<h3>THE TRAVESTIE</h3>
<p>Here we are, Corbett, and now I only wish my venture had been double,'
observed Pickersgill; 'but I shall not allow business to absorb me
wholly—we must add a little amusement. It appears to me, Corbett, that
the gentleman's clothes which lie there will fit you, and those of the
good-looking fellow who was spokesman will, I am sure, suit me well. Now
let us dress ourselves, and then for breakfast.'</p>
<p>Pickersgill then exchanged his clothes for those of Mr. Hautaine, and
Corbett fitted on those of Mr. Ossulton. The steward was summoned up,
and he dared not disobey; he appeared on deck, trembling.</p>
<p>'Steward, you will take these clothes below,' said Pickersgill, 'and,
observe, that I now command this yacht; and during the time that I am on
board you will pay me the same respect as you did Lord B.; nay, more,
you will always address me as Lord B. You will prepare dinner and
breakfast, and do your duty just as if his lordship was on board, and
take care that you feed us well, for I will not allow the ladies to be
entertained in a less sumptuous manner than before. You will tell the
cook what I say; and now that you have heard me, take care that you
obey; if not, recollect that I have my own men here, and if I but point
with my finger, <i>overboard you go</i>. Do you perfectly comprehend me?'</p>
<p>'Yes, sir,' stammered the steward.</p>
<p>'Yes, <i>sir!</i>—What did I tell you, sirrah?—Yes, my lord. Do you
understand me?'</p>
<p>'Yes—my lord.'</p>
<p>'Pray, steward, whose clothes has this gentleman put on?'</p>
<p>'Mr.—Mr. Ossulton's, I think—sir—my lord, I mean.'<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>'Very well, steward; then recollect in future you always address that
gentleman as <i>Mr. Ossulton</i>.'</p>
<p>'Yes, my lord,' and the steward went down below, and was obliged to take
a couple of glasses of brandy to keep himself from fainting.</p>
<p>'Who are they, and what are they, Mr. Maddox?' cried the lady's-maid,
who had been weeping.</p>
<p>'Pirates!—<i>bloody, murderous stick-at-nothing</i> pirates!' replied the
steward.</p>
<p>'Oh!' screamed the lady's-maid, 'what will become of us, poor
unprotected females?' And she hastened into the cabin, to impart this
dreadful intelligence.</p>
<p>The ladies in the cabin were not in a very enviable situation. As for
the elder Miss Ossulton (but, perhaps, it will be better in future to
distinguish the two ladies, by calling the elder simply Miss Ossulton,
and her niece, Cecilia), she was sitting with her salts to her nose,
agonised with a mixture of trepidation and wounded pride. Mrs. Lascelles
was weeping, but weeping gently. Cecilia was sad, and her heart was
beating with anxiety and suspense, when the maid rushed in.</p>
<p>'Oh, madam! oh, miss! oh, Mrs. Lascelles! I have found it all out!—they
are murderous, bloody, do-everything pirates!!!'</p>
<p>'Mercy on us!' exclaimed Miss Ossulton; 'surely they will never
dare——'</p>
<p>'Oh, ma'am, they dare anything!—they just now were for throwing the
steward overboard; and they have rummaged all the portmanteaus, and
dressed themselves in the gentlemen's best clothes. The captain of them
told the steward that he was Lord B., and that if he dared to call him
anything else, he would cut his throat from ear to ear; and if the cook
don't give them a good dinner, they swear that they'll chop his right
hand off, and make him eat it without pepper or salt!'</p>
<p>Miss Ossulton screamed, and went off into hysterics. Mrs. Lascelles and
Cecilia went to her assistance; but the latter had not forgotten the
very different behaviour of Jack Pickersgill, and his polite manners,
when he boarded the vessel. She did not, therefore, believe what the
maid had reported, but still her anxiety and suspense were great,
especially about her father. After having restored her aunt she put on
her bonnet, which was lying on the sofa.</p>
<p>'Where are you going, dear?' said Mrs. Lascelles.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</SPAN></span></p>
<p><br/></p>
<div class="figcenter border" style="width: 433px; height: 660px;">
<ANTIMG src="images/i253.png" width-obs="433" height-obs="600" alt="" title="" />
<span class="caption"><i>'Pirates!—bloody, murderous stick-at-nothing
pirates!' replied the steward.</i></span></div>
<p><br/></p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>'On deck,' replied Cecilia. 'I must and will speak to these men.'</p>
<p>'Gracious heaven, Miss Ossulton! going on deck! have you heard what
Phœ be says?'</p>
<p>'Yes, aunt, I have; but I can wait here no longer.'</p>
<p>'Stop her! stop her!—she will be murdered!—she will be—she is mad!'
screamed Miss Ossulton; but no one attempted to stop Cecilia, and on
deck she went. On her arrival she found Jack Pickersgill and Corbett
walking the deck, one of the smugglers at the helm, and the rest
forward, and as quiet as the crew of the yacht. As soon as she made her
appearance Jack took off his hat, and made her a bow.</p>
<p>'I do not know whom I have the honour of addressing, young lady; but I
am flattered with this mark of confidence. You feel, and I assure you
you feel correctly, that you are not exactly in lawless hands.'</p>
<p>Cecilia looked with more surprise than fear at Pickersgill. Mr.
Hautaine's dress became him; he was a handsome, fine-looking man, and
had nothing of the ruffian in his appearance; unless, like Byron's
Corsair, he was <i>half savage, half soft</i>. She could not help thinking
that she had met many with less pretensions, as far as appearance went,
to the claims of a gentleman, at Almack's and other fashionable circles.</p>
<p>'I have ventured on deck, sir,' said Cecilia, with a little
tremulousness in her voice, 'to request, as a favour, that you will
inform me what your intentions may be with regard to the vessel and with
regard to the ladies!'</p>
<p>'And I feel much obliged to you for so doing, and I assure you I will,
as far as I have made up my own mind, answer you candidly: but you
tremble—allow me to conduct you to a seat. In few words, then, to
remove your present alarm, I intend that the vessel shall be returned to
its owner, with every article in it, as religiously respected as if they
were church property. With respect to you, and the other ladies on
board, I pledge you my honour that you have nothing to fear; that you
shall be treated with every respect; your privacy never invaded; and
that, in a few days, you will be restored to your friends. Young lady, I
pledge my hopes of future salvation to the truth of this; but, at the
same time, I must make a few conditions, which, however, will not be
very severe.'</p>
<p>'But, sir,' replied Cecilia, much relieved, for Pickersgill had<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</SPAN></span> stood
by her in the most respectful manner, 'you are, I presume, the captain
of the smuggler? Pray answer me one question more—What became of the
boat with Lord B.? He is my father.'</p>
<p>'I left him in his boat, without a hair of his head touched, young lady;
but I took away the oars.'</p>
<p>'Then he will perish!' cried Cecilia, putting her handkerchief to her
eyes.</p>
<p>'No, young lady; he is on shore, probably, by this time. Although I took
away his means of assisting to capture us, I left him the means of
gaining the land. It is not every one who would have done that, after
his conduct to us.'</p>
<p>'I begged him not to go,' said Cecilia; 'I told him that it was not
fair, and that he had no quarrel with the smugglers.'</p>
<p>'I thank you even for that,' replied Pickersgill. 'And now, miss—I have
not the pleasure of recollecting his lordship's family name——'</p>
<p>'Ossulton, sir,' said Cecilia, looking at Pickersgill with surprise.</p>
<p>'Then, with your permission, Miss Ossulton, I will now make you my
confidant: excuse my using so free a term, but it is because I wish to
relieve your fears. At the same time, I cannot permit you to divulge all
my intentions to the whole party on board. I feel that I may trust you,
for you have courage, and where there is courage there generally is
truth; but you must first tell me whether you will condescend to accept
these terms.'</p>
<p>Cecilia demurred a moment; the idea of being the confidant of a smuggler
rather startled her: but still, her knowledge of what his intentions
were, if she might not reveal them, might be important; as, perhaps, she
might dissuade him. She could be in no worse position than she was now,
and she might be in a much better. The conduct of Pickersgill had been
such, up to the present, as to inspire confidence; and, although he
defied the laws, he appeared to regard the courtesies of life. Cecilia
was a courageous girl, and at length she replied—</p>
<p>'Provided what you desire me to keep secret will not be injurious to any
one, or compromise me in my peculiar situation, I consent.'</p>
<p>'I would not hurt a fly, Miss Ossulton, but in self-defence;<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</SPAN></span> and I have
too much respect for you, from your conduct during our short meeting, to
compromise you. Allow me now to be very candid; and then, perhaps, you
will acknowledge that in my situation others would do the same, and,
perhaps, not show half so much forbearance. Your father, without any
right whatever, interferes with me and my calling: he attempts to make
me a prisoner, to have me thrown in jail, heavily fined, and, perhaps,
sent out of the country. I will not enter into any defence of smuggling:
it is sufficient to say that there are pains and penalties attached to
the infraction of certain laws, and that I choose to risk them. But Lord
B. was not empowered by Government to attack me; it was a gratuitous
act; and had I thrown him and all his crew into the sea, I should have
been justified: for it was, in short, an act of piracy on their part.
Now, as your father has thought to turn a yacht into a revenue cutter,
you cannot be surprised at my retaliating, in turning her into a
smuggler; and as he has mixed up looking after the revenue with
yachting, he cannot be surprised if I retaliate by mixing up a little
yachting with smuggling. I have dressed your male companions as
smugglers, and have sent them in the smuggling vessel to Cherbourg,
where they will be safely landed; and I have dressed myself, and the
only person whom I could join with me in this frolic, as gentlemen, in
their places. My object is twofold: one is, to land my cargo, which I
have now on board, and which is very valuable; the other is, to
retaliate upon your father and his companions for their attempt upon me,
by stepping into their shoes, and enjoying, for a day or two, their
luxuries. It is my intention to make free with nothing but his
lordship's wines and eatables—that you may be assured of; but I shall
have no pleasure if the ladies do not sit down to the dinner-table with
us, as they did before with your father and his friends.'</p>
<p>'You can hardly expect that, sir,' said Cecilia.</p>
<p>'Yes, I do; and that will be not only the price of the early release of
the yacht and themselves, but it will also be the only means by which
they will obtain anything to eat. You observe, Miss Ossulton, the sins
of the fathers are visited on the children. I have now told you what I
mean to do, and what I wish. I leave you to think of it, and decide
whether it will not be the best for all parties to consent. You have<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</SPAN></span> my
permission to tell the other ladies that, whatever may be their conduct,
they are as secure from ill-treatment or rudeness as if they were in
Grosvenor Square; but I cannot answer that they will not be hungry, if,
after such forbearance in every point, they show so little gratitude as
not to honour me with their company.'</p>
<p>'Then I am to understand that we are to be starved into submission?'</p>
<p>'No, not starved, Miss Ossulton; but recollect that you will be on bread
and water, and detained until you do consent, and your detention will
increase the anxiety of your father.'</p>
<p>'You know how to persuade, sir,' said Cecilia. 'As far as I am
concerned, I trust I shall ever be ready to sacrifice any feelings of
pride to spare my father so much uneasiness. With your permission, I
will now go down into the cabin and relieve my companions from the worst
of their fears. As for obtaining what you wish, I can only say that, as
a young person, I am not likely to have much influence with those older
than myself, and must inevitably be overruled, as I have not permission
to point out to them reasons which might avail. Would you so far allow
me to be relieved from my promise, as to communicate all you have said
to me to the only married woman on board? I think I then might obtain
your wishes, which, I must candidly tell you, I shall attempt to effect
<i>only</i> because I am most anxious to rejoin my friends.'</p>
<p>'And be relieved of my company,' replied Pickersgill, smiling
ironically—'of course you are; but I must and will have my petty
revenge: and although you may, and probably will, detest me, at all
events you shall not have any very formidable charge to make against me.
Before you go below, Miss Ossulton, I give you my permission to add the
married lady to the number of my confidants; and you must permit me to
introduce my friend, Mr. Ossulton;' and Pickersgill waved his hand in
the direction of Corbett, who took off his hat and made a low obeisance.</p>
<p>It was impossible for Cecilia Ossulton to help smiling.</p>
<p>'And,' continued Pickersgill, 'having taken the command of this yacht
instead of his lordship, it is absolutely necessary that I also take his
lordship's name. While on board I am Lord B.; and allow me to introduce
myself under that name;<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</SPAN></span> I cannot be addressed otherwise. Depend upon
it, Miss Ossulton, that I shall have a most paternal solicitude to make
you happy and comfortable.'</p>
<p>Had Cecilia Ossulton dared to have given vent to her real feelings at
that time, she would have burst into a fit of laughter; it was too
ludicrous. At the same time, the very burlesque reassured her still
more. She went into the cabin with a heavy weight removed from her
heart.</p>
<p>In the meantime, Miss Ossulton and Mrs. Lascelles remained below, in the
greatest anxiety at Cecilia's prolonged stay; they knew not what to
think, and dared not go on deck. Mrs. Lascelles had once determined at
all risks to go up; but Miss Ossulton and Phœ be had screamed and
implored her so fervently not to leave them, that she unwillingly
consented to remain. Cecilia's countenance, when she entered the cabin,
reassured Mrs. Lascelles, but not her aunt, who ran to her crying and
sobbing, and clinging to her, saying, 'What have they done to you, my
poor, poor Cecilia?'</p>
<p>'Nothing at all, aunt,' replied Cecilia; 'the captain speaks very
fairly, and says he shall respect us in every possible way, provided
that we obey his orders; but if not——'</p>
<p>'If not—what, Cecilia?' said Miss Ossulton, grasping her niece's arm.</p>
<p>'He will starve us, and not let us go!'</p>
<p>'God have mercy on us!' cried Miss Ossulton, renewing her sobs.</p>
<p>Cecilia then went to Mrs. Lascelles, and communicated to her apart all
that had passed. Mrs. Lascelles agreed with Cecilia that they were in no
danger of insult; and as they talked over the matter they at last began
to laugh; there was a novelty in it, and there was something so
ridiculous in all the gentlemen being turned into smugglers. Cecilia was
glad that she could not tell her aunt, as she wished her to be so
frightened as never to have her company on board the yacht again; and
Mrs. Lascelles was too glad to annoy her for many and various insults
received. The matter was therefore canvassed over very satisfactorily,
and Mrs. Lascelles felt a natural curiosity to see this new Lord B. and
the second Mr. Ossulton. But they had had no breakfast, and were feeling
very hungry now that their alarm was over. They desired Phœ be to ask
the steward for some tea or coffee. The reply<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</SPAN></span> was, that 'Breakfast was
laid in the cabin, and Lord B. trusted that the ladies would come to
partake of it.'</p>
<p>'No, no,' replied Mrs. Lascelles, 'I never can, without being introduced
to them first.'</p>
<p>'Nor will I go,' replied Cecilia, 'but I will write a note, and we will
have our breakfast here.' Cecilia wrote a note in pencil as follows:—</p>
<blockquote><p>'Miss Ossulton's compliments to Lord B., and, as the ladies feel
rather indisposed after the alarm of this morning, they trust that
his lordship will excuse their coming to breakfast; but hope to
meet his lordship at dinner, if not before that time on deck.'</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The answer was propitious, and the steward soon appeared with the
breakfast in the ladies' cabin.</p>
<p>'Well, Maddox,' said Cecilia, 'how do you get on with your new master?'</p>
<p>The steward looked at the door, to see if it was closed, shook his head,
and then said, with a look of despair, 'He has ordered a haunch of
venison for dinner, miss, and he has twice threatened to toss me
overboard.'</p>
<p>'You must obey him, Maddox, or he certainly will. These pirates are
dreadful fellows. Be attentive, and serve him just as if he was my
father.'</p>
<p>'Yes, yes, ma'am, I will; but our time may come. It's <i>burglary</i> on the
high seas, and I'll go fifty miles to see him hanged.'</p>
<p>'Steward!' cried Pickersgill, from the cabin.</p>
<p>'O Lord! he can't have heard me—d'ye think he did, miss?'</p>
<p>'The partitions are very thin, and you spoke very loud,' said Mrs.
Lascelles; 'at all events, go to him quickly.'</p>
<p>'Good-bye, miss; good-bye, ma'am, if I shouldn't see you any more,' said
Maddox, trembling with fear, as he obeyed the awful summons—which was
to demand a toothpick.</p>
<p>Miss Ossulton would not touch the breakfast; not so Mrs. Lascelles and
Cecilia, who ate very heartily.</p>
<p>'It's very dull to be shut up in this cabin,' said Mrs. Lascelles;
'come, Cecilia, let's go on deck.'</p>
<p>'And leave me!' cried Miss Ossulton.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>'There is Phœ be here, aunt; we are going up to persuade the pirates
to put us all on shore.'</p>
<p>Mrs. Lascelles and Cecilia put on their bonnets and went up. Lord B.
took off his hat, and begged the honour of being introduced to the
pretty widow. He handed the ladies to a seat, and then commenced
conversing upon various subjects, which at the same time possessed great
novelty. His lordship talked about France, and described its ports; told
now and then a good anecdote; pointed out the different headlands, bays,
towns, and villages, which they were passing rapidly, and always had
some little story connected with each. Before the ladies had been two
hours on deck they found themselves, to their infinite surprise, not
only interested, but in conversation with the captain of the smuggler,
and more than once they laughed outright. But the <i>soi-disant</i> Lord B.
had inspired them with confidence; they fully believed that what he had
told them was true, and that he had taken possession of the yacht to
smuggle his goods, to be revenged, and to have a laugh. Now none of
these three offences are capital in the eyes of the fair sex, and Jack
was a handsome, fine-looking fellow, of excellent manners and very
agreeable conversation; at the same time, neither he nor his friend were
in their general deportment and behaviour otherwise than most
respectful.</p>
<p>'Ladies, as you are not afraid of me, which is a greater happiness than
I had reason to expect, I think you may be amused to witness the fear of
those who accuse your sex of cowardice. With your permission, I will
send for the cook and steward, and inquire about the dinner.'</p>
<p>'I should like to know what there is for dinner,' observed Mrs.
Lascelles demurely; 'wouldn't you, Cecilia?'</p>
<p>Cecilia put her handkerchief to her mouth.</p>
<p>'Tell the steward and the cook both to come aft immediately,' cried
Pickersgill.</p>
<p>In a few seconds they both made their appearance.</p>
<p>'Steward!' cried Pickersgill, with a loud voice.</p>
<p>'Yes, my lord,' replied Maddox, with his hat in his hand.</p>
<p>'What wines have you put out for dinner?'</p>
<p>'Champagne, my lord; and claret, my lord; and Madeira and sherry, my
lord.'</p>
<p>'No Burgundy, sir?'<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</SPAN></span></p>
<p><br/></p>
<div class="figcenter border" style="width: 392px; height: 680px;">
<ANTIMG src="images/i261.png" width-obs="392" height-obs="600" alt="" title="" />
<span class="caption"><i>'Upon my soul, my lord,' cried Maddox, dropping on his
knees, 'there is no Burgundy on board—ask the ladies.'</i></span></div>
<p><br/></p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>'No, my lord; there is no Burgundy on board.'</p>
<p>'No Burgundy, sir! do you dare to tell me that?'</p>
<p>'Upon my soul, my lord,' cried Maddox, dropping on his knees, 'there is
no Burgundy on board—ask the ladies.'</p>
<p>'Very well, sir, you may go.'</p>
<p>'Cook, what have you got for dinner?'</p>
<p>'Sir, a haunch of mutt—of venison, my lord,' replied the cook, with his
white nightcap in his hand.</p>
<p>'What else, sirrah?'</p>
<p>'A boiled calf's head, my lord.'</p>
<p>'A boiled calf's head! Let it be roasted, or I'll roast you, sir!' cried
Pickersgill, in an angry tone.</p>
<p>'Yes, my lord; I'll roast it.'</p>
<p>'And what else, sir?'</p>
<p>'Maintenon cutlets, my lord.'</p>
<p>'Maintenon cutlets! I hate them—I won't have them, sir. Let them be
dressed <i>à l'ombre Chinoise</i>.'</p>
<p>'I don't know what that is, my lord.'</p>
<p>'I don't care for that, sirrah; if you don't find out by dinner-time,
you're food for fishes—that's all; you may go.'</p>
<p>The cook walked off wringing his hands and his nightcap as well—for he
still held it in his right hand—and disappeared down the fore-hatchway.</p>
<p>'I have done this to pay you a deserved compliment, ladies; you have
more courage than the other sex.'</p>
<p>'Recollect that we have had confidence given to us in consequence of
your pledging your word, my lord.'</p>
<p>'You do me, then, the honour of believing me?'</p>
<p>'I did not until I saw you,' replied Mrs. Lascelles; 'but now I am
convinced that you will perform your promise.'</p>
<p>'You do indeed encourage me, madam, to pursue what is right,' said
Pickersgill, bowing; 'for your approbation I should be most sorry to
lose, still more sorry to prove myself unworthy of it.'</p>
<p>As the reader will observe, everything was going on remarkably well.</p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</SPAN></span></p>
<h2>CHAPTER VI</h2>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />