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<h2> 6 </h2>
<p>When Joan returned to consciousness she was lying half outside the opening
of the cabin and above her was a drift of blue gun-smoke, slowly floating
upward. Almost as swiftly as perception of that smoke came a shuddering
memory. She lay still, listening. She did not hear a sound except the
tinkle and babble and gentle rush of the brook. Kells was dead, then. And
overmastering the horror of her act was a relief, a freedom, a lifting of
her soul out of the dark dread, a something that whispered justification
of the fatal deed.</p>
<p>She got up and, avoiding to look within the cabin, walked away. The sun
was almost at the zenith. Where had the morning hours gone?</p>
<p>“I must get away,” she said, suddenly. The thought quickened her. Down the
cañon the horses were grazing. She hurried along the trail, trying to
decide whether to follow this dim old trail or endeavor to get out the way
she had been brought in. She decided upon the latter. If she traveled
slowly, and watched for familiar landmarks, things she had seen once, and
hunted carefully for the tracks, she believed she might be successful. She
had the courage to try. Then she caught her pony and led him back to camp.</p>
<p>“What shall I take?” she pondered. She decided upon very little—a
blanket, a sack of bread and meat, and a canteen of water. She might need
a weapon, also. There was only one, the gun with which she had killed
Kells. It seemed utterly impossible to touch that hateful thing. But now
that she had liberated herself, and at such cost, she must not yield to
sentiment. Resolutely she started for the cabin, but when she reached it
her steps were dragging. The long, dull-blue gun lay where she had dropped
it. And out of the tail of averted eyes she saw a huddled shape along the
wall. It was a sickening moment when she reached a shaking hand for the
gun. And at that instant a low moan transfixed her.</p>
<p>She seemed frozen rigid. Was the place already haunted? Her heart swelled
in her throat and a dimness came before her eyes. But another moan brought
a swift realization—Kells was alive. And the cold, clamping
sickness, the strangle in her throat, all the feelings of terror, changed
and were lost in a flood of instinctive joy. He was not dead. She had not
killed him. She did not have blood on her hands. She was not a murderer.</p>
<p>She whirled to look at him. There he lay, ghastly as a corpse. And all her
woman's gladness fled. But there was compassion left to her, and,
forgetting all else, she knelt beside him. He was as cold as stone. She
felt no stir, no beat of pulse in temple or wrist. Then she placed her ear
against his breast. His heart beat weakly.</p>
<p>“He's alive,” she whispered. “But—he's dying.... What shall I do?”</p>
<p>Many thoughts flashed across her mind. She could not help him now; he
would be dead soon; she did not need to wait there beside him; there was a
risk of some of his comrades riding into that rendezvous. Suppose his back
was not broken after all! Suppose she stopped the flow of blood, tended
him, nursed him, saved his life? For if there were one chance of his
living, which she doubted, it must be through her. Would he not be the
same savage the hour he was well and strong again? What difference could
she make in such a nature? The man was evil. He could not conquer evil.
She had been witness to that. He had driven Roberts to draw and had killed
him. No doubt he had deliberately and coldly murdered the two ruffians,
Bill and Halloway, just so he could be free of their glances at her and be
alone with her. He deserved to die there like a dog.</p>
<p>What Joan Randle did was surely a woman's choice. Carefully she rolled
Kells over. The back of his vest and shirt was wet with blood. She got up
to find a knife, towel, and water. As she returned to the cabin he moaned
again.</p>
<p>Joan had dressed many a wound. She was not afraid of blood. The difference
was that she had shed it. She felt sick, but her hands were firm as she
cut open the vest and shirt, rolled them aside, and bathed his back. The
big bullet had made a gaping wound, having apparently gone through the
small of his back. The blood still flowed. She could not tell whether or
not Kell's spine was broken, but she believed that the bullet had gone
between bone and muscle, or had glanced. There was a blue welt just over
his spine, in line with the course of the wound. She tore her scarf into
strips and used it for compresses and bandages. Then she laid him back
upon a saddle-blanket. She had done all that was possible for the present,
and it gave her a strange sense of comfort. She even prayed for his life,
and, if that must go, for his soul. Then she got up. He was unconscious,
white, death-like. It seemed that his torture, his near approach to death,
had robbed his face of ferocity, of ruthlessness, and of that strange
amiable expression. But then, his eyes, those furnace-windows, were
closed.</p>
<p>Joan waited for the end to come. The afternoon passed and she did not
leave the cabin. It was possible that he might come to and want water. She
had once administered to a miner who had been fatally crushed in an
avalanche; and never could forget his husky call for water and the
gratitude in his eyes.</p>
<p>Sunset, twilight, and night fell upon the cañon. And she began to feel
solitude as something tangible. Bringing saddle and blankets into the
cabin, she made a bed just inside, and, facing the opening and the stars,
she lay down to rest, if not to sleep. The darkness did not keep her from
seeing the prostrate figure of Kells. He lay there as silent as if he were
already dead. She was exhausted, weary for sleep, and unstrung. In the
night her courage fled and she was frightened at shadows. The murmuring of
insects seemed augmented into a roar; the mourn of wolf and scream of
cougar made her start; the rising wind moaned like a lost spirit. Dark
fancies beset her. Troop on troop of specters moved out of the black
night, assembling there, waiting for Kells to join them. She thought she
was riding homeward over the back trail, sure of her way, remembering
every rod of that rough travel, until she got out of the mountains, only
to be turned back by dead men. Then fancy and dream, and all the haunted
gloom of cañon and cabin, seemed slowly to merge into one immense
blackness.</p>
<p>The sun, rimming the east wall, shining into Joan's face, awakened her.
She had slept hours. She felt rested, stronger. Like the night, something
dark had passed away from her. It did not seem strange to her that she
should feel that Kells still lived. She knew it. And examination proved
her right. In him there had been no change except that he had ceased to
bleed. There was just a flickering of life in him, manifest only in his
slow, faint heart-beats.</p>
<p>Joan spent most of that day in sitting beside Kells. The whole day seemed
only an hour. Sometimes she would look down the cañon trail, half
expecting to see horsemen riding up. If any of Kells's comrades happened
to come, what could she tell them? They would be as bad as he, without
that one trait which had kept him human for a day. Joan pondered upon
this. It would never do to let them suspect she had shot Kells. So,
carefully cleaning the gun, she reloaded it. If any men came, she would
tell them that Bill had done the shooting.</p>
<p>Kells lingered. Joan began to feel that he would live, though everything
indicated the contrary. Her intelligence told her he would die, and her
feeling said he would not. At times she lifted his head and got water into
his mouth with a spoon. When she did this he would moan. That night,
during the hours she lay awake, she gathered courage out of the very
solitude and loneliness. She had nothing to fear, unless someone came to
the cañon. The next day in no wise differed from the preceding. And then
there came the third day, with no change in Kells till near evening, when
she thought he was returning to consciousness. But she must have been
mistaken. For hours she watched patiently. He might return to
consciousness just before the end, and want to speak, to send a message,
to ask a prayer, to feel a human hand at the last.</p>
<p>That night the crescent moon hung over the cañon. In the faint light Joan
could see the blanched face of Kells, strange and sad, no longer seeming
evil. The time came when his lips stirred. He tried to talk. She moistened
his lips and gave him a drink. He murmured incoherently, sank again into a
stupor, to rouse once more and babble tike a madman. Then he lay quietly
for long—so long that sleep was claiming Joan. Suddenly he startled
her by calling very faintly but distinctly: “Water! Water!”</p>
<p>Joan bent over him, lifting his head, helping him to drink. She could see
his eyes, like dark holes in something white.</p>
<p>“Is—that—you—mother?” he whispered.</p>
<p>“Yes,” replied Joan.</p>
<p>He sank immediately into another stupor or sleep, from which he did not
rouse. That whisper of his—mother—touched Joan. Bad men had
mothers just the same as any other kind of men. Even this Kells had a
mother. He was still a young man. He had been youth, boy, child, baby.
Some mother had loved him, cradled him, kissed his rosy baby hands,
watched him grow with pride and glory, built castles in her dreams of his
manhood, and perhaps prayed for him still, trusting he was strong and
honored among men. And here he lay, a shattered wreck, dying for a wicked
act, the last of many crimes. It was a tragedy. It made Joan think of the
hard lot of mothers, and then of this unsettled Western wild, where men
flocked in packs like wolves, and spilled blood like water, and held life
nothing.</p>
<p>Joan sought her rest and soon slept. In the morning she did not at once go
to Kells. Somehow she dreaded finding him conscious, almost as much as she
dreaded the thought of finding him dead. When she did bend over him he was
awake, and at sight of her he showed a faint amaze.</p>
<p>“Joan!” he whispered.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she replied.</p>
<p>“Are you—with me still?”</p>
<p>“Of course, I couldn't leave you.”</p>
<p>The pale eyes shadowed strangely, darkly. “I'm alive yet. And you
stayed!... Was it yesterday—you threw my gun—on me?”</p>
<p>“No. Four days ago.”</p>
<p>“Four! Is my back broken?”</p>
<p>“I don't know. I don't think so. It's a terrible wound. I—I did all
I could.”</p>
<p>“You tried to kill me—then tried to save me?”</p>
<p>She was silent to that.</p>
<p>“You're good—and you've been noble,” he said. “But I wish—you'd
only been bad. Then I'd curse you—and strangle you—presently.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps you had best be quiet,” replied Joan.</p>
<p>“No. I've been shot before. I'll get over this—if my back's not
broken. How can we tell?”</p>
<p>“I've no idea.”</p>
<p>“Lift me up.”</p>
<p>“But you might open your wound,” protested Joan.</p>
<p>“Lift me up!” The force of the man spoke even in his low whisper.</p>
<p>“But why—why?” asked Joan.</p>
<p>“I want to see—if I can sit up. If I can't—give me my gun.”</p>
<p>“I won't let you have it,” replied Joan. Then she slipped her arms under
his and, carefully raising him to a sitting posture, released her hold.</p>
<p>“I'm—a—rank coward—about pain,” he gasped, with thick
drops standing out on his white face. “I can't—stand it.”</p>
<p>But tortured or not, he sat up alone, and even had the will to bend his
back. Then with a groan he fainted and fell into Joan's arms. She laid him
down and worked over him for some time before she could bring him to. Then
he was wan, suffering, speechless. But she believed he would live and told
him so. He received that with a strange smile. Later, when she came to him
with broth, he drank it gratefully.</p>
<p>“I'll beat this out,” he said, weakly. “I'll recover. My back's not
broken. I'll get well. Now you bring water and food in here—then
go.”</p>
<p>“Go?” she echoed.</p>
<p>“Yes. Don't go down the cañon. You'd be worse off.... Take the back trail.
You've got a chance to get out.... Go!”</p>
<p>“Leave you here? So weak you can't lift a cup! I won't.”</p>
<p>“I'd rather you did.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Because in a few days I'll begin to mend. Then I'll grow like—myself....
I think—I'm afraid I loved you.... It could only be hell for you. Go
now, before it's too late!... If you stay—till I'm well—I'll
never let you go!”</p>
<p>“Kells, I believe it would be cowardly for me to leave you here alone,”
she replied, earnestly. “You can't help yourself. You'd die.”</p>
<p>“All the better. But I won't die. I'm hard to kill. Go, I tell you.”</p>
<p>She shook her head. “This is bad for you—arguing. You're excited.
Please be quiet.”</p>
<p>“Joan Randle, if you stay—I'll halter you—keep you naked in a
cave—curse you—beat you—murder you! Oh, it's in me!...
Go, I tell you!”</p>
<p>“You're out of your head. Once for all—no!” she replied, firmly.</p>
<p>“You—you—” His voice failed in a terrible whisper....</p>
<p>In the succeeding days Kells did not often speak. His recovery was slow—a
matter of doubt. Nothing was any plainer than the fact that if Joan had
left him he would not have lived long. She knew it. And he knew it. When
he was awake, and she came to him, a mournful and beautiful smile lit his
eyes. The sight of her apparently hurt him and uplifted him. But he slept
twenty hours out of every day, and while he slept he did not need Joan.</p>
<p>She came to know the meaning of solitude. There were days when she did not
hear the sound of her own voice. A habit of silence, one of the
significant forces of solitude, had grown upon her. Daily she thought less
and felt more. For hours she did nothing. When she roused herself,
compelled herself to think of these encompassing peaks of the lonely cañon
walls, the stately trees, all those eternally silent and changless
features of her solitude, she hated them with a blind and unreasoning
passion. She hated them because she was losing her love for them, because
they were becoming a part of her, because they were fixed and content and
passionless. She liked to sit in the sun, feel its warmth, see its
brightness; and sometimes she almost forgot to go back to her patient. She
fought at times against an insidious change—a growing older—a
going backward; at other times she drifted through hours that seemed quiet
and golden, in which nothing happened. And by and by when she realized
that the drifting hours were gradually swallowing up the restless and
active hours, then strangely, she remembered Jim Cleve. Memory of him came
to save her. She dreamed of him during the long, lonely, solemn days, and
in the dark, silent climax of unbearable solitude—the night. She
remembered his kisses, forgot her anger and shame, accepted the sweetness
of their meaning, and so in the interminable hours of her solitude she
dreamed herself into love for him.</p>
<p>Joan kept some record of days, until three weeks or thereabout passed, and
then she lost track of time. It dragged along, yet looked at as the past,
it seemed to have sped swiftly. The change in her, the growing old, the
revelation and responsibility of serf, as a woman, made this experience
appear to have extended over months.</p>
<p>Kells slowly became convalescent and then he had a relapse. Something
happened, the nature of which Joan could not tell, and he almost died.
There were days when his life hung in the balance, when he could not talk;
and then came a perceptible turn for the better.</p>
<p>The store of provisions grew low, and Joan began to face another serious
situation. Deer and rabbit were plentiful in the cañon, but she could not
kill one with a revolver. She thought she would be forced to sacrifice one
of the horses. The fact that Kells suddenly showed a craving for meat
brought this aspect of the situation to a climax. And that very morning
while Joan was pondering the matter she saw a number of horsemen riding up
the cañon toward the cabin. At the moment she was relieved, and
experienced nothing of the dread she had formerly felt while anticipating
this very event.</p>
<p>“Kells,” she said, quickly, “there are men riding up the trail.”</p>
<p>“Good,” he exclaimed, weakly, with a light on his drawn face. “They've
been long in—getting here. How many?”</p>
<p>Joan counted them—five riders, and several pack-animals.</p>
<p>“Yes. It's Gulden.”</p>
<p>“Gulden!” cried Joan, with a start.</p>
<p>Her exclamation and tone made Kells regard her attentively.</p>
<p>“You've heard of him? He's the toughest nut—on this border.... I
never saw his like. You won't be safe. I'm so helpless.... What to say—to
tell him!... Joan, if I should happen to croak—you want to get away
quick... or shoot yourself.”</p>
<p>How strange to hear this bandit warn her of peril the like of which she
had encountered through him! Joan secured the gun and hid it in a niche
between the logs. Then she looked out again.</p>
<p>The riders were close at hand now. The foremost one, a man of Herculean
build, jumped his mount across the brook, and leaped off while he hauled
the horse to a stop. The second rider came close behind him; the others
approached leisurely, with the gait of the pack-animals.</p>
<p>“Ho, Kells!” called the big man. His voice had a loud, bold, sonorous kind
of ring.</p>
<p>“Reckon he's here somewheres,” said the other man, presently.</p>
<p>“Sure. I seen his hoss. Jack ain't goin' to be far from thet hoss.”</p>
<p>Then both of them approached the cabin. Joan had never before seen two
such striking, vicious-looking, awesome men. The one was huge—so
wide and heavy and deep-set that he looked short—and he resembled a
gorilla. The other was tall, slim, with a face as red as flame, and an
expression of fierce keenness. He was stoop shouldered, yet he held his
head erect in a manner that suggested a wolf scenting blood.</p>
<p>“Someone here, Pearce,” boomed the big man.</p>
<p>“Why, Gul, if it ain't a girl!”</p>
<p>Joan moved out of the shadow of the wall of the cabin, and she pointed to
the prostrate figure on the blankets.</p>
<p>“Howdy boys!” said Kells, wanly.</p>
<p>Gulden cursed in amaze while Pearce dropped to his knee with an
exclamation of concern. Then both began to talk at once. Kells interrupted
them by lifting a weak hand.</p>
<p>“No, I'm not going—to cash,” he said. “I'm only starved—and in
need of stimulants. Had my back half shot off.”</p>
<p>“Who plugged you, Jack?”</p>
<p>“Gulden, it was your side-partner, Bill.”</p>
<p>“Bill?” Gulden's voice held a queer, coarse constraint. Then he added,
gruffly. “Thought you and him pulled together.”</p>
<p>“Well, we didn't.”</p>
<p>“And—where's Bill now?” This time Joan heard a slow, curious, cold
note in the heavy voice, and she interpreted it as either doubt or deceit.</p>
<p>“Bill's dead and Halloway, too,” replied Kells.</p>
<p>Gulden turned his massive, shaggy head in the direction of Joan. She had
not the courage to meet the gaze upon her. The other man spoke:</p>
<p>“Split over the girl, Jack?”</p>
<p>“No,” replied Kells, sharply. “They tried to get familiar with—MY
WIFE—and I shot them both.”</p>
<p>Joan felt a swift leap of hot blood all over her and then a coldness, a
sickening, a hateful weakness.</p>
<p>“Wife!” ejaculated Gulden.</p>
<p>“Your real wife, Jack?” queried Pearce.</p>
<p>“Well, I guess, I'll introduce you... Joan, here are two of my friends—Sam
Gulden and Red Pearce.”</p>
<p>Gulden grunted something.</p>
<p>“Mrs. Kells, I'm glad to meet you,” said Pearce.</p>
<p>Just then the other three men entered the cabin and Joan took advantage of
the commotion they made to get out into the air. She felt sick,
frightened, and yet terribly enraged. She staggered a little as she went
out, and she knew she was as pale as death. These visitors thrust reality
upon her with a cruel suddenness. There was something terrible in the mere
presence of this Gulden. She had not yet dared to take a good look at him.
But what she felt was overwhelming. She wanted to run. Yet escape now was
infinitely more of a menace than before. If she slipped away it would be
these new enemies who would pursue her, track her like hounds. She
understood why Kells had introduced her as his wife. She hated the idea
with a shameful and burning hate, but a moment's reflection taught her
that Kells had answered once more to a good instinct. At the moment he had
meant that to protect her. And further reflection persuaded Joan that she
would be wise to act naturally and to carry out the deception as far as it
was possible for her. It was her only hope. Her position had again grown
perilous. She thought of the gun she had secreted, and it gave her
strength to control her agitation and to return to the cabin outwardly
calm.</p>
<p>The men had Kells half turned over with the flesh of his back exposed.</p>
<p>“Aw, Gul, it's whisky he needs,” said one.</p>
<p>“If you let out any more blood he'll croak sure,” protested another.</p>
<p>“Look how weak he is,” said Red Pearce.</p>
<p>“It's a hell of a lot you know,” roared Gulden. “I served my time—but
that's none of your business.... Look here! See that blue spot!” Gulden
pressed a huge finger down upon the blue welt on Kells's back. The bandit
moaned. “That's lead—that's the bullet,” declared Gulden.</p>
<p>“Wall, if you ain't correct!” exclaimed Pearce.</p>
<p>Kells turned his head. “When you punched that place—it made me numb
all over. Gul, if you've located the bullet, cut it out.”</p>
<p>Joan did not watch the operation. As she went away to the seat under the
balsam she heard a sharp cry and then cheers. Evidently the grim Gulden
had been both swift and successful.</p>
<p>Presently the men came out of the cabin and began to attend to their
horses and the pack-train.</p>
<p>Pearce looked for Joan, and upon seeing her called out, “Kells wants you.”</p>
<p>Joan found the bandit half propped up against a saddle with a damp and
pallid face, but an altogether different look.</p>
<p>“Joan, that bullet was pressing on my spine,” he said. “Now it's out, all
that deadness is gone. I feel alive. I'll get well, soon.... Gulden was
curious over the bullet. It's a forty-four caliber, and neither Bill
Bailey nor Halloway used that caliber of gun. Gulden remembered. He's
cunning. Bill was as near being a friend to this Gulden as any man I know
of. I can't trust any of these men, particularly Gulden. You stay pretty
close by me.”</p>
<p>“Kells, you'll let me go soon—help me to get home?” implored Joan in
a low voice.</p>
<p>“Girl, it'd never be safe now,” he replied.</p>
<p>“Then later—soon—when it is safe?”</p>
<p>“We'll see.... But you're my wife now!”</p>
<p>With the latter words the man subtly changed. Something of the power she
had felt in him before his illness began again to be manifested. Joan
divined that these comrades had caused the difference in him.</p>
<p>“You won't dare—!” Joan was unable to conclude her meaning. A tight
band compressed her breast and throat, and she trembled.</p>
<p>“Will you dare go out there and tell them you're NOT my wife?” he queried.
His voice had grown stronger and his eyes were blending shadows of
thought.</p>
<p>Joan knew that she dared not. She must choose the lesser of two evils. “No
man—could be such a beast to a woman—after she'd saved his
life,” she whispered.</p>
<p>“I could be anything. You had your chance. I told you to go. I said if I
ever got well I'd be as I was—before.”</p>
<p>“But you'd have died.”</p>
<p>“That would have been better for you..... Joan, I'll do this. Marry you
honestly and leave the country. I've gold. I'm young. I love you. I intend
to have you. And I'll begin life over again. What do you say?”</p>
<p>“Say? I'd die before—I'd marry you!” she panted.</p>
<p>“All right, Joan Randle,” he replied, bitterly. “For a moment I saw a
ghost. My old dead better self!... It's gone.... And you stay with me.”</p>
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