<h2><SPAN name="chap58"></SPAN>Chapter V.<br/> The Third Ordeal</h2>
<p>Though Mitya spoke sullenly, it was evident that he was trying more than ever
not to forget or miss a single detail of his story. He told them how he had
leapt over the fence into his father’s garden; how he had gone up to the
window; told them all that had passed under the window. Clearly, precisely,
distinctly, he described the feelings that troubled him during those moments in
the garden when he longed so terribly to know whether Grushenka was with his
father or not. But, strange to say, both the lawyers listened now with a sort
of awful reserve, looked coldly at him, asked few questions. Mitya could gather
nothing from their faces.</p>
<p>“They’re angry and offended,” he thought. “Well, bother
them!”</p>
<p>When he described how he made up his mind at last to make the
“signal” to his father that Grushenka had come, so that he should
open the window, the lawyers paid no attention to the word
“signal,” as though they entirely failed to grasp the meaning of
the word in this connection: so much so, that Mitya noticed it. Coming at last
to the moment when, seeing his father peering out of the window, his hatred
flared up and he pulled the pestle out of his pocket, he suddenly, as though of
design, stopped short. He sat gazing at the wall and was aware that their eyes
were fixed upon him.</p>
<p>“Well?” said the investigating lawyer. “You pulled out the
weapon and ... and what happened then?”</p>
<p>“Then? Why, then I murdered him ... hit him on the head and cracked his
skull.... I suppose that’s your story. That’s it!”</p>
<p>His eyes suddenly flashed. All his smothered wrath suddenly flamed up with
extraordinary violence in his soul.</p>
<p>“Our story?” repeated Nikolay Parfenovitch. “Well—and
yours?”</p>
<p>Mitya dropped his eyes and was a long time silent.</p>
<p>“My story, gentlemen? Well, it was like this,” he began softly.
“Whether it was some one’s tears, or my mother prayed to God, or a
good angel kissed me at that instant, I don’t know. But the devil was
conquered. I rushed from the window and ran to the fence. My father was alarmed
and, for the first time, he saw me then, cried out, and sprang back from the
window. I remember that very well. I ran across the garden to the fence ... and
there Grigory caught me, when I was sitting on the fence.”</p>
<p>At that point he raised his eyes at last and looked at his listeners. They
seemed to be staring at him with perfectly unruffled attention. A sort of
paroxysm of indignation seized on Mitya’s soul.</p>
<p>“Why, you’re laughing at me at this moment, gentlemen!” he
broke off suddenly.</p>
<p>“What makes you think that?” observed Nikolay Parfenovitch.</p>
<p>“You don’t believe one word—that’s why! I understand,
of course, that I have come to the vital point. The old man’s lying there
now with his skull broken, while I—after dramatically describing how I
wanted to kill him, and how I snatched up the pestle—I suddenly run away
from the window. A romance! Poetry! As though one could believe a fellow on his
word. Ha ha! You are scoffers, gentlemen!”</p>
<p>And he swung round on his chair so that it creaked.</p>
<p>“And did you notice,” asked the prosecutor suddenly, as though not
observing Mitya’s excitement, “did you notice when you ran away
from the window, whether the door into the garden was open?”</p>
<p>“No, it was not open.”</p>
<p>“It was not?”</p>
<p>“It was shut. And who could open it? Bah! the door. Wait a bit!” he
seemed suddenly to bethink himself, and almost with a start:</p>
<p>“Why, did you find the door open?”</p>
<p>“Yes, it was open.”</p>
<p>“Why, who could have opened it if you did not open it yourselves?”
cried Mitya, greatly astonished.</p>
<p>“The door stood open, and your father’s murderer undoubtedly went
in at that door, and, having accomplished the crime, went out again by the same
door,” the prosecutor pronounced deliberately, as though chiseling out
each word separately. “That is perfectly clear. The murder was committed
in the room and <i>not through the window</i>; that is absolutely certain from
the examination that has been made, from the position of the body and
everything. There can be no doubt of that circumstance.”</p>
<p>Mitya was absolutely dumbfounded.</p>
<p>“But that’s utterly impossible!” he cried, completely at a
loss. “I ... I didn’t go in.... I tell you positively, definitely,
the door was shut the whole time I was in the garden, and when I ran out of the
garden. I only stood at the window and saw him through the window. That’s
all, that’s all.... I remember to the last minute. And if I didn’t
remember, it would be just the same. I know it, for no one knew the signals
except Smerdyakov, and me, and the dead man. And he wouldn’t have opened
the door to any one in the world without the signals.”</p>
<p>“Signals? What signals?” asked the prosecutor, with greedy, almost
hysterical, curiosity. He instantly lost all trace of his reserve and dignity.
He asked the question with a sort of cringing timidity. He scented an important
fact of which he had known nothing, and was already filled with dread that
Mitya might be unwilling to disclose it.</p>
<p>“So you didn’t know!” Mitya winked at him with a malicious
and mocking smile. “What if I won’t tell you? From whom could you
find out? No one knew about the signals except my father, Smerdyakov, and me:
that was all. Heaven knew, too, but it won’t tell you. But it’s an
interesting fact. There’s no knowing what you might build on it. Ha ha!
Take comfort, gentlemen, I’ll reveal it. You’ve some foolish idea
in your hearts. You don’t know the man you have to deal with! You have to
do with a prisoner who gives evidence against himself, to his own damage! Yes,
for I’m a man of honor and you—are not.”</p>
<p>The prosecutor swallowed this without a murmur. He was trembling with
impatience to hear the new fact. Minutely and diffusely Mitya told them
everything about the signals invented by Fyodor Pavlovitch for Smerdyakov. He
told them exactly what every tap on the window meant, tapped the signals on the
table, and when Nikolay Parfenovitch said that he supposed he, Mitya, had
tapped the signal “Grushenka has come,” when he tapped to his
father, he answered precisely that he had tapped that signal, that
“Grushenka had come.”</p>
<p>“So now you can build up your tower,” Mitya broke off, and again
turned away from them contemptuously.</p>
<p>“So no one knew of the signals but your dead father, you, and the valet
Smerdyakov? And no one else?” Nikolay Parfenovitch inquired once more.</p>
<p>“Yes. The valet Smerdyakov, and Heaven. Write down about Heaven. That may
be of use. Besides, you will need God yourselves.”</p>
<p>And they had already, of course, begun writing it down. But while they wrote,
the prosecutor said suddenly, as though pitching on a new idea:</p>
<p>“But if Smerdyakov also knew of these signals and you absolutely deny all
responsibility for the death of your father, was it not he, perhaps, who
knocked the signal agreed upon, induced your father to open to him, and then
... committed the crime?”</p>
<p>Mitya turned upon him a look of profound irony and intense hatred. His silent
stare lasted so long that it made the prosecutor blink.</p>
<p>“You’ve caught the fox again,” commented Mitya at last;
“you’ve got the beast by the tail. Ha ha! I see through you, Mr.
Prosecutor. You thought, of course, that I should jump at that, catch at your
prompting, and shout with all my might, ‘Aie! it’s Smerdyakov;
he’s the murderer.’ Confess that’s what you thought. Confess,
and I’ll go on.”</p>
<p>But the prosecutor did not confess. He held his tongue and waited.</p>
<p>“You’re mistaken. I’m not going to shout ‘It’s
Smerdyakov,’ ” said Mitya.</p>
<p>“And you don’t even suspect him?”</p>
<p>“Why, do you suspect him?”</p>
<p>“He is suspected, too.”</p>
<p>Mitya fixed his eyes on the floor.</p>
<p>“Joking apart,” he brought out gloomily. “Listen. From the
very beginning, almost from the moment when I ran out to you from behind the
curtain, I’ve had the thought of Smerdyakov in my mind. I’ve been
sitting here, shouting that I’m innocent and thinking all the time
‘Smerdyakov!’ I can’t get Smerdyakov out of my head. In fact,
I, too, thought of Smerdyakov just now; but only for a second. Almost at once I
thought, ‘No, it’s not Smerdyakov.’ It’s not his doing,
gentlemen.”</p>
<p>“In that case is there anybody else you suspect?” Nikolay
Parfenovitch inquired cautiously.</p>
<p>“I don’t know any one it could be, whether it’s the hand of
Heaven or Satan, but ... not Smerdyakov,” Mitya jerked out with decision.</p>
<p>“But what makes you affirm so confidently and emphatically that
it’s not he?”</p>
<p>“From my conviction—my impression. Because Smerdyakov is a man of
the most abject character and a coward. He’s not a coward, he’s the
epitome of all the cowardice in the world walking on two legs. He has the heart
of a chicken. When he talked to me, he was always trembling for fear I should
kill him, though I never raised my hand against him. He fell at my feet and
blubbered; he has kissed these very boots, literally, beseeching me ‘not
to frighten him.’ Do you hear? ‘Not to frighten him.’ What a
thing to say! Why, I offered him money. He’s a puling
chicken—sickly, epileptic, weak‐minded—a child of eight could
thrash him. He has no character worth talking about. It’s not Smerdyakov,
gentlemen. He doesn’t care for money; he wouldn’t take my presents.
Besides, what motive had he for murdering the old man? Why, he’s very
likely his son, you know—his natural son. Do you know that?”</p>
<p>“We have heard that legend. But you are your father’s son, too, you
know; yet you yourself told every one you meant to murder him.”</p>
<p>“That’s a thrust! And a nasty, mean one, too! I’m not afraid!
Oh, gentlemen, isn’t it too base of you to say that to my face?
It’s base, because I told you that myself. I not only wanted to murder
him, but I might have done it. And, what’s more, I went out of my way to
tell you of my own accord that I nearly murdered him. But, you see, I
didn’t murder him; you see, my guardian angel saved me—that’s
what you’ve not taken into account. And that’s why it’s so
base of you. For I didn’t kill him, I didn’t kill him! Do you hear,
I did not kill him.”</p>
<p>He was almost choking. He had not been so moved before during the whole
interrogation.</p>
<p>“And what has he told you, gentlemen—Smerdyakov, I mean?” he
added suddenly, after a pause. “May I ask that question?”</p>
<p>“You may ask any question,” the prosecutor replied with frigid
severity, “any question relating to the facts of the case, and we are, I
repeat, bound to answer every inquiry you make. We found the servant
Smerdyakov, concerning whom you inquire, lying unconscious in his bed, in an
epileptic fit of extreme severity, that had recurred, possibly, ten times. The
doctor who was with us told us, after seeing him, that he may possibly not
outlive the night.”</p>
<p>“Well, if that’s so, the devil must have killed him,” broke
suddenly from Mitya, as though until that moment he had been asking himself:
“Was it Smerdyakov or not?”</p>
<p>“We will come back to this later,” Nikolay Parfenovitch decided.
“Now, wouldn’t you like to continue your statement?”</p>
<p>Mitya asked for a rest. His request was courteously granted. After resting, he
went on with his story. But he was evidently depressed. He was exhausted,
mortified and morally shaken. To make things worse the prosecutor exasperated
him, as though intentionally, by vexatious interruptions about “trifling
points.” Scarcely had Mitya described how, sitting on the wall, he had
struck Grigory on the head with the pestle, while the old man had hold of his
left leg, and how he had then jumped down to look at him, when the prosecutor
stopped him to ask him to describe exactly how he was sitting on the wall.
Mitya was surprised.</p>
<p>“Oh, I was sitting like this, astride, one leg on one side of the wall
and one on the other.”</p>
<p>“And the pestle?”</p>
<p>“The pestle was in my hand.”</p>
<p>“Not in your pocket? Do you remember that precisely? Was it a violent
blow you gave him?”</p>
<p>“It must have been a violent one. But why do you ask?”</p>
<p>“Would you mind sitting on the chair just as you sat on the wall then and
showing us just how you moved your arm, and in what direction?”</p>
<p>“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” asked Mitya,
looking haughtily at the speaker; but the latter did not flinch.</p>
<p>Mitya turned abruptly, sat astride on his chair, and swung his arm.</p>
<p>“This was how I struck him! That’s how I knocked him down! What
more do you want?”</p>
<p>“Thank you. May I trouble you now to explain why you jumped down, with
what object, and what you had in view?”</p>
<p>“Oh, hang it!... I jumped down to look at the man I’d hurt ... I
don’t know what for!”</p>
<p>“Though you were so excited and were running away?”</p>
<p>“Yes, though I was excited and running away.”</p>
<p>“You wanted to help him?”</p>
<p>“Help!... Yes, perhaps I did want to help him.... I don’t
remember.”</p>
<p>“You don’t remember? Then you didn’t quite know what you were
doing?”</p>
<p>“Not at all. I remember everything—every detail. I jumped down to
look at him, and wiped his face with my handkerchief.”</p>
<p>“We have seen your handkerchief. Did you hope to restore him to
consciousness?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know whether I hoped it. I simply wanted to make sure
whether he was alive or not.”</p>
<p>“Ah! You wanted to be sure? Well, what then?”</p>
<p>“I’m not a doctor. I couldn’t decide. I ran away thinking
I’d killed him. And now he’s recovered.”</p>
<p>“Excellent,” commented the prosecutor. “Thank you.
That’s all I wanted. Kindly proceed.”</p>
<p>Alas! it never entered Mitya’s head to tell them, though he remembered
it, that he had jumped back from pity, and standing over the prostrate figure
had even uttered some words of regret: “You’ve come to grief, old
man—there’s no help for it. Well, there you must lie.”</p>
<p>The prosecutor could only draw one conclusion: that the man had jumped back
“at such a moment and in such excitement simply with the object of
ascertaining whether the <i>only</i> witness of his crime were dead; that he
must therefore have been a man of great strength, coolness, decision and
foresight even at such a moment,” ... and so on. The prosecutor was
satisfied: “I’ve provoked the nervous fellow by
‘trifles’ and he has said more than he meant to.”</p>
<p>With painful effort Mitya went on. But this time he was pulled up immediately
by Nikolay Parfenovitch.</p>
<p>“How came you to run to the servant, Fedosya Markovna, with your hands so
covered with blood, and, as it appears, your face, too?”</p>
<p>“Why, I didn’t notice the blood at all at the time,” answered
Mitya.</p>
<p>“That’s quite likely. It does happen sometimes.” The
prosecutor exchanged glances with Nikolay Parfenovitch.</p>
<p>“I simply didn’t notice. You’re quite right there,
prosecutor,” Mitya assented suddenly.</p>
<p>Next came the account of Mitya’s sudden determination to “step
aside” and make way for their happiness. But he could not make up his
mind to open his heart to them as before, and tell them about “the queen
of his soul.” He disliked speaking of her before these chilly persons
“who were fastening on him like bugs.” And so in response to their
reiterated questions he answered briefly and abruptly:</p>
<p>“Well, I made up my mind to kill myself. What had I left to live for?
That question stared me in the face. Her first rightful lover had come back,
the man who wronged her but who’d hurried back to offer his love, after
five years, and atone for the wrong with marriage.... So I knew it was all over
for me.... And behind me disgrace, and that blood—Grigory’s....
What had I to live for? So I went to redeem the pistols I had pledged, to load
them and put a bullet in my brain to‐morrow.”</p>
<p>“And a grand feast the night before?”</p>
<p>“Yes, a grand feast the night before. Damn it all, gentlemen! Do make
haste and finish it. I meant to shoot myself not far from here, beyond the
village, and I’d planned to do it at five o’clock in the morning.
And I had a note in my pocket already. I wrote it at Perhotin’s when I
loaded my pistols. Here’s the letter. Read it! It’s not for you I
tell it,” he added contemptuously. He took it from his waistcoat pocket
and flung it on the table. The lawyers read it with curiosity, and, as is
usual, added it to the papers connected with the case.</p>
<p>“And you didn’t even think of washing your hands at
Perhotin’s? You were not afraid then of arousing suspicion?”</p>
<p>“What suspicion? Suspicion or not, I should have galloped here just the
same, and shot myself at five o’clock, and you wouldn’t have been
in time to do anything. If it hadn’t been for what’s happened to my
father, you would have known nothing about it, and wouldn’t have come
here. Oh, it’s the devil’s doing. It was the devil murdered father,
it was through the devil that you found it out so soon. How did you manage to
get here so quick? It’s marvelous, a dream!”</p>
<p>“Mr. Perhotin informed us that when you came to him, you held in your
hands ... your blood‐stained hands ... your money ... a lot of money ... a
bundle of hundred‐rouble notes, and that his servant‐boy saw it too.”</p>
<p>“That’s true, gentlemen. I remember it was so.”</p>
<p>“Now, there’s one little point presents itself. Can you inform
us,” Nikolay Parfenovitch began, with extreme gentleness, “where
did you get so much money all of a sudden, when it appears from the facts, from
the reckoning of time, that you had not been home?”</p>
<p>The prosecutor’s brows contracted at the question being asked so plainly,
but he did not interrupt Nikolay Parfenovitch.</p>
<p>“No, I didn’t go home,” answered Mitya, apparently perfectly
composed, but looking at the floor.</p>
<p>“Allow me then to repeat my question,” Nikolay Parfenovitch went on
as though creeping up to the subject. “Where were you able to procure
such a sum all at once, when by your own confession, at five o’clock the
same day you—”</p>
<p>“I was in want of ten roubles and pledged my pistols with Perhotin, and
then went to Madame Hohlakov to borrow three thousand which she wouldn’t
give me, and so on, and all the rest of it,” Mitya interrupted sharply.
“Yes, gentlemen, I was in want of it, and suddenly thousands turned up,
eh? Do you know, gentlemen, you’re both afraid now ‘what if he
won’t tell us where he got it?’ That’s just how it is.
I’m not going to tell you, gentlemen. You’ve guessed right.
You’ll never know,” said Mitya, chipping out each word with
extraordinary determination. The lawyers were silent for a moment.</p>
<p>“You must understand, Mr. Karamazov, that it is of vital importance for
us to know,” said Nikolay Parfenovitch, softly and suavely.</p>
<p>“I understand; but still I won’t tell you.”</p>
<p>The prosecutor, too, intervened, and again reminded the prisoner that he was at
liberty to refuse to answer questions, if he thought it to his interest, and so
on. But in view of the damage he might do himself by his silence, especially in
a case of such importance as—</p>
<p>“And so on, gentlemen, and so on. Enough! I’ve heard that rigmarole
before,” Mitya interrupted again. “I can see for myself how
important it is, and that this is the vital point, and still I won’t
say.”</p>
<p>“What is it to us? It’s not our business, but yours. You are doing
yourself harm,” observed Nikolay Parfenovitch nervously.</p>
<p>“You see, gentlemen, joking apart”—Mitya lifted his eyes and
looked firmly at them both—“I had an inkling from the first that we
should come to loggerheads at this point. But at first when I began to give my
evidence, it was all still far away and misty; it was all floating, and I was
so simple that I began with the supposition of mutual confidence existing
between us. Now I can see for myself that such confidence is out of the
question, for in any case we were bound to come to this cursed stumbling‐
block. And now we’ve come to it! It’s impossible and there’s
an end of it! But I don’t blame you. You can’t believe it all
simply on my word. I understand that, of course.”</p>
<p>He relapsed into gloomy silence.</p>
<p>“Couldn’t you, without abandoning your resolution to be silent
about the chief point, could you not, at the same time, give us some slight
hint as to the nature of the motives which are strong enough to induce you to
refuse to answer, at a crisis so full of danger to you?”</p>
<p>Mitya smiled mournfully, almost dreamily.</p>
<p>“I’m much more good‐natured than you think, gentlemen. I’ll
tell you the reason why and give you that hint, though you don’t deserve
it. I won’t speak of that, gentlemen, because it would be a stain on my
honor. The answer to the question where I got the money would expose me to far
greater disgrace than the murder and robbing of my father, if I had murdered
and robbed him. That’s why I can’t tell you. I can’t for fear
of disgrace. What, gentlemen, are you going to write that down?”</p>
<p>“Yes, we’ll write it down,” lisped Nikolay Parfenovitch.</p>
<p>“You ought not to write that down about ‘disgrace.’ I only
told you that in the goodness of my heart. I needn’t have told you. I
made you a present of it, so to speak, and you pounce upon it at once. Oh,
well, write—write what you like,” he concluded, with scornful
disgust. “I’m not afraid of you and I can still hold up my head
before you.”</p>
<p>“And can’t you tell us the nature of that disgrace?” Nikolay
Parfenovitch hazarded.</p>
<p>The prosecutor frowned darkly.</p>
<p>“No, no, <i>c’est fini</i>, don’t trouble yourselves.
It’s not worth while soiling one’s hands. I have soiled myself
enough through you as it is. You’re not worth it—no one is ...
Enough, gentlemen. I’m not going on.”</p>
<p>This was said too peremptorily. Nikolay Parfenovitch did not insist further,
but from Ippolit Kirillovitch’s eyes he saw that he had not given up
hope.</p>
<p>“Can you not, at least, tell us what sum you had in your hands when you
went into Mr. Perhotin’s—how many roubles exactly?”</p>
<p>“I can’t tell you that.”</p>
<p>“You spoke to Mr. Perhotin, I believe, of having received three thousand
from Madame Hohlakov.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps I did. Enough, gentlemen. I won’t say how much I
had.”</p>
<p>“Will you be so good then as to tell us how you came here and what you
have done since you arrived?”</p>
<p>“Oh! you might ask the people here about that. But I’ll tell you if
you like.”</p>
<p>He proceeded to do so, but we won’t repeat his story. He told it dryly
and curtly. Of the raptures of his love he said nothing, but told them that he
abandoned his determination to shoot himself, owing to “new factors in
the case.” He told the story without going into motives or details. And
this time the lawyers did not worry him much. It was obvious that there was no
essential point of interest to them here.</p>
<p>“We shall verify all that. We will come back to it during the examination
of the witnesses, which will, of course, take place in your presence,”
said Nikolay Parfenovitch in conclusion. “And now allow me to request you
to lay on the table everything in your possession, especially all the money you
still have about you.”</p>
<p>“My money, gentlemen? Certainly. I understand that that is necessary.
I’m surprised, indeed, that you haven’t inquired about it before.
It’s true I couldn’t get away anywhere. I’m sitting here
where I can be seen. But here’s my money—count it—take it.
That’s all, I think.”</p>
<p>He turned it all out of his pockets; even the small change—two pieces of
twenty copecks—he pulled out of his waistcoat pocket. They counted the
money, which amounted to eight hundred and thirty‐six roubles, and forty
copecks.</p>
<p>“And is that all?” asked the investigating lawyer.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“You stated just now in your evidence that you spent three hundred
roubles at Plotnikovs’. You gave Perhotin ten, your driver twenty, here
you lost two hundred, then....”</p>
<p>Nikolay Parfenovitch reckoned it all up. Mitya helped him readily. They
recollected every farthing and included it in the reckoning. Nikolay
Parfenovitch hurriedly added up the total.</p>
<p>“With this eight hundred you must have had about fifteen hundred at
first?”</p>
<p>“I suppose so,” snapped Mitya.</p>
<p>“How is it they all assert there was much more?”</p>
<p>“Let them assert it.”</p>
<p>“But you asserted it yourself.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I did, too.”</p>
<p>“We will compare all this with the evidence of other persons not yet
examined. Don’t be anxious about your money. It will be properly taken
care of and be at your disposal at the conclusion of ... what is beginning ...
if it appears, or, so to speak, is proved that you have undisputed right to it.
Well, and now....”</p>
<p>Nikolay Parfenovitch suddenly got up, and informed Mitya firmly that it was his
duty and obligation to conduct a minute and thorough search “of your
clothes and everything else....”</p>
<p>“By all means, gentlemen. I’ll turn out all my pockets, if you
like.”</p>
<p>And he did, in fact, begin turning out his pockets.</p>
<p>“It will be necessary to take off your clothes, too.”</p>
<p>“What! Undress? Ugh! Damn it! Won’t you search me as I am!
Can’t you?”</p>
<p>“It’s utterly impossible, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. You must take off
your clothes.”</p>
<p>“As you like,” Mitya submitted gloomily; “only, please, not
here, but behind the curtains. Who will search them?”</p>
<p>“Behind the curtains, of course.”</p>
<p>Nikolay Parfenovitch bent his head in assent. His small face wore an expression
of peculiar solemnity.</p>
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