<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<p><br/></p>
<h1> THE ABSENTEE </h1>
<p><br/></p>
<h2> by Maria Edgeworth </h2>
<p><br/></p>
<p> [Footnotes have been inserted in the text in square ("[]")<br/> brackets, close to the point where they were originally.<br/><br/> Characters printed in italics in the original text have been<br/> written in capital letters in this etext.<br/><br/> The British Pound Sterling symbol has been written 'L'.]<br/></p>
<p><br/></p>
<hr />
<p><br/></p>
<blockquote>
<p><big><b>CONTENTS</b></big></p>
<p><br/></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_NOTE"> NOTES ON 'THE ABSENTEE' </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0002"> <big><b>THE ABSENTEE</b></big> </SPAN></p>
<p><br/></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII </SPAN></p>
<p><br/></p>
</blockquote>
<p><br/></p>
<hr />
<p><SPAN name="link2H_NOTE" id="link2H_NOTE"></SPAN> <br/> <br/></p>
<h2> NOTES ON 'THE ABSENTEE' </h2>
<p>In August 1811, we are told, she wrote a little play about landlords and
tenants for the children of her sister, Mrs. Beddoes. Mr. Edgeworth tried
to get the play produced on the London boards. Writing to her aunt, Mrs.
Ruxton, Maria says, 'Sheridan has answered as I foresaw he must, that in
the present state of this country the Lord Chamberlain would not license
THE ABSENTEE; besides there would be a difficulty in finding actors for so
many Irish characters.' The little drama was then turned into a story, by
Mr. Edgeworth's advice. Patronage was laid aside for the moment, and THE
ABSENTEE appeared in its place in the second part of TALES OF FASHIONABLE
LIFE. We all know Lord Macaulay's verdict upon this favourite story of
his, the last scene of which he specially admired and compared to the
ODYSSEY. [Lord Macaulay was not the only notable admirer of THE ABSENTEE.
The present writer remembers hearing Professor Ruskin on one occasion
break out in praise and admiration of the book. 'You can learn more by
reading it of Irish politics,' he said, 'than from a thousand columns out
of blue-books.'] Mrs. Edgeworth tells us that much of it was written while
Maria was suffering a misery of toothache.</p>
<p>Miss Edgeworth's own letters all about this time are much more concerned
with sociabilities than with literature. We read of a pleasant dance at
Mrs. Burke's; of philosophers at sport in Connemara; of cribbage, and
company, and country houses, and Lord Longford's merry anecdotes during
her visit to him. Miss Edgeworth, who scarcely mentions her own works,
seems much interested at this time in a book called MARY AND HER CAT,
which she is reading with some of the children.</p>
<p>Little scraps of news (I cannot resist quoting one or two of them) come in
oddly mixed with these personal records of work and family talk. 'There is
news of the Empress (Marie Louise), who is liked not at all by the
Parisians; she is too haughty, and sits back in her carriage when she goes
through the streets. 'Of Josephine, who is living very happily, amusing
herself with her gardens and her shrubberies.' This ci-devant Empress and
Kennedy and Co., the seedsmen, are in partnership, says Miss Edgeworth.
And then among the lists of all the grand people Maria meets in London in
1813 (Madame de Stael is mentioned as expected), she gives an interesting
account of an actual visitor, Peggy Langan, who was grand-daughter to
Thady in CASTLE RACKRENT. Peggy went to England with Mrs. Beddoes, and was
for thirty years in the service of Mrs. Haldimand we are told, and was own
sister to Simple Susan.</p>
<p>The story of THE ABSENTEE is a very simple one, and concerns Irish
landlords living in England, who ignore their natural duties and station
in life, and whose chief ambition is to take their place in the English
fashionable world. The grand English ladies are talking of Lady Clonbrony.</p>
<p>'"If you knew all she endures to look, speak, move, breathe like an
Englishwoman, you would pity her,"' said Lady Langdale.</p>
<p>'"Yes, and you CAWNT conceive the PEENS she TEEKES to talk of the TEEBLES
and CHEERS, and to thank Q, and, with so much TEESTE, to speak pure
English,"' said Mrs. Dareville.</p>
<p>'"Pure cockney, you mean," said Lady Langdale.'</p>
<p>Lord Colambre, the son of the lady in question, here walks across the
room, not wishing to listen to any more strictures upon his mother. He is
the very most charming of walking gentlemen, and when stung by conscience
he goes off to Ireland, disguised in a big cloak, to visit his father's
tenantry and to judge for himself of the state of affairs, all our
sympathies go with him. On his way he stops at Tusculum, scarcely less
well known than its classical namesake. He is entertained by Mrs.
Raffarty, that esthetical lady who is determined to have a little 'taste'
of everything at Tusculum. She leads the way into a little conservatory,
and a little pinery, and a little grapery, and a little aviary, and a
little pheasantry, and a little dairy for show, and a little cottage for
ditto, with a grotto full of shells, and a little hermitage full of
earwigs, and a little ruin full of looking-glass, to enlarge and multiply
the effect of the Gothic.... But you could only put your head in, because
it was just fresh painted, and though there had been a fire ordered in the
ruin all night, it had only smoked.</p>
<p>'As they proceeded and walked through the grounds, from which Mrs.
Raffarty, though she had done her best, could not take that which nature
had given, she pointed out to my lord "a happy moving termination,"
consisting of a Chinese bridge, with a fisherman leaning over the rails.
On a sudden, the fisherman was seen to tumble over the bridge into the
water. The gentlemen ran to extricate the poor fellow, while they heard
Mrs. Raffarty bawling to his lordship to beg he would never mind, and not
trouble himself.</p>
<p>'When they arrived at the bridge, they saw the man hanging from part of
the bridge, and apparently struggling in the water; but when they
attempted to pull him up, they found it was only a stuffed figure which
had been pulled into the stream by a real fish, which had seized hold of
the bait.'</p>
<p>The dinner-party is too long to quote, but it is written in Miss
Edgeworth's most racy and delightful vein of fun.</p>
<p>One more little fact should not be omitted in any mention of THE ABSENTEE.
One of the heroines is Miss Broadhurst, the heiress. The Edgeworth family
were much interested, soon after the book appeared, to hear that a real
living Miss Broadhurst, an heiress, had appeared upon the scenes, and was,
moreover, engaged to be married to Sneyd Edgeworth, one of the eldest sons
of the family. In the story, says Mrs. Edgeworth, Miss Broadhurst selects
from her lovers one who 'unites worth and wit,' and then she goes on to
quote an old epigram of Mr. Edgeworth's on himself, which concluded
with,'There's an Edge to his wit and there's worth in his heart.'</p>
<p>Mr. Edgeworth, who was as usual busy building church spires for himself
and other people, abandoned his engineering for a time to criticise his
daughter's story, and he advised that the conclusion of THE ABSENTEE
should be a letter from Larry the postilion. 'He wrote one, she wrote
another,' says Mrs. Edgeworth. 'He much preferred hers, which is the
admirable finale of THE ABSENTEE.' And just about this time Lord Ross is
applied to, to frank the Edgeworth manuscripts.</p>
<p>'I cannot by any form of words express how delighted I am that you are
none of you angry with me,' writes modest Maria to her cousin, Miss
Ruxton, 'and that my uncle and aunt are pleased with what they have read
of THE ABSENTEE. I long to hear whether their favour continues to the end,
and extends to the catastrophe, that dangerous rock upon which poor
authors are wrecked.'</p>
<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"></SPAN></p>
<br/>
<h1> THE ABSENTEE </h1>
<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"></SPAN></p>
<br/>
<h2> CHAPTER I </h2>
<p>'Are you to be at Lady Clonbrony's gala next week?' said Lady Langdale to
Mrs. Dareville, whilst they were waiting for their carriages in the
crush-room of the opera house.</p>
<p>'Oh yes! everybody's to be there, I hear,' replied Mrs. Dareville. 'Your
ladyship, of course?'</p>
<p>'Why, I don't know—if I possibly can. Lady Clonbrony makes it such a
point with me, that I believe I must look in upon her for a few minutes.
They are going to a prodigious expense on this occasion. Soho tells me the
reception rooms are all to be new furnished, and in the most magnificent
style.'</p>
<p>'At what a famous rate those Clonbronies are dashing on,' said Colonel
Heathcock. 'Up to anything.'</p>
<p>'Who are they?—these Clonbronies, that one hears of so much of late'
said her Grace of Torcaster. 'Irish absentees I know. But how do they
support all this enormous expense?'</p>
<p>'The son WILL have a prodigiously fine estate when some Mr. Quin dies,'
said Mrs. Dareville.</p>
<p>'Yes, everybody who comes from Ireland WILL have a fine estate when
somebody dies,' said her grace. 'But what have they at present?'</p>
<p>'Twenty thousand a year, they say,' replied Mrs. Dareville.</p>
<p>'Ten thousand, I believe,' cried Lady Langdale. 'Make it a rule, you know,
to believe only half the world says.'</p>
<p>'Ten thousand, have they?—possibly,' said her grace. 'I know nothing
about them—have no acquaintance among the Irish. Torcaster knows
something of Lady Clonbrony; she has fastened herself, by some means, upon
him: but I charge him not to COMMIT me. Positively, I could not for
anybody—and much less for that sort of person—extend the
circle of my acquaintance.'</p>
<p>'Now that is so cruel of your grace,' said Mrs. Dareville, laughing, 'when
poor Lady Clonbrony works so hard, and pays so high, to get into certain
circles.'</p>
<p>'If you knew all she endures, to look, speak, move, breathe like an
Englishwoman, you would pity her,' said Lady Langdale.</p>
<p>'Yes, and you CAWNT conceive the PEENS she TEEKES to talk of the TEEBLES
and CHEERS, and to thank Q, and, with so much TEESTE, to speak pure
English,' said Mrs. Dareville.</p>
<p>'Pure cockney, you mean,' said Lady Langdale.</p>
<p>'But why does Lady Clonbrony want to pass for English?' said the duchess.</p>
<p>'Oh! because she is not quite Irish. BRED AND BORN—only bred, not
born,' said Mrs. Dareville. 'And she could not be five minutes in your
grace's company before she would tell you, that she was HENGLISH, born in
HOXFORDSHIRE.'</p>
<p>'She must be a vastly amusing personage. I should like to meet her, if one
could see and hear her incog.,' said the duchess. 'And Lord Clonbrony,
what is he?'</p>
<p>'Nothing, nobody,' said Mrs. Dareville; 'one never even hears of him.'</p>
<p>'A tribe of daughters, too, I suppose?'</p>
<p>'No, no,' said Lady Langdale, 'daughters would be past all endurance.'</p>
<p>'There's a cousin, though, a Grace Nugent,' said Mrs. Dareville, 'that
Lady Clonbrony has with her.'</p>
<p>'Best part of her, too,' said Colonel Heathcock; 'd-d fine girl!—never
saw her look better than at the opera to-night!'</p>
<p>'Fine COMPLEXION! as Lady Clonbrony says, when she means a high colour,'
said Lady Langdale.</p>
<p>'Grace Nugent is not a lady's beauty,' said Mrs. Dareville. 'Has she any
fortune, colonel?'</p>
<p>''Pon honour, don't know,' said the colonel.</p>
<p>'There's a son, somewhere, is not there?' said Lady Langdale.</p>
<p>'Don't know, 'pon honour,' replied the colonel.</p>
<p>'Yes—at Cambridge—not of age yet,' said Mrs. Dareville. 'Bless
me! here is Lady Clonbrony come back. I thought she was gone half an hour
ago!'</p>
<p>'Mamma,' whispered one of Lady Langdale's daughters, leaning between her
mother and Mrs. Dareville, 'who is that gentleman that passed us just
now?'</p>
<p>'Which way?'</p>
<p>'Towards the door. There now, mamma, you can see him. He is speaking to
Lady Clonbrony—to Miss Nugent. Now Lady Clonbrony is introducing him
to Miss Broadhurst.'</p>
<p>'I see him now,' said Lady Langdale, examining him through her glass; 'a
very gentlemanlike-looking young man, indeed.'</p>
<p>'Not an Irishman, I am sure, by his manner,' said her grace.</p>
<p>'Heathcock!' said Lady Langdale, 'who is Miss Broadhurst talking to?'</p>
<p>'Eh! now really—'pon honour—don't know,' replied Heathcock.</p>
<p>'And yet he certainly looks like somebody one certainly should know,'
pursued Lady Langdale, 'though I don't recollect seeing him anywhere
before.'</p>
<p>'Really now!' was all the satisfaction she could gain from the insensible,
immovable colonel. However, her ladyship, after sending a whisper along
the line, gained the desired information, that the young gentleman was
Lord Colambre, son, only son, of Lord and Lady Clonbrony—that he was
just come from Cambridge—that he was not yet of age—that he
would be of age within a year—that he would then, after the death of
somebody, come into possession of a fine estate, by the mother's side 'and
therefore, Cat'rine, my dear,' said she, turning round to the daughter,
who had first pointed him out, 'you understand, we should never talk about
other people's affairs.'</p>
<p>'No, mamma, never. I hope to goodness, mamma, Lord Colambre did not hear
what you and Mrs. Dareville were saying!'</p>
<p>'How could he, child? He was quite at the other end of the world.'</p>
<p>'I beg your pardon, ma'am, he was at my elbow, close behind us; but I
never thought about him till I heard somebody say, "My lord—"'</p>
<p>'Good heavens! I hope he didn't hear.'</p>
<p>'But, for my part, I said nothing,' cried Lady Langdale.</p>
<p>'And for my part, I said nothing but what everybody knows!' cried Mrs.
Dareville.</p>
<p>'And for my part, I am guilty only of hearing,' said the duchess. 'Do,
pray, Colonel Heathcock, have the goodness to see what my people are
about, and what chance we have of getting away to-night.'</p>
<p>'The Duchess of Torcaster's carriage stops the way!'—a joyful sound
to Colonel Heathcock and to her grace, and not less agreeable, at this
instant, to Lady Langdale, who, the moment she was disembarrassed of the
duchess, pressed through the crowd to Lady Clonbrony, and, addressing her
with smiles and complacency, was 'charmed to have a little moment to speak
to her—could NOT sooner get through the crowd—would certainly
do herself the honour to be at her ladyship's gala on Wednesday.' While
Lady Langdale spoke, she never seemed to see or think of anybody but Lady
Clonbrony, though, all the time, she was intent upon every motion of Lord
Colambre, and, whilst she was obliged to listen with a face of sympathy to
a long complaint of Lady Clonbrony's, about Mr. Soho's want of taste in
ottomans, she was vexed to perceive that his lordship showed no desire to
be introduced to her, or to her daughters; but, on the contrary, was
standing talking to Miss Nugent. His mother, at the end of her speech,
looked round for Colambre called him twice before he heard—introduced
him to Lady Langdale, and to Lady Cat'rine, and Lady Anne—, and to
Mrs. Dareville; to all of whom he bowed with an air of proud coldness,
which gave them reason to regret that their remarks upon his mother and
his family had not been made SOTTO VOCE.</p>
<p>'Lady Langdale's carriage stops the way!' Lord Colambre made no offer of
his services, notwithstanding a look from his mother. Incapable of the
meanness of voluntarily listening to a conversation not intended for him
to hear, he had, however, been compelled, by the pressure of the crowd, to
remain a few minutes stationary, where he could not avoid hearing the
remarks of the fashionable friends. Disdaining dissimulation, he made no
attempt to conceal his displeasure. Perhaps his vexation was increased by
his consciousness that there was some mixture of truth in their sarcasms.
He was sensible that his mother, in some points—her manners, for
instance—was oblivious to ridicule and satire. In Lady Clonbrony's
address there was a mixture of constraint, affectation, and indecision,
unusual in a person of her birth, rank, and knowledge of the world. A
natural and unnatural manner seemed struggling in all her gestures, and in
every syllable that she articulated—a naturally free, familiar,
good-natured, precipitate, Irish manner, had been schooled, and schooled
late in life, into a sober, cold, still, stiff deportment, which she
mistook for English. A strong, Hibernian accent, she had, with infinite
difficulty, changed into an English tone. Mistaking reverse of wrong for
right, she caricatured the English pronunciation; and the extraordinary
precision of her London phraseology betrayed her not to be a Londoner, as
the man, who strove to pass for an Athenian, was detected by his Attic
dialect. Not aware of her real danger, Lady Clonbrony was, on the opposite
side, in continual apprehension, every time she opened her lips, lest some
treacherous A or E, some strong R, some puzzling aspirate, or
non-aspirate, some unguarded note, interrogative or expostulatory, should
betray her to be an Irishwoman. Mrs. Dareville had, in her mimickry,
perhaps a little exaggerated as to the TEEBLES and CHEERS, but still the
general likeness of the representation of Lady Clonbrony was strong enough
to strike and vex her son. He had now, for the first time, an opportunity
of judging of the estimation in which his mother and his family were held
by certain leaders of the ton, of whom, in her letters, she had spoken so
much, and into whose society, or rather into whose parties, she had been
admitted. He saw that the renegade cowardice, with which she denied,
abjured, and reviled her own country, gained nothing but ridicule and
contempt. He loved his mother; and, whilst he endeavoured to conceal her
faults and foibles as much as possible from his own heart, he could not
endure those who dragged them to light and ridicule. The next morning the
first thing that occurred to Lord Colambre's remembrance when he awoke was
the sound of the contemptuous emphasis which had been laid on the words
IRISH ABSENTEES! This led to recollections of his native country, to
comparisons of past and present scenes, to future plans of life. Young and
careless as he seemed, Lord Colambre was capable of serious reflection. Of
naturally quick and strong capacity, ardent affections, impetuous temper,
the early years of his childhood passed at his father's castle in Ireland,
where, from the lowest servant to the well-dressed dependant of the
family, everybody had conspired to wait upon, to fondle, to flatter, to
worship, this darling of their lord. Yet he was not spoiled—not
rendered selfish. For, in the midst of this flattery and servility, some
strokes of genuine generous affection had gone home to his little heart;
and, though unqualified submission had increased the natural impetuosity
of his temper, and though visions of his future grandeur had touched his
infant thought, yet, fortunately, before he acquired any fixed habits of
insolence or tyranny, he was carried far away from all that were bound or
willing to submit to his commands, far away from all signs of hereditary
grandeur—plunged into one of our great public schools—into a
new world. Forced to struggle, mind and body, with his equals, his rivals,
the little lord became a spirited schoolboy, and, in time, a man.
Fortunately for him, science and literature happened to be the fashion
among a set of clever young men with whom he was at Cambridge. His
ambition for intellectual superiority was raised, his views were enlarged,
his tastes and his manners formed. The sobriety of English good sense
mixed most advantageously with Irish vivacity; English prudence governed,
but did not extinguish his Irish enthusiasm. But, in fact, English and
Irish had not been invidiously contrasted in his mind: he had been so long
resident in England, and so intimately connected with Englishmen, that he
was not oblivious to any of the commonplace ridicule thrown upon
Hibernians; and he had lived with men who were too well informed and
liberal to misjudge or depreciate a sister country. He had found, from
experience, that, however reserved the English may be in manner, they are
warm at heart; that, however averse they may be from forming new
acquaintance, their esteem and confidence once gained, they make the most
solid friends. He had formed friendships in England; he was fully sensible
of the superior comforts, refinement, and information, of English society;
but his own country was endeared to him by early association, and a sense
of duty and patriotism attached him to Ireland. And shall I too be an
absentee? was a question which resulted from these reflections—a
question which he was not yet prepared to answer decidedly. In the
meantime, the first business of the morning was to execute a commission
for a Cambridge friend. Mr. Berryl had bought from Mr. Mordicai, a famous
London coachmaker, a curricle, WARRANTED SOUND, for which he had paid a
sound price, upon express condition that Mr. Mordicai, BARRING ACCIDENTS,
should be answerable for all repairs of the curricle for six months. In
three, both the carriage and body were found to be good for nothing—the
curricle had been returned to Mr. Mordicai—nothing had since been
heard of it, or from him—and Lord Colambre had undertaken to pay him
and it a visit, and to make all proper inquiries. Accordingly, he went to
the coachmaker's, and, obtaining no satisfaction from the underlings,
desired to see the head of the house. He was answered, that Mr. Mordicai
was not at home. His lordship had never seen Mr. Mordicai; but, just then,
he saw, walking across the yard, a man, who looked something like a Bond
Street coxcomb, but not the least like a gentleman, who called, in the
tone of a master, for 'Mr. Mordicai's barouche!' It appeared; and he was
stepping into it when Lord Colambre took the liberty of stopping him; and,
pointing to the wreck of Mr. Berryl's curricle, now standing in the yard,
began a statement of his friend's grievances, and an appeal to common
justice and conscience, which he, unknowing the nature of the man with
whom he had to deal, imagined must be irresistible. Mr. Mordicai stood
without moving a muscle of his dark wooden face. Indeed, in his face there
appeared to be no muscles, or none which could move; so that, though he
had what are generally called handsome features, there was, all together,
something unnatural and shocking in his countenance. When, at last, his
eyes turned, and his lips opened, this seemed to be done by machinery, and
not by the will of a living creature, or from the impulse of a rational
soul. Lord Colambre was so much struck with this strange physiognomy, that
he actually forgot much he had to say of springs and wheels. But it was no
matter. Whatever he had said, it would have come to the same thing; and
Mordicai would have answered as he now did—</p>
<p>'Sir, it was my partner made that bargain, not myself; and I don't hold
myself bound by it, for he is the sleeping-partner only, and not empowered
to act in the way of business. Had Mr. Berryl bargained with me, I should
have told him that he should have looked to these things before his
carriage went out of our yard.'</p>
<p>The indignation of Lord Colambre kindled at these words—but in vain.
To all that indignation could by word or look urge against Mordicai, he
replied—</p>
<p>'Maybe so, sir; the law is open to your friend—the law is open to
all men who can pay for it.'</p>
<p>Lord Colambre turned in despair from the callous coach-maker, and listened
to one of his more compassionate-looking workmen, who was reviewing the
disabled curricle; and, whilst he was waiting to know the sum of his
friend's misfortune, a fat, jolly, Falstaff looking personage came into
the yard, accosted Mordicai with a degree of familiarity, which, from a
gentleman, appeared to Lord Colambre to be almost impossible.</p>
<p>'How are you, Mordicai, my good fellow?' cried he, speaking with a strong
Irish accent.</p>
<p>'Who is this?' whispered Lord Colambre to the foreman, who was examining
the curricle.</p>
<p>'Sir Terence O'Fay, sir. There must be entire new wheels.'</p>
<p>'Now tell me, my tight fellow,' continued Sir Terence, holding Mordicai
fast, 'when, in the name of all the saints, good or bad, in the calendar,
do you reckon to let us sport the SUICIDE?'</p>
<p>Mordicai forcibly drew his mouth into what he meant for a smile, and
answered, 'As soon as possible, Sir Terence.'</p>
<p>Sir Terence, in a tone of jocose, wheedling expostulation, entreated him
to have the carriage finished OUT OF HAND. 'Ah, now! Mordy, my precious!
let us have it by the birthday, and come and dine with us o' Monday, at
the Hibernian Hotel—there's a rare one—will you?'</p>
<p>Mordicai accepted the invitation, and promised faithfully that the SUICIDE
should be finished by the birthday. Sir Terence shook hands upon this
promise, and, after telling a good story, which made one of the workmen in
the yard—an Irishman—grin with delight, walked off. Mordicai,
first waiting till the knight was out of hearing, called aloud—</p>
<p>'You grinning rascal! mind, at your peril, and don't let that there
carriage be touched, d'ye see, till further orders.'</p>
<p>One of Mr. Mordicai's clerks, with a huge long-feathered pen behind his
ear, observed that Mr. Mordicai was right in that caution, for that, to
the best of his comprehension, Sir Terence O'Fay and his principal, too,
were over head and ears in debt.</p>
<p>Mordicai coolly answered that he was well aware of that; but that the
estate could afford to dip further; that, for his part, he was under no
apprehension; he knew how to look sharp, and to bite before he was bit.
That he knew Sir Terence and his principal were leagued together to give
the creditors THE GO BY, but that, clever as they both were at that work,
he trusted he was their match.</p>
<p>'Will you be so good, sir, to finish making out this estimate for me?'
interrupted Lord Colambre.</p>
<p>'Immediately, sir. Sixty-nine pound four, and the perch. Let us see—Mr.
Mordicai, ask him, ask Paddy, about Sir Terence,' said the foreman,
pointing back over his shoulder to the Irish workman, who was at this
moment pretending to be wondrous hard at work. However, when Mr. Mordicai
defied him to tell him anything he did not know, Paddy, parting with an
untasted bit of tobacco, began, and recounted some of Sir Terence O'Fay's
exploits in evading duns, replevying cattle, fighting sheriffs, bribing
SUBS, managing cants, tricking CUSTODEES, in language so strange, and with
a countenance and gestures so full of enjoyment of the jest, that, whilst
Mordicai stood for a moment aghast with astonishment, Lord Colambre could
not help laughing, partly at, and partly with, his countryman. All the
yard were in a roar of laughter, though they did not understand half of
what they heard; but their risible muscles were acted upon mechanically,
or maliciously, merely by the sound of the Irish brogue.</p>
<p>Mordicai, waiting till the laugh was over, dryly observed that 'the law is
executed in another guess sort of way in England from what it is in
Ireland'; therefore, for his part, he desired nothing better than to set
his wits fairly against such SHARKS. That there was a pleasure in doing up
a debtor which none but a creditor could know.</p>
<p>'In a moment, sir; if you'll have a moment's patience, sir, if you
please,' said the slow foreman to Lord Colambre; 'I must go down the
pounds once more, and then I'll let you have it.'</p>
<p>'I'll tell you what, Smithfield,' continued Mr. Mordicai, coming close
beside his foreman, and speaking very low, but with a voice trembling with
anger, for he was piqued by his foreman's doubts of his capacity to cope
with Sir Terence O'Fay; 'I'll tell you what, Smithfield, I'll be cursed,
if I don't get every inch of them into my power. You know how?'</p>
<p>'You are the best judge, sir,' replied the foreman; 'but I would not
undertake Sir Terence; and the question is, whether the estate will answer
the LOT of the debts, and whether you know them all for certain?'</p>
<p>'I do, sir, I tell you. There's Green there's Blancham—there's Gray—there's
Soho—naming several more—and, to my knowledge, Lord Clonbrony—'</p>
<p>'Stop, sir,' cried Lord Colambre in a voice which made Mordicai, and
everybody present, start—'I am his son—'</p>
<p>'The devil!' said Mordicai.</p>
<p>'God bless every bone in his body, then! he's an Irishman,' cried Paddy;
'and there was the RASON my heart warmed to him from the first minute he
come into the yard, though I did not know it till now.'</p>
<p>'What, sir! are you my Lord Colambre?' said Mr. Mordicai, recovering, but
not clearly recovering, his intellects. 'I beg pardon, but I did not know
you WAS Lord Colambre. I thought you told me you was the friend of Mr.
Berryl.'</p>
<p>'I do not see the incompatibility of the assertion, sir,' replied Lord
Colambre, taking from the bewildered foreman's unresisting hand the
account, which he had been so long FURNISHING.</p>
<p>'Give me leave, my lord,' said Mordicai. 'I beg your pardon, my lord,
perhaps we can compromise that business for your friend Mr. Berryl; since
he is your lordship's friend, perhaps we can contrive to COMPROMISE and
SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE.'</p>
<p>TO COMPROMISE and SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE, Mordicai thought were favourite
phrases, and approved Hibernian modes of doing business, which would
conciliate this young Irish nobleman, and dissipate the proud tempest
which had gathered and now swelled in his breast.</p>
<p>'No, sir, no!' cried Lord Colambre, holding firm the paper. 'I want no
favour from you. I will accept of none for my friend or for myself.'</p>
<p>'Favour! No, my lord, I should not presume to offer—But I should
wish, if you'll allow me, to do your friend justice.'</p>
<p>Lord Colambre recollecting that he had no right, in his pride, to ding
away his friend's money, let Mr. Mordicai look at the account; and, his
impetuous temper in a few moments recovered by good sense, he considered
that, as his person was utterly unknown to Mr. Mordicai, no offence could
have been intended to him, and that, perhaps, in what had been said of his
father's debts and distress, there might be more truth than he was aware
of. Prudently, therefore, controlling his feelings, and commanding
himself, he suffered Mr. Mordicai to show him into a parlour, to SETTLE
his friend's business. In a few minutes the account was reduced to a
reasonable form, and, in consideration of the partner's having made the
bargain, by which Mr. Mordicai felt himself influenced in honour, though
not bound in law, he undertook to have the curricle made better than new
again, for Mr. Berryl, for twenty guineas. Then came awkward apologies to
Lord Colambre, which he ill endured. 'Between ourselves, my lord,'
continued Mordicai—</p>
<p>But the familiarity of the phrase, 'Between ourselves'—this
implication of equality—Lord Colambre could not admit; he moved
hastily towards the door and departed.</p>
<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"></SPAN></p>
<br/>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />