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<h1>THE TORCH-BEARERS</h1>
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<p class="center">“There will be actresses when husbands
are a thing of the past.”</p>
<p class="center"><span class="gap">
—<i>Mrs. Pampinelli.</i></span></p>
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<p><span class="xxlarge">THE TORCH-BEARERS</span></p>
<p><span class="xlarge"><i>A Satirical Comedy</i></span><br/>
<i>in</i><br/>
THREE ACTS</p>
<p><span class="large"><i>By</i> GEORGE KELLY</span></p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/i_titledeco.jpg" alt="" /></div>
<p><small><i>Preface by</i></small><br/>
KENNETH MACGOWAN</p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/i_titlelogo.jpg" alt="" /></div>
<p><small>NEW YORK</small><br/>
AMERICAN LIBRARY SERVICE<br/>
<small>1923</small></p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<p class="center">
<i>Copyright 1923</i><br/>
AMERICAN LIBRARY SERVICE<br/>
<i>All Rights Reserved.</i></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p>“The Torch-Bearers,” by George Kelly, was
presented by Stewart and French for the first
time on any stage at the Savoy Theatre, Asbury
Park, New Jersey, on the night of Monday,
August 14, 1922, with the following cast:</p>
<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" summary="table">
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mr. Frederick Ritter</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Mr. Arthur Shaw</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mr. Huxley Hossefrosse</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Mr. Douglas Garden</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mr. Spindler</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Mr. Edward Reese</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mr. Ralph Twiller</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Mr. Booth Howard</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Teddy Spearing</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Mr. William Castle</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mr. Stage Manager</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Mr. J. A. Curtis</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mrs. Paula Ritter</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Miss Mary Boland</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mrs. J. Duro Pampinelli</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Miss Alison Skipworth</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mrs. Nelly Fell</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Miss Helen Lowell</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Miss Florence McCrickett</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Miss Rose Mary King</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mrs. Clara Sheppard</span> </td><td> <span class="smcap">Miss Daisy Atherton</span></td></tr>
<tr><td><span class="smcap">Jenny</span></td><td> <span class="smcap">Miss Mary Gildea</span></td></tr>
</table>
<p class="center">Play staged by the Author</p>
<p>NOTE—</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The form of the present manuscript is exactly that
in which this play was presented during its run at
the Vanderbilt Theatre, New York City, New York.</p>
<p class="right">
—<i>The Author.</i></p>
</blockquote>
<hr class="chap" />
<p class="ph1">THE TORCH-BEARERS</p>
<hr class="tiny" />
<h2 class="nobreak">CAST</h2></div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mr. Frederick Ritter</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mr. Huxley Hossefrosse</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mr. Spindler</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mr. Ralph Twiller</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Teddy Spearing</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mr. Stage Manager</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Paula Ritter</span> (<i>Ritter’s wife</i>)</div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mrs. J. Duro Pampinelli</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Nelly Fell</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Miss Florence McCrickett</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Clara Sheppard</span></div>
<div class="verse"><span class="smcap">Jenny</span> (<i>a housemaid at Ritter’s</i>)</div>
</div></div>
<hr class="tiny" />
<h2>SCENE</h2>
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="table">
<tr><td>ACT I—</td><td>A kind of drawing-room in the home of
Frederick Ritter, on an evening in October,
about 8 o’clock.</td></tr>
<tr><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>ACT II—</td><td>Behind the scenes at Horticultural Hall, the
following evening at 8:30.</td></tr>
<tr><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>ACT III—</td><td>The drawing-room at Ritter’s, two hours
later.</td></tr>
</table>
<hr class="chap" />
<blockquote>
<p>Stage, screen and amateur rights for the
production of this play are controlled by
the author, George Kelly, 3665 Midvale
Avenue, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
No public readings or performances may
be given without his written consent.</p>
</blockquote>
<hr class="chap" />
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xiii" id="Page_xiii">[xiii]</SPAN></span>
<h2 class="nobreak">PREFACE</h2></div>
<p>I cannot remember if it was one of those torrid and
terrible nights of August when the chain-gang of New
York’s critics was tolled off to the Forty-Eighth Street
Theatre for the première of <i>The Torch-Bearers</i>. But
I do know that the general atmosphere of oppression—physical,
mental, professional—was a little denser than
usual. In the first twenty-eight days of August, 1922,
managements too daring or too resourceless to wait for
September had deluged us with a steady stream of inanity,
and here was another dousing in prospect. If it
wasn’t the heat, it was certainly the humidity of theatrical
August. Unknown play, new producers, author’s
name vaguely connected with vaudeville; altogether a
production so little esteemed by the booking powers
that it had to slip into a few weeks before the Equity
Players began their season at this theatre. It could
have been a night of Elysian coolness, and still we
would have been expecting the worst. It could have
been mid-April, and still we should have found an almost
ineffable freshness in the breeze of George Kelly’s
little comedy.</p>
<p>The cold, historical fact is that at about 9:15 o’clock
on the evening of August 29th, 1922, five or six hundred
average New Yorkers, two or three hundred
friends of the management, and about fifty sophisticated
first-nighters were in grave danger of rolling off their
seats in hysteria because of <i>The Torch-Bearers</i>.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xiv" id="Page_xiv">[xiv]</SPAN></span>The intermissions were filled with three questions
which more or less concern the reader of the published
play. Who was George Kelly? Where did he get
the comedy? How would it go?</p>
<p>On August 29th, 1922, George Kelly was a perfectly
good Philadelphian in his late twenties who was
much better known to vaudeville than to fame. He
had written, directed, and played in about a dozen one-act
comedies and dramas on Keith and Orpheum time.
He had begun by quitting his family’s private tutor to
try acting in a playlet by the late Paul Armstrong.
Then—with no more preparation, apparently—he had
begun to write his own vehicles. A certain drama in
France absorbed his attentions for a while. After that
more “sketches”—as the vaudeville powers call any effort
above vocal or bodily acrobatics—and suddenly a
play.</p>
<p>The origin of <i>The Torch-Bearers</i> was simple enough.
Kelly wrote the kind of tight, effective short plays that
amateur actors and little theatre directors are always
looking for. He had a perfectly good Philadelphia
family behind him. And so he was being invited to
lunch every now and then by the Pampinellis of the
cities in which he played. To hear them was enough.
They had to live a wider life.</p>
<p><i>The Torch-Bearers</i> passed a prosperous term on
Broadway, and I think it will go far in the little theatres
which it satirizes. But upon the opening night I
remember much dubious debate about its chances. We<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xv" id="Page_xv">[xv]</SPAN></span>
had laughed ourselves almost literally sick, and at the
end of the second intermission we had not yet seen the
rather prosy last act. Yet—conscious of our personal
superiority—we wondered.... Brander Matthews
and Aristotle would scoff at it, George M. Cohan and
Professor Baker would scowl. <i>The Torch-Bearers</i>
broke all the rules, and it had no plot. Obviously, by
all the rules, it ought to fail.</p>
<p>There may be a good many reasons why it didn’t,
and some may lead you far into aesthetic explorations
of the present breakdown of dramatic form all over the
world. But the reader will find more cogent reasons
in the pages that follow this introduction. Personally, I
should put it down to the fact that the character-study
of the first act and the hokum of the second are irresistible.
We have all met our Pampinellis, and we have
all seen the lady prompter take a curtain call, or had
our mustache fall off in the big scene. We can never
resist some characterization on the stage, and as for
such hokum as this record of all the mishaps of the
amateur actor, ill luck is the heart of broad comedy
and when ill luck comes where it is most painful—in
personal display—Cassandra herself must smile.</p>
<p>There were other things to make the death-watch
wonder whether <i>The Torch Bearers</i> could live. It
was satire. Satire is not ordinarily a popular commodity
in the theatre. It defeats sympathy, and sympathy
is necessary to emotion, and emotion to theatrical success.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xvi" id="Page_xvi">[xvi]</SPAN></span>Satire has had its great moments, however, in the
history of the drama. Aristophanes made merry over
the fashions, foibles, and philosophies of Athens. Satire
was Molière’s stock in trade. Shaw has done very
well by poking a finger at society. Every nation has
at least one outstanding theatrical satire to its credit.
But for the war, the wise of Paris might still be laughing
at the French Academy because of de Flers and de
Caillavet’s <i>L’Habit Vert</i>. England has <i>The School
for Scandal</i>, as Ireland has <i>The Playboy</i> and <i>John
Bull’s Other Island</i>. Germany, though a little heavy
in the theatre, can still point to Schnitzler’s <i>Literature</i>.</p>
<p>Just at the moment America is beginning to display
a surprising fondness for theatrical satire. Beginning
is hardly the word, perhaps, for the first American drama,
<i>The Contrast</i>, lampooned society with a large “S”;
<i>Fashion</i>, our first play by a woman, spoke out smartly
against the smart world, and from <i>Our American Cousin</i>
down to date, so many of our playwrights have
spoofed the alien and the aristocratic for the benefit of
the homespun, that it is only by a hair that I can risk
the statement that it is a “surprising fondness” which
we now display for satire. America has always enjoyed
its irreverent moments in the theatre, but it has
seldom gone in for whole plays devoted to almost nothing
but lampooning.</p>
<p>In the last three seasons, however, the distinctly satirical
play has climbed noticeably in favour. In 1919-20
there was nothing of the kind to be seen on Broadway.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xvii" id="Page_xvii">[xvii]</SPAN></span>
In 1920-21 came Porter Emerson Browne’s
Mexican melodrama, <i>The Bad Man</i>, with most of its
success due to sly digs at both sides of the international
line, and George M. Cohan’s joke at the expense of
audiences as well as playwrights, <i>The Tavern</i>. Last
season, playgoers good-humoredly made a satire out of
the deadly serious absurdities of the British melodrama,
<i>Bulldog Drummond</i>; the <i>Chauve-Souris</i> twitted Russian
drama a little—in Russian; and the firm of Kaufman
and Connelly began in <i>Dulcy</i> and <i>To the Ladies!</i>
to vend biting wit at the expense of scenario writers
and advertisers, efficiency experts and after-dinner
speakers.</p>
<p>This season a perfect flood of satire broke upon us,
most of it very good indeed, and some of it destined to
be successful with a large public. Besides <i>The Torch-Bearers</i>,
there have been <i>R. U. R.</i>, grim sarcasm upon
labour and capital, and a new bill of the <i>Chauve-Souris</i>,
the Kaufman-Connelly version of Henry Leon Wilson’s
<i>Merton of the Movies</i>, <i>Six Characters in Search
of an Author</i>, from the Italian, and <i>The World We
Live In</i>, the insect comedy from the Czecho-Slovak.</p>
<p>The future of <i>The Torch-Bearers</i>, now that its
Broadway career is over, brings us up against the little
theatre movement. I am very much in favor of that
odd and amazing phenomenon. I believe a great deal
of the promise of the American stage outside New York
and a surprising amount of its present accomplishment
in that metropolis, is due to the uncontrollable desire<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xviii" id="Page_xviii">[xviii]</SPAN></span>
of people not so very unlike Mrs. Pampinelli to produce
plays. Kelly’s satire touches the lower fringes of what
Mrs. P. calls “the movement,” but it might be directed
at Maurice Browne, Sam Hume, and Irving
Pichel and the little theatre would still go on, and
<i>The Torch-Bearers</i> would become—as I am sure it
will—one of the most popular pieces in the repertory
of the amateur actor. Many a Mrs. Pampinelli, safe
in the sense of her own self-importance, will do for
<i>The Torch-Bearers</i> all that Mrs. P. did—which is,
as Kelly observes, to “tell the players where to go on
the stage, so they won’t be running into each other.”</p>
<p>But there is art in this play—not mere observation—and
I am afraid none of the Pampinellis who are to
be concerned with its future will ever quite equal the
person that the author and Alison Skipworth, the actress,
created between them. I do not look for any
moment so extraordinary as when Mrs. Pampinelli,
discussing the fatalities invariably connected with these
amateur performances, reaches her peroration: “We
are not dismayed; we have the lessons of history to fortify
us: for whenever the torch of essential culture has
been raised, (<i>she raises the lead-pencil as though it
were a torch</i>) there has unfailingly been the concomitant
exactment of a human life.” For one cannot
expect to find a cuckoo-clock always present with its
sapient comment at such a moment.</p>
<p>The reader will find the cuckoo-clock, the satire,
and the hokum for himself. He will also detect, I<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xix" id="Page_xix">[xix]</SPAN></span>
think, a strain of divine and devilish madness in Kelly
which promises something of genius for the American
drama. The reader may note, too, in Kelly’s script
the kind of practical qualification for the theatre of
which Mr. Ritter speaks feelingly on page 56. This
qualification has produced extraordinarily effective humor
and something else. This is a sense for stage
management. It makes Kelly a rare and precious figure
in our theatre, and gives you a script to read—or
to produce—that is liberally supplied with every bit
of business and direction necessary for putting on the
play—either in the Cohoes Little Theatre or your own
imagination.</p>
<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Kenneth Macgowan.</span></p>
<p>Pelham Manor, N. Y., February 25, 1923.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xx" id="Page_xx">[xx]</SPAN></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xxi" id="Page_xxi">[xxi]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>NOTE: The drawing-room at Ritter’s, in which
the first and last acts are laid, is a comfortable-looking
room, suggestive of good circumstance. Toward the
back there is a fancy wooden partition separating the
hallway from the room proper. This partition begins
rather high up on the side walls and curves deeply
down to two ornamental columns, five feet high and
set about five feet apart, forming the entrance from
the hallway to the room. Straight out through this
entrance, and paralleling the partition, is the staircase,
running up to the left and through an arched
doorway. The foot of the staircase is just to the right
of the center-door; and then the hallway continues on
out to the front door. On the left, there is a passageway
between the staircase and the partition, running
through an arched doorway to the body of the
house. In the room proper, breaking the angle of the
right wall and the partition, is a door, opening out, and
below this door, a casement-window. On the left,
breaking the angle of the left wall and the partition,
is the mantelpiece, and below it a door, opening out.
Just inside the partition, on either side of the center-door,
is a built-in seat.</p>
<p>The entire room and hallway is done in a scheme of
silver and the lighter shades of green. All the woodwork
and furniture, including the piano and mantelpiece,
is finished in silver-green, and the walls and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xxii" id="Page_xxii">[xxii]</SPAN></span>
ceiling are in blended tones of orchid, gray and green,
decorated with tapestried panel-effects. The carpet is
gray-green, and the vases and clock on the mantelpiece,
as well as the little cuckoo-clock over the door at
the left, are green. The drapes on the casement-window
and the doorways, at the head of the stairs and
in the left hallway, are in rose-colored brocaded satin;
and the pads on the partition-seats are covered with the
same material. The piano-throw is a garishly subdued
blend of old-rose, Nile green and canary-colored
silk.</p>
<p>Right out between the little wooden columns of the
center-door, set flat against the staircase, is a small
console-table, holding a most beautiful rose-colored
vase filled with wisteria; and on the piano there is a
similar vase filled with white and yellow blossoms. On
either side of the console-table there is a tall torchiere
with a rose-colored shade; and the shades on the wall-lights,
and the one on the lovely rose-colored vase-lamp
on the table down at the right below the casement-window,
are all rose-colored.</p>
<p>There’s a brilliant array of cushions about the room,
all shapes and sizes, and every color of the rainbow,—and
many books and magazines. The piano, up at the
right, is littered with music, cigarettes, in a fancy container,
flowers and candy—in a pretty box made of
pink satin.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_xxiii" id="Page_xxiii">[xxiii]</SPAN></span>The two arm-chairs in the room, one just to the
left of the table below the window, and the other at the
left side of the table over at the left, are over-stuffed
in green-and-silver brocade.</p>
<p>There is a small table below the piano, with a light
little chair beside it, the left side, and there is a similar
chair over at the extreme left, below the door.</p>
<p>The keyboard of the piano parallels the right wall,
with enough room, of course, between the piano-stool
and wall to permit of easy use of the door. There
must also be room enough above the piano for a passageway
between it and the partition-seat.</p>
<p>The rights and lefts employed in the foregoing descriptions
are, of course, the player’s rights and lefts.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</SPAN></span>
<h2 class="nobreak">ACT ONE.</h2></div>
<p><i>After a slight pause, a door out at the right is heard
to close, and immediately Mr. Ritter comes along the
hallway beyond the partition and into the room. He
is a brisk, rather stocky type of man, in his early forties,
wearing a brown suit and overcoat, a derby hat,
and carrying a suit-case. He sets the suit-case down
on the partition-seat at the right, and, with a glance
around the room, at the unusual arrangement of the
furniture, starts out into the hallway again, removing
his gloves and overcoat. He glances along the hallway
to the left and up the stairs as he goes. Jenny
comes along the hallway from the left carrying a small,
light chair. As she is about to come into the drawing-room
proper from the hallway, she becomes conscious
of Mr. Ritter out at the hall-rack at the right. She
stops and peers in that direction. She is a pleasant
little English person, plump and trim, dressed in the
regulation parlor-maid’s black and white.</i></p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Is that you, Mr. Ritter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> That’s who it is, Jenny! How are you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Bringing the little chair forward and
placing it above the little table at the left</i>] Pretty
well, thanks, Mr. Ritter, how are <i>you</i>?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming along the hallway from the
right</i>] I’m whatever you are, Jenny. [<i>Jenny gives a</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</SPAN></span>
<i>faint little laugh and proceeds with her arrangements,
and Ritter picks up several telegrams from the stand in
the hallway, just to the left of the center entrance.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Ain’t you back a bit soon?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming forward to the small table at
the right, below the piano</i>] Yes, I thought I’d have
to go down to Cincinnati for a week or two, but I
didn’t.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Mrs. Ritter ain’t expectin’ you, is she?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Glancing thru the telegrams</i>] No, she
isn’t, Jenny.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> I thought I didn’t remember hearin’ her
sayin’ nothin’.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Where is she?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Starting for the hallway</i>] She’s upstairs,
sir, I’ll call her.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>With a glance at the furniture</i>] What
are you doing around here, Jenny, housecleaning?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Turning and coming back</i>] No, sir,
there’s a rehearsal here tonight. [<i>Ritter stops reading
and looks at her quizzically for a second.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What kind of a rehearsal?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Why, a rehearsal for a show that Mrs.
Ritter’s takin’ part in tomorrow night. They done it
at the Civic Club the week after you went away, and
they liked it so well they’re doin’ it again tomorrow
night.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> <i>Who</i> liked it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Sir?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I say, who liked it so well that they’re
doing it again?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Why, everybody seemed to like it, Mr.
Ritter, from what the papers said.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What kind of a show is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Why, I think it’s a tragedy, from what I
gather.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Did you see it, Jenny?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> No, sir, <i>I</i> didn’t get to see it, I’m sorry to
say; but I heard everybody connected with it sayin’ it
was a <i>great success</i>. [<i>Ritter resumes his telegrams, then
looks at Jenny suddenly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> How did Mrs. Ritter get into it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Why, I think somebody died, Mr. Ritter,
if I’m not mistaken.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Shaking his head conclusively, and resuming
his telegram</i>] I assumed it was an extremity of
<i>some</i> kind.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>At the top of the stairs at the back</i>]
Fred Ritter! don’t tell me that’s you down there!
[<i>Jenny turns quickly and goes to the foot of the
stairs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> No, I’m still out in Chicago!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Is it, Jenny?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, mam, I was just comin’ to tell you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Starting down the stairs</i>] I <i>thought</i> I
heard his voice! [<i>Jenny laughs.</i>] I’ve been standing up
here for the last <i>five</i> minutes saying to myself, “Who
can that <i>be</i> that has a voice so much like Fred’s!”<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</SPAN></span>
[<i>Coming into the room from the hallway</i>] Why, Fred,
darling, what are you doing here! [<i>He has moved up
towards the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Laughing a little</i>] How is the old kid!
[<i>Kisses her</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> I thought you wouldn’t be back till the
first! [<i>Jenny passes along the hallway to the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why, that Cincinnati thing’s been postponed
till after Thanksgiving.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning away from him and stepping
out into the hallway again</i>] Well, why didn’t you wire
or something?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I was afraid of giving you a shock.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Oh, Jenny!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You’re such a frail little flower.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning back to him</i>] Now stop, Fred!
I’ve really lost a lot since you went away.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> How do you know? [<i>Jenny comes along
the hallway from the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Why, my dear, I can tell by my clothes.
[<i>She turns to Jenny.</i>] Jenny, will you get me a glass
of water, please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Starting out</i>] Yes, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You’re not going to faint, are you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning back to him again with a flip
of her hand at him</i>] No, I’m not.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Slipping his arm around her waist and
coming forward</i>] Any mail here for me?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Not a single thing, Fred; I sent everything<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</SPAN></span>
right on to Chicago as soon as it came: there
must be several letters there for you now.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Disengaging himself and taking her
hands and looking at her</i>] I’ll get them all right. How
have you been treating yourself while I’ve been away?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> All right; only I’m glad to see you back.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Kiss me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> The house seemed awfully lonesome.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Kiss me. [<i>She kisses him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Passing above him to the piano at the
right</i>] Crazy thing. [<i>He moves over to the little
table at the left, rummaging in his pocket for a cigar,
and Mrs. Ritter commences to rummage in a sewing-basket
on the piano. This basket is Mrs. Ritter at a
glance, all green and yellow satin, fraught with meaningless
bows and weird-looking knots. She undoubtedly
made it herself, and it must have taken her
months. But she’s a practical woman; at least she
thinks she is; and the sewing-basket helps in a way to
sustain the conviction. Poor Paula! As one looks at
her and listens to her he appreciates the fortune of the
circumstance that there is some sane and capable person
between her and the world; and as he more closely
observes the sewing-basket, he rejoices in the blessing
of the sane and capable person’s ability to spare her the
necessity of having to make her own clothes. Although,
as a matter of fact, she would look lovely in anything;
for Paula is pretty—charmingly so. And her hair is
marvelous. So gold—and satiny. She is wearing a</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</SPAN></span>
<i>dress now of lime-green silk with a standing collar
edged with black fur, and gold-colored slippers.</i>] Did
you have anything to eat, Fred?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, I ate on the train. What’s this
Jenny was saying? Something about a show you’re in?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Oh,—[<i>Looking at him</i>] did she tell you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I wondered what had happened to the
furniture when I came in.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Coming around and forward towards
the little table below the piano</i>] Yes, there’s a rehearsal
here tonight. We have it every Tuesday and
Thursday. Of course, it’s just to run over the lines,
because we’ve done it already at the Civic Club on the
fourteenth. And, my dear, it was perfectly marvelous.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What kind of a show is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Standing back of the table</i>] Oh, it’s just
a one-act play,—in one act, you know. And it was
really <i>quite</i> wonderful. [<i>She gives an inane laugh.</i>]
I had no idea. [<i>She touches her hair and turns towards
the back of the room again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> How did <i>you</i> happen to get into it? [<i>Jenny
comes along the hallway from the left carrying a
glass of water on a small tray.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning to him</i>] Well now, wait till I
tell you—[<i>She sees Jenny.</i>] Oh, thanks, Jenny. [<i>Jenny
starts out again.</i>] Jenny, will you go to the top of the
stairs and see if I left the lights burning in my room.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Turning and starting towards the foot of</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</SPAN></span>
<i>the stairs in the right hallway; and setting the tray on
the little stand as she goes</i>] Yes, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming forward holding the glass
of water</i>] I think I did. [<i>She sips.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>As she crosses the center-door</i>] Do you
want that suit-case taken up, Mr. Ritter? [<i>Mrs.
Ritter turns round to the right and watches Jenny.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, you can take it up if you will, Jenny,
thanks. [<i>Jenny lifts the suit-case from the partition-seat
and goes out and up the stairs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to Ritter</i>] You know, I
wrote you about poor Jimmy Sheppard—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, what was that, had he been sick?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why, not a day, my dear! that’s the
reason it was all so dreadful. Of course, he’d always
had more or less of a weak heart; but nothing to
threaten anything of that kind. And just three days
before the performance, mind you:—couldn’t happen
any other time. And <i>poor</i> Mrs. Sheppard playing one
of the <i>leading</i> parts. [<i>She turns to her left and goes
up to the center-door, where she looks out toward the
right hallway expectantly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Casually depositing the band from his
cigar on the tray at his left</i>] Did he <i>know</i> she was to
play one of the leading parts?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning at the center-door and
looking at him</i>] Who,—Mr. Sheppard?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming forward again</i>] Why, of<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</SPAN></span>
course he did—She’d just finished telling him when he
fell over. [<i>Ritter appears to be unduly occupied with
his cigar, and Mrs. Ritter takes advantage of the circumstance
to refresh herself with another sip from the
glass.</i>] My dear, poor Clara Sheppard is a <i>wreck</i>—You
want to write her a note, Fred, when you get time.
And he never spoke—not a solitary word. But, she
says—just as he was dying,—he gave her the funniest
look. Oh, she says—if she lives to be a thousand,
she’ll <i>never</i> forget the way he looked at her. [<i>She goes
up to the center-door and sets the glass down on the
tray.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Still busy with his cigar</i>] Had he ever
seen her act?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to him, thoughtfully</i>] <i>I</i>
don’t know,—whether he ever had or not. [<i>Jenny
comes down the stairs.</i>] Oh, yes he had, too! for I saw
him myself at the Century Drawing Rooms last Easter
Monday night, and she was in that play there that
night, you remember. [<i>She moves to the piano and
starts looking for something in the sewing-basket; he
moves to the mantelpiece, up at the left, apparently
looking for a match.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> No, I wasn’t there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Oh, weren’t you! I thought you were.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> No. [<i>He feels in his pockets.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> There are matches there on that little
table there, Fred. [<i>She indicates the table below the
mantelpiece.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Discovering some in his pocket</i>] I have
some here. [<i>He moves to the arm-chair at the left of
table and sits down.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>As Jenny passes along the hallway towards
the left</i>] Oh, Jenny!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, mam?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Jenny, will you ask Mrs. Brock if she’ll
make some of that drink that she made the last time?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> I think she ’as made it already, Mrs.
Ritter.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Well, will you see, Jenny, please?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Starting away</i>] Yes, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>To Ritter</i>] The folks liked it so much
the last time. [<i>She picks up her sewing-basket.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> All right, Mrs. Ritter. [<i>She disappears at
the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Stepping out into the hallway</i>] Oh, and,
Jenny!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Out at the left</i>] Yes, mam?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Tell her to put a little of that <i>gin</i> in it,
the way she did before.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> All right, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Tell her she’ll find some gin in the little
buffet in the big dining-room.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> She probably knows where it is.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Coming forward carrying her sewing-basket</i>]
Well, anyway, that’s how I happened to get
into it. [<i>She sits on the chair at the left of the small</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</SPAN></span>
<i>table below the piano.</i>] Mrs. Pampinelli called me up
the first thing in the morning, and she said—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Is she in it, too?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Looking up from the arrangement of a
couple of strips of lace which she has taken from the
sewing-basket</i>] Who? Mrs. Pampinelli?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> No, she doesn’t take any part; she’s just
in charge of everything.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> That suits her better.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Kind of directress, I suppose you’d call
her. [<i>He has some difficulty keeping his face straight.</i>]
Tells us where to go, you know, on the stage,—so we
won’t be running into each other. [<i>Ritter laughs.</i>] Really,
Fred, you have no idea how easy it is to run into
somebody on the stage. You’ve got to know where
you’re going every time you move. [<i>He laughs louder.</i>]
Why, what are you laughing at?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I was just thinking of a few of the things
I’ve heard Mrs. Pampinelli called.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Looking over at him reproachfully</i>] Oh—now,
that isn’t a bit nice of you, Fred Ritter. I
know you don’t like her.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I like her all right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> No, you do not, now, Fred,—so <i>don’t</i>
say you do.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I think she’s marvelous.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Well, she’s tremendously clever at this
stage business, I don’t care what you say. You just<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</SPAN></span>
ought to hear her talk about it sometime. Now, the
last rehearsal we had,—over at her house,—she spoke
on “Technique in Acting as Distinguished from
Method;” and you’ve no idea how interesting it was.
[<i>Ritter glances over at her as he deposits some ashes
from his cigar on the little table-tray.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You say you’ve given this show before?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Oh yes! We gave it on the fourteenth at
the Civic Club. And, my dear, that audience just
loved it. And you’d be surprised too, for it’s a terrifically
serious thing. In fact, in a way, it’s too serious—for
the general public—that’s the reason several
of the people who saw it suggested that, if we give
it again, we should give a dance right after it. [<i>She
looks closely at her needle and Ritter looks discreetly
at the end of his cigar.</i>] But, as Mrs. Pampinelli says,
it’s an absolute impossibility to give a dance at either
the Civic Club or the Century Drawing Rooms, so
that’s how we’re giving it this time down at Hutchy
Kutchy. [<i>Ritter looks over at her with a quizzical
squint.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Where?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Looking over at him</i>] Horticultural
Hall—there at Broad and Spruce, you know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, I know;—what did <i>you</i> call it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Hutchy Kutchy. [<i>She laughs inanely.</i>]
Mrs. Pampinelli always calls it that,—I suppose I’ve
gotten into the habit too, from hearing her. [<i>She gives</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</SPAN></span>
<i>another little laugh, then finishes with an amused
sigh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What’s the show for, a charity of some
kind?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to him suddenly, and
with a shade of practicality</i>] It’s for the Seamen’s Institute.
Kind of a refuge for them, you know, while
they’re in port; so the sailors won’t be wandering
around the streets getting into bad company. [<i>Ritter
disposes of more ashes, with an unusual precision, and
Mrs. Ritter resumes her sewing. Then, suddenly, she
glances toward the casement-window at the right.</i>] It
was Mrs. Pampinelli’s idea, [<i>She gathers her things
into the sewing-basket and gets up, swinging round to
her left and talking as she goes.</i>] so of course she <i>didn’t</i>
want anything to happen. [<i>She sets the sewing-basket
down on the piano, and, with another glance thru the
window at the right, crosses to the little table at the
left where Ritter is sitting.</i>] So she called me up the
first thing in the morning, and she said, “Paula darling,
<i>have</i> you heard the news?” So, of course, I said
“No;” because up to that time I <i>hadn’t</i>, and, naturally,
I <i>wasn’t</i> going to say that I had.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Certainly <i>not</i>.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> “Well,” she said, “<i>poor</i> Jimmy Sheppard
has <i>just</i> passed on.” Well, luckily, I was sitting down
at the time, or I <i>positively</i> think I should have passed
on myself.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Raising his hand from the table as</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</SPAN></span>
<i>though distressed by the extremity of her remarks</i>]
Don’t say such things.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Mistaking his attitude</i>] No, really,
Fred, you’ve no idea the <i>feeling</i> that came over me
when she said that. “Well,” I said, “Betty, what on
earth are we going to do!” Because the tickets were all
sold, you know. “Well,” she said, “Paula,—the only
thing <i>I</i> see to do, is to have <i>you</i> step right into Clara
Sheppard’s role.” “Me!” I said. “Yes,” she said;
“you are the only person in <i>my</i> opinion who is qualified
to play the part.” “But, my dear,” I said, “I’ve never
stepped on a stage in my <i>life</i>!” “That is absolutely
inconsequential,” she said, “it is entirely a matter of
dramatic instinct. And,” she said, [<i>She simpers a bit
here and moves around from the right of the little
table where she has been standing to the back of her
husband’s chair, at the left of the table.</i>] “<i>you</i> have
<i>that</i>—to a far greater degree than you’ve <i>any</i> idea of.”
[<i>He makes a sound of dry amusement.</i>] No, really,
Fred, everyone was saying it was a positive tragedy
that you couldn’t have been there to see me—I never
forgot myself once. [<i>She rests her hand on his left
shoulder, and he reaches up and takes her hand.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What are you going to do now, become
an actress?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> No, but it surprised me so, the way everybody
enthused; because I didn’t think I’d done anything
so extraordinary—I just walked onto the stage,
and said what I’d been told to say, and walked off<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</SPAN></span>
again. [<i>She emphasizes this last phrase by an indefinite
gesture of nonchalance in the direction of the door
at her left.</i>] And yet everybody seemed to think it was
wonderful. Why, Nelly Fell said she’d never seen
even a <i>professional actress</i> so absolutely unconscious.
[<i>He makes a sound of amusement.</i>] Really, Fred, you
ought to have heard them. Why, they said if they
didn’t know, they never in the <i>world</i> would have believed
that it was my first offense.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You mustn’t believe everything these
women tell you; they’ll tell you anything to get their
names in the paper.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Well, it wasn’t only they that said it;—people
that I didn’t even <i>know</i> said it. Why, Mrs.
Pampinelli had a letter from a woman away out at
Glenside that happened to see the performance, and
she said that, at times, my repose was <i>positively</i> uncanny.
And the papers simply raved; especially “The
Evening Breeze.” I have it upstairs, I must show it to
you. It said that it didn’t understand <i>how</i> I had escaped
the public eye so long. [<i>She glances at the
cuckoo-clock over the door at the left, and, in doing
so, notices a book that has been left lying on the chair
below the door: she steps over and picks it up.</i>] I was
awfully sorry you couldn’t have been there, Fred. I
was going to write you about it when Mrs. Pampinelli
first spoke to me about going on, but there was so little
time, you see. And then, I didn’t think you’d
mind;—especially on account of its being for charity.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</SPAN></span>
[<i>He is very carefully putting ashes on the little tray.
She stands holding the book, looking at him. And
there is a slight pause.</i>] You <i>don’t</i> mind my going on,
do you, Fred?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Rather slowly</i>] No,—I don’t mind, if
you’re able to get away with it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Trailing across back of his chair</i>] I
didn’t think you would.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Raising his hand from the table quietly</i>]
But a—[<i>She comes to a stop and regards him over her
left shoulder.</i>] I don’t want any of these women exploiting
you for their own vanity. [<i>She doesn’t quite
encompass his meaning, and stands looking at him for
a second. Then she abstractedly lays the book down
on the table beside him. There is a very definite ring
at the front door-bell.</i>] I guess that’s some of the people.
[<i>She starts towards the hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Preparing to rise</i>] Where do you do this
thing, here?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning to him and indicating the general
arrangement</i>] Yes—just the way we have it fixed.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Rising briskly and crossing to the table below
the piano at the right, while Mrs. R. continues to
the center-door and stands looking toward the front
door. Jenny appears in the left hallway.</i>] I think I’ll
beat it upstairs.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning to Jenny</i>] I guess that’s some of
the people, Jenny. [<i>She comes forward towards Ritter
again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, mam. [<i>She passes back of Mrs. Ritter
and along out into the right hallway to answer the
door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Won’t you wait and see the rehearsal,
Fred? [<i>He is gathering up the telegrams from the
table, where he left them earlier.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning and going up towards the center-door,
thrusting the telegrams into his inside pocket</i>]
No, I think I’d rather wait and see the show. [<i>He
passes her, to her left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning and trailing up towards the center-door
after him</i>] It’s really <i>very</i> interesting.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Out at the front door</i>] You
see how considerate I am of you, Jenny, letting myself
in? [<i>Mr. and Mrs. Ritter stop in the center-door and
look toward the front door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>At the front door</i>] Oh, that’s all right,
Mrs. Pampinelli.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Turning quickly to Ritter at her left</i>]
You can’t go up now, Fred, she’ll see you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Ritter</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. P.</span> Well, I daresay you’ll have to open this
door quite often enough tonight without my troubling
you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming back into the room with a slight
gesture of annoyance</i>] I don’t want to have to listen
to her gab. [<i>He goes over to the mantelpiece at the
left and takes up his position there, while Mrs. Ritter,</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</SPAN></span>
<i>with a movement to him to be silent, drifts down beside
the piano at the right.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming into view from the
right hallway</i>] Well, I suppose I’m still the shining
example of punctuality. [<i>She sweeps thru the center-door,
carrying a large black-bear muff, a fan of black
ostrich-plumes, and a note-book and pencil.</i>] How do
you do, Mr. Ritter,—[<i>She goes towards Mrs. Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Nodding</i>] How do you do.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I’m glad to see you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Moving towards Mrs. P.</i>] Hello,
Betty.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Hello, Paula child,—[<i>Kisses
her</i>] how are you, dear? [<i>Mr. Spindler hurries in
from the right hallway, carrying several books. Mrs.
P. steps to the table below the piano.</i>] Will you give
those things to Mrs. Ritter, Mr. Spindler, she’ll set
them down somewhere. [<i>She sets her own encumbrances
down on the table, and Mrs. Ritter passes back
of her to Spindler.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Standing in the middle of the room, toward
the back</i>] Certainly, certainly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Good evening, Mr. Spindler.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Good evening, good evening. [<i>Jenny
comes in from the right hallway, takes the tray and
glass from the hall table, and goes out the left hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I’ll just take these.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Giving her the books and a manuscript</i>]
If you please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Crossing directly to Ritter</i>]
Florence McCrickett told me you were back; she saw
you getting into a taxicab at the station. [<i>Giving him
her hand</i>] I’m glad to see you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I just got in.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And I suppose you’ve already
heard about the great event?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, she’s just been telling me. [<i>They
laugh together.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, my dear, you may count
that day lost that you missed it. [<i>She half turns to
Mrs. Ritter, who is engaged in conversation with
Spindler.</i>] Mayn’t he, Paula? [<i>But Paula hasn’t heard
what she’s been saying, so she just looks at her and
gives an inane little laugh. Mrs. Pampinelli continues
to Ritter.</i>] Although you’ll have an opportunity tomorrow
night; unless you’re going to run away again
before that.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> No, I’ll be here now till after Thanksgiving.
[<i>Mrs. Ritter leaves Spindler and goes over to
a small table at the extreme right, below the casement-window,
where she sets the books and manuscript
down.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning from Ritter and crossing
back again to the table at the right below the piano</i>]
Wonderful! Did you hear that, Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> What is it, dear?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Ritter says he will be here
for the performance tomorrow night.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Unfastening her fur neckpiece</i>]
So you will have an opportunity after all of revealing
to him what gems of talent the unfathomed caves of
matrimony bear. [<i>They both laugh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Picking up Mrs. Pampinelli’s muff from
the table and taking the neckpiece</i>] I’ll just take these,
Betty.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Settling her beads</i>] Anywhere
at all, dear. [<i>Mrs. R. starts to the right.</i>] Oh, and
by the way, Paula—[<i>Mrs. Ritter stops and turns to
her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Indicating the books on the
table below the window</i>] There’s a remarkable article
in one of those books I brought, on a—gesture.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Looking at the books</i>] Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> The little gray book I think it
is, if I’m not mistaken. [<i>She turns to her left and
acknowledges Mr. Spindler with a touch of state.</i>] Mr.
Spindler—[<i>He returns a smiling and very snappy
little bow.</i>] brought it to my attention,—[<i>She turns
back again to Paula, who has gone up at the right of
the piano and is putting the furs on the partition-seat,
while Spindler, becoming suddenly conscious that Ritter
is looking at him, stiffens abruptly, glances at Ritter,
and turns back again to Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>] and it<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</SPAN></span>
really is remarkable. So many of my own ideas—things
that I have been advocating for years. I brought
it especially for <i>you</i>, Paula,—so you must read it when
you have time. [<i>She picks up her lead-pencil from the
little table and, tapping it against her right temple,
thinks profoundly.</i>] What is that wonderful line of
Emerson’s that I’m so fond of—something about our
unexpressed thoughts coming back to accuse us—[<i>Turning
to Spindler</i>] You know all those things, Mr. Spindler.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Pedantically</i>] Coming back to us “with
an alienated majesty.”</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That is the one I mean. [<i>She
turns back again to Paula, who has, by this time, come
forward again at the right of the piano, while Mr.
Spindler, again becoming conscious that Ritter is looking
at him, gives him another glance, this time with a
shade of resentment in it, and, coughing briefly, as an
emphasis of his dignity, which Ritter’s general attitude
somehow suggests is not being sufficiently esteemed,
turns back to Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>] Well, that is
exactly what occurred to me when I read that
article—My own thoughts returning to me from
an alienated majesty. [<i>She finishes her version
of the quotation to Spindler and Mr. Ritter.</i>] Oh,
by the way,—[<i>She gives a little mirthless laugh.</i>]
I’m afraid I’ve neglected to introduce Mr.
Spindler [<i>Indicating Ritter with a very casual gesture
of her left hand, and picking up her lead-pencil from</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</SPAN></span>
<i>the little table</i>] This is Mrs. Ritter’s husband, Mr.
Spindler. [<i>Spindler strides towards Ritter and extends
his hand with that vigor which usually characterizes
the greetings of unimportant persons.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Glad!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Tonelessly</i>] How are you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Addressing Ritter directly</i>] Mr.
Spindler is a young man who has made quite an exhaustive
study of the Little Theatre Movement
throughout the country; [<i>Spindler moves back towards
his former position, and Paula, over at the right, takes
a piece of fudge from a box on the little table below
the casement-window.</i>] and is working very hard to
bring about something of the same kind here. [<i>Ritter
inclines his head, and Spindler listens to Mrs. Pampinelli,
wreathed in smiles.</i>] And is going to succeed,
too, aren’t you, Mr. Spindler?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>With a kind of pert assurance</i>] Never
fell down on a big job yet. [<i>He gives a self-conscious
little laugh and glances at Ritter, under whose coldly-appraising
eye the laugh freezes instantly into a short,
hollow cough. Then he turns away.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I’m sure he has all the qualifications.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>With a wooden smile, and saluting</i>]
Thank you, thank you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Hasn’t he, Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Nibbling at the fudge</i>] Yes indeed,
Mr. Spindler’s quite indispensable. [<i>Spindler</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</SPAN></span>
<i>gives her a pert little nod, by way of acknowledgment.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Ritter</i>] I think that’s
what I shall have to call him hereafter,—[<i>Turning to
Spindler</i>] the indispensable Mr. Spindler. [<i>They all
laugh,—a trifle more than the brilliancy of the remark
should reasonably occasion, and Mr. Spindler accounts
it even worthy a salute.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Bouquets were falling [<i>Here the front
door-bell gives two sharp little staccato rings.</i>] thick
and fast. [<i>He starts towards the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, it’s true—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Speaking directly to Mrs. Ritter</i>] I’ll
answer it. [<i>He hurries out into the right hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. P.</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span>, speaking together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. P.</span> I know I don’t know what on earth I
should do without him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Addressing Spindler as he hurries out
the hallway</i>] All right, if you will, Mr. Spindler.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Calling back</i>] Sure!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> He is one of those rare persons
who never forsakes one in the hour of quotation.
[<i>She turns to Mrs. Ritter, who is chewing fudge at
her right.</i>] What are you eating, Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> A bit of fudge. Would you like
some, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Very definitely</i>] No, thank
you, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Indicating the table below the
casement-window</i>] There’s some here.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Raising her hand in a gesture
of finality, and speaking with conviction</i>] I never eat
immediately before using my voice. And you should
not, either, Paula,—particularly candy. [<i>She moves
across to the left to Mr. Ritter. She is an imposing
woman, in her late fifties, with a wealth of false hair,
perfectly done, and a martial bearing. She is one of
those matrons who is frequently referred to in the
suburban weeklies as a “leading spirit”; and this particular
description has always so flattered Mrs. Pampinelli’s
particular vanity, that she overlooks no opportunity
of justifying it: an effort that has resulted in a
certain grandeur of voice and manner; which, rather
fortunately, becomes the distinction of her person. She
is gowned in sapphire-blue velvet, close-fitting, with
an independent, triangular train, from the waist, probably
four yards long. Her necklace, comb, the buckles
on her black-velvet slippers, and her rings, are all
touched with sapphire.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking vaguely at the fudge-box</i>]
There’s so much of it here. [<i>Jenny appears from
the left hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. P.</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span>, speaking together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. P.</span> [<i>Coming to Ritter’s right</i>] Very tragic
about poor Sheppard, wasn’t it, Mr. Ritter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. R.</span> [<i>Going up to the center-door, and speaking
to Jenny as she goes</i>] Mr. Spindler is answering
the door, Jenny, you needn’t bother.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter</span> and <span class="smcap">Jenny</span>, speaking together.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</SPAN></span></p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] Yes, it <i>was</i>—too
bad.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Ritter</i>] Oh, all right, then.
[<i>She withdraws, and Mrs. Ritter stands looking out
into the right hallway.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I suppose Paula wrote you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Dear me—I don’t know when
anything has so upset me. [<i>Ritter stands looking at
the end of his cigar and Mrs. Pampinelli looks straight
ahead.</i>] I don’t believe I closed an eye the entire night,—wondering
where on earth I should find someone to
play his wife’s part. [<i>Ritter glances at her, as he
places the cigar in his mouth, and Mrs. Pampinelli
looks at him quickly.</i>] Because, of course, you know
that Mrs. Sheppard was to have played the part that
Paula plays.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, so she told me. [<i>Mrs. Ritter, still
nibbling at the fudge, wanders down and stands in the
middle of the room.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> But we only had three days
to get someone; and it didn’t seem possible to me that
anyone could memorize that part in that length of
time. [<i>Mrs. Ritter touches her hair and makes a little
sound of amusement,—a kind of modest acknowledgment
of the brilliancy of her achievement.</i>] So I
thought at first—of having Clara Sheppard go on anyway,
and I should make an announcement; but, you
see, Mr. Sheppard was buried on the fourteenth, and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</SPAN></span>
that was the night of the performance; and as I
thought the matter over, it seemed to me that perhaps
it was just a little too much to expect of her—[<i>Ritter
gives her another glance.</i>] Considering her experience
as an actress, I mean.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Taking the cigar from his mouth and
speaking with a shade of deliberation</i>] Couldn’t she
have kept his death a secret,—until after the performance?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, I thought of that, too;
[<i>Ritter looks at her steadily.</i>] but, you see, it was three
days,—[<i>He nods, understandingly.</i>] and he was so very
well known. [<i>She moves back across the room towards
the table below the piano, and Ritter stands
looking after her. Simultaneously, there is a frantic
giggle from the right hallway. Mrs. Ritter goes up
to the center-door, looks in the direction of the laughter,
and waves her handkerchief, while Mrs. Pampinelli,
passing below the table, gathers up her note-book
and pencil and continues to the table below the casement-window,
where she secures the manuscript. Ritter
steps forward from his position before the mantelpiece,
and disposes of some ashes on the little table-tray.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Out in the right hallway</i>] Paula,
that’s a very dangerous young man you have on that
door tonight.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Calling to her</i>] I think it’s very
kind of Mr. Spindler. [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli comes around</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</SPAN></span>
<i>in front of the big arm-chair below the casement-window.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Coming into view, with considerable
flourish</i>] Kind! My dear, I haven’t heard anything
like it since I was twenty! [<i>She gives a little wave of
her gorgeous, single white ostrich-plume fan at Mrs.
Pampinelli.</i>] Hello, Betty! [<i>Then to Mrs. Ritter</i>]
How are you, darling?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Hello, Nelly. [<i>Nelly kisses her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Enthroning herself in the
arm-chair at the right</i>] Is it <i>really</i> possible!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning from Mrs. Ritter and hurrying
through the center-door</i>] You’re a sweet child!
[<i>Extending the fan towards Mrs. Pampinelli, and
coming quickly forward to the table at the right below
the piano</i>] Yes, and I should have been here every
night at this hour if it weren’t for that dreadful officer
up at the parkway! [<i>She sets her fan and black-velvet
bag on the table. Spindler comes in from the right
hallway and engages in conversation with Mrs. Ritter
in the centre-door.</i>] He seems to take a fiendish delight
in selecting <i>my</i> car, of all the <i>millions</i> that pass there
at this hour, to do <i>this</i>! [<i>She extends her right arm
and hand, after the fashion of traffic-officers.</i>] So I
told him yesterday afternoon, I said, “Look here,
young man!” [<i>She points her forefinger as though reproving
the officer.</i>] “You needn’t expect any Christmas-present
from <i>me</i> next Christmas, for you just—won’t—get
it. Not till you change your tactics.” So<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</SPAN></span>
he says, after this, he’s just going to let me go ahead
and run into a trolley-car;—see how I like that. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli, making marginal notes in the manuscript,
laughs faintly.</i>] “Well,” I said, “it’d be a change, anyway,—from
being stopped all the time.” [<i>She abstractedly
picks up her fan again.</i>] I don’t think he
likes my chauffeur. And I don’t blame him; I don’t
like him myself. He drives too slow—[<i>She starts for
the center-door.</i>] He’s like an old woman. [<i>She sees
Ritter, peering at her, and starts abruptly.</i>] Well, for
Mercy’s sake, Frederick Ritter, you don’t mean to tell
me that’s you!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I was here a minute ago.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Laughing flightily</i>] Well, I declare!
I don’t know what’s happening to my eyes! [<i>Turning
to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] I saw him standing there, [<i>Turning
back again and starting towards Ritter, with her
hand extended</i>] but I thought it was one of the other
gentlemen! How are you, dear boy? [<i>He takes her
hand and stoops over as though to kiss her. She turns
her head away quickly.</i>] Stop it! Frederick Ritter!
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli glances over, then resumes her notes.
Mrs. Fell half-turns to Mrs. Ritter, who is still talking
to Mr. Spindler up at the center-door.</i>] Paula!—do
you see what this bad boy of yours is doing?
[<i>Paula just looks and laughs meaninglessly, and resumes
her conversation with Spindler.</i>] What brought
you back so soon?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Assuming the attitude and tone of a
lover</i>] I got thinking of you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Touching her hair</i>] I thought you
were out in Seattle or South Carolina or one of those
funny places.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Leaning a bit closer and speaking more
softly</i>] I couldn’t keep away from you any longer.
[<i>Nelly darts a swift glance at him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Starting towards the right</i>] Don’t
play with fire, Frederick—[<i>He laughs hard. She
pauses in the middle of the room and turns and looks
at him.</i>] You know what they say about widows, and
I’ve been all kinds. [<i>She continues over towards Mrs.
Pampinelli.</i>] Oh, Professor Pampinelli! [<i>Turning and
addressing Ritter directly</i>] I call her Professor, she
knows so much. [<i>Turning back to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
Mrs. P.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Looking up suddenly</i>] I beg
your pardon, Nelly dear—I didn’t know you were
speaking to me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I want to know if you can take me
home in your car tonight?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Why, certainly, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> My chauffeur has been deviling me
for the past two days about some boxing-bee,—or
wrestling-match or something that he wants to see;
and I told him he could go if there were someone
here to take me home.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I can take you, of course.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> All right, then, I can chase him;
[<i>She turns to the left.</i>] I won’t hear any more about
that. Oh, Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Yes, mam? [<i>Excuses himself to Mrs.
Ritter, who steps into the left hallway and beckons
with her finger for Jenny.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Would you mind doing a favor for a
very old lady?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Who has hurried forward and is
standing in the middle of the room, at attention.</i>] You
know what I told you out at the door? [<i>Nelly gives a
shriek, and giggles.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Looking coyly over Spindler’s shoulder
at Ritter</i>] Oh, you hear that, Frederick Ritter?
You have a rival on the premises. Mr. Spindler told
me out at the door tonight,—that <i>my</i> will was <i>his</i>
pleasure.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking at the tip of his cigar</i>] San
Juan is never dead while Mr. Spindler lives. [<i>There
is a general laugh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Turning to Ritter</i>] Say, that’s pretty
good!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Yes, I was afraid he was something
of a gay deceiver.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Speaking directly to Mrs. Fell</i>] Only
one way to find out. [<i>Mrs. Fell laughs deprecatingly
and sweeps the tip of her fan across his nose.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Naughty boy. [<i>She giggles a little
more, then becomes practical.</i>] Well then, I’ll tell you<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</SPAN></span>
what you may do for me, Mr. Spindler, if you don’t
mind. [<i>Jenny appears in the left hallway and Mrs.
Ritter gives her an order of some sort, which appears
to require a bit of explanation.</i>] Go out to my chauffeur,
[<i>She turns him round by the shoulder and they
move up towards the center-door.</i>] you’ll probably find
him asleep in the car, and tell him I said it’s all right,—he
can go along—that Mrs. Pampinelli will take
me home in <i>her</i> car.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Hurrying out the right hallway</i>]
Righto! [<i>Jenny withdraws.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Standing in the center-door and calling
after him</i>] Like a good boy. [<i>She turns, to find
Mrs. Ritter at her left in the center-door. She takes
her arm and they come forward.</i>] Come in here, Paula
Ritter, and explain to me <i>why</i> [<i>They stop in the middle
of the room, just above the line on which Ritter is
standing.</i>] you didn’t tell me my—lover [<i>She peers
around in front of Paula’s shoulder at Ritter.</i>] was
coming back today?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Laughing faintly</i>] My dear, I
didn’t know it myself until twenty minutes ago.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Becoming instantly rigid, and piercing
Mrs. Ritter with a look</i>] You don’t mean to tell
me he returned unexpectedly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> He never even sent a wire.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Moving over to the right, to the
little table below the piano</i>] I’m surprised at you,
Frederick. I consider that the supreme indiscretion<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</SPAN></span>
in a husband—[<i>She lays her fan down on the table.</i>]
to return unexpectedly. Isn’t it, Paula? [<i>She commences
to unfasten her cloak.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Moving over to help her</i>] I never
got such a surprise in my life.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> It has probably wrecked more perfectly
good homes than any other one thing in the
calendar. [<i>She slips her cloak off her shoulders, and
Mrs. Ritter, who has passed back of her, takes it. It
is a flowing affair in black and silver, with voluminous
kimona sleeves edged with black fur, and a deep circular
collar of silver-cloth and fur.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I love your cape, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Settling her ornaments</i>] Do you
really?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Examining it</i>] Beautiful.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Reaching for it</i>] Let me see
it, Paula.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Handing it to her</i>] Where’s your
seal, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I thought I wouldn’t take it out
this winter; I got so tired looking at it last year. I
want to have that collar and cuffs taken off, anyway,
before I wear it again;—there’s too much skunk there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> This is perfectly gorgeous,
dear. [<i>To Mrs. Ritter</i>] Isn’t it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Picking up Nelly’s fan from the
table</i>] Lovely. And isn’t this sweet? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</SPAN></span>
<i>takes the fan from Mrs. Ritter and returns the
wrap.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Charming.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I’m so glad you like it;—I was afraid
at first perhaps it might make me look a little too much
like a bride.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>With mock derision</i>] Ha! [<i>Nelly snaps
her head toward him and pins him with a narrow
glare.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Don’t be peevish, Frederick—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli, as she takes
the fan from her and replaces it on the table</i>] Isn’t he
terrible!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> It isn’t my fault that your wife is a
great actress. [<i>She gives a comic nod and wink at Mrs.
Ritter. Ritter laughs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Starting towards the door up
above the casement-window, at the right, with Mrs.
Fell’s cape</i>] Now, Fred Ritter, you just stop that!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Never mind him, Paula—[<i>Paula
goes out with the cape.</i>] He’ll probably change
his tune after tomorrow night. [<i>Mrs. Fell picks
up her fan and commences to fan herself.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Standing over above the table at the left,
smoking</i>] I’m thinking of what happened to poor
Jimmy Sheppard. [<i>Jenny comes in at the left hallway,
carrying a small punch-bowl filled with claret, which
she sets down carefully on the little stand in the hallway.
Mrs. Ritter re-enters from the door on the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</SPAN></span>
<i>right and crosses over to Jenny, whom she assists.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Strolling across towards Ritter, fanning
herself</i>] Oh, I suppose it must be very difficult
for the marvelous male, to suddenly find himself
obliged to bask in the reflected glory of a mere wife.
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli laughs, over her notes.</i>] For I’ve
never known one yet who was able to do it gracefully.
[<i>She flips the tip of the fan at Ritter’s nose. Mrs.
Ritter gives Jenny a direction of some kind and Jenny
goes out again at the left hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>As Mrs. Fell saunters back
again across the room</i>] Well, perhaps Mr. Ritter will
show himself consistently <i>masculine</i> in this instance,
and do the exceptional thing. [<i>Mrs. Ritter follows
Jenny out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I suppose that’s what you’d call <i>veiled</i>
sarcasm, isn’t it? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli laughs and rises.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Standing in the middle of the room</i>]
I shouldn’t say it was veiled at <i>all</i>. [<i>Moving towards
the table below the piano</i>] I don’t think it’s even
<i>draped</i>.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Laughing still, and coming
to the little table</i>] Here’s the manuscript, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Stepping closer to the table</i>] Yes,
dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What are you going to do now, keep <i>on</i>
giving this show?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, not this particular one,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</SPAN></span>
Mr. Ritter, no; but we are going to continue giving
shows.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What’s the idea?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> They’re to be for different charities.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And then they will afford the
boys and girls an opportunity of developing themselves
as artists.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What are they going to do, all go on the
stage?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, hardly all of them will
go;—but those that we feel have sufficient talent we
will encourage to go on, by all means.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Do you think Mrs. Ritter has sufficient
talent?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> She’s wonderful, Fred, really.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, I should say that Paula
had a very remarkable talent.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Well, what will you do about <i>her</i>?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> How do you mean, Mr. Ritter,
what will we <i>do</i> about her?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why, I mean,—you’d hardly encourage
<i>her</i> to go on the stage, would you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And why not?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why, what about her home? [<i>Nelly Fell
touches her hair and gives Mrs. Pampinelli a look of
amused impatience.</i>] She couldn’t very well walk
away and leave that, could she?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, personally, Mr. Ritter,
I have always felt that, where it is a question of talent,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</SPAN></span>
one should not allow himself to be deterred by purely
personal considerations.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> She’s really awfully good, Fred! You
wait till you see—You’ll want her to go yourself.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Stepping quietly to the table at the left
and disposing of some cigar-ashes</i>] She’ll have to be
pretty good.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Won’t he, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, as far as that is concerned,
I think that the question of whether to be or
or not to be an actress, is one that every woman must,
at some time or other in her life, decide for herself.
[<i>Spindler hurries in from the right hallway and down
to Mrs. Fell’s left, where he stands at attention, saluting,
of course, as usual. Mr. Spindler is full of salutes.
He was in the army;—drafted ten weeks before
the armistice; and subjected throughout the long
term of his service to the dangers and exposure of a
clerkship in the Personnel at Upton. And he’s never
gotten over it; being of that immature type of mind
upon which the letter of the Military makes a profound
impression. He’s a peppy person, thin and stilted,—in
dinner clothes,—with sleek hair and goggle
glasses: one of that distressing student-order that is
inevitably to be found in the retinue of some Mrs.
Pampinelli,—her social status and constant championship
of so-called artistic movements affording him a
legitimate indulgence of his particular weaknesses. So
he becomes a kind of lead-pencil-bearer extraordinary</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</SPAN></span>
<i>to her ladyship; and her ladyship tolerates him,—for
a variety of reasons; not the least of which is his unfailing
attitude of acquiescence in all her opinions. And
she has so many opinions,—and on so many different
subjects, that this feature of Mr. Spindler’s disposition
is far from inconsiderable. Then, he has a most highly
developed faculty for small correctnesses,—an especially
valuable asset, in view of the enormous
amount of detail work incidental to Mrs. Pampinelli’s
vast activities. He reminds her of things, or, “brings
them to her attention,” as she puts it. For Mr. Spindler
is one of those—fortunately few—people who remembers
things—word for word—even the things he’s
read—And he appears to have read most everything.
And he quotes incessantly. As Mrs. Pampinelli has
already observed of him, “he is one of those rare persons
who never forsakes one in the hour of quotation.”</i>]
Look here, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Yes, dear. [<i>Mrs. Ritter comes in
from the left hallway carrying several punch-glasses,
which she puts down on the hallway table.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Indicating a certain line in
the manuscript with her lead-pencil</i>] There are a
couple of little changes here on page twelve—[<i>Mrs.
Fell opens her lorgnon and looks at the manuscript.</i>]
I have them marked.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Becoming conscious of Spindler at
her left</i>] Pardon me, Betty. [<i>Turning to Spindler</i>]
Did you tell him, Mr. Spindler?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Yes, mam; he’s gone on his way rejoicing.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> You’re a sweet child.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Snapping his salute</i>] Thank you. [<i>He
does an about-face and goes up to Mrs. Ritter,—Ritter
watching him with an expression susceptible of infinite
interpretation.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> The only man I’ve met in a long time
that has made me wish I were—ten years younger.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Ha!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Pertly</i>] Outside of you, of course.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a touch of wearied
impatience</i>] Look here, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Stepping quickly to the table again
and re-adjusting her lorgnon</i>] Yes, I beg your pardon.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You see, in this line here,—the
author has employed a defective verb in the perfect
tense. [<i>Mrs. Fell looks suddenly at her and then
right back to the manuscript again. Ritter is watching
them closely.</i>] Would you come here for a moment,
Mr. Spindler?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Certainly, certainly. [<i>Excuses himself
to Mrs. Ritter, with whom he has been chatting, and
comes down briskly to Mrs. Fell’s left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> If you please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Appearing to have some difficulty
locating the defective verb</i>] Where is that, now, that
you were saying, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Indicating with the point of</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</SPAN></span>
<i>the pencil</i>] Right there, dear. [<i>Nelly just looks at the
spot, through her lorgnon.</i>] This is the point I was
speaking to you about last night, Mr. Spindler.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Securing his goggles</i>] Oh, yes, yes!
[<i>Ritter draws Mrs. Ritter’s attention to the group
down at the table. She reproves him with a steady
stare. He smiles and shakes his head hopelessly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You see, this author has employed
a defective here, in the perfect tense.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Looking closely</i>] Ah, yes, I see.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Looking at him directly</i>] So
I have changed it. [<i>He straightens up and looks at her,
and Mrs. Fell looks from one to the other.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> A very good change. [<i>He nods and
crosses over to the left, passing below the table at the
left. Ritter watches him until he takes up his position
just below the mantelpiece, rather ill at ease under
Ritter’s gaze.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I think so. So, if you’ll just
watch that Nelly. [<i>She picks up the manuscript.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> All right, I’ll watch it. [<i>She reaches
for her bag and takes out a lip-stick. Jenny appears
from the left hallway with a tray of cakes, which Mrs.
Ritter assists her in making room for on the hall table.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Starting for the center-door</i>]
I must show it to Paula, it’s her line. [<i>The door-bell
rings.</i>] Paula child. [<i>Jenny passes back of Mrs. Ritter
and goes out into the right hallway to answer the
door-bell.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Eating a cake</i>] Yes, dear? [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli calls her attention to the change in the
manuscript. Mrs. Fell is making up her lips down
at the table below the piano. Ritter is watching her,
and Spindler is watching Ritter, and trying to assume
his general deportment.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Are <i>you</i> in the show, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Without turning, and applying the
lip-stick, with the aid of the little mirror in her hand-bag</i>]
Who, me?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Half-turning, and giving him a
melting look</i>] Yes;—I play a chicken. [<i>She returns to
her mirror.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Casually</i>] In the last act, I suppose.
[<i>Nelly snaps her head around and pierces him with
one of her looks.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> No, and not in the last stages, either.
[<i>She resumes her make-up. Nelly is forever making
up. But, she does know how to do it. Of course, she
should, considering the years of her experience in the
art. For Nelly Fell’s age amounts to an achievement;
one of those attainments so absolutely undisputed that
it is perfectly permissible to refer to it in any gathering.
She says she’ll “soon be sixty”; but the short and
simple annals of society record flutterings of the lady
as far back as the first term of President Grant. And
she’s still fluttering—a perennial ingenue, full of brittle
moves and staccato vocalisms. She looks like a little</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</SPAN></span>
<i>French marquise, so chic, and twittery—and rich. For,
of course, Nelly is wealthy—enormously so; it would
be utterly impossible to have her hair and not have
money; the feature is financial in itself; so silver-white,
with a lovely bandau of small, pale-pink leaves, tipped
with diamond dewdrops; all heightened tremendously
by the creation in black velvet she is wearing. This
gown is heavily trimmed with silver, and quite sleeveless,
with two panels of the goods fastened at the waist
on either side and trailing at least a yard. She has a
preference for diamonds and pearls, obviously, for her
ear-rings, dog-collar, bracelets and rings are all of
those gems, and her long, triple-string necklace is of
pearls. Altogether, Nelly is a very gorgeous little old
lady—from the topmost ringlet of her aristocratic hair,
to the pearl buckles on her tiny black-velvet slippers.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Mrs. Fell is the official promptress.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning her head and looking at Ritter</i>]
I <i>prompt</i> everybody. [<i>She replaces her lip-stick
in the hand-bag.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Putting the hand-bag down again on
the table</i>] As well as lending my moral support.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes? [<i>Spindler laughs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Ritter</i>] You bold thing!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Coming into view from the right
hallway</i>] Good evening, everybody!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to him, from Mrs.
Ritter, with whom she has been discussing the change</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</SPAN></span>
<i>in the manuscript</i>] Oh, good evening, Mr. Hossefrosse.
[<i>They shake hands.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Mr. Hossefrosse. [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
comes forward into the room again, bringing the
manuscript with her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Mrs. Ritter—good evening. [<i>Mrs.
Ritter asks him if he will have a glass of claret and he
says yes, so she proceeds to fill him out one.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I hope the rest of the people
aren’t far behind you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Are we late?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Waving to him</i>] Hello, Huxley.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Not very.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Hello, Nelly. How are you? [<i>Mrs.
Ritter gives him the claret, and he stands up at the
center-door with her, drinking it. Teddy Spearing
wanders in from the right hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Passing below the little table
below the piano and laying the manuscript on it</i>]
Here’s the manuscript, Nelly. [<i>She continues to the
arm-chair below the casement-window, and, picking
up her note-book from the little table at her right,
sits down and commences to make notes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Seeing Teddy Spearing, and starting
towards the right partition</i>] Oh, Teddy Spearing!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Hello, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Beckoning him with her fan</i>] Come
here, dear, I’ve got something to tell you. [<i>Teddy
leans over the partition at the right and Nelly kneels</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</SPAN></span>
<i>on the partition-seat and whispers something to him.
Hossefrosse and Mrs. Ritter are conversing in the
center-door, Mrs. Pampinelli is making notes down at
the right, Ritter is standing over in front of the mantelpiece,
smoking, and Spindler is standing just below
him, to his left, watching him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>In a sudden surge of courage, and taking
a rather nonchalant step towards Ritter</i>] Could you
spare one of those cigars, please? [<i>Ritter looks at him
keenly, then reaches in his vest-pocket for a cigar.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Do you smoke?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Semi-occasionally, yes. [<i>Ritter hands
him the cigar and he steps nonchalantly back to his
former position, Ritter keeping one eye on him. He
examines the cigar curiously, and, being apparently
very near-sighted, seems to have considerable difficulty
in deciphering the band-inscription.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You can light <i>either</i> end of it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Very self-conscious</i>] Yes,—I was just
looking at this label here: it’s rather keen. [<i>He puts
the cigar in his mouth, and attempts an attitude of
careless detachment.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Have you got a match?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> I don’t—[<i>As he opens his mouth to
speak the cigar falls on the floor, and he scrambles
after it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Laughing incredulously and turning away
from Nelly</i>] Oh, Nelly!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Upon my word, dear! Come here<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</SPAN></span>
till I tell you. [<i>Teddy returns to the partition and
Nelly proceeds with her gossip.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Straightening up, and attempting another
man-of-the-world attitude</i>] I don’t care to
smoke just now, thank you. [<i>He holds the cigar in his
fingers.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>As things settle again</i>] You’ve been in the
army, haven’t you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Turning to Ritter with a suggestion of
military erectness</i>] Yes; I put in the better part of
three months down at Upton, in the Personnel.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I imagined from your salute you’d been
around one of the camps.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Yes,—I was Third Lieutenant down
there—[<i>Ritter looks at him sharply; then Spindler
turns and meets the look.</i>] Regimental Sergeant Major.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Rest.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Coming away from the partition</i>] So
I’m going to ask him right out the very next time
I meet him. [<i>She comes down to the little table below
the piano again. Mr. Hossefrosse comes through
the center-door towards Ritter, rubbing his hands, and
Teddy moves over towards Mrs. Ritter, who is still
officiating at the punch-bowl.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, speaking together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Speaking to Mrs. Fell</i>] Maybe he doesn’t
know it himself.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Addressing Ritter</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</SPAN></span>
Ah, Mr. Ritter! How do you do, sir? [<i>They shake
hands.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> How do you do?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Well, I’m going to find out, whether he does or not.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>To Ritter</i>] Decided there was no place
like home, eh? [<i>He laughs, with a mirthless effusiveness.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Are you in the show, too? [<i>Mrs. Ritter
fills out a glass of claret for Teddy.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I should say he is in it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> We’re all in it.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> He’s the leading man. [<i>Hossefrosse
raises his right hand toward Nelly and laughs deprecatingly.</i>]
Unfortunately, there isn’t a place in the
play where he can use that perfectly gorgeous singing-voice
of his. [<i>Hossefrosse is quite overcome, and
crosses, with hand extended, to Spindler.</i>] It’s true.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Good evening, Mr. Spindler.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Good evening, good evening. [<i>In shifting
the cigar from his right hand to his left he drops
it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Uh! I beg your pardon! [<i>Mrs. Ritter
laughs at something Teddy has said to her, then
hands him a glass of claret. Mr. Hossefrosse stoops
to pick up Spindler’s cigar.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Stooping also, after the cigar</i>] That’s
all right.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</SPAN></span></p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I’ll get it. [<i>He picks it up and hands it to
Spindler.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> It isn’t lit.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> There we are.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Thank you very much.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Don’t mention it. [<i>He crosses down
to Nelly, who is looking through the manuscript at the
table below the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Coming through the center-door and speaking
to Ritter</i>] How do you do, Mr. Ritter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Shaking hands with him</i>] How are you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Nodding to Spindler</i>] Good evening.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Good evening, sir; good evening.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Teddy!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Crossing towards the piano</i>] Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>,
together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Waving her handkerchief
toward the right hallway</i>] Hello, Florence!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Addressing Teddy</i>] Did you telephone
that man about those tickets?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Standing
at Mrs. Fell’s left shoulder</i>] What are you doing,
Nelly?</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Teddy</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Out in the right hallway</i>] Am I the last?
[<i>She hurries into view and whispers something to
Paula at the center-door which sends Paula into a fit
of laughing.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Hossefrosse</i>] Making
more changes. [<i>He crosses over to the right in front
of Nelly and sits on the piano-stool, back of Mrs.</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</SPAN></span>
<i>Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Answering Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
Yes, I did, Mrs. Pampinelli, he said he’d have them
there all right.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Thank you so much. [<i>Teddy
goes up and crosses above the piano, where he engages
Mr. Hossefrosse in conversation.</i>] Hello, Florence!
[<i>Jenny comes into view from the right hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Coming straight forward from the center-door</i>]
Am I the last? [<i>The front door-bell rings
again, and Jenny turns and goes back into the right
hallway again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, but you’re very close to it.
How are you, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Rushed like mad. [<i>Flipping her lynx
muff</i>] Hello, everybody. Hello, Nelly. [<i>She swings
round to her left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Hello, Flossie.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> How do you do, Mr. Spindler? [<i>Hossefrosse
gets up and whispers something to Mrs. Pampinelli,
in which she agrees.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> How do you do? [<i>Ritter bows very graciously
to Florence, and Mrs. Ritter comes forward to
her husband’s right, eating a piece of cake.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Extending the muff at arms-length at
Ritter</i>] No, I don’t speak to you at all. [<i>She removes
her stole.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Paula, did you know your husband is<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</SPAN></span>
becoming very snooty? [<i>Hossefrosse resumes his seat
on the piano-stool.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Sliding her hand through Ritter’s
right arm</i>] Why didn’t you speak to Florence at the
station today, Fred?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I didn’t see you today.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Well, my dear, you <i>must</i> be getting
old; for Irene Colter and I did everything but stand
on our heads to attract your attention. [<i>On the last
word of this sentence she flips one of the tails of the
stole at him, and he ducks, as though afraid of getting
hurt.</i>] Where shall I put these, Paula? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
rises quietly from her chair at the right, and,
lost in thought, proceeds slowly and majestically across
in front of Mrs. Fell to the middle of the room, tapping
her lead-pencil on the note-book.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I’ll take them. [<i>She takes the muff
and stole from Florence and goes up and out into the
right hallway with them.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Espying Teddy up back of the piano,
shading his eyes with his hand, as though trying to see
her from a great distance</i>] Hello, Teddy dear! [<i>Goes
towards him</i>] What are you doing away back here
in the corner? [<i>She makes a sudden move as though to
tickle him in the ribs, but he laughs and jumps away.
Mrs. Pampinelli has by this time reached the center of
the room, where she stands turning from side to side
in a profound indecision as to the relationship of certain
positions. She indicates her line of thought by divers</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</SPAN></span>
<i>pointings and flippings of the lead-pencil. Ritter
watches her with narrow amusement; and, presently,
Mrs. Fell, who is still occupied with the manuscript
at the little table, looks up, distracted by the gyrations
of the lead-pencil.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What’s the matter, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I was just wondering about a
little piece of business here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Stepping to the back of the arm-chair at
the left and leaning over it towards Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
Can I help you, Mrs. P.?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Without turning to him</i>] No,
thank you; it’s purely technical. [<i>He resumes his position
at the left corner of the mantelpiece and glances
at Ritter, who is obliged to use his handkerchief to
hide his amusement. Mrs. Ritter comes in through
the door at the right, above the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Betty, did I tell you I saw Clara
Sheppard today? [<i>But Mrs. Pampinelli is still deep
in technical profundities, and simply silences her with
a gesture of her right hand.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming forward at the right of the
piano</i>] Where did you see her, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Darlington’s, at the mourning counter.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming suddenly out of her
abstraction, and turning to Mrs. Fell</i>] Is she going in
black?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> My dear, she’s <i>in</i> it already.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Coming in the right hallway</i>] Good
evening!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> She’s very foolish, under the
circumstances.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> That’s just what I told her today.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Coming through the center-door and forward
at the left of the piano</i>] Good evening, Mrs. Ritter.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Good evening, Mr. Twiller.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>To Hossefrosse, casually</i>] Huxley.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Shifting from the piano-stool to the
arm-chair, which Mrs. Pampinelli has just vacated, and
proceeding to study his part, which he has taken from
his pocket</i>] Hello, Ralph.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Hello, Ralph.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Nelly!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Still in the middle of the room</i>]
You’re the ten o’clock scholar again tonight, Mr. Twiller.
[<i>Jenny crosses from the right hallway to the left,
and goes out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I’m awfully sorry, Mrs. P., really; but
the fates seem to be against me. [<i>Teddy gives a little
whistle at him. He turns and sees him, standing with
Florence, up back of the piano.</i>] Hello, Teddy! [<i>He
goes towards him, and Teddy shoots at him with his
thumb and forefinger, by way of reply. Florence smiles
and extends her left arm and hand towards him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Twiller</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs.
Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Moving over from the middle of the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</SPAN></span>
<i>room to the left of Mrs. Fell, who is still at the table
below the piano</i>] What was that you were saying,
Nelly, about Clara Sheppard?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Flossie,
dear, I didn’t see you two up here! [<i>He takes Florence’s
hand and kisses it. Then he crosses to the left
and shakes hands with Ritter; then over to Spindler,
and then starts back towards Florence, at the piano.
As he passes Ritter, Ritter taps him on the right shoulder;
he turns, and Ritter asks him something. He replies,
and they stand chatting for a moment; then Ritter
indicates the partition-seat behind them and they
sit down, to talk it over.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Why, I simply told her—I said, “Don’t
be spectacular, dear; it’ll only make it more difficult
for you when you want to marry again. And,” I
said, “you probably <i>will</i> marry again,”—[<i>Spindler sits
on the chair below the door at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Of course she will.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> “For you’re a comparatively young
woman. So,” I said, “just get through the next few
months as undramatically as possible. [<i>Jenny enters
in the left hallway and takes empty glasses off.</i>] I know
he was your <i>first</i> husband, and all that; but, after all,”
I said, “he was <i>only</i> your husband: it isn’t as though
you’d lost someone who was very <i>close</i> to you”—[<i>She
turns her head and speaks directly to Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]
Like one of your own people, [<i>Turning to Mrs. Ritter,
who is standing at her right</i>] or something like
that, I mean. “And,” I said, “another thing, darling,—<i>always</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</SPAN></span>
<i>remember</i>—he’d have very soon put another
in <i>your</i> place if it had been you.” [<i>She finishes the remark
to Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Knowingly, and with conviction</i>]
I should say he would.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Reaching for her hand-bag</i>] And I felt
like saying, “And I could give you the names and addresses
right now of <i>several</i> that he would have put in
your place <i>long ago</i>, only for the law.”</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a shade of confidence</i>]
She must have known it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Reflecting the tone</i>] Of <i>course</i>, she
knew it. [<i>Florence leaves Teddy, up at the piano, and
crosses to Ritter and Twiller, to show them a piece
of music. They rise, and she indicates a certain point
on the sheet; then she continues down to Spindler, who
rises at her approach, and shows it to him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> How is she, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> My dear, she looks a perfect wreck.
[<i>Florence sits on the arm of the arm-chair at the left
and Spindler resumes the little chair below the left
door, and drawing it a bit closer to the arm-chair. He
appears to be telling Florence something very interesting.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Poor soul.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> She says no one will <i>ever</i> know how she
feels—about losing that part. And she says she simply
cannot <i>wait</i> until tomorrow night, [<i>She turns to Mrs.
Pampinelli.</i>] to see Paula’s interpretation of it. [<i>Mrs.</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</SPAN></span>
<i>Ritter gives an inane little laugh, and Mrs. Fell turns
quickly to her.</i>] She’s heard so much about it. [<i>Jenny
comes in from the left hallway again with fresh glasses.
She sets them down on the hallway table and proceeds
to arrange them.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Is she coming to the performance
tomorrow night?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> She says she’ll see that performance, if
she has to disguise herself.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Doesn’t that sound just like her?
[<i>Nelly nods agreement.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes,—she’s so full of dramatic
instinct.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>With a touch of bitterness</i>] He never
appreciated it though.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> My dear, has <i>any</i> artist <i>ever</i>
been adequately appreciated?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I understand he was very heavily
insured.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, yes!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> She <i>seemed</i> very optimistic when
I spoke to her on the telephone.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I believe your husband’s company had
him insured for quite a lot, didn’t they, Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Lowering her tone</i>] I believe they
did, Nelly,—but I couldn’t say for just how much.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Quietly detaching herself</i>] I must find
that out. [<i>She passes back of Mrs. Pampinelli and
across towards Ritter. Mrs. Ritter and Mrs. Pampinelli</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</SPAN></span>
<i>continue in conversation.</i>] Frederick, I want to
ask you something. [<i>He steps forward, excusing himself
to Twiller.</i>] Pardon me, Ralph.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> That’s all right, Nelly. [<i>He crosses
again to Teddy.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Frederick, what did you think when
you heard Jimmy Sheppard was dead?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why, I thought he was dead, of course.
[<i>Mrs. Ritter leaves Mrs. Pampinelli, passing back of
her, and goes up to assist Jenny with her arrangements.
Mrs. Pampinelli busies herself with making notations
on the margin of the manuscript, at the little table.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Flipping the tip of her fan in his face</i>]
Oh, did you, Smarty! [<i>Ritter raises his right hand, as
though to ward off the blow.</i>] Well, listen, Frederick.
[<i>He attends, and she becomes confidential.</i>] He left
quite a bit of insurance, didn’t he?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes—about three hundred thousand, I believe.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Becoming generally stoney</i>] Is there a
will, do you know?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I don’t know; I suppose there is.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Well, I hope she was sharp enough to
see that there is. Because if there isn’t, you know,
she’s only entitled to a third in this state. That’s all
the widow’s entitled to. And, you know, Frederick,
Clara Sheppard could never in this world get along
on a bare hundred thousand dollars; you know that
as well as I do.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Well, she has quite a bit of money of her
own, hasn’t she?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, tons of it, yes; but there’s no sense
in using her own if she can use his. [<i>Ritter glances at
her, but she has turned away slightly to cough, behind
her fan. Jenny goes out at the left hallway.</i>] Was
sudden, wasn’t it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, it was.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> We were terribly inconvenienced. Because
I’d simply <i>deluged</i> my friends with tickets. [<i>Mrs.
Ritter is up at the punch-bowl, sampling the punch
and nibbling at the cakes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I can’t understand why you didn’t postpone
the show.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> That’s what <i>I</i> wanted to do; but Mrs.
P. here was superstitious.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Catching her name, and
straightening up from the manuscript, imperiously</i>]
What are you saying about Mrs. P., Nelly Fell?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Why, Frederick was wondering why
we didn’t postpone the performance when Jimmy
Sheppard died,—and <i>I</i> told him you were superstitious
about a postponement.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, Nelly, I was not superstitious,
so please don’t say that I was; I shouldn’t
care to have such an impression get abroad.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Touching her hair</i>] Well, you were
something, Betty.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, Nelly, I admit that I was<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</SPAN></span>
something,—but it was not superstitious. I was,—[<i>She
looks out and away off, and feels for the word.</i>]
intuitive. [<i>She turns her head and looks directly at
Ritter, who drops his eyes to the tip of his cigar. Nelly
Fell, following Mrs. Pampinelli’s eyes, looks at Ritter
also. Then everyone’s eyes shift to Mrs. Pampinelli.
Florence turns languidly and looks; and Mrs.
Ritter, with a glass of punch in one hand, and a small
cake in the other, moves forward, in the middle of the
room, and stands looking and listening—and chewing.
Hossefrosse steps over to the table behind which Mrs.
Pampinelli is standing, and takes the manuscript,—returning
with it to the arm-chair, and becoming absorbed
in a comparison of a certain page of it with his
individual part.</i>] I have struggled so long to inaugurate
a Little Theatre Movement in this community, that I
had intuitively anticipated the occurrence of some obstacle
to thwart me; so that, when the telephone-bell
rang, on the night of Mr. Sheppard’s death, I said
to myself, before I even took down the receiver, [<i>She
plants her lead-pencil on the table and assumes something
of the aspect of a crusader.</i>] “<i>This</i> is my event.
Something has happened—that is going to put my sincerity
in this movement to the test. And I must remember,
as Mr. Lincoln said at Gettysburg, ‘It is better that
we should perish, than that those ideals for which we
struggle should perish.’” [<i>She turns her gaze in the
direction of Ritter, but Mrs. Ritter is first in the line
of vision, with her eyes full of the coast of Greenland,</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</SPAN></span>
<i>and her mouth full of cake. As she becomes suddenly
conscious that Mrs. Pampinelli has stopped talking and
is looking directly at her, she meets the look and breaks
into an utterly irrelevant little laugh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> It’s a singular thing, but I’ve noticed that
invariably there’s a <i>fatality</i> connected with these amateur
performances.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Unfortunately, that is true,
Mr. Ritter, I agree with you. But then, we are not
dismayed; we have the lessons of history to fortify us;
for whenever the torch of essential culture has been
raised, [<i>She raises the lead-pencil as though it were a
torch.</i>] there has unfailingly been the concomitant exactment
of a human life. [<i>She stands holding the torch
aloft until the little cuckoo-clock over the door at the
left cuckoos the half-hour. Ritter looks at it, and
Nelly Fell gives it a glance. Florence, too, turns and
looks up. Then Mrs. Pampinelli turns her eyes slowly
upon it and withers it with a look.</i>] Well, children,
it’s eight-thirty,—[<i>She gathers up her train and tosses
it across her left arm, then comes around to the right in
front of the table where she has been standing. Mrs.
Ritter returns to the table in the hallway and sets down
her empty glass. Ritter goes up after her and she fills
him out a drink. Florence rises from the arm of the
chair, and, passing in front of the table at the left,
goes up and across back of the piano and out the door,
at the right. As she passes above the piano she says
something to Teddy, who has come down at the right</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</SPAN></span>
<i>of the piano, from his late position up near the door,
and is crossing below it. Twiller turns and goes out
through the center-door and stands leaning over the
partition in the right hallway. Hossefrosse rises, settles
his clothes and clears his throat. Mr. Spindler,
also, has risen, and is replacing his chair back against
the wall, below the door.</i>] Time we went “unto the
breach” once more.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Stepping forward a little to the center
of the room, and stretching her hand towards Mr.
Hossefrosse</i>] You have my props, Huxley.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Crossing below the table, to give her
the manuscript</i>] I beg your pardon, Nelly; I was just
looking at something here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Thanks. [<i>She pulls him towards her
and whispers something.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing at the left of the little
table</i>] Have you my other pencil, Mr. Spindler?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Hurrying across towards her</i>] I believe
you left it over here on this little table. [<i>He passes
below Teddy, who is just crossing to the left, and
continues on between the piano and the table to the
little table below the casement-window. Nelly Fell
breaks into a shrill giggle, pushes Hossefrosse towards
the center-door, and crosses to the left, passing below
the table. She is in a violent state of laughter. Hossefrosse
goes on up to the center-door, and, excusing himself
to Ritter, who is standing there drinking, passes
out into the right hallway. Teddy comes around back</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</SPAN></span>
<i>of the arm-chair at the left and sits in the arm-chair.
Mrs. Pampinelli has moved to the right of the table
below the piano, where she stands reviewing her notes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Teddy, confidentially, as she takes
up her position on the chair below the door at the
left</i>] I’ll tell you later. [<i>She sits down.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Tapping her lead-pencil on the
table and addressing them generally</i>] Now, folks,—[<i>Ritter
sets his glass on the table and steps into the
right hallway, where he converses with Twiller for a
second, then stands listening; while Mrs. Ritter hurries
in and settles herself on the partition-seat at the
left and listens attentively.</i>] you understand, of course,
that the setting will be just as it was at the Civic Club
on the fourteenth; only, of course, as you know, the
stage at Hutchy Kutchy is considerably larger. That,
however, need not concern us particularly, as the entrances
and exits will be relatively the same. [<i>She
finishes this speech to Mr. Spindler, who is standing
at her right, waiting for her to take the lead-pencil.</i>]
Oh, thank you, Mr. Spindler. [<i>She gives him the one
she has—simply an exchange of pencils, and he salutes
and returns to a position below the casement-window.
Florence comes in at the right door again, wearing her
furs, and comes down at the right of the piano. Mrs.
Pampinelli moves a little towards the center-door.</i>]
Are you going to watch the rehearsal, Mr. Ritter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Of course, he is!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming through the center-door</i>] If I
wouldn’t be in the way.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Not at all,—very glad to have
you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> He can sit over here with the promptress.
[<i>He crosses towards Nelly, picking up the little
chair above the table at the left, as he passes. Hossefrosse
emerges from the right hallway carrying a light,
soft hat, a cane and gloves, and stands in the center-door.
Florence steps across below the piano and asks
Mrs. Pampinelli something.</i>] If you can behave yourself.
[<i>Florence returns to the corner of the piano nearest
the window and drapes herself on it. She’s a very
gorgeous-looking thing, in a sleeveless gown of canary-colored
metallic silk, made quite daringly severe, to
exploit the long, lithe lines of her greyhound figure.
There’s a chain-effect girdle with the dress, of vivid
jade, worn loose, and an ornament of the same jade on
the left shoulder, from which the goods falls in a plain
drape down in front of the arm to the bottom of the
skirt. She has a perfect shock of hair,—rather striking,—a
kind of suspicious auburn; and she has it
bobbed. Her slippers and stockings are white.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You needn’t sit there yet, Teddy,
I’m going to run through the last scene first,—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Rising</i>] Oh, all right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> For Mr. Hossefrosse’s lines.
[<i>Teddy passes in front of the table at the left and
goes up to the center-door and out into the right hallway,</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</SPAN></span>
<i>where he chats with Twiller and watches the
proceedings over the partition. Spindler comes over
and asks Mrs. Pampinelli something. Ritter places
his chair beside Nelly’s, above it, and sits down, assuming
the attitude of a lover.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Pushing Ritter’s arm away</i>] Stop it,
Frederick Ritter! Paula! [<i>Spindler returns to his
post.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Inanely</i>] Behave yourself, Fred.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Now, folks,—[<i>She moves slowly
down and across towards the table at the left.</i>] Mr.
Spindler will attend to the various cues tonight, and
at the performance tomorrow night as well. [<i>Speaking
directly to Nelly</i>] So we won’t have to bother
about that. [<i>Turning round to her left and addressing
the others</i>] He will do all the rapping. [<i>She raps
a little.</i>] And he has a little telephone-bell of his own,
[<i>She moves across again towards the back of the table
at the right.</i>] which he has very kindly tendered the use
of. Have you that bell with you tonight, Mr. Spindler?
[<i>He holds out a bell and battery arrangement
on a piece of wood, having taken it from his pocket immediately
she referred to it, and rings it twice.</i>] Splendid.
[<i>She passes above the table and comes forward at
the right of it, very thoughtfully.</i>] That’s splendid.
[<i>Spindler replaces the battery.</i>] Now, children,—[<i>She
crosses in front of the table.</i>] I think, first, I should
like to take that scene at the finish, between Doctor
Arlington and his wife; [<i>She is standing at the left</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</SPAN></span>
<i>of the table, speaking directly to Hossefrosse, who is
standing in the center-door, with his hat on, at a rather
absurd angle, and holding his cane in one hand and
his gloves in the other, in a very stilted fashion. Hossefrosse
is a terribly well-fed-looking person in dinner
clothes, perhaps, thirty-eight years of age,—flamingly
florid of complexion, and with an effusiveness of manner
that is probably only saved from absolute effervescence
by the ponderous counterpoise of his dignity.</i>]
there are a few little things in there I want to correct.
[<i>Crossing over back of the table at the left towards
Mrs. Fell</i>] Page eighteen or nineteen, I think it is,
Nelly. It’s the scene at the finish between Mr. Hossefrosse
and Miss McCrickett. [<i>Nelly looks for the
place, through her lorgnon.</i>] Oh! [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
turns back to the others again.</i>] and one thing more I
want to mention, boys and girls, before I forget it.
[<i>She takes a funny little coughing spell.</i>] Pardon me.
[<i>She coughs again.</i>] Oh, dear me! [<i>She closes her eyes
tight and shivers her head.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Page eighteen did you say it was,
Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Eighteen or nineteen, yes. It’s
somewhere right in there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, yes, here it is, I have it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning back to the people,
and speaking with careful emphasis</i>] When you are
going on and off the stage, be very careful of those
little wooden strips that they have across the bottoms<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</SPAN></span>
of the doors, and don’t trip. [<i>Mrs. Ritter laughs self-consciously
and Hossefrosse leans over and says something
to her. Florence laughs, and turns and says
something to Spindler, and Teddy and Twiller laugh
and look toward Mrs. Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Looking out around Mrs. Pampinelli
to see Mrs. Ritter</i>] Paula! [<i>Then she sits back, laughing,
and says something to Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I really think that was what
made some of you so nervous at the Civic Club the
last time. So, watch it, all of you, for they will
probably have just the same thing down at Hutchy
Kutchy.—There is perhaps nothing quite so disconcerting
as to trip—as one comes on a stage. Going
off—is not so bad; but—coming on, I have found that
it requires a <i>tremendous</i> artist to rise above it. [<i>She
starts down towards the table at the right, below the
piano.</i>] So, watch it, all of you. Now, is everybody
in his place? [<i>She stops below the table and picks up
her note-book.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Handing Ritter the manuscript and
getting up suddenly</i>] Oh, just one moment, Betty!
[<i>She teeters across to the table at the right.</i>] I want to
get my other glasses—they’re right here in my bag.
[<i>She picks up the bag and starts back to her place.</i>]
I beg pardon, everybody, but I can’t tell one letter
from another without these glasses. [<i>This last sentence
culminates in a flighty giggle, for no reason at all, and</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</SPAN></span>
<i>then she sits down, and heaves a deep sigh of amusement.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Who has been looking at her
steadily</i>] <i>Now</i>, is everybody ready? [<i>Mrs. Fell simply
lifts her eyes and looks at her; then proceeds to get her
glasses out of the bag.</i>] Use your voices, children, and
try to do it tonight just as you are going to do it tomorrow
night at Hutchy Kutchy. [<i>She moves a step
or two nearer the middle of the room.</i>] Doctor Arlington
is still in his office.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Rush—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Coming in through the center-door</i>]
Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Is just about to make his exit.
[<i>He crosses above the piano and stands waiting at the
right door. He’s a bald-headed youth, between thirty
and thirty-five, in dinner clothes, excessively well-groomed
but utterly nondescript.</i>] And Mrs. Arlington
is putting on the deadlatch. [<i>Florence straightens
up.</i>] All ready, now? [<i>She holds up her hands for a
second, then claps them once.</i>] All right. [<i>Twiller goes
out through the right door and Mrs. Pampinelli moves
over towards the right, watching Florence.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Pretending to put on a deadlatch</i>]
Deadlatch.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Standing in rigid military fashion</i>]
Click—click. [<i>Florence turns and starts across towards</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</SPAN></span>
<i>the middle of the room, passing between the piano and
the table below it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Glancing toward the center-door</i>] You
can come out now, Clyde, they’ve gone. [<i>She continues
to the table at the left and stands resting one hand
upon it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Bustling forward from the center-door,
removing his hat as he comes</i>] Anybody here,
David? [<i>Spindler whistles shrilly, takes a step forward
and tries to attract Hossefrosse’s attention, by
holding up his right arm and flicking his fingers at
him. Teddy laughs and turns to tell Twiller, who
is just rejoining him from the right hallway, what
has happened. Florence turns and looks at Hossefrosse,
then at Mrs. Pampinelli, who is standing at
the right of the table below the piano. Mrs. Ritter
gets up and simply staggers laughing through the center-door
and out to Teddy and Twiller.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Speaking to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] That
isn’t right, is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to Spindler at her
right and holding up her hand</i>] Please don’t whistle,
Mr. Spindler! I can’t stand whistling.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I thought we were going to take the
<i>last</i> scene first.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Moving around in front of the
table and going near to Hossefrosse</i>] We are taking<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</SPAN></span>
the <i>last</i> scene <i>first</i>, Mr. Hossefrosse, that is the <i>first</i>
scene.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Holding up her hand</i>] Wait a moment,
wait one moment, just one moment, somebody’s off
the track! [<i>Twiller and Teddy laugh again and
Hossefrosse turns and looks at them. Twiller shakes
his head, flips his hand at him and walks away into the
right hallway, as though deploring his stupidity. Ritter
begins to laugh.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I thought I had made that sufficiently
clear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, <span class="smcap">Spindler</span> and
<span class="smcap">Twiller</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> We are taking the scene at
the finish, Mr. Hossefrosse, between you and Miss
McCrickett.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Rising</i>] That’s the first scene, Huxley,
and we are taking the last scene, between you and
Florence, on page nineteen, right here, [<i>She indicates
the place in the manuscript</i>].</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Addressing Teddy</i>] I hope he doesn’t
pull anything like that tomorrow night. [<i>He returns
to his place below the window.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Coming back into view from the hallway</i>]
Don’t weaken, Huxley, you know what they
say about a bad rehearsal.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Topping them all</i>] Please,
children, please!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Down at the bottom of the page.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</SPAN></span>
[<i>Mrs. Ritter comes through the center-door again
and sits down on the left partition-seat.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Speaking directly to Mrs. Fell</i>]
Please—[<i>Mrs. Fell sits down again, slowly, Mrs. Pampinelli
looking at her stonily.</i>] Let us have one director,
if you please. [<i>She withdraws her eyes slowly, and
Nelly darts a bitter look at her.</i>] Now, don’t let
us have everybody talking at once; it only confuses
people, and wastes a lot of time. [<i>Hossefrosse stands
bewildered in the middle of the room. Mrs. Pampinelli
addresses him directly, speaking with measured
emphasis.</i>] We are taking the <i>last</i> scene <i>first</i>, Mr.
Hossefrosse: it is the scene at the finish, between you
and Miss McCrickett, just before Paula comes on,—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Oh, I beg your pardon!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And <i>after</i> Mr. Rush has left
the stage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I thought we were beginning right
from the beginning.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, I’d like to run through
the <i>last</i> scene <i>first</i>, if you don’t mind; there are a few
little things in it I’d like to correct.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning and starting for the center-door</i>]
This was the wrong entrance for that line,
anyway.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And you won’t need your hat
and cane in this scene.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> That’s so, too.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Who is standing out just at the right of
the center-door</i>] I’ll take them, Hux.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Handing him the hat, gloves and
cane</i>] Thanks. [<i>Turning to Mrs. Ritter</i>] I’ll get
straightened out after while. [<i>Paula laughs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Now, Florence dear, will you
go back?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Crossing back again to the window</i>]
Certainly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Crossing back to the right, in
front of the table</i>] And take it right from Mr. Rush’s
exit.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Looking round at Hossefrosse</i>] Ready?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>In the center-door</i>] Yes, I’m ready.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Florence</i>] Go on.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Repeating her former business of putting
on a deadlatch</i>] Deadlatch.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Having again assumed his rigid military
attitude</i>] Click—click. [<i>Florence turns and crosses
again between the piano and the table.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>With a glance at the center-door</i>] You
can come out now, Clyde, they’ve gone. [<i>She continues
to her former position at the right of the little
table at the left. Hossefrosse steps resolutely through
the center-door, gives her a wicked look, glances toward
the door at the right, then strides forward and
plants himself directly opposite her, his head thrown
back, his eyes ablaze, and his arms akimbo.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Did you come here to make a scene!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Languidly, and without turning</i>] Have
I made one?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Getting loud</i>] What are you doing
here?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Raising her hand to enjoin silence</i>]
Sh-sh—[<i>He turns abruptly and looks toward the door
at the right; then back to her again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I want an explanation of this!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Turning to him, and rather casually</i>]
So do I.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing at the right of the
table below the piano</i>] Oh, more imperious, Florence
dear! [<i>Florence and Hossefrosse look at her.</i>] More
of this. [<i>She lifts her shoulders, eyebrows and chin,
to illustrate her idea of the general hauteur of the
line.</i>] Much more.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Vaguely</i>] Don’t you think she would
cry there? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli looks at her steadily
for a pause and thinks: then she rests her lead-pencil
on the table and tilts her head a bit to one side.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Do you want to cry there,
dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> No, but I can if you want me to.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No,—personally, I think she’s
speaking more in anger than in sorrow. You see,
dear, you are impersonating a wronged wife. Now,
you yourself, Florence darling, are an unmarried girl:—it
is difficult for you to realize how excessively annoyed
with her husband a married woman can become.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</SPAN></span>
I think I would take it with more <i>lift</i>. More of this,
you know. [<i>She repeats her former illustration.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Endeavoring to imitate the manner of
delivery, and speaking in a deep, tragic tone</i>] So do I.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Perfect.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] Go
on?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, go on.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Clearing his throat and trying to
summon his attack</i>] What is your reason for sneaking
into my office at this hour?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Is it necessary that your wife have a
reason for coming to your office?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> You wanted to embarrass Mrs. Rush,
that was it, wasn’t it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Waving her hand toward them
with an upward movement</i>] Tempo, children!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I wanted to meet my rival.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> You could have met Mrs. Rush under
more candid circumstances.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Moving around towards them,
in front of the table</i>] Tempo, children!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> The present ones suited my purposes
better.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning away impatiently</i>] Naturally!—You
wanted a scene! [<i>He starts over to the right,
but Mrs. Pampinelli is standing right in his way, so
he stops short, but maintains the physical tautness of
his character. Florence, too, has turned away, to the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</SPAN></span>
<i>left, and is moving across in front of the table towards
the arm-chair.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Oblivious of Hossefrosse, and
still making her upward waving gesture over his shoulder</i>]
Tempo, Florence! [<i>Suddenly becoming conscious
that she is obstructing Hossefrosse’s cross, and stepping
below him</i>] I beg your pardon.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Bowing stiffly</i>] Not at all. [<i>He
continues over to the right and stops, right in front
of Spindler, and they stand looking into each other’s
eyes; while Mrs. Pampinelli comes up at the left of
the table to the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Sitting down in the arm-chair</i>] I think
if I were a scenic woman I’ve had ample opportunity
during the last fifteen minutes to indulge myself.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Still looking into Spindler’s eyes</i>]
You did I think;—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Beckoning to Spindler</i>] Mr.
Spindler.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I had the pleasure of hearing you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Was it a pleasure, Clyde?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Still beckoning to Spindler</i>]
Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Whirling around and glaring at Florence</i>]
It appears to amuse you! [<i>Spindler steps below
Hossefrosse and passes up in front of him to Mrs.
Pampinelli, who whispers something to him.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Unfastening her neckpiece</i>] I have an
inopportune sense of humor.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> You should be able to appreciate the
situation, you created it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Looking over at him</i>] I didn’t create
her husband.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Making a little gesture of annoyance</i>]
I’m afraid I’m stuck! [<i>He tries hard to think, and
Mrs. Pampinelli makes a gesture toward Mrs. Fell
to give him the line, but Nelly is occupied in telling
Ritter a story.</i>] But, don’t tell me! [<i>He feels for the
line again, and Mrs. Pampinelli tries to attract Nelly’s
attention.</i>] I guess I’m gone. [<i>Suddenly Nelly bursts
into a fit of laughing, having made the point of the
story.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What is the line, Nelly? [<i>Ritter
nudges her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Stopping suddenly in her laughter and
hitting him with her fan</i>] Stop that!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Get on your job, you’re holding up the
show. [<i>Nelly looks excitedly toward Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What is the line, Nelly, please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What! Oh, I beg your pardon, is somebody
stuck?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Hossefrosse.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Got another mind-blank.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, well, now, just wait one minute,
please, till I see where I’m at. [<i>She searches frantically</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</SPAN></span>
<i>through the manuscript.</i>] Oh, yes, here it is!
[<i>Ritter indicates a place on the page. She pushes his
arm out of the way.</i>] I didn’t create her husband.
[<i>Teddy and Twiller laugh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Florence</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>,
together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, dear, we’ve just passed
that.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I’ve already said that, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> It’s the next line.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Vaguely, and looking through her
lorgnon and spectacles at the manuscript</i>] Oh, have
we passed that!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> The next line after the one
you just read.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, I see now where we are! The
next line after that is, “You’ve all been listening to
a lot of damned, cheap gossip.”</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That’s it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] That certainly
is my Jonah line.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You’ve all been list—[<i>Spindler
goes around to the right and sits on the piano-stool,
looking near-sightedly at the music.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning to Florence, and assuming
his character again</i>] You’ve all been listening to a lot
of damned, cheap gossip! [<i>He starts to cross towards
the left, passing between the piano and the table, but</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</SPAN></span>
<i>Mrs. Pampinelli is right in his way again, so he is
obliged to stop short and wait.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Which should show you that people are
talking. [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli turns to see why Hossefrosse
is not picking up his line.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Stepping out of his way</i>] I
beg your pardon. [<i>She circles down at the left of the
table again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Continuing over towards the mantelpiece</i>]
My fault. One or two old women, perhaps.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Will it confine itself to those?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning at the mantelpiece and
coming back to the middle of the room</i>] Well, I can’t
control that.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Have you tried?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Whirling upon her, and literally
shouting</i>] No!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing at the right of the
table below the piano</i>] Excellent.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning and bowing briefly to her</i>]
Thank you very much. [<i>Resuming the scene with
Florence</i>] And I don’t intend to. People will always
talk; it may as well be at my expense as anybody else’s.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Leaning towards him across the
table, and speaking with poisonous sweetness</i>] Anybody’s
<i>else</i>, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Beg pardon?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Would you say anybody’s else;
it sounds better.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning back again to Florence</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</SPAN></span>
It may as well be at my expense as anybody else’s.
[<i>Mr. Spindler’s elbow slips off the piano onto the keyboard,
striking a perfectly villainous chord, and causing
everybody to turn and look in that direction.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Spindler, please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Adjusting his goggles, which have been
slightly dislodged by the incident</i>] I’m sorry. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli turns back to Hossefrosse.</i>] Never mind, Mr.
Hossefrosse, it will come.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Your position can’t afford it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Taking a step towards the right</i>]
I’ve given them nothing to talk about.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> No? [<i>He stops abruptly and turns and
looks at her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> What? [<i>He takes a couple of steps
towards her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Rising</i>] Please, Clyde!—[<i>She crosses
in front of the table at the left and goes towards him.
Mrs. Ritter gets up from the partition-seat and comes
down to the table at the right, below the piano.</i>] You’re
not talking to your office-boy—[<i>Mrs. Ritter picks up
the little chair from the left of the table and starts
back again towards the center-door.</i>] Let us get to the
point.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Very well.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs.
Ritter.</span>—Excuse me, Florence. [<i>Florence bows and
smiles.</i>] And you, too, Mr. Hossefrosse.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> What brought you here tonight?<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</SPAN></span>
[<i>He turns to see the cause of the movement behind him.</i>]
Don’t mention it. [<i>Mrs. Ritter places the chair in
front of the partition where she has been sitting, then
crosses to the piano and gets her sewing-basket, returning
with it to the chair and sitting down to sew.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Not to quarrel with you, for one thing.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> You wanted to embarrass Mrs.
Rush, that was it, wasn’t it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Not at all,—you misunderstood me;
I said, “I wanted to <i>meet</i> Mrs. Rush.” [<i>Teddy comes
in through the center-door from the right hallway and
sits down on the partition-seat at the right. Teddy is
a frail little wisp of a youth around twenty, in dinner
clothes. He has big eyes and good teeth, and laughs
on the slightest provocation. His forehead is defectively
high, and his thin hair is plastered back and brilliantined.
His type is always to be found draped upon
the banisters or across the pianos in the houses of the
rich,—a kind of social annoyance, created by wealthy
connections and the usual lack of available men.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> What did you want to meet her for?
[<i>Twiller steps through the center-door from the right
hallway and whispers something to Mrs. Ritter. She
answers him, and he steps out into the hallway and fills
himself out a glass of claret from the bowl, then goes
up and sits on the landing of the stairway and watches
the rehearsal.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Why, I thought that we three might—reason
together, [<i>He holds her eye for a second, then</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</SPAN></span>
<i>turns away, and reaches in his various pockets for his
cigarettes.</i>] concerning our respective futures.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>In a lowered tone, to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
Forgot my cigarettes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Never mind, I only want lines.
Go on, Florence. [<i>Hossefrosse takes an imaginary
cigarette from an imaginary case, replaces the case,
taps the cigarette on the back of his hand, puts it in
his mouth, strikes an imaginary match on his shoe, and
lights the cigarette.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I’ve deferred the discussion for a long
time, but it may as well be today as tomorrow.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Your plan didn’t work out very
well, did it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Oh, yes, very well indeed; although
hardly as I had anticipated; thanks to <i>her</i> husband and
<i>your</i> lies. [<i>He blows out the imaginary match and
tosses it onto the floor at the right; then snaps his head
around and glares at Florence. Mrs. Pampinelli glances
down onto the floor, as though to assure herself that
Mr. Hossefrosse hasn’t really thrown a lighted match
onto the carpet.</i>] You’ve evidently told this boy here
that Mrs. Rush is your wife.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I’ve told him nothing of the kind!
[<i>He starts to cross again to the right, but Mrs. Pampinelli
is again right in his pathway, standing in front
of the table below the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Stepping below him, and going
a step or two nearer Florence</i>] I beg your pardon.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I beg your pardon. [<i>He continues</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</SPAN></span>
<i>over to the table below the window at the right and
stands there, pretending to smoke.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Then, you’ve allowed him to think so.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Looking straight ahead</i>] That’s
business.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Perhaps it is. It has at least allowed
you to be present at the passing of Mrs. Rush. [<i>She
turns and goes towards the back. Mrs. Ritter calls
her to her and they start discussing the hang of Florence’s
skirt.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Whirling around</i>] You are deliberately
misinterpreting this situation! [<i>He starts to
move across towards her, passing between the piano and
table.</i>] Yes you are! It’s perfectly ridiculous that a
physician cannot take a woman patient without being
subjected to the whisperings of a lot of vulgar scandal-mongers!
[<i>Nelly Fell goes into violent laughter at
something Ritter has just finished telling her. Florence
and Mrs. Ritter continue their discussion of the dress,
and Mrs. Pampinelli tries by dint of gesturing to attract
Florence’s attention.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Florence dear, please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Turning suddenly, and continuing her
lines</i>] Oh, I beg your pardon! [<i>She moves slowly
towards the mantelpiece.</i>] This is not a romantic age,
Clyde.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Mrs. Rush is a patient of mine!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Moving down at the left towards
Ritter and Mrs. Fell</i>] She may have been originally.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</SPAN></span>
[<i>Mrs. Fell bursts out afresh over something else that
Ritter whispers.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Flicking her finger at Nelly</i>]
Sh-sh-Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Florence, who is standing looking
at her</i>] I beg your pardon.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Standing in the middle of the room</i>]
She is <i>now</i>!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Resting one hand on the arm-chair</i>]
I’m not disputing it. [<i>He turns away, and stands at
the left of the table below the piano.</i>] But she must
have a very persistent malady—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Just one minute, Flossie—one minute—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> That hasn’t responded to a treatment
of more than six years—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Flossie, Flossie, Flossie! [<i>Florence
stops and looks at her.</i>] Just a minute. [<i>She looks
sharply at her manuscript.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What is the matter, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, I beg your pardon, I thought
she’d omitted a line. [<i>To Florence</i>] I beg your pardon.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Go on, Florence. [<i>Ritter
says something to Nelly and she hits him with the manuscript.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Not to speak of the innumerable changes
of air that she’s enjoyed—[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli, standing
over at the right below the piano, takes quite a little
coughing spell, and Mrs. Ritter promptly gets up and
goes to the punch-bowl to fill her out a glass of punch.</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</SPAN></span>
at your expense; and under your personal escort.
[<i>Hossefrosse looks over at her. She raises her hand
understandingly, and starts slowly across in front of the
table towards him.</i>] I have the day and date of the majority
of them. So, you see, your chivalry is a bit trying,
under the circumstances. [<i>He looks straight ahead
and tries to look sullen and defeated.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Up in the center-door, holding aloft
a glass of punch</i>] Betty!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> But, I haven’t come here to reproach
you, or to plead for your return. Not at all. I think
you <i>love</i> this woman.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming a little further forward</i>]
Betty! [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli has another coughing spell.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> And in that case, I want to offer you
your freedom—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Careful, now, children. [<i>Mrs.
Ritter comes forward to the table at the left and tries
to attract Mrs. Pampinelli’s attention to the glass of
punch.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> If you want it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Holding up her forefinger</i>]
One, two, three.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Snapping his head around and
shouting at Florence</i>] Well, I don’t want it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Good!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> And I see absolutely no occasion for
any such talk. [<i>Mrs. Fell drops her bag and reaches
for it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> You are probably more broad-minded<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</SPAN></span>
than I. [<i>Nelly Fell utters a piercing little shriek,
having almost fallen off the chair in reaching to pick
up her bag. Everyone turns and looks, and Teddy
laughs, as usual.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What’s the matter, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Straightening up, with Ritter’s assistance,
and laughing</i>] I nearly fell off the chair.
[<i>Mrs. Ritter laughs and returns to the center-door and
stands.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Go on, Florence.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> And, really, I don’t think your freedom
would be a very good thing for you. You have a
form of respectability that requires a certain anchorage
in the conventions. But unless you can reconcile yourself
in the future to a more literal observance of those
conventions, I shall be obliged to insist that you <i>take</i>
your freedom.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Look at her, Mr. Hossefrosse.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Beg pardon?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a touch of impatience</i>]
Look at her! [<i>She begins to cough again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Oh, yes, yes! [<i>He turns and glares
at Florence, who is standing just a couple of feet away
from him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Holding the glass of punch aloft
again</i>] Betty!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I have a couple of growing boys,—[<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli passes right up between Florence and
Hossefrosse to Mrs. Ritter, and takes the glass of claret.</i>]
who are beginning to ask me questions which I find too<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</SPAN></span>
difficult to answer: and I will neither lie to them—nor
allow them to pity me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> What do you want me to do?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Handing the claret-glass back
to Paula, who goes to the bowl and refills it, and the
note-book and pencil to Teddy</i>] Just a moment. [<i>She
turns and comes forward in the middle of the room.
Florence turns and moves over to the table at the left,
and Hossefrosse remains standing at the table at the
right.</i>] Just one moment. Listen, Florence dear. [<i>She
uses her handkerchief, then stuffs it into the bosom of
her dress.</i>] I want you, if you can, to make just a little
bit more of that last line. Within the limits of the
characterization, of course; but if you can <i>feel</i> it, I’d
like you to give me just the barest suggestion of a tear.
Not too much; but just enough to show that,—under
all her courage—and her threatening, she is still a
woman—and a Mother. You see what I mean, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> More emotion.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> In that last line. You are
doing splendidly, darling, [<i>Turning to Hossefrosse</i>]
both of you; [<i>He acknowledges his excellence with a
short bow.</i>] but I have always <i>felt</i> that that last line—was
really the <i>big</i> moment—of the play. It seems to me—[<i>She
toys with her necklace, narrows her eyes and
looks away off.</i>] that it is there—that she makes her
big plea, for her boys, for her home,—for every woman’s
home. And even though that plea <i>is</i> made in the form
of a threat,—somehow or other—I seem to hear her
saying, sub-vocally, of course, “In God’s <i>name, don’t</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</SPAN></span>
make it necessary for me to do this thing!” [<i>She concludes
this speech rather dramatically, her arms outstretched.
Mr. Spindler, at this point, engaged in a
too curious examination of the keyboard, accidentally
touches D flat above High C. Everybody turns and
looks at him, but his consciousness of guilt does not permit
of his meeting their eyes, so he remains bent over
the keyboard in precisely the attitude he was in when
he struck the note.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, go away from that piano, Mr.
Spindler! [<i>Mrs. Ritter comes forward at the left
with a dish of cakes and a glass of claret.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Withdrawing her eyes witheringly
from Spindler and turning back to Florence</i>]
Do you see what I mean, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I think I do. Do you want me to go
back?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, that’s quite all right. We’ll
take it right from Mr. Hossefrosse’s line, [<i>She turns
toward Hossefrosse. And Mrs. Ritter takes advantage
of the circumstance to offer Florence a cake; which,
of course, is declined with thanks. Then she turns to
Mrs. Pampinelli and waits till the lady has finished
directing Hossefrosse.</i>] “What do you want me to do?”
[<i>Mrs. P. turns back, to be confronted with the cakes
and claret; and she takes both. Then she and Paula
move back towards the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Clearing his throat</i>] What do you
want me to do? [<i>Paula gives a shriek of laughter, at
something Mrs. Pampinelli whispers to her. Then</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</SPAN></span>
<i>Paula goes out through the center-door and offers Twiller,
who is still sitting half-way up the stairs, some cake,
which he accepts, and then Teddy, who declines, and
finally, after taking another one herself, sets the plate
down on the hallway table and resumes her chair up
at the left; while Mrs. Pampinelli, cake and claret in
hand, wanders forward at the right, passing over between
the piano and the table below it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I’ve already told you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Then, I suppose I’m simply to decline
all women patients in the future, [<i>She makes a little
sound of amusement.</i>] or else submit them for general
approval. [<i>He now presses the imaginary fire out of
the cigarette on the imaginary tray on the table.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Stick to your guns, Clyde.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> That’s the only thing I see to do.
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli stands over at the right watching
the scene, and eating and drinking.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Your tenacity is commendable, but it’s
a lost cause. [<i>Looking at him steadily</i>] I appreciate
your embarrassment—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning to her, thrusting his hands
into his coat-pockets, tilting his chin, and looking at
her with an absurdly perky expression</i>] I’m not embarrassed.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Desolation, then.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Snapping his fingers at her</i>] Ha!
[<i>He swings rather jauntily across and up towards the
mantelpiece.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> More nonchalance in the cross,
Mr. Hossefrosse.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning to her suddenly</i>] Me?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> More savoir faire, as we say
in French. [<i>She illustrates the idea with a kind of
floating gesture of the hand.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I see. [<i>He continues over to the
left and down towards Ritter and Mrs. Fell, endeavoring
to execute Mrs. Pampinelli’s idea by raising his
shoulders, stiffening his arms, throwing his head back
and swinging his legs, as he walks. Nelly Fell is whispering
something to Ritter behind her fan, so that, when
Hossefrosse reaches them, he is obliged to touch Ritter
on the shoulder and suggest with a nod and a smile
that the exigencies of the play require that he shall
sit where Ritter is sitting. So Ritter jumps up and
tiptoes across in front of the table and up to the piano,
where he stands leaning—and watching—particularly
Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Moving to the table below the piano</i>]
But, I shall be magnanimous; having loved and lost
myself. So that, really, it may not be nearly so difficult
as you imagine.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Sitting on the chair vacated by
Ritter</i>] Well, I can’t say that I relish the prospect,
with any such misunderstanding as this between us.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Crossing to the table at the left</i>]
It’s the portion of half the world, Clyde. [<i>Twiller
gets up from the stairs and comes down into the right
hallway, where he stands watching.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Trying to look sullen, by resting
one elbow on his knee and hunching his shoulders</i>]
It certainly isn’t a very inviting one. [<i>Nelly Fell
starts to whisper something in his ear.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> But it has its compensations. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli, having finished her cake and claret, sets
the empty glass down on the table below the piano and
uses her handkerchief.</i>] You’ll have your memories,
and I shall have the wisdom of disillusionment;—[<i>The
telephone-bell rings, up in the left hallway. Mrs.
Ritter jumps up, places her sewing-basket on the chair,
and, touching her hair, comes forward quickly at the
right to the table below the piano.</i>] as well as the consciousness
of lots of company.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Speaking directly to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
Is that my cue? [<i>Florence stops and turns
and looks at her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Which cue, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Taking a step towards Florence,
and with a little questioning, bewildered gesture</i>] The
telephone is my cue, isn’t it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a touch of impatience</i>]
No, darling, you’re not on in this scene at all. Go on,
Florence. [<i>Mrs. Ritter puts her hand to her cheek
and looks from one to the other in puzzled embarrassment.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Turning and resuming her lines to
Hossefrosse, who, by this time, is deep in conversation
with Mrs. Fell</i>] For there are a million women exactly<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</SPAN></span>
like me. [<i>Mrs. Ritter bursts out laughing. So
does Teddy. Twiller reaches over the partition and
flips Teddy on the head with his handkerchief. Jenny
appears in the left hallway to answer the telephone.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span> and <span class="smcap">Florence</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] Oh,
I beg your pardon! [<i>She leans across the table explaining
to Mrs. Pampinelli, who tries politely to silence
her by suggestion that the scene is in progress.</i>] I
thought that was my cue.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence</span>—Secondary women. [<i>She moves around
above the table and stands just above Hossefrosse.</i>] So
don’t look so tragic; you haven’t lost anything but a
lot of time;</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>At the telephone</i>] Hello?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span>, <span class="smcap">Florence</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span>—I was thinking of something else,
you know, and when I heard the telephone, I thought
it was for me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span>—And that’s always lost when it’s spent
on things that are insusceptible of conclusion.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Bursting into a perfect shriek of
laughter at something Hossefrosse has just finished
telling her, and pushing him away from her</i>] Huxley
Hossefrosse, you are perfectly dreadful! [<i>He laughs,
too, and attempts to tell her something else, but she
turns away and waves him aside.</i>] No, No, No.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No dear, that is your own
telephone.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>At the telephone still</i>] Just a minute.
[<i>Mrs. Ritter turns towards the back of the room.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, so it is! [<i>Directly to Ritter</i>]
I knew I had one telephone cue. [<i>She goes laughing
through the center-door and on out into the right hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Trying to attract Ritter’s attention</i>]
<span class="smcap">Mr. Ritter!</span> [<i>But Ritter is absorbed in watching
Hossefrosse. Florence stands waiting for Hossefrosse
and Nelly to stop laughing, but as it doesn’t look as
though they will ever stop, she gives Hossefrosse a
little dig in the shoulder with her finger. He straightens
up abruptly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Prompting him</i>] I’ve lost her.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Mr. Ritter!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I’ve lost her.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> That was inevitable in your case, Clyde;
you have a conventional soul. [<i>Jenny asks Teddy in
pantomime to attract Ritter’s attention.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>In a tone intended to express abysmal
despair</i>] I’ve lost you. [<i>Ritter bursts out laughing.
Teddy reaches out and indicates that he is wanted
on the telephone. Jenny holds the telephone up, and
he steps quickly out into the hallway to take it from
her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> That was incidental, eh?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> But, it seems to me there should be
some other way.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Moving to the right, above the table</i>]
There is, my dear boy,—for lots of people——</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>at the telephone</i>] Hello? [<i>Jenny goes
out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> But not for you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> You’re too respectable—Physically, I
mean. [<i>She laughs a little, and stands above the table
looking at him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Well, wait a minute, I’ll talk to you upstairs.
[<i>He sets the telephone down and starts towards
the right to go upstairs. As he passes the center-door
he speaks to Teddy, who is still sitting just inside the
center-door on the right partition-seat.</i>] Hang that up
when I get on, will you, Teddy? [<i>Teddy jumps up
and goes out to the telephone, and holds it, waiting
till Ritter gets on the extension upstairs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> And Mrs. Rush has what it appears to
me to be a rather—primitive husband—[<i>Hossefrosse
gives her a narrow look.</i>] and you have a very modern
wife. So be wise, Clyde; you know what usually
happens to him who “loves the danger.” [<i>There is a
loud knock at the right door. Hossefrosse jumps to
his feet and stands looking fearfully toward it. Florence
assumes all the dignity at her command, drawing
herself up, placing her right hand upon her throat,
her left on her hip, and waiting,—the proud but outraged
wife. Mrs. Pampinelli holds up both hands
and looks in the direction of the door, to impress</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</SPAN></span>
<i>everybody with the dramatic value of the situation.
Teddy hangs up the receiver and stands watching her.
Nelly Fell straightens up briskly and sits watching the
door, in expectant attention. Then Mrs. Pampinelli
makes a gesture to Florence to go on with her lines.</i>]
Go into your office, I’ll talk to this woman. [<i>Hossefrosse
drops his head and shoulders and slinks across
in front of the table, a beaten man. He continues up
to the center-door and out, into the right hallway. The
knock is repeated at the right door. Mrs. Pampinelli
motions to Teddy that that is his cue to open the door.
He comes through the center-door and crosses above
the piano to the right door, Mrs. Pampinelli at the
same time moving over to the arm-chair at the right
and enshrining herself. Teddy opens the door; and
Mrs. Ritter swishes in self-consciously. Nelly Fell
and Mr. Twiller give a little ripple of applause, but
Mrs. Pampinelli holds one finger up toward Nelly and
shushes her. Mrs. Ritter is wearing a rather bizarre-looking
hat, set at something of a challenging angle,
and as she comes forward at the right of the piano,
she bursts into a self-conscious giggle. But Mrs. Pampinelli
reproves her with a look. So she controls herself
and crosses below the piano, Teddy, simultaneously,
crossing above the piano. She stops at the
corner of the piano and rests her left hand upon it.
Then she places her right hand upon her hip, and,
tilting her head back, looks at Teddy, who has stopped
directly above her. Ritter appears on the stairway,</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</SPAN></span>
<i>and moves down a step or two, watching his wife,
narrowly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Flipping her left hand at Teddy,
in an attempt to give a fly impression</i>] Hello, kid.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Hello, Mrs. Arlington. [<i>Mrs. Ritter
swishes down towards the left, shaking her head from
side to side and holding her arms akimbo. She turns
around to her left, gives Florence a look, supposed to
be a very contemptuous look, and stands in the middle
of the room again, facing Teddy.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Speaking directly to Teddy</i>] Is
my sweetie in? [<i>Ritter moves slowly down to the
landing of the stairs, watching his wife as though she
were some baffling phenomenon.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> No, mam, he ain’t.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Drawing her shoulders up, and
speaking in a high unnatural key</i>] What!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> He went about six o’clock.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why, I had an appointment with
<i>him</i>!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> He might be back, maybe.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> But, I can’t wait unless I’m <i>certain</i>
that he’s coming back.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> He was expecting you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Still shaking her head and trying
generally to appear bold</i>] Yes, I know he was.
[<i>Turning to the table at the left, back of which Florence
is standing</i>] I suppose I’d better leave a note
for him. [<i>She indicates the table with a waving gesture
of her left hand.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> You’ll find that green one is the best pen.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Stepping to the table</i>] Thanks.
[<i>She looks at Florence, who gives her a withering
look over her right shoulder and turns away to the
mantelpiece at the left. Then Mrs. Ritter gives her
idea of a scornful laugh.</i>] Ha! Ha! Ha!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Sweeping his hand across his brow,
groaning, and falling down the stairs, into the right
hallway</i>] Oh my God!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Seeing him fall, and jumping
up</i>] Oh, my dear! [<i>Everybody turns.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Trying to catch him</i>] Hold it!
[<i>Spindler rushes past Mrs. Pampinelli and out the
center-door into the right hallway. Teddy jumps
into a kneeling position on the right partition-seat and
looks over the partition. Florence and Mrs. Fell rush
up to the center-door and try to see what’s going on,
Nelly dodging from one side of Florence to the other,
and peering through her lorgnon.</i>] Are you hurt, old
man?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Handing his cane and gloves to
Spindler</i>] Hold those, please. [<i>Spindler takes them,
and Hossefrosse prepares to assist Twiller to lift Ritter
from the floor.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Get some water, somebody! [<i>Spindler
rushes out the left hallway. Mrs. Pampinelli sweeps
up from below the table at the right to the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Bewildered, in the middle of the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</SPAN></span>
<i>room, as Mrs. Pampinelli passes her</i>] What is it,
Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Now, don’t get excited, Paula.
[<i>Mrs. Ritter steps frantically across to the piano and
turns, leaning against it, looking wide-eyed at Nelly
Fell.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Lift up his head.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Looking eagerly out into the
right hallway</i>] Is he hurt, boys?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I want to get him under the arms.
[<i>They lift Ritter onto a bench in the hallway. Nelly
Fell turns away from the center-door with an exclamation
of distress.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> We’d better lay him right here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Is it Fred, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I don’t know, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Addressing Hossefrosse and
Twiller</i>] You can lay him right here, boys, I think
it’ll be as good as any.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What is it, Florence, did Mr. Ritter
fall downstairs?</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I think so.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Covering her eyes and swaying</i>] Oh,
dear child, don’t! [<i>Florence puts her arm around
her and guides her towards the arm-chair at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Give me one of those pillows,
Teddy. [<i>He hands her a pillow from the partition-seat
where he’s kneeling.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Sinking into the arm-chair at the
left</i>] Betty, I think I’m going to faint!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to her</i>] Sit down,
dear, I’ll get you some water. [<i>Calling and beckoning
out into the left hallway</i>] Jenny dear! come here,
please!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Rushing across from the right to
the left hallway</i>] I think I’d better call Dr. Wentworth.
[<i>He snatches up the telephone and works the
hook violently.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, I would. [<i>She turns
around to her left and stands looking questioningly
at Mrs. Ritter.</i>] Go on with your lines, Paula.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Well, is he <i>dead</i>, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a definite little gesture
of her right hand</i>] Never mind! [<i>The curtain commences
to descend, and she sweeps forward.</i>] We will
go right on from where Mr. Ritter fell downstairs.</p>
<p class="center">THE CURTAIN IS DOWN</p>
<p class="center"><span class="smcap">As it Rises Again for the Picture</span></p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>At the telephone</i>] Landsdowne 8,
please,—right away! [<i>Spindler rushes in from the
left hallway carrying a glass of water, and followed
immediately by Jenny. Twiller is ministering to Ritter.
Mrs. Pampinelli is standing in the middle of the
room, facing the center-door, and holding up both her
hands, as a signal to the various artists that the rehearsal
is about to be resumed; so they quickly step</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</SPAN></span>
<i>to the various positions in which they respectively were
when Mr. Ritter fell.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Addressing Teddy</i>] Yes, I know
he was. I s’pose I’d better leave a note for him.</p>
<p class="center">END OF THE ACT</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</SPAN></span>
<h2 class="nobreak">THE TORCH-BEARERS—ACT II.</h2></div>
<p>NOTE:</p>
<p>The setting for this act consists simply of three
wings set in the middle of the stage about four feet
from the footlights, and parallel to the footlights, the
wing in the middle, a plain one, and the one on
either side of it, a door-wing. These doors open toward
the footlights, and the one on the right is hinged
to the right, and the one on the left, to the left.
From these door-wings, regular plain wings oblique
off to the back wall; and the whole thing is lashed
and stage-screwed after the fashion of regulation stage-setting.
As the doors in the back flat open, there
can be had a glimpse of footlights, and just beyond
them, a neutral drop, in grayish black, to represent
an auditorium. Between the back flat and the stage
footlights, (as distinguished from the regular footlights)
the miniature stage is set to represent the interior
of a doctor’s waiting-room. Through the door
at the right can be seen a desk and revolving chair,
and a couple of plain chairs against the wall; and
through the left door, a table, littered with magazines,
a cabinet, a revolving bookcase and two more chairs.
There is a bright rug on the floor. Between the
back flat and the regular footlights, over toward the
left, there is a stage-screw sticking right up out of
the floor; and between the two doors there is a plain
chair with its back against the flat. Over the door<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</SPAN></span>
on the right, there is a row of six electric bulbs with
a cord and button depending from it; and further
right, half-way back, there is a wood-wing, set as
though it were the exterior backing for a window in
the miniature set. Over at the left, away back,
fastened about head-high against the back wall, there
is a small switchboard-arrangement. Just below this
there is an old chair, without a back, with a newspaper
lying upon it.</p>
<p class="ph2">THE TORCH-BEARERS—ACT II.</p>
<p><i>A waltz is being played somewhere off at the right.
Florence and Mrs. Ritter are standing in the middle
of the stage, facing the flats, talking. Florence is
wearing a fawn-colored, one-piece coat-dress, buttoned
high at the throat, military fashion, and a toque made
of wine-colored velvet leaves. She wears fawn-colored
slippers and stockings, and carries a fitch muff.
Mrs. Ritter is wearing a very rich-looking coat-suit
in blue serge, trimmed at the collar and cuffs
with white monkey-fur. Her hat is dark-blue felt,
quite large, with a bird of paradise set at a decidedly
rakish tilt. Her slippers and stockings are black,
and she carries an umbrella. Over at the extreme
left, and forward, Mrs. Fell is hearing Mr. Twiller
read his lines from the manuscript. Mrs. Fell is gowned
in a brilliant creation of silver-cloth trimmed with</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</SPAN></span>
<i>sea-green satin. There are numerous strings of crystal
beads hanging in the front from the waist to the
bottom of the skirt, and she has a spreading poinsetta
in scarlet velvet fastened at her waist. There is a
long, fish-tail train to the gown, lined with the green
satin, and she has a heavy rope of pearls and sea-green
beads around her neck, from which her lorgnon
depends. There are diamonds in her hair, diamonds
galore upon her arms and hands, and she’s wearing
her diamond dog-collar. Her slippers and stockings
are of pale green. Mr. Twiller has on a double-breasted
blue-serge suit, a black derby, black shoes and
fawn-colored spats, and a perfectly villainous-looking
black mustache, absurdly large, and obviously artificial.
He stands leaning upon a cane, reciting his lines
to Mrs. Fell. Mr. Spindler, in a dinner-suit, is trying
desperately to unfasten the stage-screw from the
floor at the left, while Mr. Hossefrosse, wearing a
light business-suit, a light, soft hat, tan shoes and spats,
and carrying a cane and gloves, is pacing back and
forth between the left door and the extreme left, reciting
his lines to himself. He is atrociously made up,
with the carmine smeared heavily on his cheek-bones.
The stage manager, in a tan jumper and army shirt,
dirty white running-pumps, a battered old cap adorned
with many tobacco-tags, and carrying a hammer, wanders
on from the right and crosses the stage, passing
below Florence and Mrs. Ritter, who turn and look
at him curiously, and continues on up at the left to</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</SPAN></span>
<i>the switch-board, where he picks up the newspaper from
the broken chair, and, after lighting his pipe, sits down
to read. He is apparently disgusted with the world
and utterly oblivious of his surroundings. The waltz-music
stops, and Mr. Hossefrosse comes to a halt in
his pacing, right outside the left door. It is instantly
flung open, knocking him toward the left, and disarranging
his hat, and Mrs. Pampinelli sweeps out—in
a princess-gown of ruby-colored velvet, with a long
train, and heavily trimmed about the upper part of
the bodice with ornaments of ruby-colored beads. Her
shoulders and arms are bare, and she has a small string
of rubies about her throat;—a bracelet and several
rings of rubies; as well as a high Spanish comb studded
with rubies. Her slippers are of black velvet.
Mrs. Ritter gives a little cry as Mr. Hossefrosse is
struck by the door.</i></p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Holding the door ajar</i>] Oh,
did I hit you, Mr. Hossefrosse! I’m so sorry.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Settling his hat</i>] That’s all right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To the ladies</i>] The setting
looks splendid, girls! [<i>Crossing quickly below Hossefrosse
towards the left</i>] Will you come here for a moment,
Mr. Spindler?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning away to the right</i>] I don’t
want to see it till I go on.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>As Hossefrosse comes towards her</i>]
You’d better keep away from that door, Mr. Hossefrosse.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</SPAN></span>
[<i>She and Mrs. Ritter laugh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Yes, I think I had.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Up at the left, addressing the
stage manager</i>] Are you ready, Mr. Stage Manager?
[<i>He continues to read.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Brushing his clothes</i>] I don’t think
a whisk-broom’d be out of place on this stage, either.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to Spindler, who is
still occupied with the stage-screw</i>] Mr. Spindler, will
you come here, please? [<i>Turning back to the stage
manager</i>] Mr. Stage Manager! [<i>Spindler goes towards
her, and Hossefrosse goes through the left door.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> [<i>Looking up from his paper, very
peevishly</i>] Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Are you all ready?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager</span> and <span class="smcap">Twiller</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> Yes, sure, I’m all ready. [<i>He
resumes his newspaper.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Turning sharply to Spindler, who has
stopped on his way to Mrs. Pampinelli to call Mrs.
Fell’s attention to the stage-screw, and to warn her
to be careful of it</i>] Oh, go away! Can’t you see we’re
busy.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Stepping briskly to her side</i>] Yes, mam?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Come here, please. [<i>Turning
to the stage manager</i>] Mr. Stage Manager—[<i>He looks</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</SPAN></span>
<i>up.</i>] This young man will give you the cue for the
curtain, in case I am not here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> All right. [<i>He resumes his
newspaper.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning and coming forward
again, holding her skirt up off the floor</i>] You stand
right here, Mr. Spindler, and I’ll give you the signal
when I’m ready.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> All right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Hurrying towards the left door</i>]
Now, is everybody all right?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I think so.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> How are <i>you</i>, Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Giggling</i>] All right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Where’s Mr. Hossefrosse?
[<i>She glances frantically about.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> He’s just stepped on the stage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> He was here a minute ago.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Hossefrosse, where are you!
[<i>She opens the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Calling</i>] Mr. Hossefrosse! [<i>He
opens the right door and comes out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Sitting at the desk over at the right, in
the miniature set beyond the flats, to Mrs. Pampinelli,
as she comes through the left door</i>] There he is.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Teddy, as she steps into
the miniature set, through the left door</i>] Where’s Mr.
Hossefrosse?</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>To Hossefrosse</i>] Mrs. Pampinelli’s
looking for you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Calling</i>] Here he is, Mrs. Pampinelli!
[<i>Hossefrosse steps quickly to the left door and
starts in, just as Mrs. Pampinelli comes out through
the right door. Florence steps over to the left door
and catches Hossefrosse by the arm, and pulls him back.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming through the right
door</i>] Where <i>is</i> he?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Pointing to Hossefrosse</i>] There he
is! [<i>She laughs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Drawing Hossefrosse back</i>] Mrs. Pampinelli
wants you!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] I beg your
pardon.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, Mr. Hossefrosse!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Crossing to the right towards her</i>]
Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Are you all right?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I think so, yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> How is your make-up?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> All right, I think.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Indicating the right door</i>]
Would you stand here for a moment under this light
until I see it?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Certainly. [<i>He goes to the right door
and stands with his back against it. The light from
the row of electric bulbs over the door shines down on
his face. Mrs. Pampinelli stands off to his right, surveying
his make-up critically.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Very good.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Not too much red?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, I shouldn’t say so.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Indicating his right cheek</i>] Up here,
I mean.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, I think the contour of your
face requires it. It heightens the expression. [<i>She
starts across towards the left.</i>] It’s very good. [<i>Hossefrosse
comes over and chats with the ladies about his
make-up.</i>] Mr. Twiller! [<i>Twiller turns from Mrs.
Fell.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Yes? [<i>Turning back to Mrs. Fell</i>] Excuse
me, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Certainly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> How is your mustache?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Touching it gingerly</i>] All right, I
think.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Is it quite secure?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I think so. [<i>Mrs. Ritter, Florence and
Hossefrosse turn and look.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Stepping back a step from him
and looking at the mustache, with her head tilted a bit
to the left side</i>] You’ve made it a little smaller, haven’t
you?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Touching the left side of his mustache</i>]
I cut it down a bit on this side.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I thought you had.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I was a little conscious of it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well,—I don’t know but that
it’s better for the characterization.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> And how are my eyes? [<i>He turns and
looks out and away off, widening his eyes as though
he were having his picture taken.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>After looking keenly at his eyes
for a second</i>] Very effective. [<i>She turns quickly away
towards the right, and Twiller turns back to his left
to Mrs. Fell.</i>] Now, is everybody ready? [<i>They all
smile and nod.</i>] Your gloves and cane, Mr. Hossefrosse?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Crossing above Florence and Mrs.
Ritter towards Mrs. Pampinelli, extending his cane
and gloves</i>] Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning towards Mrs. Fell</i>]
Places, Nelly! Get ready, Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> I’m all ready. [<i>Mrs. Fell closes the manuscript,
excuses herself to Twiller, and crosses, above
him, towards the right. He goes back at the left and
says something to Spindler, then comes forward again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Calling through the left door</i>]
Are you all right, Teddy?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats, over at the right</i>] All
right. [<i>As Mrs. Fell passes above Florence and Mrs.
Ritter, on her way over to the right, she whispers something</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</SPAN></span>
<i>to them which causes a general laugh:—then she
continues on over to the door at the right and takes
up her official position, as promptress.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning and addressing them
generally</i>] Now, is everybody all right? [<i>They all
nod.</i>] You both all right, girls? [<i>Mrs. Ritter nods.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> All right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning around to the left to
Mr. Spindler, and with an authoritative gesture</i>] All
right, then—take up the curtain!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Waving his hand to the stage manager</i>]
All right, Stage Manager!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> [<i>Getting up, very reluctantly</i>]
Are you ready?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, all ready.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Let her go!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a kind of ceremonious
flourish of the hand</i>] Take up the curtain! [<i>The
stage manager tosses his newspaper onto the chair and
steps out of sight, to the left. There is an anxious
pause. Then Mrs. Pampinelli starts violently and
grabs the knob of the left door.</i>] Oh, wait one moment!
[<i>Spindler rushes back at the left, whistling.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span>, <span class="smcap">Twiller</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>,
together, [<i>as Mrs. Pampinelli pulls open the
left door.</i>]</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Wait a minute!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, wait!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Hold it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Grabbing the door and holding it
open</i>] Not yet!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Calling to the stage manager</i>] Just
a minute!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Going in through the left
door</i>] One moment, please! [<i>She vanishes to the
right, and there is a slight pause, during which the
curtain, which had been raised four feet, can be seen
through the door to descend again. They all exchange
looks of distress and amused annoyance. Then Mrs.
Pampinelli hurries out through the door again.</i>] All
right!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Who has come forward at the left</i>] Is
it all right? [<i>Hossefrosse releases the door and it
closes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, it’s all right. [<i>Spindler
goes towards the back at the left and she follows him
half-way.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> All right, Mr. Stage Manager!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> [<i>Off at the left</i>] Are you ready?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, all ready, Mr. Stage Manager!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Let her go!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning and coming forward
at the left</i>] Take it up! [<i>She stands just to the left
of the left door, peering through the flats. Spindler
is farther back at the left, peering, also; and Mrs. Fell</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</SPAN></span>
<i>is over at the right door, peering. There is a pause.
Mr. Hossefrosse takes up his position outside the left
door, preparatory to making his entrance. He settles
his clothes generally, and clears his throat.</i>] The curtain
is going up, Mr. Hossefrosse, go on.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Is it up?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, yes, go on! [<i>He opens
the door, rather magnificently, and swings in. There
is a ripple of applause, and the door closes after him;
and they all try to find a crevice between the flats that
will afford a glimpse of the stage beyond. The stage
manager appears from the left carrying a regulation
door-slam, which he brings forward and drops, with
a bang, just to the left of the left door. They all
turn and look at him, in resentful astonishment, but
he simply gives them a look of infinite disdain and returns
to his chair at the back to read.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Anybody here,
David?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats, over toward the right</i>]
No, sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats, moving towards
the right</i>] No telephones?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> No, sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Coming through the right door,
without his hat</i>] Nothing at all, eh? [<i>Mrs. Ritter
is standing right in front of the door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Get away from the door, Paula!
[<i>Paula jumps to the left. Mrs. Fell takes advantage</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</SPAN></span>
<i>of the crevice caused by the door being open, to try to
see the audience.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Who can be seen through the open door
standing at the desk</i>] No, sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Leaning over and laying his cane
and gloves on the chair between the doors</i>] All right,
sir. [<i>The door begins to swing to behind him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Keep that door open, Mr.
Hossefrosse! [<i>Spindler comes forward at the left to
see what’s the matter. Hossefrosse thrusts his foot back
and kicks the door open.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> And I think that will do very nicely
for this day. [<i>The door begins slowly to swing to
again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> There it goes again, Mr.
Hossefrosse!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> It won’t <i>stay</i> open! [<i>Mrs. Fell looks
around the door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Take hold of that door, Nelly!
[<i>Nelly puts one foot around it, and stands looking
at her manuscript. Spindler goes back at the left and
looks through the wings again, at the stage.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>In a frantic whisper</i>] Telephone!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Telephone, somebody!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Good Lord!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Mr. Spindler, telephone! [<i>Spindler
rushes forward at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Where is he?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> What?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> The telephone-bell!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Where’s your bell?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Pulling the battery-arrangement out of
his pocket</i>] Has the cue been given?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Picking up the telephone on the desk beyond
the flats</i>] Hello?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Ring it! Of course it’s been
given! [<i>He rings the bell, and Hossefrosse steps
through the right door and watches Teddy anxiously.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> I didn’t hear it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Annihilating him with a look,
and starting over towards the right door</i>] Well, why
aren’t you over here when your cue’s given and then
you would hear it! [<i>Spindler trails over after her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Over his shoulder, to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
Shush!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning sharply back towards
the left, and directly to Spindler, who is right behind
her</i>] Shush! [<i>She passes below him and continues
towards the left.</i>] Keep away from that door, they’ll
see you! [<i>In attempting to keep out of the way of the
door, Spindler turns sharply and trips over the screw
of a stage-brace, falling his length across the open door.
Mrs. Ritter gives a little scream, and Mrs. Pampinelli
whirls round and glares at him. He scrambles to his
feet, and Mrs. Ritter giggles and pulls him to the left,
away from the door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Standing in the open door, addressing
Teddy</i>] Mrs. A.? [<i>Teddy nods, and Hossefrosse</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</SPAN></span>
<i>pretends to pick up an imaginary telephone from
a desk just to the left of the right door.</i>] Yes? All
right. [<i>He pretends to hang up and set the telephone
down on the desk again.</i>] You can clear out of here
now, David, any time you like,—Mrs. Arlington is on
her way up.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Rising, and settling the various papers on
the desk</i>] All right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Helping Mr. Spindler to brush off
his clothes</i>] Did you hurt yourself, Mr. Spindler?
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli tries to attract Spindler’s attention
to the door-slam.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> No. [<i>He hurries over to the door-slam
at the left and picks it up.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> I’ll let you off early Monday. [<i>Florence
stands anxiously outside the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Oh, that’s all right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> And don’t forget to leave that list
with the Robinson people on your way down Monday.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> No, sir, I won’t; I have it right here in me
pocket. [<i>Florence puts her lips against the left door
and coughs hard. Then she shuffles her feet; so does
Spindler. Hossefrosse steps through the right door and
looks over toward the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Addressing Teddy, in a subdued
tone</i>] Is that someone coming?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Looking toward the left door</i>] I think so.
[<i>There is a slight pause, then Mrs. Pampinelli makes
a decisive movement to Spindler and he brings the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</SPAN></span>
<i>door-slam down with a thunderous bang. Mrs. Pampinelli
starts violently.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That’s too loud, Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> There’s too much wood in it! [<i>He
starts across to the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Stepping down to Teddy’s desk and
picking up his hat</i>] That can’t be Mrs. Arlington
already. I won’t see anyone else. [<i>He starts back towards
the door.</i>] Tell them I’ve gone; and don’t let
anybody wait. [<i>He takes hold of the door as he steps
through.</i>] Say you’re just locking up the office. [<i>He
comes through the door and tries to close it, but Nelly’s
foot is still around it, and she is lost in the manuscript.
He pulls at the door, but she is oblivious.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Nelly! [<i>Spindler gives a little
whistle to attract her attention.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Let go of the door, Nelly!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Jumping out of the way, to the right</i>]
Oh, I beg your pardon! [<i>Hossefrosse scowls at her
and closes the door. Spindler jumps to the door and
turns a key, which he has in his hand, in the lock, then
touches the button at the end of the cord, extinguishing
the row of lights over the door, then rushes back towards
the left door. Mrs. Ritter is right in his way
as he rushes back, and they dodge each other twice
before Mr. Spindler can get past. When he reaches
the left door, he raps violently, Mrs. Pampinelli directing
his activities with little nervous gestures. There</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</SPAN></span>
<i>is a pause: then the left door is opened by Teddy.
Mrs. Ritter is right in front of it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing to the left of the
door</i>] Get out of the way, Paula! [<i>Mrs. Ritter
jumps out of the way, to the right, then looks back
at Mrs. Pampinelli and giggles, but Mrs. Pampinelli
puts her finger on her lips.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Passing through the left door</i>] Good
evening, son.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Reaching out and closing the door</i>] Good
evening. [<i>There is prolonged applause from beyond
the flats, and everybody, having seen Florence safely
through the door, rushes to his favorite crevice between
the wings, or rip in the scenery, to see how she is being
received by the audience.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Isn’t the Doctor in?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> No, mam, he ain’t; he went about six
o’clock.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> That’s unfortunate, I wanted to see
him. [<i>Hossefrosse turns away from the right door,
where he’s been peeking, and mops his brow: then he
turns and puts his hat down on the chair.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Stepping towards him from the left
door</i>] How do you feel?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> All right; but that door and that
telephone got me kind of rattled.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Looking over from the extreme
left of the back flat, where she has been peeking</i>]
Shush, boys! [<i>Hossefrosse turns away and tiptoes towards</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</SPAN></span>
<i>the right, and the others resume their peeking.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning to Hossefrosse, as he passes
below her</i>] What’s the matter, Huxley, did something
go wrong? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli looks over again to see
who’s talking.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Indicating the right door</i>] That
door kind of got me rattled for a minute.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I don’t think the audience noticed it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Shush! [<i>Nelly consults her manuscript,
listening at the same time to the dialogue beyond
the flats, and Mr. Hossefrosse continues to the
extreme right and forward, trying to make the squeak
of his new shoes as inaudible as possible. Mrs. Pampinelli
puts her ear to the flat and listens keenly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Faintly, beyond the flats</i>] Why, he always
asts me to wait whenever he’s expectin’ his wife downtown.
[<i>Spindler suddenly turns from the wing where
he has been peeking, and, breaking into quite a jaunty
little whistle, starts across towards the left; but Mrs.
Pampinelli turns abruptly and glares him into silence.
He clasps his hand over his mouth and apologizes with
an obsequious little gesture.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] I see. And he was
expecting her this evening?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Yes, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Do you know her? [<i>Spindler trips and
almost falls over the stage-screw in the floor at the
left. Twiller, who has been standing down at the extreme</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</SPAN></span>
<i>left, makes an impatient move and goes up towards
the back.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, Mr. Spindler, for Pity’s
sake do keep still for one moment!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Squatting down and attempting to remove
the screw</i>] We’d better get this thing out of
here, before somebody gets hurt.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Now, don’t take that out of
there, Mr. Spindler! You might loosen the scenery.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> This isn’t connected with the scenery.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You don’t know whether it is
or not! Leave it where it is.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Getting up and moving over towards
the right</i>] Somebody’s going to get their neck broken,
the first thing you know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Very well, then, that will be
their misfortune! We’ve simply got to be careful,
that’s all. Get ready, Paula. [<i>Mrs. Ritter giggles
and takes up her position outside the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>As Spindler comes towards her</i>]
What’s the matter, Mr. Spindler?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>In quite a temper, and indicating the
stage-screw over at the left</i>] Why, that thing there is
sticking right up in the middle of the floor, and the
first thing you—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Shush!—[<i>He turns and scowls
at her, and she glares at him. He passes below Mrs.
Fell and over to Hossefrosse, at the extreme right and
forward, where he whispers his grievance.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> You all right, Paula? [<i>Paula nods
yes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Don’t be nervous, now, Paula.
[<i>Twiller comes forward at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I’m not the least bit, dear, really.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, that’s splendid, dear.
I’ll open the door for you. [<i>She takes hold of the knob
of the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> All right, thank you. [<i>They stand
listening, keenly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Do you mind if I
wait a few minutes, in case he comes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Why, I was just going
home.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Oh, were you? [<i>Twiller lifts his hat
and gives it a little wave at Mrs. Ritter, and she waves
her hand back at him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Yes, mam; and I have to lock up the office
before I go.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Suddenly</i>] There it is now,
dear. [<i>She opens the door, and Mrs. Ritter steps back
a bit, in order to make a more effective entrance.</i>]
Good luck, darling.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to her</i>] Thank you, dear.
[<i>She steps through the door, tripping awkwardly over
the door-strip. Mrs. Pampinelli makes a gesture of extreme
annoyance. There is an outburst of applause;
then Mrs. Pampinelli closes the door, and they all step
to the flats and peek through, Mrs. Pampinelli at the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</SPAN></span>
<i>left door, Mrs. Fell at the right, Mr. Spindler between
them, and Hossefrosse and Twiller about half-way
back at the right and left, respectively. There is a
pause; and then Mrs. Ritter can be heard beyond the
flats.</i>] Hello, kid!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Hello, Mrs. Arlington.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Is my sweetie in?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> No, mam, he ain’t.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>With an unnatural inflection</i>]
What!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Calling over in a whisper to Mrs.
Pampinelli</i>] Betty! [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli doesn’t hear her,
so she tiptoes over towards her.</i>] Betty!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Did Paula trip?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming away from the flat,
and moving down to Mrs. Fell</i>] Yes. [<i>Mrs. Fell
gives an annoyed shake of her head.</i>] But I don’t see
how anyone can get onto <i>that</i> stage <i>without</i> tripping.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I don’t either.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> It seems an utter impossibility
to me for anyone, especially a woman, to get through
those doors without catching her heel or her skirt or
something. [<i>Spindler crosses to the left, back of the
ladies, and speaks to Twiller.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Returning to the right door</i>] It’s
dreadful!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to her left and going</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</SPAN></span>
<i>back again to the left door</i>] I don’t see the necessity
of it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Opening her manuscript</i>] I don’t
either.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Listening keenly</i>] I’m afraid
they’re not hearing Paula at all.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I say, I’m afraid Paula isn’t
loud enough.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Well, why don’t you speak to her,
Betty, she’s sitting right here. [<i>She indicates the point
right inside the right door, and Mrs. Pampinelli, picking
up her skirt, hurries over. Mrs. Fell steps out of
the way, to the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Putting her lips to the joining
of the door-wing and the side wing</i>] Speak a little
louder, Paula! I’m afraid they’re not hearing you!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Can she hear you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> A little louder, dear! [<i>The
right door is thrust open by Teddy.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>In a frantic whisper</i>] There’s no pen and
ink on the desk! [<i>Spindler rushes over from the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> What? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli, Mrs. Fell
and Mr. Hossefrosse rush round to him from the
right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> No pen and ink!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What is it, Teddy?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> No pen and ink on the desk!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> No pen and ink!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> My God!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Tell her to use a lead-pencil!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span>—[<i>To Mrs. Fell</i>] There’s none on there!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Give him a lead-pencil, Mr.
Spindler!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Whirling and springing towards the
left</i>] Haven’t got one! [<i>Teddy, Mrs. Pampinelli and
Mrs. Fell rush after him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Twiller!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, dear, dear!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Rushing towards them from the left</i>]
What’s the matter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler</span> and <span class="smcap">Teddy</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Got a lead-pencil?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Give him a lead-pencil, Ralph!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Dropping his cane</i>] No! [<i>They fling
him out of the way, to the left, and rush on back to
the stage manager.</i>] What are you trying to do, knock
me off my feet!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Haven’t you got one, Mr.
Twiller?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>To the stage manager</i>] Got a lead-pencil,
old man?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>At Mrs. Pampinelli’s heels</i>] There’s
one in my bag somewhere!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Spindler</span> and <span class="smcap">Teddy</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Fell</i>] See
what they’re doing out there, Nelly!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>To the stage manager</i>] Or a fountain-pen!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>To the stage manager</i>] They need it on the
stage!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Stage Manager</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning and rushing back towards the
right door</i>] Certainly, darling!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> [<i>Feeling in his shirt-pockets</i>]
Well, now, wait a minute, wait a minute!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning with a despairing gesture, after
having opened the right door and looked in</i>] My
dear, they’re not doing a thing, they’re just sitting
there!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to the left</i>] Hurry,
boys! [<i>Turning to the right</i>] Tell them to say something,
Nelly! Anything at all! Something about the
weather! [<i>Nelly runs to the extreme right end of the
flat. Teddy and Spindler come rushing forward at
the left.</i>] Did you get it, Teddy?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Yes!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Yes, he’s got it!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Indicating the left door</i>] Go
on here, Teddy! [<i>He grabs the knob of the door,
but it won’t open.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Calling through the flats</i>] Say something,
Paula!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You should never leave the
stage during a scene, Teddy!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Wrestling with the door</i>] Damn these
doors!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Calling through the flats</i>] Something
about the weather!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Take hold of this, Mr. Spindler!
[<i>He grabs the knob of the door and Teddy runs
across to the right door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> I’ll go on here!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>As Teddy goes through the right door</i>]
If you can’t use one door, use the other! [<i>The door
closes after him; and Mrs. Pampinelli turns and looks
upon Spindler, who is still trying to get the left door
open.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You know, this is <i>all your
fault</i>, Mr. Spindler. [<i>He doesn’t look up.</i>] You
said you’d attend to all those properties!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What’s the matter with the door,
Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Spindler</i>] Never mind it
now. [<i>She moves towards the center of the stage.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> We’d better get it open before somebody
has to use it again.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Go away from it, I tell you!
[<i>He walks away towards the left, sulking.</i>] It will<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</SPAN></span>
probably open all right from the other side. [<i>She
comes forward slowly, touching her hair and relaxing
generally, then, suddenly, stands stock-still, and listens,
wide-eyed. She looks quickly at Mrs. Fell, who is carefully
settling her necklace, at the right door.</i>] What’s
wrong out there, Nelly? [<i>Nelly turns and looks
through the flats, then turns quickly to Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I think he’s up!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Frozen to the spot</i>] Who?
[<i>Nelly looks again, and then back to Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> All of them!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Picking up her skirt and rushing
towards the right door</i>] Let me see! [<i>Nelly
jumps out of the way, to the right, and Twiller and
Spindler rush to the left door and peek through. Mrs.
Pampinelli peeks through, and then speaks through the
flats.</i>] What’s the matter, Teddy? Go over and get
your hat and coat! [<i>Turning frantically to Mrs. Fell</i>]
He’s up in his lines! What is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>In a panic</i>] Up in his lines!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Speaking through the flats</i>] Go
over and get your hat and coat, Teddy! Don’t stand
there like a jack!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Handing the manuscript to Hossefrosse,
who is at her right</i>] Oh, find that for me, will
you, Huxley! [<i>He takes the manuscript from her and</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</SPAN></span>
<i>turns it over furiously, while Nelly opens her lorgnon.</i>]
About page eleven, I think it is! [<i>She assists him in
finding the place.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What was the last line, Nelly?
This is dreadful!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Now, wait a moment, darling! Don’t
get me nervous, or I’ll <i>never</i> be able to find it! [<i>Twiller
and Spindler are in a panic of suspense over at the
left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Here’s page eleven.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Is that eleven? Well, now, here it is,
right here— Why, a— I’ll get you an envelope!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What’s the next?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> The next is—a—why a—I’ve got to
go now—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> It takes me nearly an hour to get
home!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Calling through the flats</i>] I’ve
got to go now!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] I’ve got to go now!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Calling through the flats</i>] It
takes me nearly an hour to get home.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> It takes me an hour to get home!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Are they all right?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming away from the flats</i>]
Yes, they’re all right now. But you’d better stand<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</SPAN></span>
right here, I’m afraid of Paula. [<i>She moves towards
the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Coming towards her</i>] You know, I
could have <i>sworn</i> I put a pen and ink on that desk!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Imperiously</i>] Please, Mr.
Spindler, don’t explain anything! I am interested in
results. [<i>She turns and moves back again towards the
right, and Spindler goes over to the left. Just as he
passes beyond the left door, the entire lock and knob
fall to the floor. He turns nervously, only to find
Mrs. Pampinelli, who has turned quite as nervously,
looking at him dangerously.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> I didn’t <i>touch</i> it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Will you go away, before you
ruin the entire performance! [<i>He snaps around and
goes over to the left and up towards the back.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Opening the left door and swaying
through</i>] Good night. [<i>He is dressed in a brown
sack-suit and wears tan shoes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Good night, son.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Good night, kid.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Going towards him</i>] You
should <i>never</i> walk off the stage, Teddy, in the middle
of a scene! [<i>He closes the door behind him, and,
pressing his hand to his brow, starts towards the left.</i>]
Do something, no matter what it is! [<i>He falls backward
in a full-length faint. She catches him.</i>] Oh,
dear child! Mr. Spindler! Come here, Mr. Twiller,
Teddy’s fainted! [<i>Twiller, who has been standing</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</SPAN></span>
<i>over at the left, and forward, rushes towards her; and
Mrs. Fell, followed by Hossefrosse, comes rushing
from the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>In a panic</i>] What’s the matter, Betty!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Take Teddy over to the door,
Mr. Twiller, he’s fainted!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Dropping his cane, in his excitement</i>]
I <i>can’t</i> take him now, I’ve got a cue coming right
here in a minute! [<i>Spindler comes rushing down from
the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Here, Mr. Spindler, take
Teddy over to the door, where he’ll get some air!
He’s sick. Look at the color of him. [<i>She hands him
to Spindler, who half carries him up at the left; and
she and Twiller follow on behind them.</i>] Hold on to
him, now, Mr. Spindler.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning back towards the right door,
and addressing Hossefrosse, who has returned to his
former position down at the right</i>] I always said he
wasn’t strong enough for that part! [<i>She just gets
past the right door when it is frantically opened and
Mrs. Ritter thrusts her head out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Breathlessly</i>] Mr. Twiller! [<i>The
door closes again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Running towards the left</i>] Mr.
Twiller! They’re waiting for you!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Rushing forward at the left</i>]
What is it?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>In a perfect frenzy</i>] They’re waiting
for Mr. Twiller!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Twiller! [<i>He snatches
up his cane from the floor, but the hook of it catches
in the stage-brace, and he has considerable yanking to
do to get it loose. Mrs. Fell raps on the left door.</i>]
Go on, Mr. Twiller, for Heaven’s sake! the stage is
waiting! [<i>She pulls the door open for him. He
straightens his hat and then raps on the wing beside
the door.</i>] Oh, go on! never mind rapping! that’s been
done! [<i>He steps through the door and she slams it
after him, catching his left arm and hand. The cane
is in his left hand, and it falls at Mrs. Pampinelli’s
feet. She pulls the door open again to release his arm;
then gives the door a definite slam. A burst of applause
greets Twiller’s entrance. Mrs. Pampinelli is in a perfect
wrath. She sweeps across towards the right, and
back again all the way across to the left; then turns
and starts back towards the right. As she passes the
left door she sees Twiller’s cane, and, realizing in a
flash that he will have need of it in his scene, she picks
it up, opens the left door slightly, and flings it in onto
the stage. Then she continues on towards the right,
turns and crosses back again to the left, holding up her
skirt and bristling with temper.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Back at the right door, speaking to
Hossefrosse, down at the right</i>] How are my eyes?
Instead of paying attention to his part!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming across to the right</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</SPAN></span>
People rehearsing their cues a thousand times, and then
don’t know them when they hear them! It’s positively
disgusting! [<i>She turns and goes back again to the left,
turns, and starts back to the right. Hossefrosse tiptoes
towards her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> What happened to Teddy, did he
get sick out there?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, just a little reaction.
[<i>Hossefrosse nods comprehendingly.</i>] He gives too
much to the scene. He doesn’t understand emotional
conservation yet. [<i>Hossefrosse shakes his head knowingly
and returns to the right, and Mrs. Pampinelli
steps to the left door and listens.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Just audibly, beyond the flats</i>] She’s
waiting for my very unpunctual husband. In fact,
we are both waiting for him, to be precise. But I’ve
just been telling her I’m afraid we may as well give
it up, for he’s never kept an appointment in his life.
I’m sorry he isn’t here, if you wanted to see him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] I don’t know whether
I wanted to see him or not; it depends.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I don’t understand you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I don’t fully understand myself! [<i>There
is a very general laugh from beyond the flats. Mrs.
Pampinelli looks anxiously at Nelly, and Nelly looks
up at her from the manuscript.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What was <i>that</i>?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Not having caught what she said</i>]
What?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What was that the audience
was laughing at? [<i>Mrs. Fell peeks through at the
door where she is standing, then turns desperately to
Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Half of Mr. Twiller’s mustache fell
off! [<i>She looks through the peek again. Mrs. Pampinelli
puts her hand against her brow and leans upon
the stage-brace, the picture of tragedy. Mrs. Fell turns
to her again.</i>] I don’t think the audience noticed it, he
stuck it right on again!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That doesn’t matter, there is
absolutely no excuse for it! He’s been here since four
o’clock this afternoon! [<i>She crosses towards the left
and back again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] What sort of a rumor
was it, Mr. Rush, if I may ask?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] The usual kind.
[<i>There’s another laugh from beyond the flats, and
Mrs. Pampinelli stands petrified, just below the left
door. Mrs. Fell turns quickly and peeks, then turns
to Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Despairingly</i>] It fell off again! [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli raises her fists and shakes them.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, why on earth hasn’t he
brains enough to leave it off!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> He has his hat on, too! [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
steps to the left door and speaks through it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Leave your mustache <i>off</i>, Mr.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</SPAN></span>
Twiller! Leave it <i>off</i>!—And take off your <i>hat</i>, you’re
inside. [<i>Hossefrosse tiptoes over from the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> What’s the matter, did his mustache
fall off?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, twice; and he keeps sticking
it on again. [<i>He shakes his head regretfully and
tiptoes back to the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] It’s perfectly ridiculous!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Too bad my husband
isn’t here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Yes, it is; I had counted
upon seeing him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I’m sure he’d be able to explain.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Well, I hope he would!—the thing is
damned annoying! [<i>Mrs. Ritter gives an unearthly
laugh, which is supposed to express derision. Mrs.
Fell looks up from her manuscript, and Mrs. Pampinelli
smiles and nods approvingly at her.</i>] Even if <i>you
don’t</i> appreciate it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Wonderful. [<i>She turns and smiles
and nods at Hossefrosse; then they all listen again.
The stage manager, who has arisen from his chair at
the sound of Mrs. Ritter’s disdainful laughter, comes
forward at the left, with his pipe in one hand and his
newspaper in the other. He has a puzzled, inquiring
expression, and looks from one to the other quizzically;
but Mrs. Pampinelli has her back to him, Mrs. Fell
is looking at her manuscript, and Mr. Hossefrosse’s</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</SPAN></span>
<i>face is, as usual, utterly expressionless, so he steps to
the juncture of the back flats with the side wings and
peeks through, curiously. Then he returns to his chair
up at the left, shaking his head from side to side.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] I don’t know what
it is, yet!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] You know very well
what it is!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> You haven’t told us.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> You’re here, aren’t you!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Well, that’s it, exactly! [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
smiles approvingly, and moves towards the
right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Calling Hossefrosse, who is engaged
in studying his lines from a paper, over at the
right</i>] Mr. Hossefrosse.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning to him</i>] Huxley! [<i>He looks
up, and tiptoes towards Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> How is this hall to speak in?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Why, I shouldn’t say it was good.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I thought not.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> It’s too big for the speaking voice.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a gesture</i>] You have to
<i>project</i> the tone, do you not?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Oh, yes, absolutely.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Taking a step towards the back
flat, and listening</i>] I’m afraid they’re not hearing
Paula at all.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Putting his fingers to his throat</i>] I’m
using my upper register almost entirely.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Glancing at him</i>] You’re very
fortunate to know how to do it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Did it sound all right from back
here?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, splendid, yes, Mr. Hossefrosse!—your
voice is beautiful. [<i>He raises his hand
deprecatingly.</i>] Really,—I was just saying to Mrs.
Fell, I’m so sorry there isn’t another act, that you
might sing a solo between them. [<i>He beams and deprecates
again, profusely, and turns to the right. Spindler
comes down at the left and towards Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]
Really! Splendid. [<i>She sees Spindler.</i>] Where’s
Teddy?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> He’s gone over to the drug store.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> With his make-up on?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> He said he wanted to get some aromatic
spirits of ammonia.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You have a cue right here soon,
haven’t you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Taking the telephone-arrangement from
his pocket, and crossing towards the right door</i>] Where
are they?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Suddenly looking up from her manuscript</i>]
Telephone, Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> There it is now, ring it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Shaking it desperately</i>] It won’t ring!
[<i>Mrs. Fell turns to Hossefrosse in desperation.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>,
together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Shake it harder, it rang before!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What’s the matter with the fool thing!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Hit it against something, Mr. Spindler!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> There’s something the matter with the
battery!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Audibly, from beyond the flats</i>] Hello!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Relaxing</i>] Let it go,—it’s too
late now. [<i>Spindler continues to tinker with it.</i>]
You’ve missed every other cue, [<i>She moves towards
the left.</i>] you may as well be consistent for the rest of
the evening.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Following her</i>] Well, good night! I
can’t help it if the electricity won’t work, can I?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning upon him furiously</i>]
You should have attended to it beforehand and then it
<i>would</i> work! [<i>Mrs. Fell waves her hand at them, to
be quiet.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Well, My God! I can’t be in a half-a-dozen
places at the same time!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Shush! [<i>Hossefrosse tiptoes up to her
and deplores the noise that Mrs. Pampinelli and Spindler
are making.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No one is asking you to be in
half-a-dozen places at the same time! You’ve simply
been asked to attend to your cues; and you’ve missed
every one you’ve had!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, together. Shush!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> You told me to take care of Teddy,
didn’t you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I told you to take him to the
door! I <i>didn’t</i> say to take him all the way to the drug
store!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Did you want me to let the man wander
off somewhere by himself, and maybe die!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Waving her manuscript at them</i>]
Shus—sh!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Just for the sake of not missing a cue!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With bitter amusement</i>] There
is very little danger of his dying! And even if he did
die, your duty is here! [<i>She points to the floor with
an imperative gesture. The right door is quietly pushed
open, and Twiller, with one-half of his mustache gone,
pokes his head out.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Shush! [<i>He glances from one side to the
other, withdraws his head, and quietly closes the door.
Spindler crosses below Mrs. Pampinelli, to the left,
then turns and looks at her angrily.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning to Hossefrosse</i>] What did I
tell you! Making more noise out here than they are
out there!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Still holding her gesture, but following
Spindler with her eyes</i>] Performances are never
interrupted simply because one of the artists happens
to die! If you were a professional you’d know that;<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</SPAN></span>
but you’re not! [<i>She turns away from him, towards
the right, and, simultaneously, the left door is opened,
almost striking her. She raises her arm to protect herself.
Mrs. Ritter is standing in the doorway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Speaking to Twiller, who is still beyond
the flats</i>] Look and see. [<i>The telephone-arrangement
in Spindler’s hands suddenly rings wildly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to him frantically</i>]
Oh, stop that thing! [<i>Mrs. Ritter glances furtively
over her left shoulder at Mrs. Pampinelli. Mrs. Fell
comes rushing over, motioning to Spindler to stop the
bell.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Struggling with the bell</i>] I can’t stop it!
[<i>Mrs. Ritter hastily steps back through the door and
pulls it to after her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, then, take it outside,
where they can’t hear it! [<i>Spindler scrambles towards
the back and out of sight at the left. Mrs. Pampinelli
starts back towards the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What’s the matter with that Spindler
man, anyway!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I don’t know what’s the matter
with him! I’ve given up thinking about him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> He acts to me like a person that
wouldn’t be in his right mind! [<i>She goes back towards
the right door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing in the middle of the
stage</i>] He’s simply not a professional, that’s all. [<i>The
left door opens again and Mrs. Ritter is standing in it.</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</SPAN></span>
<i>Mrs. Pampinelli turns suddenly and looks at her. Mrs.
Ritter repeats her unearthly laugh, which again arouses
the curiosity of the stage manager, to the extent that
he rises and comes forward again at the left to get a
look at her. Then he returns to his chair, taking the
door-slam with him, and standing it against the wing.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Addressing Twiller, beyond the
flats</i>] What about the gentlemen?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Jealous husbands,
chiefly, aren’t they? [<i>Twiller comes out through the
left door, past Mrs. Ritter.</i>] Didn’t you want to leave
a message for the Doctor, Mr. Rush? [<i>Twiller turns
right round and goes back to the door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Who, me?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> If you wish.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Having some difficulty seeing Florence
over Twiller’s right shoulder</i>] He might leave
an apology.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Very much annoyed, and stepping
close to the flat, just to the right of the door</i>]
Get out of the doorway, Mr. Twiller!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Perhaps we haven’t
convinced him of his mistake.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Trying desperately to attract
Twiller’s attention, and becoming more emphatic</i>] Get
out of the doorway, Mr. Twiller, you’re covering
Paula up!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Trying to talk to Florence over</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</SPAN></span>
<i>Twiller’s shoulder</i>] Well, he’ll apologize to me,
whether we’ve convinced him or not. [<i>Mrs. Fell and
Hossefrosse come over to see if they can be of any assistance.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Twiller</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Becoming desperate</i>] Paula!
[<i>Paula gives her a nervous glance.</i>] Will one of you go
farther in! Mr. Twiller!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Addressing Florence</i>] Have you convinced
yourselves? [<i>He gives Mrs. Pampinelli an irritated
look over his left shoulder.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> That there has been a mistake?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Go farther in, one of you!
[<i>Twiller gives her another look, then speaks to Florence.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Yes! [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli can contain herself
no longer, so, picking up her skirt, and holding her
hand against the left side of her head, she darts across
the open door, to the left, and speaks to them around
the edge of the door. Mrs. Fell, taking advantage of
the circumstance of Mrs. Pampinelli’s crossing, tiptoes
up to Twiller and strikes him on the left arm,
quite viciously, with the rolled manuscript. As a polite
remonstrance, he shakes his left hand and foot at
her. But, she is not dismayed, and repeats the attack,
even more viciously. Then he turns and glares at her,
and she turns away towards the right, desperately.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> A great mistake.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Disappointed? Because, you know,
we can <i>invent</i> a scandal, if you insist.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, what a man! What a man!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I’m afraid <i>my</i> presence here would be
a bit incongruous, even for that.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Go farther in, Mr. Twiller,
don’t both of you stand wedged in the doorway that
way, it looks dreadful!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Raising his right arm and resting his
hand against the jamb of the door, completely cutting
off Mrs. Ritter’s view of Florence</i>] That’s the rub.
[<i>Mrs. Ritter stands on her tiptoes to try and see over
his arm, but being unsuccessful in this effort, stoops
a bit, and tries to look under his arm.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Take your arm down, Mr.
Twiller! [<i>Mrs. Ritter reaches up and quietly but
firmly draws Twiller’s arm down. Mrs. Pampinelli
turns away to the left, disgusted.</i>] My God! I never
gave any such direction as that!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Be at ease, Mr. Rush; if you were not
mistaken I should have known it,—and so should you;
I’m not a tragic woman. Did you want to leave any
message for the Doctor, Mrs. Rush?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>At Twiller’s right</i>] Yes,—[<i>Twiller
turns his head sharply and looks right into her
eyes. She steps around back of him and speaks to Florence
over his left shoulder.</i>] I wish you’d say that my
husband called—[<i>Twiller turns and looks into her</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</SPAN></span>
<i>eyes again, and she steps around back of him again, to
his right.</i>] for my bill. [<i>She reaches out and starts to
draw the door to. Twiller, very ill at ease, and awkwardly
looking from side to side, not knowing just how
to get out gracefully, makes a full turn round to his
right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Raising his hat to Florence</i>] Good evening,
Mrs. Arlington. [<i>Mrs. Ritter closes the door,
causing him to drop his cane; but he’s too excited to
notice it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Standing at the right door, extending
his hand</i>] Great, old man!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Dropping his gloves, as he shakes hands</i>]
Thanks. [<i>He continues to the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>As he passes below her</i>] Splendid,
Ralph! What happened to your mustache? [<i>She
laughs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Can you beat that, Nelly! I couldn’t
<i>coax</i> that thing off before I went on!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Holding the knob of the right door</i>]
Shush!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I don’t think the audience noticed it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Turning to them</i>] Shush! [<i>Twiller
goes down to the right, and Mrs. Fell returns to her
manuscript. The left door is flung open. They all
watch eagerly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Inside the left door</i>] If you will,
please?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Certainly.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Thanks.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Don’t mention it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Trying to appear very bold</i>] Good
bye.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Good bye. [<i>Mrs. Ritter gives another
famous laugh, sways through the door, tripping over
the door-strip, closes the door, looks at Mrs. Pampinelli,
who is standing at the left, and bursts out laughing.
There is prolonged applause from beyond the
flats.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Splendid, Paula!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Listening intently for his cue, from
beyond the flats</i>] Shush-shush! [<i>Mrs. Ritter looks
at him, still laughing foolishly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Waving at Paula</i>] Lovely, dear!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] I
forgot my umbrella.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Where is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I left it on the stage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That doesn’t matter. [<i>Hossefrosse
tries to silence them by dint of impatient gesturing
with his right hand.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, Betty, I think I saw Clara Sheppard
out there!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Not really?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Shush!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>From beyond the flats</i>] You can come
out now, Clyde, they’ve gone. [<i>Hossefrosse yanks the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</SPAN></span>
<i>right door open, causing the wood-wing at the right
to topple and fall forward.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Leaping to catch it, before it hits Mrs.
Fell</i>] Hold it! [<i>Mrs. Fell hunches her arms and
shoulders and screams.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Rushing over from the left</i>]
What is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Struggling to set the wing up in place
again</i>] This thing nearly fell! Just got it in time!
[<i>Mrs. Fell moves out of the way, over to the left, and
Mrs. Pampinelli tries to assist Twiller.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Is it all right now?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Brushing his hands and clothes, and
coming forward at the right</i>] Yes, it’s all right now.
Just got it in time.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Rushing up to Mrs. Ritter, who is
coming towards her from the left, and shaking her by
the arms</i>] Oh, you were marvelous, darling! [<i>Mrs.
Ritter giggles foolishly.</i>] I could just hug you!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I forgot my umbrella.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Wonderful performance! [<i>She steps
to the right door and opens her manuscript. Mrs.
Ritter moves a little to the right and stands looking
at the wood-wing.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning from a more precise
adjustment of the wood-wing</i>] Oh, Mr. Twiller!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Yes?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> How did you and Paula get<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</SPAN></span>
wedged in that door that way, over there a moment
ago?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>On Mrs. Pampinelli’s right</i>] Oh, I’m
awfully sorry about that! I got a little twisted on—
[<i>Mrs. Ritter comes to Mrs. Pampinelli’s left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Ritter</i>] I
was just asking Mr. Twiller about that business in the
door.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span> and <span class="smcap">Twiller</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Of course, it really didn’t
matter very much.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, my dear, wasn’t that just too
dreadful! But I didn’t know what to do! I knew
there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what
it was!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> It was <i>my</i> fault. I got a little twisted
there in my business-cues. I got up to the door a
couple of speeches too soon.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I don’t think the audience noticed
it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Frantically searching in the manuscript</i>]
Shush!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Don’t you think they did, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Shush! [<i>They all turn and look at
her. Mrs. Pampinelli steps towards her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Is somebody up? [<i>Nelly
simply silences her with a gesture, and opens the door
slightly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Prompting through the door</i>]
You’ve all been listening to a lot of damned, cheap
gossip!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>From beyond the flats</i>] You’ve all
been listening to a lot of damned, cheap gossip!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Which should show
you that people are talking.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Somebody up? [<i>Nelly just
shakes her head and relaxes.</i>] Mr. Hossefrosse?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> The “damned, cheap gossip” line.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Listening keenly</i>] Is he all
right again?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Yes, he’s all right now;—but it’s
funny how that line has sent him up at every performance.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to rejoin Mrs. Ritter
and Twiller</i>] It’s purely mental.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>From beyond the flats, violently</i>]
No! [<i>The stage manager, over at the left, jumps to
his feet, causing the hammer to fall from his pocket.
The door-slam also falls, with a bang. The stage
manager has been dozing, and the thunder of Mr.
Hossefrosse’s outburst has considerably startled him.
He comes forward at the left and looks over at Mrs.
Fell, to inquire the cause of the disturbance.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Motioning to him with her manuscript</i>]
Shush! [<i>He looks about and then goes back
and picks up the hammer and door-slam. As he resumes
his seat he takes another glance around.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>As Mrs. Pampinelli comes forward
again at the right, between her and Twiller</i>] You
know, I felt like a perfect fool standing there in that
door, but I couldn’t catch what you were saying.
[<i>Twiller laughs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, dear, I <i>really</i> don’t think
the audience noticed it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I hope they didn’t.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> It must have looked awful.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, dear, it didn’t, really; you
both covered it up very nicely.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I <i>tried</i> to cover it up when my mustache
fell off, too;—but I had so many <i>lines</i> right in there.
I held it on as long as I could, but I was afraid the
audience was beginning to notice it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I was so glad you had the presence
of mind not to attempt to stick it on again when
it fell off the <i>second</i> time.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I was afraid to take the time. I had
a cue right there; so when it fell off the second time,
I just—let it lie there. [<i>He makes a casual gesture
with his right hand.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That was quite right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Laughing a little</i>] It’s out there yet.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Giggling</i>] So is my umbrella.
[<i>They all laugh.</i>] Oh, listen, Betty dear! I think
I’ll just run upstairs for a minute and use that telephone—see
how Fred is. [<i>She starts towards the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Following her</i>] Yes, do,
Paula.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I’m kind of worried about him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> See if he’s regained consciousness
yet.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Regardless of the fact that a play
is in progress</i>] Excuse me!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Looking up from her manuscript</i>]
Shush!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Certainly, dear. [<i>Twiller
raises his hat towards her, and she waves back at him.
Then he goes up at the right and peeks through the
side wings.</i>] Oh, Paula!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning</i>] Yes, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Be sure and get down in time
for the curtains.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I imagine there’ll be a lot of
flowers come over.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Starting up at the left</i>] I’ll be
right down as soon as I telephone.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, do, dear. [<i>Mrs. Ritter
goes out at the left, and Mrs. Pampinelli turns, touching
her hair, and starts back towards the right. Something
falls beyond the flats. She stops dead, and listens.
Mrs. Fell turns quickly and peeks through the right
door. Twiller comes forward at the right and looks
inquiringly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Just audible beyond the flats</i>] Then,
you’ve allowed him to think so.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What’s that?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] Perhaps it is.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli, and
quite casually</i>] He knocked the ash-tray over. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli relaxes, and proceeds to arrange the beaded
ornaments on her dress, while Mrs. Fell moves a bit
farther over to the right and stands listening, manuscript
and lorgnon in hand. Twiller crosses to the
left, below Mrs. Fell, and gathers up his gloves and
cane.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] You are deliberately
misinterpreting this situation! Yes you are!
It’s perfectly ridiculous that a physician cannot take
a woman patient without being subjected to the whisperings
of a lot of vulgar scandal-mongers.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> This is not a romantic age, Clyde.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Coming to Mrs. Pampinelli’s right</i>]
Was that inflection of mine any better tonight on that
line, “I’m puzzled.”?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, very much better, I was
listening for it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Thoughtfully</i>] I never seemed to get
the sense of that line until tonight. It just seemed
to—come to me, out there on the stage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, that is a very significant
line, Mr. Twiller, coming where it does. [<i>Spindler
comes wandering on from the left, comes forward,</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</SPAN></span>
<i>looks about, and goes up to the side wing and looks
through.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I felt a great deal easier in that new
business of turning—down at the bookcase that you
gave me last night.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a touch of smugness</i>]
Much better.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Did you notice it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, of course, I couldn’t see
it, I was here; but I could sense it; and I could tell
from the <i>tone</i> of the scene that it was better. [<i>Spindler
moves over to the extreme left, about half-way
back, and, taking the refractory telephone-bell-arrangement
from his pocket, starts to tinker with it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> I just turned my head <i>this</i> way, [<i>He
turns his head sharply to the right, keeping his body
and shoulders perfectly rigid.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Excellent.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Turning back to her</i>] Without moving
my body.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Very good.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Instead of making the full swing around,
[<i>He makes a complete swing around on his right foot.</i>]
the way I had been doing. [<i>Mrs. Fell raises her lorgnon
and looks over, curiously.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> A very good change.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Very seriously</i>] I <i>felt</i> that it got them.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, you see, it gave them<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</SPAN></span>
the full benefit of your expression. [<i>They nod agreement.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> There’s a great deal of light and shade
in that part, right in there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Deprecatingly</i>] Ho! my dear,—it
is <i>all</i> light and shade;—even to the gestures. [<i>She
makes a Delsartian movement with her arms and hands.
Mrs. Fell comes forward a little further and observes
the gesture keenly, through her lorgnon.</i>] ....</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Rather troubled, and shaking his head
a bit</i>] I’ve got to put in a lot of work on <i>my</i> gestures,—they’re
bad, I know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, I shouldn’t exactly say
that your gestures were bad; but I think, perhaps——</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Leaning heavily on his cane</i>] I—ah—I
think I try too hard to be natural.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Smiling, biting her lip, and
rolling her eyes</i>] That’s exactly what I was going
to say. Your gestures are, in a way, <i>too</i> natural. [<i>She
gives a little mirthless laugh, and, out of courtesy, he
joins her.</i>] Of course, that is a very virtuous fault;
but it isn’t pretty, is it? [<i>She laughs again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> No, it isn’t. [<i>The stage manager gets
up, stretches himself, and comes forward at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And, after all, the function of
art is to be pretty, is it not? [<i>She repeats the floating
gesture.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Trying to imitate her</i>] I don’t seem
to be able—to <i>do</i> that, the way you do. [<i>Mrs. Fell</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</SPAN></span>
<i>feels the call, and, putting the manuscript under her
arm, tries rather unsuccessfully to copy the movement.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, it is purely a matter of
experience, Mr. Twiller. But when you’ve been in
the work as long as I have,—you’ll realize that the
bird’s-wing gesture is the <i>only</i> gesture. [<i>She illustrates
again, for the edification of her disciples; and
they attempt rather faithfully to imitate her. The
stage manager stands looking at them.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] But it has its compensations—You’ll
have your memories, [<i>There is a
confusion of voices from beyond the flats, and cries of
“Sit down!”</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Startled</i>] What’s that? [<i>Mrs.
Fell rushes to the right door and peeks through, Twiller
goes over to the right and up, and the stage manager
rushes back to his post and disappears at the left.</i>]
What is it, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning suddenly to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
They’re carrying a man out of the audience! [<i>She
looks back again through the peek, and Mrs. Pampinelli
steps to the left door and peeks. Mrs. Sheppard sweeps
on up at the left, and comes forward. She is a slim
brunette, in her thirties, very attractive, and wearing
the very last whisper in widow’s weeds. She looks
around, rather dramatically, then sees the ladies. Mrs.
Fell looks away from the peek-hole and sees her.</i>]
Betty, there’s Clara!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Looking at Nelly</i>] What?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Not wishing to be heard</i>] Clara
Sheppard. [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli turns quickly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, Clara! [<i>She goes towards
her, and Clara advances a little.</i>] I’m so glad to see
you! [<i>Clara breaks down and weeps.</i>] Now, don’t
do that, dear. You know Jimmy wouldn’t for anything
in the world want you to feel that way. So be
brave, honey. It was splendid of you to come here at
all. And you look wonderful.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> I must look perfectly dreadful.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> You don’t look anything of the
kind, darling, you look perfectly beautiful.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> All I’ve done is cry.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I know just how you feel.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> But I didn’t want you to think
I’d entirely forsaken the cause.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Oh, my dear, we understood
perfectly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> But I just felt I <i>had</i> to come
here tonight.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Have you been out in front,
Clara?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Yes, I just <i>had</i> to see it. I don’t
think anybody saw me; I came in late, and stood way
at the back.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> They’d hardly see you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> I don’t think so; I kept my veil
lowered. Of course, I should <i>love</i> to have been right
down in front, where I could get all those <i>wonderful</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</SPAN></span>
little subtleties. But, you know how it is,—I was
afraid people might not understand my being here at
all. It’s only three weeks, you know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> They wouldn’t, either.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> That’s what I thought.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I don’t suppose there’s one person
in <i>ten thousand</i> that has dramatic instinct enough
to appreciate the way you feel. [<i>She turns to the left
door and listens.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Beginning to cry again</i>] The
flowers in the lobby are perfectly beautiful.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Still listening</i>] Yes, but I’m
not having them passed over the footlights tonight.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Drying her eyes</i>] No?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Except one bouquet for each
of the ladies. It took up too much time the last time.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Glancing about</i>] Where’s Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> She’s upstairs, telephoning.
She’s rather annoyed about Fred, you know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> What about him? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
turns from the door suddenly and looks at her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] There is, my dear
boy,—for lots of people——</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Why, my dear, didn’t you
hear?—about him falling downstairs last night?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Oh, not really!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming towards her</i>] He fell
almost the entire flight.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Oh, dear me!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Poor Paula’s terribly upset.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> What was he doing, coming down
the stairs?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, he was watching our rehearsal.
You know, we held the final rehearsal at
Paula’s house last night—we couldn’t get this place.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Solicitously</i>] Well, did he break
any <i>bones</i>, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No,—Doctor Wentworth said—he
was unconscious before he hit the floor. He said
the fall was the result of a collapse; and that he would
have fallen no matter where he had been. Unfortunately,
he just happened to be on the stairs. [<i>She turns
back again to the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Retrospectively</i>] I <i>thought</i> he
looked pale when I saw him out there tonight. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli turns suddenly and looks at her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] And you have a very
modern wife.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> When you saw him out here,
you mean? [<i>She indicates the audience beyond the
flats.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Yes; he was standing out there
at the back, right near <i>me</i>.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming towards her again</i>]
You <i>must</i> be mistaken, Clara.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> No, Betty, I’m quite <i>sure</i> I saw
him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, the only thing <i>I</i> know<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</SPAN></span>
is that Paula said he hadn’t regained consciousness when
she left the house this evening at seven-thirty. [<i>Mrs.
Ritter comes on up at the back, from the left, and
comes forward.</i>] Here’s Paula now!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Turning round to her left</i>]
Poor dear, she must be terribly upset.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Extending her arms</i>] Clara, dear!
[<i>Mrs. Sheppard bursts into tears again.</i>] This is so nice
of you! [<i>They embrace each other, and Mrs. Ritter
starts to cry.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Isn’t she the sweet thing!
[<i>The door at the right opens.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To the ladies</i>] Shush! [<i>They all
turn and look toward the right door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With a gesture to Mrs. Ritter
and Mrs. Sheppard</i>] Shush! [<i>Hossefrosse comes out
the right door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Beyond the flats</i>] It’s gotten very
chilly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Picking up his hat, cane and gloves
from the chair</i>] Yes, I know it has; I just came in a
few minutes ago.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> You had tickets for the theatre, didn’t
you?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Stepping back through the right
door again</i>] Yes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Why not take me?—for a change. [<i>The
door closes.</i>] You used to—years ago.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Ritter and</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</SPAN></span>
<i>Mrs. Sheppard</i>] Paula, Clara says she thinks she saw
Mr. Ritter out there tonight.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Standing at the left</i>] My dear,
Jenny just told me over the telephone that he regained
consciousness a half-hour after I left the house, and
went out. Said she thought from the way he talked
he was coming here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>In the center</i>] Yes, I was <i>sure</i>
I saw him standing out there— [<i>Turning to Mrs.
Ritter</i>] I was just telling Betty.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I wonder if he’s out there yet.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> I don’t know, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> How much of the play did
you see, Clara?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Why, I stayed just as long as I
could, Betty. But when Paula came on, and I heard
those lines of mine again, I just couldn’t stand it.
[<i>She breaks down, and buries her face in her handkerchief.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Laying her hand on her arm</i>]
I know, Clara—you’re such an artist.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Pressing her hands against her
bosom</i>] Everything just seemed to come back on me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I know how it is, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Speaking directly to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]
I got thinking how Jimmy would feel, if he
could know, that <i>he</i> was the cause of standing in the
way of my first <i>real</i> opportunity. [<i>She cries again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Raising her eyes to Heaven</i>]
Perhaps he does know, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Turning to her again</i>] I mean,
you know, he was always so anxious about my getting
into the work. And, somehow or other, I always <i>felt</i>—that
I could have done so much with that part. [<i>Mrs.
Ritter gives a vague little laugh, and Mrs. Sheppard
turns to her quickly.</i>] Oh, of course, you were perfectly
<i>adorable</i> in it, darling, I don’t mean that—
[<i>The left door opens, and Florence is standing in it,
about to come out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli, Mrs. Ritter
and Mrs. Sheppard</i>] Shush!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning and going closer to
the left door</i>] Excuse me, Clara.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Certainly, dear. [<i>Twiller comes
forward at the right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> [<i>Stepping through the door</i>] By the
way, there was a Mr. Robinson telephoned this morning,
after you’d left the house— [<i>Mrs. Sheppard waves
her handkerchief at Florence, and Florence replies by
quietly flicking her fingers at her. Then, still keeping
in her character, she moves slowly towards the right,
leaving the door open behind her.</i>] He said something
about a list being correct.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Appearing in the doorway, carrying
his hat, cane and gloves</i>] Yes, I know. [<i>He
reaches towards the left, beyond the flats, as though
he were pushing an electric-light button, then thrusts</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</SPAN></span>
<i>his head through the door and says in a fierce whisper.</i>]
Lights.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> Lights out!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Put out the lights, somebody!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Lights, Mr. Stage Manager!
[<i>The stage manager appears from the left, at the back.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Springing from the left, where he has
been engaged in trying to repair the telephone-battery</i>]
Lights out!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Where are you! [<i>The stage
manager reaches up and pulls one of the switches on the
switch-board at the back, and the lights beyond the flats
go out; then he disappears again at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler</span> and <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> I was right here!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Coming through the door</i>] Yes, I
know,— [<i>Closing the door behind him</i>] I talked to
him. [<i>Puts his hat on</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, why aren’t you right
<i>here</i>, where you should be! Stand by for the curtain,
now,—see if you can do that much right. Surely, it’s
the old story of the lark,—if you want a thing done, do
it yourself! Curtain!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Shouting</i>] Curtain! [<i>The curtain, beyond
the flats, begins to roll down, and there is thunderous
applause.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Florence</i>] Marvelous, darling!<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</SPAN></span>
[<i>Florence waves at her, turns, and rushes back towards
the left.</i>] Just lovely, Huxley!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Thanks. [<i>He turns to the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Lights up! Splendid, children!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Florence.</span> I’m awfully glad to see you, Clara!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Hossefrosse</span>
and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Shaking hands with Florence</i>]
You were wonderful, Flossie!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Take up the curtain, Mr.
Stage Manager!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Thank you very much.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Lights up! [<i>The stage manager appears
from the left and pulls the switch again, and the lights
beyond the flats go on.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Take it up! [<i>The stage manager darts
off again to the left. The waltz-music on the piano,
beyond the flats, begins again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Lifting his hat and beaming</i>]
Hello, Clara!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Wonderful! [<i>He deprecates
profusely. The curtain rises again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Go on, Mr. Hossefrosse! [<i>He
opens the right door, removing his hat.</i>] Wait a
moment, Mr. Hossefrosse! Come on, Florence!
[<i>Hossefrosse stops uncertainly in the doorway and looks
at Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>] It’s all right! Go on! [<i>She
opens the left door.</i>] Here, go on here, Florence!
[<i>They go on, bowing, and there is prolonged applause.</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</SPAN></span>
Come on, Paula! go on here! [<i>The curtain descends
again. Paula scurries to the left door, giggling.</i>]
Where’s Mr. Twiller!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> [<i>Springing over from the right, where
he has been talking and laughing with Mrs. Fell</i>] Here
I am!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to the left</i>] Take it
up again, Mr. Stage Manager! [<i>Turning back to
Twiller, and opening the door</i>] Here, Mr. Twiller,
take Paula on! [<i>The curtain can be seen through the
left door rising again.</i>] Come on, Paula! [<i>Twiller
drops his cane, in shifting it from his right hand to his
left.</i>] Hurry up! [<i>He snatches the cane up, and,
taking Paula by the arm, escorts her through the door.
But she trips over the door-strip, nevertheless. And
there is sustained applause. Mrs. Fell, over at the
right, begins to preen herself feverishly. Mrs. Pampinelli
closes the door slowly, and stands listening, smiling.
Teddy appears up at the left and comes forward,
pressing his violet handkerchief to his brow, and looking
very wan. Mrs. Pampinelli turns to him.</i>] Come on,
Teddy, hurry up! They’re just going on! How do
you feel? [<i>The curtain descends.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> Only fair.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Taking him by the right arm
and urging him towards the right</i>] Here, Nelly, go on
for a bow with Teddy! [<i>Rushing back towards the
left</i>] Take it up again, Mr. Stage Manager!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Teddy</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</SPAN></span></p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Opening the right door</i>] Come on, Nelly!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Half-way back, at the left</i>] Take it
up! [<i>Rushing forward at the left</i>] Yes?</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Spindler</i>] Keep it going
up and down till I tell you to stop! And keep it up the
next time till the gentlemen get the flowers!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Shrinking away a little more to the
right of the door, but still preening herself, almost hysterically,
and breaking into a little nervous laugh</i>] Oh,
no, really, dear! I wouldn’t <i>think</i> of it! [<i>Teddy goes
through the right door. The curtain can be seen rising
again; then the door closes after him; and Mrs. Fell
continues talking, to herself.</i>] Why, what have I done
that I should go on. I wouldn’t mind if I’d taken some
part in the play,—but I certainly don’t see—</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Rushing back to the right</i>]
Go on, Nelly! what are you waiting for? [<i>The curtain
descends again. Mrs. Fell rushes towards Mrs.
Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Handing Mrs. Pampinelli the rolled
manuscript</i>] Hold this!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Hurry, dear! [<i>Mrs. Fell
rushes to the right door, settles herself finally, and
flings the door open. The curtain is just rising. And,
placing one hand upon her bosom, dropping her eyes and
smiling, Nelly sways through the door, acknowledging
the plaudits. Mrs. Pampinelli, standing in the middle</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</SPAN></span>
<i>of the stage, applauds, also, hitting the manuscript
against her hand. The door closes after Mrs. Fell.
Mrs. Sheppard, over at the left, suddenly bursts into
tears and buries her face in her handkerchief. Mrs.
Pampinelli turns quickly and looks at her, then crosses
towards her.</i>] Do you want to take a bow, Clara?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> Oh, no, thank you! [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli turns back to the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Get those flowers, boys! Keep
it up, Mr. Stage Manager! Come on, Clara! go on
for a bow! [<i>Reaches for Mrs. Sheppard’s hand</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Giving Mrs. Pampinelli her
hand, and allowing herself to be drawn towards the
right</i>] Do you think they’d understand, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Of course, they would, my
dear! They know it isn’t your fault that you’re not
appearing! [<i>Mrs. Fell thrusts open the right door.
She has a basket of roses in her hand.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> They’re <i>calling</i> for you, Betty! [<i>Someone
in the audience can be heard calling Mrs. Pampinelli’s
name.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Here, Nelly, take Clara on for
a bow!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Impatiently</i>] They’re calling for you,
dear! [<i>Mrs. Sheppard hastily throws her veil back,
dramatically.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I’ll take one alone, afterwards!
[<i>The applause swells again.</i>] Go on, Clara!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Extending her right hand</i>] Come on,
dear!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Sheppard.</span> [<i>Giving Mrs. Fell her left hand</i>]
Oh, I don’t feel that I should! [<i>Mrs. Fell keeps the
door open, and Clara droops through, bowing. Then
Mrs. Fell closes the door and Mrs. Pampinelli turns to
the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Keep it up, Mr. Spindler!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> Keep it up!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> [<i>Thrusting open the left door</i>] Mrs.
Pampinelli! [<i>There is a vision through the door of
the various artists bowing towards the back wall, all
the ladies laden with flowers.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> All right, dear! I’m coming!
[<i>Hossefrosse closes the door, and Mrs. Pampinelli
deftly touches her hair and flings her train out to its
full length behind her. Then she speaks in a loud
voice, so that she may be heard by those on the other
side of the flats.</i>] Everybody stand to one side! Stand
to one side, everybody! [<i>She pulls open the left door
and stands, smiling: then she steps through the door;
and, instantly, the curtain falls with a deafening crash.
The door closes after her. Nelly Fell gives a piercing
scream. Spindler comes rushing down from the left to
the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Teddy.</span> [<i>Shouting, beyond the flats</i>] Curtain!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> Take up the curtain!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Twiller.</span> Take it up! [<i>There is a babel of voices</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</SPAN></span>
<i>beyond the flats. Then the left door is thrust violently
open, and Mrs. Pampinelli looks out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Harshly, to Spindler</i>] What’s
the matter with the curtain?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>In a panic of excitement</i>] Something’s
broke! [<i>The stage manager rushes on from the left
and comes forward.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coming out through the door
and calling to the stage manager, whom she hasn’t seen
yet</i>] Take up the curtain, Mr. Stage Manager!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> I can’t take it up, the guy-rope’s
broken! [<i>He goes up at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What? [<i>Mrs. Fell comes running
through the right door, carrying her basket of
flowers, and crosses towards the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What is it, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] He says the guy-rope’s
broken!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Brushing him aside, to the
left, and rushing up at the left</i>] My God! did anyone
ever hear of such stupidity!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell</span> and <span class="smcap">Spindler</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I’ll go on at the side here!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What’s the matter, Mr. Spindler?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Shouting after Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] He
says he can’t get it up! [<i>Mrs. Sheppard comes through
the right doorway with an armload of American Beauty</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</SPAN></span>
<i>roses, and stands looking anxiously from side to side.
Teddy follows her out and stands at her right, discussing
the incident. Florence opens the left door and
comes out. Her arms are full of tiger-lilies. She
moves to the right and speaks to Mrs. Sheppard,
nervously.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> You can’t get through there,
lady! [<i>Twiller comes out the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span> and <span class="smcap">Stage Manager</span>, together;</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I must get through somewhere!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> That tormentor’s too narrow
there!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, <span class="smcap">Stage Manager</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs.
Fell</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning frantically and rushing
forward again at the left</i>] I’ll try the other side!
He says it’s too narrow there!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> I don’t know how you’re going
to do it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>As Mrs. Pampinelli sweeps between
her and Spindler</i>] What is it he says is broken, Betty?
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli rushes over towards the right. She
literally sweeps Twiller, who is in her path, out of the
way, and he falls backward over a stage-brace, onto
the floor. Mrs. Fell picks up her dress and runs after
Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Spindler.</span> [<i>Outrunning Mrs. Fell</i>] The guy-rope!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Well, why doesn’t he fix it! Betty!
Betty dear! [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli rushes up at the extreme
right and tries desperately to find a way of getting
through; but everything is solidly masked. Hossefrosse
comes out the left door, and the stage manager
comes forward at the left and stands looking after Mrs.
Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Hossefrosse.</span> What’s the matter, can’t Mrs.
Pampinelli get her bow?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> She can’t get on any more from
that side than she can from this! [<i>Hossefrosse steps
out through the door and looks toward the right. The
door closes after him.</i>] There’s the same opening over
there as there is here! [<i>The applause beyond the flats,
which has kept up throughout the debacle, begins to die.
Mrs. Pampinelli comes sweeping back from the right
with fire in her eye,—Nelly Fell and Spindler still at
her heels. She plants herself in the middle of the stage
and glares at the stage manager.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>In a voice shrill with anger</i>]
My God! what’s the matter with your curtain!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> [<i>Losing his temper</i>] The guy-rope’s
broken! I’ve told you that about a dozen times!
[<i>He turns doggedly away to the left, as though he were
going up to his chair; but he stops short and finishes his
remarks to her over his left shoulder.</i>] What do you
want me to do, write you a letter! [<i>The left door is
pushed quietly open; and Mrs. Ritter, with her face</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</SPAN></span>
<i>just visible above a perfect screen of roses, looks blankly
at the stage manager.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Vaguely</i>] There’s something the
matter with the curtain. [<i>The real stage curtain commences
to descend.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Stage Manager.</span> [<i>Leaning towards her, assuming
her general manner and tone, and flipping his hand at
her</i>] Y-E-E-S! [<i>He goes up towards his chair, and
Mrs. Ritter stands in wide-eyed astonishment.</i>]</p>
<p class="center">END OF THE ACT.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</SPAN></span>
<h2 class="nobreak">THE TORCH-BEARERS.<br/> <span class="smcap">Act III.</span></h2></div>
<p>NOTE:</p>
<p>The setting for Act III is the same as for Act I
except that the small chair which Jenny brings on at
the opening of the play is eliminated.</p>
<p><i>Jenny is seated at the table below the piano, reading
the Pictorial Review. The door closes out at the right.
She stops reading and listens. Then resumes. Ritter
wanders in from the right hallway, wearing a black
overcoat and a derby. The derby is a bit over one eye
and his cigar is at a comic angle. Jenny sees him and
rises immediately, circling around to the left to the
middle of the room.</i></p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Oh, Mr. Ritter! [<i>He comes into the
center-door and stands there, looking at nothing.</i>] I
didn’t hear you come in, sir. Is the show over?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Removing his gloves</i>] It’s all over town
by this time.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Standing slightly left of the center of the
room, facing him</i>] Mrs. Ritter just telephoned a minute
ago.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Is she alive?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Alive, Mr. Ritter?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Moving down to the table below the
piano, and thrusting his gloves into his overcoat pocket</i>]
Because if she is, she’s got a charmed life. [<i>Commencing
to unfasten his coat</i>] The Seamen’s Institute!
God help them on a night like this.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> She was anxious to know if you were still
unconscious.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Taking off his overcoat</i>] If she telephones
again, tell her yes. [<i>He is in a tuxedo-suit.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Crossing to him and helping him with the
coat</i>] Ain’t you feelin’ well again, Mr. Ritter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> No, Jenny, I’m not. [<i>He hands her his
derby.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Taking the hat and coat to the partition-seat
above the piano</i>] Well, I’m sure I’m sorry, sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Removing his scarf</i>] And after that exhibition
tonight,—I don’t think I ever shall feel exactly
well again.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Coming down at his left and passing back
of him</i>] Was it a sad play?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Handing her his scarf, and speaking with
measured conviction</i>] The saddest thing I’ve ever seen
in my life.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> I allus cry when a show is sad.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Is that so?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, sir; and a funny thing about me is—the
sadder it is the more I cry.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You’d have had a big night if you’d been
with me. [<i>She passes back of him with the scarf, to put</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</SPAN></span>
<i>it with the other things.</i>] You’d better leave those
things here, Jenny, I may leave town again tonight.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> I’ll leave them right here. [<i>She turns
from an arrangement of the things and comes forward
to the middle of the room.</i>] Did they clap much when
Mrs. Ritter finished?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Still standing above the table near the
piano, clipping the tip of a cigar which he has taken
from his pocket</i>] I didn’t wait for the finish; they carried
me out.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> I’m dyin’ till she gets home, for I know
exactly how she felt. [<i>He looks at her keenly—she is
looking straight ahead.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Have you been on the stage, too, Jenny?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Turning to him</i>] No, sir, I haven’t, Mr.
Ritter, not lately. But when I was at home in England
I used to go on every once in a while. For a bit of a
change, you know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes, I know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> We had a little club in the town I lived
in, and we used to give a show twice a year. [<i>Ritter
nods slowly and comprehendingly.</i>] I always took off
the comical parts.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> How is it they didn’t get you into this
show tonight?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Oh, I haven’t been on for a long time now,
Mr. Ritter. My husband put a stop to it. [<i>She looks
away off.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to her</i>] What was the matter?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Turning to him, suddenly</i>] He died.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Replacing his penknife</i>] I see.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> And I never felt much like cuttin’ up after
that. [<i>The telephone-bell rings. She turns quickly
and starts for the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Moving over towards the mantelpiece</i>]
See who that is, Jenny.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Hurrying out into the left hallway</i>] Yes,
sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Getting a match from the table below
the mantelpiece</i>] Anybody for me, I’ve gone into permanent
retirement.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>At the telephone</i>] Yes? [<i>He listens narrowly.</i>]
Mr. Ritta? [<i>He makes a rapid movement
towards her.</i>] Oh, Mrs. Ritta?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>In a subdued tone</i>] Who do they want?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] No, mam, she hasn’t
got home yet. [<i>Lowering the telephone and speaking
to Ritter</i>] Mrs. Ritter.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Casually</i>] Who is it, the police? [<i>He
lights his cigar.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] All right, Mrs. Livingston,
I’ll give her your message as soon as she comes
in. You’re more than welcome I’m sure. [<i>She hangs
up and comes to the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking at her</i>] Mrs. Livingston?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What did she want?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> She sez she wanted to congratulate Mrs.
Ritter on her perfect performance tonight.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Did she see the show?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> She didn’t say, sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Conclusively, and crossing in front of her
down to the window at the right</i>] She didn’t see it. If
any of those women come back here with Mrs. Ritter,
Jenny,—say that I’m not home yet, do you understand.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Settling the overcoat on the partition-seat</i>]
Yes, sir.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking through the window</i>] And that
you haven’t seen anything <i>of</i> me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, sir, Mr. Ritter, all right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> If my wife’s alone, let me know as soon
as she comes in.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, sir, I will. [<i>The telephone-bell rings,
and she hurries out to answer it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Half turning from the window</i>] You
haven’t seen anything of me, remember.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> No, sir. [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Yes, sir?
[<i>He listens, without turning.</i>] No, sir, she hasn’t got
home yet. [<i>She lowers the telephone and looks at him,
wide-eyed. He feels that she’s looking at him and turns
suddenly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Taking a step towards her, below the
piano</i>] What is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] No, sir, <i>he</i> hasn’t
got home yet neither.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Apprehensively</i>] Do they want me?<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</SPAN></span>
[<i>She nods yes.</i>] Who is it? [<i>She nods that she
doesn’t know.</i>] Police Headquarters I’ll bet a ten
dollar note! [<i>He crosses down below the table at the
left and around up to the mantelpiece.</i>] Tell them
that I had absolutely nothing to do with her going on!
That I didn’t hear about it until last night! [<i>He
crosses back again down towards the table below the
piano.</i>] And that I’ve been unconscious ever since.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] The Times?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Stopping above the table</i>] My God, the
newspapers have got hold of it!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Well, just a minute,
please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning suddenly to her</i>] Tell them
she did it on a bet!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> The Times newspaper wants to know if
Mrs. Ritter has a full-length photograph of herself for
the morning paper.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Emphatically, and going out through the
center-door into the right hallway and up the stairs</i>]
Tell them NO!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Hello.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> But that she’ll have some taken as soon as
she gets out of jail. [<i>He goes through the arched doorway
at the head of the stairs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Why, I couldn’t say,
sir, whether Mrs. Ritter has a photograph of herself
or not, sir; but I’ll give her your message as soon as
she comes in.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>In the right hallway</i>] Hurry,
Theodore.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Still at the telephone</i>] You’re more than
welcome I’m sure. [<i>She hangs up and hurries in
through the center-door, glancing out the right hallway
as she comes and, gathering up Mr. Ritter’s overcoat,
derby and scarf, hurries over above the table at the
left and out.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>In the right hallway</i>] Be
careful of those jonquils. Now, be careful, Theodore!
Now go back and fetch the others. [<i>Coming into
view, and seeing Jenny coming in again at the left
door</i>] Oh, you’re up, Jenny, aren’t you! [<i>She comes
through the center-door, carrying her fan and an armload
of orchids and red chrysanthemums, and wearing
an enormous flowing cape of ruffled black lace, touched
all over with tiny circular sequins in gold. Her dress,
of course, is the ruby-velvet one of the preceding act.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, mam, I’m up.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Hastening to the table below
the piano</i>] I’m so glad; I hope I haven’t roused you.
[<i>She puts her fan on the piano and sets all the flowers
down on the table.</i>] Will you go out and get those
flowers from my chauffeur, Jenny?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Going out through the center-door into
the right hallway</i>] Yes, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Arranging the flowers on the
table</i>] He’s set them right down there in the hallway.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</SPAN></span>
I came right on in when I found the door unlocked;
I was afraid you’d be asleep.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> No, mam, I was waitin’ up.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Sweeping around to her left
and up to the center-door</i>] Well, that’s perfectly
angelic of you I’m sure. [<i>She stands on the left side
of the center-door and looks out into the right hallway.</i>]
Can you manage, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Appearing from the right</i>] I think so.
[<i>She struggles through the center-door carrying an
enormous horseshoe, made of red and white carnations
and ferns. It is at least four feet high, set upon an
easel, and across the front of it is a strip of white-satin
ribbon ten inches wide with the word “SUCCESS”
inscribed upon it in blue-velvet letters. She is
also carrying a huge basket of jonquils, and a star
made of white pansies. This last touch is fastened
upon a violet easel.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Let me help you, child. [<i>She
takes the basket of jonquils and the star of pansies from
Jenny.</i>] Now, set that right down there. [<i>She indicates
a point in front of the mantelpiece for the horseshoe,
and Jenny crosses in front of her with it.</i>] I
want Mrs. Ritter to see it <i>first</i>, when she comes in,—it’s
so appropriate. [<i>She sets the basket of jonquils on the
piano.</i>] I suppose we can put these down anywhere
here until she comes, can’t we? [<i>She sets the easel
of pansies down on the floor at the right of the table
below the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Having set the horseshoe down in front
of the mantelpiece</i>] This way, Mrs. Pampinelli?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> No, dear, <i>facing</i> the door.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Oh, I see. [<i>She turns it round facing the
center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That’s it. I want it to catch
her eye as she comes in. And now will you go back
and fetch the others, Jenny?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Hurrying out through the center-door</i>]
Yes, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Gathering up the chrysanthemums
from the table</i>] And these chrysanthemums,
[<i>She sweeps across towards the mantelpiece and turns
to her left, strewing the chrysanthemums through the
center-door and down toward the table at the left.</i>]
I’ll just strew in her pathway. [<i>Jenny comes in from
the right hallway carrying a huge anchor of vivid red
roses, with a broad band of navy-blue ribbon running
diagonally across it, and the words “SEAMEN’S
INSTITUTE” in white-velvet letters. She stands
right in the center-door, holding it, waiting for instructions
as to its disposition from Mrs. Pampinelli. But
Mrs. Pampinelli is lost in admiration of it, standing just
to the left of the center-door.</i>] Now, set that right down
here, Jenny. [<i>She indicates a point at the extreme left,
below the door, and Jenny hastens to place it there,
setting it down half-facing the center-door; and Mrs.
Pampinelli stands up at the center-door admiring it.</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</SPAN></span>
Hope! [<i>Jenny turns to her and gives a faint little
laugh.</i>] Hope, for the success [<i>She indicates the
horseshoe with a gesture.</i>] of our enterprise. [<i>They
both laugh, and Mrs. Pampinelli steps quickly down to
the table below the piano and picks up the orchids.</i>]
And these orchids, I think I shall just put right here
on this table. [<i>She crosses to the table below the casement-window
and puts them down; then straightens up
and sighs.</i>] Ho, dear me, I’m warm! [<i>She crosses
back between the piano and the table below it, picking
up her fan as she goes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Moving up and across back of the table
at the left, towards the center of the room</i>] ’Tis a bit
warm.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Fanning herself, as she moves
towards the middle of the room</i>] And then I hurried
so,—foolishly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Did everything go along all right?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Magnificently, my dear child!
And Mrs. Ritter was a positive sensation.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Did she get all these flowers?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Deprecatingly</i>] Ho! This
isn’t the half of them! We sent three automobiles
full to the various hospitals. And Mrs. Fell’s car was
still taking them when I left. [<i>Jenny shakes her head
from side to side in wonderment.</i>] These are just a
few that we rescued for Mrs. Ritter. [<i>She moves
towards the center-door.</i>] Sort of a little surprise for<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</SPAN></span>
her, you know, when she gets home. [<i>She stands looking
out into the right hallway, expectantly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> They’re certainly ’andsome.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> She doesn’t even know that
I’ve brought them.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Is she comin’ right home, do you know,
Mrs. Pampinelli?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to Jenny</i>] Why, I
<i>expect</i> her, yes. I was afraid she’d get here ahead of
me. She was waiting for Mr. Ritter. [<i>Coming forward
a little</i>] We heard at the hall that he was
there, and she thought probably he’d come back and
pick her up. He hasn’t <i>come</i> home, has he?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> No, mam, I haven’t seen anything of him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Laughing a little, indulgently,
securing a hair-pin, and moving over towards the right</i>]
Poor man! His wife’s success has very likely gone to
his head. [<i>She glances out the window.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> He went out of here about eight o’clock.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning and coming back
towards Jenny</i>] Yes, we were so surprised to hear that
he was there at all. Because Mrs. Ritter had said
that he hadn’t regained consciousness up to the time
she left the house.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> He hadn’t, neither. I thought I ’ad two
’eads on me when I came in and saw him puttin’ on
’is ’at and coat.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, did he seem all right?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, he seemed right enough; but he was<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</SPAN></span>
awful pale-lookin’. And a couple a times I spoke to
’im, he gave me kind of a funny answer. So I got a
bit frightened, you know; and I asked ’im if he knew
where he was goin’. And he said, “Yes,” that he was
goin’ to see “The Torch-Bearers.” Kind a flightly,
you know.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, he would be, naturally.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> So then,—when he got to the door, he
turned around—and he sez to me—“Jenny!—if you
never see me again,—I want you to know I <i>died</i> in
the cause of Art.”—And he went out.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> He was probably rambling a
bit.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> But, he walked straight enough.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning suddenly to the
center-door</i>] I think I hear a machine, Jenny.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Stepping across quickly below the table
to the casement-window</i>] I’ll see.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Do quickly, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Is Mrs. Fell comin’ back tonight?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Looking out eagerly into
the right hallway</i>] Yes, she’s bringing the rest of the
flowers. I’ve sent my car back for her.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Turning abruptly from the window and
hurrying across below the piano towards the center-door</i>]
Here’s Mrs. Ritta now!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Is Mr. Ritter with her?
[<i>Intercepting Jenny</i>] No, don’t go out, Jenny! I
want to hear what they say when they see the flowers.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</SPAN></span>
[<i>Turning her round by the shoulder and indicating the
door down at the left</i>] You go into the other room
there, and I’ll hide here— [<i>She moves forward at the
right and across below the piano.</i>] in this window.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Hurrying towards the door at the left</i>]
All right, mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Stopping near the window
and turning to Jenny</i>] And, Jenny dear!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Turning at the left door</i>] Yes, mam?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Don’t come out—until you
hear <i>me</i> say “SURPRISE!”</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> All right, Mrs. Pampinelli, I won’t. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli steps into the alcove of the window, then
turns again to Jenny.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Now, remember, Jenny,—“SURPRISE!”</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, I know. [<i>She closes the door, and
Mrs. Pampinelli conceals herself behind the window-drapery.
There is a slight pause; then Mrs. Ritter
hurries in from the right hallway, carrying a marvelous
bouquet of American Beauty roses. She comes in
through the center-door and stands, looking, with a
touch of astonishment, at the horseshoe. Then her eyes
wander down to the anchor; and then over to the
easel at the right. She is gowned in a very pale shade
of gray lace, with gray-silk slippers and stockings; and
around her head she is wearing a wreath of laurel in
gold, touched with brilliants. Her cloak is of black
chiffon-velvet, with a cape collar of black fox. She</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</SPAN></span>
<i>slides this cloak from her shoulders onto the partition-seat
at the right, and starts across towards the door
at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Opening the door</i>] Are you up,
Jenny?—Jenny! [<i>She closes the door again and
crosses above the table at the left and over to the one
below the piano. Here she sets down a few of the
roses, then decides there is not sufficient room for all
of them, and starts across to the table at the left.
Ritter appears at the head of the stairs and starts down
slowly. She sees him, and stops dead.</i>] Fred! [<i>She
moves up towards the left of the center-door.</i>] You
don’t mean to tell me you’ve been home here,—and
there I’ve been waiting at the hall since before ten
o’clock. [<i>He wanders in through the center-door and
leans against the piano, holding a lighted cigar in his
hand.</i>] Why didn’t you come back for me? Irene
Colter had to bring me home. [<i>She starts to cry.</i>]
Clara Sheppard <i>told</i> me she saw you there, so, naturally,
I waited for you. And when you didn’t come
back, why, of course, right away—I thought something
had happened to you. [<i>She cries into her handkerchief.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Without moving, and in a toneless voice</i>]
Something <i>has</i> happened to me. [<i>She looks at him
apprehensively.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> What happened to you, Fred?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Stonily, and moving down and across
below the piano</i>] I’ve seen you act.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> What? [<i>He raises his left hand
solemnly and continues to the corner of the piano
nearest the window, where he leans. She moves down
a bit after him.</i>] What’s the matter, Fred,—did you
have another of those spells that you had last night?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Yes; only a great deal worse.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, isn’t that dreadful! What do
you think it is, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning slightly, and glancing at the
violet easel and over at the anchor</i>] I don’t know what
it is. It looks like a <i>wake</i> to me. Who’s dead?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Dead?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What are all these flowers doing here?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why, I imagine some of the ladies
have been here from the show—to fix up a little surprise
for <i>me</i>.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> They should have lighted a few candles,
and completed the effect.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> But, these are just presents, Fred,
from friends of ours.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Straightening up, and moving across below
the table</i>] They are tokens of sympathy, that’s what
they are. [<i>He crosses up and over above the table at
the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Following him over</i>] But, there’s
nobody <i>dead</i>, dear!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Raising his left hand solemnly again</i>]
Oh, yes there is! Oh yes!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> <i>Really</i>, dear! [<i>He turns, just back
of the arm-chair, and pins her with a look.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You’re dead. [<i>She stands perfectly still,
looking at him, wide-eyed.</i>] You died tonight,—down
there on that stage at Horticultural Hall. And so did
everybody that was up there with you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>With a troubled, uncomprehending
expression</i>] Why, how could I be dead, dear,—when
I’m here,—talking to you? [<i>He stands looking straight
ahead, smoking. She bursts out crying, and turns to
the partition-seat at the right of the center-door.</i>] Oh,
Fred! it’s terrible to see you this way!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Sweeping his hand across his brow and
starting across below the table towards the right</i>] The
human brain can only stand so much.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Setting her roses down on the partition-seat</i>]
You’ve just been working yourself to
death! But nobody could tell you anything! [<i>She
starts out into the left hallway for the telephone.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Stopping over near the window and turning</i>]
What are you going to do?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning to him</i>] Why, I’m going
to call Doctor Wentworth of course.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What for?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why, because you <i>need</i> him!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Taking a step or two towards her, between
the piano and the table below it</i>] I won’t see any doctor,
now!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming back through the center-door</i>]
Now,—listen, Fred—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Raising his hand, and crossing to the left</i>]
I won’t see any doctor, I tell you—there’s nothing he
can do for me: [<i>He stops above the arm-chair at the
left and rests his hand upon the back of it.</i>] it’s all
been done. There’s nothing left for me but to get
out of town.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Following him over</i>] Well, just let
him come over and <i>see</i> you, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What would I let him come over and <i>see</i>
me for? There’s nothing the matter with me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why, you’re as pale as a ghost!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> That’s nothing—I’ve had a scare.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Solicitously</i>] What scared you, dear?
[<i>He turns and looks at her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I was afraid every minute somebody was
going to shoot <i>you</i>.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>After a bewildered pause</i>] But, why
should anybody shoot <i>me</i>, darling?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> For trying to act. [<i>He moves forward
and across in front of the table, to the right,—she
watching him blankly.</i>] Making a laughing-stock of
yourselves in front of the community.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Didn’t you like me, Fred?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Casually, as he nears the window</i>] I did
till I saw you act. [<i>He turns around to his right and
leans on the piano. She moves over towards the table
below the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Rather helplessly, as the situation
dawns upon her</i>] Why, Mrs. Pampinelli said I was
a great artist.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>With vast amusement</i>] Ha! [<i>Then he
looks at his wife and speaks very exactly.</i>] Mrs. Pampinelli
is perhaps the world’s greatest <i>NUT</i>. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli, standing back in the widow-alcove at the
right, in a state of puzzled irresolution, reacts, physically,
to this last observation, causing an abrupt movement
of the drapery. But, neither Ritter nor his wife
are looking in that direction at the moment.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Laying the remaining roses on the
table</i>] She says I ought to go on with the work.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Dryly</i>] She meant the housework. [<i>He
replaces his cigar in his mouth.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking at him with a touch of resentment</i>]
No, she didn’t mean anything of the kind.
She says I ought to go to New York. [<i>He takes the
cigar from his mouth and looks at her keenly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> And what would you do when you’d <i>get</i>
there?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why, I’d go on the stage, of course.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Very level</i>] How?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why, I’d go to the people that have
charge of it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> And, do you think they’d put you on the
stage simply because you wanted to <i>go</i> on it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Well, Mrs. Pampinelli could give me
a letter—</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Hum!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> So that I’d have it when I’d <i>get</i>
there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> That’d do you a lot of good. You’d find
a <i>thousand</i> there ahead of you, with letters from Mrs.
Pampinellis. Nobody in New York knows Mrs. Pampinelli;
and if they did, it’d probably <i>kill</i> any chance
that a person <i>might</i> have otherwise. [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
can contain herself no longer. She flips the window-drapery
aside with a deft movement and stands looking
at Ritter, from a great height. Mrs. Ritter, who is
facing the window, utters an abrupt shriek of astonishment.
Then Ritter turns, rather casually, to see the
cause of his wife’s agitation, and finds himself looking
into the frozen eyes of Mrs. Pampinelli. He regards
her rather impersonally, and then quietly reaches up
and secures his collar and tie. She steps majestically
from the window-alcove and moves a bit nearer to him,
still holding him with an icy stare.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>After a devastating pause</i>] You
creature.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning smoothly away, to his left, as
though he had been suddenly struck by something, in
the right eye</i>] Another <i>actress</i>. [<i>He moves along a
few steps to the left, in front of the table, then turns
and speaks to Mrs. Pampinelli over his left shoulder.</i>]
What did you do, come through the window?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I’ve been <i>hiding</i> here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Resuming his walk over to the left</i>] I don’t<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</SPAN></span>
blame you,—after that show; I’ve been doing the same
thing myself. [<i>He sits in the arm-chair over at the
left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Who has been standing in a panic in
the middle of the room, staring wide-eyed at Mrs.
Pampinelli</i>] Oh, Mrs. Pampinelli,—you <i>didn’t</i> hear
what he’s been saying?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Every word. [<i>She very regally
deposits her fan upon the piano, and Mrs. Ritter, turning
to Ritter, makes a long, moaning sound.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Now, Fred Ritter, you see what
you’ve done! [<i>She bursts into tears, and comes down
to the chair at the left of the table below the piano and
sits down.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Moving to a point above the
table</i>] And I wouldn’t have missed it. I’ll know how
to regard this gentleman in the future. I came home
hurriedly with these few flowers as a little acknowledgment
of the appreciation your work deserved; and
all I hear is abuse; and a very crude, but very venomous
attempt at satire. [<i>Mrs. Ritter weeps aloud.</i>]
Control yourself, darling, I wouldn’t please him.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Quietly</i>] She’s acting again.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Withering him with a glance</i>]
You barbarian! [<i>To Mrs. Ritter</i>] Pull yourself together,
dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, I just <i>can’t</i>, Mrs. Pampinelli.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Addressing Ritter directly, and</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</SPAN></span>
<i>indicating Mrs. Ritter</i>] Look at the state of emotion
you’ve got this poor girl into!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> She’s an emotional actress. [<i>Mrs. Ritter
bursts forth again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Savage! [<i>To Mrs. Ritter</i>] Let
me get you something, darling.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Call Jenny.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, dear. [<i>She crosses to a
point just to the left of the middle of the room, then
stops and calls toward the door at the left.</i>] Jenny
dear, <i>SURPRISE</i>! [<i>Ritter listens, with a puzzled expression.</i>]
Come here, Jenny,—SURPRISE! [<i>Ritter
turns around in the chair, to his right, and looks at her
curiously. She meets his eyes with steady bitterness.
Then he shifts his gaze to his wife.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why didn’t you take your make-up off?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I forgot it,—I was so worried about
you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> You look like a Dutch squaw. [<i>She
bursts into tears again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Hastening over to her</i>] Let
her alone! Don’t mind him, Paula.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> She’s all made up! and it’s coming off.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, what if it is?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Settling back into the arm-chair</i>] I don’t
want to be reminded of that show. [<i>Jenny enters hurriedly
from the door at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Mrs. Ritter is ill, Jenny.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</SPAN></span>
[<i>Jenny comes quickly across, above the table at the
left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Half turning to her</i>] My smelling-salts,
Jenny.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing back of Mrs. Ritter</i>]
Her smelling-salts, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Hurrying out through the center-door</i>] Yes,
mam.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> They’re in my bureau-basket.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning and calling after
Jenny</i>] In her bureau-basket, Jenny.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Running up the stairs</i>] Yes, mam, I know
where they are.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Gathering up the roses from
the table</i>] Let me take these flowers out of your way,
dear. You’ve been treated abominably. Although
your husband’s attitude is entirely consistent with that
of the average husband’s, after his wife has distinguished
herself. [<i>Ritter makes a little sound of amusement,
and she glares at him.</i>] And any observations
of Mr. Ritter’s to the contrary, you <i>did</i> distinguish
yourself tonight, Paula. [<i>She turns to her right and
puts the roses on the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Sitting away down in the arm-chair,
smoking</i>] So did the Cherry Sisters. [<i>Mrs. Ritter
weeps again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning back again from the
piano to Mrs. Ritter</i>] We are not talking to you at
all, sir. [<i>Mrs. Ritter has a slight coughing spell.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Will you get me a drink of water,
please?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Certainly, darling, where is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> You’ll find it just inside the breakfast-room.
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli sails across the room towards
the left door. Just as she is passing back of
Ritter’s chair, he turns and looks at her, and the excessive
grandeur of her manner causes him to burst
out laughing. But she simply freezes him with a look
and goes out through the left door. He continues to
laugh; and Mrs. Ritter, not having seen the cause of
his laughter, stops crying and turns and looks at him,
very troubled.</i>] Fred Ritter, you’re acting to me tonight—just
like a man that’d be losing his mind! [<i>He
looks over at her.</i>] I really thought that was what was
the matter with you when I first came in!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Very confidentially</i>] Listen—When I
didn’t lose my mind watching that show tonight, I
couldn’t go nutty if I tried.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Well, if anybody else comes here
tonight, you just keep that kind of talk to yourself.
There were lots of people there that thought it was
wonderful. Look at all these flowers.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> These flowers were all paid for long before
anybody saw that show. [<i>There is a staccato tap
at the front door-bell. Jenny is hurrying down the
stairs with the smelling-salts.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Rising, and trying to fix herself up
a bit</i>] Well, that’s only your opinion. [<i>She starts for</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</SPAN></span>
<i>the center-door.</i>] This is very likely Nelly Fell. [<i>Turning
back to him as she nears the center-door</i>] Now,
don’t you say anything to <i>her</i>, remember! She likes
you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>In the right hallway</i>] No, I think
I can manage, Theodore. [<i>Jenny hands Mrs. Ritter
the smelling-salts, at the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Thanks, Jenny.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> You’re welcome. [<i>She hurries out into the
right hallway, and Mrs. Ritter comes forward to the
chair below the piano, sniffing the salts. Ritter rises
and saunters around and up to the left of the arm-chair.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> You can close that door, if you will!
Couldn’t wait for you, Jenny! [<i>She rushes in from the
right hallway.</i>] I’m too much excited! [<i>She plants herself
in the center-door, holding aloft in her right hand
a beautiful basket of tulips, and in her left, a huge
bouquet of violets.</i>] Well, here <i>I</i> am, with <i>my</i> frankincense
and myrrh! [<i>She gives an hysterical giggle and
teeters forward towards Mrs. Ritter.</i>] Oh, there you
are, Frederick Ritter! We thought something had happened
to you! Pauline, dear child, I’ve come to worship
at your shrine. [<i>She places the basket of tulips
down on the floor to the left of Mrs. Ritter, then
straightens up, regards Mrs. Ritter, giggles frantically,
and looks over at Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Laughing wanly, and trying generally</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</SPAN></span>
<i>not to appear as though she’d been crying</i>]
You’ve been very sweet.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Not half so sweet as you were on that
stage tonight! [<i>Speaking confidentially, and with great
conviction</i>] Dear child, you’re made! Absolutely made!
[<i>Turning to Ritter</i>] Isn’t she, Frederick? [<i>But he’s
busy getting rid of some ashes in the fireplace, so she
returns to Mrs. Ritter.</i>] It’s one of those overnight
things that one reads about! [<i>She picks up the basket
of tulips from the floor and teeters around above
the table.</i>] Dear me, look at this wilderness of flowers!
[<i>She sets the basket on the table.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Trying not to cry</i>] Yes, yes, aren’t
they beautiful! [<i>She darts a look at Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Rapturously</i>] Not another word until
I’ve kissed you! [<i>She kisses her on the left side of
the head.</i>] Oh, you sweet child! [<i>She shakes Mrs.
Ritter by the shoulders.</i>] what can I <i>say</i> to you! [<i>Then
she teeters to the middle of the room, addressing Ritter
directly.</i>] See here, young man! Why aren’t you
just <i>pelting</i> your wife with these flowers? [<i>He tries
to hide his appreciation of the situation by turning
away his head.</i>] Answer me! [<i>He bursts out laughing,
and Nelly teeters back towards Mrs. Ritter.</i>] My
dear, the man is so pleased he can’t talk! [<i>Ritter
laughs a little more.</i>] And if you were any other woman
but his wife, Paula, he’d be sending you mash-notes!
[<i>Ritter begins to laugh again, and Nelly teeters
towards him.</i>] Oh, you can laugh all you like, Frederick<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</SPAN></span>
Ritter, but you can’t fool Nelly Fell! [<i>She comes
back towards Mrs. Ritter, addressing her.</i>] I’ve had
three husbands,—I know their tricks. [<i>She places her
finger on Mrs. Ritter’s shoulder.</i>] Pauline, dear child,
you may be sure that that young man is proud of you
tonight if he never was before. [<i>Mrs. Ritter tries to
laugh.</i>] And when he gets you alone—[<i>Mrs. Ritter’s
attempt at laughter is instantly abandoned, and she
gives a startled glance toward Ritter, who turns away
to his left and goes up towards the mantelpiece.</i>] Oh,
when he gets you alone! [<i>Mrs. Fell turns slowly and
looks toward Ritter, with a roguish expression and a
measured shaking of her finger at him.</i>] He’s going to
tell you you were the loveliest thing that ever stepped
on a stage. If he hasn’t done so already. Have you,
Frederick? [<i>She looks at him with a mischievous eye.</i>]
Have you? [<i>He laughs, at the irony of the situation.
She crosses towards him.</i>] Come on, ’fess up!—I know
the position is difficult! [<i>He laughs hard, and she
laughs with him; then turns back to Mrs. Ritter. Jenny
comes in from the right hallway.</i>] You see, my dear,
the man is so pleased he can’t talk! [<i>She sees Jenny
passing along the hallway and steps quickly up to the
center-door.</i>] Oh, Jenny dear! Will you take these
violets out and put them in some water.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> [<i>Taking the violets</i>] Yes, mam. [<i>Mrs.
Pampinelli enters at the left door, with a glass of
water.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I’m afraid they’ll be all withered.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</SPAN></span>
[<i>Jenny continues on into the left hallway. Mrs. Fell
turns around into the room again.</i>] Where’s Mrs. P.?
[<i>Sees Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] Oh, there you are! I was just
wondering where you were.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Crossing above the table at
the left, towards Mrs. Ritter</i>] Did you get the smelling-salts,
Jenny?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Jenny.</span> Yes, mam, I gave them to Mrs. Ritter.
[<i>She goes out at the left hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Yes, Betty, I have them.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Coming a step or two forward</i>] Well,
Betty, you see we managed to get them all here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Back of the table below the
piano, and at Mrs. Ritter’s left</i>] Here, try and drink
this, Paula. [<i>Mrs. Ritter takes the water and tries
to drink it; and Mrs. Pampinelli leans solicitously
over her. There is a pause.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Coming anxiously down at Mrs. Ritter’s
left</i>] What’s the matter?—[<i>She looks at Mrs.
Pampinelli.</i>] Is Paula sick?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Straightening up, and very imperiously</i>]
The <i>critic</i>—has been giving his impressions
of our play.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Who? [<i>She turns towards Ritter.</i>]
This critic here, you mean? [<i>She indicates Ritter and
then looks at Mrs. Pampinelli. Mrs. Pampinelli inclines
her head, with the suggestion of a derisive smile,
and passes up to the center-door. Mrs. Fell crosses</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</SPAN></span>
<i>quickly towards Ritter.</i>] What have you been saying,
Frederick Ritter?—Huh?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Laying the glass of water down on
the table</i>] Oh, what does it matter, Nelly, what he’s
been saying!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Turning sharply to Mrs. Ritter</i>]
What?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Trying not to cry</i>] I say—I say
[<i>She bursts into tears.</i>] I say what does it matter what
he’s been saying!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> It doesn’t matter in the least, as far
as I’m concerned—[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli turns at the
center-door and comes forward slowly in the middle
of the room.</i>] there’s only one thing he <i>could</i> say, if
he told the truth.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Laying her hand on Mrs.
Fell’s left arm</i>] Eleanor, dear child,—husbands are
not always particular about telling the truth—where
the abilities of their wives are concerned. If <i>I</i> had listened
to the promptings of my own soul, instead of
to my husband, when I was a younger woman, I should
in all probability be one of the leading figures in the
American Theatre today. But I was fool enough,
like a lot of other women, to believe that my husband
had my welfare at heart,—when the fact of the matter
was, as I see it now, when it’s too late,—he was
simply jealous of my artistic promise. [<i>The cuckoo-clock
strikes the midnight hour. Ritter turns and
looks up at it, then glances at Mrs. Pampinelli. She</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</SPAN></span>
<i>is looking up at the clock distrustfully. Mrs. Fell
raises her eyes discreetly to it, then drops them to the
floor.</i>] Why, the night I played Hazel Kirke, I had
my best friends in tears: yet, when I returned from
the hall, and the entire town of Cohoes ringing with
my name,—my husband had the effrontery to tell me
that I was so terrific he was obliged to leave the hall
before the end of the first act. So,—[<i>She turns to
Mrs. Ritter.</i>] if this gentleman here has set himself
up as your critic, Paula,—remember <i>my</i> story,—the
actress without honor in her own house. [<i>She sweeps
across below the piano to the window.</i>] Is my car out
here, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Moving over a bit towards Mrs.
Ritter</i>] Yes, it’s there. I told Matthew he needn’t
bother coming back for me, that you’d take me home.
[<i>Mrs. Ritter begins to cry softly, and Mrs. Fell steps
to her left and puts her hand on her shoulder.</i>] Don’t
do that, Paula. [<i>She turns sharply and goes towards
Ritter.</i>] What was the matter with that performance,
Frederick Ritter?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Over at the left, below the mantelpiece</i>]
Why, they didn’t even know their lines!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Straightening up abruptly and
looking at him, reproachfully</i>] Oh!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning sharply from the
window</i>] That is a falsehood! They ran over every
line last night, right here in this room,—and
they knew—practically all of them.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What good was that, if they couldn’t remember
them on the stage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>To Ritter</i>] I <i>could</i> remember them
on the stage! [<i>Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] I never
missed <i>one</i> line!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Ritter</i>] They <i>could</i> remember
them on the stage!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Ritter</i>] Not a line.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> She and that other woman sat there blinking
at the audience like a couple of sparrow-hawks.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> They did nothing of the kind.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Of course they didn’t!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Speaking directly to Mrs. Fell</i>] How do
you know? <i>You</i> weren’t out there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I could see them through the scenery,
couldn’t I? And they didn’t look anything <i>like</i> a
couple of sparrow-hawks,—as you say.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Contemptuously</i>] Well, as I
have never seen a couple of sparrow-hawks, I cannot
appreciate the comparison.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Well, you’d have seen a couple tonight,
if you’d been with me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Oh, don’t argue with him, Betty!
He’s only trying to be smart.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why didn’t one of them <i>say</i> something?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What could they have said?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why, any commonplace! It’d have been<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</SPAN></span>
better than just sitting there blinking. [<i>Mrs. Ritter
weeps.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> One can’t be commonplace in
high comedy.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Was that what it was?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Bitterly</i>] What did you <i>think</i>
it was?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning and going up to the center-door</i>]
<i>You</i> tell her, Nelly; I haven’t got the heart.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Moving a little towards the right</i>]
You bold thing. [<i>Nelly is wearing the gown she wore
in the preceding act, and a heavy cloak of old-rose-colored
velvet. She lays her hand on Mrs. Ritter’s
left shoulder.</i>] Don’t let him upset you this way,
Paula. [<i>There is a little pause. Ritter turns at the
center-door and comes forward again at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Picking up her fan from the
piano</i>] I suppose <i>you</i> would have eclipsed Edwin Booth,
if <i>you</i> had been up there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Well, I’d have known better than to sit
there blinking at the audience.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning sharply to him</i>] I didn’t
<i>blink</i> at the audience.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Don’t answer him, honey.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What could they have done
under the circumstances?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why, they could have covered it up!—if
they’d had any brains.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Covered it up with <i>what</i>?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Why, with anything! Impromptu conversation!
[<i>Mrs. Fell looks at Mrs. Pampinelli and
smiles pityingly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And have the audience <i>laugh</i>
at them?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> They laughed anyhow, didn’t they?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Taking a step or two towards him</i>]
That was not their fault!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>To Nelly</i>] Whose fault <i>was it</i>?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Imperiously, and moving over
to a point above the table at which Mrs. Ritter is sitting</i>]
It was Mr. Spindler’s fault.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Mr. Spindler.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> He promised to attend to the
various properties and he did <i>not</i> attend to them.—There
was supposed to be a pen and ink on the desk
for Mrs. Rush to leave a note for Doctor Arlington;—and
when Paula sat down to write the note, there
was no pen—and no ink. So she simply had to go
on sitting there until Mr. Spearing went off and got
them.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I thought he’d left town.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Oh, he wasn’t gone so very long,
Frederick Ritter!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Bitterly, to Mrs. Fell</i>] Not
five minutes.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I thought the show’ud be over before he’d
get back.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> The door wouldn’t open when<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</SPAN></span>
he attempted to go back, so he was obliged to go around
to the other side. [<i>She illustrates the circumstance
by waving her fan in a circular gesture about the
table. Ritter bursts out laughing. Nelly glares at
him, then looks to Mrs. Pampinelli, who, with a deadly,
level look, turns and moves haughtily up towards the
center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What happened to the skinny guy’s mustache,
that it kept falling off every other line?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to him, up near the
center-door</i>] It only fell off twice, don’t exaggerate.
[<i>Ritter laughs again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> You bold thing!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> How many times was it <i>supposed</i> to fall
off?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, what if it fell off a dozen
times,—everybody knew it wasn’t real! [<i>He roars.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> It’s a lucky thing for you, Frederick
Ritter, that you’re not <i>my</i> husband!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Quietly</i>] That goes both ways, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Moving across towards him</i>] Well,—when
you do something that you’ll get so many flowers
that my limousine will have to make three trips to
get them to the various hospitals,—we may pay more
attention to what you have to say. [<i>She turns away
and moves back towards the center of the room, where
Mrs. Pampinelli is just moving forward from the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I suppose most of the audience have gone<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</SPAN></span>
with the flowers, haven’t they? [<i>Nelly whirls round
to retort, but Mrs. Pampinelli lays a restraining hand
upon her right arm.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With immortal authority</i>]
Don’t answer him, Eleanor—“Envy loves a lofty
mark.” The next time we have a part that calls for
a very limited intelligence, we’ll engage Mr. Ritter
for it. [<i>She moves a little down to the right towards
Mrs. Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Looking at Ritter</i>] Now!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Casually</i>] Well, if you do, he’ll know
how to walk across the stage without tripping every
other step.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Who tripped every other step?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Indicating his wife</i>] The weeping-willow
there. [<i>Mrs. Ritter begins to weep afresh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> It’s a wonder to me you’re not afraid
to lie so!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> She tripped when she first came through
the door! I was looking right at her.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to him</i>] She didn’t
<i>fall</i>, did she?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> No, but it looked for a while there as
though she were going to. [<i>Mrs. Ritter’s weeping becomes
audible again.</i>] I very nearly had heart failure.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Laying her hand on Paula’s
shoulder</i>] Don’t mind him, Paula.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> She tripped when she came <i>on</i> the stage,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</SPAN></span>
she tripped when she went <i>off</i>, and she tripped over
the rug when she went over to the desk!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With measured finality</i>] She
didn’t trip any oftener than anybody else. [<i>He laughs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Directly to Ritter</i>] No, nor half so
often as some of the others,—[<i>Turning towards Mrs.
Pampinelli</i>] now that you speak of it! [<i>She turns and
goes up to the hallway.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I will admit that Mr. Hossefrosse
is a bit unsteady,—but that is due to his weak
ankles.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> What was the star’s unsteadiness due to?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> The rugs!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking at her keenly</i>] What?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli</span>, together.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> The rugs.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Moving to the center of the
room</i>] The rugs!</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Those funny rugs—that they
have down there. We didn’t use them at the rehearsals,—and,
naturally, when it came to the performance,—Paula
wasn’t accustomed to them.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> She was accustomed to rugs at home,
wasn’t she?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Tersely</i>] Well, she wasn’t at
home on the stage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>With a gesture of complete acquiesence,
and moving up towards the center-door</i>] That’s my
argument in a nutshell. [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli stands</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</SPAN></span>
<i>frozen in the middle of the room, with an expression
very much as though she were trying mentally to assassinate
him. He comes back down again at the left,
to his former position.</i>] Why, I couldn’t hear <i>two-thirds</i>
of what she said.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, evidently there were many
people there who <i>could</i> hear what she said, for they
laughed at all her points. [<i>She turns and goes to the
piano, where she picks up several roses. Mrs. Fell
comes forward through the center-door and down towards
the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I wanted to laugh, too, but I was afraid
somebody’d turn around and <i>see</i> me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning to Mrs. Ritter</i>] Are
you ready, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Yes, I’m ready.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Are you going, Betty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Yes, I must, darling, it’s getting
late. [<i>She places her hand on Mrs. Ritter s
shoulder.</i>] Good night, dear. [<i>She passes up towards
the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Good night, Betty.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Laying her hand on Mrs. Ritter’s
shoulder</i>] Good night, Paula child.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Good night, Nelly. [<i>Nelly follows
Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Stopping in the center-door
and turning to Ritter</i>] Perhaps, at our <i>next</i> performance,—Mr.
Ritter will favor us with the benefit of<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</SPAN></span>
some of his suggestions. [<i>She regards him with a touch
of lofty amusement. He turns his head towards her
and looks at her with a kind of mischievous squint.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Quite pleasantly</i>] There aren’t going to
be any more performances, Mrs. Pampinelli, as far as
anybody in <i>this</i> house is concerned.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>After a steady pause</i>] No?
[<i>He inclines his head in quiet emphasis.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Not until there’s a change in the management.
[<i>There is another taut pause.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Coldly</i>] Really? [<i>He inclines
his head again.</i>] Then, I’m afraid we sha’n’t have
you with us, Mr. Ritter.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Smiling</i>] I know very well you won’t
have <i>me</i> with you. And as far as Mrs. Ritter’s concerned,—she’s
got a very good home here—and I love
her; and any time she feels any dramatic instinct coming
on, there’s a very nice roomy attic upstairs, and she can
go up there and lock the door, and nobody’ll ever see
or hear her. But if she ever gets mixed up again in
anything like that atrocity I saw tonight,—I’m
through. [<i>He speaks the last words with quiet definiteness,
and turns towards the door at the left.</i>] And
she’ll get killed in the bargain. [<i>He hits the door open
with the palm of his hand and goes out. There is a
slight pause: then Nelly Fell crosses quickly towards
the mantelpiece, addressing Ritter as she goes.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Why, Fred Ritter!—I’ve heard you<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</SPAN></span>
say yourself that you were in <i>favor</i> of a Little Theatre
in this city!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Coming in again through the door at the
left, carrying his overcoat, derby and scarf</i>] So I am!
I say so again. [<i>He stops inside the door.</i>] But in the
light of that cataclysm tonight, you’ll pardon me if I
add, that I do not see the connection.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Stepping forward to the middle
of the room and challenging him with a lift of her
head and brows</i>] What did you <i>expect</i> to <i>see</i>, Mr. Ritter,—a
finished performance from a group of comparative
amateurs?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I expected to see something almost as bad
as what I saw;—that’s the reason I <i>fainted</i> last night
and was unconscious for twenty-four hours at the prospect
of it. [<i>He turns to Mrs. Fell and speaks quite
colloquially.</i>] And that’s the first time in my life I’ve
ever fainted. [<i>Nelly just gives him a look and turns
her head away.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Don’t mind him, Betty,—he’s only
trying to show off.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With bitter amusement</i>] No,
but I’m a bit <i>curious</i>—to know just <i>how</i> Mr. Ritter
would expect to <i>accomplish</i> the establishment of a Little
Theatre here, unless through the medium of such performances
as this one this evening. How else is our
local talent to be discovered—or developed?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Well, I’m equally curious, Mrs. Pampinelli,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</SPAN></span>
as to your exact <i>qualifications</i>—as a discoverer or
developer of talent for the theatre.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> That is a very familiar attitude.
People who <i>do</i> things—are constantly having
their ability to do them called into question. [<i>She
moves a step further forward and towards Mrs. Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> I’m afraid that’s something you’ve read
somewhere. [<i>She glares at him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> The theatre is a matter of instinct.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> The theatre is a matter of qualifications,—the
same as any other profession; and it will only be
<i>through</i> those particular qualifications that your Little
Theatre will ever be brought about. [<i>He crosses over
in front of Mrs. Fell and up towards the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Well, perhaps you will come to
the rescue;—you seem so familiar with the various
necessities of the Little Theatre. [<i>He stops, just to
the left of the center-door, and looks at Mrs. Pampinelli
straight.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Quietly</i>] I am also familiar, Mrs. Pampinelli,
with a little remark that Mr. Napoleon made
on one occasion, a long time ago;—about the immorality
of assuming a position for which one is unqualified.
[<i>There is a pause,—he settles his coat on his
arm, then moves slowly out through the center-door
into the hallway: while Mrs. Pampinelli, with an expression</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</SPAN></span>
<i>of eternal exclusion, moves over between the
piano and the table towards the window.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning</i>] Fred Ritter, where are
you going?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Lighting his cigar in the hallway, just
outside the center-door</i>] I haven’t the faintest idea.
But I shouldn’t be surprised if I’d go on the stage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Standing back of the arm-chair at
the left</i>] One star is enough in the family.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Bowing very graciously to her</i>] Applause—[<i>She
turns away and looks straight ahead. Then
Ritter bows towards Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>] and great
laughter—[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli isn’t looking at him, but
she knows that that is meant for her, so she simply
moves another step or two towards the window. Mrs.
Ritter turns to see what Ritter is doing. He takes a
step and leans forward towards her, speaking rather
confidentially.</i>] followed by booing. [<i>She turns back
again and starts to cry, while he continues out into the
right hallway and up the stairs. As he mounts the stairs,
he holds aloft his lighted cigar, after the fashion of a
zealous bearer of the torch.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Picking up the orchids from
the table below the window</i>] Paula, you should have
Jenny put these orchids in water; they keep ever so long
in a cool place. [<i>She comes across towards the left,
below the piano.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Will you call her, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Crossing to meet Mrs. Pampinelli</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</SPAN></span>
Give them to me, Betty, I’ll take them out to her.
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli gives her the orchids.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Tell her to put them in a cool
place. [<i>Nelly starts up for the center-door. The telephone-bell
rings.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Will you answer that, Nelly?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Setting the orchids down on the chair
in the left hallway</i>] Certainly, darling.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing back of Mrs. Ritter’s
chair</i>] If it’s anything concerning the play, I shall be
at home on Tuesday at two.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>At the telephone</i>] Yes?—Yes?—Who?—Oh,—well,
wait just one moment, please.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What is it?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Holding the transmitter against her
bosom and leaning over the partition towards Mrs.
Pampinelli</i>] It’s the Star Moving Picture Company.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> What do they want?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> They want the address of Mrs. Ritter’s
manager. [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli gives a quick look at Mrs.
Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Ritter</i>] I anticipated
this. [<i>She goes quickly towards the center-door,
laying her fan and roses on the left partition-seat, as
she passes out into the hallway.</i>] Give it to me, Nelly.
[<i>Nelly hands her the telephone, and, picking up the orchids
from the chair, tiptoes back of Mrs. Pampinelli
and in through the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>In an excited whisper to Mrs. Ritter</i>]<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</SPAN></span>
What did I tell you! [<i>She giggles nervously, shakes
her finger at Mrs. Ritter, and then watches Mrs. Pampinelli
eagerly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Hello-hello—This
is Mrs. Ritter’s manager speaking. Mrs.
Pampinelli. Pampinelli. Mrs. J. <i>Duro</i> Pampinelli.
Capital P—a—m, p—i—n, e—double l—i.—Correct.
Yes—I see—I see.—Well, how do you mean, a thousand
dollars, a thousand dollars a day, or a thous—I
see. Well, just one moment, please. [<i>She lowers the
telephone and leans towards Mrs. Ritter, speaking in
a subdued tone.</i>] The Star Moving Picture Company
wants to know if Mrs. Ritter will appear in a special
production of tonight’s play before the camera.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Narrowing her left eye</i>] What’s the
figure?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> One thousand dollars per week.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Definitely</i>] Fifteen hundred.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Hello-hello!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Rising</i>] Maybe I’d better talk to
them.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Suggesting with a gesture that she
be quiet and resume her chair</i>] Please, dear. [<i>Mrs.
Ritter meekly sits down again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Why, I’m
sorry,—but Mrs. Ritter does not appear under fifteen
hundred dollars per week.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Watching her shrewdly</i>] Net! [<i>Mrs.</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</SPAN></span>
<i>Pampinelli turns and looks at her sharply, and Nelly
emphasizes what she said by inclining her head: then
Mrs. Pampinelli speaks into the telephone again.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Net.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] It’s a bargain
at that. [<i>She nods towards Mrs. Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Into telephone</i>] Twelve-fifty?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> No compromise.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Into telephone</i>] Well, just
one moment. [<i>Covering the transmitter and speaking
to Mrs. Fell</i>] Twelve-fifty is offered.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Definitely</i>] Fifteen hundred dollars.
They’ll lift it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Turning back to the telephone</i>]
Why, I’m very sorry,—but Mrs. Ritter positively
does not appear under fifteen hundred dollars.
[<i>Nelly inclines her head towards her.</i>] Net. Well, how
do you mean satisfactory? Satisfactory at our figure?
[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli glances at Mrs. Fell and Mrs. Fell
glances at Mrs. Ritter.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>To Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] Sign!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Very well,
then,—signed at fifteen hundred dollars per week,—</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Net!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Into the telephone</i>] Net! And
Mrs. Ritter appears. [<i>She stands holding the telephone
and listening.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Whirling round and teetering down
to Paula</i>] Our STAR! I always said it! [<i>She shakes</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</SPAN></span>
<i>Mrs. Ritter by the shoulders.</i>] I always said it! [<i>She
whirls round and teeters up towards the center-door.</i>]
Haven’t I always said it, Betty? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
is listening on the telephone, and tries, by dint of thrusting
the telephone towards Nelly, to silence her. But
Nelly is irrepressible.</i>] That it was only a question of
time? [<i>She turns and flies down towards Mrs. Ritter
again.</i>] We must telephone Mrs. Livingston at once,
Paula!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Be quiet, Nelly, be quiet!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Rushing up towards the center-door
again</i>] She’ll be so interested! We must call up Mrs.
Livingston right away, Betty!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Please, Nelly! [<i>Nelly is silenced.
Mrs. Pampinelli listens sharply, Nelly and
Mrs. Ritter watching her; and there is a dead pause.</i>]
Beg pardon? [<i>There is another slight pause; and then
Mrs. Pampinelli utters an abrupt shriek and sets down
the telephone.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> What is it, Betty? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli
looks at her, then straight ahead.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>With venomous enunciation</i>]
It’s Ritter! [<i>Mrs. Ritter rises slowly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Ritter? [<i>Mrs. Pampinelli doesn’t
stir.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Addressing Mrs. Pampinelli</i>] Fred?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I recognized his voice. [<i>She
moves along the left hallway and comes in through the</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</SPAN></span>
<i>center-door and forward, a little to the left of the center
of the room.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Up just to the right of the center-door</i>]
Why, where is he?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Beginning to cry</i>] He must be on
the extension upstairs. [<i>Nelly listens keenly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> It is he; I hear him laughing. [<i>She
crosses down to the door at the left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Taking a step towards Mrs.
Ritter</i>] Sit down, Paula. [<i>Mrs. Ritter sits down,
rests her elbows on the table and weeps bitterly. Nelly
stops over at the door and turns.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Positively</i>] Paula,—if he were <i>my</i>
husband, I should lose no time in having him arrested.
[<i>She goes out, at the left door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> [<i>Standing back of Mrs. Ritter’s
chair</i>] Paula dear, I do hope that you are not going
to allow Mr. Ritter’s flippancies to discourage you.
[<i>Paula clasps her hands in her lap and looks tearfully at
the backs of them.</i>] The way of the essential artist is
always hard; and so very frequently the most serious
obstacles are those to be encountered at home.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> But, I feel so unsuccessful.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> I know, dear—I know exactly
how you feel. But you must <i>go on</i>. Just remember
that art is the highest expression of truth,—and you
cannot fail. For you have everything in your favor,
Paula.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Weakly</i>] Thank you.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And the masses need you, dear;
you are an altogether <i>new note</i> in the theatre.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> But—I don’t know whether Fred’ll
<i>want</i> me to go on any more—[<i>Mrs. Pampinelli suddenly
becomes very still and stoney, and looks down at
Mrs. Ritter with merciless inquiry. Mrs. Ritter senses
the change and turns hastily to explain.</i>] the way he
spoke.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> And, do you mean that you
will allow him to <i>stop</i> you, Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Breaking down under Mrs. Pampinelli’s
frozen amusement</i>] Well, of course, he’s my
<i>husband</i>, Betty. [<i>She cries. Mrs. Pampinelli regards
her with a kind of pained toleration; and settles her
cloak, preparatory to going.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Pampinelli.</span> Very well, then, Paula—if you
feel that way about it, I should advise you to keep
him; and I shan’t waste any more of my time encouraging
you. [<i>She sweeps around to her left and up towards
the center-door.</i>] There are far too many who
are only too <i>willing</i> to make the necessary sacrifices
without being urged. [<i>She picks up her fan and roses
from the partition-seat, lays them across her left arm,
and turns regnantly to Mrs. Ritter.</i>] Only remember
this, Paula,—there will be actresses when husbands are
a thing of the past. [<i>She sweeps out through the center-door
and out into the right hallway. There is a
slight pause; then Nelly Fell comes in at the left door.
She misses Mrs. Pampinelli.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Where is Mrs. P., Paula?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> She’s just gone out to the car, Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Stooping to pick up one of the chrysanthemums
from the floor</i>] Do you mind if I take one
of these flowers, Paula? [<i>She stands in the middle of
the room, holding it, and looking at Mrs. Ritter.</i>] I
want it for my dramatic shrine.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> You can take them all if you like.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Why, what would <i>you</i> do, dear?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I don’t want them.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Crossing towards her</i>] Now, you
mustn’t feel like that, Paula Ritter.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Having all she can do to keep from
crying</i>] I just can’t help it.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> I see in your husband’s attitude—nothing
but a desperate attempt to save his home;—for
he <i>must</i> know what your performance tonight will
inevitably lead to. [<i>Mrs. Ritter turns with a puzzled
expression and looks at her.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I don’t understand what you mean,
Nelly.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Why, you must go to New York, dear;
you can do nothing dramatically here.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> But, I have a husband.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> [<i>Very casually</i>] Every married woman
has that cross, darling. But you mustn’t let it stand
in the way of your career; he would very soon eliminate
<i>you</i>, if you stood in the way of <i>his</i>.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> But, I don’t like the thought of<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</SPAN></span>
breaking up his home, Nelly. [<i>Nelly gives a hard,
knowing little laugh.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Don’t be unnecessarily sacrificial, darling.
I made that mistake with my first <i>two</i> husbands;
but I was <i>wiser</i> with the third. And I said to him,
immediately we returned from the church, I said,
“Now, Leonard, you and I have just been made one;
and <i>I</i> am that one.” [<i>She touches herself on the breastbone
with her forefinger, then touches Paula on the
left shoulder.</i>] And it worked out beautifully. So be
sensible, darling. [<i>She skips up towards the hallway.</i>]
I must run along, Mrs. Pampinelli’s waiting! [<i>She
teeters out through the center-door into the right hallway.</i>]
Cheerio, Paula darling!</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Good night.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Fell.</span> Cheerio! [<i>She giggles and vanishes into
the right hallway. Mrs. Ritter sits still for a second,
looking from side to side, at nothing, particularly,
and presently gets up. The horseshoe of “SUCCESS”
over in front of the mantelpiece catches her eye, and
she wanders slowly towards it. But the irony of it all
overcomes her and she commences to cry again. Ritter
appears at the head of the stairs and starts down. She
turns and looks at him, as he comes through the center-door.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Fred Ritter, those women will never
come inside that door again, the way you talked to
them. [<i>He moves to the piano and leans against it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</SPAN></span><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Well, I don’t suppose that’ll make very
much difference.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking straight ahead</i>] Well, it
<i>should</i> make a difference.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> They’d hardly come here to see <i>me</i>, anyway.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Well, they’d come to see me.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> But <i>you</i> won’t be here. [<i>She turns and
looks at him blankly.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Why,—what—what do you mean, I
won’t be here?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>With a touch of delicacy</i>] Why, aren’t you
going on with <i>The Work</i>?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Well, I don’t want to go unless you
<i>want</i> me to.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> But, I <i>do</i> want you to. I don’t think a
talent like yours should be hidden; [<i>He looks straight
out, thoughtfully.</i>] it’s too unique.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> I thought you said a while ago you
didn’t like me?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Raising his left hand and crossing over and
down in front of her towards the arm-chair at the
left</i>] You mustn’t hold me responsible for what I said
a while ago—[<i>He stops back of the arm-chair and
rests his hand upon the back of it.</i>] I was panic-stricken
at the thought of having my home broken up. [<i>She
moves down to the center of the room.</i>] But I’ve been
thinking it over upstairs, and I’ve concluded that it’s<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</SPAN></span>
more important that the world should see you act, than
that I should have a home to come to.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> But, I don’t like the thought of
breaking up your home, Fred.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Raising his right hand to her with a touch
of solemnity</i>] You mustn’t consider me in the matter
at all, dear. Every great gift has its victim—and I am,
in a way, rather happy—to find myself chosen the victim
of yours.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> What would <i>you</i> do, if I were to go?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>With the faintest shade of classic pose</i>]
I’d go with you; you’d need someone to look after the
flowers—see that they got to the various hospitals all
right.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking away out</i>] I might not like
it, after I’d get there.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> Maybe not. I suppose fame becomes monotonous
like everything else. But, I wouldn’t want
you in the future, to look back and feel that I had
stood in your way.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Carefully</i>] No, Fred,—I really don’t
<i>know</i> whether I want to be a great actress or not.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> But, you are a great actress, dear.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> Thank you.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Indicating the anchor of roses down at the
left</i>] Look at this anchor,—of hope. [<i>He steps back
and picks up the horseshoe.</i>] And this horseshoe of
“SUCCESS.” [<i>He brings it forward and sets it
down just to Mrs. Ritter’s left. Then he steps across</i><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</SPAN></span>
<i>in front of it, takes her hand and slips his right arm
around her waist.</i>] And I think, Paula, it might be a
very sensible move, to just let the public <i>remember</i> you
as a great actress—as they saw you <i>tonight</i>—<i>at your
best</i>.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Looking wistfully straight ahead</i>]
Do you think they <i>will</i> remember, Fred?</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Ritter.</span> [<i>Inclining his head, with a suggestion of the
obsequious</i>] Yes, I <i>think</i> they will. [<i>Curtain.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Ritter.</span> [<i>Turning and sinking into his arms</i>]
You’re awfully sweet, Fred.</p>
<p class="center">THE END OF THE PLAY</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<div class="transnote">
<p class="ph2">TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:</p>
<p>Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.</p>
<p>Inconsistencies in typesetting have been standardized.</p>
<p>The cover image for this eBook was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p>
</div>
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