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<h2> CHAPTER 39. WICKFIELD AND HEEP </h2>
<p>My aunt, beginning, I imagine, to be made seriously uncomfortable by my
prolonged dejection, made a pretence of being anxious that I should go to
Dover, to see that all was working well at the cottage, which was let; and
to conclude an agreement, with the same tenant, for a longer term of
occupation. Janet was drafted into the service of Mrs. Strong, where I saw
her every day. She had been undecided, on leaving Dover, whether or not to
give the finishing touch to that renunciation of mankind in which she had
been educated, by marrying a pilot; but she decided against that venture.
Not so much for the sake of principle, I believe, as because she happened
not to like him.</p>
<p>Although it required an effort to leave Miss Mills, I fell rather
willingly into my aunt’s pretence, as a means of enabling me to pass a few
tranquil hours with Agnes. I consulted the good Doctor relative to an
absence of three days; and the Doctor wishing me to take that relaxation,—he
wished me to take more; but my energy could not bear that,—I made up
my mind to go.</p>
<p>As to the Commons, I had no great occasion to be particular about my
duties in that quarter. To say the truth, we were getting in no very good
odour among the tip-top proctors, and were rapidly sliding down to but a
doubtful position. The business had been indifferent under Mr. Jorkins,
before Mr. Spenlow’s time; and although it had been quickened by the
infusion of new blood, and by the display which Mr. Spenlow made, still it
was not established on a sufficiently strong basis to bear, without being
shaken, such a blow as the sudden loss of its active manager. It fell off
very much. Mr. Jorkins, notwithstanding his reputation in the firm, was an
easy-going, incapable sort of man, whose reputation out of doors was not
calculated to back it up. I was turned over to him now, and when I saw him
take his snuff and let the business go, I regretted my aunt’s thousand
pounds more than ever.</p>
<p>But this was not the worst of it. There were a number of hangers-on and
outsiders about the Commons, who, without being proctors themselves,
dabbled in common-form business, and got it done by real proctors, who
lent their names in consideration of a share in the spoil;—and there
were a good many of these too. As our house now wanted business on any
terms, we joined this noble band; and threw out lures to the hangers-on
and outsiders, to bring their business to us. Marriage licences and small
probates were what we all looked for, and what paid us best; and the
competition for these ran very high indeed. Kidnappers and inveiglers were
planted in all the avenues of entrance to the Commons, with instructions
to do their utmost to cut off all persons in mourning, and all gentlemen
with anything bashful in their appearance, and entice them to the offices
in which their respective employers were interested; which instructions
were so well observed, that I myself, before I was known by sight, was
twice hustled into the premises of our principal opponent. The conflicting
interests of these touting gentlemen being of a nature to irritate their
feelings, personal collisions took place; and the Commons was even
scandalized by our principal inveigler (who had formerly been in the wine
trade, and afterwards in the sworn brokery line) walking about for some
days with a black eye. Any one of these scouts used to think nothing of
politely assisting an old lady in black out of a vehicle, killing any
proctor whom she inquired for, representing his employer as the lawful
successor and representative of that proctor, and bearing the old lady off
(sometimes greatly affected) to his employer’s office. Many captives were
brought to me in this way. As to marriage licences, the competition rose
to such a pitch, that a shy gentleman in want of one, had nothing to do
but submit himself to the first inveigler, or be fought for, and become
the prey of the strongest. One of our clerks, who was an outsider, used,
in the height of this contest, to sit with his hat on, that he might be
ready to rush out and swear before a surrogate any victim who was brought
in. The system of inveigling continues, I believe, to this day. The last
time I was in the Commons, a civil able-bodied person in a white apron
pounced out upon me from a doorway, and whispering the word
‘Marriage-licence’ in my ear, was with great difficulty prevented from
taking me up in his arms and lifting me into a proctor’s. From this
digression, let me proceed to Dover.</p>
<p>I found everything in a satisfactory state at the cottage; and was enabled
to gratify my aunt exceedingly by reporting that the tenant inherited her
feud, and waged incessant war against donkeys. Having settled the little
business I had to transact there, and slept there one night, I walked on
to Canterbury early in the morning. It was now winter again; and the
fresh, cold windy day, and the sweeping downland, brightened up my hopes a
little.</p>
<p>Coming into Canterbury, I loitered through the old streets with a sober
pleasure that calmed my spirits, and eased my heart. There were the old
signs, the old names over the shops, the old people serving in them. It
appeared so long, since I had been a schoolboy there, that I wondered the
place was so little changed, until I reflected how little I was changed
myself. Strange to say, that quiet influence which was inseparable in my
mind from Agnes, seemed to pervade even the city where she dwelt. The
venerable cathedral towers, and the old jackdaws and rooks whose airy
voices made them more retired than perfect silence would have done; the
battered gateways, one stuck full with statues, long thrown down, and
crumbled away, like the reverential pilgrims who had gazed upon them; the
still nooks, where the ivied growth of centuries crept over gabled ends
and ruined walls; the ancient houses, the pastoral landscape of field,
orchard, and garden; everywhere—on everything—I felt the same
serener air, the same calm, thoughtful, softening spirit.</p>
<p>Arrived at Mr. Wickfield’s house, I found, in the little lower room on the
ground floor, where Uriah Heep had been of old accustomed to sit, Mr.
Micawber plying his pen with great assiduity. He was dressed in a
legal-looking suit of black, and loomed, burly and large, in that small
office.</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber was extremely glad to see me, but a little confused too. He
would have conducted me immediately into the presence of Uriah, but I
declined.</p>
<p>‘I know the house of old, you recollect,’ said I, ‘and will find my way
upstairs. How do you like the law, Mr. Micawber?’</p>
<p>‘My dear Copperfield,’ he replied. ‘To a man possessed of the higher
imaginative powers, the objection to legal studies is the amount of detail
which they involve. Even in our professional correspondence,’ said Mr.
Micawber, glancing at some letters he was writing, ‘the mind is not at
liberty to soar to any exalted form of expression. Still, it is a great
pursuit. A great pursuit!’</p>
<p>He then told me that he had become the tenant of Uriah Heep’s old house;
and that Mrs. Micawber would be delighted to receive me, once more, under
her own roof.</p>
<p>‘It is humble,’ said Mr. Micawber, ‘—to quote a favourite expression
of my friend Heep; but it may prove the stepping-stone to more ambitious
domiciliary accommodation.’</p>
<p>I asked him whether he had reason, so far, to be satisfied with his friend
Heep’s treatment of him? He got up to ascertain if the door were close
shut, before he replied, in a lower voice:</p>
<p>‘My dear Copperfield, a man who labours under the pressure of pecuniary
embarrassments, is, with the generality of people, at a disadvantage. That
disadvantage is not diminished, when that pressure necessitates the
drawing of stipendiary emoluments, before those emoluments are strictly
due and payable. All I can say is, that my friend Heep has responded to
appeals to which I need not more particularly refer, in a manner
calculated to redound equally to the honour of his head, and of his
heart.’</p>
<p>‘I should not have supposed him to be very free with his money either,’ I
observed.</p>
<p>‘Pardon me!’ said Mr. Micawber, with an air of constraint, ‘I speak of my
friend Heep as I have experience.’</p>
<p>‘I am glad your experience is so favourable,’ I returned.</p>
<p>‘You are very obliging, my dear Copperfield,’ said Mr. Micawber; and
hummed a tune.</p>
<p>‘Do you see much of Mr. Wickfield?’ I asked, to change the subject.</p>
<p>‘Not much,’ said Mr. Micawber, slightingly. ‘Mr. Wickfield is, I dare say,
a man of very excellent intentions; but he is—in short, he is
obsolete.’</p>
<p>‘I am afraid his partner seeks to make him so,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘My dear Copperfield!’ returned Mr. Micawber, after some uneasy evolutions
on his stool, ‘allow me to offer a remark! I am here, in a capacity of
confidence. I am here, in a position of trust. The discussion of some
topics, even with Mrs. Micawber herself (so long the partner of my various
vicissitudes, and a woman of a remarkable lucidity of intellect), is, I am
led to consider, incompatible with the functions now devolving on me. I
would therefore take the liberty of suggesting that in our friendly
intercourse—which I trust will never be disturbed!—we draw a
line. On one side of this line,’ said Mr. Micawber, representing it on the
desk with the office ruler, ‘is the whole range of the human intellect,
with a trifling exception; on the other, IS that exception; that is to
say, the affairs of Messrs Wickfield and Heep, with all belonging and
appertaining thereunto. I trust I give no offence to the companion of my
youth, in submitting this proposition to his cooler judgement?’</p>
<p>Though I saw an uneasy change in Mr. Micawber, which sat tightly on him,
as if his new duties were a misfit, I felt I had no right to be offended.
My telling him so, appeared to relieve him; and he shook hands with me.</p>
<p>‘I am charmed, Copperfield,’ said Mr. Micawber, ‘let me assure you, with
Miss Wickfield. She is a very superior young lady, of very remarkable
attractions, graces, and virtues. Upon my honour,’ said Mr. Micawber,
indefinitely kissing his hand and bowing with his genteelest air, ‘I do
Homage to Miss Wickfield! Hem!’ ‘I am glad of that, at least,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘If you had not assured us, my dear Copperfield, on the occasion of that
agreeable afternoon we had the happiness of passing with you, that D. was
your favourite letter,’ said Mr. Micawber, ‘I should unquestionably have
supposed that A. had been so.’</p>
<p>We have all some experience of a feeling, that comes over us occasionally,
of what we are saying and doing having been said and done before, in a
remote time—of our having been surrounded, dim ages ago, by the same
faces, objects, and circumstances—of our knowing perfectly what will
be said next, as if we suddenly remembered it! I never had this mysterious
impression more strongly in my life, than before he uttered those words.</p>
<p>I took my leave of Mr. Micawber, for the time, charging him with my best
remembrances to all at home. As I left him, resuming his stool and his
pen, and rolling his head in his stock, to get it into easier writing
order, I clearly perceived that there was something interposed between him
and me, since he had come into his new functions, which prevented our
getting at each other as we used to do, and quite altered the character of
our intercourse.</p>
<p>There was no one in the quaint old drawing-room, though it presented
tokens of Mrs. Heep’s whereabouts. I looked into the room still belonging
to Agnes, and saw her sitting by the fire, at a pretty old-fashioned desk
she had, writing.</p>
<p>My darkening the light made her look up. What a pleasure to be the cause
of that bright change in her attentive face, and the object of that sweet
regard and welcome!</p>
<p>‘Ah, Agnes!’ said I, when we were sitting together, side by side; ‘I have
missed you so much, lately!’</p>
<p>‘Indeed?’ she replied. ‘Again! And so soon?’</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know how it is, Agnes; I seem to want some faculty of mind that I
ought to have. You were so much in the habit of thinking for me, in the
happy old days here, and I came so naturally to you for counsel and
support, that I really think I have missed acquiring it.’</p>
<p>‘And what is it?’ said Agnes, cheerfully.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know what to call it,’ I replied. ‘I think I am earnest and
persevering?’</p>
<p>‘I am sure of it,’ said Agnes.</p>
<p>‘And patient, Agnes?’ I inquired, with a little hesitation.</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ returned Agnes, laughing. ‘Pretty well.’</p>
<p>‘And yet,’ said I, ‘I get so miserable and worried, and am so unsteady and
irresolute in my power of assuring myself, that I know I must want—shall
I call it—reliance, of some kind?’</p>
<p>‘Call it so, if you will,’ said Agnes.</p>
<p>‘Well!’ I returned. ‘See here! You come to London, I rely on you, and I
have an object and a course at once. I am driven out of it, I come here,
and in a moment I feel an altered person. The circumstances that
distressed me are not changed, since I came into this room; but an
influence comes over me in that short interval that alters me, oh, how
much for the better! What is it? What is your secret, Agnes?’</p>
<p>Her head was bent down, looking at the fire.</p>
<p>‘It’s the old story,’ said I. ‘Don’t laugh, when I say it was always the
same in little things as it is in greater ones. My old troubles were
nonsense, and now they are serious; but whenever I have gone away from my
adopted sister—’</p>
<p>Agnes looked up—with such a Heavenly face!—and gave me her
hand, which I kissed.</p>
<p>‘Whenever I have not had you, Agnes, to advise and approve in the
beginning, I have seemed to go wild, and to get into all sorts of
difficulty. When I have come to you, at last (as I have always done), I
have come to peace and happiness. I come home, now, like a tired
traveller, and find such a blessed sense of rest!’</p>
<p>I felt so deeply what I said, it affected me so sincerely, that my voice
failed, and I covered my face with my hand, and broke into tears. I write
the truth. Whatever contradictions and inconsistencies there were within
me, as there are within so many of us; whatever might have been so
different, and so much better; whatever I had done, in which I had
perversely wandered away from the voice of my own heart; I knew nothing
of. I only knew that I was fervently in earnest, when I felt the rest and
peace of having Agnes near me.</p>
<p>In her placid sisterly manner; with her beaming eyes; with her tender
voice; and with that sweet composure, which had long ago made the house
that held her quite a sacred place to me; she soon won me from this
weakness, and led me on to tell all that had happened since our last
meeting.</p>
<p>‘And there is not another word to tell, Agnes,’ said I, when I had made an
end of my confidence. ‘Now, my reliance is on you.’</p>
<p>‘But it must not be on me, Trotwood,’ returned Agnes, with a pleasant
smile. ‘It must be on someone else.’</p>
<p>‘On Dora?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Assuredly.’</p>
<p>‘Why, I have not mentioned, Agnes,’ said I, a little embarrassed, ‘that
Dora is rather difficult to—I would not, for the world, say, to rely
upon, because she is the soul of purity and truth—but rather
difficult to—I hardly know how to express it, really, Agnes. She is
a timid little thing, and easily disturbed and frightened. Some time ago,
before her father’s death, when I thought it right to mention to her—but
I’ll tell you, if you will bear with me, how it was.’</p>
<p>Accordingly, I told Agnes about my declaration of poverty, about the
cookery-book, the housekeeping accounts, and all the rest of it.</p>
<p>‘Oh, Trotwood!’ she remonstrated, with a smile. ‘Just your old headlong
way! You might have been in earnest in striving to get on in the world,
without being so very sudden with a timid, loving, inexperienced girl.
Poor Dora!’</p>
<p>I never heard such sweet forbearing kindness expressed in a voice, as she
expressed in making this reply. It was as if I had seen her admiringly and
tenderly embracing Dora, and tacitly reproving me, by her considerate
protection, for my hot haste in fluttering that little heart. It was as if
I had seen Dora, in all her fascinating artlessness, caressing Agnes, and
thanking her, and coaxingly appealing against me, and loving me with all
her childish innocence.</p>
<p>I felt so grateful to Agnes, and admired her so! I saw those two together,
in a bright perspective, such well-associated friends, each adorning the
other so much!</p>
<p>‘What ought I to do then, Agnes?’ I inquired, after looking at the fire a
little while. ‘What would it be right to do?’</p>
<p>‘I think,’ said Agnes, ‘that the honourable course to take, would be to
write to those two ladies. Don’t you think that any secret course is an
unworthy one?’</p>
<p>‘Yes. If YOU think so,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘I am poorly qualified to judge of such matters,’ replied Agnes, with a
modest hesitation, ‘but I certainly feel—in short, I feel that your
being secret and clandestine, is not being like yourself.’</p>
<p>‘Like myself, in the too high opinion you have of me, Agnes, I am afraid,’
said I.</p>
<p>‘Like yourself, in the candour of your nature,’ she returned; ‘and
therefore I would write to those two ladies. I would relate, as plainly
and as openly as possible, all that has taken place; and I would ask their
permission to visit sometimes, at their house. Considering that you are
young, and striving for a place in life, I think it would be well to say
that you would readily abide by any conditions they might impose upon you.
I would entreat them not to dismiss your request, without a reference to
Dora; and to discuss it with her when they should think the time suitable.
I would not be too vehement,’ said Agnes, gently, ‘or propose too much. I
would trust to my fidelity and perseverance—and to Dora.’</p>
<p>‘But if they were to frighten Dora again, Agnes, by speaking to her,’ said
I. ‘And if Dora were to cry, and say nothing about me!’</p>
<p>‘Is that likely?’ inquired Agnes, with the same sweet consideration in her
face.</p>
<p>‘God bless her, she is as easily scared as a bird,’ said I. ‘It might be!
Or if the two Miss Spenlows (elderly ladies of that sort are odd
characters sometimes) should not be likely persons to address in that
way!’</p>
<p>‘I don’t think, Trotwood,’ returned Agnes, raising her soft eyes to mine,
‘I would consider that. Perhaps it would be better only to consider
whether it is right to do this; and, if it is, to do it.’</p>
<p>I had no longer any doubt on the subject. With a lightened heart, though
with a profound sense of the weighty importance of my task, I devoted the
whole afternoon to the composition of the draft of this letter; for which
great purpose, Agnes relinquished her desk to me. But first I went
downstairs to see Mr. Wickfield and Uriah Heep.</p>
<p>I found Uriah in possession of a new, plaster-smelling office, built out
in the garden; looking extraordinarily mean, in the midst of a quantity of
books and papers. He received me in his usual fawning way, and pretended
not to have heard of my arrival from Mr. Micawber; a pretence I took the
liberty of disbelieving. He accompanied me into Mr. Wickfield’s room,
which was the shadow of its former self—having been divested of a
variety of conveniences, for the accommodation of the new partner—and
stood before the fire, warming his back, and shaving his chin with his
bony hand, while Mr. Wickfield and I exchanged greetings.</p>
<p>‘You stay with us, Trotwood, while you remain in Canterbury?’ said Mr.
Wickfield, not without a glance at Uriah for his approval.</p>
<p>‘Is there room for me?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘I am sure, Master Copperfield—I should say Mister, but the other
comes so natural,’ said Uriah,—‘I would turn out of your old room
with pleasure, if it would be agreeable.’</p>
<p>‘No, no,’ said Mr. Wickfield. ‘Why should you be inconvenienced? There’s
another room. There’s another room.’ ‘Oh, but you know,’ returned Uriah,
with a grin, ‘I should really be delighted!’</p>
<p>To cut the matter short, I said I would have the other room or none at
all; so it was settled that I should have the other room; and, taking my
leave of the firm until dinner, I went upstairs again.</p>
<p>I had hoped to have no other companion than Agnes. But Mrs. Heep had asked
permission to bring herself and her knitting near the fire, in that room;
on pretence of its having an aspect more favourable for her rheumatics, as
the wind then was, than the drawing-room or dining-parlour. Though I could
almost have consigned her to the mercies of the wind on the topmost
pinnacle of the Cathedral, without remorse, I made a virtue of necessity,
and gave her a friendly salutation.</p>
<p>‘I’m umbly thankful to you, sir,’ said Mrs. Heep, in acknowledgement of my
inquiries concerning her health, ‘but I’m only pretty well. I haven’t much
to boast of. If I could see my Uriah well settled in life, I couldn’t
expect much more I think. How do you think my Ury looking, sir?’</p>
<p>I thought him looking as villainous as ever, and I replied that I saw no
change in him.</p>
<p>‘Oh, don’t you think he’s changed?’ said Mrs. Heep. ‘There I must umbly
beg leave to differ from you. Don’t you see a thinness in him?’</p>
<p>‘Not more than usual,’ I replied.</p>
<p>‘Don’t you though!’ said Mrs. Heep. ‘But you don’t take notice of him with
a mother’s eye!’</p>
<p>His mother’s eye was an evil eye to the rest of the world, I thought as it
met mine, howsoever affectionate to him; and I believe she and her son
were devoted to one another. It passed me, and went on to Agnes.</p>
<p>‘Don’t YOU see a wasting and a wearing in him, Miss Wickfield?’ inquired
Mrs. Heep.</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Agnes, quietly pursuing the work on which she was engaged. ‘You
are too solicitous about him. He is very well.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Heep, with a prodigious sniff, resumed her knitting.</p>
<p>She never left off, or left us for a moment. I had arrived early in the
day, and we had still three or four hours before dinner; but she sat
there, plying her knitting-needles as monotonously as an hour-glass might
have poured out its sands. She sat on one side of the fire; I sat at the
desk in front of it; a little beyond me, on the other side, sat Agnes.
Whensoever, slowly pondering over my letter, I lifted up my eyes, and
meeting the thoughtful face of Agnes, saw it clear, and beam encouragement
upon me, with its own angelic expression, I was conscious presently of the
evil eye passing me, and going on to her, and coming back to me again, and
dropping furtively upon the knitting. What the knitting was, I don’t know,
not being learned in that art; but it looked like a net; and as she worked
away with those Chinese chopsticks of knitting-needles, she showed in the
firelight like an ill-looking enchantress, baulked as yet by the radiant
goodness opposite, but getting ready for a cast of her net by and by.</p>
<p>At dinner she maintained her watch, with the same unwinking eyes. After
dinner, her son took his turn; and when Mr. Wickfield, himself, and I were
left alone together, leered at me, and writhed until I could hardly bear
it. In the drawing-room, there was the mother knitting and watching again.
All the time that Agnes sang and played, the mother sat at the piano. Once
she asked for a particular ballad, which she said her Ury (who was yawning
in a great chair) doted on; and at intervals she looked round at him, and
reported to Agnes that he was in raptures with the music. But she hardly
ever spoke—I question if she ever did—without making some
mention of him. It was evident to me that this was the duty assigned to
her.</p>
<p>This lasted until bedtime. To have seen the mother and son, like two great
bats hanging over the whole house, and darkening it with their ugly forms,
made me so uncomfortable, that I would rather have remained downstairs,
knitting and all, than gone to bed. I hardly got any sleep. Next day the
knitting and watching began again, and lasted all day.</p>
<p>I had not an opportunity of speaking to Agnes, for ten minutes. I could
barely show her my letter. I proposed to her to walk out with me; but Mrs.
Heep repeatedly complaining that she was worse, Agnes charitably remained
within, to bear her company. Towards the twilight I went out by myself,
musing on what I ought to do, and whether I was justified in withholding
from Agnes, any longer, what Uriah Heep had told me in London; for that
began to trouble me again, very much.</p>
<p>I had not walked out far enough to be quite clear of the town, upon the
Ramsgate road, where there was a good path, when I was hailed, through the
dust, by somebody behind me. The shambling figure, and the scanty
great-coat, were not to be mistaken. I stopped, and Uriah Heep came up.</p>
<p>‘Well?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘How fast you walk!’ said he. ‘My legs are pretty long, but you’ve given
‘em quite a job.’</p>
<p>‘Where are you going?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘I am going with you, Master Copperfield, if you’ll allow me the pleasure
of a walk with an old acquaintance.’ Saying this, with a jerk of his body,
which might have been either propitiatory or derisive, he fell into step
beside me.</p>
<p>‘Uriah!’ said I, as civilly as I could, after a silence.</p>
<p>‘Master Copperfield!’ said Uriah.</p>
<p>‘To tell you the truth (at which you will not be offended), I came Out to
walk alone, because I have had so much company.’</p>
<p>He looked at me sideways, and said with his hardest grin, ‘You mean
mother.’</p>
<p>‘Why yes, I do,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Ah! But you know we’re so very umble,’ he returned. ‘And having such a
knowledge of our own umbleness, we must really take care that we’re not
pushed to the wall by them as isn’t umble. All stratagems are fair in
love, sir.’</p>
<p>Raising his great hands until they touched his chin, he rubbed them
softly, and softly chuckled; looking as like a malevolent baboon, I
thought, as anything human could look.</p>
<p>‘You see,’ he said, still hugging himself in that unpleasant way, and
shaking his head at me, ‘you’re quite a dangerous rival, Master
Copperfield. You always was, you know.’</p>
<p>‘Do you set a watch upon Miss Wickfield, and make her home no home,
because of me?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Oh! Master Copperfield! Those are very arsh words,’ he replied.</p>
<p>‘Put my meaning into any words you like,’ said I. ‘You know what it is,
Uriah, as well as I do.’</p>
<p>‘Oh no! You must put it into words,’ he said. ‘Oh, really! I couldn’t
myself.’</p>
<p>‘Do you suppose,’ said I, constraining myself to be very temperate and
quiet with him, on account of Agnes, ‘that I regard Miss Wickfield
otherwise than as a very dear sister?’</p>
<p>‘Well, Master Copperfield,’ he replied, ‘you perceive I am not bound to
answer that question. You may not, you know. But then, you see, you may!’</p>
<p>Anything to equal the low cunning of his visage, and of his shadowless
eyes without the ghost of an eyelash, I never saw.</p>
<p>‘Come then!’ said I. ‘For the sake of Miss Wickfield—’</p>
<p>‘My Agnes!’ he exclaimed, with a sickly, angular contortion of himself.
‘Would you be so good as call her Agnes, Master Copperfield!’</p>
<p>‘For the sake of Agnes Wickfield—Heaven bless her!’</p>
<p>‘Thank you for that blessing, Master Copperfield!’ he interposed.</p>
<p>‘I will tell you what I should, under any other circumstances, as soon
have thought of telling to—Jack Ketch.’</p>
<p>‘To who, sir?’ said Uriah, stretching out his neck, and shading his ear
with his hand.</p>
<p>‘To the hangman,’ I returned. ‘The most unlikely person I could think of,’—though
his own face had suggested the allusion quite as a natural sequence. ‘I am
engaged to another young lady. I hope that contents you.’</p>
<p>‘Upon your soul?’ said Uriah.</p>
<p>I was about indignantly to give my assertion the confirmation he required,
when he caught hold of my hand, and gave it a squeeze.</p>
<p>‘Oh, Master Copperfield!’ he said. ‘If you had only had the condescension
to return my confidence when I poured out the fulness of my art, the night
I put you so much out of the way by sleeping before your sitting-room
fire, I never should have doubted you. As it is, I’m sure I’ll take off
mother directly, and only too appy. I know you’ll excuse the precautions
of affection, won’t you? What a pity, Master Copperfield, that you didn’t
condescend to return my confidence! I’m sure I gave you every opportunity.
But you never have condescended to me, as much as I could have wished. I
know you have never liked me, as I have liked you!’</p>
<p>All this time he was squeezing my hand with his damp fishy fingers, while
I made every effort I decently could to get it away. But I was quite
unsuccessful. He drew it under the sleeve of his mulberry-coloured
great-coat, and I walked on, almost upon compulsion, arm-in-arm with him.</p>
<p>‘Shall we turn?’ said Uriah, by and by wheeling me face about towards the
town, on which the early moon was now shining, silvering the distant
windows.</p>
<p>‘Before we leave the subject, you ought to understand,’ said I, breaking a
pretty long silence, ‘that I believe Agnes Wickfield to be as far above
you, and as far removed from all your aspirations, as that moon herself!’</p>
<p>‘Peaceful! Ain’t she!’ said Uriah. ‘Very! Now confess, Master Copperfield,
that you haven’t liked me quite as I have liked you. All along you’ve
thought me too umble now, I shouldn’t wonder?’</p>
<p>‘I am not fond of professions of humility,’ I returned, ‘or professions of
anything else.’ ‘There now!’ said Uriah, looking flabby and lead-coloured
in the moonlight. ‘Didn’t I know it! But how little you think of the
rightful umbleness of a person in my station, Master Copperfield! Father
and me was both brought up at a foundation school for boys; and mother,
she was likewise brought up at a public, sort of charitable,
establishment. They taught us all a deal of umbleness—not much else
that I know of, from morning to night. We was to be umble to this person,
and umble to that; and to pull off our caps here, and to make bows there;
and always to know our place, and abase ourselves before our betters. And
we had such a lot of betters! Father got the monitor-medal by being umble.
So did I. Father got made a sexton by being umble. He had the character,
among the gentlefolks, of being such a well-behaved man, that they were
determined to bring him in. “Be umble, Uriah,” says father to me, “and
you’ll get on. It was what was always being dinned into you and me at
school; it’s what goes down best. Be umble,” says father, “and you’ll do!”
And really it ain’t done bad!’</p>
<p>It was the first time it had ever occurred to me, that this detestable
cant of false humility might have originated out of the Heep family. I had
seen the harvest, but had never thought of the seed.</p>
<p>‘When I was quite a young boy,’ said Uriah, ‘I got to know what umbleness
did, and I took to it. I ate umble pie with an appetite. I stopped at the
umble point of my learning, and says I, “Hold hard!” When you offered to
teach me Latin, I knew better. “People like to be above you,” says father,
“keep yourself down.” I am very umble to the present moment, Master
Copperfield, but I’ve got a little power!’</p>
<p>And he said all this—I knew, as I saw his face in the moonlight—that
I might understand he was resolved to recompense himself by using his
power. I had never doubted his meanness, his craft and malice; but I fully
comprehended now, for the first time, what a base, unrelenting, and
revengeful spirit, must have been engendered by this early, and this long,
suppression.</p>
<p>His account of himself was so far attended with an agreeable result, that
it led to his withdrawing his hand in order that he might have another hug
of himself under the chin. Once apart from him, I was determined to keep
apart; and we walked back, side by side, saying very little more by the
way. Whether his spirits were elevated by the communication I had made to
him, or by his having indulged in this retrospect, I don’t know; but they
were raised by some influence. He talked more at dinner than was usual
with him; asked his mother (off duty, from the moment of our re-entering
the house) whether he was not growing too old for a bachelor; and once
looked at Agnes so, that I would have given all I had, for leave to knock
him down.</p>
<p>When we three males were left alone after dinner, he got into a more
adventurous state. He had taken little or no wine; and I presume it was
the mere insolence of triumph that was upon him, flushed perhaps by the
temptation my presence furnished to its exhibition.</p>
<p>I had observed yesterday, that he tried to entice Mr. Wickfield to drink;
and, interpreting the look which Agnes had given me as she went out, had
limited myself to one glass, and then proposed that we should follow her.
I would have done so again today; but Uriah was too quick for me.</p>
<p>‘We seldom see our present visitor, sir,’ he said, addressing Mr.
Wickfield, sitting, such a contrast to him, at the end of the table, ‘and
I should propose to give him welcome in another glass or two of wine, if
you have no objections. Mr. Copperfield, your elth and appiness!’</p>
<p>I was obliged to make a show of taking the hand he stretched across to me;
and then, with very different emotions, I took the hand of the broken
gentleman, his partner.</p>
<p>‘Come, fellow-partner,’ said Uriah, ‘if I may take the liberty,—now,
suppose you give us something or another appropriate to Copperfield!’</p>
<p>I pass over Mr. Wickfield’s proposing my aunt, his proposing Mr. Dick, his
proposing Doctors’ Commons, his proposing Uriah, his drinking everything
twice; his consciousness of his own weakness, the ineffectual effort that
he made against it; the struggle between his shame in Uriah’s deportment,
and his desire to conciliate him; the manifest exultation with which Uriah
twisted and turned, and held him up before me. It made me sick at heart to
see, and my hand recoils from writing it.</p>
<p>‘Come, fellow-partner!’ said Uriah, at last, ‘I’ll give you another one,
and I umbly ask for bumpers, seeing I intend to make it the divinest of
her sex.’</p>
<p>Her father had his empty glass in his hand. I saw him set it down, look at
the picture she was so like, put his hand to his forehead, and shrink back
in his elbow-chair.</p>
<p>‘I’m an umble individual to give you her elth,’ proceeded Uriah, ‘but I
admire—adore her.’</p>
<p>No physical pain that her father’s grey head could have borne, I think,
could have been more terrible to me, than the mental endurance I saw
compressed now within both his hands.</p>
<p>‘Agnes,’ said Uriah, either not regarding him, or not knowing what the
nature of his action was, ‘Agnes Wickfield is, I am safe to say, the
divinest of her sex. May I speak out, among friends? To be her father is a
proud distinction, but to be her usband—’</p>
<p>Spare me from ever again hearing such a cry, as that with which her father
rose up from the table! ‘What’s the matter?’ said Uriah, turning of a
deadly colour. ‘You are not gone mad, after all, Mr. Wickfield, I hope? If
I say I’ve an ambition to make your Agnes my Agnes, I have as good a right
to it as another man. I have a better right to it than any other man!’</p>
<p>I had my arms round Mr. Wickfield, imploring him by everything that I
could think of, oftenest of all by his love for Agnes, to calm himself a
little. He was mad for the moment; tearing out his hair, beating his head,
trying to force me from him, and to force himself from me, not answering a
word, not looking at or seeing anyone; blindly striving for he knew not
what, his face all staring and distorted—a frightful spectacle.</p>
<p>I conjured him, incoherently, but in the most impassioned manner, not to
abandon himself to this wildness, but to hear me. I besought him to think
of Agnes, to connect me with Agnes, to recollect how Agnes and I had grown
up together, how I honoured her and loved her, how she was his pride and
joy. I tried to bring her idea before him in any form; I even reproached
him with not having firmness to spare her the knowledge of such a scene as
this. I may have effected something, or his wildness may have spent
itself; but by degrees he struggled less, and began to look at me—strangely
at first, then with recognition in his eyes. At length he said, ‘I know,
Trotwood! My darling child and you—I know! But look at him!’</p>
<p>He pointed to Uriah, pale and glowering in a corner, evidently very much
out in his calculations, and taken by surprise.</p>
<p>‘Look at my torturer,’ he replied. ‘Before him I have step by step
abandoned name and reputation, peace and quiet, house and home.’</p>
<p>‘I have kept your name and reputation for you, and your peace and quiet,
and your house and home too,’ said Uriah, with a sulky, hurried, defeated
air of compromise. ‘Don’t be foolish, Mr. Wickfield. If I have gone a
little beyond what you were prepared for, I can go back, I suppose?
There’s no harm done.’</p>
<p>‘I looked for single motives in everyone,’ said Mr. Wickfield, ‘and I was
satisfied I had bound him to me by motives of interest. But see what he is—oh,
see what he is!’</p>
<p>‘You had better stop him, Copperfield, if you can,’ cried Uriah, with his
long forefinger pointing towards me. ‘He’ll say something presently—mind
you!—he’ll be sorry to have said afterwards, and you’ll be sorry to
have heard!’</p>
<p>‘I’ll say anything!’ cried Mr. Wickfield, with a desperate air. ‘Why
should I not be in all the world’s power if I am in yours?’</p>
<p>‘Mind! I tell you!’ said Uriah, continuing to warn me. ‘If you don’t stop
his mouth, you’re not his friend! Why shouldn’t you be in all the world’s
power, Mr. Wickfield? Because you have got a daughter. You and me know
what we know, don’t we? Let sleeping dogs lie—who wants to rouse
‘em? I don’t. Can’t you see I am as umble as I can be? I tell you, if I’ve
gone too far, I’m sorry. What would you have, sir?’</p>
<p>‘Oh, Trotwood, Trotwood!’ exclaimed Mr. Wickfield, wringing his hands.
‘What I have come down to be, since I first saw you in this house! I was
on my downward way then, but the dreary, dreary road I have traversed
since! Weak indulgence has ruined me. Indulgence in remembrance, and
indulgence in forgetfulness. My natural grief for my child’s mother turned
to disease; my natural love for my child turned to disease. I have
infected everything I touched. I have brought misery on what I dearly
love, I know—you know! I thought it possible that I could truly love
one creature in the world, and not love the rest; I thought it possible
that I could truly mourn for one creature gone out of the world, and not
have some part in the grief of all who mourned. Thus the lessons of my
life have been perverted! I have preyed on my own morbid coward heart, and
it has preyed on me. Sordid in my grief, sordid in my love, sordid in my
miserable escape from the darker side of both, oh see the ruin I am, and
hate me, shun me!’</p>
<p>He dropped into a chair, and weakly sobbed. The excitement into which he
had been roused was leaving him. Uriah came out of his corner.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know all I have done, in my fatuity,’ said Mr. Wickfield, putting
out his hands, as if to deprecate my condemnation. ‘He knows best,’
meaning Uriah Heep, ‘for he has always been at my elbow, whispering me.
You see the millstone that he is about my neck. You find him in my house,
you find him in my business. You heard him, but a little time ago. What
need have I to say more!’</p>
<p>‘You haven’t need to say so much, nor half so much, nor anything at all,’
observed Uriah, half defiant, and half fawning. ‘You wouldn’t have took it
up so, if it hadn’t been for the wine. You’ll think better of it tomorrow,
sir. If I have said too much, or more than I meant, what of it? I haven’t
stood by it!’</p>
<p>The door opened, and Agnes, gliding in, without a vestige of colour in her
face, put her arm round his neck, and steadily said, ‘Papa, you are not
well. Come with me!’</p>
<p>He laid his head upon her shoulder, as if he were oppressed with heavy
shame, and went out with her. Her eyes met mine for but an instant, yet I
saw how much she knew of what had passed.</p>
<p>‘I didn’t expect he’d cut up so rough, Master Copperfield,’ said Uriah.
‘But it’s nothing. I’ll be friends with him tomorrow. It’s for his good.
I’m umbly anxious for his good.’</p>
<p>I gave him no answer, and went upstairs into the quiet room where Agnes
had so often sat beside me at my books. Nobody came near me until late at
night. I took up a book, and tried to read. I heard the clocks strike
twelve, and was still reading, without knowing what I read, when Agnes
touched me.</p>
<p>‘You will be going early in the morning, Trotwood! Let us say good-bye,
now!’</p>
<p>She had been weeping, but her face then was so calm and beautiful!</p>
<p>‘Heaven bless you!’ she said, giving me her hand.</p>
<p>‘Dearest Agnes!’ I returned, ‘I see you ask me not to speak of tonight—but
is there nothing to be done?’</p>
<p>‘There is God to trust in!’ she replied.</p>
<p>‘Can I do nothing—I, who come to you with my poor sorrows?’</p>
<p>‘And make mine so much lighter,’ she replied. ‘Dear Trotwood, no!’</p>
<p>‘Dear Agnes,’ I said, ‘it is presumptuous for me, who am so poor in all in
which you are so rich—goodness, resolution, all noble qualities—to
doubt or direct you; but you know how much I love you, and how much I owe
you. You will never sacrifice yourself to a mistaken sense of duty,
Agnes?’</p>
<p>More agitated for a moment than I had ever seen her, she took her hands
from me, and moved a step back.</p>
<p>‘Say you have no such thought, dear Agnes! Much more than sister! Think of
the priceless gift of such a heart as yours, of such a love as yours!’</p>
<p>Oh! long, long afterwards, I saw that face rise up before me, with its
momentary look, not wondering, not accusing, not regretting. Oh, long,
long afterwards, I saw that look subside, as it did now, into the lovely
smile, with which she told me she had no fear for herself—I need
have none for her—and parted from me by the name of Brother, and was
gone!</p>
<p>It was dark in the morning, when I got upon the coach at the inn door. The
day was just breaking when we were about to start, and then, as I sat
thinking of her, came struggling up the coach side, through the mingled
day and night, Uriah’s head.</p>
<p>‘Copperfield!’ said he, in a croaking whisper, as he hung by the iron on
the roof, ‘I thought you’d be glad to hear before you went off, that there
are no squares broke between us. I’ve been into his room already, and
we’ve made it all smooth. Why, though I’m umble, I’m useful to him, you
know; and he understands his interest when he isn’t in liquor! What an
agreeable man he is, after all, Master Copperfield!’</p>
<p>I obliged myself to say that I was glad he had made his apology.</p>
<p>‘Oh, to be sure!’ said Uriah. ‘When a person’s umble, you know, what’s an
apology? So easy! I say! I suppose,’ with a jerk, ‘you have sometimes
plucked a pear before it was ripe, Master Copperfield?’</p>
<p>‘I suppose I have,’ I replied.</p>
<p>‘I did that last night,’ said Uriah; ‘but it’ll ripen yet! It only wants
attending to. I can wait!’</p>
<p>Profuse in his farewells, he got down again as the coachman got up. For
anything I know, he was eating something to keep the raw morning air out;
but he made motions with his mouth as if the pear were ripe already, and
he were smacking his lips over it.</p>
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