<p class="tit-song">HELL IN TEXAS <span class="pagenum"><SPAN id="page222" name="page222"></SPAN>(p. 222)</span></p>
<p>The devil, we're told, in hell was chained,<br/>
And a thousand years he there remained;<br/>
He never complained nor did he groan,<br/>
But determined to start a hell of his own,<br/>
Where he could torment the souls of men<br/>
Without being chained in a prison pen.<br/>
So he asked the Lord if he had on hand<br/>
Anything left when he made the land.</p>
<p>The Lord said, "Yes, I had plenty on hand,<br/>
But I left it down on the Rio Grande;<br/>
The fact is, old boy, the stuff is so poor<br/>
I don't think you could use it in hell anymore."<br/>
But the devil went down to look at the truck,<br/>
And said if it came as a gift he was stuck;<br/>
For after examining it carefully and well<br/>
He concluded the place was too dry for hell.</p>
<p>So, in order to get it off his hands,<br/>
The Lord promised the devil to water the lands;<br/>
For he had some water, or rather some dregs,<br/>
A regular cathartic that smelled like bad eggs.<br/>
Hence the deal was closed and the deed was given<br/>
And the Lord went back to his home in heaven.<br/>
And the devil then said, "I have all that is needed<br/>
To make a good hell," and hence he succeeded.</p>
<p>He <span class="pagenum"><SPAN id="page223" name="page223"></SPAN>(p. 223)</span> began to put thorns in all of the trees,<br/>
And mixed up the sand with millions of fleas;<br/>
And scattered tarantulas along all the roads;<br/>
Put thorns on the cactus and horns on the toads.<br/>
He lengthened the horns of the Texas steers,<br/>
And put an addition on the rabbit's ears;<br/>
He put a little devil in the broncho steed,<br/>
And poisoned the feet of the centipede.</p>
<p>The rattlesnake bites you, the scorpion stings,<br/>
The mosquito delights you with buzzing wings;<br/>
The sand-burrs prevail and so do the ants,<br/>
And those who sit down need half-soles on their pants.<br/>
The devil then said that throughout the land<br/>
He'd managed to keep up the devil's own brand,<br/>
And all would be mavericks unless they bore<br/>
The marks of scratches and bites and thorns by the score.</p>
<p>The heat in the summer is a hundred and ten,<br/>
Too hot for the devil and too hot for men.<br/>
The wild boar roams through the black chaparral,—<br/>
It's a hell of a place he has for a hell.<br/>
The red pepper grows on the banks of the brook;<br/>
The Mexicans use it in all that they cook.<br/>
Just dine with a Greaser and then you will shout,<br/>
"I've hell on the inside as well as the out!"</p>
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