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<h2> CHAPTER XXXIX </h2>
<p>SHE wondered all the way home what her sensations would be. She wondered
about it so much that she had every sensation she had imagined. She was
excited by each familiar porch, each hearty "Well, well!" and flattered to
be, for a day, the most important news of the community. She bustled
about, making calls. Juanita Haydock bubbled over their Washington
encounter, and took Carol to her social bosom. This ancient opponent
seemed likely to be her most intimate friend, for Vida Sherwin, though she
was cordial, stood back and watched for imported heresies.</p>
<p>In the evening Carol went to the mill. The mystical Om-Om-Om of the
dynamos in the electric-light plant behind the mill was louder in the
darkness. Outside sat the night watchman, Champ Perry. He held up his
stringy hands and squeaked, "We've all missed you terrible."</p>
<p>Who in Washington would miss her?</p>
<p>Who in Washington could be depended upon like Guy Pollock? When she saw
him on the street, smiling as always, he seemed an eternal thing, a part
of her own self.</p>
<p>After a week she decided that she was neither glad nor sorry to be back.
She entered each day with the matter-of-fact attitude with which she had
gone to her office in Washington. It was her task; there would be
mechanical details and meaningless talk; what of it?</p>
<p>The only problem which she had approached with emotion proved
insignificant. She had, on the train, worked herself up to such devotion
that she was willing to give up her own room, to try to share all of her
life with Kennicott.</p>
<p>He mumbled, ten minutes after she had entered the house, "Say, I've kept
your room for you like it was. I've kind of come round to your way of
thinking. Don't see why folks need to get on each other's nerves just
because they're friendly. Darned if I haven't got so I like a little
privacy and mulling things over by myself."</p>
<p>II</p>
<p>She had left a city which sat up nights to talk of universal transition;
of European revolution, guild socialism, free verse. She had fancied that
all the world was changing.</p>
<p>She found that it was not.</p>
<p>In Gopher Prairie the only ardent new topics were prohibition, the place
in Minneapolis where you could get whisky at thirteen dollars a quart,
recipes for home-made beer, the "high cost of living," the presidential
election, Clark's new car, and not very novel foibles of Cy Bogart. Their
problems were exactly what they had been two years ago, what they had been
twenty years ago, and what they would be for twenty years to come. With
the world a possible volcano, the husbandmen were plowing at the base of
the mountain. A volcano does occasionally drop a river of lava on even the
best of agriculturists, to their astonishment and considerable injury, but
their cousins inherit the farms and a year or two later go back to the
plowing.</p>
<p>She was unable to rhapsodize much over the seven new bungalows and the two
garages which Kennicott had made to seem so important. Her intensest
thought about them was, "Oh yes, they're all right I suppose." The change
which she did heed was the erection of the schoolbuilding, with its
cheerful brick walls, broad windows, gymnasium, classrooms for agriculture
and cooking. It indicated Vida's triumph, and it stirred her to activity—any
activity. She went to Vida with a jaunty, "I think I shall work for you.
And I'll begin at the bottom."</p>
<p>She did. She relieved the attendant at the rest-room for an hour a day.
Her only innovation was painting the pine table a black and orange rather
shocking to the Thanatopsis. She talked to the farmwives and soothed their
babies and was happy.</p>
<p>Thinking of them she did not think of the ugliness of Main Street as she
hurried along it to the chatter of the Jolly Seventeen.</p>
<p>She wore her eye-glasses on the street now. She was beginning to ask
Kennicott and Juanita if she didn't look young, much younger than
thirty-three. The eye-glasses pinched her nose. She considered spectacles.
They would make her seem older, and hopelessly settled. No! She would not
wear spectacles yet. But she tried on a pair at Kennicott's office. They
really were much more comfortable.</p>
<p>III</p>
<p>Dr. Westlake, Sam Clark, Nat Hicks, and Del Snafflin were talking in Del's
barber shop.</p>
<p>"Well, I see Kennicott's wife is taking a whirl at the rest-room, now,"
said Dr. Westlake. He emphasized the "now."</p>
<p>Del interrupted the shaving of Sam and, with his brush dripping lather, he
observed jocularly:</p>
<p>"What'll she be up to next? They say she used to claim this burg wasn't
swell enough for a city girl like her, and would we please tax ourselves
about thirty-seven point nine and fix it all up pretty, with tidies on the
hydrants and statoos on the lawns——"</p>
<p>Sam irritably blew the lather from his lips, with milky small bubbles, and
snorted, "Be a good thing for most of us roughnecks if we did have a smart
woman to tell us how to fix up the town. Just as much to her kicking as
there was to Jim Blausser's gassing about factories. And you can bet Mrs.
Kennicott is smart, even if she is skittish. Glad to see her back."</p>
<p>Dr. Westlake hastened to play safe. "So was I! So was I! She's got a nice
way about her, and she knows a good deal about books, or fiction anyway.
Of course she's like all the rest of these women—not solidly founded—not
scholarly—doesn't know anything about political economy—falls
for every new idea that some windjamming crank puts out. But she's a nice
woman. She'll probably fix up the rest-room, and the rest-room is a fine
thing, brings a lot of business to town. And now that Mrs. Kennicott's
been away, maybe she's got over some of her fool ideas. Maybe she realizes
that folks simply laugh at her when she tries to tell us how to run
everything."</p>
<p>"Sure. She'll take a tumble to herself," said Nat Hicks, sucking in his
lips judicially. "As far as I'm concerned, I'll say she's as nice a
looking skirt as there is in town. But yow!" His tone electrified them.
"Guess she'll miss that Swede Valborg that used to work for me! They was a
pair! Talking poetry and moonshine! If they could of got away with it,
they'd of been so darn lovey-dovey——"</p>
<p>Sam Clark interrupted, "Rats, they never even thought about making love,
Just talking books and all that junk. I tell you, Carrie Kennicott's a
smart woman, and these smart educated women all get funny ideas, but they
get over 'em after they've had three or four kids. You'll see her settled
down one of these days, and teaching Sunday School and helping at
sociables and behaving herself, and not trying to butt into business and
politics. Sure!"</p>
<p>After only fifteen minutes of conference on her stockings, her son, her
separate bedroom, her music, her ancient interest in Guy Pollock, her
probable salary in Washington, and every remark which she was known to
have made since her return, the supreme council decided that they would
permit Carol Kennicott to live, and they passed on to a consideration of
Nat Hicks's New One about the traveling salesman and the old maid.</p>
<p>IV</p>
<p>For some reason which was totally mysterious to Carol, Maud Dyer seemed to
resent her return. At the Jolly Seventeen Maud giggled nervously, "Well, I
suppose you found war-work a good excuse to stay away and have a swell
time. Juanita! Don't you think we ought to make Carrie tell us about the
officers she met in Washington?"</p>
<p>They rustled and stared. Carol looked at them. Their curiosity seemed
natural and unimportant.</p>
<p>"Oh yes, yes indeed, have to do that some day," she yawned.</p>
<p>She no longer took Aunt Bessie Smail seriously enough to struggle for
independence. She saw that Aunt Bessie did not mean to intrude; that she
wanted to do things for all the Kennicotts. Thus Carol hit upon the
tragedy of old age, which is not that it is less vigorous than youth, but
that it is not needed by youth; that its love and prosy sageness, so
important a few years ago, so gladly offered now, are rejected with
laughter. She divined that when Aunt Bessie came in with a jar of
wild-grape jelly she was waiting in hope of being asked for the recipe.
After that she could be irritated but she could not be depressed by Aunt
Bessie's simoom of questioning.</p>
<p>She wasn't depressed even when she heard Mrs. Bogart observe, "Now we've
got prohibition it seems to me that the next problem of the country ain't
so much abolishing cigarettes as it is to make folks observe the Sabbath
and arrest these law-breakers that play baseball and go to the movies and
all on the Lord's Day."</p>
<p>Only one thing bruised Carol's vanity. Few people asked her about
Washington. They who had most admiringly begged Percy Bresnahan for his
opinions were least interested in her facts. She laughed at herself when
she saw that she had expected to be at once a heretic and a returned hero;
she was very reasonable and merry about it; and it hurt just as much as
ever.</p>
<p>Her baby, born in August, was a girl. Carol could not decide whether she
was to become a feminist leader or marry a scientist or both, but did
settle on Vassar and a tricolette suit with a small black hat for her
Freshman year.</p>
<p>VI</p>
<p>Hugh was loquacious at breakfast. He desired to give his impressions of
owls and F Street.</p>
<p>"Don't make so much noise. You talk too much," growled Kennicott.</p>
<p>Carol flared. "Don't speak to him that way! Why don't you listen to him?
He has some very interesting things to tell."</p>
<p>"What's the idea? Mean to say you expect me to spend all my time listening
to his chatter?"</p>
<p>"Why not?"</p>
<p>"For one thing, he's got to learn a little discipline. Time for him to
start getting educated."</p>
<p>"I've learned much more discipline, I've had much more education, from him
than he has from me."</p>
<p>"What's this? Some new-fangled idea of raising kids you got in
Washington?"</p>
<p>"Perhaps. Did you ever realize that children are people?"</p>
<p>"That's all right. I'm not going to have him monopolizing the
conversation."</p>
<p>"No, of course. We have our rights, too. But I'm going to bring him up as
a human being. He has just as many thoughts as we have, and I want him to
develop them, not take Gopher Prairie's version of them. That's my biggest
work now—keeping myself, keeping you, from 'educating' him."</p>
<p>"Well, let's not scrap about it. But I'm not going to have him spoiled."</p>
<p>Kennicott had forgotten it in ten minutes; and she forgot it—this
time.</p>
<p>VII</p>
<p>The Kennicotts and the Sam Clarks had driven north to a duck-pass between
two lakes, on an autumn day of blue and copper.</p>
<p>Kennicott had given her a light twenty-gauge shotgun. She had a first
lesson in shooting, in keeping her eyes open, not wincing, understanding
that the bead at the end of the barrel really had something to do with
pointing the gun. She was radiant; she almost believed Sam when he
insisted that it was she who had shot the mallard at which they had fired
together.</p>
<p>She sat on the bank of the reedy lake and found rest in Mrs. Clark's
drawling comments on nothing. The brown dusk was still. Behind them were
dark marshes. The plowed acres smelled fresh. The lake was garnet and
silver. The voices of the men, waiting for the last flight, were clear in
the cool air.</p>
<p>"Mark left!" sang Kennicott, in a long-drawn call.</p>
<p>Three ducks were swooping down in a swift line. The guns banged, and a
duck fluttered. The men pushed their light boat out on the burnished lake,
disappeared beyond the reeds. Their cheerful voices and the slow splash
and clank of oars came back to Carol from the dimness. In the sky a fiery
plain sloped down to a serene harbor. It dissolved; the lake was white
marble; and Kennicott was crying, "Well, old lady, how about hiking out
for home? Supper taste pretty good, eh?"</p>
<p>"I'll sit back with Ethel," she said, at the car.</p>
<p>It was the first time she had called Mrs. Clark by her given name; the
first time she had willingly sat back, a woman of Main Street.</p>
<p>"I'm hungry. It's good to be hungry," she reflected, as they drove away.</p>
<p>She looked across the silent fields to the west. She was conscious of an
unbroken sweep of land to the Rockies, to Alaska, a dominion which will
rise to unexampled greatness when other empires have grown senile. Before
that time, she knew, a hundred generations of Carols will aspire and go
down in tragedy devoid of palls and solemn chanting, the humdrum
inevitable tragedy of struggle against inertia.</p>
<p>"Let's all go to the movies tomorrow night. Awfully exciting film," said
Ethel Clark.</p>
<p>"Well, I was going to read a new book but——All right, let's
go," said Carol.</p>
<p>VIII</p>
<p>"They're too much for me," Carol sighed to Kennicott. "I've been thinking
about getting up an annual Community Day, when the whole town would forget
feuds and go out and have sports and a picnic and a dance. But Bert Tybee
(why did you ever elect him mayor?)—he's kidnapped my idea. He wants
the Community Day, but he wants to have some politician 'give an address.'
That's just the stilted sort of thing I've tried to avoid. He asked Vida,
and of course she agreed with him."</p>
<p>Kennicott considered the matter while he wound the clock and they tramped
up-stairs.</p>
<p>"Yes, it would jar you to have Bert butting in," he said amiably. "Are you
going to do much fussing over this Community stunt? Don't you ever get
tired of fretting and stewing and experimenting?"</p>
<p>"I haven't even started. Look!" She led him to the nursery door, pointed
at the fuzzy brown head of her daughter. "Do you see that object on the
pillow? Do you know what it is? It's a bomb to blow up smugness. If you
Tories were wise, you wouldn't arrest anarchists; you'd arrest all these
children while they're asleep in their cribs. Think what that baby will
see and meddle with before she dies in the year 2000! She may see an
industrial union of the whole world, she may see aeroplanes going to
Mars."</p>
<p>"Yump, probably be changes all right," yawned Kennicott.</p>
<p>She sat on the edge of his bed while he hunted through his bureau for a
collar which ought to be there and persistently wasn't.</p>
<p>"I'll go on, always. And I am happy. But this Community Day makes me see
how thoroughly I'm beaten."</p>
<p>"That darn collar certainly is gone for keeps," muttered Kennicott and,
louder, "Yes, I guess you——I didn't quite catch what you said,
dear."</p>
<p>She patted his pillows, turned down his sheets, as she reflected:</p>
<p>"But I have won in this: I've never excused my failures by sneering at my
aspirations, by pretending to have gone beyond them. I do not admit that
Main Street is as beautiful as it should be! I do not admit that Gopher
Prairie is greater or more generous than Europe! I do not admit that
dish-washing is enough to satisfy all women! I may not have fought the
good fight, but I have kept the faith."</p>
<p>"Sure. You bet you have," said Kennicott. "Well, good night. Sort of feels
to me like it might snow tomorrow. Have to be thinking about putting up
the storm-windows pretty soon. Say, did you notice whether the girl put
that screwdriver back?"</p>
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