<h2> CHAPTER XL. INTRODUCES MR. PICKWICK TO A NEW AND NOT UNINTERESTING SCENE IN THE GREAT DRAMA OF LIFE </h2>
<p class="pfirst">
<span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>he remainder of
the period which Mr. Pickwick had assigned as the duration of the stay at
Bath passed over without the occurrence of anything material. Trinity term
commenced. On the expiration of its first week, Mr. Pickwick and his
friends returned to London; and the former gentleman, attended of course
by Sam, straightway repaired to his old quarters at the George and
Vulture.</p>
<p>On the third morning after their arrival, just as all the clocks in the
city were striking nine individually, and somewhere about nine hundred and
ninety-nine collectively, Sam was taking the air in George Yard, when a
queer sort of fresh-painted vehicle drove up, out of which there jumped
with great agility, throwing the reins to a stout man who sat beside him,
a queer sort of gentleman, who seemed made for the vehicle, and the
vehicle for him.</p>
<p>The vehicle was not exactly a gig, neither was it a stanhope. It was not
what is currently denominated a dog-cart, neither was it a taxed cart, nor
a chaise-cart, nor a guillotined cabriolet; and yet it had something of
the character of each and every of these machines. It was painted a bright
yellow, with the shafts and wheels picked out in black; and the driver sat
in the orthodox sporting style, on cushions piled about two feet above the
rail. The horse was a bay, a well-looking animal enough; but with
something of a flash and dog-fighting air about him, nevertheless, which
accorded both with the vehicle and his master.</p>
<p>The master himself was a man of about forty, with black hair, and
carefully combed whiskers. He was dressed in a particularly gorgeous
manner, with plenty of articles of jewellery about him—all about
three sizes larger than those which are usually worn by gentlemen—and
a rough greatcoat to crown the whole. Into one pocket of this greatcoat,
he thrust his left hand the moment he dismounted, while from the other he
drew forth, with his right, a very bright and glaring silk handkerchief,
with which he whisked a speck or two of dust from his boots, and then,
crumpling it in his hand, swaggered up the court.</p>
<p>It had not escaped Sam’s attention that, when this person dismounted, a
shabby-looking man in a brown greatcoat shorn of divers buttons, who had
been previously slinking about, on the opposite side of the way, crossed
over, and remained stationary close by. Having something more than a
suspicion of the object of the gentleman’s visit, Sam preceded him to the
George and Vulture, and, turning sharp round, planted himself in the
centre of the doorway.</p>
<p>‘Now, my fine fellow!’ said the man in the rough coat, in an imperious
tone, attempting at the same time to push his way past.</p>
<p>‘Now, Sir, wot’s the matter?’ replied Sam, returning the push with
compound interest.</p>
<p>‘Come, none of this, my man; this won’t do with me,’ said the owner of the
rough coat, raising his voice, and turning white. ‘Here, Smouch!’</p>
<p>‘Well, wot’s amiss here?’ growled the man in the brown coat, who had been
gradually sneaking up the court during this short dialogue.</p>
<p>‘Only some insolence of this young man’s,’ said the principal, giving Sam
another push.</p>
<p>‘Come, none o’ this gammon,’ growled Smouch, giving him another, and a
harder one.</p>
<p>This last push had the effect which it was intended by the experienced Mr.
Smouch to produce; for while Sam, anxious to return the compliment, was
grinding that gentleman’s body against the door-post, the principal crept
past, and made his way to the bar, whither Sam, after bandying a few
epithetical remarks with Mr. Smouch, followed at once.</p>
<p>‘Good-morning, my dear,’ said the principal, addressing the young lady at
the bar, with Botany Bay ease, and New South Wales gentility; ‘which is
Mr. Pickwick’s room, my dear?’</p>
<p>‘Show him up,’ said the barmaid to a waiter, without deigning another look
at the exquisite, in reply to his inquiry.</p>
<p>The waiter led the way upstairs as he was desired, and the man in the
rough coat followed, with Sam behind him, who, in his progress up the
staircase, indulged in sundry gestures indicative of supreme contempt and
defiance, to the unspeakable gratification of the servants and other
lookers-on. Mr. Smouch, who was troubled with a hoarse cough, remained
below, and expectorated in the passage.</p>
<p>Mr. Pickwick was fast asleep in bed, when his early visitor, followed by
Sam, entered the room. The noise they made, in so doing, awoke him.</p>
<p>‘Shaving-water, Sam,’ said Mr. Pickwick, from within the curtains.</p>
<p>‘Shave you directly, Mr. Pickwick,’ said the visitor, drawing one of them
back from the bed’s head. ‘I’ve got an execution against you, at the suit
of Bardell.—Here’s the warrant.—Common Pleas.—Here’s my
card. I suppose you’ll come over to my house.’ Giving Mr. Pickwick a
friendly tap on the shoulder, the sheriff’s officer (for such he was)
threw his card on the counterpane, and pulled a gold toothpick from his
waistcoat pocket.</p>
<p>‘Namby’s the name,’ said the sheriff’s deputy, as Mr. Pickwick took his
spectacles from under the pillow, and put them on, to read the card.
‘Namby, Bell Alley, Coleman Street.’</p>
<p>At this point, Sam Weller, who had had his eyes fixed hitherto on Mr.
Namby’s shining beaver, interfered.</p>
<p>‘Are you a Quaker?’ said Sam.</p>
<p>‘I’ll let you know I am, before I’ve done with you,’ replied the indignant
officer. ‘I’ll teach you manners, my fine fellow, one of these fine
mornings.’</p>
<p>‘Thank’ee,’ said Sam. ‘I’ll do the same to you. Take your hat off.’ With
this, Mr. Weller, in the most dexterous manner, knocked Mr. Namby’s hat to
the other side of the room, with such violence, that he had very nearly
caused him to swallow the gold toothpick into the bargain.</p>
<p>‘Observe this, Mr. Pickwick,’ said the disconcerted officer, gasping for
breath. ‘I’ve been assaulted in the execution of my dooty by your servant
in your chamber. I’m in bodily fear. I call you to witness this.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t witness nothin’, Sir,’ interposed Sam. ‘Shut your eyes up tight,
Sir. I’d pitch him out o’ winder, only he couldn’t fall far enough, ‘cause
o’ the leads outside.’</p>
<p>‘Sam,’ said Mr. Pickwick, in an angry voice, as his attendant made various
demonstrations of hostilities, ‘if you say another word, or offer the
slightest interference with this person, I discharge you that instant.’</p>
<p>‘But, Sir!’ said Sam.</p>
<p>‘Hold your tongue,’ interposed Mr. Pickwick. ‘Take that hat up again.’</p>
<p>But this Sam flatly and positively refused to do; and, after he had been
severely reprimanded by his master, the officer, being in a hurry,
condescended to pick it up himself, venting a great variety of threats
against Sam meanwhile, which that gentleman received with perfect
composure, merely observing that if Mr. Namby would have the goodness to
put his hat on again, he would knock it into the latter end of next week.
Mr. Namby, perhaps thinking that such a process might be productive of
inconvenience to himself, declined to offer the temptation, and, soon
after, called up Smouch. Having informed him that the capture was made,
and that he was to wait for the prisoner until he should have finished
dressing, Namby then swaggered out, and drove away. Smouch, requesting Mr.
Pickwick in a surly manner ‘to be as alive as he could, for it was a busy
time,’ drew up a chair by the door and sat there, until he had finished
dressing. Sam was then despatched for a hackney-coach, and in it the
triumvirate proceeded to Coleman Street. It was fortunate the distance was
short; for Mr. Smouch, besides possessing no very enchanting
conversational powers, was rendered a decidedly unpleasant companion in a
limited space, by the physical weakness to which we have elsewhere
adverted.</p>
<p>The coach having turned into a very narrow and dark street, stopped before
a house with iron bars to all the windows; the door-posts of which were
graced by the name and title of ‘Namby, Officer to the Sheriffs of
London’; the inner gate having been opened by a gentleman who might have
passed for a neglected twin-brother of Mr. Smouch, and who was endowed
with a large key for the purpose, Mr. Pickwick was shown into the
‘coffee-room.’</p>
<p>This coffee-room was a front parlour, the principal features of which were
fresh sand and stale tobacco smoke. Mr. Pickwick bowed to the three
persons who were seated in it when he entered; and having despatched Sam
for Perker, withdrew into an obscure corner, and looked thence with some
curiosity upon his new companions.</p>
<p>One of these was a mere boy of nineteen or twenty, who, though it was yet
barely ten o’clock, was drinking gin-and-water, and smoking a cigar—amusements
to which, judging from his inflamed countenance, he had devoted himself
pretty constantly for the last year or two of his life. Opposite him,
engaged in stirring the fire with the toe of his right boot, was a coarse,
vulgar young man of about thirty, with a sallow face and harsh voice;
evidently possessed of that knowledge of the world, and captivating
freedom of manner, which is to be acquired in public-house parlours, and
at low billiard tables. The third tenant of the apartment was a
middle-aged man in a very old suit of black, who looked pale and haggard,
and paced up and down the room incessantly; stopping, now and then, to
look with great anxiety out of the window as if he expected somebody, and
then resuming his walk.</p>
<p>‘You’d better have the loan of my razor this morning, Mr. Ayresleigh,’
said the man who was stirring the fire, tipping the wink to his friend the
boy.</p>
<p>‘Thank you, no, I shan’t want it; I expect I shall be out, in the course
of an hour or so,’ replied the other in a hurried manner. Then, walking
again up to the window, and once more returning disappointed, he sighed
deeply, and left the room; upon which the other two burst into a loud
laugh.</p>
<p>‘Well, I never saw such a game as that,’ said the gentleman who had
offered the razor, whose name appeared to be Price. ‘Never!’ Mr. Price
confirmed the assertion with an oath, and then laughed again, when of
course the boy (who thought his companion one of the most dashing fellows
alive) laughed also.</p>
<p>‘You’d hardly think, would you now,’ said Price, turning towards Mr.
Pickwick, ‘that that chap’s been here a week yesterday, and never once
shaved himself yet, because he feels so certain he’s going out in half an
hour’s time, thinks he may as well put it off till he gets home?’</p>
<p>‘Poor man!’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘Are his chances of getting out of his
difficulties really so great?’</p>
<p>‘Chances be d——d,’ replied Price; ‘he hasn’t half the ghost of
one. I wouldn’t give <i>that </i>for his chance of walking about the
streets this time ten years.’ With this, Mr. Price snapped his fingers
contemptuously, and rang the bell.</p>
<p>‘Give me a sheet of paper, Crookey,’ said Mr. Price to the attendant, who
in dress and general appearance looked something between a bankrupt
glazier, and a drover in a state of insolvency; ‘and a glass of
brandy-and-water, Crookey, d’ye hear? I’m going to write to my father, and
I must have a stimulant, or I shan’t be able to pitch it strong enough
into the old boy.’ At this facetious speech, the young boy, it is almost
needless to say, was fairly convulsed.</p>
<p>‘That’s right,’ said Mr. Price. ‘Never say die. All fun, ain’t it?’</p>
<p>‘Prime!’ said the young gentleman.</p>
<p>‘You’ve got some spirit about you, you have,’ said Price. ‘You’ve seen
something of life.’</p>
<p>‘I rather think I have!’ replied the boy. He had looked at it through the
dirty panes of glass in a bar door.</p>
<p>Mr. Pickwick, feeling not a little disgusted with this dialogue, as well
as with the air and manner of the two beings by whom it had been carried
on, was about to inquire whether he could not be accommodated with a
private sitting-room, when two or three strangers of genteel appearance
entered, at sight of whom the boy threw his cigar into the fire, and
whispering to Mr. Price that they had come to ‘make it all right’ for him,
joined them at a table in the farther end of the room.</p>
<p>It would appear, however, that matters were not going to be made all right
quite so speedily as the young gentleman anticipated; for a very long
conversation ensued, of which Mr. Pickwick could not avoid hearing certain
angry fragments regarding dissolute conduct, and repeated forgiveness. At
last, there were very distinct allusions made by the oldest gentleman of
the party to one Whitecross Street, at which the young gentleman,
notwithstanding his primeness and his spirit, and his knowledge of life
into the bargain, reclined his head upon the table, and howled dismally.</p>
<p>Very much satisfied with this sudden bringing down of the youth’s valour,
and this effectual lowering of his tone, Mr. Pickwick rang the bell, and
was shown, at his own request, into a private room furnished with a
carpet, table, chairs, sideboard and sofa, and ornamented with a
looking-glass, and various old prints. Here he had the advantage of
hearing Mrs. Namby’s performance on a square piano overhead, while the
breakfast was getting ready; when it came, Mr. Perker came too.</p>
<p>‘Aha, my dear sir,’ said the little man, ‘nailed at last, eh? Come, come,
I’m not sorry for it either, because now you’ll see the absurdity of this
conduct. I’ve noted down the amount of the taxed costs and damages for
which the ca-sa was issued, and we had better settle at once and lose no
time. Namby is come home by this time, I dare say. What say you, my dear
sir? Shall I draw a cheque, or will you?’ The little man rubbed his hands
with affected cheerfulness as he said this, but glancing at Mr. Pickwick’s
countenance, could not forbear at the same time casting a desponding look
towards Sam Weller.</p>
<p>‘Perker,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘let me hear no more of this, I beg. I see no
advantage in staying here, so I shall go to prison to-night.’</p>
<p>‘You can’t go to Whitecross Street, my dear Sir,’ said Perker.
‘Impossible! There are sixty beds in a ward; and the bolt’s on, sixteen
hours out of the four-and-twenty.’</p>
<p>‘I would rather go to some other place of confinement if I can,’ said Mr.
Pickwick. ‘If not, I must make the best I can of that.’</p>
<p>‘You can go to the Fleet, my dear Sir, if you’re determined to go
somewhere,’ said Perker.</p>
<p>‘That’ll do,’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘I’ll go there directly I have finished
my breakfast.’</p>
<p>‘Stop, stop, my dear Sir; not the least occasion for being in such a
violent hurry to get into a place that most other men are as eager to get
out of,’ said the good-natured little attorney. ‘We must have a
habeas-corpus. There’ll be no judge at chambers till four o’clock this
afternoon. You must wait till then.’</p>
<p>‘Very good,’ said Mr. Pickwick, with unmoved patience. ‘Then we will have
a chop here, at two. See about it, Sam, and tell them to be punctual.’</p>
<p>Mr. Pickwick remaining firm, despite all the remonstrances and arguments
of Perker, the chops appeared and disappeared in due course; he was then
put into another hackney coach, and carried off to Chancery Lane, after
waiting half an hour or so for Mr. Namby, who had a select dinner-party
and could on no account be disturbed before.</p>
<p>There were two judges in attendance at Serjeant’s Inn—one King’s
Bench, and one Common Pleas—and a great deal of business appeared to
be transacting before them, if the number of lawyer’s clerks who were
hurrying in and out with bundles of papers, afforded any test. When they
reached the low archway which forms the entrance to the inn, Perker was
detained a few moments parlaying with the coachman about the fare and the
change; and Mr. Pickwick, stepping to one side to be out of the way of the
stream of people that were pouring in and out, looked about him with some
curiosity.</p>
<p>The people that attracted his attention most, were three or four men of
shabby-genteel appearance, who touched their hats to many of the attorneys
who passed, and seemed to have some business there, the nature of which
Mr. Pickwick could not divine. They were curious-looking fellows. One was
a slim and rather lame man in rusty black, and a white neckerchief;
another was a stout, burly person, dressed in the same apparel, with a
great reddish-black cloth round his neck; a third was a little weazen,
drunken-looking body, with a pimply face. They were loitering about, with
their hands behind them, and now and then with an anxious countenance
whispered something in the ear of some of the gentlemen with papers, as
they hurried by. Mr. Pickwick remembered to have very often observed them
lounging under the archway when he had been walking past; and his
curiosity was quite excited to know to what branch of the profession these
dingy-looking loungers could possibly belong.</p>
<p>He was about to propound the question to Namby, who kept close beside him,
sucking a large gold ring on his little finger, when Perker bustled up,
and observing that there was no time to lose, led the way into the inn. As
Mr. Pickwick followed, the lame man stepped up to him, and civilly
touching his hat, held out a written card, which Mr. Pickwick, not wishing
to hurt the man’s feelings by refusing, courteously accepted and deposited
in his waistcoat pocket.</p>
<p>‘Now,’ said Perker, turning round before he entered one of the offices, to
see that his companions were close behind him. ‘In here, my dear sir.
Hallo, what do you want?’</p>
<p>This last question was addressed to the lame man, who, unobserved by Mr.
Pickwick, made one of the party. In reply to it, the lame man touched his
hat again, with all imaginable politeness, and motioned towards Mr.
Pickwick.</p>
<p>‘No, no,’ said Perker, with a smile. ‘We don’t want you, my dear friend,
we don’t want you.’</p>
<p>‘I beg your pardon, sir,’ said the lame man. ‘The gentleman took my card.
I hope you will employ me, sir. The gentleman nodded to me. I’ll be judged
by the gentleman himself. You nodded to me, sir?’</p>
<p>‘Pooh, pooh, nonsense. You didn’t nod to anybody, Pickwick? A mistake, a
mistake,’ said Perker.</p>
<p>‘The gentleman handed me his card,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, producing it
from his waistcoat pocket. ‘I accepted it, as the gentleman seemed to wish
it—in fact I had some curiosity to look at it when I should be at
leisure. I—’</p>
<p>The little attorney burst into a loud laugh, and returning the card to the
lame man, informing him it was all a mistake, whispered to Mr. Pickwick as
the man turned away in dudgeon, that he was only a bail.</p>
<p>‘A what!’ exclaimed Mr. Pickwick.</p>
<p>‘A bail,’ replied Perker.</p>
<p>‘A bail!’</p>
<p>Yes, my dear sir—half a dozen of ‘em here. Bail you to any amount,
and only charge half a crown. Curious trade, isn’t it?’ said Perker,
regaling himself with a pinch of snuff.</p>
<p>‘What! Am I to understand that these men earn a livelihood by waiting
about here, to perjure themselves before the judges of the land, at the
rate of half a crown a crime?’ exclaimed Mr. Pickwick, quite aghast at the
disclosure.</p>
<p>‘Why, I don’t exactly know about perjury, my dear sir,’ replied the little
gentleman. ‘Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It’s a legal
fiction, my dear sir, nothing more.’ Saying which, the attorney shrugged
his shoulders, smiled, took a second pinch of snuff, and led the way into
the office of the judge’s clerk.</p>
<p>This was a room of specially dirty appearance, with a very low ceiling and
old panelled walls; and so badly lighted, that although it was broad day
outside, great tallow candles were burning on the desks. At one end, was a
door leading to the judge’s private apartment, round which were
congregated a crowd of attorneys and managing clerks, who were called in,
in the order in which their respective appointments stood upon the file.
Every time this door was opened to let a party out, the next party made a
violent rush to get in; and, as in addition to the numerous dialogues
which passed between the gentlemen who were waiting to see the judge, a
variety of personal squabbles ensued between the greater part of those who
had seen him, there was as much noise as could well be raised in an
apartment of such confined dimensions.</p>
<p>Nor were the conversations of these gentlemen the only sounds that broke
upon the ear. Standing on a box behind a wooden bar at another end of the
room was a clerk in spectacles who was ‘taking the affidavits’; large
batches of which were, from time to time, carried into the private room by
another clerk for the judge’s signature. There were a large number of
attorneys’ clerks to be sworn, and it being a moral impossibility to swear
them all at once, the struggles of these gentlemen to reach the clerk in
spectacles, were like those of a crowd to get in at the pit door of a
theatre when Gracious Majesty honours it with its presence. Another
functionary, from time to time, exercised his lungs in calling over the
names of those who had been sworn, for the purpose of restoring to them
their affidavits after they had been signed by the judge, which gave rise
to a few more scuffles; and all these things going on at the same time,
occasioned as much bustle as the most active and excitable person could
desire to behold. There were yet another class of persons—those who
were waiting to attend summonses their employers had taken out, which it
was optional to the attorney on the opposite side to attend or not—and
whose business it was, from time to time, to cry out the opposite
attorney’s name; to make certain that he was not in attendance without
their knowledge.</p>
<p>For example. Leaning against the wall, close beside the seat Mr. Pickwick
had taken, was an office-lad of fourteen, with a tenor voice; near him a
common-law clerk with a bass one.</p>
<p>A clerk hurried in with a bundle of papers, and stared about him.</p>
<p>‘Sniggle and Blink,’ cried the tenor.</p>
<p>‘Porkin and Snob,’ growled the bass.</p>
<p>‘Stumpy and Deacon,’ said the new-comer.</p>
<p>Nobody answered; the next man who came in, was bailed by the whole three;
and he in his turn shouted for another firm; and then somebody else roared
in a loud voice for another; and so forth.</p>
<p>All this time, the man in the spectacles was hard at work, swearing the
clerks; the oath being invariably administered, without any effort at
punctuation, and usually in the following terms:—</p>
<p>‘Take the book in your right hand this is your name and hand-writing you
swear that the contents of this your affidavit are true so help you God a
shilling you must get change I haven’t got it.’</p>
<p>‘Well, Sam,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘I suppose they are getting the <i>Habeas-corpus</i>
ready?’</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ said Sam, ‘and I vish they’d bring out the have-his-carcase. It’s
wery unpleasant keepin’ us vaitin’ here. I’d ha’ got half a dozen
have-his-carcases ready, pack’d up and all, by this time.’</p>
<p>What sort of cumbrous and unmanageable machine, Sam Weller imagined a
habeas-corpus to be, does not appear; for Perker, at that moment, walked
up and took Mr. Pickwick away.</p>
<p>The usual forms having been gone through, the body of Samuel Pickwick was
soon afterwards confided to the custody of the tipstaff, to be by him
taken to the warden of the Fleet Prison, and there detained until the
amount of the damages and costs in the action of Bardell against Pickwick
was fully paid and satisfied.</p>
<p>‘And that,’ said Mr. Pickwick, laughing, ‘will be a very long time. Sam,
call another hackney-coach. Perker, my dear friend, good-bye.’</p>
<p>‘I shall go with you, and see you safe there,’ said Perker.</p>
<p>‘Indeed,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, ‘I would rather go without any other
attendant than Sam. As soon as I get settled, I will write and let you
know, and I shall expect you immediately. Until then, good-bye.’</p>
<p>As Mr. Pickwick said this, he got into the coach which had by this time
arrived, followed by the tipstaff. Sam having stationed himself on the
box, it rolled away.</p>
<p>‘A most extraordinary man that!’ said Perker, as he stopped to pull on his
gloves.</p>
<p>‘What a bankrupt he’d make, Sir,’ observed Mr. Lowten, who was standing
near. ‘How he would bother the commissioners! He’d set ‘em at defiance if
they talked of committing him, Sir.’</p>
<p>The attorney did not appear very much delighted with his clerk’s
professional estimate of Mr. Pickwick’s character, for he walked away
without deigning any reply.</p>
<p>The hackney-coach jolted along Fleet Street, as hackney-coaches usually
do. The horses ‘went better’, the driver said, when they had anything
before them (they must have gone at a most extraordinary pace when there
was nothing), and so the vehicle kept behind a cart; when the cart
stopped, it stopped; and when the cart went on again, it did the same. Mr.
Pickwick sat opposite the tipstaff; and the tipstaff sat with his hat
between his knees, whistling a tune, and looking out of the coach window.</p>
<p>Time performs wonders. By the powerful old gentleman’s aid, even a
hackney-coach gets over half a mile of ground. They stopped at length, and
Mr. Pickwick alighted at the gate of the Fleet.</p>
<p>The tipstaff, just looking over his shoulder to see that his charge was
following close at his heels, preceded Mr. Pickwick into the prison;
turning to the left, after they had entered, they passed through an open
door into a lobby, from which a heavy gate, opposite to that by which they
had entered, and which was guarded by a stout turnkey with the key in his
hand, led at once into the interior of the prison.</p>
<p>Here they stopped, while the tipstaff delivered his papers; and here Mr.
Pickwick was apprised that he would remain, until he had undergone the
ceremony, known to the initiated as ‘sitting for your portrait.’</p>
<p>‘Sitting for my portrait?’ said Mr. Pickwick.</p>
<p>‘Having your likeness taken, sir,’ replied the stout turnkey.</p>
<p>‘We’re capital hands at likenesses here. Take ‘em in no time, and always
exact. Walk in, sir, and make yourself at home.’</p>
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<p>Mr. Pickwick complied with the invitation, and sat himself down; when Mr.
Weller, who stationed himself at the back of the chair, whispered that the
sitting was merely another term for undergoing an inspection by the
different turnkeys, in order that they might know prisoners from visitors.</p>
<p>‘Well, Sam,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘then I wish the artists would come. This
is rather a public place.’</p>
<p>‘They von’t be long, Sir, I des-say,’ replied Sam. ‘There’s a Dutch clock,
sir.’</p>
<p>‘So I see,’ observed Mr. Pickwick.</p>
<p>‘And a bird-cage, sir,’ says Sam. ‘Veels vithin veels, a prison in a
prison. Ain’t it, Sir?’</p>
<p>As Mr. Weller made this philosophical remark, Mr. Pickwick was aware that
his sitting had commenced. The stout turnkey having been relieved from the
lock, sat down, and looked at him carelessly, from time to time, while a
long thin man who had relieved him, thrust his hands beneath his coat
tails, and planting himself opposite, took a good long view of him. A
third rather surly-looking gentleman, who had apparently been disturbed at
his tea, for he was disposing of the last remnant of a crust and butter
when he came in, stationed himself close to Mr. Pickwick; and, resting his
hands on his hips, inspected him narrowly; while two others mixed with the
group, and studied his features with most intent and thoughtful faces. Mr.
Pickwick winced a good deal under the operation, and appeared to sit very
uneasily in his chair; but he made no remark to anybody while it was being
performed, not even to Sam, who reclined upon the back of the chair,
reflecting, partly on the situation of his master, and partly on the great
satisfaction it would have afforded him to make a fierce assault upon all
the turnkeys there assembled, one after the other, if it were lawful and
peaceable so to do.</p>
<p>At length the likeness was completed, and Mr. Pickwick was informed that
he might now proceed into the prison.</p>
<p>‘Where am I to sleep to-night?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.</p>
<p>‘Why, I don’t rightly know about to-night,’ replied the stout turnkey.
‘You’ll be chummed on somebody to-morrow, and then you’ll be all snug and
comfortable. The first night’s generally rather unsettled, but you’ll be
set all squares to-morrow.’</p>
<p>After some discussion, it was discovered that one of the turnkeys had a
bed to let, which Mr. Pickwick could have for that night. He gladly agreed
to hire it.</p>
<p>‘If you’ll come with me, I’ll show it you at once,’ said the man. ‘It
ain’t a large ‘un; but it’s an out-and-outer to sleep in. This way, sir.’</p>
<p>They passed through the inner gate, and descended a short flight of steps.
The key was turned after them; and Mr. Pickwick found himself, for the
first time in his life, within the walls of a debtors’ prison.</p>
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