes
that had been built on him, and all were angry at this disappointment, and
avenged themselves on him by exasperating remarks and cold jeers. And then they
had shut down on him dead, heavy oblivion, like the lid of a coffin.</p>
<p>The young woman had dropped him. She too considered herself taken in.</p>
<p>The oppressive fume-laden nights, and the pitilessly vengeful sun-lit days,
went by: and frequently, more frequently than formerly, the Aunt’s steps
resounded through the empty flat, while he lay on his bed looking at the
well-known stain on the ceiling, and whispered:</p>
<p>“My friend, my friend, my only friend!”</p>
<p>And his trembling hand fell feebly on an empty place.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap10"></SPAN>IN THE BASEMENT</h3>
<h4>I</h4>
<p>He drank hard, lost his work and his acquaintances, and took up his abode in a
cellar in the company of thieves and unfortunates, living on the last things he
had.</p>
<p>His was a sickly, anaemic body, worn out with work, eaten up by sufferings and
vodka. Death was already on the watch for him, like a grey bird-of-prey blind
in the sunshine, sharp-eyed in the black night. By day death hid itself in the
dark corners, but at night it took its seat noiselessly by his bedside, and sat
long, till the very dawn, and was quiet, patient, and persistent. When at the
first streak of light he put out his pale head from under the blankets, his
eyes gleaming like those of a hunted wild animal, the room was already empty.
But he did not trust this deceptive emptiness, which others believe in. He
suspiciously looked round into all the corners; with crafty suddenness he cast
a glance behind his back, and then leaning upon his elbows he gazed intently
before him into the melting darkness of the departing night. And then he saw
something, such as ordinary people do not see: the rocking of a monster grey
body, shapeless, terrible. It was transparent, embraced all things, and objects
were seen in it as behind a glass wall. But now he feared it not; and it
departed until the next night, leaving behind it a cold impression.</p>
<p>For a short time he was wrapped in oblivion, and terrible, extraordinary dreams
came to him. He saw a white room, with white floor and walls, illumined by a
bright, white light, and a black serpent which was creeping away under the door
with a gentle rustling-like laughter. Pressing its sharp flat head to the
floor, it wriggled and quickly glided away, and was lost somewhere or other,
and then again its black flattened nose appeared through a crevice under the
door, and its body drew itself out in a black ribbon—and so again and
again. Once in his sleep he dreamed of something pleasant, and laughed, but the
sound seemed strange, and more like a suppressed sob—it was terrible to
hear it—his soul somewhere in the unknown depths laughing, or perhaps
weeping, while the body lay motionless as the dead.</p>
<p>By degrees the sounds of nascent day began to invade his consciousness: the
indistinct talk of passers-by, the distant squeaking of a door, the swish of
the <i>dvornik”s</i> broom as he brushed away the snow from the
window-sill—all the undefined bustle of a great city awakening. And then
there came upon him the most horrible, mercilessly clear consciousness that a
new day had arrived, and that he would soon have to get up, in order to
struggle for life without any hope of victory.</p>
<p>One must live.</p>
<p>He turned his back to the light, threw the blanket over his head, so that not
the minutest ray might penetrate to his eyes, squeezed himself together into a
small ball, drawing his legs up to his very chin, and so lay motionless,
dreading to stir and to stretch out his legs. A whole mountain of clothes lay
upon him as a protection against the cold of the basement, but he did not feel
their weight, and his body remained cold. And at every sound speaking of life
he seemed to himself to be monstrous and unveiled, and he hugged himself
together all the tighter, and silently groaned—neither with voice nor in
thought—since he feared now his own voice and his own thoughts. He prayed
to some one that the day might not come, so that he might always lie under the
heap of rags, without movement or thought, and he concentrated his whole will
to keep back the coming day, and to persuade himself that it was still night.
And more than anything in the world he wished that some one from behind would
put a revolver to the back of his head, just at the place where there is a
cavity, and blow his brains out.</p>
<p>But daylight unfolded, broad, irresistible, calling forcibly to life, and all
the world began to move, to talk, to work, to think. The first in the basement
to wake was the landlady, old Matryona. She got up from the side of her
twenty-five-year-old lover, and began to stamp about the kitchen, clatter with
the buckets, and busy herself about something close to Khinyakov”s very
door. He felt her approach, and lay quiet, determined not to answer if she
called him. But she kept silence, and went away somewhere. In the course of an
hour or two the two other lodgers woke up, an unfortunate named Dunyasha, and
the old woman’s lover Abram Petrovich. He was so called in spite of his
youth out of respect, because he was a daring and skilful thief, and something
else besides, which was guessed at, but not spoken about.</p>
<p>The waking up of these terrified Khinyakov more than anything, since they had a
hold on him, and the right to come in and sit on his bed, to touch him, and
recall him to thought and speech. He had become intimate with Dunyasha one day
when he was drunk, and had promised her marriage, and although she had laughed
and slapped him on the back, she sincerely considered him as her lover, and
patronized him, although she was herself a stupid, dirty, unwashed slut, who
had spent many a night at the police-station. With Abram Petrovich he had only
the day before yesterday been drinking, and they had kissed one another and
sworn eternal friendship.</p>
<p>When the fresh loud voice of Abram Petrovich and his quick steps resounded near
the door, Khinyakov”s heart’s blood curdled with fear and suspense,
and he could not help groaning aloud, and then was all the more frightened. In
one distinct picture that drinking-bout passed before him: how they had sat in
some dark tavern or other, illumined by a single lamp, amid dark people who
kept whispering together about something, while they themselves also whispered
together. Abram Petrovich was pale and excited, and complained of the hardships
of a thief”s life; for some reason or other he had bared his arms and
allowed him to feel the badly-mended bones of his once broken arm, and
Khinyakov had kissed him and said:</p>
<p>“I love thieves, they are so bold,” and proposed to him that they
should drink to “brotherhood,” although they had for long been on
quite intimate terms.</p>
<p>“And I love you, because you are educated, and understand us so
well,” replied Abram Petrovich.</p>
<p>“Look again at my arm; here it is, eh?”</p>
<p>And again the white arm had passed before his eyes, seeming to be sorry for its
own whiteness, and suddenly realizing something (which he did not now remember
or understand), he had kissed that arm, and Abram Petrovich had proudly cried:</p>
<p>“Indeed, brother, death before surrender!”</p>
<p>And then something dirty whirling round and round, howls, whistles, and jumping
lights. Then he had felt cheerful, but now when death was hiding in the
corners, and when day was rushing in upon him from every direction with the
inexorable necessity to live and do something, to struggle after something and
ask for something—he felt tortured and inexpressibly frightened.</p>
<p>“Are you asleep, sir?” Abram Petrovich inquired sarcastically
through the door, and receiving no answer, added:</p>
<p>“Well, then, sleep away; devil take you!”</p>
<p>Many acquaintances visited Abram Petrovich, and throughout the day the door
squeaked on its hinges, and bass voices were to be heard. And it seemed to
Khinyakov at every sound that they were coming for him, and he buried himself
the deeper in his bedclothes, and listened long to catch to whom the voice
belonged. He waited and waited in agony, trembling all over his body, although
there was no one in the whole world who would come to fetch him.</p>
<p>He had once had a wife—long ago—but she was dead. Still further
back in the past he had had brothers and sisters, and still
earlier—something indistinct and beautiful, which he called Mother. All
these were dead, or possibly some one of them might be still alive, only so
lost in the wide, wide world, that he was as though dead. And he himself would
soon be dead too—he knew it. When he should get up to-day his legs would
tremble and give way under him, and his hands would make uncertain strange
motions—and this was death. But meanwhile he must need live, and that is
such a serious task for a man who has neither money, health, nor will, that
Khinyakov was seized with despair. He threw off his blanket, clasped his hands,
and breathed out into the void such prolonged groans, that they seemed to
proceed from a thousand suffering breasts, therefore was it that they were so
full, brimming over with insupportable torture.</p>
<p>“Open, you devil!” cried Dunyasha from the other side of the door,
pounding it with her fists. “Or I’ll break the door down!”</p>
<p>Trembling with tottering steps, Khinyakov reached the door, opened it, and
quickly lay down again, nay almost fell, on his bed. Dunyasha, already
befrizzled and bepowdered, sat down at his side, shoving him against the wall,
and, crossing her legs, said with an air of importance:</p>
<p>“I have brought you news. Katya expired yesterday?”</p>
<p>“What Katya?” asked Khinyakov, using his tongue clumsily and
uncertainly, as though it did not belong to him.</p>
<p>“Come, now, you can’t have forgotten!” laughed Dunyasha.
“The Katya who used to live here. How can you have forgotten her, when
she has been gone only a week?”</p>
<p>“Died?”</p>
<p>“Why, of course died, as all die.” Dunyasha moistened the tip of
her little finger and wiped the powder from her thin eye-lashes.</p>
<p>“What of?”</p>
<p>“What all die of. Who knows what? They told me yesterday at the cafe,
Katya was dead.”</p>
<p>“Did you love her?”</p>
<p>“Certainly I loved her! What are you talking about!”</p>
<p>Dunyasha’s stupid eyes looked at Khinyakov in dull indifference as she
swung her fat leg. She did not know what more to say, and tried to look at him,
as he lay there, in such a manner as to show to him her love, and with that
intent she gently winked her eye, and dropped the corners of her full lips.</p>
<p>The day had begun.</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>That day, a Saturday, the frost was so severe that the boys did not go to
school, and the horse-races were postponed for fear of the horses catching
cold. When Natalya Vladimirovna came out from the lying-in hospital, she was
for the first moment glad that it was evening, that there was no one on the
embankment, that none met her—an unmarried girl, with a six-day-old child
in her arms. It had seemed to her that, as soon as she should cross the
threshold, she would be met by a shouting, hissing crowd, among whom would be
her senile, paralytic, and almost blind father, her acquaintances, students,
officers and their young ladies; and that all these would point the finger at
her and cry:</p>
<p>“There goes a girl who has passed through six classes at the high-school,
had acquaintances among the students both intellectual and of good birth, who
used to blush at a word spoken unadvisedly, and who six days ago gave birth to
a child, in the lying-in hospital, side by side with other fallen women.”</p>
<p>But the embankment was deserted. Along it the icy wind traveled unrestrained,
lifted a grey cloud of snow, ground by the frost into a biting dust, and
covered with it everything living and dead which met it in its path. With a
gentle whistle it wove itself round the metal pillars of the railings, so that
they shone again, and looked so cold and lonely that it was a pain to look at
them. And the girl felt herself to be just such a cold thing, an outcast from
mankind and life. She had on a little short jacket, the one which she usually
wore skating, and which she had hurriedly thrown on when she left her home
suffering the premonitory pains of childbirth. And when the wind seized her,
and wrapped her thin skirt about her ankles, and chilled her head, she began to
fear that she might be frozen to death; and her fear of a crowd disappeared,
and the world expanded into a boundless icy wilderness, in which was neither
man, nor light, nor warmth. Two burning tear-drops gathered in her eyes, and
froze there. Bending her head down, she wiped them away with the formless
bundle she was carrying, and went on faster. Now she no longer loved herself
nor the child, and both lives seemed to her worthless; only certain words,
which had, as it were, sunk into her brain, persistently repeated themselves,
and went before her calling:</p>
<p>“Nyemchinovskaya Street, the second house from the corner.
Nyemchinovskaya Street, the second house from the corner.”</p>
<p>These words she had repeated for six days as she lay on the bed and fed her
infant. They meant, that she must go to Nyemchinovskaya Street, where her
foster-sister, an unfortunate, lived, because only with her could she find an
asylum for herself and her child. A year ago, when all was still well and she
was continually laughing and singing, she had visited Katya, who was ill, and
had helped her with money, and now she was the only human being remaining
before whom she was not ashamed.</p>
<p>“Nyemchinovskaya Street, the second house from the corner.
Nyemchinovskaya Street, the second house from the corner.”</p>
<p>She walked on, and the wind whirled angrily round her; and when she came upon
the bridge it greedily dashed at her bosom, and dug its iron nails into her
cold face. Vanquished, it dropped noisily from the bridge, and circled along
the snow-covered surface of the river, and again swept upwards, overshadowing
the road with cold, trembling wings. Natalya Vladimirovna stood still, and in
utter weakness leaned against the rail. From the depth below there looked up at
her a dull black eye—a spot of unfrozen water—and its gaze was
mysterious and terrible. But before her resounded and called persistently the
words:</p>
<p>“Nyemchinovskaya Street, the second house from the corner.
Nyemchinovskaya Street, the second house from the corner.”</p>
<p>Khinyakov dressed, and lay down again on his bed rolled to the very eyes in a
warm overcoat, his sole remaining possession. The room was cold, there was ice
in the corners, but he breathed into the astrakhan collar, and so became warm
and comfortable. The whole long day he kept deceiving himself, that to-morrow
he would go and seek work, and ask for something; but meanwhile he was content
not to think at all, but merely to tremble at the sound of a raised voice the
other side of the wall, or at the sound of a sharply slammed door. He had lain
long in this way, perfectly still, when at the entrance door he heard an uneven
rapping, timid, and yet hurried and sharp, as if some one was knocking with the
back of the hand. His room was the one next to the entrance door, and by
craning his head and pricking up his ears he could distinguish everything which
took place near it. Matryona went to the door and opened it, let some one in
and closed it again. Then followed an expectant silence.</p>
<p>“Whom do you want?” asked Matryona in a hoarse, unfriendly tone. A
stranger’s voice, gentle and broken, bashfully replied:</p>
<p>“I want Katya Nyechayeva. She lives here?”</p>
<p>“She did. But what do you want with her?”</p>
<p>“I want her very badly. Is she not at home?” and in her voice there
was a note of fear.</p>
<p>“Katya is dead. She died, I say—in the hospital.”</p>
<p>Again there was a long silence, so long indeed that Khinyakov felt a pain at
his back; but he did not dare to move it, while the people there kept silence.</p>
<p>Then the stranger’s voice pronounced gently and without expression, the
one word:</p>
<p>“Good-bye!”</p>
<p>But evidently she did not go away, since in the course of a minute Matryona
asked: “What have you there? Have you brought something for Katya?”</p>
<p>Some one knelt down, striking her knees on the floor, and the stranger’s
voice, convulsed with suppressed sobs, uttered quickly the words:</p>
<p>“Take it, take it! For the love of God, take it! And then
I—I’ll go away.”</p>
<p>“But what is it?”</p>
<p>Again there was a long silence, and then a gentle weeping, broken, and
hopeless. There was in it a deadly weariness, and a black despair, without a
single gleam of hope. It was as though a hand had impotently drawn the bow
across the over-tightened, the last remaining, string of an expensive
instrument, and when the string snapped the soft wailing note had been silenced
for ever.</p>
<p>“Why, you have nearly smothered it!” exclaimed Matryona in a rough,
angry tone. “You see what sort of people undertake to bear children. How
could you do it? Whoever would wrap up babies like that? Come now, come along;
do, I say. How could you do such a thing?”</p>
<p>Once more all was silent near the door.</p>
<p>Khinyakov listened a little longer and then lay down, delighted that no one had
come to fetch him, and not taking the trouble to guess the truth about what he
had not understood in that which had just taken place. He began already to feel
the approach of night, and wished that some one would turn the lamp up higher.
He became restless, and, clenching his teeth, he endeavoured to restrain his
thoughts. In the past there was nothing but mire, falls, and horror,
and—there was the same horror in the future. He was just beginning by
degrees to snuggle himself together, and draw up his hands and feet, when
Dunyasha came in, dressed to go out in a red blouse, and already slightly
intoxicated. She plopped down on the bed, and said with a gesture of surprise:</p>
<p>“Oh Lord!” She shook her head and smiled. “They have brought
a little baby here. Such a tiny one, my friend, but he shouts just like a
police-inspector. Just like a police-inspector!”</p>
<p>She swore whimsically, and coquettishly flipped Khinyakov”s nose.</p>
<p>“Let’s go and see. Why not, indeed! Yes, we’ll just take a
look at him. Matryona is going to bathe it; she is boiling the samovar. Abram
Petrovich is blowing up the charcoal with his boot. How funny it all is. And
the baby is crying: “Wa, wa, wa!””</p>
<p>Dunyasha made a face which she meant to represent the baby, and again went on
puling: ““Wa, wa, wa!” Just like a police-inspector!
Let’s go. Don’t you want to?—well, then devil take you! Turn
up your toes where you are, rotten egg, you!”</p>
<p>And she danced out of the room. But half an hour after Khinyakov, tottering on
his weak legs and hanging on to the doorposts, hesitatingly opened the door of
the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Shut it! You’ve made a draught,” cried Abram Petrovich.</p>
<p>Khinyakov hastily slammed the door behind him, and looked round apologetically;
but no one took any notice of him, so he calmed down. The combined heat of the
stove, the urn, and the company made the kitchen pretty warm, and the vapour
rose, and then rolled down the colder walls in thick drops. Matryona with a
severe and irritated mien was washing the child in a trough, and with
pock-marked hands was splashing the water over him, while she crooned:</p>
<p>“Little lambkin, then, it s’all be clean. It s’all be
white.”</p>
<p>Whether it was because the kitchen was light and cheerful, or because the water
was warm and caressing, at all events the child was quiet, and wrinkled up its
little red face as though about to sneeze. Dunyasha looked at the tub over
Matryona’s shoulder, and seizing her opportunity, splashed the little one
with three fingers.</p>
<p>“Get away!” the old woman cried in a threatening tone, “where
are you coming to? I know what to do without your help. I have had children of
my own.”</p>
<p>“Don’t meddle. She’s quite right, children are such tender
things,” said Abram Petrovich, in support of her; “they want some
handling.”</p>
<p>He sat down on the table, and with condescending satisfaction contemplated the
little rosy body. The baby wriggled its fingers, and Dunyasha with wild delight
wagged her head and laughed.</p>
<p>“Just like a police-inspector!”</p>
<p>“But have you seen a police-inspector in a trough?” asked Abram
Petrovich.</p>
<p>All laughed, and even Khinyakov smiled; but almost immediately the smile left
his face affright, and he looked round at the mother. She was sitting wearily
on the bench, with her head thrown back, and her black eyes, abnormally large
from sickness and suffering, lighted up with a peaceful gleam, and on her pale
lips hovered the proud smile of a mother. And when he saw this Khinyakov burst
into a solitary, belated laugh:</p>
<p>“He! he! he!”</p>
<p>He even looked proudly round on all sides. Matryona took the baby out of the
tub, and wrapped it in a bath-sheet. The child burst into loud crying, but was
soon quieted again, and Matryona, unrolling the sheet, smiled in confusion, and
said:</p>
<p>“What a dear little body, just like velvet.”</p>
<p>“Let me feel,” entreated Dunyasha.</p>
<p>“What next!”</p>
<p>Dunyasha began suddenly to tremble all over, and stamped her feet; choking with
longing, and mad with the desire, which overwhelmed her, she cried in such a
shrill voice as none had ever heard from her:</p>
<p>“Let me! let me!”</p>
<p>“Yes, let her,” entreated Natalya Vladimirovna in a fright. And
Dunyasha just as suddenly became quiet again. She cautiously touched the
child’s little shoulder with two fingers, and following her example,
Abram Petrovich, with a condescending wink, also reached out to that little red
shoulder.</p>
<p>“Yes, indeed, children are tender things,” said he in
self-justification.</p>
<p>Last of all Khinyakov tried it. His fingers felt for a moment the touch of
something living, downy like velvet, and withal so tender and feeble that his
fingers seemed no longer to belong to him, and became as tender as the
something he touched. And thus, craning their necks, and unconsciously lighting
up into a smile of strange happiness, stood the three, the thief, the
prostitute, and the lonely broken man, and that little life, feeble as a
distant light on the steppe, was vaguely calling them somewhither, and
promising them something beautiful, bright, immortal. And the happy mother
looked proudly on, while above the low ceiling the house rose in a heavy mass
of stone, and in the upper flats the rich sauntered about, and yawned with
ennui.</p>
<p>Night had come on, black, malign, as all nights are, and had pitched her tent
in darkness over the distant snowy fields; and the lonely branches of trees
became chilled with fear, just those branches which first welcomed the morning
sun. With feeble artificial light man fought against her, but strong and malign
she girded the isolated lights in a hopeless circle, and filled the hearts of
men with darkness. And in many a heart she extinguished the feeble flickering
sparks.</p>
<p>Khinyakov did not sleep. Huddled up together into a little ball, he hid himself
under a soft heap of rags from the cold and from the night, and wept, without
effort, without pain or convulsion, as those weep whose heart is pure and
without sin, as the heart of a little child. He pitied himself huddled up into
a heap, and it seemed to him that he pitied all mankind and the whole of human
life, and in this feeling there was a secret, profound gladness. He saw the
child, just born, and it seemed to him that he himself was reborn to a new
life, and would live long, and that his life would be beautiful. He loved and
yet pitied this new life, and he felt so happy, that he laughed so that he
shook the heap of rags, and then asked himself:</p>
<p>“Why am I weeping?”</p>
<p>But he could not discover the answer to his own question, and so replied:</p>
<p>“So!”</p>
<p>And such a profound thought was conveyed by this short word, that this wreck of
a man, whose life was so pitiable and lonely, was convulsed with a fresh burst
of scalding tears.</p>
<p>But at his bedside rapacious death was noiselessly taking its seat, and
waiting—quietly, patiently, persistently.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap11"></SPAN>THE CITY</h3>
<p>It was an immense city in which they lived: Petrov, clerk in a commercial bank,
and he, the other,—name unknown.</p>
<p>They used to meet once a year, at Easter, when they both went to pay a visit at
one and the same house, that of the Vasilyevskys. Petrov used to pay a visit
also at Christmas, but probably the other, whom he used to meet, came at
Christmas at a different hour, and so they did not see one another. The first
two or three times Petrov did not notice him among so many visitors, but the
fourth year his face seemed known to him and they greeted one another with a
smile—and the fifth year Petrov proposed to clink glasses with him.</p>
<p>“Your health!” he said politely, and held out his glass.</p>
<p>“Here’s to yours!” the other replied with a smile, and he too
held out his glass.</p>
<p>Petrov did not think of asking his name, and when he went out into the street
he quite forgot his existence, and the whole year never thought of him again.
Every day he went to the bank, where he had been employed for nine years; in
the winter he occasionally went to the theatre; in the summer he visited at the
bungalow of an acquaintance; and twice he was ill with the influenza—the
second time immediately before Easter.</p>
<p>And just as he was mounting the stairs at the Vasilyevskys’, in evening
dress and with his opera-hat under his arm, he remembered that he would see him
there, the other, and felt very much surprised that he could not in the least
recall his face and figure. Petrov himself was below the average height and
somewhat round-shouldered, so that many took him for a hunchback; he had large
black eyes with yellowish whites. In other respects he did not differ from the
rest, who paid a visit to the Vasilyevskys twice a year, and when they forgot
his surname they used to speak of him as the “little hunchback.”</p>
<p>He, the other, was already there, and on the point of going away; but when he
recognized Petrov, he smiled politely, and remained. He was also in evening
dress and had an opera-hat, and Petrov failed to examine him further since he
was occupied with talking, and eating, and drinking tea.</p>
<p>They went out together, and helped one another on with their coats, like
friends: they politely made way the one for the other, and each gave the porter
a half-rouble. They stood still a short time in the street, and then he, the
other, said:</p>
<p>“Well, tipping”s become a regular tax. But it can’t be
helped.”</p>
<p>Petrov replied:</p>
<p>“Yes, quite true.”</p>
<p>And since there was nothing more to be said, they smiled in a friendly manner,
and Petrov said:</p>
<p>“Which way are you going?”</p>
<p>“I turn to the left. And you?”</p>
<p>“I to the right.”</p>
<p>In the cab Petrov remembered that he had again failed either to ask his name,
or to observe him particularly. He turned round: carriages were passing in both
directions, the pavements were black with pedestrians, and in that closely
moving mass it was as impossible to distinguish him, the other, as to find a
particular grain of sand amongst other grains. And again Petrov forgot him, and
did not think of him again for a whole year.</p>
<p>Petrov had lived for many years in the same furnished apartments, and he was
not much liked there, because he was grumpy and irritable; and they also called
him behind his back “Humpty.” He used often to sit in his apartment
alone, and none knew what work he did, since Fedot, the upstairs servant, did
not look on books and letters as “work.” At night Petrov sometimes
went for a walk, and Ivan the porter could not understand these walks, since
Petrov always returned sober, and—alone.</p>
<p>But Petrov used to walk about at night, because he was very much afraid of the
city in which he lived, and he feared it more than ever in the daytime, when
the streets were full of people.</p>
<p>The city was immense and populous, and there was in its populousness and
immensity something stubborn, unconquerable, and callously cruel. With the
colossal weight of its bloated stone houses, it crushed the earth on which it
stood; and the streets between the houses were narrow, crooked, and deep like
fissures in a rock. It seemed as though they were all seized with a panic of
fear, and were endeavouring to run away from the centre to the open country,
and that they could not find the road, and losing their way had rolled
themselves in a ball like a serpent, and were intersecting one another, and
looking back in hopeless despair.</p>
<p>One might walk for hours about these streets, which seemed broken-down, choked,
and faint with a terrible convulsion, and never emerge from the line of fat
stone houses. Some high, others low, some flushed with the cold thin blood of
new bricks, others painted with a dark or light colour, they stood in unswaying
solidity on both sides, callously met, and personally conducted one, and
pressing together in a dense crowd, in this direction and in that, lost their
individuality and become like one another—and the walker grew frightened:
it was as though he had become rooted to the spot, and the houses kept going
past him in an endless truculent file.</p>
<p>Once Petrov was walking quietly about the street, when suddenly he felt what a
thickness of stone houses separated him from the wide, open country, where the
free earth breathed softly in the sunshine, and man’s eyes might look
round to the distant horizon.</p>
<p>It seemed to him that he was suffocating and being blinded, and he felt a
desire to run and get quickly out from the stony embrace—and it became a
horror to him to think, however fast he might run, still houses, ever houses,
would go with him on both sides, and he would be suffocated before he could run
beyond the city. Petrov ensconced himself in the first restaurant he came
across, but even there he seemed for a long time to be suffocating; so he drank
cold water, and wiped his eyes with his handkerchief.</p>
<p>But the most terrible thing of all was, that in all the houses there lived
human beings, and about all the streets were moving human beings. There were a
multitude of them, and all of them were unknown to him—strangers; and all
of them lived their own separate life, hidden from the eyes of others; they
were without interruption being born, and dying, and there was no beginning nor
end to this stream. Whenever Petrov went to the bank, or out for a walk, he saw
the same familiar, well-known houses, and everything appeared to him simply an
old acquaintance; if, however, he stood still, but for a moment, to fix his
attention on some face, then all was quickly and terribly changed. With a
feeling of terror and impotence Petrov would look at all the faces, and
understand that he saw them for the first time, that yesterday he had seen
other people, and to-morrow would see yet others; and so always, every day, and
every minute, he would see new, unknown faces. There was a stout gentleman, at
whom Petrov glanced, disappearing round the corner—and never would Petrov
see him again. Even if he wished to find him, he might search for him all his
life, and never succeed.</p>
<p>And Petrov feared the immense, callous city.</p>
<p>This year again Petrov had the influenza, very severely with a complication,
and he was frequently afflicted with cold in the head.</p>
<p>Moreover, the doctor found that he had catarrh of the stomach, and the next
Easter, as he was going to the Vasilyevskys’, he thought on the way of
what he should eat there. When he recognized him, the other, he was pleased and
informed him:</p>
<p>“My dear sir, I have a catarrh.”</p>
<p>He, the other, shook his head sympathetically, and replied:</p>
<p>“You don’t say so!”</p>
<p>And once more Petrov did not inquire his name, but he began to look upon him as
quite an old acquaintance, and thought of him with pleasurable feelings.
“Him,” he named him, but when he wanted to recall his face, he
could only conjure up an evening coat, white waistcoat, and a smile; and since
he could not in the least recollect the face, it inevitably appeared as though
the coat and waistcoat smiled. That summer Petrov went out very frequently to a
certain bungalow, wore a red neck-tie, dyed his moustache, and said to Fedot
that in the autumn he should change his quarters; but afterwards he gave up
going to the bungalow, and took to drink for a whole month. He managed his
drinking clumsily—with tears and scenes. Once he broke the mirror in his
room; another time he frightened a certain lady. He invaded her apartment in
the evening, fell on his knees and proposed to her. This fair unknown was a
courtesan, and at first listened to him attentively and even laughed, but when
he began to weep and complain of his loneliness, she took him for a madman, and
began to scream with terror. As they led him away, supporting himself against
Fedot, he pulled his hair and cried:</p>
<p>“We are all men, all brethren!”</p>
<p>They had decided to get rid of him; but he gave up drinking, and once more the
porter swore at having to open and shut the door for him. At New Year Petrov
received an increase of 100 roubles <i>per annum,</i> and he changed into a
neighbouring apartment, which was five roubles dearer, and had windows looking
into the courtyard, Petrov thought that there he would not hear the rumbling of
the street traffic, and might even forget what a multitude of unknown strangers
surrounded him, and lived their own particular lives in proximity to him.</p>
<p>In the winter it was quiet in his rooms, but when spring came, and the snow was
removed from the streets, the rumble of the traffic began again, and the double
walls were no protection from it.</p>
<p>In the daytime, while he was occupied with something, and himself moved about
and made a noise, he did not notice the rumbling, though it never ceased for a
moment; but when night came on and all became quiet in the house, then the
noisy street forced its way into the dark chamber, and deprived it of all quiet
and privacy. The jarring and disjointed sounds of individual vehicles were
heard; an indistinct, slight sound would come to life somewhere in the
distance, grow louder and clearer, and by degrees lie down again, and in its
place would be heard a new one, and so on and on without intermission.
Sometimes only the hoofs of the horses struck the ground evenly and
rhythmically, and there was no sound of wheels—this was when a calèche
went by on rubber tyres; but often the noise of individual vehicles would blend
into a terrible loud rumble, which made the stone walls tremble slightly, and
set the bottles vibrating in the cupboard. And all this was caused by human
beings! They sat in hired and private carriages, they drove no one knew whence
or whither, they disappeared into the unknown depths of the immense city, and
in their place appeared fresh people, other human beings, and there was no end
to this incessant movement, so terrible in its incessancy. And every passer-by
was a separate microcosm, with his own rules and aims of life, with his own
affinity, whom he loved, with his own separate joys and sorrows, and each was
like a ghost, which appeared for a moment and then disappeared inexplicably and
unrecognized. And the more people there were, who were unknown to one another,
the more terrible became the solitude of each. And during those black, rumbling
nights Petrov often felt inclined to cry out in fear, and to betake himself to
the deep cellar, in order to be there perfectly alone. There one might think
only of those one knew, and not feel oneself so infinitely alone among a
multitude of strange people.</p>
<p>At Easter, he, the other, did not turn up at the Vasilyevskys’, and
Petrov did not observe his absence until the end of his call, when he had begun
to make his adieux, and failed to meet the well-known smile. And he felt a
disquiet at heart, and suddenly was conscious of a painful longing to see him,
the other, and to say something to him about his loneliness and his nights. But
he had only a very slight recollection of the man whom he sought; only that he
was of middle age, fair apparently, and always in evening dress; but by this
description the Vasilyevskys could not guess of whom he was speaking.</p>
<p>“So many people pay us a visit on Festivals, that we do not know the
surnames of all,” said Madame. “However——was it
Syomenov?”</p>
<p>And she counted one by one on her fingers several surnames: “Smirnov,
Antonov, Nikiphorov;” and then without the surname: “The bald man,
in the civil service, the post office I think; the one with the light brown
hair; the one quite grey.” And none of them were the one after whom
Petrov was inquiring—though they might have been. And so he was not
discovered.</p>
<p>This year nothing particular happened in the life of Petrov, except that his
eyesight deteriorated and he had to take to glasses. At night, when the weather
was fine, he went walking, and chose the quiet, deserted bye-streets for his
peregrinations. But even there people were to be met, whom he had never seen
before, and never would see again; and the houses towered on either side in a
dull wall, and inside they were full of persons utterly unknown to him, who
slept, and talked and quarrelled: some one was dying behind those walls, and
close to him a fresh human being was coming into the world, to be lost for a
time in its ever-moving infinity, and then to die for ever. In order to console
himself, Petrov would count over all his acquaintances; and their neighbourly
familiar faces were like a wall which separated him from infinity. He
endeavoured to remember all; the porters, shop-keeper, cabmen that he knew,
also passers-by whom he casually remembered; and at first he seemed to know
very many people, but when he began to count them up, the number became
terribly small: all his life long he had only known 250 people, including him,
the other. And these were all who were known and neighbourly to him in the
world. Possibly there were people whom he had known, and forgotten; but that
was just as though they did not exist.</p>
<p>He, the other, was very glad, when he recognized Petrov the next Easter. He had
a new dress suit on, and new boots which creaked, and he said as he pressed
Petrov”s hand:</p>
<p>“But, you know, I almost died. I was seized with inflammation of the
lungs, and even now there is there”—and he tapped himself on the
side—“something the matter with the upper part, I believe.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for you,” said Petrov with sincere sympathy.</p>
<p>They talked about various ailments, and each spoke of his own, and when they
separated they did so with a prolonged pressure of the hand, but they quite
forgot to ask each other’s name. The following Easter it was Petrov who
did not put in an appearance at the Vasilyevskys’, and he, the other, was
much disquieted, and inquired of Madame Vasilyevsky who the little hunchback
was who visited them.</p>
<p>“I know what his surname is,” said she, “it is Petrov.”</p>
<p>“But what are his Christian name and his father’s?”</p>
<p>Madame Vasilyevsky would willingly have told his name, but it seems she did not
know it, and was very much surprised at the fact. Neither did she know in what
office Petrov was, perhaps the post office or some bank.</p>
<p>The next time he, the other, did not appear.</p>
<p>The time after both came, but at different hours, so they did not meet. And
then they altogether left off putting in an appearance, and the Vasilyevskys
never saw them again, and did not even give them a thought; for so many people
visited them, and they could not possibly remember them all.</p>
<p>The immense city grew still bigger, and there, where the broad fields had
stretched, irrepressible new streets lengthened out, and on both sides of them
stout, multi-coloured stone houses crushed heavily the ground on which they
stood. And to the seven cemeteries which had before existed in the city was
added a new one, the eighth. In it there was no greenery at all, and meanwhile
they buried in it only paupers.</p>
<p>And when the long autumn night drew on, it became still in the cemetery, and
there reached it only in distant echoes the rumbling of the street traffic,
which ceased not day nor night.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap12"></SPAN>THE MARSEILLAISE</h3>
<p>He was a nonentity, with the soul of a hare and the shameless endurance of a
beast of burden. When the malicious irony of fate cast his lot in among our
black ranks, we laughed like maniacs at the thought that such absurd inept
mistakes could actually be made. As for him, well—he cried. And never
have I met with a man of so many tears, flowing so freely—from eyes and
nose and mouth. He was like a sponge saturated with water, and then squeezed.
In our ranks I have seen, indeed, men who wept, but then their tears were fire,
from which even fierce wild beasts would run away. These manly tears aged the
faces, but made the eyes young again. Like lava released from the red-hot
bowels of the earth, they burnt an indelible track, and buried under themselves
whole cities of worthless devices and shallow cares. But when this fellow began
to weep, only his nose grew red, and his handkerchief became wet. Probably he
used to hang out his handkerchiefs on a line to dry; how otherwise could he
have supplied himself with so many?</p>
<p>During the whole time of exile he was continually applying to the authorities,
real and imaginary, bowing, and weeping, and swearing that he was innocent,
entreating them to have pity upon his youth, and promising all his life never
to open his mouth except in petition and gratitude. But they laughed at him,
even as did we, and called him “the wretched little pig,” and would
call out to him:</p>
<p>“Piggy, come here!”</p>
<p>And he would obediently run to their cell, expecting each time to hear news of
his restoration to his native land. But they were only joking. They knew, as
well as we did, that he was innocent. But they thought by his torments to
intimidate other little pigs, as though they were not cowardly enough already.
He would also come to us, impelled by an animal dread of solitude. But our
faces were stern, and locked against him, and in vain he sought for the key. At
an utter loss what to do, he would call us his dear comrades and friends. But
we would shake our heads and say:</p>
<p>“Look out! Some one will hear you!”</p>
<p>And he was not ashamed to glance round at the door—the little pig!</p>
<p>Well! Could we possibly contain ourselves? No, we laughed with mouths long
accustomed to laughter. Then he, emboldened and comforted, would sit down
nearer to us, and converse, and weep about his dear books, which he had left
upon the table, and about his mamma and little brothers, of whom he did not
know whether they were alive or dead of fear and grief.</p>
<p>Towards the end we refused to associate with him any longer. When the
hunger-strike began he was seized with terror—the most inexpressibly
comical terror. He was evidently very fond of his stomach, poor little pig, and
he was terribly afraid of his dear comrades, and also of the authorities. He
wandered about among us in a state of perturbation, continually passing his
handkerchief over his forehead, upon which something had exuded—was it
tears or perspiration? Then he asked me in an irresolute manner:</p>
<p>“Shall you starve long?”</p>
<p>“For a long time,” I sternly replied.</p>
<p>“But will you not eat anything on the sly?”</p>
<p>“Our mammas will send us pies,” I acquiesced in all seriousness. He
looked at me in doubt, nodded his head and went away with a sigh. The next day,
green as a paroquet with fear, he answered:</p>
<p>“Dear comrades! I also will starve with you.”</p>
<p>We replied with one voice: “Starve by yourself!”</p>
<p>And he did starve! We did not believe it, just as you will not believe it: we
thought that he ate something on the sly, and so too thought our guards. And
when towards the end of the strike he fell ill of famine-typhus, we only
shrugged our shoulders and said:</p>
<p>“Poor little Pig!”</p>
<p>But one of us—he who never laughed—said grimly: “He is our
comrade, let us go to him.”</p>
<p>He was delirious, and his incoherent ravings were as piteous as the whole of
his life. He talked of his dear books, of his mamma and brothers; he asked for
tarts, cold as ice, tasty tarts; and he swore that he was innocent, and begged
for pardon. He called on his native country—his dear France, and damn the
weakness of the human heart! he rent our souls with that cry of “Dear
France.”</p>
<p>We were all in the room when he lay a-dying. He recovered his consciousness
before death, and silent he lay, so small, so weak; and silent stood we his
comrades’. We all to a man heard him say: “When I am dead sing over
me the Marseillaise.”</p>
<p>“What dost thou say?” we exclaimed, with a shock of mingled joy and
rising anger.</p>
<p>He repeated: “When I am dead sing over me the Marseillaise.”</p>
<p>And it happened for the first time that his eyes were dry, but we wept, wept
one and all: and our tears burned like fire from which fierce wild-beasts do
flee.</p>
<p>He died, and we sang over him the Marseillaise. With lusty young voices we sang
that great song of freedom; and threateningly the ocean re-echoed it to us, and
the crests of its waves bore to his dear France pale terror, and blood-red
hope.</p>
<p>And he became ever our watchword, that nonentity with the body of a hare, and
of a beast of burden—but with the great soul of a man! On your knees,
comrades and friends!</p>
<p>We sang! At us the rifles were aimed, while their locks clicked ominously, and
the sharp points of the bayonets were menacingly turned towards our hearts. But
ever louder and more joyfully resounded the threatening song, while the black
coffin swayed in the tender hands of stalwarts.</p>
<p>We sang the Marseillaise!</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap13"></SPAN>THE TOCSIN</h3>
<h4>I</h4>
<p>During that hot and ill-omened summer everything was burning. Whole towns,
villages and hamlets were consumed; forests and fields were no longer a
protection to them, but even the forests themselves submissively burst into
flame, and the fire spread like a red table-cloth over the parched meadows.
During the day the dim red sun was hidden in acrid smoke, but at night-time in
all quarters of the sky a quiet red-glow burst forth, which rocked in silent,
fantastic dance; and strange confused shadows of men and trees crept over the
ground like some unknown species of reptile. The dogs ceased their welcoming
bark, which from afar calls to the traveller and promises him a roof and
hospitality, and either uttered a prolonged melancholy howl, or crept into the
cellar in sullen silence. And men, like dogs, looked at one another with evil,
frightened eyes, and spoke aloud of arson, and secret incendiaries. Indeed, in
one remote village they had killed an old man who could not give a satisfactory
account of his movements, and then the women had wept over the murdered man,
and pitied his grey beard all matted with dark blood.</p>
<p>During this hot and ill-omened summer I lived at the house of a country squire,
where were many women, young and old. By day we worked and talked, and thought
little of conflagrations, but when night came on we were seized with fear. The
owner of the property was often absent in the town. Then for whole nights we
slept not a wink, but in fear and trembling made our rounds of the homestead in
search of an incendiary. We huddled close together and spoke in whispers; but
the night was still, and the buildings stood out in dark, unfamiliar masses.
They seemed to us as strange, as if we had never seen them before, and terribly
unstable, as though they were expecting the fire and were already ripe for it.
Once, through a crack in the wall, there gleamed before us something bright. It
was the sky, but we thought it was a fire, and with screams the womenkind
rushed to me, who was still almost a boy, and entreated my protection.</p>
<p>But I—held my breath for fear, and could not move a step.</p>
<p>Sometimes in the depth of night I would rise from my hot, tumbled bed and creep
through the window into the garden. It was an ancient, formal and stately
garden, so protected that it answered the very fiercest storm with nothing more
than a suppressed drone. Below it was dark and deadly still as at the bottom of
an abyss; but above there was a continual indistinct rustling and sound, like
the far-off speech of the steppe. Concealing myself from some one, who seemed
to be following at my heels, and looking over my shoulder, I would make my way
to the end of the garden, where upon a high bank stood a wattle-fence, and
beyond the fence far below extended fields and forests and hamlets hidden in
the darkness. Lofty, gloomy, silent lime-trees opened out before me, and
between their thick black stems, through the interstices of the fence, and
through the space between the leaves I could see something terrible,
extraordinary, which would fill my heart with an uneasy dread feeling, and make
my legs twitch with a slight tremor. I could see the sky, not the dark, still
sky of night, but rosy-red, such as is neither by day nor night. The mighty
limes stood grave and silent, like men expecting something, but the sky was
unnaturally rosy, and the ominous reflection of the burning earth beneath
darted in fiery red spasms about the sky. And curling columns would go slowly
up and disappear in the height; and it was a puzzle, as strangely unnatural as
the pink colouring of the sky, how they could be so silent, when below all was
gnashing of teeth; how they could be so unhurried and stately there above, when
everything was tossing in restless confusion here below.</p>
<p>As though coming to themselves the lofty limes would all at once begin to talk
together with their tops, and then suddenly relapse into silence, congealed, as
it were, for a long time in sullen expectation. It would become still as at the
bottom an abyss, while far behind me I felt conscious of the house on the
alert, full of frightened people; the limes crowded watchfully around me, and
in front silently rocked a rose-red sky, such as is not nor by night nor day.</p>
<p>And because I saw it not as a whole, but only through the interstices between
the trees, it was all the more terrible and incomprehensible.</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>It was night and I was dosing restlessly, when there reached my ear a dull
staccato sound, rising as it seemed from below the ground; it penetrated my
brain, and settled there like a round stone. After it another forced its way
in, equally short and dolorous, and my head became heavy and sick, as though
molten lead were falling upon it in thick drops. The drops kept boring and
burning into my brain; they became ever more and more, and soon they were
filling my head with a dripping rain of impetuous staccato sounds.</p>
<p>“Boom! boom! boom!” Some one tall, strong and impatient kept
jerking out from afar.</p>
<p>I opened my eyes, and at once understood that it was the alarm-bell, and that
Slobodishtchy, the next village, was on fire. It was dark in the room and the
window was closed, and yet at the terrible call the whole room, with its
furniture, pictures and flowers, went out, as it were, into the street, and no
longer was one conscious of wall or ceiling.</p>
<p>I do not remember how I got dressed, and know not why I ran alone and not with
the others; whether it was that they forgot me, or I did not remember their
existence. The tocsin called persistently and dully, as though its sounds were
falling, not from the transparent air, but were cast forth from the
immeasurable thickness of the earth. I ran on.</p>
<p>Amid the rosy sheen of the sky the stars twinkled above my head, and in the
garden it was strangely light, such as is neither by day, nor by majestic,
moon-lit night, but when I reached the hedge something bright-red, seething,
tossing desperately, looked up at me through the fissures. The lofty limes, as
though sprinkled with blood, trembled in their rounded leaves, and turned them
back in fear, but their sound was inaudible on account of the short, loud
strokes of the swinging bell. Now the sounds became clear and distinct, and
flew with mad speed like a swarm of red-hot stones. They did not circle in the
air like the doves of the peaceful angelus, neither did they expand in the
caressing waves of the solemn call to prayer; they flew straight like grim
harbingers of woe, who have no time to glance backward and whose eyes are wide
with terror.</p>
<p>“Boom! boom! boom!” they flew with unrestrainable impetuosity, the
strong overtaking the weak, and all of them together delving into the earth and
piercing the sky.</p>
<p>And, as straight as they, I ran over the immense tilled plain, which faintly
scintillated with blood-red gleams like the scales of a great black wild-beast.
Above my head, at a wonderful height, bright isolated sparks floated by, and in
front was one of those terrible village conflagrations, in which in one
holocaust perish houses, cattle and human beings. There behind the irregular
line of dark trees now round, now sharp as pikes, the dazzling flame soared
aloft, arched its neck proudly, like a maddened horse, leaped, threw burning
flocks from its midst into the black sky, and then greedily stooped for fresh
prey. The blood surged in my ears with the swiftness of my running, and my
heart beat loud and rapidly; but the irregular strokes of the tocsin overtook
my heart-beats and struck me full on head and breast. And so full of despair
was it that it seemed not the clanging of a metal bell, but as though the very
heart of the much-suffering earth were beating wildly in the agony of death.</p>
<p>“Boom! boom! boom!” the red-hot conflagration ejaculated. And it
was difficult to realize that the church belfry, so small and slight, so
peaceful and still, like a maiden in a pink dress, could be giving forth those
loud, despairing cries.</p>
<p>I kept falling down on my hands against clods of dry earth, which scattered
beneath them, and again I would rise and run on, and the fire and the summoning
sound of the bell ran to meet me. One could already hear the wood crackling as
it caught fire, and the many-voiced cry of human beings with the dominating
notes of despair and terror. And when the serpent-like hissing of the fire
ceased for a moment, a prolonged groaning became clearly differentiated: it was
the wailing of women, and the bellowing of cattle in a panic of terror.</p>
<p>A swamp intercepted my path. A wide, weed-grown swamp, which ran far to right
and left. I went into the water up to my knees, then to the breast, but the
swamp began to suck me down, and I returned to the bank. Opposite, quite close,
raged the fire, throwing up into the sky golden sparks like the burning leaves
of a gigantic tree: while the water of the swamp stood out like a mirror
sparkling with fire in a black frame of reed and sedge. The tocsin called,
despairingly in deadly agony:</p>
<p>“Come! do come!”</p>
<h4>III</h4>
<p>I flung along the strand, and my dark shadow flung after me, and when I stooped
down to the water to find a bottom, the spectre of a fire-red form gazed at me
from the black abyss, and in the distorted lineaments of its face, and in its
dishevelled hair, which seemed as though it were lifted up upon the head by
some terrific force, I failed to recognize myself.</p>
<p>“Ah! what is it? O Lord!” I prayed with outstretched hands.</p>
<p>But the tocsin kept calling. The bell no longer entreated, it shouted like a
human being, and groaned and choked. The strokes had lost their regularity, and
piled themselves one on the top of the other, rapidly and without echo; they
died down, were reproduced and again died down. Once more I bent down to the
water, and alongside of my own reflection I perceived another fiery spectre,
tall and erect, and to my horror just like a human being.</p>
<p>“What’s that?” I screamed, looking round. Close to my
shoulder stood a man looking at the conflagration in silence. His face was
pale, his cheeks were covered with still moist blood, which gleamed as it
reflected the fire. He was dressed simply, like a peasant. Possibly he had been
already here when I ran up, and had been stopped like myself by the swamp, or
possibly he may have arrived after me; but at all events I had not heard his
approach, nor did I know who he was.</p>
<p>“It burns,” said he, without removing his eyes from the fire. The
reflected fire leapt in them, and they seemed large and glassy.</p>
<p>“Who are you? Where do you come from?” I asked; “you are all
bloody.” With long, thin fingers he touched my cheeks, looked at them,
and again fixed his gaze upon the fire.</p>
<p>“It burns,” he repeated, without paying any attention to me.
“Everything is burning.”</p>
<p>“Do you know how to get there?” I asked, drawing back. I guessed
that this was one of the many maniacs, which this ill-omened summer had
produced.</p>
<p>“It burns!” he replied; “ho! ho! don’t it burn!”
he cried, laughing, and looked at me kindly, wagging his head. The hurried
strokes of the tocsin suddenly stopped, and the flame crackled louder. It moved
like a living thing, and with long arms, as though weary, dragged itself to the
silent belfry, which now seemed near and tall, and clothed no longer in pink
but in red. Above the dark loop-hole, where the bells were hung, there appeared
a timid quiet tongue of fire, like the flame of a candle, and was reflected in
pale rays on their metal surface. Once more the bell began to tremble, sending
forth its last madly-despairing cries, and once more I flung myself along the
shore, and my black shadow flung after me.</p>
<p>“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I cried, as though in reply
to some one calling me. But the tall man was quietly seated behind me,
embracing his knees, and kept singing a loud secondo to the bell: “Boom!
boom! boom!”</p>
<p>“Are you mad?” I shouted to him. But he only sang the louder and
the merrier, “Boom! boom! boom!”</p>
<p>“Be quiet!” I entreated. But he smiled and sang on, wagging his
head, and the fire flared up in his glassy eyes. He was more terrible than the
fire, this maniac, and I turned round and took to flight along the shore. But I
had scarcely gone a few steps, when his lanky figure appeared silently
alongside of me, his shirt fluttering in the wind. He ran in silence, even as I
did, with long untiring strides, and in silence our black shadows ran along the
upturned field.</p>
<p>The bell was suffocating in its last death-struggle and cried out like a human
being who, despairing of assistance, has lost all hope. And we ran on in
silence aimlessly into the darkness, and close to us our black shadows leapt
mockingly.</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap14"></SPAN>BARGAMOT AND GARASKA</h3>
<p>It would be unjust to say that Nature had injured Ivan Akindinich Bargamotov,
who in his official capacity was called “Constable No. 20,” and
unofficially simply Bargamotov. The inhabitants of one of the outskirts of the
provincial towns of Orel, who in their turn were nicknamed
“gunners,” from the name of their abode (Gunner Street) and, from
the moral side were characterized as “broken-headed gunners,” when
they dubbed Ivan Akindinovich “Bargamot,” were without doubt not
thinking of the qualities which belong to such a delicate and delicious fruit
as the <i>bergamot.</i> By his exterior Bargamot reminded one rather of the
mastodon, or of any of those engaging, but extinct creatures, which for want of
room have long ago deserted a world already filling up with flaccid little
humans. Tall, stout, strong, loud-voiced Bargamot loomed big on the police
horizon, and certainly would long ago have attained notable rank, if only his
soul, compressed within those stout walls, had not been sunk in an heroic
sleep.</p>
<p>Outward impressions in passing to Bargamot’s soul by means of his little
fat-encased eyes, lost all their sharpness and force, and arrived at their
destination only in the form of feeble echoes and reflexions. A person of
sublime requirements would have called him a lump of flesh; his superior
officers called him a “stock,” but a useful one—while to the
“gunners,” the persons most interested in this question, he was a
staid, serious matter-of-fact man, one worthy of every respect and
consideration. What Bargamot knew he knew well, were it only a
policeman’s instructions, which he had assimilated some time or other
with all the energy of his mighty frame, and which had sunk so deep into his
sluggish brain, that it would have been impossible to rout them out again, even
with vitriol. Nevertheless certain truths occupied a permanent position in his
soul, truths acquired by way of life’s experience, and unconditionally
dominating the situation.</p>
<p>Of that which Bargamot did not know he kept such an imperturbably stolid
silence, that people who did know it became somehow or other somewhat ashamed
of their knowledge. But the chief point was this that Bargamot was enormously
powerful; and might was right in Gunner Street, a slum inhabited by shoemakers,
tailors who worked at home, and the representatives of other
“liberal” professions. Owning two public houses, uproarious on
Sundays and Mondays, Gunner Street devoted all its leisure hours to Homeric
fights, in which the women, bare-headed and dishevelled, took immediate part
(as they separated their husbands), and also the little children, who gazed
with delight on the daring of their papas.</p>
<p>All this rough wave of drunken “gunners” beat against the immovable
Bargamot as against a stone breakwater, while he would deliberately seize with
his mighty hands a pair of the most desperate rowdies and personally conduct
them to the “lock-up,” and the rowdies would obediently submit
their fate to the hands of Bargamot, protesting merely for the sake of
appearances.</p>
<p>Such was Bargamot in the domain of international relations. In the sphere of
home politics he held himself with no less dignity. The small tumble-down
cottage, in which Bargamot lived with his wife and two young children, and
which with difficulty afforded room for his mighty body, and trembled with
craziness and with fear for its own existence whenever Bargamot turned round,
might be at ease, if not with regard to its own wooden structure, at all events
in respect of the family unity.</p>
<p>Domestic, careful, and fond of digging in his garden on free days, Bargamot was
severe. He instructed his wife and children through the same medium of physical
influence, not conforming so much to the actual requirement of science as to
certain indefinite prescriptions on that score which existed in the
ramifications of his big head. This did not prevent his wife Marya, who was
still a young and handsome woman, on the one hand from respecting her husband
as a steady, sober man, and on the other, in spite of all his massiveness, from
twisting him round her finger with that ease and force of which only weak women
are capable.</p>
<p>At about ten o’clock on a warm spring evening Bargamot stood at his usual
post at the corner of Gunner Street and the 3rd Garden Street. He was in a bad
humour. To-morrow was Easter Day, and soon people would be going to church,
while he would have to stand on duty till 3 o’clock in the morning, and
would only get home in time for the conclusion of the fast. Bargamot did not
feel any need of prayer, but the bright holiday air which permeated the
unusually peaceful and quiet street affected even him.</p>
<p>He did not like the spot on which he had stood still every day for a matter of
ten years. He felt a desire to do something of a holiday character such as
others were doing. And in view of these uneasy feelings there arose within him
a certain discontent and impatience. Moreover he was hungry. His wife had given
him no dinner at all that day, and so he had had to put up with a few sups of
<i>kvass</i> and bread. His great stomach was insistently demanding food; and
how long it was still to the conclusion of the fast!</p>
<p>Ptu!—spat Bargamot, as he made a cigarette and began reluctantly to suck
at it. At home he had some good cigarettes, presented to him by a local
shop-keeper, but he was reserving them till the conclusion of the fast.</p>
<p>Soon the “gunners” drew along towards the church, clean and
respectable in jackets and waistcoats over red and blue flannel shirts, and in
long boots with innumerable creases, and high pointed heels. To-morrow all this
splendour was destined to disappear behind the counter of the
“pub,” or to be torn in pieces in a friendly struggle for harmony.</p>
<p>But for to-day the “gunners” were resplendent. Each one carefully
carried a parcel of paschal cakes. None took any notice of Bargamot, neither
did he look with especial love on his “god-children,” and uneasily
prognosticated how many times he would have to make a journey to-morrow to the
police station.</p>
<p>In fact, he was jealous that they were free and could go where it was bright,
noisy and cheerful, while he was stuck there like a penitent.</p>
<p>“Here I have to stand because of you, drunkards,” muttered he,
summing up his thoughts, and spat once more—he felt a hollow in the pit
of his stomach.</p>
<p>The street was becoming empty. The Eucharistic bell had ceased. Then the joyful
changes of the treble peal, so cheerful after the melancholy tolling of the
Lenten bells, spread over the world the joyful news of Christ’s
resurrection. Bargamot took off his hat and crossed himself. Soon he would be
going home. He became more cheerful as he imagined to himself the table laid
with a clean cloth, the paschal cakes and the eggs. He would without hurry give
to all the Easter salutation. They would wake up Jack and bring him in, and he
would at once demand the coloured egg, about which he had held circumstantial
conversations the whole week through with his more experienced little sister.
Oh, how he’ll open wide his mouth when his father brings him, not the
bright dyed egg, but the real marble one, which the same obliging shop-keeper
had presented to Bargamot!</p>
<p>“Dear little chap!” said Bargamot with a smile, feeling a sort of
paternal tenderness welling up from the depths of his soul.</p>
<p>But Bargamot’s placidity was broken in on in the most abject manner.
Round the corner were heard uneven footsteps and low mutterings.</p>
<p>“Who the devil is coming here?” thought Bargamot, looking round the
corner and feeling injured in his very soul.</p>
<p>“Garaska! Yes, drunk as usual! Well, that’s a finisher!”</p>
<p>It was a mystery to Bargamot how Garaska could have managed to get drunk before
daylight, but of the fact of his drunkenness there was no doubt. His behaviour,
mysterious as it would have been to an outsider, was perfectly clear to
Bargamot, who was well acquainted with the “Gunner” soul in
general, and with the low nature of Garaska in particular. Attracted by an
irresistible force from the middle of the street, in which he had the habit of
walking, he was pressed close to the hoarding. Supporting himself with both
hands, and contemplating the wall with a concentrated air of inquiry, Garaska
staggered, while he gathered up his strength for a fresh struggle with any
unexpected impediments he might meet with.</p>
<p>After a short but intense meditation he pushed himself energetically from the
wall, and staggered backwards into the middle of the street, made a deliberate
turn, and set out with long strides into space, which turned out to be not
quite so endless as it has been said to be, but was in fact bounded by a mass
of lamps.</p>
<p>With the first of these, Garaska came into the closest relations, and clasped
it in the firm embrace of friendship.</p>
<p>“A lamp! Stop!” said he curtly, as he established the accomplished
fact. Quite unusually, of course, Garaska was in an excessively good humour.
Instead of heaping well-deserved objurgations upon the lamp-post he turned to
it with mild reproaches, which contained some touches of familiarity.</p>
<p>“Stand still, you silly ass, where are you going to?” he muttered
as he staggered away from the lamp-post, and again fell with his whole chest
upon it, almost flattening his nose against its cold damp surface.</p>
<p>“That’s right! eh?” and by clinging with half his length
along the post he managed to hold on, and sank into a reverie.</p>
<p>Bargamot contemptuously compressed his lips, as he looked down on Garaska from
his superior height. Nobody annoyed him so much in the whole of Gunner Street
as this wretched toper. To look at him—one would not have thought there
was any strength in him, and yet he was the greatest scandal in the whole
neighbourhood.</p>
<p>He’s not a man, but an ulcer! A “gunner” gets drunk, makes a
disturbance, spends the night in the lock-up, and he gets over all this like a
gentleman—but Garaska always does it stealthily, and of malice prepense.
He may be beaten half to death or nearly starved at the police station, still
they can never break him of bad language, of his most offensively foul tongue.</p>
<p>He will stand under the windows of any of the most respectable people in Gunner
Street, and begin to swear without rhyme or reason. The shopmen seize Garaska
and beat him—the crowd laughs and advises them to give it him hot.
Garaska would revile even Bargamot himself in such fantastically realistic
language, that without understanding all the subtleties of his wit, he felt
himself more insulted, than if he had been whipped.</p>
<p>How Garaska got his living, remained to the “gunners” one of those
mysteries which enveloped his whole existence. Certainly no one had ever seen
him sober. He lived, or rather camped about in the orchards, or the river-bank,
or under shrubs. In winter he disappeared to somewhere or other, and with the
first breath of spring he reappeared. What attracted him to Gunner Street,
where it was every one’s business to beat him, was again a profound
mystery of Garaska’s soul, but get rid of him they could not. They
strongly suspected, and that not without reason, that he was a thief, but they
could not take him in the act, so he was beaten on merely circumstantial
evidence.</p>
<p>On this occasion Garaska had evidently a difficult path to negotiate. The rags,
which made a pretence of seriously covering his emaciated body, were all over
still undried mud.</p>
<p>His face, with its big, bulbous red nose, which was incontestably one of the
causes of his unstable equilibrium, was covered with an irregularly distributed
watery growth, and gave substantial evidence of its close relations with
alcohol and a neighbour’s fist. On his cheek near the eye was a scratch
of evidently recent origin.</p>
<p>He succeeded at last in parting company with the lamp-post, and when he
observed the dignified silent figure of Bargamot he was overjoyed.</p>
<p>“Our best respects to you, Bargamot Bargamotich—we hope we see you
well!” said he with a polite wave of his hand, but he staggered, and was
fain to prop himself up with his back against the lamp-post.</p>
<p>“Where are you going to?” growled Bargamot saturninely.</p>
<p>“We’re orl righ’!”</p>
<p>“On the old lay, eh? Or do you want a doss in the cells. You wretch,
I’ll run you in at once.”</p>
<p>“No, you don’t!”</p>
<p>Garaska was just going to make a gesture of defiance, when he wisely restrained
himself, spat and rubbed his foot about on the ground, as though to rub out the
spittle.</p>
<p>“You can talk when you get to the police station! March!”</p>
<p>Bargamot’s mighty hand stretched out to Garaska’s collar, so greasy
in fact that it was evident that Bargamot was not his first guide on the thorny
path of well-doing. Giving the drunken man a slight shake, and propelling his
body in the required direction, and at the same time giving it a certain
stability, Bargamot dragged him towards the above-mentioned gaol, just as a
strong hawser might tow after it a very light schooner, which had met with an
accident outside the harbour. He considered himself deeply injured, instead of
enjoying his well-earned rest, to have to drag himself with this drunkard to
the station.</p>
<p>Ugh! Bargamot’s hands itched—but the consciousness that on such a
high festival it would be unseemly to let them have their way, restrained him.
Garaska strode on bravely, mingling in a remarkable manner self-confidence, and
even insolence, with meekness. He evidently harboured some thought of his own,
which he began to approach by the Socratic method.</p>
<p>“Tell me, Mr. Policeman, what is to-day?”</p>
<p>“Won’t you shut up!” Bargamot replied in contempt.
“Drunk before daylight!”</p>
<p>“Has the bell at Michael the Archangel’s rung yet?”</p>
<p>“Yes, what’s that to you?”</p>
<p>“Then Christ is risen!”</p>
<p>“Well, He is risen.”</p>
<p>“Then allow me——” Garaska was carrying on this
conversation half twisted towards Bargamot, and with his face resolutely turned
to him. Bargamot, interested by the strange questions, mechanically let go the
greasy collar. Garaska, losing his support, staggered and fell before he could
show to Bargamot an object which he had just taken out of his pocket. Raising
his great shoulders, as he supported himself on his hands, Garaska looked on
the ground, then fell face downwards, and began to wail, as a peasant woman
wails for the dead.</p>
<p>Garaska howling! Bargamot was surprised, but deciding that it must be some new
joke of his, he still felt interested as to developments. The development was
that Garaska continued howling without words, just like a dog.</p>
<p>“What’s up now? Off your nut, eh?” said Bargamot as he gave
him a shove with his foot. He went on howling. Bargamot was in a dilemma.</p>
<p>“What’s got yer, eh?”</p>
<p>“The eg—g.”</p>
<p>“Well?”</p>
<p>Garaska went on howling, but less noisily, he sat down and lifted up his hand.
The hand was covered with something sticky, to which adhered pieces of coloured
egg-shell. Bargamot, still in doubt, began to have an inkling that something
untoward had taken place.</p>
<p>“I——like a gentleman——to
present——Easter egg——but you——”
blubbered Garaska disconnectedly; but Bargamot understood.</p>
<p>It was evident what had been Garaska’s intention. He wished to present
him with an Easter egg according to Christian usage, and Bargamot was for
taking him to gaol. Perhaps he had brought the egg a long way, and now it was
broken—and he was crying. Bargamot imagined to himself that the marble
egg he was keeping for Jack was broken, and how sorry it made him.</p>
<p>“”Ere’s a go!” said Bargamot shaking his head, as he
looked at the wallowing drunkard, and pitied him as intensely as he would have
pitied a man cruelly wronged by his own brother.</p>
<p>“He was going to present——” “He is also a living
soul,” muttered the policeman, striving albeit clumsily to render the
state of affairs clear to himself, and feeling a mixture of shame and pity,
which became more and more oppressive.</p>
<p>“And you would have run him in! Shame on you!”</p>
<p>Sighing heavily as he bent down he knocked his short sword against a stone, and
sat down on his heels near to Garaska.</p>
<p>“Well,” he muttered in confusion, “perhaps it is not
broken.”</p>
<p>“Not broken! Why yer was ready to break my snout for me. Brute!”</p>
<p>“But what did you shove for!”</p>
<p>“What for——” mimicked Garaska. “I was
going——like a gentleman to——and him to——the
lock up. Think that’s my last egg? Yer lump!”</p>
<p>Bargamot sniffed. He did not feel in the least hurt by Garaska’s abuse;
through his whole ill-organized interior he felt a sort of half pity, half
shame, while in the remotest depths of his stout body something kept tiresomely
wimbling and torturing.</p>
<p>“Can one help giving you a thrashing?” said Bargamot, more to
himself than to Garaska.</p>
<p>“Not you, you garden scarecrow! Now look ”ere.”</p>
<p>Garaska was evidently falling into his usual groove. In his somewhat clearing
brain he was picturing to himself a whole perspective of the most compromising
terms of abuse, and most insulting epithets, when Bargamot cleared his throat
with a sound which left not the slightest doubt as to the firmness of his
determination and declared:</p>
<p>“We’ll go to my house, and break the fast.”</p>
<p>“What! go to your house, you tubby devil!”</p>
<p>“Let’s go, I say.”</p>
<p>Garaska’s surprise was boundless. Quite passively he allowed himself to
be lifted up and led by the hand, and he went—but whither? Not to the
lock-up, but to the house of Bargamot himself—actually to eat his Easter
breakfast there! A seductive thought came into his head—to give Bargamot
the slip, but though his head had become cleared by the very unusualness of the
situation his feet still remained in such evil case, that they seemed sworn to
perpetually cling to one another, and to prevent each other from walking.</p>
<p>Then, too, Bargamot was such a wonder that Garaska, truth to tell, did not want
to get away.</p>
<p>Bargamot, twisting his tongue, and searching for words and stuttering, now
propounded to him the instructions for a policeman, and now reverting to the
special question of thrashing, and the lock-up, deciding in his own mind in the
positive, and at the same time in the negative.</p>
<p>“You say truly, Ivan Akindinich, we must be beaten,” acknowledged
Garaska, feeling even a sort of awkwardness. Bargamot was a sore wonder!</p>
<p>“No, I don’t mean to do that,” mumbled Bargamot, evidently
understanding, even less than Garaska, what his woolly tongue was babbling.</p>
<p>They arrived at last at Bargamot’s house—and Garaska had already
ceased to wonder.</p>
<p>Marya at first opened her eyes wide at the sight of the unwonted couple, but
she guessed from her husband’s perturbed look, that there was no room for
objections, and in her womanly kindheartedness quickly understood what she was
expected to do.</p>
<p>Quieted and confused, Garaska sat down at the decorated table. He felt ashamed
enough to sink into the ground. Ashamed of his rags, of his dirty hands,
ashamed of his whole self, torn, drunken, disgusting as he was. Scalding
himself with the deuced hot soup, swimming with fat, he spilt it on the
table-cloth, and although the hostess with delicacy pretended not to have
noticed it, he grew confused and spilt still more; so unbearably did those
shrivelled fingers tremble with those great dirty nails, which Garaska now
noticed for the first time.</p>
<p>“Ivan Akindinich, what surprise have you for Jacky?” asked Marya.</p>
<p>“Never mind——later on,” hurriedly replied Bargamot. He
was scalding himself with the soup, blew on his spoon, and stolidly wiped his
moustache—but through all this solidity the same amazement was apparent,
as in the case of Garaska.</p>
<p>Marya hospitably pressed her guest to eat.</p>
<p>“Garasim,” she said, “how are you called after your
father’s name?”</p>
<p>“Andreich.”</p>
<p>“Welcome, Garasim Andreich.”</p>
<p>Garaska, in endeavouring to swallow, choked, and throwing down his spoon,
dropped his head on the table, right on the greasy spot which he had just made.
From his breast there escaped again that rough, piteous howl, which had before
so disturbed Bargamot.</p>
<p>The children, who had almost left off taking any notice of the guest, dropped
their spoons and joined their treble to his tenor. Bargamot looked at his wife
with a troubled and woeful expression.</p>
<p>“Now, what’s the matter with you, Garasim Andreich. Leave
off,” said she, trying to quiet the perturbed guest.</p>
<p>“By my father’s name! Since I was born no one ever called me
so!”</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap15"></SPAN>“MEN MAY RISE ON STEPPING-STONES OF THEIR DEAD SELVES TO HIGHER THINGS”</h3>
<p>Have you ever happened to walk in a burial-ground?</p>
<p>Those little walled-in, quiet corners, overgrown with luscious grass, so small,
and yet so ravenous, possess a peculiar dolorous poetry all their own.</p>
<p>Day after day thither are borne new corpses, a whole, immense, living, noisy
city has been already borne thither one by one, and lo! the new city which has
grown in its place is awaiting its turn—and the little corners remain
ever the same, small, still, ravenous.</p>
<p>The peculiar air in them, the peculiar silence, and the lisping of the trees
different there to anywhere else, are all mournful, pensive, tender. It is as
though those white birches could not forget all those weeping eyes, which have
sought the sky betwixt their green branches, and as though it were no wind, but
deep sighs which keep swaying the air and the fresh leaves.</p>
<p>You, too, wander about the graveyard silent and pensive. Your ear is conscious
of the gentle echoes of deep groans and tears, while your eyes rest on rich
monuments, and modest wooden crosses; and the unmarked tombs of strangers,
covering their dead, who were strangers when living, unmarked, unobserved. And
you read the inscriptions on the monuments, and all these people who have
disappeared from the world rise up in your imagination. You see them young,
laughing, loving; you see them hale, loquacious, insolently confident in the
endlessness of life.</p>
<p>And they are dead.</p>
<p class="asterism">
* * * * * * * * *</p>
<p>But is it necessary to go out of one’s house to visit a burial ground? Is
it not sufficient for this purpose, that the darkness of night should envelop
you, and have swallowed up all the sounds of day?</p>
<p>How many rich and sumptuous monuments! How many unmarked graves of strangers!</p>
<p>But is night needful in order to visit a graveyard? Is not daytime
enough—restless, noisy day, sufficient unto which is the evil thereof?</p>
<p>Look into your own soul, and then, be it day or night, you will find there a
burial ground. Small greedy, having devoured so much! And a gentle, sorrowful,
whisper will ye hear, an echo of bygone heavy groans when the dead was dear,
whom ye left in the tomb, and could not forget nor cease to love. And monuments
ye will see, and inscriptions half blotted out with tears; and still, obscure,
little tombs; small and ominous mounds, under which is hidden something which
once was living, although ye knew not its life, nor remarked its death. But,
maybe, it was the very best in your soul——</p>
<p>But why talk about it? Look for yourselves. And have you not indeed thus looked
into your burial-ground every day, every single day of the long, weary year?
Maybe as late as yesterday you recalled the dear departed, and wept over them.
Maybe only yesterday you buried some one who had long been seriously ill, and
had been forgotten even in life.</p>
<p>Lo! under the heavy marble surrounded by iron rails rests Love of mankind, and
her sister Faith in them. How beautiful were they, and wondrous
kind—these sisters. What bright light burned in their eyes, what strange
power was wielded by their tender, white hands!</p>
<p>With what a caress did those white hands bring the cold drink to lips burning
with thirst, and did feed the hungry. With what gentle care did they touch the
sores of the sick, and healed them!</p>
<p>And they are dead, these sisters. They died of cold, as is said on the
monument. They could not bear the icy wind in which life enveloped them.</p>
<p>And there, further on, a slanting cross marks the place where a Talent is
buried in the earth. How bold it was, how noisy, how happy! It undertook
anything, wished to do everything, and was confident that it could conquer the
world.</p>
<p>And it is dead—died but lately, quietly, and unnoticed. One day it went
among men, for long it was lost there, and it came back defeated, sad. Long it
wept, long it strove to say something, and then without having said
it—died.</p>
<p>And here is a long row of little sunken mounds. Who lies here?</p>
<p>Ah! yes. These are children. Little, keen, sportive Hopes. There were so many
of them, they were so merry, and the soul was peopled with them. But one by one
they died. They were so many, and they made such merriment in the soul.</p>
<p>It is quiet in the resting-place, and the leaves of the white birches rustle
sadly.</p>
<p class="asterism">
* * * * * * * * *</p>
<p>But let the dead arise! Ye grim tombs ope wide, crumble to dust ye heavy
monuments, ye iron bars give place!</p>
<p>Be it but for one day, for one moment, give freedom to those whom ye are
smothering with your weight, and darkness!</p>
<p>Ye think they are dead! Oh, no! they live! They are silent, but they live.</p>
<p>They live!</p>
<p>Let them see the shining of the blue, cloudless sky, let them breathe the pure
air of spring, let them be intoxicated with warmth and love.</p>
<p>Come to me my Talent that fell asleep. Why dost so drolly rub thine eyes. Does
the sun blind thee? Does it not shine bright indeed? Thou laughest? Oh laugh,
laugh on—there is so little of laughter among mankind. I too will laugh
with thee. Look! there flies a swallow—let us fly after it! Has the tomb
made thee too heavy? And what is that strange horror I see in thine
eyes—like a reflection of the darkness of the tomb? No, no, don’t!
Don’t cry. Don’t cry, I say!</p>
<p>So glorious, indeed, is life for the risen!</p>
<p>And ye my dear little Hopes! What charming laughing faces are yours! Who art
thou, stout, funny little cherub? I know thee not. And wherefore laughest thou?
Has the tomb itself been unable to affright thee? Gently, my children, gently!
Why dost insult it—see’st not how little, pale and weak it is
become? Live ye in the world—and do not worry me. Do ye not see that I,
too, have been in the tomb, and now my head is giddy with the sun, and the air,
and gladness.</p>
<p>Ah! how glorious is life for the risen!</p>
<p>Come to me, ye lovely, majestic Sisters. Let me kiss your gentle white hands.
What do I see? Is it bread ye are carrying? Did not the darkness of the tomb
terrify you—so tender, womanly and weak; under the whelming mass did ye
still think of bread for the hungry? Let me kiss your feet. I know where they
will soon be going, your light, swift little feet. And I know that wherever
they pass by flowers will spring up—wondrous, sweet-smelling flowers. Ye
call. We will come, then.</p>
<p>Hither! my risen Talent—why stand gazing at the fleeting clouds. Hither!
my little sportive Hopes.</p>
<p>Stop!</p>
<p>I hear music. Don’t shout so, cherub. Whence these wondrous sounds?
Gentle, melodious, madly joyful, and sad, they speak of life
eternal——</p>
<p>Nay, be ye not afraid. This will soon pass away. I weep, indeed, for joy!</p>
<p>Ah! how glorious is life for the risen!</p>
<h3><SPAN name="chap16"></SPAN>THE SPY</h3>
<p>A young little student girl—almost a child. Her nose was thin, beautiful,
with a slight upward tilt; and from her full lips there seemed to come the
scent of chocolates and red caramels. And her fine hair, which covered her head
like a heavy and caressing wave, was so generously rich that a glance at it
gave rise to thoughts of all that is best and brightest on earth: of a golden
morning upon a blue sea, of Autumn larks, of lilies of the valley and of
fragrant and full-grown lilacs—a cloudless sky and lilacs, large, endless
lilac bushes, and larks soaring over them.</p>
<p>And her eyes were young, bright, naïvely indifferent. But when you looked
closely at her you could see upon her face the fine shades of fatigue, of lack
of food, of sleepless nights spent in conversation in smoke-filled little
rooms, by the exhausting lamp-light. Perhaps there had also been tears upon
those eyes—big, not childish, venomous tears; all her bearing was full of
restrained alarm; her face was cheerful, her lips smiled slightly, and her
foot, in a little, mud-bespattered rubber shoe, stamped on the floor
impatiently, as though to hurry the slow car and to drive it ahead faster,
faster.</p>
<p>All this was noticed by the observing Mitrofan Krilov while the car slowly
passed a small station. He stood on the platform, opposite the girl, and to
while his time away he scrutinized her, somewhat fastidiously and inimically,
as a very simple and familiar algebraic formula written in chalk upon the
blackboard, which stared at him persistently. At first he felt cheerful, like
everyone else who looked at the girl, but this feeling did not last
long—there were causes which killed all cheerfulness in him.</p>
<p>“She must have come recently from some provincial town,” he
remarked to himself sternly. “And why the deuce do they come here? I
would gladly have run away from here to the most deserted spot, to the end of
the world. I suppose she is occupied with all sorts of serious discussions and
convictions, and, of course, cannot sew a ribbon around her skirt. She
doesn’t bother with such things. What hurts me most is that such a good
looking girl should be like that.”</p>
<p>The girl noticed his cross look and became confused, more confused than is
usual under such circumstances; the smile vanished from her eyes, an expression
of childish fear and perplexity appeared on her face, and her left hand quickly
moved up to her chest and stopped there, clutching something.</p>
<p>“See!” Mitrofan wondered, looking aside, and his face assumed an
apathetic expression. “She was frightened by my blue eyeglasses. She
thinks that I am a detective; she is carrying some papers under her waist.
There was a time when they used to carry love letters on their
breasts—now they carry bulletins. And what an absurd
name—bulletins.”</p>
<p>He cast another furtive glance at her in order to verify his expression, then
he turned aside. The student girl gazed at him continuously, as though
bewitched, and she pressed her hand firmly against her left side. Krilov grew
angry.</p>
<p>“What a fool! Since I wear blue eyeglasses I must be, according to her
ideas, a spy. But she does not understand that a man’s eyes may be sore
from hard work. How naive she is. Just think of it! And these people undertake
to do work to save the fatherland. What she needs is a milk bottle and not a
fatherland. No, we are not ripe yet. Lasalle, for instance—his was a
great mind! But here every beetle is trying to do things! She can’t solve
a simple mathematical problem, and yet she is bothering about finance,
politics, documents. You deserve to be scared properly—then you will know
what you are about!”</p>
<p>Mitrofan Krilov drew his head into his shoulders with a sharp gesture, his face
assumed a cunning and mean expression which, in his opinion, was peculiar to
real spies, and he cast a sinister look at the girl which almost turned his
eyes out. And he was satisfied with his work: the girl shuddered and quivered
with fear, and her eyes began to wander alarmedly.</p>
<p>“There is no escape!” Mitrofan Krilov interpreted her restlessness.
“You may jump, you may jump, my dove, and I’ll make it still
stronger.”</p>
<p>And growing ever more and more inspired, forgetting his hunger, and the nasty
weather, elated with his creative power, he began to simulate a spy as cleverly
as if he were a real actor or as if he actually served in the secret police
department. His body wriggled in fine serpentine twists and turns, his eyes
beamed with treachery, and his right hand, lowered in his pocket, clutched the
torn car ticket energetically, as if it were not a piece of paper, but a
revolver loaded with six bullets, or a spy’s notebook. And now he
attracted the attention of other people as well as that of the girl. A stout,
red-haired merchant, who occupied one-third of the platform, suddenly
contracted his body imperceptibly, as though he had grown thin at once, and
turned aside. A tall fellow, with a cape over his top coat, blinked his
rabbit-like eyes as he stared at Krilov, and suddenly, pushing the girl aside,
jumped off the car and disappeared among the carriages.</p>
<p>“Excellent!” Mitrofan Krilov praised himself, overjoyed with the
hidden and spiteful delight of a choleric man. In renouncing his individuality,
in the fact that he pretended he was such an odious creature as a spy, and that
people feared and despised him—in all this there was something keen,
something pleasantly alarming, something intensely interesting. In the grey
shroud of everyday life some dark, dreadful vistas opened, full of noiselessly
moving shadows.</p>
<p>“Indeed, the occupation of a spy must be very interesting. A spy risks a
great deal, and how he risks! One spy was even killed! He was slaughtered like
a hog!”</p>
<p>For a moment he was frightened, and wanted to cease being a spy, but the
teacher’s skin into which he was to return was so meagre, dull, and
repulsive that he inwardly renounced it, and his face assumed as forbidding an
expression as it could. The student girl no longer looked at him, but her whole
youthful figure, the tip of her pink ear which peeped from under her heavy
hair, her body bent slightly forward, and her chest working slowly and deeply,
betrayed her terrible agitation and her one thought of escape. She must have
been dreaming of wings, of wings. Twice she made an irresolute step, and
slightly turned her head toward Mitrofan, but her flushed cheek felt his
penetrating gaze, and she became as petrified. Her hand remained on the
platform rail, and her black glove, torn at the middle finger, quivered
slightly. She felt ashamed that everybody saw her tom glove and the protruding
finger, her tiny, orphan-like, and timid finger—and yet she was powerless
to take off her hand.</p>
<p>“Ah!” thought Mitrofan Krilov. “There you are! There is no
escape for you. That’s a good lesson for you; you’ll know how to do
such things. At first you acted as though you were going to a ball; that
wouldn’t do, you mustn’t think of pleasures only. Now jump a bit,
jump a bit!”</p>
<p>He pictured to himself the life of the girl he pursued, and it appeared to him
to be just as interesting, just as full and as varied as the life of a spy.
There was also something in it that the life of a spy lacked—a certain
offended pride, a certain harmony of strife, mystery, quick terror, and quick,
courageous joy. People were pursuing her.</p>
<p>Mitrofan Krilov looked askance, with aversion, at his outworn coat, rubbed out
at the sleeves; he recalled the button below, which was torn out together with
a piece of cloth, pictured to himself his own yellow, sour face, which he hid;
his blue spectacles; and with venomous joy he discovered that he really
resembled a spy. Particularly that button. Spies have nobody that would sew on
their buttons for them.</p>
<p>Now he looked at everything with the same eyes that the girl did, and all was
new to him. He had never before in all his life given any thought as to what
evening and night meant—mysterious, voiceless night, which brings forth
darkness, which hides people. Now he saw its silent advent, wondered at the
lanterns that were lit, saw something in the struggle between light and
darkness, and was amazed at the calm of the crowd walking on the sidewalks. Was
it possible that they did not see the light? The girl looked greedily at the
passing black spaces of the still dark side streets and he looked at them with
the same eyes as she did, and the corridors, luring into the darkness, were
eloquent. She looked mournfully at the dull houses which were fenced off from
the streets by rocks, and at the shelterless people—and these massive,
angry fortresses seemed new to her.</p>
<p>Availing herself of the teacher’s distractedness, the student girl lifted
her hand in the torn glove from the platform rail—this made her
braver—and she jumped off at the corner of a large street. At this point
people got off and many others boarded the car, and a thin woman with a huge
bundle obstructed the way, so that Mitrofan Krilov could not leave the car. He
said “Please,” and tried to force himself out, but he got stuck in
the doorway and ran to the other side of the car. But there the way was
obstructed by the conductor and the red merchant.</p>
<p>“Let me pass,” Mitrofan Krilov shouted. “Conductor, what
disgraceful business is this? I’ll make a complaint against you!”</p>
<p>“They didn’t hear you,” the conductor defended himself
timidly. “Please, let him pass.”</p>
<p>Out of breath, he finally freed himself, jumped off so awkwardly that he almost
fell down and he threatened the departing red light of the car with his fist.</p>
<p>Mitrofan overtook the girl in a small deserted street, into which he turned by
intuition. She walked briskly and kept looking around, and when she noticed her
pursuer she started to run, thus naïvely betraying her helplessness. Mitrofan
also started to run after her, and now in the dark, unfamiliar, side street,
where there were no other people but they, he and the girl, running, he was
seized with a strange feeling; he felt that he was too much of a spy, and he
even became frightened.</p>
<p>“I must end this matter at once,” he thought, running quickly, out
of breath, but, for some reason, not daring to run at full speed.</p>
<p>At the entrance of a many storied house the student girl stopped, and while she
was tugging at the knob of the heavy door Mitrofan Krilov overtook her and
looked at her face with a generous smile in order to show her that the joke was
ended, and that all was well. But breathing with difficulty, she passed into
the half opened door, hurling at his smiling face:</p>
<p>“Scoundrel!”</p>
<p>And she disappeared. Through the glass her silhouette flashed—and then
she disappeared completely. Still smiling generously, Mitrofan touched the cold
knob of the door, made an attempt to open it, but in the hallway, under the
staircase, he saw the porter’s galoons, and he walked away slowly. He
stopped a few steps away and for about two minutes stood shrugging his
shoulders. He adjusted his spectacles with dignity, threw his head back and
thought:</p>
<p>“How stupid. She did not allow me to say a word, but scolded me at once.
The nasty girl could not understand that it was all a joke. I was doing it all
for her own sake, while she—As if I needed her with her papers. Break
your neck as much as you please. I suppose she is sitting now and telling all
sorts of students, all sorts of long-haired students, how a spy was pursuing
her. And they are sighing. The idiots! I am a university graduate myself, and
am no worse than you are.”</p>
<p>He felt warm after his brisk walk, and he unbuttoned his coat, but he recalled
that he might catch a cold, so he buttoned his coat again, tugging with
aversion at the loose, dangling button.</p>
<p>He stood in the same spot for a time, cast a helpless glance at the rows of
lighted and dark windows and went on thinking:</p>
<p>“And the shaggy students are no doubt happy, and they believe her. Fools!
I myself was a shaggy student—my hair was so long! I would not have cut
my hair even now if it weren’t falling out. It is falling out rapidly.
I’ll soon be bald. And I can’t wear a wig like—a spy.”</p>
<p>He lit a cigarette and felt that it was too much for him—the smoke was so
bitter and unpleasant.</p>
<p>“Shall I go up and say to them: “Ladies and gentlemen, it was all a
joke, just a joke’? But they will not believe me. They may even give me a
thrashing.”</p>
<p>Mitrofan walked away about twenty steps and paused. It was growing cold.</p>
<p>He felt his light coat and the newspaper in his side pocket—and he was
seized with a sense of bitterness. He felt so offended that he was on the point
of crying. He could have gone home, had his dinner, drunk his tea and read his
news-paper—and his soul would have been calm, cloudless; the copy books
had already been corrected, and to-morrow, Saturday, there would be a whist
party at the inspector’s house. And there, in her little room, his deaf
grandmother was sitting and knitting socks—the dear, kind, devoted
grandmother had already finished two pairs of socks for him. And the little oil
lamp must be burning in her room—and he recalled that he had been
scolding her for using too much oil. Where was he now? In some kind of a side
street. In front of some house—in which there were shaggy students.</p>
<p>Two students came out of the lighted entrance of the house, slamming the door
loudly, and turned in the direction of Mitrofan.</p>
<p>He came to himself somewhere on the boulevard and for a long time was unable to
recognise the neighbourhood. It was quiet and deserted. A rain was falling. The
students were not there. He smoked two cigarettes, one after another, and his
hands were trembling when he lit the cigarettes....</p>
<p>“I must compose myself and look at the affair soberly,” he thought.
“It isn’t so bad, after all. The deuce take that girl. She thinks
that I am a spy; well, let her think what she pleases. But she does not know
me. And the students didn’t see me either. I am no fool—I raised
the collar of my coat!”</p>
<p>He laughed for joy, and even opened his mouth—but suddenly he stood still
as though petrified by a terrible thought.</p>
<p>“My God! But she saw me! I demonstrated my face to her for a whole hour.
She may meet me somewhere—”</p>
<p>And a long series of possibilities occurred to Mitrofan Krilov; he was an
intelligent man, fond of science and art; he frequented theatres, attended
various meetings and lectures, and he might meet that girl at any of those
places. She never goes alone to such places, he thought; such girls never go
alone, but with a whole crowd of student girls and audacious students—and
he was terrified at the thought of what might happen when she pointed her
finger at him and said: “Here’s a spy!”</p>
<p>“I must take off my spectacles, shave off my beard,” thought
Mitrofan. “Never mind the eyes—it may be that the doctor was lying
about them. But will my face be changed any if I remove my beard? Is this a
beard?”</p>
<p>He touched his thin little beard with his fingers and felt his face.</p>
<p>“Even my beard does not grow properly!” He thought with sorrow and
aversion.</p>
<p>“But it is all nonsense. Even if she recognised me it wouldn’t
matter. Such a thing must be proven. It must be proven calmly and logically,
even as a theorem must be proven.”</p>
<p>He pictured to himself a meeting of the shaggy students, before whom he was
defending himself firmly and calmly.</p>
<p>Mitrofan Krilov adjusted his spectacles sternly, with dignity, and smiled
contemptuously. Then he began to prove to them—but he convinced himself,
to his horror, that all logic and theorem are one thing, while his life was
quite another thing, and there were no logic, no proofs in his life to show
that Mitrofan Krilov was not a spy. If some one, even that girl, accused him of
being a spy, would he find anything definite, clear, convincing in his life by
which he could offset this base accusation? Now it seemed to him she looked at
him naïvely, with fearless eyes and called him “spy”—and from
that straightforward look, and from that cruel word, all the false phantoms of
convictions and decency melted away as from fire. Emptiness everywhere.
Mitrofan was silent, but his soul was filled with a cry of despair and horror.
What did all this mean? Where had it all disappeared? What would he lean upon
in order to save himself from falling into that dark and terrible abyss?</p>
<p>“My convictions,” he muttered. “My convictions. Everybody
knows them, my convictions. For instance—”</p>
<p>He searched his mind. He was grasping in his memory at fragments of
conversations, he was looking for something clear, strong, convincing; he found
nothing. He recalled absurd phrases such as this: “Ivanov, I am convinced
that you have copied the problem from Sirotkin.” But is this a
conviction? Fragments of newspaper articles passed before him, other
people’s speeches, quite convincing—but where was that which he had
said himself, which he himself had thought? He spoke as everyone else spoke,
and thought as everybody else did, and it was just as impossible to find an
unmarked grain in a heap of grain. Some people are religious, some are not
religious, while he—</p>
<p>“Wait,” he said to himself. “Is there a God, or is there not?
I don’t know. I don’t know anything. And who am I—a teacher?
Do I exist, I wonder?”</p>
<p>Mitrofan Krilov”s hands and feet grew cold.</p>
<p>“Nonsense! Nonsense!” he consoled himself. “My nerves are
simply upset. What are convictions after all? Words. A man reads words in a
book, and there are his convictions. Acts, these are things that count chiefly.
A fine spy who—”</p>
<p>But there were no acts of which he could think. There were school affairs,
family affairs, other affairs, but there were no acts to speak of. Some one was
persistently demanding of him: “Tell me, what have you done?” and
he was searching his mind, desperately, sorrowfully—he was passing over
the years he had lived as over the keyboard of a piano, and each year struck
the same empty, wooden sound—“bya,” without meaning, without
significance.</p>
<p>“Ivanov, I am convinced that you copied the problem from Sirotkin.”
No, no, that is not the proper thing.</p>
<p>“Listen, madam, listen to me,” he muttered, lowering his head,
gesticulating calmly and properly. “How absurd it is to think that I am a
spy. I—a spy? What nonsense! Please, let me convince you. Now, you
see—”</p>
<p>Emptiness. Where had everything disappeared? He knew that he had done
something, but what? All his kin and his acquaintances regarded him as a
sensible, kind and just man—and they must have reasons for their opinion.
Yes, he had bought goods for a dress for grandmother, and his wife even said to
him: “You are too kind, Mitrofan!” But, then, spies may also love
their grandmothers, and they may also buy goods for their
grandmothers—perhaps even the same black goods with little dots. What
else? But, no, no. That is all nonsense!</p>
<p>Unconsciously Mitrofan came back from the boulevard to the house where the
student girl disappeared, but he did not notice it. He felt that it was late,
that he was tired, and that he was on the point of crying.</p>
<p>Mitrofan stopped in front of the many storied house and looked at it with a
sense of unpleasant perplexity.</p>
<p>“What a repulsive house! Oh, yes, it is the same house.”</p>
<p>He walked away from the house quickly as though from a bomb, then he paused and
reflected.</p>
<p>“The best thing for me to do is to write to her—to consider the
matter calmly and write to her. Of course, I will not mention my name. Simply:
that ‘the man whom you mistook for a spy’—Point by point I
will analyse it. She’ll be a fool if she will not believe me.”</p>
<p>After a time, Mitrofan touched the cold knob several times, opened the heavy
door, and entered with a stern look. The porter appeared in the doorway of the
little room under the staircase, and his face bespoke his willingness to be of
service.</p>
<p>“Listen, friend, a student girl passed here a little while ago—what
is the number of her room?”</p>
<p>“What do you want to know it for?”</p>
<p>Mitrofan Krilov stared at him abruptly through his spectacles, in silence, and
the porter understood: he shook his head strangely and extended his hand to
him.</p>
<p>“Come in to my room,” called the porter.</p>
<p>“What for? I simply—” But the porter had already turned into
his little room, and Mitrofan, gnashing his teeth, followed him meekly.</p>
<p>“He believed me—he believed me at once! The scoundrel!” he
thought.</p>
<p>The little room was narrow; there was but one chair, and the porter occupied it
calmly.</p>
<p>“Are you single?” asked Mitrofan good naturedly.</p>
<p>But the porter did not think it necessary to reply. Surveying the teacher from
head to foot with an audacious glance, he maintained silence, and after a time,
asked:</p>
<p>“One of you was here the day before yesterday. A light-haired fellow,
with moustaches. Do you know him?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do. He is light-haired—”</p>
<p>“I suppose there are lots of you people roaming about nowadays,”
the porter remarked indifferently.</p>
<p>“Look here,” Mitrofan said, growing indignant, “I
haven’t come here—I simply want to—”</p>
<p>But the porter paid no attention to his words, and continued:</p>
<p>“Do you get a large salary? The light-haired fellow said he was getting
fifty. Too little.”</p>
<p>“Two hundred,” lied Mitrofan Krilov, and noticed an expression of
delight on the porter’s face.</p>
<p>“Really? Two hundred! I can understand that. Won’t you have a
cigarette?”</p>
<p>Mitrofan took a cigarette from the porter’s fingers with thanks, and
recalled sadly his own Japanese cigarette case, his study, his dear blue copy
books. It was nauseating. The tobacco was strong, foul odoured—tobacco
for spies. It was nauseating.</p>
<p>“Do you often get a drubbing?”</p>
<p>“Look here—”</p>
<p>“The light-haired fellow told me that he had never been thrashed yet. I
suppose he lied. How is it possible that you people shouldn’t get any
thrashing,” the porter smiled good-naturedly.</p>
<p>“I must find out—”</p>
<p>“One must have ability and a suitable face. I have seen a spy whose face
was crooked and one eye was missing. What is a man like that good for? His face
was crooked, and in place of an eye there was a hole. You, for
instance—”</p>
<p>“Look here!” Mitrofan exclaimed softly. “I have no time. I
have other things to attend to.” Unwillingly dropping this interesting
theme, the porter questioned Mitrofan about the girl, what she looked like, and
said:</p>
<p>“I know her. She comes here often. No. 7, Ivanova. Why do you throw the
cigarette on the floor? There is a stove. All I have to do is to sweep here
after you.”</p>
<p>“Blockhead!” Mitrofan replied quietly, and walked out into the side
street, looking for an izvozchik.</p>
<p>“Home, I must go home at once! My God. Why didn’t I think of it
before. I was so absent-minded.” He recalled that he had a diary, in
which he had written long ago, when he was still a student, during his first
term, something liberal, very strong, free and even beautiful. He recalled
clearly that evening, and his room, and the tobacco that lay scattered on the
table, and the feeling of pride, enthusiasm, and delight with which he wrote
down those energetic, firm lines. He would tear out those pages and send them
to her—and that would settle it. She would see, she would
understand—she was a sensible and noble girl. How fine! and how hungry he
was!</p>
<p>In the hallway Mitrofan was met by his alarmed wife.</p>
<p>“Where were you? What happened to you? Why do you look so upset?”</p>
<p>And throwing off his coat quickly, he shouted:</p>
<p>“With you I might be still more upset! The house is full of people and
yet there is nobody to sew a button on my coat. The devil knows what you are
doing here. I have told you a hundred times. Sew on this button. It’s
disgraceful, disgraceful!”</p>
<p>And he walked away to his study.</p>
<p>“And how about dinner?”</p>
<p>“Later. Don’t bother me! Don’t follow me!”</p>
<p>There were many books there, many copy books, but the diary was not there.
Sitting on the floor, he threw out of the lower drawer of the closet various
papers, books, copy-books, sighing and despairing, angry at his cold, stiff
fingers—until at last! There was the blue, slightly grease-stained cover,
his careful hand-writing, dried flowers, the stale, sourish odour of
perfume—how young he had been at that time!</p>
<p>Mitrofan seated himself at the table and for a long time turned the leaves of
the diary, but the desired place was not to be found. And he recalled that five
years ago, when the police had searched Anton’s house, he became so
frightened that he tore out of his diary all the pages that might compromise
him, and he burned them. It was useless to look for them—they were no
more—they had been burned.</p>
<p>With lowered head, his face covered with his hands, he sat for a long time,
motionless, before the desolate diary. But one candle was burning—it was
unusually dark in the room, and from the black, formless chairs came the breath
of cold, desolate loneliness. Far away in those rooms children were playing,
shouting, laughing; in the dining-room tea was being served; people were
walking, talking—while here all was silent as in a graveyard. If an
artist had peeped into the room, felt this cold, gloomy darkness and noticed
the heap of scattered papers and books, the dark figure of the man with his
covered face, bent over the table in helpless grief—he would have painted
a picture and would have called it “The Suicide.”</p>
<p>“But I can recall that passage,” thought Mitrofan. “I can
recall it. Even if the paper was burned, the sentiments remained somewhere;
they existed. I must recall them.”</p>
<p>But he recalled only that which was unimportant—the size of the paper,
the hand-writing, even the commas and the periods, but the essential part, the
dear, beloved, bright part that could clear him—that was dead forever. It
had lived and died, even as human beings die, as everything dies. If he knelt,
cried, prayed that it come to life again—if he threatened, gnashed his
teeth—the enormous emptiness would have remained silent, for it will
never give up that which has fallen into its hands. Did ever tears or sobs
bring a dead man back to life? There is no forgiveness, no mercy, no
return—such is the law of cruel death.</p>
<p>It was dead. It had been killed. Base murderer! He himself had burned with his
own hands the best flowers that had perhaps once in his life blossomed in his
fruitless, beggarly soul! Poor perished flowers! Perhaps they were not bright,
perhaps they had no power or beauty of creative thought, but they were the best
that his soul had brought forth, and now they were no more and they will never
blossom again. There is no forgiveness, no mercy, no return—such is the
law of cruel death.</p>
<p>“What’s this? Wait,” he muttered to himself. “I have
convinced myself that you, Ivanov, copied the problem—nonsense! I must
speak to my wife. Masha! Masha!”</p>
<p>Maria entered. Her face was round, kind natured; her hair was thin and
colourless. In her hands she held some work—a child’s dress.</p>
<p>“Well, Mitrosha, will you have dinner now?”</p>
<p>“No. Wait. I want to speak to you.”</p>
<p>Maria put her work aside with alarm and gazed into her husband’s face.
Mitrofan turned away and said:</p>
<p>“Sit down.”</p>
<p>Maria sat down, adjusted her dress, folded her arms, and prepared to listen to
him.</p>
<p>“I am listening,” she said, adjusting her dress once more.</p>
<p>“Do you know, Masha—I am a spy!” he said in a whisper, his
voice quivering.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“A spy, do you understand?”</p>
<p>Maria wrung her hands quietly and exclaimed:</p>
<p>“I knew it, unfortunate woman that I am—my God! my God!”</p>
<p>Jumping over to his wife, Mitrofan waved his fist at her very face, restrained
himself with difficulty from striking her, and shouted so loudly that all
became quiet in the house.</p>
<p>“Fool! Blockhead! You knew it. My God! How could you know it? My
wife—my friend, all my thoughts—my money, everything—”</p>
<p>He stationed himself at the stove and began to cry.</p>
<p>Mitrofan turned furiously to her and asked:</p>
<p>“Am I a spy? Well! Speak! Am I a spy, or am I not?”</p>
<p>“How do I know? Perhaps you are a spy.”</p>
<p>Avoiding certain details, Mitrofan confusedly told his wife the story of the
student girl and of that meeting.</p>
<p>“Nonsense!” exclaimed Maria carelessly. “I thought there was
really something seriously wrong. Is it worth bothering about this? Just shave
yourself, take off your spectacles, and there’s the end of it. And at
school, during the lesson, you may even wear your spectacles.”</p>
<p>“Do you think so? Is this what you call a beard?”</p>
<p>“Never mind it. Say what you like, you leave the beard alone. I have
always said that your beard was all right, and I will say so now, too.”</p>
<p>Mitrofan recalled that the students called him “goat,” and he was
very glad now. If his beard were not a good one they would never have nicknamed
him “goat.” And in this joy he kissed his wife and, jestingly, even
tickled her ear with his beard.</p>
<p>At about twelve o’clock at night, when all grew quiet in the house, and
his wife had gone to sleep, Mitrofan brought a mirror, warm water, and soap
into his study and sat down to shave himself. In addition to the lamp, he had
to light two candles, and he felt somewhat ashamed and restless because of the
bright light, and he looked only at the side of the face he was shaving.</p>
<p>He shaved his cheek; then he thought awhile, lathered his moustaches, and
shaved them off. He looked at his face again. To-morrow people would laugh at
that face.</p>
<p>Pressing his razor resolutely, Mitrofan threw his head back and carefully
passed the dull side of the knife across his neck.</p>
<p>“It would be good to kill myself,” he thought, “but how could
I?”</p>
<p>“Coward! Scoundrel!” he said aloud, indifferently.</p>
<p>To-morrow people would laugh at him—his comrades, his pupils. And his
wife would also laugh at him.</p>
<p>He longed to be sunk in despair, to cry, to strike the mirror, to do something,
but his soul was empty and dead, and he was sleepy.</p>
<p>“Perhaps that is due to the fact that I was out long in the fresh
air,” he thought, yawning.</p>
<p>He removed his shaving cup, put out the light of the lamp and candles, and
scraping with his slippers he went to his bedroom. He soon fell asleep, having
pushed into the pillow his shaven face, at which everybody would laugh
to-morrow: his friends, his wife—and he himself.</p>
<h4>THE END</h4>
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