<h2><SPAN name="chap28"></SPAN>CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT<br/> DOMESTIC EXPERIENCES</h2>
<p>Like most other young matrons, Meg began her married life with the
determination to be a model housekeeper. John should find home a paradise, he
should always see a smiling face, should fare sumptuously every day, and never
know the loss of a button. She brought so much love, energy, and cheerfulness
to the work that she could not but succeed, in spite of some obstacles. Her
paradise was not a tranquil one, for the little woman fussed, was over-anxious
to please, and bustled about like a true Martha, cumbered with many cares. She
was too tired, sometimes, even to smile, John grew dyspeptic after a course of
dainty dishes and ungratefully demanded plain fare. As for buttons, she soon
learned to wonder where they went, to shake her head over the carelessness of
men, and to threaten to make him sew them on himself, and see if his work would
stand impatient and clumsy fingers any better than hers.</p>
<p>They were very happy, even after they discovered that they couldn’t live
on love alone. John did not find Meg’s beauty diminished, though she
beamed at him from behind the familiar coffee pot. Nor did Meg miss any of the
romance from the daily parting, when her husband followed up his kiss with the
tender inquiry, “Shall I send some veal or mutton for dinner,
darling?” The little house ceased to be a glorified bower, but it became
a home, and the young couple soon felt that it was a change for the better. At
first they played keep-house, and frolicked over it like children. Then John
took steadily to business, feeling the cares of the head of a family upon his
shoulders, and Meg laid by her cambric wrappers, put on a big apron, and fell
to work, as before said, with more energy than discretion.</p>
<p>While the cooking mania lasted she went through Mrs. Cornelius’s Receipt
Book as if it were a mathematical exercise, working out the problems with
patience and care. Sometimes her family were invited in to help eat up a too
bounteous feast of successes, or Lotty would be privately dispatched with a
batch of failures, which were to be concealed from all eyes in the convenient
stomachs of the little Hummels. An evening with John over the account books
usually produced a temporary lull in the culinary enthusiasm, and a frugal fit
would ensue, during which the poor man was put through a course of bread
pudding, hash, and warmed-over coffee, which tried his soul, although he bore
it with praiseworthy fortitude. Before the golden mean was found, however, Meg
added to her domestic possessions what young couples seldom get on long
without, a family jar.</p>
<p>Fired with a housewifely wish to see her storeroom stocked with homemade
preserves, she undertook to put up her own currant jelly. John was requested to
order home a dozen or so of little pots and an extra quantity of sugar, for
their own currants were ripe and were to be attended to at once. As John firmly
believed that ‘my wife’ was equal to anything, and took a natural
pride in her skill, he resolved that she should be gratified, and their only
crop of fruit laid by in a most pleasing form for winter use. Home came four
dozen delightful little pots, half a barrel of sugar, and a small boy to pick
the currants for her. With her pretty hair tucked into a little cap, arms bared
to the elbow, and a checked apron which had a coquettish look in spite of the
bib, the young housewife fell to work, feeling no doubts about her success, for
hadn’t she seen Hannah do it hundreds of times? The array of pots rather
amazed her at first, but John was so fond of jelly, and the nice little jars
would look so well on the top shelf, that Meg resolved to fill them all, and
spent a long day picking, boiling, straining, and fussing over her jelly. She
did her best, she asked advice of Mrs. Cornelius, she racked her brain to
remember what Hannah did that she left undone, she reboiled, resugared, and
restrained, but that dreadful stuff wouldn’t ‘jell’.</p>
<p>She longed to run home, bib and all, and ask Mother to lend her a hand, but
John and she had agreed that they would never annoy anyone with their private
worries, experiments, or quarrels. They had laughed over that last word as if
the idea it suggested was a most preposterous one, but they had held to their
resolve, and whenever they could get on without help they did so, and no one
interfered, for Mrs. March had advised the plan. So Meg wrestled alone with the
refractory sweetmeats all that hot summer day, and at five o’clock sat
down in her topsy-turvey kitchen, wrung her bedaubed hands, lifted up her voice
and wept.</p>
<p>Now, in the first flush of the new life, she had often said, “My husband
shall always feel free to bring a friend home whenever he likes. I shall always
be prepared. There shall be no flurry, no scolding, no discomfort, but a neat
house, a cheerful wife, and a good dinner. John, dear, never stop to ask my
leave, invite whom you please, and be sure of a welcome from me.”</p>
<p>How charming that was, to be sure! John quite glowed with pride to hear her say
it, and felt what a blessed thing it was to have a superior wife. But, although
they had had company from time to time, it never happened to be unexpected, and
Meg had never had an opportunity to distinguish herself till now. It always
happens so in this vale of tears, there is an inevitability about such things
which we can only wonder at, deplore, and bear as we best can.</p>
<p>If John had not forgotten all about the jelly, it really would have been
unpardonable in him to choose that day, of all the days in the year, to bring a
friend home to dinner unexpectedly. Congratulating himself that a handsome
repast had been ordered that morning, feeling sure that it would be ready to
the minute, and indulging in pleasant anticipations of the charming effect it
would produce, when his pretty wife came running out to meet him, he escorted
his friend to his mansion, with the irrepressible satisfaction of a young host
and husband.</p>
<p>It is a world of disappointments, as John discovered when he reached the
Dovecote. The front door usually stood hospitably open. Now it was not only
shut, but locked, and yesterday’s mud still adorned the steps. The parlor
windows were closed and curtained, no picture of the pretty wife sewing on the
piazza, in white, with a distracting little bow in her hair, or a bright-eyed
hostess, smiling a shy welcome as she greeted her guest. Nothing of the sort,
for not a soul appeared but a sanginary-looking boy asleep under the current
bushes.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid something has happened. Step into the garden, Scott,
while I look up Mrs. Brooke,” said John, alarmed at the silence and
solitude.</p>
<p>Round the house he hurried, led by a pungent smell of burned sugar, and Mr.
Scott strolled after him, with a queer look on his face. He paused discreetly
at a distance when Brooke disappeared, but he could both see and hear, and
being a bachelor, enjoyed the prospect mightily.</p>
<p>In the kitchen reigned confusion and despair. One edition of jelly was trickled
from pot to pot, another lay upon the floor, and a third was burning gaily on
the stove. Lotty, with Teutonic phlegm, was calmly eating bread and currant
wine, for the jelly was still in a hopelessly liquid state, while Mrs. Brooke,
with her apron over her head, sat sobbing dismally.</p>
<p>“My dearest girl, what is the matter?” cried John, rushing in, with
awful visions of scalded hands, sudden news of affliction, and secret
consternation at the thought of the guest in the garden.</p>
<p>“Oh, John, I am so tired and hot and cross and worried! I’ve been
at it till I’m all worn out. Do come and help me or I shall die!”
and the exhausted housewife cast herself upon his breast, giving him a sweet
welcome in every sense of the word, for her pinafore had been baptized at the
same time as the floor.</p>
<p>“What worries you dear? Has anything dreadful happened?” asked the
anxious John, tenderly kissing the crown of the little cap, which was all
askew.</p>
<p>“Yes,” sobbed Meg despairingly.</p>
<p>“Tell me quick, then. Don’t cry. I can bear anything better than
that. Out with it, love.”</p>
<p>“The... The jelly won’t jell and I don’t know what to
do!”</p>
<p>John Brooke laughed then as he never dared to laugh afterward, and the derisive
Scott smiled involuntarily as he heard the hearty peal, which put the finishing
stroke to poor Meg’s woe.</p>
<p>“Is that all? Fling it out of the window, and don’t bother any more
about it. I’ll buy you quarts if you want it, but for heaven’s sake
don’t have hysterics, for I’ve brought Jack Scott home to dinner,
and...”</p>
<p>John got no further, for Meg cast him off, and clasped her hands with a tragic
gesture as she fell into a chair, exclaiming in a tone of mingled indignation,
reproach, and dismay...</p>
<p>“A man to dinner, and everything in a mess! John Brooke, how could you do
such a thing?”</p>
<p>“Hush, he’s in the garden! I forgot the confounded jelly, but it
can’t be helped now,” said John, surveying the prospect with an
anxious eye.</p>
<p>“You ought to have sent word, or told me this morning, and you ought to
have remembered how busy I was,” continued Meg petulantly, for even
turtledoves will peck when ruffled.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know it this morning, and there was no time to send word,
for I met him on the way out. I never thought of asking leave, when you have
always told me to do as I liked. I never tried it before, and hang me if I ever
do again!” added John, with an aggrieved air.</p>
<p>“I should hope not! Take him away at once. I can’t see him, and
there isn’t any dinner.”</p>
<p>“Well, I like that! Where’s the beef and vegetables I sent home,
and the pudding you promised?” cried John, rushing to the larder.</p>
<p>“I hadn’t time to cook anything. I meant to dine at Mother’s.
I’m sorry, but I was so busy,” and Meg’s tears began again.</p>
<p>John was a mild man, but he was human, and after a long day’s work to
come home tired, hungry, and hopeful, to find a chaotic house, an empty table,
and a cross wife was not exactly conducive to repose of mind or manner. He
restrained himself however, and the little squall would have blown over, but
for one unlucky word.</p>
<p>“It’s a scrape, I acknowledge, but if you will lend a hand,
we’ll pull through and have a good time yet. Don’t cry, dear, but
just exert yourself a bit, and fix us up something to eat. We’re both as
hungry as hunters, so we shan’t mind what it is. Give us the cold meat,
and bread and cheese. We won’t ask for jelly.”</p>
<p>He meant it to be a good-natured joke, but that one word sealed his fate. Meg
thought it was too cruel to hint about her sad failure, and the last atom of
patience vanished as he spoke.</p>
<p>“You must get yourself out of the scrape as you can. I’m too used
up to ‘exert’ myself for anyone. It’s like a man to propose a
bone and vulgar bread and cheese for company. I won’t have anything of
the sort in my house. Take that Scott up to Mother’s, and tell him
I’m away, sick, dead, anything. I won’t see him, and you two can
laugh at me and my jelly as much as you like. You won’t have anything
else here.” and having delivered her defiance all on one breath, Meg cast
away her pinafore and precipitately left the field to bemoan herself in her own
room.</p>
<p>What those two creatures did in her absence, she never knew, but Mr. Scott was
not taken ‘up to Mother’s’, and when Meg descended, after
they had strolled away together, she found traces of a promiscuous lunch which
filled her with horror. Lotty reported that they had eaten “a much, and
greatly laughed, and the master bid her throw away all the sweet stuff, and
hide the pots.”</p>
<p>Meg longed to go and tell Mother, but a sense of shame at her own
short-comings, of loyalty to John, “who might be cruel, but nobody should
know it,” restrained her, and after a summary cleaning up, she dressed
herself prettily, and sat down to wait for John to come and be forgiven.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, John didn’t come, not seeing the matter in that light. He
had carried it off as a good joke with Scott, excused his little wife as well
as he could, and played the host so hospitably that his friend enjoyed the
impromptu dinner, and promised to come again, but John was angry, though he did
not show it, he felt that Meg had deserted him in his hour of need. “It
wasn’t fair to tell a man to bring folks home any time, with perfect
freedom, and when he took you at your word, to flame up and blame him, and
leave him in the lurch, to be laughed at or pitied. No, by George, it
wasn’t! And Meg must know it.”</p>
<p>He had fumed inwardly during the feast, but when the flurry was over and he
strolled home after seeing Scott off, a milder mood came over him. “Poor
little thing! It was hard upon her when she tried so heartily to please me. She
was wrong, of course, but then she was young. I must be patient and teach
her.” He hoped she had not gone home—he hated gossip and
interference. For a minute he was ruffled again at the mere thought of it, and
then the fear that Meg would cry herself sick softened his heart, and sent him
on at a quicker pace, resolving to be calm and kind, but firm, quite firm, and
show her where she had failed in her duty to her spouse.</p>
<p>Meg likewise resolved to be ‘calm and kind, but firm’, and show him
his duty. She longed to run to meet him, and beg pardon, and be kissed and
comforted, as she was sure of being, but, of course, she did nothing of the
sort, and when she saw John coming, began to hum quite naturally, as she rocked
and sewed, like a lady of leisure in her best parlor.</p>
<p>John was a little disappointed not to find a tender Niobe, but feeling that his
dignity demanded the first apology, he made none, only came leisurely in and
laid himself upon the sofa with the singularly relevant remark, “We are
going to have a new moon, my dear.”</p>
<p>“I’ve no objection,” was Meg’s equally soothing remark.
A few other topics of general interest were introduced by Mr. Brooke and
wet-blanketed by Mrs. Brooke, and conversation languished. John went to one
window, unfolded his paper, and wrapped himself in it, figuratively speaking.
Meg went to the other window, and sewed as if new rosettes for slippers were
among the necessaries of life. Neither spoke. Both looked quite ‘calm and
firm’, and both felt desperately uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“Oh, dear,” thought Meg, “married life is very trying, and
does need infinite patience as well as love, as Mother says.” The word
‘Mother’ suggested other maternal counsels given long ago, and
received with unbelieving protests.</p>
<p>“John is a good man, but he has his faults, and you must learn to see and
bear with them, remembering your own. He is very decided, but never will be
obstinate, if you reason kindly, not oppose impatiently. He is very accurate,
and particular about the truth—a good trait, though you call him
‘fussy’. Never deceive him by look or word, Meg, and he will give
you the confidence you deserve, the support you need. He has a temper, not like
ours—one flash and then all over—but the white, still anger that is
seldom stirred, but once kindled is hard to quench. Be careful, be very
careful, not to wake his anger against yourself, for peace and happiness depend
on keeping his respect. Watch yourself, be the first to ask pardon if you both
err, and guard against the little piques, misunderstandings, and hasty words
that often pave the way for bitter sorrow and regret.”</p>
<p>These words came back to Meg, as she sat sewing in the sunset, especially the
last. This was the first serious disagreement, her own hasty speeches sounded
both silly and unkind, as she recalled them, her own anger looked childish now,
and thoughts of poor John coming home to such a scene quite melted her heart.
She glanced at him with tears in her eyes, but he did not see them. She put
down her work and got up, thinking, “I will be the first to say,
‘Forgive me’”, but he did not seem to hear her. She went very
slowly across the room, for pride was hard to swallow, and stood by him, but he
did not turn his head. For a minute she felt as if she really couldn’t do
it, then came the thought, “This is the beginning. I’ll do my part,
and have nothing to reproach myself with,” and stooping down, she softly
kissed her husband on the forehead. Of course that settled it. The penitent
kiss was better than a world of words, and John had her on his knee in a
minute, saying tenderly...</p>
<p>“It was too bad to laugh at the poor little jelly pots. Forgive me, dear.
I never will again!”</p>
<p>But he did, oh bless you, yes, hundreds of times, and so did Meg, both
declaring that it was the sweetest jelly they ever made, for family peace was
preserved in that little family jar.</p>
<p>After this, Meg had Mr. Scott to dinner by special invitation, and served him
up a pleasant feast without a cooked wife for the first course, on which
occasion she was so gay and gracious, and made everything go off so charmingly,
that Mr. Scott told John he was a lucky fellow, and shook his head over the
hardships of bachelorhood all the way home.</p>
<p>In the autumn, new trials and experiences came to Meg. Sallie Moffat renewed
her friendship, was always running out for a dish of gossip at the little
house, or inviting ‘that poor dear’ to come in and spend the day at
the big house. It was pleasant, for in dull weather Meg often felt lonely. All
were busy at home, John absent till night, and nothing to do but sew, or read,
or potter about. So it naturally fell out that Meg got into the way of gadding
and gossiping with her friend. Seeing Sallie’s pretty things made her
long for such, and pity herself because she had not got them. Sallie was very
kind, and often offered her the coveted trifles, but Meg declined them, knowing
that John wouldn’t like it, and then this foolish little woman went and
did what John disliked even worse.</p>
<p>She knew her husband’s income, and she loved to feel that he trusted her,
not only with his happiness, but what some men seem to value more—his
money. She knew where it was, was free to take what she liked, and all he asked
was that she should keep account of every penny, pay bills once a month, and
remember that she was a poor man’s wife. Till now she had done well, been
prudent and exact, kept her little account books neatly, and showed them to him
monthly without fear. But that autumn the serpent got into Meg’s
paradise, and tempted her like many a modern Eve, not with apples, but with
dress. Meg didn’t like to be pitied and made to feel poor. It irritated
her, but she was ashamed to confess it, and now and then she tried to console
herself by buying something pretty, so that Sallie needn’t think she had
to economize. She always felt wicked after it, for the pretty things were
seldom necessaries, but then they cost so little, it wasn’t worth
worrying about, so the trifles increased unconsciously, and in the shopping
excursions she was no longer a passive looker-on.</p>
<p>But the trifles cost more than one would imagine, and when she cast up her
accounts at the end of the month the sum total rather scared her. John was busy
that month and left the bills to her, the next month he was absent, but the
third he had a grand quarterly settling up, and Meg never forgot it. A few days
before she had done a dreadful thing, and it weighed upon her conscience.
Sallie had been buying silks, and Meg longed for a new one, just a handsome
light one for parties, her black silk was so common, and thin things for
evening wear were only proper for girls. Aunt March usually gave the sisters a
present of twenty-five dollars apiece at New Year’s. That was only a
month to wait, and here was a lovely violet silk going at a bargain, and she
had the money, if she only dared to take it. John always said what was his was
hers, but would he think it right to spend not only the prospective
five-and-twenty, but another five-and-twenty out of the household fund? That
was the question. Sallie had urged her to do it, had offered to lend the money,
and with the best intentions in life had tempted Meg beyond her strength. In an
evil moment the shopman held up the lovely, shimmering folds, and said,
“A bargain, I assure, you, ma’am.” She answered,
“I’ll take it,” and it was cut off and paid for, and Sallie
had exulted, and she had laughed as if it were a thing of no consequence, and
driven away, feeling as if she had stolen something, and the police were after
her.</p>
<p>When she got home, she tried to assuage the pangs of remorse by spreading forth
the lovely silk, but it looked less silvery now, didn’t become her, after
all, and the words ‘fifty dollars’ seemed stamped like a pattern
down each breadth. She put it away, but it haunted her, not delightfully as a
new dress should, but dreadfully like the ghost of a folly that was not easily
laid. When John got out his books that night, Meg’s heart sank, and for
the first time in her married life, she was afraid of her husband. The kind,
brown eyes looked as if they could be stern, and though he was unusually merry,
she fancied he had found her out, but didn’t mean to let her know it. The
house bills were all paid, the books all in order. John had praised her, and
was undoing the old pocketbook which they called the ‘bank’, when
Meg, knowing that it was quite empty, stopped his hand, saying nervously...</p>
<p>“You haven’t seen my private expense book yet.”</p>
<p>John never asked to see it, but she always insisted on his doing so, and used
to enjoy his masculine amazement at the queer things women wanted, and made him
guess what piping was, demand fiercely the meaning of a hug-me-tight, or wonder
how a little thing composed of three rosebuds, a bit of velvet, and a pair of
strings, could possibly be a bonnet, and cost six dollars. That night he looked
as if he would like the fun of quizzing her figures and pretending to be
horrified at her extravagance, as he often did, being particularly proud of his
prudent wife.</p>
<p>The little book was brought slowly out and laid down before him. Meg got behind
his chair under pretense of smoothing the wrinkles out of his tired forehead,
and standing there, she said, with her panic increasing with every word...</p>
<p>“John, dear, I’m ashamed to show you my book, for I’ve really
been dreadfully extravagant lately. I go about so much I must have things, you
know, and Sallie advised my getting it, so I did, and my New Year’s money
will partly pay for it, but I was sorry after I had done it, for I knew
you’d think it wrong in me.”</p>
<p>John laughed, and drew her round beside him, saying goodhumoredly,
“Don’t go and hide. I won’t beat you if you have got a pair
of killing boots. I’m rather proud of my wife’s feet, and
don’t mind if she does pay eight or nine dollars for her boots, if they
are good ones.”</p>
<p>That had been one of her last ‘trifles’, and John’s eye had
fallen on it as he spoke. “Oh, what will he say when he comes to that
awful fifty dollars!” thought Meg, with a shiver.</p>
<p>“It’s worse than boots, it’s a silk dress,” she said,
with the calmness of desperation, for she wanted the worst over.</p>
<p>“Well, dear, what is the ‘dem’d total’, as Mr.
Mantalini says?”</p>
<p>That didn’t sound like John, and she knew he was looking up at her with
the straightforward look that she had always been ready to meet and answer with
one as frank till now. She turned the page and her head at the same time,
pointing to the sum which would have been bad enough without the fifty, but
which was appalling to her with that added. For a minute the room was very
still, then John said slowly—but she could feel it cost him an effort to
express no displeasure—. . .</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t know that fifty is much for a dress, with all the
furbelows and notions you have to have to finish it off these days.”</p>
<p>“It isn’t made or trimmed,” sighed Meg, faintly, for a sudden
recollection of the cost still to be incurred quite overwhelmed her.</p>
<p>“Twenty-five yards of silk seems a good deal to cover one small woman,
but I’ve no doubt my wife will look as fine as Ned Moffat’s when
she gets it on,” said John dryly.</p>
<p>“I know you are angry, John, but I can’t help it. I don’t
mean to waste your money, and I didn’t think those little things would
count up so. I can’t resist them when I see Sallie buying all she wants,
and pitying me because I don’t. I try to be contented, but it is hard,
and I’m tired of being poor.”</p>
<p>The last words were spoken so low she thought he did not hear them, but he did,
and they wounded him deeply, for he had denied himself many pleasures for
Meg’s sake. She could have bitten her tongue out the minute she had said
it, for John pushed the books away and got up, saying with a little quiver in
his voice, “I was afraid of this. I do my best, Meg.” If he had
scolded her, or even shaken her, it would not have broken her heart like those
few words. She ran to him and held him close, crying, with repentant tears,
“Oh, John, my dear, kind, hard-working boy. I didn’t mean it! It
was so wicked, so untrue and ungrateful, how could I say it! Oh, how could I
say it!”</p>
<p>He was very kind, forgave her readily, and did not utter one reproach, but Meg
knew that she had done and said a thing which would not be forgotten soon,
although he might never allude to it again. She had promised to love him for
better or worse, and then she, his wife, had reproached him with his poverty,
after spending his earnings recklessly. It was dreadful, and the worst of it
was John went on so quietly afterward, just as if nothing had happened, except
that he stayed in town later, and worked at night when she had gone to cry
herself to sleep. A week of remorse nearly made Meg sick, and the discovery
that John had countermanded the order for his new greatcoat reduced her to a
state of despair which was pathetic to behold. He had simply said, in answer to
her surprised inquiries as to the change, “I can’t afford it, my
dear.”</p>
<p>Meg said no more, but a few minutes after he found her in the hall with her
face buried in the old greatcoat, crying as if her heart would break.</p>
<p>They had a long talk that night, and Meg learned to love her husband better for
his poverty, because it seemed to have made a man of him, given him the
strength and courage to fight his own way, and taught him a tender patience
with which to bear and comfort the natural longings and failures of those he
loved.</p>
<p>Next day she put her pride in her pocket, went to Sallie, told the truth, and
asked her to buy the silk as a favor. The good-natured Mrs. Moffat willingly
did so, and had the delicacy not to make her a present of it immediately
afterward. Then Meg ordered home the greatcoat, and when John arrived, she put
it on, and asked him how he liked her new silk gown. One can imagine what
answer he made, how he received his present, and what a blissful state of
things ensued. John came home early, Meg gadded no more, and that greatcoat was
put on in the morning by a very happy husband, and taken off at night by a most
devoted little wife. So the year rolled round, and at midsummer there came to
Meg a new experience, the deepest and tenderest of a woman’s life.</p>
<p>Laurie came sneaking into the kitchen of the Dovecote one Saturday, with an
excited face, and was received with the clash of cymbals, for Hannah clapped
her hands with a saucepan in one and the cover in the other.</p>
<p>“How’s the little mamma? Where is everybody? Why didn’t you
tell me before I came home?” began Laurie in a loud whisper.</p>
<p>“Happy as a queen, the dear! Every soul of ’em is upstairs a
worshipin’. We didn’t want no hurrycanes round. Now you go into the
parlor, and I’ll send ’em down to you,” with which somewhat
involved reply Hannah vanished, chuckling ecstatically.</p>
<p>Presently Jo appeared, proudly bearing a flannel bundle laid forth upon a large
pillow. Jo’s face was very sober, but her eyes twinkled, and there was an
odd sound in her voice of repressed emotion of some sort.</p>
<p>“Shut your eyes and hold out your arms,” she said invitingly.</p>
<p>Laurie backed precipitately into a corner, and put his hands behind him with an
imploring gesture. “No, thank you. I’d rather not. I shall drop it
or smash it, as sure as fate.”</p>
<p>“Then you shan’t see your nevvy,” said Jo decidedly, turning
as if to go.</p>
<p>“I will, I will! Only you must be responsible for damages.” and
obeying orders, Laurie heroically shut his eyes while something was put into
his arms. A peal of laughter from Jo, Amy, Mrs. March, Hannah, and John caused
him to open them the next minute, to find himself invested with two babies
instead of one.</p>
<p>No wonder they laughed, for the expression of his face was droll enough to
convulse a Quaker, as he stood and stared wildly from the unconscious innocents
to the hilarious spectators with such dismay that Jo sat down on the floor and
screamed.</p>
<p>“Twins, by Jupiter!” was all he said for a minute, then turning to
the women with an appealing look that was comically piteous, he added,
“Take ’em quick, somebody! I’m going to laugh, and I shall
drop ’em.”</p>
<p>Jo rescued his babies, and marched up and down, with one on each arm, as if
already initiated into the mysteries of babytending, while Laurie laughed till
the tears ran down his cheeks.</p>
<p>“It’s the best joke of the season, isn’t it? I wouldn’t
have told you, for I set my heart on surprising you, and I flatter myself
I’ve done it,” said Jo, when she got her breath.</p>
<p>“I never was more staggered in my life. Isn’t it fun? Are they
boys? What are you going to name them? Let’s have another look. Hold me
up, Jo, for upon my life it’s one too many for me,” returned
Laurie, regarding the infants with the air of a big, benevolent Newfoundland
looking at a pair of infantile kittens.</p>
<p>“Boy and girl. Aren’t they beauties?” said the proud papa,
beaming upon the little red squirmers as if they were unfledged angels.</p>
<p>“Most remarkable children I ever saw. Which is which?” and Laurie
bent like a well-sweep to examine the prodigies.</p>
<p>“Amy put a blue ribbon on the boy and a pink on the girl, French fashion,
so you can always tell. Besides, one has blue eyes and one brown. Kiss them,
Uncle Teddy,” said wicked Jo.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid they mightn’t like it,” began Laurie, with
unusual timidity in such matters.</p>
<p>“Of course they will, they are used to it now. Do it this minute,
sir!” commanded Jo, fearing he might propose a proxy.</p>
<p>Laurie screwed up his face and obeyed with a gingerly peck at each little cheek
that produced another laugh, and made the babies squeal.</p>
<p>“There, I knew they didn’t like it! That’s the boy, see him
kick, he hits out with his fists like a good one. Now then, young Brooke, pitch
into a man of your own size, will you?” cried Laurie, delighted with a
poke in the face from a tiny fist, flapping aimlessly about.</p>
<p>“He’s to be named John Laurence, and the girl Margaret, after
mother and grandmother. We shall call her Daisey, so as not to have two Megs,
and I suppose the mannie will be Jack, unless we find a better name,”
said Amy, with aunt-like interest.</p>
<p>“Name him Demijohn, and call him Demi for short,” said Laurie.</p>
<p>“Daisy and Demi, just the thing! I knew Teddy would do it,” cried
Jo clapping her hands.</p>
<p>Teddy certainly had done it that time, for the babies were ‘Daisy’
and ‘Demi’ to the end of the chapter.</p>
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