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<h2>XIX</h2> All day the shells had been flying thick and fast. When night settled down the fire was so continuous that one could trace the battle front by the reflection in the sky. Cameron stood at his post under the stars and cried out in his soul for God. For days now Death had stalked them very close. His comrades had fallen all about him. There seemed to be no chance for safety. And where was God? Had He no part in all this Hell on earth? Did He not care? Would He not be found? All his seeking and praying and reading of the little book seemed to have brought God no nearer. He was going out pretty soon, in the natural order of the battle if things kept on, out into the other life, without having found the God who had promised that if he would believe, and if he would seek with all his heart he would surely find Him. Once in a Y.M.C.A. hut on a Sunday night a great tenor came to entertain them, and sang almost 296 the very words that the stranger back in the States had written in his little book: <div class='blockquot'> “If with, all your hearts ye truly seek Him ye shall ever surely find him. Thus saith your God!” </div> And ever since that song had rung its wonderful melody down deep in his heart he had been seeking, seeking in all the ways he knew, with a longing that would not be satisfied. And yet he seemed to have found nothing. So now as he walked silently beneath the stars, looking up, his soul was crying out with the longing of despair to find a Saviour, the Christ of his soul. Amid all the shudderings of the battle-rent earth, the concussions of the bursting shells, could even God hear a soul’s low cry? Suddenly out in the darkness in front of him there flickered a tiny light, only a speck of a glint it was, the spark of a cigarette, but it was where it had no business to be, and it was Cameron’s business to see that it was not there. They had been given strict orders that there must be no lights and no sounds to give away their position. Even though his thoughts were with the stars in his search for 297 God, his senses were keen and on the alert. He sprang instantly and silently, appearing before the delinquent like a miracle. “Halt!” he said under his breath. “Can that cigarette!” “I guess you don’t know who I am!” swaggered a voice thick and unnatural that yet had a familiar sound. “It makes no difference who you are, you can’t smoke on this post while I’m on duty. Those are my orders!” and with a quick motion he caught the cigarette from the loose lips and extinguished it, grinding it into the ground with his heel. “I’ll—have you—c-c-co-marshalled fer this!” stuttered the angry officer, stepping back unsteadily and raising his fist. In disgust Cameron turned his back and walked away. How had Wainwright managed to bring liquor with him to the front? Something powerful and condensed, no doubt, to steady his nerves in battle. Wainwright had ever been noted for his cowardice. His breath was heavy with it. How could a man want to meet death in such a way? He turned to look again, and Wainwright was walking 298 unsteadily away across the line where they had been forbidden to go, out into the open where the shells were flying. Cameron watched him for an instant with mingled feelings. To think he called himself a man, and dared to boast of marrying such a woman as Ruth Macdonald. Well, what if he did go into danger and get killed! The world was better off without him! Cameron’s heart was burning hot within him. His enemy was at last within his power. No one but himself had seen Wainwright move off in that direction where was certain death within a few minutes. It was no part of his duty to stop him. He was not supposed to know he had been drinking. The whistle of a shell went ricocheting through the air and Cameron dropped as he had been taught to do, but lifted his eyes in time to see Wainwright throw up his arms, drop on the edge of the hill, and disappear. The shell plowed its way in a furrow a few feet away and Cameron rose to his feet. Sharply, distinctly, in a brief lull of the din about him he heard his name called. It sounded from down the hill, a cry of distress, but it did not sound like Wainwright’s voice: “Cameron! Come! Help!” 299 He obeyed instantly, although, strange to say, he had no thought of its being Wainwright. He crept cautiously out to the edge of the hill and looked over. The blare of the heavens made objects below quite visible. He could see Wainwright huddled as he had fallen. While he looked the injured man lifted his head, struggled to crawl feebly, but fell back again. He felt a sense of relief that at last his enemy was where he could do no more harm. Then, through the dim darkness he saw a figure coming toward the prostrate form, and stooping over to touch him. It showed white against the darkness and it paid no heed to the shell that suddenly whistled overhead. It half lifted the head of the fallen officer, and then straightened up and looked toward Cameron; and again, although there was no sound audible now in the din that the battle was making, he felt himself called. A strange thrill of awe possessed him. Was that the Christ out there whom he had been seeking? And what did he expect of him? To come out there to his enemy? To the man who had been in many ways the curse of his young life? Suddenly as he still hesitated a verse from his 300 Testament which had often come to his notice returned clearly to his mind: “If thou bringest thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar. First be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Was this, then, what was required of him? Had his hate toward Wainwright been what had hindered him from finding God? There was no time now to argue that this man was not his brother. The man would be killed certainly if he lay there many minutes. The opportunity would pass as quickly as it had come. The Christ he sought was out there expecting him to come, and he must lose no time in going to Him. How gladly would he have faced death to go to Him! But Wainwright! That was different! Could it be this that was required of him? Then back in his soul there echoed the words: “If with all your heart ye truly seek.” Slowly he crept forward over the brow of the hill, and into the light, going toward that white figure above the huddled dark one; creeping painfully, with bullets ripping 301 up the earth about him. He was going to the Christ, with all his heart—yes, all his heart! Even if it meant putting by his enmity forever! Somewhere on the way he understood. When he reached the fallen man there was no white figure there, but he was not surprised nor disappointed. The Christ was not there because he had entered into his heart. He had found Him at last! <hr class='tb' /> Back at the base hospital they told Wainwright one day how Cameron had crawled with him on his back, out from under the searchlights amid the shells, and into safety. It was the only thing that saved his life, for if he had lain long with the wound he had got, there would have been no chance for him. Wainwright, when he heard it, lay thoughtful for a long time, a puzzled, half-sullen look on his face. He saw that everybody considered Cameron a hero. There was no getting away from that the rest of his life. One could not in decency be an enemy of a man who had saved one’s life. Cameron had won out in a final round. It would not be good policy not to recognize it. It would be entirely too 302 unpopular. He must make friends with him. It would be better to patronize him than to be patronized by him. Perhaps also, down in the depths of his fat selfish heart there was a little bit of gratitude mixed with it all. For he did love life, and he was a mortal coward. So he sent for Cameron one day, and Cameron came. He did not want to come. He dreaded the interview worse than anything he had ever had to face before. But he came. He came with the same spirit he had gone out into the shell-fire after Wainwright. Because he felt that the Christ asked it of him. He stood stern and grave at the foot of the little hospital cot and listened while Wainwright pompously thanked him, and told him graciously that now that he had saved his life he was going to put aside all the old quarrels and be his friend. Cameron smiled sadly. There was no bitterness in his smile. Perhaps just the least fringe of amusement, but no hardness. He even took the bandaged hand that was offered as a token that peace had come between them who had so long been at war. All the time were ringing in his heart the words: “With 303 all your heart! With all your heart!” He had the Christ, what else mattered? Somehow Wainwright felt that he had not quite made the impression on this strong man that he had hoped, and in an impulse to be more than gracious he reached his good hand under his pillow and brought forth an envelope. When Corporal Cameron saw the writing on that envelop he went white under the tan of the battlefield, but he stood still and showed no other sign: “When I get back home I’m going to be married,” said the complacent voice, “and my wife and I will want you to come and take dinner with us some day. I guess you know who the girl is. She lives in Bryne Haven up on the hill. Her name is Ruth Macdonald. I’ve just had a letter from her. I’ll have to write her how you saved my life. She’ll want to thank you, too.” How could Cameron possibly know that that envelope addressed in Ruth Macdonald’s precious handwriting contained nothing but the briefest word of thanks for an elaborate souvenir that Wainwright had sent her from France? 304 “What’s the matter with Cammie?” his comrades asked one another when he came back to his company. “He looks as though he had lost his last friend. Did he care so much for that Wainwright guy that he saved? I’m sure I don’t see what he sees in him. I wouldn’t have taken the trouble to go out after him, would you?” Cameron’s influence had been felt quietly among his company. In his presence the men refrained from certain styles of conversation, when he sat apart and read his Testament they hushed their boisterous talk, and lately some had come to read with him. He was generally conceded to be the bravest man in their company, and when a fellow had to die suddenly he liked Cameron to hold him in his arms. So far Cameron had not had a scratch, and the men had come to think he had a charmed life. More than he knew he was beloved of them all. More than they knew their respect for him was deepening into a kind of awe. They felt he had a power with him that they understood not. He was still the silent corporal. He talked not at all of his new-found experience, yet it shone in his face in a mysterious 305 light. Even after he came from Wainwright with that stricken look, there was above it all a glory behind his eyes that not even that could change. For three days he went into the thick of the battle, moving from one hairbreadth escape to another with the calmness of an angel who knows his life is not of earth, and on the fourth day there came the awful battle, the struggle for a position that had been held by the enemy for four years, and that had been declared impregnable from the side of the Allies. The boys all fought bravely and many fell, but foremost of them all passing unscathed from height to height, Corporal Cameron on the lead in fearlessness and spirit; and when the tide at last was turned and they stood triumphant among the dead, and saw the enemy retiring in disorder, it was Cameron who was still in the forefront, his white face and tattered uniform catching the last rays of the setting sun. Later when the survivors had all come together one came to the captain with a white face and anxious eyes: “Captain, where’s Cammie? We can’t find him anywhere.” 306 “He came a half hour ago and volunteered to slip through the enemy’s lines to-night and send us back a message,” he said in husky tones. “But, captain, he was wounded!” “He was?” The captain looked up startled. “He said nothing about it!” “He wouldn’t, of course,” said the soldier. “He’s that way. But he was wounded in the arm. I helped him bind it up.” “How bad?” “I don’t know. He wouldn’t let me look. He said he would attend to it when he got back.” “Well, he’s taken a wireless in his pocket and crept across No Man’s Land to find out what the enemy is going to do. He’s wearing a dead Jerry’s uniform——!” The captain turned and brushed the back of his hand across his eyes and a low sound between a sob and a whispered cheer went up from the gathered remnant as they rendered homage to their comrade. <hr class='tb' /> For three days the messages came floating in, telling vital secrets that were of vast strategic value. Then the messages ceased, and the anxious officers 307 and comrades looked in vain for word. Two more days passed—three—and still no sign that showed that he was alive, and the word went forth “Missing!” and “Missing” he was proclaimed in the newspapers at home. That night there was a lull in the sector where Cameron’s company was located. No one could guess what was going on across the wide dark space called No Man’s Land. The captain sent anxious messages to other officers, and the men at the listening posts had no clue to give. It was raining and a chill bias sleet that cut like knives was driving from the northeast. Water trickled into the dugouts, and sopped through the trenches, and the men shuddered their way along dark passages and waited. Only scattered artillery fire lit up the heavens here and there. It was a night when all hell seemed let loose to have its way with earth. The watch paced back and forth and prayed or cursed, and counted the minutes till his watch would be up. Across the blackness of No Man’s Land pock-marked with great shell craters, there raged a tempest, and even a Hun would turn his back and look the other way in such a storm. 308 Slowly, oh so slow that not even the earth would know it was moving, there crept a dark creature forth from the enemy line. A thing all of spirit could not have gone more invisibly. Lying like a stone as motionless for spaces uncountable, stirring every muscle with a controlled movement that could stop at any breath, lying under the very nose of the guard without being seen for long minutes, and gone when next he passed that way; slowly, painfully gaining ground, with a track of blood where the stones were cruel, and a holding of breath when the fitful flare lights lit up the way; covered at times by mud from nearby bursting shells; faint and sick, but continuing to creep; chilled and sore and stiff, blinded and bleeding and torn, shell holes and stones and miring mud, slippery and sharp and never ending, the long, long trail——! “Halt!” came a sharp, clear voice through the night. “Pat! Come here! What is that?” whispered the guard. “Now watch! I’m sure I saw it move——There! I’m going to it!” “Better look out!” But he was off and back 309 with something in his arms. Something in a ragged blood-soaked German uniform. They turned a shaded flash light into the face and looked: “Pat, it’s Cammie!” The guard was sobbing. At sound of the dear old name the inert mass roused to action. “Tell Cap—they’re planning to slip away at five in the morning. Tell him if he wants to catch them he must do it now! Don’t mind me! Go quick!” The voice died away and the head dropped back. With a last wistful look Pat was off to the captain, but the guard gathered Cameron up in his arms tenderly and nursed him like a baby, crooning over him in the sleet and dark, till Pat came back with a stretcher and some men who bore him to the dressing station lying inert between them. While men worked over his silent form his message was flashing to headquarters and back over the lines to all the posts along that front. The time had come for the big drive. In a short time a great company of dark forms stole forth across No Man’s 310 Land till they seemed like a wide dark sea creeping on to engulf the enemy. Next morning the newspapers of the world set forth in monstrous type the glorious victory and how the Americans had stolen upon the enemy and cut them off from the rest of their army, wiping out a whole salient. But while the world was rejoicing, John Cameron lay on his little hard stretcher in the tent and barely breathed. He had not opened his eyes nor spoken again. <hr class='major' /> 311 <h2>XX</h2> A nurse stepped up to the doctor’s desk: “A new girl is here ready for duty. Is there any special place you want her put?” she asked in a low tone. The doctor looked up with a frown: “One of those half-trained Americans, I suppose?” he growled. “Well, every little helps. I’d give a good deal for half a dozen fully trained nurses just now. Suppose you send her to relieve Miss Jennings. She can’t do any harm to number twenty-nine.” “Isn’t there any hope for him?” the nurse asked, a shade of sadness in her eyes. “I’m afraid not!” said the doctor shortly. “He won’t take any interest in living, that’s the trouble. He isn’t dying of his wounds. Something is troubling him. But it’s no use trying to find out what. He shuts up like a clam.” The new nurse flushed outside the door as she heard herself discussed and shut her firm little lips in a determined way as she followed the head nurse 312 down the long rows of cots to an alcove at the end where a screen shut the patient from view. Miss Jennings, a plain girl with tired eyes, gave a few directions and she was left with her patient. She turned toward the cot and stopped with a soft gasp of recognition, her face growing white and set as she took in the dear familiar outline of the fine young face before her. Every word she had heard outside the doctor’s office rang distinctly in her ears. He was dying. He did not want to live. With another gasp that was like a sob she slipped to her knees beside the cot, forgetful of her duties, of the ward outside, or the possible return of the nurses, forgetful of everything but that he was there, her hero of the years! She reached for one of his hands, the one that was not bandaged, and she laid her soft cheek against it, and held her breath to listen. Perhaps even now behind that quiet face the spirit had departed beyond her grasp. There was no flutter of the eyelids even. She could not see that he still breathed, although his hand was not cold, and his face when she touched it still seemed human. She drew closer in an agony 313 of fear, and laid her lips against his cheek, and then her face softly, with one hand about his other cheek. Her lips were close to his ear now. “John!” she whispered softly, “John! My dear knight!” There was a quiver of the eyelids now, a faint hesitating sigh. She touched her lips to his and spoke his name again. A faint smile flickered over his features as if he were seeing other worlds of beauty that had no connection here. But still she continued to press her face against his cheek and whisper his name. At last he opened his eyes, with a bewildered, wondering gaze and saw her. The old dear smile broke forth: “Ruth! You here? Is this—heaven?” “Not yet,” she whispered softly. “But it’s earth, and the war is over! I’ve come to help you get well and take you home! It’s really you and you’re not ‘Missing’ any more.” Then without any excuse at all she laid her lips on his forehead and kissed him. She had read her permit in his eyes. 314 His well arm stole out and pressed her to him hungrily: “It’s—really you and you don’t belong to anybody else?” he asked, anxiously searching her face for his answer. “Oh, John! I never did belong to anybody else but you. All my life ever since I was a little girl I’ve thought you were wonderful! Didn’t you know that? Didn’t you see down at camp? I’m sure it was written all over my face.” His hand crept up and pressed her face close against his: “Oh, my darling!” he breathed, “my darling! The most wonderful girl in the world!” When the doctor and nurse pushed back the screen and entered the little alcove the new nurse sat demurely at the foot of the cot, but a little while later the voice of the patient rang out joyously: “Doctor, how soon can I get out of this. I think I’ve stayed here about long enough.” The wondering doctor touched his patient’s forehead, looked at him keenly, felt his pulse with practised finger, and replied: “I’ve been thinking you’d get to this spot pretty 315 soon. Some beef tea, nurse, and make it good and strong. We’ve got to get this fellow on his feet pretty quick for I can see he’s about done lying in bed.” Then the wounds came in for attention, and Ruth stood bravely and watched, quivering in her heart over the sight, yet never flinching in her outward calm. When the dressing of the wounds was over the doctor stood back and surveyed his patient: “Well, you’re in pretty good shape now, and if you keep on you can leave here in about a week. Thank fortune there isn’t any more front to go back to! But now, if you don’t mind I’d like to know what’s made this marvellous change in you?” The light broke out on Cameron’s face anew. He looked at the doctor smiling, and then he looked at Ruth, and reached out his hand to get hers: “You see,” he said, “I—we—Miss Macdonald’s from my home town and——” “I see,” said the doctor looking quizzically from one happy face to the other, “but hasn’t she always been from your home town?” Cameron twinkled with his old Irish grin: 316 “Always,” he said solemnly, “but, you see, she hasn’t always been here.” “I see,” said the doctor again looking quizzically into the sweet face of the girl, and doing reverence to her pure beauty with his gaze. “I congratulate you, corporal,” he said, and then turning to Ruth he said earnestly: “And you, too, Madame. He is a man if there ever was one.” In the quiet evening when the wards were put to sleep and Ruth sat beside his cot with her hand softly in his, Cameron opened his eyes from the nap he was supposed to be taking and looked at her with his bright smile. “I haven’t told you the news,” he said softly. “I have found God. I found Him out on the battlefield and He is great! It’s all true! But you have to search for Him with all your heart, and not let any little old hate or anything else hinder you, or it doesn’t do any good.” Ruth, with her eyes shining, touched her lips softly to the back of his bandaged hand that lay near her and whispered softly: “I have found Him, too, dear. And I realize that He has been close beside me all the time, only 317 my heart was so full of myself that I never saw Him before. But, oh, hasn’t He been wonderful to us, and won’t we have a beautiful time living for Him together the rest of our lives?” Then the bandaged hand went out and folded her close, and Cameron uttered his assent in words too sacred for other ears to hear.     <hr class="full" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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