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<h1>THE GREEN ODYSSEY</h1>
<p>by Philip José Farmer</p>
<p>Make friends fast.<br/>
—<i>Handbook For The Shipwrecked</i></p>
<p>Ballantine Books<br/>
New York</p>
<p>Copyright 1957, by<br/>
Philip José Farmer</p>
<p>Library of Congress Catalog Card No. 57-10603<br/>
Printed in the United States of America</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ballantine Books, Inc.</span><br/>
101 Fifth Avenue,<br/>
New York 3, N. Y.</p>
<p>[Transcriber's Note: Extensive research did not uncover any<br/>
evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
<p>This is an original novel—not a reprint—published <span class="smcap">by Ballantine
Books, Inc.</span></p>
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<p>To Nan Gerding</p>
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<hr class="chap" />
<p class="ph3">DANGER! THRILLS! ADVENTURE!</p>
<p>Alan Green was not exactly a hero. In fact he liked peace just as
well as the next man. Not that he was really afraid of that crazy,
hot-blooded hound-dog Alzo, or even of the hound's gorgeous owner, the
Duchess Zuni—who was also hot-blooded (to say nothing of the Duke).
After all, these things were understood on this backward, violent
planet, and a man could manage, provided he was alert twenty-four hours
a day.</p>
<p>And as a matter of fact, Alan was only normally apprehensive of his
Junoesque, tempestuous (but altogether lovable) wife Amra. Delightful,
demanding Amra—and her five uproarious kids. The trouble was, he was
tired. And homesick.</p>
<p>So when he heard of two other downed spacemen, he hitched a ride with
a piratical merchant-captain on a windroller destined to carry him to
the spaceship and thence to the peaceful green hills of Earth. But
he had reckoned without the vagaries of the windroller, pirates, the
"traveling islands," the rascally Captain, and various flora and fauna
peculiar to this planet—all of which, it now seemed, regarded Alan
with unnerving malevolence.</p>
<p>And worst of all, Amra was determined that he should be a hero. Amra
won.</p>
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<h2>1</h2>
<p>For two years Alan Green had lived without hope. From the day the
spaceship had crashed on this unknown planet he had resigned himself
to the destiny created for him by accident and mathematics. Chances
against another ship landing within the next hundred years were a
million to one. Therefore it would do no good to sit around waiting
for rescue. Much as he loathed the idea, he must live the rest of his
life here, and he must squeeze as much blood as he could out of this
planet-sized turnip. There wasn't much to squeeze. In fact, it seemed
to him that he was the one losing the blood. Shortly after he'd been
cast away he'd been made a slave.</p>
<p>Now, suddenly, he had hope.</p>
<p>Hope came to him a month after he'd been made foreman of the kitchen
slaves of the Duke of Tropat. It came to him as he was standing behind
the Duchess during a meal and directing those who were waiting upon her.</p>
<p>It was the Duchess Zuni who had not so subtly maneuvered him from the
labor pens to his coveted, if dangerous, position. Why dangerous?
Because she was very jealous and possessive, and the slightest hint of
lack of attention from him could mean he'd lose his life or one limb
or another. The knowledge of what had happened to his two predecessors
kept him extremely sensitive to her every gesture, her every wish.</p>
<p>That fateful morning he was standing behind her as she sat at one end
of the long breakfast table. In one hand he held his foreman's wand,
a little white baton topped by a large red ball. With it he gestured
at the slaves who served food, who poured wine and beer, who fanned
away the flies, who carried in the household god and sat it on the god
chair, who played something like music. Now and then he bent over the
Duchess Zuni's long black hair and whispered phrases from this or that
love poem, praising her beauty, her supposed unattainability, and his
burning, if seemingly hopeless, passion for her. Zuni would smile, or
repeat the formula of thanks—the short one—or else giggle at his
funny accent.</p>
<p>The Duke sat at the other end of the table. He ignored the by-play,
just as he ignored the so-called secret passage inside the walls of the
castle, which Green used to get to the Duchess's apartments. Custom
demanded this, just as custom demanded that he should play the outraged
husband if she got tired of Green or angry at him and accused him
publicly of amorous advances. This was enough to make Green jittery,
but he had more than the Duke to consider. There was Alzo.</p>
<p>Alzo was the Duchess's watchdog, a mastiff-like monster with shaggy
red-gold hair. The dog hated Green with a vindictiveness that Green
could only account for by supposing that the animal knew, perhaps from
his body-odor, that he was not a native of this planet. Alzo rumbled
a warning deep in his chest every time Green bent over the Duchess or
made a too-sudden movement. Occasionally he rose to his four feet and
nuzzled the man's leg. When that happened Green could not keep from
breaking out into a sweat, for the dog had twice bitten him, playfully,
so to speak, and severely lacerated his calf. As if that weren't bad
enough, Green had to worry that the natives might notice that his scars
healed abnormally fast, almost overnight. He'd been forced to wear
bandages on his legs long after the new skin had come in.</p>
<p>Even now, the nauseating canine was sniffing around Green's quivering
hide in the hope of putting the fear of the devil in him. At that
moment the Earthman resolved that, come the headsman's ax, rack, wheel,
or other hellish tortures, he was going to kill that hound. It was just
after he made that vow that the Duchess caused him to forget altogether
the beast.</p>
<p>"Dear," said Zuni, interrupting the Duke in the midst of his
conversation with a merchant-captain, "what is this I hear about two
men who have fallen from the sky in a great ship of iron?"</p>
<p>Green quivered, and he held his breath as he waited for the Duke's
reply.</p>
<p>The Duke, a short, dark many-chinned man with white hair and very thick
bristly salt-and-pepper eyebrows, frowned.</p>
<p>"Men? Demons, rather! Can men fly in an iron ship through the air?
These two claimed to have come from the stars, and you know what that
means. Remember Oixrotl's prophecy: <i>A demon will come, claiming
to be an angel</i>. No doubt about these two! Just to show you their
subtlety, they claim to be neither demon nor angels, but men! Now,
there's devilish clever thinking. Confusing to anybody but the most
clear-headed. I'm glad the King of Estorya wasn't taken in."</p>
<p>Eagerly Zuni leaned forward, her large brown eyes bright, and her
red-painted mouth open and wet. "Oh, has he burned them already? What a
shame! I should think he'd at least torture them for a while."</p>
<p>Miran, the merchant-captain, said, "Your pardon, gracious lady, but the
King of Estorya has done no such thing. The Estoryan law demands that
all suspected demons should be kept in prison for two years. Everybody
knows that a devil can't keep his human disguise more than two years.
At the end of that time he reverts to his natural flesh and form, a
hideous sight to behold, blasphemous, repulsive, soul-shaking."</p>
<p>Miran rolled his one good eye so that only the white showed and made
the sign to ward off evil, the index finger held rigidly out from a
clenched fist. Jugkaxtr, the household priest, dived under the table,
where he crouched praying, secure in the knowledge that demons couldn't
touch him while he knelt beneath the thrice-blessed wood. The Duke
swallowed a whole glass of wine, apparently to calm his nerves, and
belched.</p>
<p>Miran wiped his face and said, "Of course, I wasn't able to find
out much, because we merchants are regarded with deep suspicion and
scarcely dare to move outside the harbor or the marketplace. The
Estoryans worship a female deity—ridiculous, isn't it?—and eat fish.
They hate us Tropatians because we worship Zaxropatr, Male of Males,
and because they must depend on us to bring them fish. But they aren't
close-mouthed. They babble on and on to us, especially when one has
given them wine for nothing."</p>
<p>Green finally released his breath in a sigh of relief. How glad he
was that he had never told these people his true origin! So far as
they knew he was merely one of the many slaves who came from a distant
country in the North.</p>
<p>Miran cleared his throat, adjusted his violet turban and yellow robes,
pulled gently at the large gold ring that hung from his nose and said,
"It took me a month to get back from Estorya, and that is very good
time indeed, but then I am noted for my good luck, though I prefer to
call it skill plus the favor given by the gods to the truly devout.
I do not boast, O gods, but merely give you tribute because you have
smiled upon my ventures and have found pleasing the scent of my many
sacrifices in your nostrils!"</p>
<p>Green lowered his eyelids to conceal the expression of disgust which he
felt must be shining from them. At the same time, he saw Zuni's shoe
tapping impatiently. Inwardly he groaned, because he knew she would
divert the conversation to something more interesting to her, to her
clothes and the state of her stomach and/or complexion. And there would
be nothing that anybody could do about it, because the custom was that
the woman of the house regulated the subject of talk during breakfast.
If only this had been lunch or dinner! Then the men would theoretically
have had uncontested control.</p>
<p>"These two demons were very tall, like your slave Green, here," said
Miran, "and they could not speak a word of Estoryan. Or at least they
claimed they couldn't. When King Raussmig's soldiers tried to capture
them they brought from the folds of their strange clothes two pistols
that only had to be pointed to send silent and awesome and sure death.
Everywhere men dropped dead. Panic overtook many, but there were brave
soldiers who kept on charging, and eventually the magical instruments
became exhausted. The demons were overpowered and put into the Tower
of Grass Cats from which no man or demon has yet escaped. And there
they will be until the Festival of the Sun's Eye. Then they will be
burnt...."</p>
<p>From beneath the table rose the babble of the priest, Jugkaxtr,
as he blessed everyone in the house, down to the latest-born pup,
and the fleas living thereoff, and cursed all those who were
possessed by even the tiniest demon. The Duke, growing impatient at
the noise, kicked under the table. Jugkaxtr yelped and presently
crawled out. He sat down and began gnawing the meat from a bone,
a well-done-thou-good-and-faithful-servant expression on his fat
features. Green also felt like kicking him, just as he often felt
like kicking every single human being on this planet. It was hard to
remember that he must exercise compassion and understanding for them,
and that his own remote ancestors had once been just as nauseatingly
superstitious, cruel and bloody.</p>
<p>There was a big difference between reading about such people and
actually living among them. A history or a romantic novel could
describe how unwashed and diseased and formula-bound primitives were,
but only the too-too substantial stench and filth could make your gorge
rise.</p>
<p>Even as he stood there Zuni's powerful perfume rose and clung in heavy
festoons about him and slithered down his nostrils. It was a rare and
expensive perfume, brought back by Miran from his voyages and given to
her as a token of the merchant's esteem. Used in small quantities it
would have been quite effective to express feminine daintiness and to
hint at delicate passion. But no, Zuni poured it like water over her,
hoping to cover up the stale odor left by <i>not</i> taking a bath more than
once a month.</p>
<p>She looked so beautiful, he thought. And stank so terribly. At least
she had at first. Now she looked less beautiful because he knew how
stupid she was, and didn't stink quite so badly because his nostrils
had become somewhat adjusted. They'd had to.</p>
<p>"I intend to be back in Estorya by the time of the festival," said
Miran. "I've never seen the Eye of the Sun burn demons before. It's a
giant lens, you know. There will be just time enough to make a voyage
there and get back before the rainy season. I expect to make even
greater profits than the last time, because I've established some
highly placed contacts. O gods, I do not boast but merely praise your
favor to your humble worshiper, Miran the Merchant of the Clan of
Effenycan!"</p>
<p>"Please bring me some more of this perfume," said the Duchess, "and I
just love the diamond necklace you gave me."</p>
<p>"Diamonds, emeralds, rubies!" cried Miran, kissing his hand and rolling
his eye ecstatically. "I tell you, the Estoryans are rich beyond our
dreams! Jewels flow in their marketplaces like drops of water in a
cataract! Ah, if only the Emperor could be induced to organize a great
raiding fleet and storm its walls!"</p>
<p>"He remembers too well what happened to his father's fleet when he
tried it," growled the Duke. "The storm that destroyed his thirty ships
was undoubtedly raised by the priests of the Goddess Hooda. I still
think that the expedition would have succeeded, however, if the late
Emperor had not ignored the vision that came to him the night before
they set sail. It was the great god Axoputqui, and he said...."</p>
<p>There was a lengthy conversation which did not hold Green's attention.
He was too busy trying to think of a plan whereby he could get
to Estorya and to the demons' iron vessel, which was obviously a
spaceship. This was his only chance. Soon the rainy season would start
and there would be no vessels leaving for at least three months.</p>
<p>He could, of course, just walk away and hope to get to Estorya on foot.
Thousands of miles through countless perils, and he had only a general
idea of where the city was ... no, Miran was his only hope.</p>
<p>But how...? He didn't think that stowing away would work. There was
always a careful search for slaves who might try just that very plan.
He looked at Miran, the short, fat, big-stomached, hook-nosed, one-eyed
fellow with many chins and a large gold ring in his nose. The fellow
was shrewd, shrewd, and he would not want to offend the Duchess by
helping her official gigolo escape. Not, that is, unless Green could
offer him something that was so valuable that he couldn't afford not to
take the risk. Miran boasted that he was a hard-headed businessman, but
it was Green's observation that there was always a large soft spot in
that supposedly impenetrable cranium: the Fissure of Cupiditas.</p>
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