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<h2> Chapter the Last </h2>
<p>A parting glance at such of the actors in this little history as it has
not, in the course of its events, dismissed, will bring it to an end.</p>
<p>Mr Haredale fled that night. Before pursuit could be begun, indeed before
Sir John was traced or missed, he had left the kingdom. Repairing straight
to a religious establishment, known throughout Europe for the rigour and
severity of its discipline, and for the merciless penitence it exacted
from those who sought its shelter as a refuge from the world, he took the
vows which thenceforth shut him out from nature and his kind, and after a
few remorseful years was buried in its gloomy cloisters.</p>
<p>Two days elapsed before the body of Sir John was found. As soon as it was
recognised and carried home, the faithful valet, true to his master’s
creed, eloped with all the cash and movables he could lay his hands on,
and started as a finished gentleman upon his own account. In this career
he met with great success, and would certainly have married an heiress in
the end, but for an unlucky check which led to his premature decease. He
sank under a contagious disorder, very prevalent at that time, and
vulgarly termed the jail fever.</p>
<p>Lord George Gordon, remaining in his prison in the Tower until Monday the
fifth of February in the following year, was on that day solemnly tried at
Westminster for High Treason. Of this crime he was, after a patient
investigation, declared Not Guilty; upon the ground that there was no
proof of his having called the multitude together with any traitorous or
unlawful intentions. Yet so many people were there, still, to whom those
riots taught no lesson of reproof or moderation, that a public
subscription was set on foot in Scotland to defray the cost of his
defence.</p>
<p>For seven years afterwards he remained, at the strong intercession of his
friends, comparatively quiet; saving that he, every now and then, took
occasion to display his zeal for the Protestant faith in some extravagant
proceeding which was the delight of its enemies; and saving, besides, that
he was formally excommunicated by the Archbishop of Canterbury, for
refusing to appear as a witness in the Ecclesiastical Court when cited for
that purpose. In the year 1788 he was stimulated by some new insanity to
write and publish an injurious pamphlet, reflecting on the Queen of
France, in very violent terms. Being indicted for the libel, and (after
various strange demonstrations in court) found guilty, he fled into
Holland in place of appearing to receive sentence: from whence, as the
quiet burgomasters of Amsterdam had no relish for his company, he was sent
home again with all speed. Arriving in the month of July at Harwich, and
going thence to Birmingham, he made in the latter place, in August, a
public profession of the Jewish religion; and figured there as a Jew until
he was arrested, and brought back to London to receive the sentence he had
evaded. By virtue of this sentence he was, in the month of December, cast
into Newgate for five years and ten months, and required besides to pay a
large fine, and to furnish heavy securities for his future good behaviour.</p>
<p>After addressing, in the midsummer of the following year, an appeal to the
commiseration of the National Assembly of France, which the English
minister refused to sanction, he composed himself to undergo his full term
of punishment; and suffering his beard to grow nearly to his waist, and
conforming in all respects to the ceremonies of his new religion, he
applied himself to the study of history, and occasionally to the art of
painting, in which, in his younger days, he had shown some skill. Deserted
by his former friends, and treated in all respects like the worst criminal
in the jail, he lingered on, quite cheerful and resigned, until the 1st of
November 1793, when he died in his cell, being then only three-and-forty
years of age.</p>
<p>Many men with fewer sympathies for the distressed and needy, with less
abilities and harder hearts, have made a shining figure and left a
brilliant fame. He had his mourners. The prisoners bemoaned his loss, and
missed him; for though his means were not large, his charity was great,
and in bestowing alms among them he considered the necessities of all
alike, and knew no distinction of sect or creed. There are wise men in the
highways of the world who may learn something, even from this poor crazy
lord who died in Newgate.</p>
<p>To the last, he was truly served by bluff John Grueby. John was at his
side before he had been four-and-twenty hours in the Tower, and never left
him until he died. He had one other constant attendant, in the person of a
beautiful Jewish girl; who attached herself to him from feelings half
religious, half romantic, but whose virtuous and disinterested character
appears to have been beyond the censure even of the most censorious.</p>
<p>Gashford deserted him, of course. He subsisted for a time upon his traffic
in his master’s secrets; and, this trade failing when the stock was quite
exhausted, procured an appointment in the honourable corps of spies and
eavesdroppers employed by the government. As one of these wretched
underlings, he did his drudgery, sometimes abroad, sometimes at home, and
long endured the various miseries of such a station. Ten or a dozen years
ago—not more—a meagre, wan old man, diseased and miserably
poor, was found dead in his bed at an obscure inn in the Borough, where he
was quite unknown. He had taken poison. There was no clue to his name; but
it was discovered from certain entries in a pocket-book he carried, that
he had been secretary to Lord George Gordon in the time of the famous
riots.</p>
<p>Many months after the re-establishment of peace and order, and even when
it had ceased to be the town-talk, that every military officer, kept at
free quarters by the City during the late alarms, had cost for his board
and lodging four pounds four per day, and every private soldier two and
twopence halfpenny; many months after even this engrossing topic was
forgotten, and the United Bulldogs were to a man all killed, imprisoned,
or transported, Mr Simon Tappertit, being removed from a hospital to
prison, and thence to his place of trial, was discharged by proclamation,
on two wooden legs. Shorn of his graceful limbs, and brought down from his
high estate to circumstances of utter destitution, and the deepest misery,
he made shift to stump back to his old master, and beg for some relief. By
the locksmith’s advice and aid, he was established in business as a
shoeblack, and opened shop under an archway near the Horse Guards. This
being a central quarter, he quickly made a very large connection; and on
levee days, was sometimes known to have as many as twenty half-pay
officers waiting their turn for polishing. Indeed his trade increased to
that extent, that in course of time he entertained no less than two
apprentices, besides taking for his wife the widow of an eminent bone and
rag collector, formerly of Millbank. With this lady (who assisted in the
business) he lived in great domestic happiness, only chequered by those
little storms which serve to clear the atmosphere of wedlock, and brighten
its horizon. In some of these gusts of bad weather, Mr Tappertit would, in
the assertion of his prerogative, so far forget himself, as to correct his
lady with a brush, or boot, or shoe; while she (but only in extreme cases)
would retaliate by taking off his legs, and leaving him exposed to the
derision of those urchins who delight in mischief.</p>
<p>Miss Miggs, baffled in all her schemes, matrimonial and otherwise, and
cast upon a thankless, undeserving world, turned very sharp and sour; and
did at length become so acid, and did so pinch and slap and tweak the hair
and noses of the youth of Golden Lion Court, that she was by one consent
expelled that sanctuary, and desired to bless some other spot of earth, in
preference. It chanced at that moment, that the justices of the peace for
Middlesex proclaimed by public placard that they stood in need of a female
turnkey for the County Bridewell, and appointed a day and hour for the
inspection of candidates. Miss Miggs attending at the time appointed, was
instantly chosen and selected from one hundred and twenty-four
competitors, and at once promoted to the office; which she held until her
decease, more than thirty years afterwards, remaining single all that
time. It was observed of this lady that while she was inflexible and grim
to all her female flock, she was particularly so to those who could
establish any claim to beauty: and it was often remarked as a proof of her
indomitable virtue and severe chastity, that to such as had been frail she
showed no mercy; always falling upon them on the slightest occasion, or on
no occasion at all, with the fullest measure of her wrath. Among other
useful inventions which she practised upon this class of offenders and
bequeathed to posterity, was the art of inflicting an exquisitely vicious
poke or dig with the wards of a key in the small of the back, near the
spine. She likewise originated a mode of treading by accident (in pattens)
on such as had small feet; also very remarkable for its ingenuity, and
previously quite unknown.</p>
<p>It was not very long, you may be sure, before Joe Willet and Dolly Varden
were made husband and wife, and with a handsome sum in bank (for the
locksmith could afford to give his daughter a good dowry), reopened the
Maypole. It was not very long, you may be sure, before a red-faced little
boy was seen staggering about the Maypole passage, and kicking up his
heels on the green before the door. It was not very long, counting by
years, before there was a red-faced little girl, another red-faced little
boy, and a whole troop of girls and boys: so that, go to Chigwell when you
would, there would surely be seen, either in the village street, or on the
green, or frolicking in the farm-yard—for it was a farm now, as well
as a tavern—more small Joes and small Dollys than could be easily
counted. It was not a very long time before these appearances ensued; but
it WAS a VERY long time before Joe looked five years older, or Dolly
either, or the locksmith either, or his wife either: for cheerfulness and
content are great beautifiers, and are famous preservers of youthful
looks, depend upon it.</p>
<p>It was a long time, too, before there was such a country inn as the
Maypole, in all England: indeed it is a great question whether there has
ever been such another to this hour, or ever will be. It was a long time
too—for Never, as the proverb says, is a long day—before they
forgot to have an interest in wounded soldiers at the Maypole, or before
Joe omitted to refresh them, for the sake of his old campaign; or before
the serjeant left off looking in there, now and then; or before they
fatigued themselves, or each other, by talking on these occasions of
battles and sieges, and hard weather and hard service, and a thousand
things belonging to a soldier’s life. As to the great silver snuff-box
which the King sent Joe with his own hand, because of his conduct in the
Riots, what guest ever went to the Maypole without putting finger and
thumb into that box, and taking a great pinch, though he had never taken a
pinch of snuff before, and almost sneezed himself into convulsions even
then? As to the purple-faced vintner, where is the man who lived in those
times and never saw HIM at the Maypole: to all appearance as much at home
in the best room, as if he lived there? And as to the feastings and
christenings, and revellings at Christmas, and celebrations of birthdays,
wedding-days, and all manner of days, both at the Maypole and the Golden
Key,—if they are not notorious, what facts are?</p>
<p>Mr Willet the elder, having been by some extraordinary means possessed
with the idea that Joe wanted to be married, and that it would be well for
him, his father, to retire into private life, and enable him to live in
comfort, took up his abode in a small cottage at Chigwell; where they
widened and enlarged the fireplace for him, hung up the boiler, and
furthermore planted in the little garden outside the front-door, a
fictitious Maypole; so that he was quite at home directly. To this, his
new habitation, Tom Cobb, Phil Parkes, and Solomon Daisy went regularly
every night: and in the chimney-corner, they all four quaffed, and smoked,
and prosed, and dozed, as they had done of old. It being accidentally
discovered after a short time that Mr Willet still appeared to consider
himself a landlord by profession, Joe provided him with a slate, upon
which the old man regularly scored up vast accounts for meat, drink, and
tobacco. As he grew older this passion increased upon him; and it became
his delight to chalk against the name of each of his cronies a sum of
enormous magnitude, and impossible to be paid: and such was his secret joy
in these entries, that he would be perpetually seen going behind the door
to look at them, and coming forth again, suffused with the liveliest
satisfaction.</p>
<p>He never recovered the surprise the Rioters had given him, and remained in
the same mental condition down to the last moment of his life. It was like
to have been brought to a speedy termination by the first sight of his
first grandchild, which appeared to fill him with the belief that some
alarming miracle had happened to Joe. Being promptly blooded, however, by
a skilful surgeon, he rallied; and although the doctors all agreed, on his
being attacked with symptoms of apoplexy six months afterwards, that he
ought to die, and took it very ill that he did not, he remained alive—possibly
on account of his constitutional slowness—for nearly seven years
more, when he was one morning found speechless in his bed. He lay in this
state, free from all tokens of uneasiness, for a whole week, when he was
suddenly restored to consciousness by hearing the nurse whisper in his
son’s ear that he was going. ‘I’m a-going, Joseph,’ said Mr Willet,
turning round upon the instant, ‘to the Salwanners’—and immediately
gave up the ghost.</p>
<p>He left a large sum of money behind him; even more than he was supposed to
have been worth, although the neighbours, according to the custom of
mankind in calculating the wealth that other people ought to have saved,
had estimated his property in good round numbers. Joe inherited the whole;
so that he became a man of great consequence in those parts, and was
perfectly independent.</p>
<p>Some time elapsed before Barnaby got the better of the shock he had
sustained, or regained his old health and gaiety. But he recovered by
degrees: and although he could never separate his condemnation and escape
from the idea of a terrific dream, he became, in other respects, more
rational. Dating from the time of his recovery, he had a better memory and
greater steadiness of purpose; but a dark cloud overhung his whole
previous existence, and never cleared away.</p>
<p>He was not the less happy for this, for his love of freedom and interest
in all that moved or grew, or had its being in the elements, remained to
him unimpaired. He lived with his mother on the Maypole farm, tending the
poultry and the cattle, working in a garden of his own, and helping
everywhere. He was known to every bird and beast about the place, and had
a name for every one. Never was there a lighter-hearted husbandman, a
creature more popular with young and old, a blither or more happy soul
than Barnaby; and though he was free to ramble where he would, he never
quitted Her, but was for evermore her stay and comfort.</p>
<p>It was remarkable that although he had that dim sense of the past, he
sought out Hugh’s dog, and took him under his care; and that he never
could be tempted into London. When the Riots were many years old, and
Edward and his wife came back to England with a family almost as numerous
as Dolly’s, and one day appeared at the Maypole porch, he knew them
instantly, and wept and leaped for joy. But neither to visit them, nor on
any other pretence, no matter how full of promise and enjoyment, could he
be persuaded to set foot in the streets: nor did he ever conquer this
repugnance or look upon the town again.</p>
<p>Grip soon recovered his looks, and became as glossy and sleek as ever. But
he was profoundly silent. Whether he had forgotten the art of Polite
Conversation in Newgate, or had made a vow in those troubled times to
forego, for a period, the display of his accomplishments, is matter of
uncertainty; but certain it is that for a whole year he never indulged in
any other sound than a grave, decorous croak. At the expiration of that
term, the morning being very bright and sunny, he was heard to address
himself to the horses in the stable, upon the subject of the Kettle, so
often mentioned in these pages; and before the witness who overheard him
could run into the house with the intelligence, and add to it upon his
solemn affirmation the statement that he had heard him laugh, the bird
himself advanced with fantastic steps to the very door of the bar, and
there cried, ‘I’m a devil, I’m a devil, I’m a devil!’ with extraordinary
rapture.</p>
<p>From that period (although he was supposed to be much affected by the
death of Mr Willet senior), he constantly practised and improved himself
in the vulgar tongue; and, as he was a mere infant for a raven when
Barnaby was grey, he has very probably gone on talking to the present
time.</p>
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