<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1>THE THIRTEEN <br/> TRAVELLERS</h1>
<hr class="tb" />
<p class="center p180"> HUGH WALPOLE</p>
<p class="center p120">TO</p>
<p class="center p180">JOSEPH HERGESHEIMER</p>
<p class="center p120">IN FRIENDSHIP</p>
<p class="center">"After they were blown up they were blown <br/>
down again, and then had to pause for a<br/>
moment to get their breath...."—<i>Hanspickle.</i></p>
<div class="relative"><p><span class="smcap">Henry Galleon</span></p>
</div>
<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
<table style="width: 80%">
<tr>
<th></th>
<th></th>
<th>Page</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#I">I</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Absalom Jay</span></td>
<td>13</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#II">II</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Fanny Close</span></td>
<td>34</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#III">III</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">The Hon. Clive Torby</span></td>
<td>51</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#IV">IV</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Miss Morganhurst</span></td>
<td>69</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#V">V</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Peter Westcott</span></td>
<td>86</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#VI">VI</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Lucy Moon</span></td>
<td>107</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#VII">VII</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Mrs. Porter and Miss Allen</span></td>
<td>132</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#VIII">VIII</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Lois Drake</span></td>
<td>151</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#IX">IX</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Mr. Nix</span></td>
<td>175</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#X">X</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Lizzie Rand</span></td>
<td>200</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#XI">XI</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Nobody</span></td>
<td>221</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#XII">XII</SPAN></td>
<td><span class="smcap">Bombastes Furioso</span></td>
<td>252</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p class="center p150">THE THIRTEEN TRAVELLERS</p>
<p class="center p120">AUTHOR'S NOTE</p>
<p class="center"><i>No character in this book is drawn from any
person now living.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</SPAN></span></p>
<p class="center p180">THE THIRTEEN TRAVELLERS</p>
<h2><SPAN name="I" id="I">I</SPAN><br/> ABSALOM JAY</h2>
<p>Somewhere in the early nineties was Absalom
Jay's first period. He was so well known a figure
in London at that time as to be frequently caricatured
in the weekly society journals, and Spy's "Absalom,"
that appeared in the 1894 volume of <i>Vanity Fair</i>, is
one of his most successful efforts. In those days were
anyone so ignorant as to be compelled to ask who Jay
was he would probably receive the answer: "Oh, don't
you know? He's a cousin of John Beaminster's. He
founded the "Warrington" with Pemmy Stevens. He's....
Oh, I don't know.... He goes everywhere.
Knows more people than anyone else in London, I
should imagine."</p>
<p>Spy's caricature of him has caught that elegant
smartness that was Absalom's most marked individuality,
<i>too</i> smart critics have been known to say; and
certainly, if the ideal of correct dress is that no one
should notice your clothes Absalom was not correct.
Everyone always noticed his clothes. But here again<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</SPAN></span>
one must be fair. It may not have been altogether his
clothes that one noticed. From very early years his
hair was snow-white, and he wore it brushed straight
back from his pink forehead in wavy locks. He wore
also a little white tufted Imperial. He had an eyeglass
that hung on a thick black cord. His favourite colour
was a dark blue, and with this he wore spats (in summer
of a truly terrific whiteness), a white slip, black tie,
and pearl pin. He wore wonderful boots and shoes and
was said to have more of these than any other man in
London. It was also said that his feet were the smallest
(masculine) in the British Isles. He was made altogether
on a very small scale. He was not, I should think, more
than five-feet-six in height, but was all in perfect proportion.
His enemies, of whom he had, like everyone
else, a few, said that his wonderful pink complexion
was not entirely Nature's work, but here his enemies
lied. Even at the very last he did not give way to the
use of cosmetics. He was the kindest-hearted little
man in the world, and in the days of his prosperity was
as happy as the day was long. He lived entirely for
Society, and because this is intended to be a true portrait,
I must admit that there was something of the
snob in his character. He himself admitted it frankly.
"I like to be with people of rank," he would say, "simply
because I'm more comfortable with them. I know just
what to say to Johnny Beaminster, and I'm tongue-tied
with the wife of my barber. <i>Que voulez-vous?</i>"</p>
<p>I'm afraid, however, that it went a little further than
that. In the Season his looking-glass was thronged
with cards, invitations to dinner and dances and musical<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</SPAN></span>
evenings. "I live for Society," he said, "as some men
live for killing pheasants, and other men for piling up
money. My fun is as good as another man's. At any
rate I get good company."</p>
<p>It was his intention to be seen at every London
function, public or private, that could be considered a
first-class function; people wondered how he got about
as he did. It seemed as though there must be three or
four Absaloms.</p>
<p>His best time was during the last few years of King
Edward VII.'s reign. His funny little anxious face
could be frequently seen in those groups of celebrities
invited to meet the King at some famous house-party.
It was said that the King liked his company, but I
don't know how that can have been because Absalom was
never in his brightest days very amusing. He talked
a good deal, but always said just what everyone else
said. He was asked everywhere because he was so safe,
because he was so willing to fetch and carry, and
because he knew exactly what it was that ladies wanted.
He entertained only a little in return, but nobody
minded that because, as everyone knew, "he really
hadn't a penny in the world"—which meant that he
had about £1,500 a year in various safe investments.</p>
<p>A year before the war he was seized with a little
gust of speculation. Against the advice of "Tony"
Pennant, who looked after his investments for him,
he ventured to buy here and sell there with rather
serious results. He pulled up just in time to save
disaster, but he had to give up his little house in
Knightsbridge and took a flat at Hortons in Duke<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</SPAN></span>
Street. Although this was a "service" flat he still
retained his man James, who had been with him for a
number of years and knew his habits to perfection.</p>
<p>He made his rooms at Hortons charming, and he
had the dark blue curtains and the gold mirror bristling
with invitations, and the old coloured prints and the
big, signed photographs of Queen Alexandra and the
Duchess of Wrexe in their silver frames, and the heavy
silver cigarette-box that King Edward had given him,
all in their accustomed places. Of course, the flat was
small. His silver-topped bottles and silver-backed
brushes, and rows of boots and shoes and the two big
trouser-presses simply overwhelmed his bedroom.</p>
<p>But he was over sixty-five now (although he would
have been horrified if he thought that you knew it)
and he didn't need much space—moreover, he was
always out.</p>
<p>Then came the war, and the first result of this was
that James joined up! During those first August days
Absalom hadn't fancied that the war would touch him
at all, although he was hotly patriotic and cried out
daily at the "Warrington" that he wished he were a
lad again and could shoulder a gun.</p>
<p>James's departure frightened him; then "Tony"
Pennant explained to him that his investments were
not so secure as they had been and he'd be lucky if any
of them brought him in anything. And of course the
whole of his social world vanished—no more parties, no
more balls, no more Ascots and Goodwoods, no more
shooting in Scotland, no more opera. He bustled
around then in a truly remarkable manner and attacked<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</SPAN></span>
his friends with the pertinacity of a bluebottle. The
war was not a month old before Bryce-Drummond
secured him a job in one of the Ministries at six hundred
a year. It was not a very difficult job (it consisted
for the most part in interviewing eager young
men, assuring them that he would do his best for them,
and then sending them along to somebody else). He
had a room to himself, and a lady typist who looked
after him like a mother. He was quite delighted when
he discovered that she was a daughter of the Bishop
of Polchester and very well connected. She was most
efficient and did everything for him.</p>
<p>He took his work very seriously indeed, and was
delighted to be "doing his bit." No one knew exactly
what it was that he did at the Ministry, and he himself
was very vague about it, but he hinted at great things
and magnificent company. During those first years
when there were so many wonderful rumours, he
hinted and hinted and hinted. "Well, I mustn't mention
names, of course; but you can take it from me——"
and people really did think he <i>did</i> know. He had been
in the closest touch with so many great people before
the war that it was only natural that he should be in
touch with them still. As a matter of fact he knew
nothing except what his typist told him. He led an
extremely quiet life during these years, but he didn't
mind that because he understood that it was the right
thing to do. All the best people were absorbed in their
work—even old Lady Agatha Beaminster was running
a home for Serbians, and Rachel Seddon was a V.A.D.
in France, and old "Plumtree" Caudle was a Special<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</SPAN></span>
Constable. He did not therefore feel left out of things,
because there was nothing really to be left out of.
Moreover, he was so hard up that it was safer to be
quiet. All the more would he enjoy himself when the
war was over.</p>
<p>But as the years went on and there seemed to be no
sign of the war being over, he began to be querulous.
He missed James terribly, and when in the summer of
1917 he heard that James was killed in Mesopotamia it
was a very serious blow. He seemed to be suddenly
quite alone in the world. In Hortons now they
employed only women, and the girl straight from
Glebeshire who "valeted" him seemed to have but little
time to listen to his special needs, being divided up
between four flats and finding it all she could do, poor
girl, to satisfy them all. "After the war," Mr. Nix,
the manager of Hortons, assured Absalom, "we shall
have men again!"</p>
<p>"After the war!"—those three simple little words
became the very Abracadabra of Absalom's life. "After
the war" everything would be as it had always been—prices
would go down, Society would come up, his gold
mirror would once again be stuck about with invitations,
he would find a successor to James, and a little house.
What would he live on? Oh, that would be all right.
They would keep him at the Ministry. He was so
useful there that he couldn't conceive that they would
ever get on without him—there would be his work, of
course, and probably they would raise his salary. He
was an optimist about the future. Nothing made him
so indignant as unjustified pessimism. When someone<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</SPAN></span>
talked pessimistically it was as though he, Absalom Jay,
were being personally threatened. Throughout the terrible
spring of 1918 he remained optimistic. "Britain
<i>couldn't</i> be beaten"—by which he meant that Absalom
Jay must be assured of his future comforts. In spite
of all that had happened he was as incapable in June,
1918, as he had been in June, 1914, of imagining a
different world, a different balance of moral and ethical
values. Then the tide turned. During that summer
and early autumn of 1918 Absalom was as happy as
he had ever been. He simply lived for the moment
when "life would begin again." He began to go out a
little, to pay calls, to visit an old friend or two. He
found changes, of course. His own contemporaries
seemed strangely old; many of them had died, many
of them had shattered nerves, many were frightened
of the future.</p>
<p>If they were frightened it was their own fault, he
declared. They <i>would</i> talk of ridiculous things like the
Russian Revolution—nothing angered him more than
to hear chatter about the Russian Revolution—as though
that absurd affair with its cut-throats and Bolsheviks
and Jews and murderers could have anything to do with
a <i>real</i> country like England.</p>
<p>It was all the fault of our idiotic government; one
regiment of British soldiers and <i>that</i> trouble would
have been over.... No, he'd no patience....</p>
<p>November 11th came, and with it the Armistice; he
actually rode all the way down Whitehall on a lorry
and waved a flag. He <i>was</i> excited, it seemed as though
the whole world were crying, "Hurray! Absalom Jay!<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</SPAN></span>
You were right, after all. You shall have your
reward."</p>
<p>He pictured to himself what was coming: 1919 would
be the year; let those dirty ruffians try and imitate
Russian methods. They would see what they would
get. He resumed his old haughtiness of demeanour to
dependents. It was necessary in these days to show
them their place. Not that he was never kind. When
they behaved properly he was very kind indeed. To
Fanny, the portress at Hortons—a nice girl with a
ready smile and an agreeable willingness to do <i>anything</i>,
however tiresome—he was delightful, asking her about
her relations and once telling her that he was grateful
for what she did. He was compelled, however, to speak
haughtily to Rose, the "valet." He was forced often
to ring twice for her, and once when she came running
and out of breath and he showed her that she had put
some of his waistcoats into one drawer and some into
another, thereby making it very difficult for him to find
them, she actually tossed her head and muttered something.
He spoke to her very kindly then, and showed
her how things were done in the best houses, because,
after all, poor child, she was straight up from the country.
However, she did not take his kindliness in at all
the right spirit, but burst out angrily that "times was
different now, and one was as good as another"—a
shocking thing to say, and savouring directly of Bolshevism.</p>
<p>He was getting into the habit of calling almost everything
Bolshevism.</p>
<p>Then the first blow fell. He found a letter on his<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</SPAN></span>
table at the Ministry; he opened it carelessly and read
therein that as the war was in process of being "wound
up," changes were taking place that would compel the
Ministry, most reluctantly, to do without Mr. Jay's
services. Would he mind taking a month's notice?...</p>
<p>He would mind very much indeed—Mind? It was
as though a thunderbolt had struck him on the very top
of his neat little head. He stood in front of the
Ministerial fireplace, his little legs extended, the letter
trembling in his hand, his eyes, if the truth must be
spoken, flushed with tears. Dismissed! With a month's
notice! He would speak ... he would protest ... he
would abuse.... In the end, of course, he did nothing.
Bryce-Drummond said he was so very sorry, "but really
everythin' was tumblin' about one's ear's these days,"
and offered him a cigarette. Lord John, to whom he
appealed, looked distressed and said it was "a damn
shame; upon his word, he didn't know what we were
all coming to...."</p>
<p>Absalom Jay was left; he realised that he could do
nothing; he retired into Hortons.</p>
<p>There was in his soul a fund of optimism, or rather,
to speak more accurately, it took him time to realise
the shifting sands upon which his little house was built.
He made now the very most of Hortons. It is true that
time began to lie heavy upon his hands. He rose very
late in the morning, having his cup of tea and boiled
egg at nine, his bath at ten; he read the <i>Morning Post</i>
for an hour; then the barber, Merritt, from next door,
came in to shave him and give him the news of the day.
Merritt was a most amusing dark and dapper little<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</SPAN></span>
man. In him was the very spirit of St. James's, and
the Lord only knows how many businesses he carried
on beside his ostensible hair-dressing one. He could
buy anything for you, and sell anything, too! And his
gossip! Well, really, Absalom had thought himself
a good gossip in his day, but he had never been anything
to Merritt! Of course, half-a-crown was a good deal
for a shave, and Absalom was not sure whether in these
days he ought to afford it—"my only luxury" he
called it.</p>
<p>He did not see many of his friends this Christmas
time. They were all out of London he supposed. He
was a little surprised that the Beaumonts hadn't asked
him to spend Christmas at Hautoix. In the old days
that invitation had been as regular as the Waits. However,
they had lost their eldest son in the Cambrai
fighting. They were having no parties this Christmas,
of course.</p>
<p>He had thought that the Seddons might ask him.
He got on so well with Roddy and Rachel. They sent
him a card "from Rollo," their baby. Kind of them
to remember him! So he busied himself about the flat.
He was preparing for the future—for that wonderful
time when the war would be really and truly over, and
the world as it had been in the old days. His life was
centred in Hortons and the streets that surrounded it.
He could be seen every morning walking up Duke
Street into Piccadilly. He knew every shop by heart,
the picture shops that seemed to be little offspring of
the great "Christie's" round the corner, with their coloured
plates from Ackermann's "Microcosm," and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</SPAN></span>
Pierce Egan, and their oils of large, full-bosomed
eighteenth century ladies; and the shops with the china
and the cabinets and the lacquer (everything very
expensive indeed); and Bottome's, the paper shop, with
Mr. Bottome's humourous comments on the day's politics
chalked on to a slate near the door, and the <i>Vie
Parisienne</i> very large in the window; then there was
the shop at the corner of Jermyn Street, with the silk
dressing-gowns of dazzling colours, and the latest fashions
with pink silk vests, pyjamas; and the great
tobacconists and the wine-windows of Fortnum and
Masons—at last the familiar broad splendours of
Piccadilly itself. Up and down the little old streets
that had known all the famous men of their day, that
had lodged Thackeray and Swift and Dryden, and now
lodged Mr. Bottomley and the author of <i>Mutt and Jeff</i>,
the motors rolled and hooted and honked, and the messenger
boys whistled, and the flower-man went up and
down with his barrow, and everything was as expensive
and pleasant and humourous as could be. All this
Absalom Jay adopted. He was in his own mind,
although he did not know it, King of St. James's, and
he felt that they must all be very glad to have him
there, and that rents must have gone up since it was
known that he had taken his residence among them.</p>
<p>He even went in one day and expostulated with Mr.
Bottome for having the <i>Daily Herald</i> in his window.
Mr. Bottome agreed with him that it was not a "nice"
paper, but he also added that sinister sentence that
Absalom was getting now so tired of hearing that<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</SPAN></span>
"these were strange times. 'E didn't know what we
were coming to."</p>
<p>"Nonsense, my good man," said Absalom rather
tartly, "England isn't Russia."</p>
<p>"Looks damned like it sometimes," said Mr. Bottome.</p>
<p>Then as the year 1919 extended Absalom began to
feel terribly lonely. This fear of loneliness was rapidly
becoming a concrete and definite terror, lurking behind
the curtains in his flat, ready to spring out upon him
at any moment. Absalom had never in all his life been
alone. There had always been people around him.
Where now were they all? Men now were being demobilised,
houses were opening again, hospitals were
closing, dances were being given, and still his gold
mirror remained innocent of invitations. He fancied,
too (he was becoming very sensitive to impressions),
that the men in the "Warrington" were not so eager to
see him as they had been. He went to the "Warrington"
a great deal now "to be cheered up." He talked to men
to whom five years ago he would not have condescended
to say "Good-morning"—to Isaac Monteluke, for instance,
and Bandy Manners. Where were all his old
friends? They did not come to the club any longer,
it seemed. He could never find a bridge four now with
whom he was really at home. This may have been
partly because he was nervous these days of losing
money—he could not afford it—and he did not seem
to have his old control of his temper. Then his brain
was not quite so active as it had been. He could not
remember the cards....</p>
<p>One day he heard some fellow say: "Well, if I'd<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</SPAN></span>
had my way I'd chloroform everyone over sixty. We've
had enough of the old duds messing all the world up."</p>
<p>Chloroform all the old duds! What a terrible thing
to say? Why, five years ago it had been the other way.
Who cared then what a young man said? What could
he know? After all, it was the older men who had had
the experience, who knew life, who could tell the
others....</p>
<p>He found himself laying down the law about things—giving
ultimatums like—"They ought to be strung
up on lamp-posts—pandering to the ignorant lower
classes—that's what it is."</p>
<p>If there had been one thing above all others that
Absalom had hated all his life it had been rudeness—there
was the unforgivable sin. As a young man he
had been deferential to his elders, and so in his turn
he expected young men to be to him now. But they
were not. No, they were not. He had positively to
give up the "Warrington" because of the things that the
young men said.</p>
<p>There was a new trouble now—the trouble of money.
His investments were paying very badly, and the income
tax was absurd. He wrote to the <i>Times</i> about his
income tax, and they did not print his letter—did not
print it when they printed the letters of every sort of
nobody. Everything was so expensive that it took all
his courage to look at his weekly bill. He must eat
less; one ate, he read in the paper, far more than one
needed. So he gave up his breakfast, having only a
cup of coffee and a roll, as he had often done in France
in the old days. He was aware suddenly that his<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</SPAN></span>
clothes were beginning to look shabby. Bacon, the valet,
informed him of this. He did not like Bacon; he found
himself, indeed, sighing for the departed Rose. Bacon
was austere and inhuman. He spoke as seldom as possible.
He had no faults, he pressed clothes perfectly,
kept drawers in absolute order, did not drink Absalom's
claret nor smoke Absalom's cigarettes. No faults—but
what an impossible man! Absalom was afraid of him.
He drew his little body together under the bedclothes
when Bacon called him in the morning because of
Bacon's ironical eyes. Bacon gave him his <i>Times</i> as
though he said: "How dare you take in the <i>Times</i>—spend
threepence a day when you are as poor as you
are?"</p>
<p>It was because of Bacon that Absalom gave up
Merritt. He did not dare to have him when Bacon
knew his poverty.</p>
<p>"I'm going to shave myself in the future, Merritt,"
he said; "it's only laziness having you." Merritt was
politely sorry, but he was not very deeply grieved. Why
should he be when he had the King's valet and Sir
Edward Hawksbury, the famous K.C., and Borden
Hunt, the dramatist, to shave every morning?</p>
<p>But Absalom missed him terribly. He was now
indeed alone. No more gossip, no more laughter over
other people's weaknesses, no more hearty agreement
over the wicked selfishness of the lower orders.</p>
<p>Absalom gave up the <i>Times</i> because he could not
bear to see the lower orders encouraged. All this talk
about their not having enough to live on—wicked nonsense!
It was people like Absalom who had not enough<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</SPAN></span>
to live on. He wrote again to the <i>Times</i> and said so,
and again they did not publish his letter.</p>
<p>Then he woke from sleep one night, heard the clock
strike three, and was desperately frightened. He had
had a dream. What dream? He could not remember.
He only knew that in the course of it he had become
very, very old; he had been in a room without fire and
without light; he had been in prison—faces had glared
at him, cruel faces, young, sneering, menacing faces....
He was going to die.... He awoke with a
scream.</p>
<p>Next day he read himself a very serious lecture. He
was becoming morbid; he was giving in; he was allowing
himself to be afraid of things. He must pull himself
up. He was quite severe to Bacon, and reprimanded
him for bringing his breakfast at a quarter to
nine instead of half-past eight. He made out then a list
of houses that he would visit. They had forgotten him—he
must admit that. But how natural it was! After
all this time. Everyone had forgotten everybody.
Why, he had forgotten all sorts of people! Could not
remember their names!</p>
<p>For months now he had been saying, "After the
war," and now here "after the war" was. It was May,
and already Society was looking something like itself.
Covent Garden was open again. Soon there would be
Ascot and Henley and Goodwood; and the Peace Celebrations,
perhaps, if only those idiots at Versailles
moved a little more quickly! He felt the old familiar
stir in his blood as he saw the red letters and the green
pillars repainted, saw the early summer sunshine upon<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</SPAN></span>
the glittering windows of Piccadilly, saw the green
shadows of Hyde Park shift and tremble against the
pale blue of the evening sky, saw, once again, the private
cars quiver and tremble behind the policeman's hand
in the Circus; saw Delysia's name over the Pavilion,
and the posters of the evening papers, and the fountains
splashing in Trafalgar Square.</p>
<p>He put on his best clothes and went out.</p>
<p>He called upon Mary, Countess of Gosport, the
Duchess of Aisles, Lady Glenrobert, Mrs. Leo Torsch,
and dear Rachel Seddon. At the Countess of Gosport's
he found a clergyman, a companion, and a Chow; at
the Duchess of Aisles' four young Guardsmen, two
girls, and Isaac Monteluke, who had the insolence to
patronise him; at Lady Glenrobert's a vast crowd of
men and women rehearsing for a Peace pageant shortly
to be given at the Albert Hall; at Mrs. Leo Torsch's an
incredible company of artists, writers, and actors,
people unwashed and unbrushed, at sight of whom
Absalom's very soul trembled; at dear Rachel's charming
young people, all of whom looked right through
him as though he were an easy and undisturbing ghost.</p>
<p>He came back from these visits a weary, miserable,
and tired little man. Even Rachel had seemed to have
no time to give him.... An incredible lassitude
spread through all his bones. As he entered the portals
of No. 2 a boy passed him with a <i>Pall Mall</i> poster.
"Railwaymen issue Ultimatum." In his room he read
a <i>Times</i> leader, in which it said that the lower classes
were starving and had nowhere to sleep. And they
called the <i>Times</i> a reactionary paper! The lower<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</SPAN></span>
classes starving! What about the upper classes? With
his door closed, in his own deep privacy, surrounded
by his little gods, his mirror, his silver frames, and
his boot-trees, he wept—bitterly, helplessly, like a child.</p>
<p>From that moment he had no courage. Enemies
seemed to be on every side. Everywhere he was
insulted. If he went out boys pushed against him,
taxi-men swore at him, in the shops they were rude
to him! There was never room in the omnibuses, the
taxis were too expensive, and the Tubes! After an
attempt to reach Russell Square by Tube he vowed he
would never enter a Tube door again. He was pushed,
hustled, struck in the stomach, sworn at both by attendants
and passengers, jammed between stout women,
hurled off his feet, spoken to by a young soldier because
he did not give up his seat to a lady who haughtily
refused it when he offered ... Tubes!... never
again—never, oh, never again!</p>
<p>What then to do? Walking tired him desperately.
Everywhere seemed now so far away!</p>
<p>So he remained in his flat; but now Hortons itself
was different. Now that he was confined to it it was
very small, and he was always tumbling over things.
A pipe burst one morning, and his bathroom was
flooded. The bathroom wall-paper began to go the
strangest and most terrible colours—it was purple and
pink and green, and there were splotches of white mildew
that seemed to move before your eyes as you lay in
your bath and watched them. Absalom went to Mr.
Nix, and Mr. Nix said that it should be seen to at once,
but day after day went by and nothing was done. When<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</SPAN></span>
Mr. Nix was appealed to he said rather restively that
he was very sorry but he was doing his best—labour
was so difficult to get now—"You could not rely on
the men."</p>
<p>"But they've got to come!" screamed Absalom.</p>
<p>Mr. Nix shrugged his shoulders; from his lips fell
those fatal and now so monotonous words:</p>
<p>"We're living in changed times, Mr. Jay."</p>
<p>Changed times! Absalom should think we were.
Everyone was ruder and ruder and ruder. Bills were
beginning to worry him terribly—such little bills, but
men would come and wait downstairs in the hall for
them.</p>
<p>The loneliness increased and wrapped him closer and
closer. His temper was becoming atrocious as he well
knew. Bacon now paid no attention to his wishes, his
meals were brought up at any time, his rooms were not
cleaned, his silver was tarnished. All he had to do was
to complain to Mr. Nix, who ruled Hortons with a rod
of iron, and allowed no incivilities or slackness. But
he was afraid to do that; he was afraid of the way that
Bacon would treat him afterwards. Always, everywhere
now he saw this increasing attention that was
paid to the lower classes. Railwaymen, miners, hair-dressers,
dockers, bakers, waiters, they struck, got what
they wanted and then struck for more.</p>
<p>He hated the lower classes—hated them, hated them!
The very sight of a working man threw him into a
frenzy. What about the upper classes and the middle
classes! Did you ever see a word in the paper about
them? Never!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>He was not well, his heart troubled him very much.
Sometimes he lay on his sofa battling for breath. But
he did not dare to go to a doctor. He could not afford
a doctor.</p>
<p>But God is merciful. He put a period to poor
Absalom's unhappiness. When it was plain that this
world was no longer a place for Absalom's kind He
gathered Absalom to His bosom.</p>
<p>And it was in this way. There arrived suddenly
one day a card: "The Duchess of Aisles ... Dancing."
His heart beat high at the sight of it. He had
to lie down on his sofa to recover himself. He stuck
his card into the mirror and was compelled to say
something to Bacon about it. Bacon did not seem to
be greatly impressed at the sight.</p>
<p>He dressed on the great evening with the utmost
care. The sight of his bathroom affected him; it
seemed to cover him with pink spots and mildew, but
he shook that off from him and boldly ventured forth
to Knightsbridge. He found an immense party gathered
there. Many, many people.... He didn't seem
to recognise any of them. The Duchess herself had
apparently forgotten him. He reminded her. He
crept about; he felt strangely as though at any moment
someone might shoot him in the back. Then he found
Mrs. Charles Clinton, one of his hostesses of the old
days. She was kind but preoccupied. Then he discovered
Tom Wardour—old Tom Wardour, the stupidest
man in London and the greediest. Nevertheless he
was glad to see him.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"By Jove, old man, you <i>do</i> look seedy," Tom said;
"what have you been doing to yourself?"</p>
<p>Tactless of Tom, that! He felt more than ever that
someone was going to shoot him in the back. He crept
away and hid himself in a corner. He dozed a little,
then woke to hear his own name. A woman was speaking
of him. He recognized Mrs. Clinton's voice.</p>
<p>"Whom do you think I saw just now?... Yes, old
Absalom Jay. Like a visit from the dead. Yes, and
<i>so</i> old. You know how smart he used to be. He looked
quite shabby, poor old thing. Oh no, of course, he was
always stupid. But now—oh, dreadful!... I assure
you he gave me the creeps. Yes, of course, he belonged
to that old world before the war. <i>Doesn't</i> it seem a
long time ago? Centuries. What I say is that one can't
believe one was alive then at all...."</p>
<p>Gave her the creeps! Gave Mrs. Clinton the creeps!
He felt as though his premonition had been true, and
someone <i>had</i> shot him in the back. He crept away, out
of the house, right away.</p>
<p>He crept into a Tube. The trains were crowded.
He had to hang on to a strap. At Hyde Park Corner
two workmen got in; they had been drinking together.
Very big men they were. They stood one on each side
of Absalom and lurched about. Absalom was pushed
hither and thither.</p>
<p>"Where the 'ell are you comin' to?" one said.</p>
<p>The other knocked Absalom's hat off as though by an
accident. Then the former elaborately picked it up
and offered it with a low bow, digging Absalom in
the stomach as he did so.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"'Ere y'are, my lord," he said. They roared with
laughter. The whole carriage laughed. At Dover
Street Absalom got out. He hurried through the
streets, and the tears were pouring down his cheeks.
He could not stop them; he seemed to have no control
over them. They were not his tears.... He entered
Hortons, and in the lift hid his face so that Fannie
should not see that he was crying.</p>
<p>He closed his door behind him, did not turn on the
lights, found the sofa, and cowered down there as though
he were hiding from someone.</p>
<p>The tears continued to race down his cheeks. Then
suddenly it seemed as though the walls of the bathroom,
all blotched and purple, all stained with creeping mildew,
closed in the dark about him.</p>
<p>He heard a voice cry—a working-man's voice—he did
not hear the words, but the walls towered above him
and the white mildew expanded into jeering, hideous,
triumphant faces.</p>
<p>His heart leapt and he knew no more.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<p>Bacon and the maid found him huddled thus on the
floor dead next morning.</p>
<p>"Well now," said Bacon, "that's a lucky thing.
Young Somerset next door's been wanting this flat.
Make a nice suite if he knocks a door through—gives
him seven rooms. He'll be properly pleased."</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</SPAN></span></p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />