<h2 id='chXXVII' class='c005'>CHAPTER XXVII</h2>
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<div>TOWNSEND AND HIS FLIVVER</div>
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<p class='c007'>“I think boy scouts are wonderful,” said a lady boarder.</p>
<p>“Sure they are,” Pee-wee agreed. “They can’t take anything for a
service; they can’t take any money unless they earn it. They’re supposed
to almost starve and then think up a way not to, kind of. See?”</p>
<p>He sat on the edge of the porch waiting for Townsend to transform the
grindstone back into a wheel. “They have to depend on themselves,” he
added. “You can’t starve them because they can eat roots. Of course that
isn’t saying they won’t eat pie.”</p>
<p>“I understand,” said a man.</p>
<p>“They eat most everything,” Pee-wee said.</p>
<p>“Oh, how terrible,” said a girl.</p>
<p>“You don’t call that terrible, do you?” said Pee-wee. “They can imitate
any kind of an animal.”</p>
<p>“Can they imitate a calliope?” the girl asked.</p>
<p>“Is it an animal?” demanded Pee-wee.</p>
<p>“No, it’s a thing that makes a noise by steam; it’s about fifty noises
at once.”</p>
<p>“If I heard it I could imitate it,” Pee-wee said.</p>
<p>“I think you do imitate one very well,” laughed the girl.</p>
<p>Pee-wee took this as a compliment. “How many different noises can you
make?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I can only make one noise when you’re around,” said the girl, “and that
is to laugh.”</p>
<p>“That means you can imitate a hyena,” said Pee-wee, “because they laugh;
girls and hyenas are all the time laughing; they laugh for not any
reason.”</p>
<p>“Oh, thank you,” said the girl.</p>
<p>“Jackasses too,” said Pee-wee.</p>
<p>“Oh, thank you, <i>so much</i>.”</p>
<p>“Well,” said a lonely looking man whose penknife had undergone
treatment, “I wish you fellows were going to stay here. But if you have
to go, why my car is in the barn and I can drain a little gas out of it
to accommodate you. You could—you could buy it, you know,” he added.</p>
<p>He evidently had a pretty correct estimate of scout principles. But on
learning that there was a supply station only a few yards north of the
Brookside Villa grounds, our heroes decided to escort the car that far
by hand. Their departure was therefore even more impressive than their
arrival, Townsend pushing the car while Pee-wee steered it along the
private way and out into the high road.</p>
<p>With their tank replenished by a five gallon supply, they were ready for
the last stage of their momentous journey.</p>
<p>“We ought to make Kingston in an hour,” said Townsend. “What d’you say,
Liz? We ought to hit Saugerties about noontime—”</p>
<p>“You should never hit anybody under your size,” said Pee-wee;
“Saugerties is a small place.”</p>
<p>“Well, then <i>you</i> can hit it,” said Townsend. “Then Kingston, then
Catskill; and we ought to be at camp by about two. That’s allowing for
two blow-outs, three short circuits, a puncture and fourteen hold-ups by
the upstate cops. I’ll throw in a leaky radiator just to be on the safe
side.”</p>
<p>“Of course if we should have any <i>unexpected</i> troubles it would take us
longer. I’m just figuring on the regular every-day program.” Then, as
they rattled along, he sang one verse of a song which had nine million
verses, all of which he knew. He had a way of making the flivver
accompany him with certain noises and tooting the horn twice as a sort
of orchestral finale:</p>
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<div class='line'> “When the rear end starts a-bumping,</div>
<div class='line'> And the engine starts a-thumping,</div>
<div class='line'>And the top falls down and hits you in the neck;</div>
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<div class='line'> When the water starts a-hissing,</div>
<div class='line'> And three cylinders are missing,</div>
<div class='line'>Will you love me when my flivver is a wreck?”</div>
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<p>“Gee whiz, I don’t see how the top can fall down and hit me,” said
Pee-wee. “Do you call that logic?”</p>
<p>“Once it had a fine top, Kid,” said Townsend. “A top that could fall
down—easily—every ten minutes. A real top. It can’t fall down any more,
Kid,” he added sadly. “It would if it could; you shouldn’t make fun of
it.”</p>
<p>“How can I make fun of it when it isn’t there?” Pee-wee shouted.</p>
<p>“That’s just it,” said Townsend; “you talk behind its back when it isn’t
here to fall down on you. Do you call that chivalrous?”</p>
<p>“You’re crazy,” said Pee-wee.</p>
<p>Townsend, sitting up straight in his funny, complacent way as if he were
driving a golden chariot, sang:</p>
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<div class='line'> “When the front wheels are a-wriggling,</div>
<div class='line'> And the busted hood is jiggling,</div>
<div class='line'>And the rusty springs they jounce you all about;</div>
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<div class='line'> When the squeaking never ceases,</div>
<div class='line'> And the windshield is in pieces,</div>
<div class='line'>Will you love me when my Lizzie’s down and out?”</div>
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<p>“You bet your life I will,” said Pee-wee. “Gee whiz, after this whenever
I think of you, I’ll think of this Ford; you’re kind of like partners.”</p>
<p>“In adversity?” said Townsend. “And you won’t be ashamed of us when we
get to Temple Camp? I wonder what they’ll think of us there. I’m kind
of anxious to see the place, I’ve heard so much of it from you.”</p>
<p>“Gee whiz, I’ll always stick up for you and your flivver,” said Pee-wee.</p>
<p>Townsend stuck his feet up where the lower pane of the windshield had once
been and hummed as he caressed the steering-wheel fondly.</p>
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<div class='line'> “When both the brakes are braking,</div>
<div class='line'> And the rattling doors are shaking,</div>
<div class='line'>And you sit upon the bare springs in the seat;</div>
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<div class='line'> Will you love me like you uster,</div>
<div class='line'> When she’s crowing like a rooster,</div>
<div class='line'>And the oilcloth cushions look like shredded wheat?”</div>
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