<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></SPAN>CHAPTER III.</h2>
<h3>DESCRIPTION OF THE TOWN KEBA.</h3>
<p>During the course of my education, my landlord
frequently carried me about the town, and
pointed out the most remarkable things. Keba
is the town next in size and importance to the
capital of the kingdom of Potu. The inhabitants
are distinguished for their sedateness and
moderation; old age is more respected by them
than by any other community. They are
strangely addicted to the pitting of animals
against each other; or, as they call it, "play
fight." I wondered that so moral a people could<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_22" id="Page_22"></SPAN></span>
enjoy these brutal sports. My landlord noticed
my surprise, and said, that throughout the kingdom
it was the custom to vary their lives with
a due mixture of earnest duties and amusing
pleasures. Theatrical plays are very much in
vogue with them. I was vexed, however, to
hear that disputations are reckoned suitable for
the stage, while with us they are confined to the
universities.</p>
<p>At certain times in the year, disputants are
set against each other, as we pit dogs and game
cocks. High bets are made in favor of one or
the other, and a premium is given to the winner.</p>
<p>Beside these disputants, who are called Masbakki,
or boxers, various quadrupeds, wild as
well as tame, are trained to fight as on our globe.</p>
<p>In this town a gymnasium is established, in
which the liberal arts are taught with much success.</p>
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<p>My landlord carried me, on a high festival day,
to this academy. On this occasion a Madic, or
teacher in philosophy, was elected. The candidate
made a very prosy speech on some philosophical
question, after which, without farther<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_23" id="Page_23"></SPAN></span>
ceremony, he was entered, by the administrators,
on the list of the public teachers.</p>
<p>On our way home from the academy, we met
a criminal, led by three watchmen. By sentence
of the kaki, he had been bled, and was
now on his way to the city hospital. I inquired
concerning his crime, and was answered, that
he had publicly lectured on the being and qualities
of God—a subject entirely forbidden in this
country. Disputants on these matters are regarded
as insane, and are always sent to the
mad-house, where they are doctored, until they
recover their sound reason. I exclaimed: Heaven
and Earth! how would such laws operate on
our globe, where thousands of priests quarrel
every day about the divine attributes, the nature
of spirits, and other secrets of the same character?
Truly, here they would all be sent straight-way
to the mad-house. These, among many
other singular customs, I observed during my
college life. Finally, the time came when,
furnished with appropriate testimonies from the
teachers, I was ordered to court. Here is my
certificate. How angry and confused, was I,
when I read it:<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_24" id="Page_24"></SPAN></span>—</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>"In accordance with your royal order, we
hereby send the animal, which sometime since
came down to us from the firmament; which animal
calls itself man. We have, with sedulous care
and patient industry, taught this singular creature
in our school, and after a very severe examination,
pronounce it to be very quick in its perceptions
and very docile in its manners. Nevertheless,
from its obtuse and miserable judgment—which
we believe arises from its too hasty inferences—its
ridiculous scepticism on unquestionable points,
and its no less ridiculous credulity on doubtful
ones, we may scarcely number it among sensible
beings. However, as it is far quicker on its
legs than any of our race, we humbly suggest,
that it is very well adapted for the situation of a
running-camp-footman. Written at our Seminary
at Keba by your Highness' most humble
servants.</p>
<p class='indent'><span class="smcap">Nehek, Joktan, Rapasi, Kilak.</span>"</p>
</div>
<p>I returned sorrowfully to my landlord, and
begged of him with tears in my eyes, to use his
influence to alter the nature of my certificate
from the Karatti, and to show them my testimony
from the academy of Copenhagen, in which
I was represented as a remarkable student. He
replied to me, "that this diploma might be well<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_25" id="Page_25"></SPAN></span>
enough in Copenhagen, where probably the
shadow was regarded more than the substance:
the bark more than the sap; but here, where the
kernel was more important than aught else, it
was of no use."</p>
<p>He counselled me to bear my fate with patience,
and assured me, in the politest manner,
of his friendship. Having nothing more to say,
I made ready, without delay, for the journey.
There travelled in company with me several
small trees, which had been educated with me
in the seminary, and were now destined to the
capital for preferment.</p>
<p>Our leader was an old Karatti, who rode on
an ox, because from his age he could not walk.
Our progress was very slow, so that three days
were occupied in our passage. We had a quick
and comfortable jaunt, if I except the meeting
with some wild monkeys, that would spring towards
me, and pester me now and then. They
evidently supposed me to be one of their race.
I could not suppress my anger, however, when
I observed that the trees seemed to perceive this
mistake of the monkeys, which gave the saplings
food for laughter at my expense. I must<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_26" id="Page_26"></SPAN></span>
remark that I was carried to court in the same
dress which I wore on my descent to the planet,
with the boat-hook in my hand and the rope
dragging after me. This was by order of the
king, who wished to see me in my own bark.</p>
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