<h2>XI</h2>
<h3>The Lemon Pie and the Monkey-Wrench</h3>
<div class="figleft"> <ANTIMG src="images/e.png" width-obs="101" height-obs="100" alt="E" title="E" /></div>
<div class='p2'>VALINA SMITH was a morbid young person who loved to dabble in the
supernatural. Her taste in literature was for Edgar A. Poe. In religion
she inclined toward spiritualism. Her favorite amusement was to gather a
few shuddering friends about her, turn out the gas, and tell ghost
stories. She had an extensive repertoire of ghoulish incidents, that
were not fiction but the actual experience of people she knew. She had
even had one or two spiritual adventures herself; and she would set
forth the details with wide eyes and lowered voice, while her auditors
held one another's hands and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_274" id="Page_274"></SPAN></span> shivered. The circle in which Evalina
moved had not much sense of humor.</div>
<p>One Saturday evening St. Ursula's School was in an unusually social
mood. Evalina was holding a ghost party in her room in the East Wing;
Nancy Lee had invited her ten dearest friends to a birthday spread in
Center; the European History class was celebrating the completion of the
Thirty-Years War by a molasses-candy pull in the kitchen; and Kid McCoy
was conducting a potato race down the length of the South Corridor—the
entrance fee a postage stamp, the prize sealed up in a large bandbox and
warranted to be worth a quarter.</p>
<p>Patty, who was popular, had been invited to all four of the functions.
She had declined Nancy's spread, because Mae Van Arsdale, her particular
enemy, was invited; but had accepted the other invitations, and was
busily spending the evening as an itinerant guest.</p>
<p>She carried her potato, insecurely balanced on a teaspoon, over one
table and under another, through a hoop suspended from the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_275" id="Page_275"></SPAN></span> ceiling, and
deposited it in the wastebasket at the end of the corridor, in exactly
two minutes and forty-seven seconds. (Kid McCoy had a stop-watch.) This
was far ahead of anyone else's record, and Patty lingered hopefully a
few minutes in the neighborhood of the bandbox; but a fresh inrush of
entries postponed the bestowal of the prize, so she left the judges to
settle the question at their leisure, and drifted on to Evalina's room.</p>
<p>She found it dark, except for the fitful blue flare of alcohol and salt
burning in a fudge pan. The guests were squatting about on sofa
cushions, looking decidedly spotty in the unbecoming light. Patty
silently dropped down on a vacant cushion, and lent polite attention to
Evalina, who at the moment held the floor.</p>
<p>"Well, you know, I had a very remarkable experience myself last summer.
Happening to visit a spiritualist camp, I attended a materializing
séance."</p>
<p>"What's that?" asked Rosalie Patton.</p>
<p>"A séance in which spirits appear to mediums in the material form they
occupied dur<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_276" id="Page_276"></SPAN></span>ing life," Evalina condescendingly explained. Rosalie was
merely an invited guest. She did not belong to the inner cult.</p>
<p>"Oh!" said Rosalie, vaguely enlightened.</p>
<p>"I didn't really expect anything to happen," Evalina continued, "and I
was just thinking how foolish I was to have wasted that dollar, when the
medium shut her eyes and commenced to tremble. She said she saw the
spirit of a beautiful young girl who had passed over five years before.
The girl was dressed in white and her clothes were dripping wet, and she
carried in her hand a monkey-wrench."</p>
<p>"A monkey-wrench!" cried Patty. "What on earth—"</p>
<p>"I don't know any more than you do," said Evalina impatiently. "I'm just
telling what happened. The Medium couldn't get her full name, but she
said her first name commenced with 'S.' And instantly, it came over me
that it was my Cousin Susan who fell into a well and was drowned. I
hadn't thought of her for years, but the description answered perfectly.
And I asked the me<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_277" id="Page_277"></SPAN></span>dium, and after a little, she said yes, it was Susan,
and that she had come to send me a warning."</p>
<p>Evalina allowed an impressive pause to follow, while her auditors leaned
forward in strained attention.</p>
<p>"A warning!" breathed Florence Hissop.</p>
<p>"Yes. She told me never to eat lemon pie."</p>
<p>Patty choked with sudden laughter. Evalina cast her a look and went on.</p>
<p>"The medium shivered again and came out of the trance, and she couldn't
remember a thing she had said! When I told her about the monkey-wrench
and the lemon pie, she was just as much puzzled as I was. She said that
the messages that came from the spirit world were often inexplicable;
though they might seem to deal with trivial things, yet in reality they
contained a deep and hidden truth. Probably some day I would have an
enemy who would try to poison me with lemon pie, and I must never, on
<i>any</i> account, taste it again."</p>
<p>"And haven't you?" Patty asked.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_278" id="Page_278"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>"Never," said Evalina sadly.</p>
<p>Patty composed her features into an expression of scientific inquiry.</p>
<p>"Do you think the medium told the truth?"</p>
<p>"I've never had any cause to doubt it."</p>
<p>"Then you really believe in ghosts?"</p>
<p>"In spirits?" Evalina amended gently. "Many strange things happen that
cannot be explained in any other manner."</p>
<p>"What would you do if her spirit should appear to you? Would you be
scared?"</p>
<p>"Certainly not!" said Evalina, with dignity. "I was very fond of Cousin
Susan. I have no cause to fear her spirit."</p>
<p>The smell of boiling molasses penetrated from below; Patty excused
herself and turned toward the kitchen. The spiritual heights on which
Evalina dwelt, she found a trifle too rare for ordinary breathing.</p>
<p>The candy was on the point of being poured into pans.</p>
<p>"Here, Patty!" Priscilla ordered, "you haven't done any work. Run down
to the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_279" id="Page_279"></SPAN></span> storeroom and get some butter to keep our hands from sticking."</p>
<p>Patty obligingly accompanied the cook to the cellar, with not a thought
in the world beyond butter. On a shelf in the storeroom stood
to-morrow's dessert—a row of fifteen lemon pies, with neatly decorated
tops of white meringue. As Patty looked at them, she was suddenly
assailed by a wicked temptation; she struggled with it for a moment of
sanity, but in the end she fell. While Nora's head was bent over the
butter tub, Patty opened the window and deftly plumped a pie through the
iron grating onto the ledge without. By the time Nora raised her head,
the window was shut again, and Patty was innocently translating the
label on a bottle of olive oil.</p>
<p>As they pulled their candy in a secluded corner of the kitchen, Patty
hilariously confided her plan to Conny and Priscilla. Conny was always
game for whatever mischief was afoot, but Priscilla sometimes needed
urging. She was—most inconveniently—beginning<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_280" id="Page_280"></SPAN></span> to develop a moral
nature, and the other two, who as yet were comfortably un-moral,
occasionally found her difficult to coerce.</p>
<p>Priscilla finally lent a grudging consent, while Conny enthusiastically
volunteered to acquire a monkey-wrench. Being captain of sports, she
could manage the matter better than Patty. On a flying visit to the
stables, ostensibly to consult with Martin as to a re-marking of the
tennis courts, she singled out from his tool bench the monkey-wrench of
her choice, casually covered it with her sweater, and safely bore it
away. She and Patty conveyed their booty by devious secret ways to
Paradise Alley. A great many alarms were given on the passage, a great
deal of muffled giggling ensued, but finally the monkey-wrench and the
pie—slightly damaged as to its meringue top, but still distinctly
recognizable as lemon—were safely cached under Patty's bed to await
their part in the night's adventure.</p>
<p>"Lights-out" as usual, rang at nine-thirty, but it rang to deaf ears. A
spirit of restless festivity was abroad. The little girls in the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_281" id="Page_281"></SPAN></span> "Baby
Ward" larked about the halls in a pillow fight, until they were sternly
ordered to bed by the Dowager herself. It was close to ten o'clock when
the candy-pullers washed their sticky hands and turned upstairs.</p>
<p>Patty found a delegation of potato racers waiting with the news that she
had won the prize. An interested crowd gathered to watch her open the
box; it contained a tin funeral wreath that had been displayed that
winter in the window of the village undertaker—Kid had bought it cheap,
owing to fly specks that would not rub off. The wreath was hoisted on
the end of a shinny stick and marched through the corridor to the tune
of "John Brown's Body," while Mademoiselle ineffectually wrung her hands
and begged for quiet.</p>
<p>"<i>Mes chères enfantes</i>—it is ten o'clock. <i>Soyez tranquilles.</i>
Patty—<i>Mon Dieu</i>—How you are bad! Margarite McCoy, you do not listen
to me? <i>Nous verrons!</i> Go to your room, dis in-stant! You do not belong
in my hall. Children! I implore. Go to bed—all—<i>tout de suite!</i>"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_282" id="Page_282"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>The procession cheered and marched on, until Miss Lord descended from
the East and commanded silence. Miss Lord when incensed was effectual.
The peace of conquest settled for a time over Paradise Alley, and she
returned to her own camp. But a fresh hub-bub broke out, when it was
discovered that someone had sprinkled granulated sugar, in liberal
quantities, through every bed in the Alley. Patty and Conny would have
been suspected, had their own sheets not yielded a plentiful harvest. It
was another half hour before the beds were remade, and the school
finally composed to sleep.</p>
<p>When the teacher on duty had made her last rounds, and everything was
quiet, Patty turned back the covers of her bed and cautiously stepped to
the floor. She was still fully clothed, except that she had changed her
shoes for softer soled bedroom slippers, better fitted for nocturnal
adventures. Priscilla and Conny joined her. Fortunately a full moon
shone high in the sky, and they needed no artificial light. Aided by her
two assistants, Patty draped the sheets of her bed<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_283" id="Page_283"></SPAN></span> about her into two
voluminous wings, and fastened them securely with safety pins. A pillow
slip was pulled over her head and the corners tied into ears. They
hesitated a moment with scissors suspended.</p>
<p>"Hurry up and cut a nose," Patty whispered. "I'm smothering!"</p>
<p>"It seems sort of too bad to spoil a perfectly good pillow slip," said
Priscilla, with a slight access of conscience.</p>
<p>"I'll drop some money in the missionary box," Patty promised.</p>
<p>The nose and eyes were cut; a grinning mouth and devilishly curved
eyebrows were added with burnt cork. The pillow slip was tied firmly
about her neck to allow no chance of slipping, the ears waved
lopsidedly; she was the most amazing specter that ever left a
respectable grave.</p>
<p>These preparations had occupied some time. It was already ten minutes of
twelve.</p>
<p>"I'll wait till the stroke of midnight," said Patty. "Then I'll flutter
into Evalina's room, and wave my wings, and whisper, 'Come!' The
monkey-wrench and the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_284" id="Page_284"></SPAN></span> pie, I'll leave on the foot of her bed, so she'll
know she wasn't dreaming."</p>
<p>"What if she screams?" asked Priscilla.</p>
<p>"She won't scream. She loves ghosts—especially Cousin Susan. She said
to-night she'd be glad to meet her."</p>
<p>"But what if she does scream?" persisted Priscilla.</p>
<p>"Oh, that's easy! I'll dash back and pop into bed. Before anybody wakes,
I'll be sound asleep."</p>
<p>They made a reconnoitering excursion into the empty corridors to make
sure that all was quiet. Only regular breathing issued from open doors.
Evalina fortunately lived in a single, but unfortunately, it was at the
extreme end of the East Wing in the opposite corner of the building from
Patty's own domicile. Conny and Priscilla, in bedroom slippers and
kimonos, tiptoed after Patty as she took her flight down the length of
the Alley. She sailed back and forth and waved her wings in the
moonlight that streamed through the skylight in the central hall. The
two spectators clung together and shiv<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_285" id="Page_285"></SPAN></span>ered delightedly. In spite of
having been behind the scenes and assisted at the make-up, they received
a distinct sensation—what it would be to one suddenly wakened from
sleep, to a believer in ghosts, they were a bit apprehensive to
consider. At the entrance to the East Wing, they handed Patty her pie
and monkey-wrench, and retreated to their own neighborhood. In case of
an uproar, they did not wish to be discovered too far from home.</p>
<p>Patty flitted on down the corridor, past yawning doors, into Evalina's
room, where she took up a central position in a patch of moonlight. A
few sepulchral "Comes!" brought no response. Evalina was a sound
sleeper.</p>
<div class="figleft"> <ANTIMG src="images/300-ill.jpg" width-obs="310" height-obs="400" alt="Evalina sat up and clutched the bedclothes about her neck" title="Evalina sat up and clutched the bedclothes about her neck" /> <span class="caption">Evalina sat up and clutched the bedclothes about her neck</span></div>
<p>Patty shook the foot of the bed. The sleeper stirred slightly but slept
on. This was annoying. The ghost had no mind to make noise enough to
disturb the neighbors. She laid the pie and the monkey-wrench on the
counterpane, and shook the bed again, with the insistence of an
earthquake. As she was endeavoring to resume her proper<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_286" id="Page_286"></SPAN></span>ties, Evalina
sat up and clutched the bed clothes about her neck with a frenzied jerk.
Patty just had time to save the pie—the monkey-wrench went to the floor
with a crash; and the crash, to Patty's startled senses, was echoed and
intensified from far down the hall. She had no chance to wave her wings
or murmur, "Come." Evalina did not wait for her cue. She opened her
mouth as wide as it would open, and emitted shriek after shriek of such
ear-splitting intensity, that Patty, for a moment, was too aghast to
move. Then, still hugging the pie in her arms, she turned and ran.</p>
<p>To her consternation the cries were answered ahead. The whole house
seemed to be awake and shrieking. She could hear doors banging and
frightened voices demanding the cause of the tumult. She was making a
quick dash for her own room, trusting to the confusion and darkness to
make good her escape, when Miss Lord, gaily attired in a flowered
bath-robe, appeared at the end of the corridor. Patty was headed
straight<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_287" id="Page_287"></SPAN></span> for her arms. With a gasp of terror, she turned back toward
the shrieking Evalina.</p>
<p>She realized by now that she was in a trap.</p>
<p>A narrow passage led from the East Wing to the servants' quarters. She
dived into this. If she could reach the back stairs it would mean
safety. She pushed the door open a crack, and to her horror, was
confronted by a worse uproar. The servants' quarters were in a state of
panic. She saw Maggie dashing past, wrapped in a pink striped blanket,
while above the general confusion rose Norah's rich brogue:</p>
<p>"Help! Murther! I seen a bur-r-gu-lar!"</p>
<p>She shut the door and shrank back into the passage. Behind her Evalina
was still hysterically wailing:</p>
<p>"I saw a ghost! I saw a ghost!"</p>
<p>Before her the cry of "Burglars!" was growing louder.</p>
<p>Utterly bewildered at this double demonstration, Patty flattened herself
against the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_288" id="Page_288"></SPAN></span> wall in the friendly darkness of the passage, while she
soulfully thanked Heaven that the proposed electric lights had not yet
been installed. A dozen voices were calling for matches, but no one
seemed to find any. She pantingly tugged at the pillowcase fastened
about her neck; but Conny had tied it firmly with a white hair ribbon,
and the knot was behind. In any case, even if she could remove her
masquerade, she was lost if they found her; for she was still wearing
the white dress of the evening, and not even Patty's imagination could
compass an excuse for that at twelve o'clock at night.</p>
<p>The search was growing nearer; she caught the glimmer of a light ahead.
At any moment they might open the door of the passage. The linen closet
was the only refuge at hand—and that was very temporary. She felt for
the door handle and slipped inside. If she could find a pile of sheets,
she might dive to the bottom and hope to escape notice, being mostly
sheet herself. But it was Saturday, and all the linen had gone down. A
long, slippery, inclined<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_289" id="Page_289"></SPAN></span> chute connected the room with the laundry in
the basement two floors below. Steps were already audible in the
passage. She heard Miss Lord's voice say:</p>
<p>"Bring a light! We'll search the linen closet."</p>
<p>Patty did not hesitate. In imagination she could already feel the
pressure of Miss Lord's grasp upon her shoulder. A broken neck was
preferable.</p>
<p>Still hugging the lemon pie—in all her excitement she had clasped it
firmly—she climbed into the chute, stretched her feet out straight in
front, and pushed off. For two breathless seconds she dashed through
space, then her feet hit the trap door at the bottom, and she shot into
the laundry.</p>
<p>One instant earlier, the door from the kitchen stairs had cautiously
opened, and a man had darted into the laundry. He had just had time to
cast a glance of boundless relief about the empty, moonlit room, when
Patty and the pie catapulted against him. They went down together in a
whirl of waving wings. Patty being on top picked her<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_290" id="Page_290"></SPAN></span>self up first. She
still clutched her pie—at least what was left of it; the white meringue
was spread over the man's hair and face; but the lemon part was still
intact. The man sat up dazedly, rubbed the meringue from his eyes, cast
one look at his assailant, and staggered to his feet. He flattened
himself against the wall with arms thrown wide for support.</p>
<p>"Holy gee!" he choked. "What in hell uv I got into?"</p>
<p>Patty excused his language, as he did not appear to know that he was
addressing a lady. He seemed to be laboring under the impression that
she was the devil.</p>
<p>Her pillow slip by now was very much askew; one ear pointed northward,
the other southeast, and she could only see out of one eye. It was very
hot inside and she was gasping for breath. For a palpitating moment they
merely stared and panted. Then Patty's mind began to work.</p>
<p>"I suppose," she suggested, "you are the burglar they are screaming
about?"</p>
<p>The man leaned back limply and stared,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_291" id="Page_291"></SPAN></span> his wide, frightened eyes
shining through a fringe of meringue.</p>
<p>"I," said Patty, completing the introduction, "am the ghost."</p>
<p>He muttered something under his breath. She could not make out whether
he was praying or swearing.</p>
<p>"Don't be afraid," she added kindly. "I won't hurt you."</p>
<p>"Is it a bloomin' insane asylum?"</p>
<p>"Just a girl's school."</p>
<p>"Gosh!" he observed.</p>
<p>"Hush!" said Patty. "They're coming this way now!"</p>
<p>The sound of running feet became audible in the kitchen above, while
bass voices were added to the shrill soprano that had sounded the former
tocsin. The men had arrived from the stables. The burglar and the ghost
regarded each other for a moment of suspended breathing; their mutual
danger drew them together. Patty hesitated an instant, while she studied
his face as it showed through the interstices of the meringue. He had
honest blue eyes and yellow curls. She<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_292" id="Page_292"></SPAN></span> suddenly stretched out a hand
and grasped him by an elbow.</p>
<p>"Quick! They'll be here in a minute. I know a place to hide. Come with
me."</p>
<p>She pushed him unresisting down a passage and into a storeroom, boarded
off from the main cellar, where the scenery of the dramatic society was
kept.</p>
<p>"Get down on your hands and knees and follow me," she ordered, as she
stooped low and dived behind a pile of canvas.</p>
<p>The man crawled after. They emerged at the farther end into a small
recess behind some canvas trees. Patty sat on a stump and offered a
wooden rock to her companion.</p>
<p>"They'll never think of looking here," she whispered. "Martin's too fat
to crawl through."</p>
<p>A small barred window let in some faint moonlight and they had an
opportunity to study each other more at leisure. The man did not yet
seem comfortable in Patty's presence; he was occupying the farthest
possible corner of his rock. Presently he rubbed his coat sleeve over
his head and looked long<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_293" id="Page_293"></SPAN></span> and earnestly at the meringue. He was
evidently at a loss to identify the substance; in the rush of events he
had taken no note of the pie.</p>
<p>Patty brought her one eye to bear down upon him.</p>
<p>"I'm simply melting!" she whispered. "Do you think you could untie that
knot?"</p>
<p>She bent her head and presented the back of her neck.</p>
<p>The man by now was partially reassured as to the humanness of his
companion, and he obediently worked at the knot but with hands that
trembled. At last it came loose, and Patty with a sigh of relief emerged
into the open. Her hair was somewhat tousled and her face was streaked
with burnt cork, but her blue eyes were as honest as his own. The sight
reassured him.</p>
<p>"Gee!" he muttered in a wave of relief.</p>
<p>"Keep still!" Patty warned.</p>
<p>The hunt was growing nearer. There was the sound of tramping feet in the
laundry and they could hear the men talking.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_294" id="Page_294"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>"A ghost and a burglar!" said Martin, in fine scorn. "That's a likely
combination, ain't it now?"</p>
<p>They made an obligatory and superficial search through the coal cellar.
Martin jocularly inquiring:</p>
<p>"Did ye look in the furnace, Mike? Here Osaki, me lad, ye're small. Take
a crawl oop the poipes and see if the ghost ain't hidin' there."</p>
<p>They opened the door of the property-room and glanced inside. The
burglar ducked his head and held his breath, while Patty struggled with
an ill-timed desire to giggle. Martin was in a facetious mood. He
whistled in the manner of calling a dog.</p>
<p>"Here, Ghostie! Here, Burgie! Come here, old fellow!"</p>
<p>They banged the door shut and their footsteps receded. Patty was rocking
back and forth in a species of hysterics, stuffing the corner of the
sheet into her mouth to keep from laughing audibly. The burglar's teeth
were chattering.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_295" id="Page_295"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>"Lord!" he breathed. "It may be funny for you, Miss. But it means the
penitentiary for me."</p>
<p>Patty interrupted her hysterics and regarded him with disgust.</p>
<p>"It would mean expulsion for me, or at least something awfully
unpleasant. But that's no reason for going all to pieces. You're a nice
sort of a burglar! Brace up and be a sport!"</p>
<p>He mopped his brow and removed another portion of icing.</p>
<p>"You must be an awful amateur to break into a house like this," she said
contemptuously. "Don't you know the silver's plated?"</p>
<p>"I didn't know nuthin' about it," he said sullenly. "I see the window
open over the shed roof and I clum up. I was hungry and was lookin' for
somethin' to eat. I ain't had nothin' since yesterday mornin'."</p>
<p>Patty reached to the floor beside her.</p>
<p>"Have some pie."</p>
<p>The man ducked aside as it was poked at him.</p>
<p>"W-what's that?" he gasped.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_296" id="Page_296"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>He was as nervous as a mouse in a cage.</p>
<p>"Lemon pie. It looks a little messy but it's all right. The only thing
the matter with it is that it has lost its meringue top. That's mostly
on your head. The rest of it is spread over me and the laundry floor and
Evalina Smith's bed and the clothes chute."</p>
<p>"Oh!" he murmured in evident relief, as he rubbed his hand over his hair
for the fourth time. "I was wonderin' what the blame stuff was."</p>
<p>"But the lemon's all here," she urged. "You'd better eat it. It's quite
nourishing, I believe."</p>
<p>He accepted the pie and fell to eating it with an eagerness that carried
out the truth of his assertion as to yesterday's breakfast.</p>
<p>Patty watched him, her natural curiosity struggling with her acquired
politeness. The curiosity triumphed.</p>
<p>"Do you mind telling me how you came to be a burglar? You make such a
remarkably bad one, that I should think you would have chosen almost any
other profession."<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_297" id="Page_297"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>He told his story between bites. To one more experienced in police
records, it might have sounded a trifle fishy, but he had an honest face
and blue eyes, and it never entered her head to doubt him. The burglar
commenced it sullenly; no one had ever believed him yet and he wasn't
expecting her to. He would like to have invented something a little more
plausible, but he lacked the imagination to tell a convincing lie. So,
as usual, he lamely told the truth.</p>
<p>Patty listened with strained attention. His tale was somewhat muffled by
lemon pie, and his vocabulary did not always coincide with her own, but
she managed to get the gist of it.</p>
<p>By rights he was a gardener. In the last place where he worked he used
to sleep in the attic, because the gentleman he was away a lot, and the
lady she was afraid not to have a man in the house. And a gas-fitter,
that he had always thought was his friend, give him some beer one night
and got him drunk, and took away the key of the back door. And while he
(the gardener) was<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_298" id="Page_298"></SPAN></span> sound asleep on the children's sand pile under the
apple tree in the back yard, the gas-fitter entered the house and stole
an overcoat and a silver coffee-pot and a box of cigars and a bottle of
whisky and two umbrellas. And they proved it on him (the gardener) and
he was sent up for two years. And when he come out, no one wouldn't give
him no work.</p>
<p>"An' ye can't make me believe," he added bitterly, "that that beer
wasn't doped!"</p>
<p>"Oh, but it was terrible of you to get drunk!" said Patty, shocked.</p>
<p>"'Twas an accident," he insisted.</p>
<p>"If you are <i>sure</i> that you'll never do it again," she said, "I'll get
you a job. But you must promise, on your word of honor as a gentleman.
You know I couldn't recommend a drunkard."</p>
<p>The man grinned feebly.</p>
<p>"I guess ye'll not be findin' anybody that will be wantin' a jailbird."</p>
<p>"Oh, yes, I will! I know exactly the man. He's a friend of mine, and he
likes jailbirds. He realizes that it's only luck that<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_299" id="Page_299"></SPAN></span> made him a
millionaire instead of a convict. He always gives a man a chance to
start again. He used to have a murderer in charge of his greenhouses,
and a cattle thief to milk the cows. I'm sure he'll like you. Come with
me, and I'll write you a letter of introduction."</p>
<p>Patty gathered her sheets about her and prepared to crawl out.</p>
<p>"What are ye doin'?" he demanded quickly. "Y' aren't goin' to hand me
over?"</p>
<p>"Is it likely?" She regarded him with scorn. "How could I hand you over,
without handing myself over at the same time?"</p>
<p>The logic of this appealed to him, and he followed meekly on hands and
knees. She approached the laundry door and listened warily; the search
had withdrawn to other quarters. She led the way along a passage and up
a flight of stairs and slipped into the deserted kindergarten room.</p>
<p>"We're safe here," she whispered. "They've already searched it."</p>
<p>She cast about for writing materials. No<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_300" id="Page_300"></SPAN></span> ink was to be found, but she
discovered a red crayon pencil, and tore a sheet of paper from a copy
book. "Honesty is the best policy," was inscribed in flowing characters
at the top.</p>
<p>She hesitated with her crayon poised.</p>
<p>"If I get you a nice job in charge of onions and orchids and things,
will you promise never again to drink any beer?"</p>
<p>"Sure," he agreed, but without much enthusiasm.</p>
<p>There was a light of uneasiness in his eye. Nothing in his past
experience tallied with to-night's adventure; and he suspected an
ambush.</p>
<p>"Because," said Patty, "it would be awfully embarrassing for me if you
did get drunk. I should never dare recommend another burglar."</p>
<p>She wrote her note on the window ledge, by moonlight, and read it aloud:</p>
<div class="blockquot">"<i>Dear Mr. Weatherby</i>,—<br/>
<p>"Do you remember the conversation we had the day I
ran away and dropped into your onion garden? You
said you thought criminals were often<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_301" id="Page_301"></SPAN></span> quite as
good as the rest of us, and that you would find a
job for any convict friend I might present. This
is to introduce a burglar of my acquaintance who
would like to secure a position as gardener. He
was trained to be a gardener and much prefers it
to burglaring, but finds it difficult to find a
place because he has been in prison. He is
faithful, honest and industrious, and promises to
be sober. I shall appreciate any favor you may
show him. </p>
<div class='right'>
<span style="margin-right: 6em;">"Sincerely yours,</span><br/>
<span class="smcap">"Patty Wyatt</span>."<br/></div>
<p>"P. S.—Please excuse this red crayon. I am
writing at midnight, by moonlight in the
kindergarten room, and the ink's all locked up.
The burglar will explain the circumstances, which
are too complicated to write. </p>
<div class='right'>
<span style="margin-right: 4em;">"Yours ever,<br/></span>
"P. W."<br/></div>
</div>
<p>She enclosed her note in a large manila envelope that had contained
weaving mats, and addressed it to Silas Weatherby, Esq. The man received
it gingerly. He seemed to think that it might go off.</p>
<p>"What's the matter?" said Patty. "Are you afraid of it?"</p>
<p>"Ye're sure," he asked suspiciously, "that Silas Weatherby ain't a
cop?"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_302" id="Page_302"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>"He's a railroad president."</p>
<p>"Oh!" The burglar looked relieved.</p>
<p>Patty unlocked the window, then paused for a final moral lecture.</p>
<p>"I am giving you a chance to begin again. If you are game, and present
this letter, you'll get a job. If you're a coward, and don't dare
present it, you can keep on being a burglar for the rest of your life
for all I care—and a mighty poor one you'll make!"</p>
<p>She opened the window and waved her hand invitingly toward the outside
world.</p>
<p>"Good-by, Miss," he said.</p>
<p>"Good-by," said Patty cordially. "And good luck!"</p>
<p>He paused, half in, half out, for a last reassurance.</p>
<p>"Ye're sure it's on the straight, Miss? Y' ain't pitchin' me no curve?"</p>
<p>"It's on the straight." She pledged her word. "I ain't pitchin' you no
curve."</p>
<p>Patty crept upstairs the back way, and by a wide detour avoided the
excited crowd still gathered in the East Wing. A fresh hub<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_303" id="Page_303"></SPAN></span>-bub had
arisen, for Evalina Smith had found a monkey-wrench on the floor of her
room. It was shown to the scoffing Martin as visible proof that the
burglar had been there.</p>
<p>"An it's me own wrench!" he cried in wide-eyed amazement. "Now, what do
ye think of his nerve?"</p>
<p>Patty hurriedly undressed and tumbled into a kimono. Sleepily rubbing
her eyes, she joined the assemblage in the hall.</p>
<p>"What's happened?" she asked, blinking at the lights. "Has there been a
fire?"</p>
<p>A chorus of laughter greeted the question.</p>
<p>"It's a burglar!" said Conny, exhibiting the wrench.</p>
<p>"Oh, <i>why</i> didn't you wake me?" Patty wailed. "I've wanted all my life
to see a burglar."</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>Two weeks later, a groom arrived on horseback with a polite note for the
Dowager.</p>
<p>Mr. Weatherby presented his compliments to Mrs. Trent, and desired the
pleasure of<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_304" id="Page_304"></SPAN></span> showing the young ladies of the Senior class through his
art gallery on Friday next at four o'clock.</p>
<p>The Dowager was at a loss to account for this gratuitous courtesy on the
part of her hitherto unneighborly neighbor. After a moment of
deliberation, she decided to meet him half way; and the groom rode back
with an equally polite acceptance.</p>
<p>On Friday next, as the school hearse turned in at the gates of Weatherby
Hall, the owner stood on the portico waiting to welcome his guests. If
there were a shade more <i>empressement</i> in his greeting to Patty than to
her companions, the Dowager did not notice it.</p>
<p>He made an exceptionally attentive host. In person he conducted them
through the gallery and pointed out the famous Botticelli. Tea was
served at little tables set on the western terrace. Each girl found a
gardenia at her plate and a silver bonbonnière with the St. Ursula
monogram on the cover. After tea their host suggested a visit to the
Italian garden. As they strolled through the paths,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_305" id="Page_305"></SPAN></span> Patty found herself
walking beside him and the Dowager. His conversation was addressed to
Mrs. Trent, but an occasional amused glance was directed toward Patty.
They turned a corner behind a marble pavilion, and came upon a fountain
and a gardener man, intent upon a border of maiden-hair ferns.</p>
<p>"I have a very remarkable new Swedish gardener," Mr. Weatherby casually
remarked to the Dowager. "The man is a genius at making plants grow. He
came highly recommended. Oscar!" he called. "Bring the ladies some of
those tulips."</p>
<p>The man dropped his watering-can, and approached, hat in hand. He was a
golden-haired, blue-eyed young chap with an honest smile. He presented
his flowers, first to the elder lady and then to Patty. As he caught her
interested gaze, a light of comprehension suddenly leaped to his eyes.
Her costume and make-up to-day were so very dissimilar to those which
she had assumed on the occasion of their first meeting, that recognition
on his part had not been instantaneous.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_306" id="Page_306"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>Patty fell back a step to receive her flowers and the others strolled
on.</p>
<p>"I have to thank ye, Miss," he said gratefully, "for the finest job I
ever had. It's all right!"</p>
<p>"You know now," Patty laughed, "that I didn't pitch you no curves?"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_307" id="Page_307"></SPAN></span><br/>
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_308" id="Page_308"></SPAN></span><br/>
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_309" id="Page_309"></SPAN></span></p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />