<h2><SPAN name="ChXX" name="ChXX">CHAPTER XX</SPAN></h2>
<h3>“YOU ARE—MYSELF!”</h3>
<p>And then in my wickedness I began to commit a desecration on the
memory of my beautiful and honored Grandmamma Carruthers. I walked
to that glass case in which reposed that gown of the beautiful
flowered silk and took it therefrom and laid it upon a chair above
the soiled riding breeches of corduroy I had so lately discarded. I
opened the carved wooden box on the table underneath and took from
it the silver slippers and the stockings of silk, also the lace fan
and the silver band for the hair. Thereupon I walked to my mirror
and commenced to make a toilet of great care but of a great
rapidity.</p>
<p>My first action was to take down that lovelock and with the oil
of roses to lay it in its accustomed place upon my cheek, which
burned with a beautiful rose of shame and at the same moment with
some other emotion that I did not understand; which emotion also
made my eyes as bright as the night stars out in that Camp Heaven.
The silver band held closely the rest of my mop and gave it the
appearance of the very close coiffure which is the fashion of this
day, and one very sweet young rose I put into it just above the
curl with an effect of great and wicked beauty.</p>
<p>The coiffure having been accomplished, the rest of the toilet,
from the slippers of the cloth of silver to the edge of fine old
lace, now the color of rich cream, that rested upon the arch of my
bare white breast was only a matter of a few moments, and then I
stood away from my mirror and beheld myself therein.</p>
<p>“You are as beautiful as you are wicked, Roberta, Marquise
of Grez and Bye, but you go to your death in a manner befitting a
<em>grande dame</em> of your ancient house of France, whose
daughters once showed the rabble how to approach a guillotine,
costumed in magnificence. Descend for that cold knife to your
heart!” And so speaking, I picked up my fan and made my way
through the hall to the halfway of the wide steps. At that point a
commotion occurred.</p>
<p>“Lordee! It’s the old lady come to
ha’nt!” exclaimed my good Bonbon and with a groan he
fled into the darkness in the back regions of the house.</p>
<p>And it happened that his loud cry brought a response which came
to me before I was quite in readiness for it. As I reached the last
step of the wide staircase, under the bright light I raised my
eyes, and behold, the Gouverneur Faulkner to whom I had descended
for the purpose of mortal combat, stood before me!</p>
<p>And was it that cruel and wicked and cold Gouverneur Faulkner
who was to scourge me and keep me in the house of my Uncle, the
General Robert, for a dishonor? It was not. Before me stood a tall
man who was of a great paleness and a terrible fatigue also,
covered with the dust of a long, hard ride, with eyes that were
full of a fear, who stood and looked at me with not one word of any
kind.</p>
<p>Suddenly I bowed my head and stretched out my bare arms, the one
of which bore the red scar from the wound suffered for him, and
thus suppliant I waited to receive the reproaches that were due to
me.</p>
<p>And for a long minute I waited and then again for another long
period of time and no word came to me. Then I raised my head!</p>
<p>For all women now in the world who have the love of a man in
their hearts, and for those unborn who will come into that
possession, I pray that they may be given the opportunity to plant
in the hearts of those men of their desire the seed of a fine
loyalty and service and comradeship, and that they may some day
look into his eyes and see that seed slowly expand into a great
white flower of mate love, as I beheld bloom for me in the eyes of
my beloved Gouverneur Faulkner. Long we stood there and looked into
the soul of each other and let the flower grow, drinking from our
hearts and the veins of our bodies until at last it was fully open;
and then I went with a love cry into his arms held out to me, and
pressed the heart of my soft woman’s body close against his
own.</p>
<p>“I think my heart has always known, though my mind’s
eyes were blind. God, if I had lost you into that hell of war, you
daredevil!” he whispered and I tasted the salt of his tears
on my lips.</p>
<p>“I am a lie,” I whispered back to him.</p>
<p>“You are—myself,” he laughed through a sob,
and then, while with his large warm hand he held my throat as a
person does the stem of a flower, he pressed his lips into mine
until they reached to the heart within me. In a moment with my
hands I held him back from me.</p>
<p>“I must go, my beloved, even as I have said,” I
cried to him. “I cannot stay to my dishonor and to the rage
and unhappiness my Uncle, the General Robert, will experience when
he discovers that a girl has cheated him in his great affection and
generosity to her.</p>
<p>“It <em>is</em> going to be hard on the General to have
his grandmother come to life on his hands like this,” laughed
my Gouverneur Faulkner, bending and placing upon the creamy lace of
my Grandmamma a kiss which was warm to my heart through the
beflowered silk.</p>
<p>“Let me die in those trenches so that he will never
know,” I pleaded.</p>
<p>“No, sweetheart, that would be too easy. You are going to
stay right here and face the old Forty-Two Centimeter,” he
made a reply to my pleading request as he bent and laid his cheek
upon the lovelock. “That curl ought to have opened my eyes
when I sat and watched you open yours day before yesterday
morning,” was the remark he added to his cruel command that I
stay and face my very dreadful and so very much beloved Uncle, the
General Robert.</p>
<p>“I am afraid,” I answered as I clung to him with a
trembling.</p>
<p>“Yes, I know you are afraid of him—or
anything,” laughed my beloved Gouverneur Faulkner with a
shake of my bare shoulders under his strong hands. “But
perhaps these papers I have in my pocket from Captain Lasselles,
who is at the Mansion getting rid of dust, will help you out after
the first explosion, which you will have to stand in a very few
minutes from now, if that hall clock is correct and I know the
General’s habits as I think I do.”</p>
<p>“Oh, let me ascend and get once again into my
trousers!” I exclaimed as I sought to leave the arms that
again held me close.</p>
<p>“Never,” said my Gouverneur Faulkner after another
kiss upon the lace on my breast. “You’ll just wear this
ball gown until you can get some dimity, Madam, and don’t you
ever even mention to me—”</p>
<p>But just here an interruption arrived, and I sprang from the
arms of my Gouverneur Faulkner only in time to avoid being
discovered therein. My beloved Uncle, the General Robert, entered
the door in a great hurry, with that much frightened Bonbon
following close at his heels.</p>
<p>“What’s all this that fool nigger phoned about
ghosts walking and—” Then he stood very still in the
spot upon which his feet were placed and regarded me as I turned
from the arms of my Gouverneur Faulkner and faced him.</p>
<p>“My God, Governor, what has happened to my boy?” he
asked, and his fine old face was of a great whiteness and
trembling. “Sam says he’s dead and the
ghost—” and then came another pause in which all of the
persons present held for a long minute their breath.</p>
<p>Did I make excuses and explanations and pleadings to my beloved
Uncle, the General Robert, in such suffering over the death of that
Robert? I did not. I opened my strong young arms wide and took him
into them with a tenderness of such great force that it would of a
necessity go into his very heart.</p>
<p>“I am a wicked girl who has come to you in lies as a boy,
my Uncle Robert, but I have a love that is so great for you that I
will be in death if you do not accept of it from me,” I said
as I pressed my cheek in its tears against his.</p>
<p>And for still another long minute all of the persons present
waited again and I forced to remain in my throat a sob, while my
beloved Gouverneur Faulkner laid one of his hands on the shoulder
of my Uncle, the General Robert.</p>
<p>And then did come that explosion!</p>
<p>“You young limb of Satan, you! I could shake the life out
of you if I didn’t prefer a live girl to a dead boy. I knew
just such a thing as this would happen to me in my old age for a
long life of cussedness. And what’s more, I’ll wager
I’ll never be able to give a great husky thing like you away.
You cost as much to feed as a man. Who’d want you?”</p>
<p>But even as he stormed at me I felt his strong old arms cease
from their tremblings and clasp me with a very rough
tenderness.</p>
<p>“I do, General,” said my Gouverneur Faulkner as he
attempted to take me from that very rough embrace of my Uncle, the
General Robert. “I’ll take her off your
hands.”</p>
<p>“No, sir, I never ask personal favors of my
friends,” answered my Uncle, the General Robert, as he held
me away from the arms of the Gouverneur Faulkner with a very great
determination.</p>
<p>“General Carruthers,” then said my beloved
Gouverneur Faulkner as he drew his beautiful body to all the height
that was possible to him, and looked into the eyes of my beloved
Uncle Robert with his own, which are stars of the dawn, so that all
of his heart and soul and honor shone therefrom in a radiance,
“the Marquise of Grez and Bye went a three days’
journey into the wilds of the Harpeth mountains with me to rescue
my honor and for the welfare of this great State and of France. And
because we thought not of ourselves but of the welfare of Harpeth
and of France, and did but what was necessary as two comrades, God
has revealed to us his gift of gifts—love. As you see, she is
returned to you radiant and unharmed. Have I your consent to try to
win her hand in marriage?”</p>
<p>For no more than a long minute my Uncle, the General Robert,
gazed straight into the eyes of my beloved Gouverneur Faulkner, and
then a very beautiful smile did break from under those white swords
crossed above his lips, as he spoke with a great urgency:</p>
<p>“Would you like to take the baggage along with you
to-night, Governor? Don’t leave her here. I don’t want
a woman about my house. I can wake up the county court clerk for a
license,” he said with a fine twinkling of the eye.</p>
<p>“Oh, but all friends must forgive me my deception; and
then must not a courtship of great decorum be made from my
Gouverneur Faulkner for the hand of the lady whom he would make his
wife?” I asked with an uncertainty as I looked from my Uncle,
the General Robert, to my Gouverneur Faulkner.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, sir, but I think the Marquise is right
and under the circumstances I’ll have to make a very public
courtship, which out of consideration for you I’ll make as
ardent and rapid as possible. Only we three know the wonderful
truth and we’ll keep it to ourselves.” And as he spoke
that great Gouverneur Faulkner bent and laid a kiss of great
ceremony upon the hand of Roberta, Marquise of Grez and Bye.</p>
<p>“Very well, sir, I’ll keep her for a few days and
have her fitted out in a lot of folderols for you, but only for a
short period, mind you. A very short period!” answered my
Uncle, the General Robert, with a smile that showed much delight in
me. I flew to him and gave to him an embrace with my arms and also
laid my cheek against his.</p>
<p>“I am for always your most humble and obedient girl, my
Uncle Robert,” I whispered to him.</p>
<p>“Humble and obedient—no woman would know those words
if she met them in her own drawing-room,” he answered to me
with a great scorn but he also gave to me a shake that was of a
seeming great fierceness, but that I knew to be a caress.</p>
<p>And into that caress came also another interruption of great
hurry. My Buzz entered the door with a rapidity and this
exclamation:</p>
<p>“What’s the trouble, General? I just got your phone
and—” Then he too stood in a great and sudden
stillness, regarding me as I stood from the shelter of the arms of
my Uncle, the General Robert, and looked into his eyes of great
fright.</p>
<p>“My Buzz,” I said to him softly.</p>
<p>“Great heavens!” he exclaimed, with terror in his
eyes as he backed away from me. “I haven’t had but one
glass of draft beer, General.”</p>
<p>“It’s all right, Buzz,” answered my very wise
Gouverneur Faulkner, in a voice of great soothing. “This is
just—just Robert in a—a—”</p>
<p>“Not much Bobby, that,” answered my Buzz as he
backed farther towards the door. “I think I’ll step
outside in the cool air. I haven’t felt well all day.
I—” and with which remark my good Buzz turned himself
into the arms of the lovely Mademoiselle Sue entering the door.</p>
<p>“I’m tired of waiting out there in that car, Buzz,
and—” And again came an awful pause of terror. But is
it not that women have a wit that is very much more rapid than is
that of men? I think it is so.</p>
<p>“You know, I thought Bobby was a queer kind of man and he
is a perfectly lovely girl,” she said as she came towards me
with a laugh and her lovely arms outstretched. “I read about
two French girls who got into Germany in German uniforms, just last
night in a magazine. You are some kind of a French spy about those
dreadful mules, aren’t you, Bobby dear?” And as she
asked that question of me, my lovely Sue gave to me a kiss upon my
lips that I valued with a great gratitude.</p>
<p>“Please make it that my Buzz also understands,” I
pleaded to her within her arms.</p>
<p>“Brace up, Buzz, and be nice to Bobby, even if he is a
girl. Just when did you begin not to like girls, I’d like to
know?” questioned my Sue of him with a great emphasis.</p>
<p>“You see why it is that I cannot go into that business of
timber with you and be married to—” I made a
commencement to say to him.</p>
<p>“That will do, L’Aiglon,” interrupted my Buzz
with a great haste and a glance in the direction of lovely Sue.
“Forget it! It is an awful shame, for you were one nice
youngster and—”</p>
<p>“Be a sport, Buzz, and forgive her and—love her
again,” said my Gouverneur Faulkner with a laugh. “That
is, as much as Miss Susan will—” But at this point my
Uncle, the General Robert, caused an interruption in the
conversation.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here, sir, when I left you to watch
the side-steps of that French popinjay and the Whitworth woman? Did
you hear what all that powwow was about at her tea fight this
afternoon?” he demanded of fine Buzz, with a great anxiety.
“There’s been hell to pay, since you left, Governor,
and I think this French scoundrel and Jeff’s gang are
preparing to put through some sort of a private steal if you jump
the track on them.”</p>
<p>“Madam Pat has got ’em all up at the Club, plotting
in a corner at the little dinner dance we got up when his
High-and-Mightiness refused the rural expedition, as soon as they
heard you were not to go, Governor,” said my Buzz with a
great anxiety in his face. “I’d like to see anybody put
out Mrs. Pat’s light when she is once lit.”</p>
<p>“It’s all right, Buzz, and don’t worry.
Something has arrived to stop it all. It’s up at the Mansion
now and is man-sized,” answered my beloved Gouverneur
Faulkner with a great soothing.</p>
<p>And after that remark there were many very long explanations
that made a beginning about the crooked back of the wee Pierre,
which, in a letter come to my Uncle, the General Robert, that day,
was declared by that great Doctor Burns to be of a certainty
straight within the year, and that ended in the library where my
Uncle, the General Robert, and my Gouverneur Faulkner, with good
Buzz, read and read yet again the papers that my great Capitaine,
the Count de Lasselles, had signed for an honest delivery of the
many mules to France. I do not know all that my beloved Gouverneur
Faulkner said to my Uncle, the General Robert, for I remained in
the hall with my Sue in a discussion about the telling without
offense of the departure of Robert Carruthers to my Belle and other
loved ones. And to us soon returned my Buzz of great curiosity.</p>
<p>“There is no humbleness that I will not perform for their
forgiveness, my Buzz and my Sue,” I said to them. “Seek
that they grant it to me.”</p>
<p>“Oh, it will be so exciting and up-to-date with its spy
and war flavor that everybody will forgive you. You are a lovely
darling and they’ll all be glad you are a girl—all the
boys especially,” said to me my Sue, with a defiance at my
Buzz.</p>
<p>“Sure, Bobbyette, I’ll see that you’re no
wall-flower,” he made answer to her in the person of me, with
a return of that defiance. “Come on, Susan, let me take you
home. Good night, old top—no, I mean <em>belle
Marquise</em>” and it was a very funny thing to see that Buzz
with a great awkwardness, bend and kiss my hand at a laugh from my
Sue as they left me.</p>
<p>It was not for many moments that I stood alone in the hall after
the departure of my Sue and my Buzz, before there entered my
beloved Uncle, the General Robert, and also my beloved Gouverneur
Faulkner, who came to stand, one upon the one side of me and one
upon the other.</p>
<p>“Sure you wouldn’t like to take her along with you
to-night, Governor?” again asked my Uncle, the General
Robert, with a great fierceness but also a twinkling of the
eye.</p>
<p>“Only as far as your garden for a few minutes,
General,” answered my Gouverneur Faulkner with that laugh of
a boy I had remarked once before up in those mountains of Old
Harpeth, and he took my hand in his as if to lead me through one of
the tall windows out into the fragrant night.</p>
<p>“All right, take her and don’t return her until you
have to,” remarked my Uncle, the General Robert, as he handed
me in the direction of my Gouverneur Faulkner and immediately took
his departure up the stairs.</p>
<p>And it was under the light of the old moon, in the garden of
those <em>grande dames</em> Carruthers, that Roberta, Marquise of
Grez and Bye, who is the last of their line, walked with the great
gentleman who was and is her lover. Is it that those beautiful dead
Grandmammas each planted her flowers in her own great happiness so
that they would give forth a very tender perfume in which to enfold
the wooings of their daughters then not come into the world? I
think it is so, and I was thus enwrapped in their fragrance as I
was in the arms of that great Gouverneur Faulkner.</p>
<p>“Now I am a truth that I do love you,” I made answer
to a question that was pressed upon my lips.</p>
<p>“His woman is God’s gift of truth to a man,”
were the words that were heard by those listening flowers and
Roberta, Marquise of Grez and Bye, who from a world at war had come
home.</p>
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