<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XXIV" id="CHAPTER_XXIV"></SPAN>CHAPTER XXIV.</h2>
<p class="topnote">DEEP-WATER AMENITIES.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">The</span> cook stood by the galley stove, swelling
with conscious dignity, as of a man whose position
is unassailable—above criticism. "Now then,
cook!" I cried, "where's that duff?" For all
answer he seized his "tormentors"—a sort of miniature
pitchfork—and began jabbing them down
into the seething copper. "Look out, cook!" I
said, in terror, "you'll bust the duff-bag, won't
you?" No answer deigned he, but presently,
with a mighty heave of both hands, he produced a
square grey mass of something unlike anything
edible that ever I had seen. This he dumped into
the kid without a word, and waved his hand to bid
me begone. Too much amazed to speak, I bore
the ugly thing into the fo'lk'sle, setting it down in
the midst of my expectant watch-mates, and silently
retired to my corner in hungry anticipation
of some fun presently. Joe approached the kid,
knife and plate in hand, but on seeing the contents,
drew back with a start and an exclamation of
"What the —— is <i>that</i>?" "Duff, the cook calls
it," I murmured softly. "Well, I'll be —— if ever
I see or smelt anything like it in all my life," said
he; "but p'raps it eats better'n it looks, so here<span class="pagenum">[303]</span>
goes." So saying, he attacked it with his knife,
but only succeeded in removing some sodden, sloppy
morsels from the outside of the lump. Upon
the stuff itself he could make no impression; it
was like a piece of indurated gutta-percha. Heavens!
how he did swear. Then Oliver had a try;
but in a minute he, too, was reciting the commination
service. For the mess was hopeless. It was
nothing but a mixture of flour and water, without
yeast or fat, which had been roughly moulded into
a square, and, without any covering, had been
dropped into a cauldron of boiling, dirty sea-water.
Of course it had hardened and toughened, as well
as attracted to itself all the suspended grime in the
water, until it had emerged the outrageous abomination
before us. The men's wrath was really too
great for ordinary bad language; they wanted to
kill somebody. Presently Joe snatched up the kid
and rushed to the galley with it, but the cook had
wisely retreated to the cabin. Thither the furious
men followed him, shouting in strident tones for
him to "Come out of that!" they wanted to
speak to him. Of course the old man showed
himself first, blustering grandly about the impudence
that thus invaded the holy calm of his cabin.
This precipitated matters, and in about a minute
there was a furious row. It culminated presently
in Joe hurling the kid and its slippery contents
right into the cabin, and striding forward with a
savage string of oaths to the effect that not another
stroke would <i>he</i> do until he got something
that he could eat. Quiet reigned for a brief space,
until presently Harry, the cabin-boy, poked his<span class="pagenum">[304]</span>
nose round the fo'lk'sle door, saying with a grin,
"Cook's awful sorry he spiled the duff, but he's
coming forrard presently with a tin o' soup and
bully as soon's the old man's back's turned. Don't
go fer him, pore beggar! he's nearly frightened to
deth." The wrath having been mostly diverted
to the skipper, this proposition was not unfavourably
entertained, and in due time the cook sneaked
forrard with a hang-dog air, a huge tin of preserved
soup under his apron. And so it came to pass
that peace was patched up for the time, although
this outbreak of hostilities made the way plain and
easy for a succession of rows, until the skipper's authority
was a thing of naught. To make matters
worse we actually fell short of provisions. This
was a most scandalous thing to happen, for we
were only six weeks out from Sydney, where all
sorts of ship's consumable stores were both excellent
and cheap. And we were informed by one of
the apprentices that he knew for a fact that the
owners had ordered Captain Bunker to provision
the ship fully in the colonies for this very reason.
We were stinted in everything; but by the connivance
of the cabin-boy, Harry, who used to leave
the pantry door unlocked, I made many a nightly
raid upon its contents, such as they were. Many a
time I had to crouch in its dark recesses, while the
old man, prowling about on his bare feet, was peering
in and inquiring querulously, "Who's there?
I thought I heard somebody!" The instant his
back was turned I would bolt for the fo'lk'sle, with
my cap full of sugar or the breast of my jumper
full of cuddy biscuits, or whatever spoil was come<span class="pagenum">[305]</span>atable.
These nocturnal depredations were a
source of endless delight to the second mate. His
fat sides would shake with silent laughter as he
watched the stealthy glidings to and fro, and heard
the mutterings of the suspicious skipper, who
never dared say a wry word to him. One night, at
the wheel, I was telling him how savagely hungry
I was, when, to my amazement, he replied, "Well,
there's a meat pie on the swingin' tray, why don't
ye go an' pinch it?" "What?" I said in a horrified
whisper, "an' have the old man come out an'
catch me! Why he'd put me in irons for a
month." "G'way," he muttered scornfully, "he'd
never hear ye. No man thet smokes ez much ez
he does is a light sleeper. You ain't got pluck
enough, that's what's the matter with <i>you</i>. Yew'd
rather go hungry than run a little risk." The fact
was, I didn't trust him any too much, for it occurred
to me that it might fall in with his notions
of fun to see the old man come out and muzzle me
in the very act of embezzling that pie. His next
move, however, completely dissipated all my fears.
For he rolled off the hen-coop, where he had been
lolling, and disappeared below, returning in a few
minutes with the information that he had lashed
the old man's state-room door-handles together,
so that he couldn't get out if he did wake. I immediately
resigned the wheel to him, shot down
into the darkness, and had that pie on deck before
you could count ten. I sat on the break of the
poop and ate it, while the second mate steered
as well as he could for laughing at the precipitous
disappearance of the pie. When I had con<span class="pagenum">[306]</span>cealed
it all, I replaced the empty dish on the
swinging tray, and returned to the wheel. Then
the second mate cast adrift the lashings on the
door, and all resumed its normal calm, preceding
the hurricane at breakfast-time, when the loss
was discovered. But there was no breach of
confidence, and the vanished pie took its place
among the unsolved mysteries of life for Captain
Bunker.</p>
<p>As we crept closer and closer to our port, favoured
by fine weather, discipline disappeared altogether
as far as the skipper was concerned.
Work still went on as usual out of deference to the
officers, with whom the chaps felt they had no
quarrel, but if the old man opened his mouth he
was sure to be insulted by somebody. I have not
told—indeed, I dare not tell—a tithe of the things
that were said to him; the only persons preserving
any show of deference towards him being old Hansen
and the boys. The officers, of course, did not
openly flout him—they just ignored him, while he
almost cringed to them. And then one day, a
week before our arrival off the mouth of the Irrawaddy,
Harry came forrard and told us something
that made sport for all hands for the rest of that
voyage. Everybody was hungry now, fore and
aft, the commons being woefully short. But at
the usual time for taking the forenoon sights for
longitude, the skipper being in his state-room with
the door shut, Harry went to call him, supposing
him to be asleep. After knocking two or three
times, Harry heard a muffled voice within saying,
"Go away, I'm at my devotions." Such a state<span class="pagenum">[307]</span>ment
took Harry's breath away for a moment, but
yielding to an uncontrollable impulse, he stooped
and peeped through the keyhole. There sat Captain
Bunker, a square tin of biscuits between his
knees, a pot of jam open by his side, and his mouth
bulging with the delicate food. Harry had seen
enough; and in ten minutes it was all over the
ship. From that time forward, "Don't disturb
me, I'm at my devotions," was heard whenever it
was possible to drag it in, until the monotonous
repetition of the phrase became wearisome as a
London catch-word. It annoyed the skipper almost
to madness; but that only gave delight to the
men, who felt that at last they had got hold of a
cheap and effective way of repaying him for the
hardships they were enduring through him.</p>
<p>We were favoured with splendid weather, although
the north-east monsoon, being almost
"dead on end"—that is, blowing right from the
direction in which we had to go—made our progress
exasperatingly slow; and as the scanty stock
of bad provisions got lower and lower the gloomiest
anticipations prevailed. But we managed to
reach Elephant Point before we were quite starved,
and with the utmost joy received a white pilot on
board, who, finding that he was likely to hunger if
he had to make any lengthened stay with us, used
all his skill to get us into port quickly. There
were some fine screw-tugs plying on the Irrawaddy,
but, of course, we could not avail ourselves
of their assistance, the towage being enormously
high, and our old man most anxious to curtail expenses
to balance his waste in other directions.<span class="pagenum">[308]</span>
So we were treated to an exhibition of backing and
filling up the river on the flood, just as the old
Geordie colliers do to this day up the Thames: a
feat of seamanship requiring a great deal of skill for
its successful accomplishment. Of course the tide
will carry a vessel up the river, but it is necessary
to keep her under control, and, with the wind
blowing straight down the river, the only way of
doing this is to stand across the stream, say on
the starboard tack, with all sails full; then, when
as far as possible has been sailed, to haul the yards
aback, and go stern foremost back again. In this
manner we worked up the noble stream, finding
ourselves at the turn of the tide within a few miles
of our destination, at a spot known as Monkey
Point. Here we anchored for the night, the rushing
of the swift ebb past us keeping up a continual
undertone of energy, and straining our cable out
taut as if we were stemming a gale. All manner
of bloodthirsty insects boarded us in battalions,
lured in our direction, doubtless, by the smell of
fresh supplies of food, and through their united
efforts we spent a most miserable night. So much
were we tormented, that when daylight called us
to resume our journey we were languid and worn-out,
hardly able to tear the anchor from its tremendous
hold upon the thick, elastic mud forming
the bed of the river. We got under way at last,
however, and then another couple of hours brought
us up to the anchorage off the city, where a great
fleet of steamers and ships lay loading rice, mostly
for India, for the relief of a famine which was then
raging.<span class="pagenum">[309]</span></p>
<p>We moored with an anchor ahead and another
astern, as is usual in crowded anchorages, so that
the vessel, as I have before explained, swings round
and round as if moored to a post, taking up little
more room than her own length. In many respects
this was the strangest place that I had yet
visited, the pointed spires of the numerous pagodas
rising out of the dense leafage giving the city
a truly Eastern appearance, while the lofty shining
summit of the great pagoda dominated everything
else. As soon as the work of furling sails and
clearing up decks was done—as the skipper had
hurried ashore—we were allowed the remainder of
the day to rest, and, rigging up an awning over the
forecastle, we proceeded to enjoy ourselves. Here
the boats are propelled by the boatmen in exactly
the same way as a gondola is, and the way those
fellows managed their cumbrous craft in the swift
current was something compelling all our admiration.
The native vessels, too, that came majestically
gliding down from far up country laden with
rice for shipment, were the most interesting that I
had yet seen. They were of large size, some of
them carrying fifty tons of cargo, and roofed in by
a deeply slanting covering of bamboo mats to protect
the cargo. Both stern and bow rose in a
graceful curve, while the stem often towered high
in air—a perpendicular beam of teak most richly
carved into elaborate designs of the quaintest and
most eerie character. A tiny deck aft accommodated
the steersman, who with great effort manipulated
a gigantic oar working through a hole in the
stern, also richly carved and decorated in some<span class="pagenum">[310]</span>
cases with gilding. But the men—the yellow, almond-eyed
Burmese—not satisfied with the prodigious
amount of labour expended on the adornment
of their craft, decorated their own bodies so
elaborately that it was difficult to understand however
they could have borne the tedium of the tattooing,
to say nothing of the pain. No people
in the world carry the practice of tattooing to
such artistic lengths as the Burmese universally
do. Every man we saw had a magnificent
series of designs covering his trunk to the waist,
executed in vermilion, and representing flowers,
animals, and graceful whorls filling in any
spaces too small to allow of anything else
being tattooed there. From the waist to the
knees they were tattooed in blue, the designs
being plainer and not so artistic as above. They
were a jolly, cheerful lot; but dignified, too, having
none of the exuberance of the negro about
them.</p>
<p>Just across the river, opposite to where we lay,
was a great saw-mill, where a herd of a dozen elephants
were gravely occupied in drawing teak-logs
from rafts in the water up through the mud,
and piling them in stacks well above high-water
mark. They worked in couples, and seemed to
need no directing what to do. Two or three natives
lounged about among them; but every effort
they made was apparently the result of their own
initiative as far as could be seen. They worked in
couples—sedately, ponderously; but the sum-total
of their labour was quite in keeping with their
huge bulk. One enormous beast was apparently<span class="pagenum">[311]</span>
the foreman (our fellows called him the bo'sun).
He roamed about leisurely, bearing in his trunk
a couple of yards of massive chain, which he
flourished now and then as if it were a scourge
which he would use upon his toiling charges
should he see fit to encourage them to more
strenuous effort. But as we stared at the strange
sight with intense interest, there was a jet of
steam from the mill, a deep whistle sounded,
and on the instant every elephant dropped whatever
he had in his trunk and, with quickened
steps, made for his quarters. It was "knock-off
time."</p>
<p>Work proceeded in a very easy-going fashion,
for the captain had taken up his quarters on shore
and did not return for several days, being supposed
by all of us to have entered upon a steady course of
spree. We got the hold ready to receive the cargo,
and did such other duties as were required of
us, without any undue strain upon our energies,
while our bumboatman kept us well supplied with
all such luxuries, in the way of fruit, soft-tack, eggs,
etc., as sailors delight in in Indian ports. Matters
proceeded in this way until one day an order came
off from the skipper that an anchor-watch must be
kept. This meant that, instead of one man keeping
watch all night, and being free from any other
duty, every man must take one hour's watch in
addition to his day's work. Now, this sort of vigil
is only kept during a temporary anchorage, never
as a harbour duty; and, consequently, there was
an instant refusal to obey unless the day's work
was shortened. The officers, having no authority<span class="pagenum">[312]</span>
to do this, refused to entertain the idea, and the
result was that no regular watch was kept at all.
Two or three nights passed until, in the midst of a
tremendous storm of thunder, lightning, and rain,
I was roused by old Hansen with the words,
"Tom, id's your vatch, und de olt man's 'longside,
kigging up de fery teufel 'cause dere's nopody
avake." I was lying on the forecastle head under
the awning, nearly stifled with the heat; and, muttering
a blessing upon the old man, I pulled off my
sole garment, and sallied forth into the black,
steaming deluge in the costume of Adam before
the fall. As I reached the gangway the old man
just climbed on board; and at that moment a flash
of lightning revealed everything as if in full noonday
glare—especially my shining white skin. He
was just angry drunk; and the sight of me standing
there, naked and not ashamed, nearly made
him split with rage. He howled like a hyena for
the mate, who, startled beyond measure, came
rushing out of his cabin into the flood. Turning
savagely to him, the skipper, almost unintelligibly,
demanded the reason of this disgraceful state of
affairs—pointing to me, standing, like Lot's wife,
under the incessant play of the lightning. It was
an irresistibly funny tableau. Over the rail peered
the black faces and glaring eyeballs of the Hindu
boatmen who had brought the skipper off, their
impassive faces showing no sign of the wonder they
must have felt at these unprecedented proceedings.
The hissing downpour of rain descended
pitilessly, its noise almost drowning the infuriated
voice of Captain Bunker, who, foaming with rage,<span class="pagenum">[313]</span>
berated the saturnine mate. Every other second
we were all invisible to each other—the darkness
engulfed us. Then a rending glare of white light
revealed us all again, standing as if posing for our
portraits. The mate tired of it first, and, turning
to me, said grimly, "Go an' get some close on.
Y'ought ter be 'shamed o' yerself comin' aft like
that." I instantly retreated forrard, while the old
man, still raging, followed the mate as he returned
to his cabin without deigning a word of reply. I
rigged myself hurriedly and came aft again, prepared
to keep the rest of my watch under the
poop-awning in such comfort as I could. But I
had hardly lit a cigar (the rupee a hundred sort),
and settled myself cosily in the skipper's long chair,
when that restless man emerged from the companion
and strolled towards me. I did not stir—indeed,
it was too late, since I was caught. I
could only brazen it out. At first I feared his rage
would choke him, for he gasped as if the flow of
eloquence was literally strangling him in its frantic
efforts to find a vent. Suddenly he made two
steps towards me, gurgling as he did so, "Git off
my poop or I'll kick ye down the steps!" I
sprang lightly out of my seat and stood on the defensive,
saying nothing, but backing cautiously to
the ladder, which I descended with my face towards
him. I heard no more of him afterwards,
for my watch was soon over, and my relief, one of
the apprentices, came on watch at once. Next
day there was a regular inquiry into the vexed
anchor-watch question; and, after much heated
discussion, it was arranged that we should resume<span class="pagenum">[314]</span>
work one hour later each morning and keep regular
watch one hour each through the night. As
soon as this was settled our worthy chief departed
on shore again; and there, to our great relief, he
remained.</p>
<hr class="chapter" />
<p><span class="pagenum">[315]</span></p>
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