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<h1> THE CONFESSION </h1>
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<h2> By Mary Roberts Rinehart </h2>
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<h3> Contents </h3>
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<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0001"> I </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0002"> II </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0003"> III </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0004"> IV </SPAN></p>
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<h2> I </h2>
<p>I am not a susceptible woman. I am objective rather than subjective, and a
fairly full experience of life has taught me that most of my impressions
are from within out rather than the other way about. For instance,
obsession at one time a few years ago of a shadowy figure on my right,
just beyond the field of vision, was later exposed as the result of a
defect in my glasses. In the same way Maggie, my old servant, was during
one entire summer haunted by church-bells and considered it a personal
summons to eternity until it was shown to be in her inner ear.</p>
<p>Yet the Benton house undeniably made me uncomfortable. Perhaps it was
because it had remained unchanged for so long. The old horsehair chairs,
with their shiny mahogany frames, showed by the slightly worn places in
the carpet before them that they had not deviated an inch from their
position for many years. The carpets—carpets that reached to the
very baseboards and gave under one's feet with the yielding of heavy
padding beneath—were bright under beds and wardrobes, while in the
centers of the rooms they had faded into the softness of old tapestry.</p>
<p>Maggie, I remember, on our arrival moved a chair from the wall in the
library, and immediately put it back again, with a glance to see if I had
observed her.</p>
<p>"It's nice and clean, Miss Agnes," she said. "A—I kind of feel that
a little dirt would make it more homelike."</p>
<p>"I'm sure I don't see why," I replied, rather sharply, "I've lived in a
tolerably clean house most of my life."</p>
<p>Maggie, however, was digging a heel into the padded carpet. She had chosen
a sunny place for the experiment, and a small cloud of dust rose like
smoke.</p>
<p>"Germs!" she said. "Just what I expected. We'd better bring the vacuum
cleaner out from the city, Miss Agnes. Them carpets haven't been lifted
for years."</p>
<p>But I paid little attention to her. To Maggie any particle of matter not
otherwise classified is a germ, and the prospect of finding dust in that
immaculate house was sufficiently thrilling to tide over the strangeness
of our first few hours in it.</p>
<p>Once a year I rent a house in the country. When my nephew and niece were
children, I did it to take them out of the city during school vacations.
Later, when they grew up, it was to be near the country club. But now,
with the children married and new families coming along, we were more
concerned with dairies than with clubs, and I inquired more carefully
about the neighborhood cows than about the neighborhood golf-links. I had
really selected the house at Benton Station because there was a most
alluring pasture, with a brook running through it, and violets over the
banks. It seemed to me that no cow with a conscience could live in those
surroundings and give colicky milk.</p>
<p>Then, the house was cheap. Unbelievably cheap. I suspected sewerage at
once, but it seemed to be in the best possible order. Indeed, new plumbing
had been put in, and extra bathrooms installed. As old Miss Emily Benton
lived there alone, with only an old couple to look after her, it looked
odd to see three bathrooms, two of them new, on the second floor. Big tubs
and showers, although little old Miss Emily could have bathed in the
washbowl and have had room to spare.</p>
<p>I faced the agent downstairs in the parlor, after I had gone over the
house. Miss Emily Benton had not appeared and I took it she was away.</p>
<p>"Why all those bathrooms?" I demanded. "Does she use them in rotation?"</p>
<p>He shrugged his shoulders.</p>
<p>"She wished to rent the house, Miss Blakiston. The old-fashioned plumbing—"</p>
<p>"But she is giving the house away," I exclaimed. "Those bathrooms have
cost much more than she will get out of it. You and I know that the price
is absurd."</p>
<p>He smiled at that. "If you wish to pay more, you may, of course. She is a
fine woman, Miss Blakiston, but you can never measure a Benton with any
yard-stick but their own. The truth is that she wants the house off her
hands this summer. I don't know why. It's a good house, and she has lived
here all her life. But my instructions, I'll tell you frankly, are to rent
it, if I have to give it away."</p>
<p>With which absurd sentence we went out the front door, and I saw the
pasture, which decided me.</p>
<p>In view of the fact that I had taken the house for my grandnieces and
nephews, it was annoying to find, by the end of June, that I should have
to live in it by myself. Willie's boy was having his teeth straightened,
and must make daily visits to the dentist, and Jack went to California and
took Gertrude and the boys with him.</p>
<p>The first curious thing happened then. I wrote to the agent, saying that I
would not use the house, but enclosing a check for its rental, as I had
signed the lease. To my surprise, I received in reply a note from Miss
Emily herself, very carefully written on thin note-paper.</p>
<p>Although it was years since I had seen her, the exquisite neatness of the
letter, its careful paragraphing, its margins so accurate as to give the
impression that she had drawn a faint margin line with a lead pencil and
then erased it—all these were as indicative of Emily Benton as—well,
as the letter was not.</p>
<p>As well as I can explain it, the letter was impulsive, almost urgent. Yet
the little old lady I remembered was neither of these things. "My dear
Miss Blakiston," she wrote. "But I do hope you will use the house. It was
because I wanted to be certain that it would be occupied this summer that
I asked so low a rent for it.</p>
<p>"You may call it a whim if you like, but there are reasons why I wish the
house to have a summer tenant. It has, for one thing, never been empty
since it was built. It was my father's pride, and his father's before him,
that the doors were never locked, even at night. Of course I can not ask a
tenant to continue this old custom, but I can ask you to reconsider your
decision.</p>
<p>"Will you forgive me for saying that you are so exactly the person I
should like to see in the house that I feel I can not give you up? So
strongly do I feel this that I would, if I dared, enclose your check and
beg you to use the house rent free. Faithfully yours, Emily Benton."</p>
<p>Gracefully worded and carefully written as the letter was, I seemed to
feel behind it some stress of feeling, an excitement perhaps, totally out
of proportion to its contents. Years before I had met Miss Emily, even
then a frail little old lady, her small figure stiffly erect, her eyes
cold, her whole bearing one of reserve. The Bentons, for all their open
doors, were known in that part of the country as "proud." I can remember,
too, how when I was a young girl my mother had regarded the rare
invitations to have tea and tiny cakes in the Benton parlor as commands,
no less, and had taken the long carriage-ride from the city with
complacency. And now Miss Emily, last of the family, had begged me to take
the house.</p>
<p>In the end, as has been shown, I agreed. The glamor of the past had
perhaps something to do with it. But I have come to a time of life when,
failing intimate interests of my own, my neighbors' interests are mine by
adoption. To be frank, I came because I was curious. Why, aside from a
money consideration, was the Benton house to be occupied by an alien
household? It was opposed to every tradition of the family as I had heard
of it.</p>
<p>I knew something of the family history: the Reverend Thaddeus Benton,
rector of Saint Bartholomew, who had forsaken the frame rectory near the
church to build himself the substantial home now being offered me; Miss
Emily, his daughter, who must now, I computed, be nearly seventy; and a
son whom I recalled faintly as hardly bearing out the Benton traditions of
solidity and rectitude.</p>
<p>The Reverend Mr. Benton, I recalled, had taken the stand that his house
was his own, and having moved his family into it, had thereafter, save on
great occasions, received the congregation individually or en masse, in
his study at the church. A patriarchal old man, benevolent yet austere,
who once, according to a story I had heard in my girlhood, had
horsewhipped one of his vestrymen for trifling with the affections of a
young married woman in the village!</p>
<p>There was a gap of thirty years in my knowledge of the family. I had,
indeed, forgotten its very existence, when by the chance of a newspaper
advertisement I found myself involved vitally in its affairs, playing
providence, indeed, and both fearing and hating my role. Looking back,
there are a number of things that appear rather curious. Why, for
instance, did Maggie, my old servant, develop such a dislike for the
place? It had nothing to do with the house. She had not seen it when she
first refused to go. But her reluctance was evident from the beginning.</p>
<p>"I've just got a feeling about it, Miss Agnes," she said. "I can't explain
it, any more than I can explain a cold in the head. But it's there."</p>
<p>At first I was inclined to blame Maggie's "feeling" on her knowledge that
the house was cheap. She knew it, as she has, I am sure, read all my
letters for years. She has a distrust of a bargain. But later I came to
believe that there was something more to Maggie's distrust—as though
perhaps a wave of uneasiness, spreading from some unknown source, had
engulfed her.</p>
<p>Indeed, looking back over the two months I spent in the Benton house, I am
inclined to go even further. If thoughts carry, as I am sure they do, then
emotions carry. Fear, hope, courage, despair—if the intention of
writing a letter to an absent friend can spread itself half-way across the
earth, so that as you write the friend writes also, and your letters
cross, how much more should big emotions carry? I have had sweep over me
such waves of gladness, such gusts of despair, as have shaken me. Yet with
no cause for either. They are gone in a moment. Just for an instant, I
have caught and made my own another's joy or grief.</p>
<p>The only inexplicable part of this narrative is that Maggie, neither a
psychic nor a sensitive type, caught the terror, as I came to call it,
before I did. Perhaps it may be explainable by the fact that her mental
processes are comparatively simple, her mind an empty slate that shows
every mark made on it.</p>
<p>In a way, this is a study in fear.</p>
<p>Maggie's resentment continued through my decision to use the house,
through the packing, through the very moving itself. It took the form of a
sort of watchful waiting, although at the time we neither of us realized
it, and of dislike of the house and its surroundings. It extended itself
to the very garden, where she gathered flowers for the table with a
ruthlessness that was almost vicious. And, as July went on, and Miss Emily
made her occasional visits, as tiny, as delicate as herself, I had a
curious conclusion forced on me. Miss Emily returned her antagonism. I was
slow to credit it. What secret and even unacknowledged opposition could
there be between my downright Maggie and this little old aristocrat with
her frail hands and the soft rustle of silk about her?</p>
<p>In Miss Emily, it took the form of—how strange a word to use in
connection with her!—of furtive watchfulness. I felt that Maggie's
entrance, with nothing more momentous than the tea-tray, set her upright
in her chair, put an edge to her soft voice, and absorbed her. She was
still attentive to what I said. She agreed or dissented. But back of it
all, with her eyes on me, she was watching Maggie.</p>
<p>With Maggie the antagonism took no such subtle form. It showed itself in
the second best instead of the best china, and a tendency to weak tea,
when Miss Emily took hers very strong. And such was the effect of their
mutual watchfulness and suspicion, such perhaps was the influence of the
staid old house on me, after a time even that fact, of the strong tea,
began to strike me as incongruous. Miss Emily was so consistent, so
consistently frail and dainty and so—well, unspotted seems to be the
word—and so gentle, yet as time went on I began to feel that she
hated Maggie with a real hatred. And there was the strong tea!</p>
<p>Indeed, it was not quite normal, nor was I. For by that time—the
middle of July it was before I figured out as much as I have set down in
five minutes—by that time I was not certain about the house. It was
difficult to say just what I felt about the house. Willie, who came down
over a Sunday early in the summer, possibly voiced it when he came down to
his breakfast there.</p>
<p>"How did you sleep?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Not very well." He picked up his coffee-cup, and smiled over it rather
sheepishly. "To tell the truth, I got to thinking about things—the
furniture and all that," he said vaguely. "How many people have sat in the
chairs and seen themselves in the mirror and died in the bed, and so on."</p>
<p>Maggie, who was bringing in the toast, gave a sort of low moan, which she
turned into a cough.</p>
<p>"There have been twenty-three deaths in it in the last forty years, Mr.
Willie," she volunteered. "That's according to the gardener. And more than
half died in that room of yours."</p>
<p>"Put down that toast before you drop it, Maggie," I said. "You're shaking
all over. And go out and shut the door."</p>
<p>"Very well," she said, with a meekness behind which she was both indignant
and frightened. "But there is one word I might mention before I go, and
that is—cats!"</p>
<p>"Cats!" said Willie, as she slammed the door.</p>
<p>"I think it is only one cat," I observed mildly. "It belongs to Miss
Emily, I fancy. It manages to be in a lot of places nearly simultaneously,
and Maggie swears it is a dozen."</p>
<p>Willie is not subtle. He is a practical young man with a growing family,
and a tendency the last year or two to flesh. But he ate his breakfast
thoughtfully.</p>
<p>"Don't you think it's rather isolated?" he asked finally. "Just you three
women here?" I had taken Delia, the cook, along.</p>
<p>"We have a telephone," I said, rather loftily. "Although—" I checked
myself. Maggie, I felt sure, was listening in the pantry, and I intended
to give her wild fancies no encouragement. To utter a thing is, to Maggie,
to give it life. By the mere use of the spoken word it ceases to be
supposition and becomes fact.</p>
<p>As a matter of fact, my uneasiness about the house resolved itself into an
uneasiness about the telephone. It seems less absurd now than it did then.
But I remember what Willie said about it that morning on our way to the
church.</p>
<p>"It rings at night, Willie," I said. "And when I go there is no one
there."</p>
<p>"So do all telephones," he replied briskly. "It's their greatest
weakness."</p>
<p>"Once or twice we have found the thing on the floor in the morning. It
couldn't blow over or knock itself down."</p>
<p>"Probably the cat," he said, with the patient air of a man arguing with an
unreasonable woman. "Of course," he added—we were passing the
churchyard then, dominated by what the village called the Benton "mosolem"—"there's
a chance that those dead-and-gone Bentons resent anything as modern as a
telephone. It might be interesting to see what they would do to a
victrola."</p>
<p>"I'm going to tell you something, Willie," I said. "I am afraid of the
telephone."</p>
<p>He was completely incredulous. I felt rather ridiculous, standing there in
the sunlight of that summer Sabbath and making my confession. But I did
it.</p>
<p>"I am afraid of it," I repeated. "I'm desperately sure you will never
understand. Because I don't. I can hardly force myself to go to it. I hate
the very back corner of the hall where it stands, I—"</p>
<p>I saw his expression then, and I stopped, furious with myself. Why had I
said it? But more important still, why did I feel it? I had not put it
into words before, I had not expected to say it then. But the moment I
said it I knew it was true. I had developed an idee fixe.</p>
<p>"I have to go downstairs at night and answer it," I added, rather feebly.
"It's on my nerves, I think."</p>
<p>"I should think it is," he said, with a note of wonder in his voice. "It
doesn't sound like you. A telephone!" But just at the church door he
stopped me, a hand on my arm.</p>
<p>"Look here," he said, "don't you suppose it's because you're so dependent
on the telephone? You know that if anything goes wrong with it, you're cut
off, in a way. And there's another point—you get all your news over
it, good and bad." He had difficulty, I think, in finding the words he
wanted. "It's—it's vital," he said. "So you attach too much
importance to it, and it gets to be an obsession."</p>
<p>"Very likely," I assented. "The whole thing is idiotic, anyhow."</p>
<p>But—was it idiotic?</p>
<p>I am endeavoring to set things down as they seemed to me at the time, not
in the light of subsequent events. For, if this narrative has any interest
at all, it is a psychological one. I have said that it is a study in fear,
but perhaps it would be more accurate to say that it is a study of the
mental reaction of crime, of its effects on different minds, more or less
remotely connected with it.</p>
<p>That my analysis of my impressions in the church that morning are not
colored by subsequent events is proved by the fact that under cover of
that date, July 16th, I made the following entry:</p>
<p>"Why do Maggie and Miss Benton distrust each other?"</p>
<p>I realized it even then, although I did not consider it serious, as is
evidenced by the fact that I follow it with a recipe for fruit gelatin,
copied from the newspaper.</p>
<p>It was a calm and sunny Sunday morning. The church windows were wide open,
and a butterfly came in and set the choir boys to giggling. At the end of
my pew a stained-glass window to Carlo Benton—the name came like an
echo from the forgotten past—sent a shower of colored light over
Willie, turned my blue silk to most unspinsterly hues, and threw a sort of
summer radiance over Miss Emily herself, in the seat ahead.</p>
<p>She sat quite alone, impeccably neat, even to her profile. She was so
orderly, so well balanced, one stitch of her hand-sewed organdy collar was
so clearly identical with every other, her very seams, if you can
understand it, ran so exactly where they should, that she set me to
pulling myself straight. I am rather casual as to seams.</p>
<p>After a time I began to have a curious feeling about her. Her head was
toward the rector, standing in a sort of white nimbus of sunlight, but I
felt that Miss Emily's entire attention was on our pew, immediately behind
her. I find I can not put it into words, unless it was that her back
settled into more rigid lines. I glanced along the pew. Willie's face wore
a calm and slightly somnolent expression. But Maggie, in her far end—she
is very high church and always attends—Maggie's eyes were glued
almost fiercely to Miss Emily's back. And just then Miss Emily herself
stirred, glanced up at the window, and turning slightly, returned Maggie's
glance with one almost as malevolent. I have hesitated over that word. It
seems strong now, but at the time it was the one that came into my mind.</p>
<p>When it was over, it was hard to believe that it had happened. And even
now, with everything else clear, I do not pretend to explain Maggie's
attitude. She knew, in some strange way. But she did not know that she
knew—which sounds like nonsense and is as near as I can come to
getting it down in words.</p>
<p>Willie left that night, the 16th, and we settled down to quiet days, and,
for a time, to undisturbed nights. But on the following Wednesday, by my
journal, the telephone commenced to bother me again. Generally speaking,
it rang rather early, between eleven o'clock and midnight. But on the
following Saturday night I find I have recorded the hour as 2 a.m.</p>
<p>In every instance the experience was identical. The telephone never rang
the second time. When I went downstairs to answer it—I did not
always go—there was the buzzing of the wire, and there was nothing
else. It was on the twenty-fourth that I had the telephone inspected and
reported in normal condition, and it is possibly significant that for
three days afterward my record shows not a single disturbance.</p>
<p>But I do not regard the strange calls over the telephone as so important
as my attitude to them. The plain truth is that my fear of the calls
extended itself in a few days to cover the instrument, and more than that,
to the part of the house it stood in. Maggie never had this, nor did she
recognize it in me. Her fear was a perfectly simple although uncomfortable
one, centering around the bedrooms where, in each bed, she nightly saw
dead and gone Bentons laid out in all the decorum of the best linen.</p>
<p>On more than one evening she came to the library door, with an expression
of mentally looking over her shoulder, and some such dialogue would
follow:</p>
<p>"D'you mind if I turn the bed down now, Miss Agnes?"</p>
<p>"It's very early."</p>
<p>"S'almost eight." When she is nervous she cuts verbal corners.</p>
<p>"You know perfectly well that I dislike having the beds disturbed until
nine o'clock, Maggie."</p>
<p>"I'm going out."</p>
<p>"You said that last night, but you didn't go."</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>"Now, see here, Maggie, I want you to overcome this feeling of—" I
hesitated—"of fear. When you have really seen or heard something, it
will be time enough to be nervous."</p>
<p>"Humph!" said Maggie on one of these occasions, and edged into the room.
It was growing dusk. "It will be too late then, Miss Agnes. And another
thing. You're a brave woman. I don't know as I've seen a braver. But I
notice you keep away from the telephone after dark."</p>
<p>The general outcome of these conversations was that, to avoid argument, I
permitted the preparation of my room for the night at an earlier and yet
earlier hour, until at last it was done the moment I was dressed for
dinner.</p>
<p>It is clear to me now that two entirely different sorts of fear actuated
us. For by that time I had to acknowledge that there was fear in the
house. Even Delia, the cook, had absorbed some of Maggie's terror;
possibly traceable to some early impressions of death which connected
them-selves with a four-post bedstead.</p>
<p>Of the two sorts of fear, Delia's and Maggie's symptoms were subjective.
Mine, I still feel, were objective.</p>
<p>It was not long before the beginning of August, and during a lull in the
telephone matter, that I began to suspect that the house was being visited
at night.</p>
<p>There was nothing I could point to with any certainty as having been
disturbed at first. It was a matter of a book misplaced on the table, of
my sewing-basket open when I always leave it closed, of a burnt match on
the floor, whereas it is one of my orderly habits never to leave burnt
matches around. And at last the burnt match became a sort of clue, for I
suspected that it had been used to light one of the candles that sat in
holders of every sort, on the top of the library shelves.</p>
<p>I tried getting up at night and peering over the banisters, but without
result. And I was never sure as to articles that they had been moved. I
remained in that doubting and suspicious halfway ground that is worse than
certainty. And there was the matter of motive. I could not get away from
that. What possible purpose could an intruder have, for instance, in
opening my sewing-basket or moving the dictionary two inches on the center
table?</p>
<p>Yet the feeling persisted, and on the second of August I find this entry
in my journal:</p>
<p>Right-hand brass, eight inches; left-hand brass, seven inches; carved-wood—Italian—five
and three quarter inches each; old glass on mantelpiece—seven
inches. And below this, dated the third: Last night, between midnight and
daylight, the candle in the glass holder on the right side of the mantel
was burned down one and one-half inches.</p>
<p>I should, no doubt, have set a watch on my nightly visitor after making
this discovery—and one that was apparently connected with it—nothing
less than Delia's report that there were candle-droppings over the border
of the library carpet. But I have admitted that this is a study in fear,
and a part of it is my own.</p>
<p>I was afraid. I was afraid of the night visitor, but, more than that, I
was afraid of the fear. It had become a real thing by that time, something
that lurked in the lower back hall waiting to catch me by the throat, to
stop my breath, to paralyze me so I could not escape. I never went beyond
that point.</p>
<p>Yet I am not a cowardly woman. I have lived alone too long for that. I
have closed too many houses at night and gone upstairs in the dark to be
afraid of darkness. And even now I can not, looking back, admit that I was
afraid of the darkness there, although I resorted to the weak expedient of
leaving a short length of candle to burn itself out in the hall when I
went up to bed.</p>
<p>I have seen one of Willie's boys waken up at night screaming with a terror
he could not describe. Well, it was much like that with me, except that I
was awake and horribly ashamed of myself.</p>
<p>On the fourth of August I find in my journal the single word "flour." It
recalls both my own cowardice at that time, and an experiment I made. The
telephone had not bothered us for several nights, and I began to suspect a
connection of this sort: when the telephone rang, there was no night
visitor, and vice versa. I was not certain.</p>
<p>Delia was setting bread that night in the kitchen, and Maggie was reading
a ghost story from the evening paper. There was a fine sifting of flour
over the table, and it gave me my idea. When I went up to bed that night,
I left a powdering of flour here and there on the lower floor, at the door
into the library, a patch by the table, and—going back rather
uneasily—one near the telephone.</p>
<p>I was up and downstairs before Maggie the next morning. The patches showed
trampling. In the doorway they were almost obliterated, as by the trailing
of a garment over them, but by the fireplace there were two prints quite
distinct. I knew when I saw them that I had expected the marks of Miss
Emily's tiny foot, although I had not admitted it before. But these were
not Miss Emily's. They were large, flat, substantial, and one showed a
curious marking around the edge that—It was my own! The marking was
the knitted side of my bedroom slipper. I had, so far as I could tell,
gone downstairs, in the night, investigated the candles, possibly in
darkness, and gone back to bed again.</p>
<p>The effect of the discovery on me was—well undermining. In all the
uneasiness of the past few weeks I had at least had full confidence in
myself. And now that was gone. I began to wonder how much of the things
that had troubled me were real, and how many I had made for myself.</p>
<p>To tell the truth, by that time the tension was almost unbearable. My
nerves were going, and there was no reason for it. I kept telling myself
that. In the mirror I looked white and anxious, and I had a sense of
approaching trouble. I caught Maggie watching me, too, and on the seventh
I find in my journal the words: "Insanity is often only a formless
terror."</p>
<p>On the Sunday morning following that I found three burnt matches in the
library fireplace, and one of the candles in the brass holders was almost
gone. I sat most of the day in that room, wondering what would happen to
me if I lost my mind. I knew that Maggie was watching me, and I made one
of those absurd hypotheses to myself that we all do at times. If any of
the family came, I would know that she had sent for them, and that I was
really deranged! It had been a long day, with a steady summer rain that
had not cooled the earth, but only set it steaming. The air was like hot
vapor, and my hair clung to my moist forehead. At about four o'clock
Maggie started chasing a fly with a folded newspaper. She followed it
about the lower floor from room to room, making little harsh noises in her
throat when she missed it. The sound of the soft thud of the paper on
walls and furniture seemed suddenly more than I could bear.</p>
<p>"For heaven's sake!" I cried. "Stop that noise, Maggie." I felt as though
my eyes were starting from my head.</p>
<p>"It's a fly," she said doggedly, and aimed another blow at it. "If I don't
kill it, we'll have a million. There, it's on the mantel now. I never—"</p>
<p>I felt that if she raised the paper club once more I should scream. So I
got up quickly and caught her wrist. She was so astonished that she let
the paper drop, and there we stood, staring at each other. I can still see
the way her mouth hung open.</p>
<p>"Don't!" I said. And my voice sounded thick even to my own ears. "Maggie—I
can't stand it!"</p>
<p>"My God, Miss Agnes!"</p>
<p>Her tone brought me up sharply. I released her arm.</p>
<p>"I—I'm just nervous, Maggie," I said, and sat down. I was trembling
violently.</p>
<p>I was sane. I knew it then as I know it now. But I was not rational.
Perhaps to most of us come now and then times when they realize that some
act, or some thought, is not balanced, as though, for a moment or an hour,
the control was gone from the brain. Or—and I think this was the
feeling I had—that some other control was in charge. Not the Agnes
Blakiston I knew, but another Agnes Blakiston, perhaps, was exerting a
temporary dominance, a hectic, craven, and hateful control.</p>
<p>That is the only outburst I recall. Possibly Maggie may have others stored
away. She has a tenacious memory. Certainly it was my nearest approach to
violence. But it had the effect of making me set a watch on myself.</p>
<p>Possibly it was coincidence. Probably, however, Maggie had communicated
with Willie. But two days later young Martin Sprague, Freda Sprague's son,
stopped his car in the drive and came in. He is a nerve specialist, and
very good, although I can remember when he came down in his night drawers
to one of his mother's dinner-parties.</p>
<p>"Thought I would just run in and see you," he said. "Mother told me you
were here. By George, Miss Agnes, you look younger than ever."</p>
<p>"Who told you to come, Martie?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Told me? I don't have to be told to visit an old friend."</p>
<p>Well, he asked himself to lunch, and looked over the house, and decided to
ask Miss Emily if she would sell an old Japanese cabinet inlaid with
mother of pearl that I would not have had as a gift. And, in the end, I
told him my trouble, of the fear that seemed to center around the
telephone, and the sleep-walking.</p>
<p>He listened carefully.</p>
<p>"Ever get any bad news over the telephone?" he asked.</p>
<p>One way and another, I said I had had plenty of it. He went over me
thoroughly, and was inclined to find my experience with the flour rather
amusing than otherwise. "It's rather good, that," he said. "Setting a trap
to catch yourself. You'd better have Maggie sleep in your room for a
while. Well, it's all pretty plain, Miss Agnes. We bury some things as
deep as possible, especially if we don't want to remember that they ever
happened. But the mind's a queer thing. It holds on pretty hard, and
burying is not destroying. Then we get tired or nervous—maybe just
holding the thing down and pretending it is not there makes us nervous—and
up it pops, like the ghost of a buried body, and raises hell. You don't
mind that, do you?" he added anxiously. "It's exactly what those things do
raise."</p>
<p>"But," I demanded irritably, "who rings the telephone at night? I daresay
you don't contend that I go out at night and call the house, and then come
back and answer the call, do you?"</p>
<p>He looked at me with a maddening smile.</p>
<p>"Are you sure it really rings?" he asked.</p>
<p>And so bad was my nervous condition by that time, so undermined was my
self-confidence, that I was not certain! And this in face of the fact that
it invariably roused Maggie as well as myself.</p>
<p>On the eleventh of August Miss Emily came to tea. The date does not
matter, but by following the chronology of my journal I find I can keep my
narrative in proper sequence.</p>
<p>I had felt better that day. So far as I could determine, I had not walked
in my sleep again, and there was about Maggie an air of cheerfulness and
relief which showed that my condition was more nearly normal than it had
been for some time. The fear of the telephone and of the back hall was
leaving me, too. Perhaps Martin Sprague's matter-of-fact explanation had
helped me. But my own theory had always been the one I recorded at the
beginning of this narrative—that I caught and—well, registered
is a good word—that I registered an overwhelming fear from some
unknown source.</p>
<p>I spied Miss Emily as she got out of the hack that day, a cool little
figure clad in a thin black silk dress, with the sheerest possible white
collars and cuffs. Her small bonnet with its crepe veil was faced with
white, and her carefully crimped gray hair showed a wavy border beneath
it. Mr. Staley, the station hackman, helped her out of the surrey, and
handed her the knitting-bag without which she was seldom seen. It was two
weeks since she had been there, and she came slowly up the walk, looking
from side to side at the perennial borders, then in full August bloom.</p>
<p>She smiled when she saw me in the doorway, and said, with the little
anxious pucker between her eyes that was so childish, "Don't you think
peonies are better cut down at this time of year?" She took a folded
handkerchief from her bag and dabbed at her face, where there was no sign
of dust to mar its old freshness. "It gives the lilies a better chance, my
dear."</p>
<p>I led her into the house, and she produced a gay bit of knitting, a baby
afghan, by the signs. She smiled at me over it.</p>
<p>"I am always one baby behind," she explained and fell to work rapidly. She
had lovely hands, and I suspected them of being her one vanity.</p>
<p>Maggie was serving tea with her usual grudging reluctance, and I noticed
then that when she was in the room Miss Emily said little or nothing. I
thought it probable that she did not approve of conversing before
servants, and would have let it go at that, had I not, as I held out Miss
Emily's cup, caught her looking at Maggie. I had a swift impression of
antagonism again, of alertness and something more. When Maggie went out,
Miss Emily turned to me.</p>
<p>"She is very capable, I fancy."</p>
<p>"Very. Entirely too capable."</p>
<p>"She looks sharp," said Miss Emily. It was a long time since I had heard
the word so used, but it was very apt. Maggie was indeed sharp. But Miss
Emily launched into a general dissertation on servants, and Maggie's
sharpness was forgotten.</p>
<p>It was, I think, when she was about to go that I asked her about the
telephone.</p>
<p>"Telephone?" she inquired. "Why, no. It has always done very well. Of
course, after a heavy snow in the winter, sometimes—"</p>
<p>She had a fashion of leaving her sentences unfinished. They trailed off,
without any abrupt break.</p>
<p>"It rings at night."</p>
<p>"Rings?"</p>
<p>"I am called frequently and when I get to the phone, there is no one
there."</p>
<p>Some of my irritation doubtless got into my voice, for Miss Emily suddenly
drew away and stared at me.</p>
<p>"But—that is very strange. I—"</p>
<p>She had gone pale. I saw that now. And quite suddenly she dropped her
knitting-bag. When I restored it to her, she was very calm and poised, but
her color had not come back.</p>
<p>"It has always been very satisfactory," she said. "I don't know that it
ever—"</p>
<p>She considered, and began again. "Why not just ignore it? If some one is
playing a malicious trick on you, the only thing is to ignore it."</p>
<p>Her hands were shaking, although her voice was quiet. I saw that when she
tried to tie the ribbons of the bag. And—I wondered at this, in so
gentle a soul—there was a hint of anger in her tones. There was an
edge to her voice.</p>
<p>That she could be angry was a surprise. And I found that she could also be
obstinate. For we came to an impasse over the telephone in the next few
minutes, and over something so absurd that I was non-plussed. It was over
her unqualified refusal to allow me to install a branch wire to my
bedroom.</p>
<p>"But," I expostulated, "when one thinks of the convenience, and—"</p>
<p>"I am sorry." Her voice had a note of finality. "I daresay I am
old-fashioned, but—I do not like changes. I shall have to ask you
not to interfere with the telephone."</p>
<p>I could hardly credit my senses. Her tone was one of reproof, plus
decision. It convicted me of an indiscretion. If I had asked to take the
roof off and replace it with silk umbrellas, it might have been justified.
But to a request to move the telephone!</p>
<p>"Of course, if you feel that way about it," I said, "I shall not touch
it."</p>
<p>I dropped the subject, a trifle ruffled, I confess, and went upstairs to
fetch a box in which Miss Emily was to carry away some flowers from the
garden.</p>
<p>It was when I was coming down the staircase that I saw Maggie. She had
carried the hall candlesticks, newly polished, to their places on the
table, and was standing, a hand on each one, staring into the old
Washington mirror in front of her. From where she was she must have had a
full view of Miss Emily in the library. And Maggie was bristling. It was
the only word for it.</p>
<p>She was still there when Miss Emily had gone, blowing on the mirror and
polishing it. And I took her to task for her unfriendly attitude to the
little old lady.</p>
<p>"You practically threw her muffins at her," I said. "And I must speak
again about the cups—"</p>
<p>"What does she come snooping around for, anyhow?" she broke in. "Aren't we
paying for her house? Didn't she get down on her bended knees and beg us
to take it?"</p>
<p>"Is that any reason why we should be uncivil?"</p>
<p>"What I want to know is this," Maggie said truculently. "What right has
she to come back, and spy on us? For that's what she's doing, Miss Agnes.
Do you know what she was at when I looked in at her? She was running a
finger along the baseboard to see if it was clean! And what's more, I
caught her at it once before, in the back hall, when she was pretending to
telephone for the station hack."</p>
<p>It was that day, I think, that I put fresh candles in all the holders
downstairs. I had made a resolution like this,—to renew the candles,
and to lock myself in my room and throw the key over the transom to
Maggie. If, in the mornings that followed, the candles had been used, it
would prove that Martin Sprague was wrong, that even foot-prints could
lie, and that some one was investigating the lower floor at night. For
while my reason told me that I had been the intruder, my intuition
continued to insist that my sleepwalking was a result, not a cause. In a
word, I had gone downstairs, because I knew that there had been and might
be again, a night visitor.</p>
<p>Yet, there was something of comedy in that night's precautions, after all.</p>
<p>At ten-thirty I was undressed, and Maggie had, with rebellion in every
line of her, locked me in. I could hear her, afterwards running along the
hall to her own room and slamming the door. Then, a moment later, the
telephone rang.</p>
<p>It was too early, I reasoned, for the night calls. It might be anything, a
telegram at the station, Willie's boy run over by an automobile,
Gertrude's children ill. A dozen possibilities ran through my mind.</p>
<p>And Maggie would not let me out!</p>
<p>"You're not going downstairs," she called, from a safe distance.</p>
<p>"Maggie!" I cried, sharply. And banged at the door. The telephone was
ringing steadily. "Come here at once."</p>
<p>"Miss Agnes," she beseeched, "you go to bed and don't listen. There'll be
nothing there, for all your trouble," she said, in a quavering voice.
"It's nothing human that rings that bell."</p>
<p>Finally, however, she freed me, and I went down the stairs. I had carried
down a lamp, and my nerves were vibrating to the rhythm of the bell's
shrill summons. But, strangely enough, the fear had left me. I find, as
always, that it is difficult to put into words. I did not relish the
excursion to the lower floor. I resented the jarring sound of the bell.
But the terror was gone.</p>
<p>I went back to the telephone. Something that was living and moving was
there. I saw its eyes, lower than mine, reflecting the lamp like twin
lights. I was frightened, but still it was not the fear. The twin lights
leaped forward—and proved to be the eyes of Miss Emily's cat, which
had been sleeping on the stand!</p>
<p>I answered the telephone. To my surprise it was Miss Emily herself, a
quiet and very dignified voice which apologized for disturbing me at that
hour, and went on:</p>
<p>"I feel that I was very abrupt this afternoon, Miss Blakiston. My excuse
is that I have always feared change. I have lived in a rut too long, I'm
afraid. But of course, if you feel you would like to move the telephone,
or put in an upstairs instrument, you may do as you like."</p>
<p>She seemed, having got me there, unwilling to ring off. I got a curious
effect of reluctance over the telephone, and there was one phrase that she
repeated several times.</p>
<p>"I do not want to influence you. I want you to do just what you think
best."</p>
<p>The fear was entirely gone by the time she rang off. I felt, instead, a
sort of relaxation that was most comforting. The rear hall, a cul-de-sac
of nervousness in the daytime and of horror at night, was suddenly
transformed by the light of my lamp into a warm and cheerful refuge from
the darkness of the lower floor. The purring of the cat, comfortably
settled on the telephone-stand, was as cheering as the singing of a kettle
on a stove. On the rack near me my garden hat and an old Paisley shawl
made a grotesque human effigy.</p>
<p>I sat back in the low wicker chair and surveyed the hallway. Why not, I
considered, do away now with the fear of it? If I could conquer it like
this at midnight, I need never succumb again to it in the light.</p>
<p>The cat leaped to the stand beside me and stood there, waiting. He was an
intelligent animal, and I am like a good many spinsters. I am not more
fond of cats than other people, but I understand them better. And it
seemed to me that he and I were going through some familiar program, of
which a part had been neglected. The cat neither sat nor lay, but stood
there, waiting.</p>
<p>So at last I fetched the shawl from the rack and made him a bed on the
stand. It was what he had been waiting for. I saw that at once. He walked
onto it, turned around once, lay down, and closed his eyes.</p>
<p>I took up my vigil. I had been the victim of a fear I was determined to
conquer. The house was quiet. Maggie had retired shriveled to bed. The cat
slept on the shawl.</p>
<p>And then—I felt the fear returning. It welled up through my
tranquillity like a flood, and swept me with it. I wanted to shriek. I was
afraid to shriek. I longed to escape. I dared not move. There had been no
sound, no motion. Things were as they had been.</p>
<p>It may have been one minute or five that I sat there. I do not know. I
only know that I sat with fixed eyes, not even blinking, for fear of even
for a second shutting out the sane and visible world about me. A sense of
deadness commenced in my hands and worked up my arms. My chest seemed
flattened.</p>
<p>Then the telephone bell rang.</p>
<p>The cat leaped to his feet. Somehow I reached forward and took down the
receiver.</p>
<p>"Who is it?" I cried, in a voice that was thin, I knew, and unnatural.</p>
<p>The telephone is not a perfect medium. It loses much that we wish to
register but, also, it registers much that we may wish to lose. Therefore
when I say that I distinctly heard a gasp, followed by heavy difficult
breathing, over the telephone, I must beg for credence. It is true. Some
one at the other end of the line was struggling for breath.</p>
<p>Then there was complete silence. I realized, after a moment, that the
circuit had been stealthily cut, and that my conviction was verified by
Central's demand, a moment later, of what number I wanted. I was, at
first, unable to answer her. When I did speak, my voice was shaken.</p>
<p>"What number, please?" she repeated, in a bored tone. There is nothing in
all the world so bored as the voice of a small town telephone-operator.</p>
<p>"You called," I said.</p>
<p>"Beg y'pardon. Must have been a mistake," she replied glibly, and cut me
off.</p>
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