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Art of Conversation: Twelve Golden Rules

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<h2>GOLDEN RULE NUMBER X</h2> Do not exaggerate. He.—You may remember that one of the extracts that I read to you from my note-book referred to exaggeration in conversation. Do you know, I have been paying attention to this fault, and I find that it is decidedly general even with people who are supposed to be honest and sincere. It is really one phase of falsifying; in my opinion, it is a very disagreeable habit, and one that a person should try to rid himself of. She.—Parents can not be too careful in the bringing up of their children to see that they do not form the habit of exaggerating what they undertake to tell. Why! Some persons can not make the simplest statement without exaggerating the facts. For instance, if one undertakes to give the price of a garment or of some furniture, the amount paid is always increased in the telling of the story; and so with the narration of trivial events—the speaker will enlarge his statements until he presents a [Pg 50]distorted picture to the mental vision of the listener. The exaggeration of facts should certainly be avoided; and a person can overcome this tendency in himself, if, when he finds that he is making a misstatement, he will correct himself, and give a true version. For example, if he finds that he is fixing the cost of a possession at five dollars, when it should be four dollars and fifty cents, he can correct the error without even betraying his intention to falsify. By doing this, he gradually trains himself to adhere to facts; for, while the price of the article may be a matter of small consequence, it is a matter of far more importance that the person who has the habit shall correct his tendency to misstate facts. So again, when one is narrating an incident in one's experience, the same strict adherence to the facts should be observed. In this way a person establishes a reputation for veracity. We all have friends in whose statements we place no reliance, simply because we know that they invariably exaggerate every fact that comes within their observation or experience. I know of no fault in conversation that is more grievous than this nor that can give one such a general air of insincerity in all things. [Pg 51] He.—I know, I have friends whom I can not believe—no matter how serious they are in impressing upon me, the truth of the information that they are so willing to impart. She.—Of course, when persons of this kind attack the reputation of others then, indeed, does their fault become a serious one; but there are many, otherwise well-meaning, persons who would not speak ill of another, who place themselves continually at a disadvantage by their exaggerated speech. There is the school-girl, for example, who finds every person and thing perfectly lovely—or perfectly horrid, as the case may be; who had the most beautiful time in her life last night; who finds her teacher divine; tennis, a dream of delight—everything, no matter what, is just dandy—or dear. Later in life, she may exaggerate as to her husband's income; her children's virtues or appearance; the price of her garments—and in this way she will acquire the unenviable reputation for insincerity, unreliability. No one will give any credence to what she says, simply because she is known always to exaggerate the facts. He.—I feel as you do, and when I find myself enlarging upon the facts, I try immediately to correct my fault and adhere to an actual recital. [Pg 52] She.—Of course, we know that in telling a story for the sake of its humor, a person will sometimes lapse into an enlargement of the details, but, as Rudyard Kipling would say, "That is another story." He.—Had we not better make this Golden Rule Number X.? I wonder whether I can recite all the Golden Rules: <blockquote> Golden Rule Number 1.—Avoid unnecessary details. 2.—Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered, nor be too curious nor too disinterested; that is, do not ask too many questions nor too few. 3.—Do not interrupt another while he is speaking. 4.—Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance. 5.—Do not do all the talking; give your tired listener a chance. 6.—Be not continually the hero of your own story; and, on the other hand, do not leave your story without a hero. 7.—Choose subjects of mutual interest. [Pg 53] 8.—Be a good listener. 9.—Make your speech in harmony with your surroundings. 10.—Do not exaggerate—our new rule. </blockquote> <hr /> [Pg 54] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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