<p class="tit-song">TOP HAND <span class="pagenum"><SPAN id="page373" name="page373"></SPAN>(p. 373)</span></p>
<p>While you're all so frisky I'll sing a little song,—<br/>
Think a little horn of whiskey will help the thing along?<br/>
It's all about the Top Hand, when he busted flat<br/>
Bummin' round the town, in his Mexican hat.<br/>
He's laid up all winter, and his pocket book is flat,<br/>
His clothes are all tatters, but he don't mind that.</p>
<p>See him in town with a crowd that he knows,<br/>
Rollin' cigarettes and smokin' through his nose.<br/>
First thing he tells you, he owns a certain brand,—<br/>
Leads you to think he is a daisy hand;<br/>
Next thing he tells you 'bout his trip up the trail,<br/>
All the way to Kansas, to finish out his tale.</p>
<p>Put him on a hoss, he's a handy hand to work;<br/>
Put him in the brandin'-pen, he's dead sure to shirk.<br/>
With his natural leaf tobacco in the pockets of his vest<br/>
He'll tell you his California pants are the best.<br/>
He's handled lots of cattle, hasn't any fears,<br/>
Can draw his sixty dollars for the balance of his years.</p>
<p>Put him on herd, he's a-cussin' all day;<br/>
Anything he tries, it's sure to get away.<br/>
When <span class="pagenum"><SPAN id="page374" name="page374"></SPAN>(p. 374)</span> you have a round-up, he tells it all about<br/>
He's goin' to do the cuttin' an' you can't keep him out.<br/>
If anything goes wrong, he lays it on the screws,<br/>
Says the lazy devils were tryin' to take a snooze.</p>
<p>When he meets a greener he ain't afraid to rig,<br/>
Stands him on a chuck box and makes him dance a jig,—<br/>
Waves a loaded cutter, makes him sing and shout,—<br/>
He's a regular Ben Thompson when the boss ain't about.<br/>
When the boss ain't about he leaves his leggins in camp,<br/>
He swears a man who wears them is worse than a tramp.</p>
<p>Says he's not carin' for the wages he earns,<br/>
For Dad's rich in Texas,—got wagon loads to burn;<br/>
But when he goes to town, he's sure to take it in,<br/>
He's always been dreaded wherever he's been.<br/>
He rides a fancy horse, he's a favorite man,<br/>
Can get more credit than a common waddie can.</p>
<p>When you ship the cattle he's bound to go along<br/>
To keep the boss from drinking and see that nothing's wrong.<br/>
Wherever he goes, catch on to his name,<br/>
He likes to be called with a handle to his name.<br/>
He's always primping with a pocket looking-glass,<br/>
From the top to the bottom he's a bold Jackass.</p>
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