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<h2> The Ballad of Pious Pete </h2>
<p><i>"The North has got him."</i> —Yukonism.<br/></p>
<p>I tried to refine that neighbor of mine, honest to God, I did.<br/>
I grieved for his fate, and early and late I watched over him like a kid.<br/>
I gave him excuse, I bore his abuse in every way that I could;<br/>
I swore to prevail; I camped on his trail;<br/>
I plotted and planned for his good.<br/>
By day and by night I strove in men's sight to gather him into the fold,<br/>
With precept and prayer, with hope and despair,<br/>
in hunger and hardship and cold.<br/>
I followed him into Gehennas of sin, I sat where the sirens sit;<br/>
In the shade of the Pole, for the sake of his soul,<br/>
I strove with the powers of the Pit.<br/>
I shadowed him down to the scrofulous town;<br/>
I dragged him from dissolute brawls;<br/>
But I killed the galoot when he started to shoot electricity into my walls.<br/>
<br/>
God knows what I did he should seek to be rid<br/>
of one who would save him from shame.<br/>
God knows what I bore that night when he swore<br/>
and bade me make tracks from his claim.<br/>
I started to tell of the horrors of hell,<br/>
when sudden his eyes lit like coals;<br/>
And "Chuck it," says he, "don't persecute me<br/>
with your cant and your saving of souls."<br/>
I'll swear I was mild as I'd be with a child,<br/>
but he called me the son of a slut;<br/>
And, grabbing his gun with a leap and a run,<br/>
he threatened my face with the butt.<br/>
So what could I do (I leave it to you)? With curses he harried me forth;<br/>
Then he was alone, and I was alone, and over us menaced the North.<br/>
<br/>
Our cabins were near; I could see, I could hear;<br/>
but between us there rippled the creek;<br/>
And all summer through, with a rancor that grew,<br/>
he would pass me and never would speak.<br/>
Then a shuddery breath like the coming of Death<br/>
crept down from the peaks far away;<br/>
The water was still; the twilight was chill; the sky was a tatter of gray.<br/>
Swift came the Big Cold, and opal and gold the lights of the witches arose;<br/>
The frost-tyrant clinched, and the valley was cinched<br/>
by the stark and cadaverous snows.<br/>
The trees were like lace where the star-beams could chase,<br/>
each leaf was a jewel agleam.<br/>
The soft white hush lapped the Northland and wrapped<br/>
us round in a crystalline dream;<br/>
So still I could hear quite loud in my ear<br/>
the swish of the pinions of time;<br/>
So bright I could see, as plain as could be,<br/>
the wings of God's angels ashine.<br/>
<br/>
As I read in the Book I would oftentimes look<br/>
to that cabin just over the creek.<br/>
Ah me, it was sad and evil and bad, two neighbors who never would speak!<br/>
I knew that full well like a devil in hell<br/>
he was hatching out, early and late,<br/>
A system to bear through the frost-spangled air<br/>
the warm, crimson waves of his hate.<br/>
I only could peer and shudder and fear—'twas ever so ghastly and still;<br/>
But I knew over there in his lonely despair<br/>
he was plotting me terrible ill.<br/>
I knew that he nursed a malice accurst,<br/>
like the blast of a winnowing flame;<br/>
I pleaded aloud for a shield, for a shroud—Oh, God! then calamity came.<br/>
<br/>
Mad! If I'm mad then you too are mad; but it's all in the point of view.<br/>
If you'd looked at them things gallivantin' on wings,<br/>
all purple and green and blue;<br/>
If you'd noticed them twist, as they mounted and hissed<br/>
like scorpions dim in the dark;<br/>
If you'd seen them rebound with a horrible sound,<br/>
and spitefully spitting a spark;<br/>
If you'd watched IT with dread, as it hissed by your bed,<br/>
that thing with the feelers that crawls—<br/>
You'd have settled the brute that attempted to shoot<br/>
electricity into your walls.<br/>
<br/>
Oh, some they were blue, and they slithered right through;<br/>
they were silent and squashy and round;<br/>
And some they were green; they were wriggly and lean;<br/>
they writhed with so hateful a sound.<br/>
My blood seemed to freeze; I fell on my knees;<br/>
my face was a white splash of dread.<br/>
Oh, the Green and the Blue, they were gruesome to view;<br/>
but the worst of them all were the Red.<br/>
They came through the door, they came through the floor,<br/>
they came through the moss-creviced logs.<br/>
They were savage and dire; they were whiskered with fire;<br/>
they bickered like malamute dogs.<br/>
They ravined in rings like iniquitous things;<br/>
they gulped down the Green and the Blue.<br/>
I crinkled with fear whene'er they drew near,<br/>
and nearer and nearer they drew.<br/>
<br/>
And then came the crown of Horror's grim crown,<br/>
the monster so loathsomely red.<br/>
Each eye was a pin that shot out and in, as, squidlike, it oozed to my bed;<br/>
So softly it crept with feelers that swept<br/>
and quivered like fine copper wire;<br/>
Its belly was white with a sulphurous light,<br/>
it jaws were a-drooling with fire.<br/>
It came and it came; I could breathe of its flame,<br/>
but never a wink could I look.<br/>
I thrust in its maw the Fount of the Law; I fended it off with the Book.<br/>
I was weak—oh, so weak—but I thrilled at its shriek,<br/>
as wildly it fled in the night;<br/>
And deathlike I lay till the dawn of the day.<br/>
(Was ever so welcome the light?)<br/>
<br/>
I loaded my gun at the rise of the sun; to his cabin so softly I slunk.<br/>
My neighbor was there in the frost-freighted air,<br/>
all wrapped in a robe in his bunk.<br/>
It muffled his moans; it outlined his bones, as feebly he twisted about;<br/>
His gums were so black, and his lips seemed to crack,<br/>
and his teeth all were loosening out.<br/>
'Twas a death's head that peered through the tangle of beard;<br/>
'twas a face I will never forget;<br/>
Sunk eyes full of woe, and they troubled me so<br/>
with their pleadings and anguish, and yet<br/>
As I rested my gaze in a misty amaze on the scurvy-degenerate wreck,<br/>
I thought of the Things with the dragon-fly wings,<br/>
then laid I my gun on his neck.<br/>
He gave out a cry that was faint as a sigh, like a perishing malamute,<br/>
And he says unto me, "I'm converted," says he;<br/>
"for Christ's sake, Peter, don't shoot!"<br/>
<br/></p>
<hr />
<p>They're taking me out with an escort about, and under a sergeant's care;<br/>
I am humbled indeed, for I'm 'cuffed to a Swede<br/>
that thinks he's a millionaire.<br/>
But it's all Gospel true what I'm telling to you—<br/>
up there where the Shadow falls—<br/>
That I settled Sam Noot when he started to shoot electricity into my walls.<br/></p>
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