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<h2> CHAPTER 59. RETURN </h2>
<p>I landed in London on a wintry autumn evening. It was dark and raining,
and I saw more fog and mud in a minute than I had seen in a year. I walked
from the Custom House to the Monument before I found a coach; and although
the very house-fronts, looking on the swollen gutters, were like old
friends to me, I could not but admit that they were very dingy friends.</p>
<p>I have often remarked—I suppose everybody has—that one’s going
away from a familiar place, would seem to be the signal for change in it.
As I looked out of the coach window, and observed that an old house on
Fish-street Hill, which had stood untouched by painter, carpenter, or
bricklayer, for a century, had been pulled down in my absence; and that a
neighbouring street, of time-honoured insalubrity and inconvenience, was
being drained and widened; I half expected to find St. Paul’s Cathedral
looking older.</p>
<p>For some changes in the fortunes of my friends, I was prepared. My aunt
had long been re-established at Dover, and Traddles had begun to get into
some little practice at the Bar, in the very first term after my
departure. He had chambers in Gray’s Inn, now; and had told me, in his
last letters, that he was not without hopes of being soon united to the
dearest girl in the world.</p>
<p>They expected me home before Christmas; but had no idea of my returning so
soon. I had purposely misled them, that I might have the pleasure of
taking them by surprise. And yet, I was perverse enough to feel a chill
and disappointment in receiving no welcome, and rattling, alone and
silent, through the misty streets.</p>
<p>The well-known shops, however, with their cheerful lights, did something
for me; and when I alighted at the door of the Gray’s Inn Coffee-house, I
had recovered my spirits. It recalled, at first, that so-different time
when I had put up at the Golden Cross, and reminded me of the changes that
had come to pass since then; but that was natural.</p>
<p>‘Do you know where Mr. Traddles lives in the Inn?’ I asked the waiter, as
I warmed myself by the coffee-room fire.</p>
<p>‘Holborn Court, sir. Number two.’</p>
<p>‘Mr. Traddles has a rising reputation among the lawyers, I believe?’ said
I.</p>
<p>‘Well, sir,’ returned the waiter, ‘probably he has, sir; but I am not
aware of it myself.’</p>
<p>This waiter, who was middle-aged and spare, looked for help to a waiter of
more authority—a stout, potential old man, with a double chin, in
black breeches and stockings, who came out of a place like a
churchwarden’s pew, at the end of the coffee-room, where he kept company
with a cash-box, a Directory, a Law-list, and other books and papers.</p>
<p>‘Mr. Traddles,’ said the spare waiter. ‘Number two in the Court.’</p>
<p>The potential waiter waved him away, and turned, gravely, to me.</p>
<p>‘I was inquiring,’ said I, ‘whether Mr. Traddles, at number two in the
Court, has not a rising reputation among the lawyers?’</p>
<p>‘Never heard his name,’ said the waiter, in a rich husky voice.</p>
<p>I felt quite apologetic for Traddles.</p>
<p>‘He’s a young man, sure?’ said the portentous waiter, fixing his eyes
severely on me. ‘How long has he been in the Inn?’</p>
<p>‘Not above three years,’ said I.</p>
<p>The waiter, who I supposed had lived in his churchwarden’s pew for forty
years, could not pursue such an insignificant subject. He asked me what I
would have for dinner?</p>
<p>I felt I was in England again, and really was quite cast down on
Traddles’s account. There seemed to be no hope for him. I meekly ordered a
bit of fish and a steak, and stood before the fire musing on his
obscurity.</p>
<p>As I followed the chief waiter with my eyes, I could not help thinking
that the garden in which he had gradually blown to be the flower he was,
was an arduous place to rise in. It had such a prescriptive, stiff-necked,
long-established, solemn, elderly air. I glanced about the room, which had
had its sanded floor sanded, no doubt, in exactly the same manner when the
chief waiter was a boy—if he ever was a boy, which appeared
improbable; and at the shining tables, where I saw myself reflected, in
unruffled depths of old mahogany; and at the lamps, without a flaw in
their trimming or cleaning; and at the comfortable green curtains, with
their pure brass rods, snugly enclosing the boxes; and at the two large
coal fires, brightly burning; and at the rows of decanters, burly as if
with the consciousness of pipes of expensive old port wine below; and both
England, and the law, appeared to me to be very difficult indeed to be
taken by storm. I went up to my bedroom to change my wet clothes; and the
vast extent of that old wainscoted apartment (which was over the archway
leading to the Inn, I remember), and the sedate immensity of the four-post
bedstead, and the indomitable gravity of the chests of drawers, all seemed
to unite in sternly frowning on the fortunes of Traddles, or on any such
daring youth. I came down again to my dinner; and even the slow comfort of
the meal, and the orderly silence of the place—which was bare of
guests, the Long Vacation not yet being over—were eloquent on the
audacity of Traddles, and his small hopes of a livelihood for twenty years
to come.</p>
<p>I had seen nothing like this since I went away, and it quite dashed my
hopes for my friend. The chief waiter had had enough of me. He came near
me no more; but devoted himself to an old gentleman in long gaiters, to
meet whom a pint of special port seemed to come out of the cellar of its
own accord, for he gave no order. The second waiter informed me, in a
whisper, that this old gentleman was a retired conveyancer living in the
Square, and worth a mint of money, which it was expected he would leave to
his laundress’s daughter; likewise that it was rumoured that he had a
service of plate in a bureau, all tarnished with lying by, though more
than one spoon and a fork had never yet been beheld in his chambers by
mortal vision. By this time, I quite gave Traddles up for lost; and
settled in my own mind that there was no hope for him.</p>
<p>Being very anxious to see the dear old fellow, nevertheless, I dispatched
my dinner, in a manner not at all calculated to raise me in the opinion of
the chief waiter, and hurried out by the back way. Number two in the Court
was soon reached; and an inscription on the door-post informing me that
Mr. Traddles occupied a set of chambers on the top storey, I ascended the
staircase. A crazy old staircase I found it to be, feebly lighted on each
landing by a club-headed little oil wick, dying away in a little
dungeon of dirty glass.</p>
<p>In the course of my stumbling upstairs, I fancied I heard a pleasant sound
of laughter; and not the laughter of an attorney or barrister, or
attorney’s clerk or barrister’s clerk, but of two or three merry girls.
Happening, however, as I stopped to listen, to put my foot in a hole where
the Honourable Society of Gray’s Inn had left a plank deficient, I fell
down with some noise, and when I recovered my footing all was silent.</p>
<p>Groping my way more carefully, for the rest of the journey, my heart beat
high when I found the outer door, which had Mr. TRADDLES painted on it,
open. I knocked. A considerable scuffling within ensued, but nothing else.
I therefore knocked again.</p>
<p>A small sharp-looking lad, half-footboy and half-clerk, who was very much
out of breath, but who looked at me as if he defied me to prove it
legally, presented himself.</p>
<p>‘Is Mr. Traddles within?’ I said.</p>
<p>‘Yes, sir, but he’s engaged.’</p>
<p>‘I want to see him.’</p>
<p>After a moment’s survey of me, the sharp-looking lad decided to let me in;
and opening the door wider for that purpose, admitted me, first, into a
little closet of a hall, and next into a little sitting-room; where I came
into the presence of my old friend (also out of breath), seated at a
table, and bending over papers.</p>
<p>‘Good God!’ cried Traddles, looking up. ‘It’s Copperfield!’ and rushed
into my arms, where I held him tight.</p>
<p>‘All well, my dear Traddles?’</p>
<p>‘All well, my dear, dear Copperfield, and nothing but good news!’</p>
<p>We cried with pleasure, both of us.</p>
<p>‘My dear fellow,’ said Traddles, rumpling his hair in his excitement,
which was a most unnecessary operation, ‘my dearest Copperfield, my
long-lost and most welcome friend, how glad I am to see you! How brown you
are! How glad I am! Upon my life and honour, I never was so rejoiced, my
beloved Copperfield, never!’</p>
<p>I was equally at a loss to express my emotions. I was quite unable to
speak, at first.</p>
<p>‘My dear fellow!’ said Traddles. ‘And grown so famous! My glorious
Copperfield! Good gracious me, WHEN did you come, WHERE have you come
from, WHAT have you been doing?’</p>
<p>Never pausing for an answer to anything he said, Traddles, who had clapped
me into an easy-chair by the fire, all this time impetuously stirred the
fire with one hand, and pulled at my neck-kerchief with the other, under
some wild delusion that it was a great-coat. Without putting down the
poker, he now hugged me again; and I hugged him; and, both laughing, and
both wiping our eyes, we both sat down, and shook hands across the hearth.</p>
<p>‘To think,’ said Traddles, ‘that you should have been so nearly coming
home as you must have been, my dear old boy, and not at the ceremony!’</p>
<p>‘What ceremony, my dear Traddles?’</p>
<p>‘Good gracious me!’ cried Traddles, opening his eyes in his old way.
‘Didn’t you get my last letter?’</p>
<p>‘Certainly not, if it referred to any ceremony.’</p>
<p>‘Why, my dear Copperfield,’ said Traddles, sticking his hair upright with
both hands, and then putting his hands on my knees, ‘I am married!’</p>
<p>‘Married!’ I cried joyfully.</p>
<p>‘Lord bless me, yes!’ said Traddles—‘by the Reverend Horace—to
Sophy—down in Devonshire. Why, my dear boy, she’s behind the window
curtain! Look here!’</p>
<p>To my amazement, the dearest girl in the world came at that same instant,
laughing and blushing, from her place of concealment. And a more cheerful,
amiable, honest, happy, bright-looking bride, I believe (as I could not
help saying on the spot) the world never saw. I kissed her as an old
acquaintance should, and wished them joy with all my might of heart.</p>
<p>‘Dear me,’ said Traddles, ‘what a delightful re-union this is! You are so
extremely brown, my dear Copperfield! God bless my soul, how happy I am!’</p>
<p>‘And so am I,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘And I am sure I am!’ said the blushing and laughing Sophy.</p>
<p>‘We are all as happy as possible!’ said Traddles. ‘Even the girls are
happy. Dear me, I declare I forgot them!’</p>
<p>‘Forgot?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘The girls,’ said Traddles. ‘Sophy’s sisters. They are staying with us.
They have come to have a peep at London. The fact is, when—was it
you that tumbled upstairs, Copperfield?’</p>
<p>‘It was,’ said I, laughing.</p>
<p>‘Well then, when you tumbled upstairs,’ said Traddles, ‘I was romping with
the girls. In point of fact, we were playing at Puss in the Corner. But as
that wouldn’t do in Westminster Hall, and as it wouldn’t look quite
professional if they were seen by a client, they decamped. And they are
now—listening, I have no doubt,’ said Traddles, glancing at the door
of another room.</p>
<p>‘I am sorry,’ said I, laughing afresh, ‘to have occasioned such a
dispersion.’</p>
<p>‘Upon my word,’ rejoined Traddles, greatly delighted, ‘if you had seen
them running away, and running back again, after you had knocked, to pick
up the combs they had dropped out of their hair, and going on in the
maddest manner, you wouldn’t have said so. My love, will you fetch the
girls?’</p>
<p>Sophy tripped away, and we heard her received in the adjoining room with a
peal of laughter.</p>
<p>‘Really musical, isn’t it, my dear Copperfield?’ said Traddles. ‘It’s very
agreeable to hear. It quite lights up these old rooms. To an unfortunate
bachelor of a fellow who has lived alone all his life, you know, it’s
positively delicious. It’s charming. Poor things, they have had a great
loss in Sophy—who, I do assure you, Copperfield is, and ever was,
the dearest girl!—and it gratifies me beyond expression to find them
in such good spirits. The society of girls is a very delightful thing,
Copperfield. It’s not professional, but it’s very delightful.’</p>
<p>Observing that he slightly faltered, and comprehending that in the
goodness of his heart he was fearful of giving me some pain by what he had
said, I expressed my concurrence with a heartiness that evidently relieved
and pleased him greatly.</p>
<p>‘But then,’ said Traddles, ‘our domestic arrangements are, to say the
truth, quite unprofessional altogether, my dear Copperfield. Even Sophy’s
being here, is unprofessional. And we have no other place of abode. We
have put to sea in a cockboat, but we are quite prepared to rough it. And
Sophy’s an extraordinary manager! You’ll be surprised how those girls are
stowed away. I am sure I hardly know how it’s done!’</p>
<p>‘Are many of the young ladies with you?’ I inquired.</p>
<p>‘The eldest, the Beauty is here,’ said Traddles, in a low confidential
voice, ‘Caroline. And Sarah’s here—the one I mentioned to you as
having something the matter with her spine, you know. Immensely better!
And the two youngest that Sophy educated are with us. And Louisa’s here.’</p>
<p>‘Indeed!’ cried I.</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ said Traddles. ‘Now the whole set—I mean the chambers—is
only three rooms; but Sophy arranges for the girls in the most wonderful
way, and they sleep as comfortably as possible. Three in that room,’ said
Traddles, pointing. ‘Two in that.’</p>
<p>I could not help glancing round, in search of the accommodation remaining
for Mr. and Mrs. Traddles. Traddles understood me.</p>
<p>‘Well!’ said Traddles, ‘we are prepared to rough it, as I said just now,
and we did improvise a bed last week, upon the floor here. But there’s a
little room in the roof—a very nice room, when you’re up there—which
Sophy papered herself, to surprise me; and that’s our room at present.
It’s a capital little gipsy sort of place. There’s quite a view from it.’</p>
<p>‘And you are happily married at last, my dear Traddles!’ said I. ‘How
rejoiced I am!’</p>
<p>‘Thank you, my dear Copperfield,’ said Traddles, as we shook hands once
more. ‘Yes, I am as happy as it’s possible to be. There’s your old friend,
you see,’ said Traddles, nodding triumphantly at the flower-pot and stand;
‘and there’s the table with the marble top! All the other furniture is
plain and serviceable, you perceive. And as to plate, Lord bless you, we
haven’t so much as a tea-spoon.’</p>
<p>‘All to be earned?’ said I, cheerfully.</p>
<p>‘Exactly so,’ replied Traddles, ‘all to be earned. Of course we have
something in the shape of tea-spoons, because we stir our tea. But they’re
Britannia metal.’</p>
<p>‘The silver will be the brighter when it comes,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘The very thing we say!’ cried Traddles. ‘You see, my dear Copperfield,’
falling again into the low confidential tone, ‘after I had delivered my
argument in DOE dem. JIPES versus WIGZIELL, which did me great service
with the profession, I went down into Devonshire, and had some serious
conversation in private with the Reverend Horace. I dwelt upon the fact
that Sophy—who I do assure you, Copperfield, is the dearest girl!—’</p>
<p>‘I am certain she is!’ said I.</p>
<p>‘She is, indeed!’ rejoined Traddles. ‘But I am afraid I am wandering from
the subject. Did I mention the Reverend Horace?’</p>
<p>‘You said that you dwelt upon the fact—’</p>
<p>‘True! Upon the fact that Sophy and I had been engaged for a long period,
and that Sophy, with the permission of her parents, was more than content
to take me—in short,’ said Traddles, with his old frank smile, ‘on
our present Britannia-metal footing. Very well. I then proposed to the
Reverend Horace—who is a most excellent clergyman, Copperfield, and
ought to be a Bishop; or at least ought to have enough to live upon,
without pinching himself—that if I could turn the corner, say of two
hundred and fifty pounds, in one year; and could see my way pretty clearly
to that, or something better, next year; and could plainly furnish a
little place like this, besides; then, and in that case, Sophy and I
should be united. I took the liberty of representing that we had been
patient for a good many years; and that the circumstance of Sophy’s being
extraordinarily useful at home, ought not to operate with her affectionate
parents, against her establishment in life—don’t you see?’</p>
<p>‘Certainly it ought not,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘I am glad you think so, Copperfield,’ rejoined Traddles, ‘because,
without any imputation on the Reverend Horace, I do think parents, and
brothers, and so forth, are sometimes rather selfish in such cases. Well!
I also pointed out, that my most earnest desire was, to be useful to the
family; and that if I got on in the world, and anything should happen to
him—I refer to the Reverend Horace—’</p>
<p>‘I understand,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘—Or to Mrs. Crewler—it would be the utmost gratification of
my wishes, to be a parent to the girls. He replied in a most admirable
manner, exceedingly flattering to my feelings, and undertook to obtain the
consent of Mrs. Crewler to this arrangement. They had a dreadful time of
it with her. It mounted from her legs into her chest, and then into her
head—’</p>
<p>‘What mounted?’ I asked.</p>
<p>‘Her grief,’ replied Traddles, with a serious look. ‘Her feelings
generally. As I mentioned on a former occasion, she is a very superior
woman, but has lost the use of her limbs. Whatever occurs to harass her,
usually settles in her legs; but on this occasion it mounted to the chest,
and then to the head, and, in short, pervaded the whole system in a most
alarming manner. However, they brought her through it by unremitting and
affectionate attention; and we were married yesterday six weeks. You have
no idea what a Monster I felt, Copperfield, when I saw the whole family
crying and fainting away in every direction! Mrs. Crewler couldn’t see me
before we left—couldn’t forgive me, then, for depriving her of her
child—but she is a good creature, and has done so since. I had a
delightful letter from her, only this morning.’</p>
<p>‘And in short, my dear friend,’ said I, ‘you feel as blest as you deserve
to feel!’</p>
<p>‘Oh! That’s your partiality!’ laughed Traddles. ‘But, indeed, I am in a
most enviable state. I work hard, and read Law insatiably. I get up at
five every morning, and don’t mind it at all. I hide the girls in the
daytime, and make merry with them in the evening. And I assure you I am
quite sorry that they are going home on Tuesday, which is the day before
the first day of Michaelmas Term. But here,’ said Traddles, breaking off
in his confidence, and speaking aloud, ‘ARE the girls! Mr. Copperfield,
Miss Crewler—Miss Sarah—Miss Louisa—Margaret and Lucy!’</p>
<p>They were a perfect nest of roses; they looked so wholesome and fresh.
They were all pretty, and Miss Caroline was very handsome; but there was a
loving, cheerful, fireside quality in Sophy’s bright looks, which was
better than that, and which assured me that my friend had chosen well. We
all sat round the fire; while the sharp boy, who I now divined had lost
his breath in putting the papers out, cleared them away again, and
produced the tea-things. After that, he retired for the night, shutting
the outer door upon us with a bang. Mrs. Traddles, with perfect pleasure
and composure beaming from her household eyes, having made the tea, then
quietly made the toast as she sat in a corner by the fire.</p>
<p>She had seen Agnes, she told me while she was toasting. ‘Tom’ had taken
her down into Kent for a wedding trip, and there she had seen my aunt,
too; and both my aunt and Agnes were well, and they had all talked of
nothing but me. ‘Tom’ had never had me out of his thoughts, she really
believed, all the time I had been away. ‘Tom’ was the authority for
everything. ‘Tom’ was evidently the idol of her life; never to be shaken
on his pedestal by any commotion; always to be believed in, and done
homage to with the whole faith of her heart, come what might.</p>
<p>The deference which both she and Traddles showed towards the Beauty,
pleased me very much. I don’t know that I thought it very reasonable; but
I thought it very delightful, and essentially a part of their character.
If Traddles ever for an instant missed the tea-spoons that were still to
be won, I have no doubt it was when he handed the Beauty her tea. If his
sweet-tempered wife could have got up any self-assertion against anyone, I
am satisfied it could only have been because she was the Beauty’s sister.
A few slight indications of a rather petted and capricious manner, which I
observed in the Beauty, were manifestly considered, by Traddles and his
wife, as her birthright and natural endowment. If she had been born a
Queen Bee, and they labouring Bees, they could not have been more
satisfied of that.</p>
<p>But their self-forgetfulness charmed me. Their pride in these girls, and
their submission of themselves to all their whims, was the pleasantest
little testimony to their own worth I could have desired to see. If
Traddles were addressed as ‘a darling’, once in the course of that
evening; and besought to bring something here, or carry something there,
or take something up, or put something down, or find something, or fetch
something, he was so addressed, by one or other of his sisters-in-law, at
least twelve times in an hour. Neither could they do anything without
Sophy. Somebody’s hair fell down, and nobody but Sophy could put it up.
Somebody forgot how a particular tune went, and nobody but Sophy could hum
that tune right. Somebody wanted to recall the name of a place in
Devonshire, and only Sophy knew it. Something was wanted to be written
home, and Sophy alone could be trusted to write before breakfast in the
morning. Somebody broke down in a piece of knitting, and no one but Sophy
was able to put the defaulter in the right direction. They were entire
mistresses of the place, and Sophy and Traddles waited on them. How many
children Sophy could have taken care of in her time, I can’t imagine; but
she seemed to be famous for knowing every sort of song that ever was
addressed to a child in the English tongue; and she sang dozens to order
with the clearest little voice in the world, one after another (every
sister issuing directions for a different tune, and the Beauty generally
striking in last), so that I was quite fascinated. The best of all was,
that, in the midst of their exactions, all the sisters had a great
tenderness and respect both for Sophy and Traddles. I am sure, when I took
my leave, and Traddles was coming out to walk with me to the coffee-house,
I thought I had never seen an obstinate head of hair, or any other head of
hair, rolling about in such a shower of kisses.</p>
<p>Altogether, it was a scene I could not help dwelling on with pleasure, for
a long time after I got back and had wished Traddles good night. If I had
beheld a thousand roses blowing in a top set of chambers, in that withered
Gray’s Inn, they could not have brightened it half so much. The idea of
those Devonshire girls, among the dry law-stationers and the attorneys’
offices; and of the tea and toast, and children’s songs, in that grim
atmosphere of pounce and parchment, red-tape, dusty wafers, ink-jars,
brief and draft paper, law reports, writs, declarations, and bills of
costs; seemed almost as pleasantly fanciful as if I had dreamed that the
Sultan’s famous family had been admitted on the roll of attorneys, and had
brought the talking bird, the singing tree, and the golden water into
Gray’s Inn Hall. Somehow, I found that I had taken leave of Traddles for
the night, and come back to the coffee-house, with a great change in my
despondency about him. I began to think he would get on, in spite of all
the many orders of chief waiters in England.</p>
<p>Drawing a chair before one of the coffee-room fires to think about him at
my leisure, I gradually fell from the consideration of his happiness to
tracing prospects in the live-coals, and to thinking, as they broke and
changed, of the principal vicissitudes and separations that had marked my
life. I had not seen a coal fire, since I had left England three years
ago: though many a wood fire had I watched, as it crumbled into hoary
ashes, and mingled with the feathery heap upon the hearth, which not
inaptly figured to me, in my despondency, my own dead hopes.</p>
<p>I could think of the past now, gravely, but not bitterly; and could
contemplate the future in a brave spirit. Home, in its best sense, was for
me no more. She in whom I might have inspired a dearer love, I had taught
to be my sister. She would marry, and would have new claimants on her
tenderness; and in doing it, would never know the love for her that had
grown up in my heart. It was right that I should pay the forfeit of my
headlong passion. What I reaped, I had sown.</p>
<p>I was thinking. And had I truly disciplined my heart to this, and could I
resolutely bear it, and calmly hold the place in her home which she had
calmly held in mine,—when I found my eyes resting on a countenance
that might have arisen out of the fire, in its association with my early
remembrances.</p>
<p>Little Mr. Chillip the Doctor, to whose good offices I was indebted in the
very first chapter of this history, sat reading a newspaper in the shadow
of an opposite corner. He was tolerably stricken in years by this time;
but, being a mild, meek, calm little man, had worn so easily, that I
thought he looked at that moment just as he might have looked when he sat
in our parlour, waiting for me to be born.</p>
<p>Mr. Chillip had left Blunderstone six or seven years ago, and I had never
seen him since. He sat placidly perusing the newspaper, with his little
head on one side, and a glass of warm sherry negus at his elbow. He was so
extremely conciliatory in his manner that he seemed to apologize to the
very newspaper for taking the liberty of reading it.</p>
<p>I walked up to where he was sitting, and said, ‘How do you do, Mr.
Chillip?’</p>
<p>He was greatly fluttered by this unexpected address from a stranger, and
replied, in his slow way, ‘I thank you, sir, you are very good. Thank you,
sir. I hope YOU are well.’</p>
<p>‘You don’t remember me?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Well, sir,’ returned Mr. Chillip, smiling very meekly, and shaking his
head as he surveyed me, ‘I have a kind of an impression that something in
your countenance is familiar to me, sir; but I couldn’t lay my hand upon
your name, really.’</p>
<p>‘And yet you knew it, long before I knew it myself,’ I returned.</p>
<p>‘Did I indeed, sir?’ said Mr. Chillip. ‘Is it possible that I had the
honour, sir, of officiating when—?’</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Dear me!’ cried Mr. Chillip. ‘But no doubt you are a good deal changed
since then, sir?’</p>
<p>‘Probably,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Well, sir,’ observed Mr. Chillip, ‘I hope you’ll excuse me, if I am
compelled to ask the favour of your name?’</p>
<p>On my telling him my name, he was really moved. He quite shook hands with
me—which was a violent proceeding for him, his usual course being to
slide a tepid little fish-slice, an inch or two in advance of his hip, and
evince the greatest discomposure when anybody grappled with it. Even now,
he put his hand in his coat-pocket as soon as he could disengage it, and
seemed relieved when he had got it safe back.</p>
<p>‘Dear me, sir!’ said Mr. Chillip, surveying me with his head on one side.
‘And it’s Mr. Copperfield, is it? Well, sir, I think I should have known
you, if I had taken the liberty of looking more closely at you. There’s a
strong resemblance between you and your poor father, sir.’</p>
<p>‘I never had the happiness of seeing my father,’ I observed.</p>
<p>‘Very true, sir,’ said Mr. Chillip, in a soothing tone. ‘And very much to
be deplored it was, on all accounts! We are not ignorant, sir,’ said Mr.
Chillip, slowly shaking his little head again, ‘down in our part of the
country, of your fame. There must be great excitement here, sir,’ said Mr.
Chillip, tapping himself on the forehead with his forefinger. ‘You must
find it a trying occupation, sir!’</p>
<p>‘What is your part of the country now?’ I asked, seating myself near him.</p>
<p>‘I am established within a few miles of Bury St. Edmund’s, sir,’ said Mr.
Chillip. ‘Mrs. Chillip, coming into a little property in that
neighbourhood, under her father’s will, I bought a practice down there, in
which you will be glad to hear I am doing well. My daughter is growing
quite a tall lass now, sir,’ said Mr. Chillip, giving his little head
another little shake. ‘Her mother let down two tucks in her frocks only
last week. Such is time, you see, sir!’</p>
<p>As the little man put his now empty glass to his lips, when he made this
reflection, I proposed to him to have it refilled, and I would keep him
company with another. ‘Well, sir,’ he returned, in his slow way, ‘it’s
more than I am accustomed to; but I can’t deny myself the pleasure of your
conversation. It seems but yesterday that I had the honour of attending
you in the measles. You came through them charmingly, sir!’</p>
<p>I acknowledged this compliment, and ordered the negus, which was soon
produced. ‘Quite an uncommon dissipation!’ said Mr. Chillip, stirring it,
‘but I can’t resist so extraordinary an occasion. You have no family,
sir?’</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>‘I was aware that you sustained a bereavement, sir, some time ago,’ said
Mr. Chillip. ‘I heard it from your father-in-law’s sister. Very decided
character there, sir?’</p>
<p>‘Why, yes,’ said I, ‘decided enough. Where did you see her, Mr. Chillip?’</p>
<p>‘Are you not aware, sir,’ returned Mr. Chillip, with his placidest smile,
‘that your father-in-law is again a neighbour of mine?’</p>
<p>‘No,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘He is indeed, sir!’ said Mr. Chillip. ‘Married a young lady of that part,
with a very good little property, poor thing.—-And this action of
the brain now, sir? Don’t you find it fatigue you?’ said Mr. Chillip,
looking at me like an admiring Robin.</p>
<p>I waived that question, and returned to the Murdstones. ‘I was aware of
his being married again. Do you attend the family?’ I asked.</p>
<p>‘Not regularly. I have been called in,’ he replied. ‘Strong phrenological
developments of the organ of firmness, in Mr. Murdstone and his sister,
sir.’</p>
<p>I replied with such an expressive look, that Mr. Chillip was emboldened by
that, and the negus together, to give his head several short shakes, and
thoughtfully exclaim, ‘Ah, dear me! We remember old times, Mr.
Copperfield!’</p>
<p>‘And the brother and sister are pursuing their old course, are they?’ said
I.</p>
<p>‘Well, sir,’ replied Mr. Chillip, ‘a medical man, being so much in
families, ought to have neither eyes nor ears for anything but his
profession. Still, I must say, they are very severe, sir: both as to this
life and the next.’</p>
<p>‘The next will be regulated without much reference to them, I dare say,’ I
returned: ‘what are they doing as to this?’</p>
<p>Mr. Chillip shook his head, stirred his negus, and sipped it.</p>
<p>‘She was a charming woman, sir!’ he observed in a plaintive manner.</p>
<p>‘The present Mrs. Murdstone?’</p>
<p>‘A charming woman indeed, sir,’ said Mr. Chillip; ‘as amiable, I am sure,
as it was possible to be! Mrs. Chillip’s opinion is, that her spirit has
been entirely broken since her marriage, and that she is all but
melancholy mad. And the ladies,’ observed Mr. Chillip, timorously, ‘are
great observers, sir.’</p>
<p>‘I suppose she was to be subdued and broken to their detestable mould,
Heaven help her!’ said I. ‘And she has been.’</p>
<p>‘Well, sir, there were violent quarrels at first, I assure you,’ said Mr.
Chillip; ‘but she is quite a shadow now. Would it be considered forward if
I was to say to you, sir, in confidence, that since the sister came to
help, the brother and sister between them have nearly reduced her to a
state of imbecility?’</p>
<p>I told him I could easily believe it.</p>
<p>‘I have no hesitation in saying,’ said Mr. Chillip, fortifying himself
with another sip of negus, ‘between you and me, sir, that her mother died
of it—or that tyranny, gloom, and worry have made Mrs. Murdstone
nearly imbecile. She was a lively young woman, sir, before marriage, and
their gloom and austerity destroyed her. They go about with her, now, more
like her keepers than her husband and sister-in-law. That was Mrs.
Chillip’s remark to me, only last week. And I assure you, sir, the ladies
are great observers. Mrs. Chillip herself is a great observer!’</p>
<p>‘Does he gloomily profess to be (I am ashamed to use the word in such
association) religious still?’ I inquired.</p>
<p>‘You anticipate, sir,’ said Mr. Chillip, his eyelids getting quite red
with the unwonted stimulus in which he was indulging. ‘One of Mrs.
Chillip’s most impressive remarks. Mrs. Chillip,’ he proceeded, in the
calmest and slowest manner, ‘quite electrified me, by pointing out that
Mr. Murdstone sets up an image of himself, and calls it the Divine Nature.
You might have knocked me down on the flat of my back, sir, with the
feather of a pen, I assure you, when Mrs. Chillip said so. The ladies are
great observers, sir?’</p>
<p>‘Intuitively,’ said I, to his extreme delight.</p>
<p>‘I am very happy to receive such support in my opinion, sir,’ he rejoined.
‘It is not often that I venture to give a non-medical opinion, I assure
you. Mr. Murdstone delivers public addresses sometimes, and it is said,—in
short, sir, it is said by Mrs. Chillip,—that the darker tyrant he
has lately been, the more ferocious is his doctrine.’</p>
<p>‘I believe Mrs. Chillip to be perfectly right,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Mrs. Chillip does go so far as to say,’ pursued the meekest of little
men, much encouraged, ‘that what such people miscall their religion, is a
vent for their bad humours and arrogance. And do you know I must say,
sir,’ he continued, mildly laying his head on one side, ‘that I DON’T find
authority for Mr. and Miss Murdstone in the New Testament?’</p>
<p>‘I never found it either!’ said I.</p>
<p>‘In the meantime, sir,’ said Mr. Chillip, ‘they are much disliked; and as
they are very free in consigning everybody who dislikes them to perdition,
we really have a good deal of perdition going on in our neighbourhood!
However, as Mrs. Chillip says, sir, they undergo a continual punishment;
for they are turned inward, to feed upon their own hearts, and their own
hearts are very bad feeding. Now, sir, about that brain of yours, if
you’ll excuse my returning to it. Don’t you expose it to a good deal of
excitement, sir?’</p>
<p>I found it not difficult, in the excitement of Mr. Chillip’s own brain,
under his potations of negus, to divert his attention from this topic to
his own affairs, on which, for the next half-hour, he was quite
loquacious; giving me to understand, among other pieces of information,
that he was then at the Gray’s Inn Coffee-house to lay his professional
evidence before a Commission of Lunacy, touching the state of mind of a
patient who had become deranged from excessive drinking. ‘And I assure
you, sir,’ he said, ‘I am extremely nervous on such occasions. I could not
support being what is called Bullied, sir. It would quite unman me. Do you
know it was some time before I recovered the conduct of that alarming
lady, on the night of your birth, Mr. Copperfield?’</p>
<p>I told him that I was going down to my aunt, the Dragon of that night,
early in the morning; and that she was one of the most tender-hearted and
excellent of women, as he would know full well if he knew her better. The
mere notion of the possibility of his ever seeing her again, appeared to
terrify him. He replied with a small pale smile, ‘Is she so, indeed, sir?
Really?’ and almost immediately called for a candle, and went to bed, as
if he were not quite safe anywhere else. He did not actually stagger under
the negus; but I should think his placid little pulse must have made two
or three more beats in a minute, than it had done since the great night of
my aunt’s disappointment, when she struck at him with her bonnet.</p>
<p>Thoroughly tired, I went to bed too, at midnight; passed the next day on
the Dover coach; burst safe and sound into my aunt’s old parlour while she
was at tea (she wore spectacles now); and was received by her, and Mr.
Dick, and dear old Peggotty, who acted as housekeeper, with open arms and
tears of joy. My aunt was mightily amused, when we began to talk
composedly, by my account of my meeting with Mr. Chillip, and of his
holding her in such dread remembrance; and both she and Peggotty had a
great deal to say about my poor mother’s second husband, and ‘that
murdering woman of a sister’,—on whom I think no pain or penalty
would have induced my aunt to bestow any Christian or Proper Name, or any
other designation.</p>
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