<h2>CHAPTER III.</h2>
<p>“I <span class="smcap">don’t</span> quite know how
to explain it to you,” he said, “but it was the very
fact that your notice of my book had a spice of intelligence, it
was just your exceptional sharpness, that produced the
feeling—a very old story with me, I beg you to
believe—under the momentary influence of which I used in
speaking to that good lady the words you so naturally
resent. I don’t read the things in the newspapers
unless they’re thrust upon me as that one
was—it’s always one’s best friend who does
it! But I used to read them sometimes—ten years
ago. I dare say they were in general rather stupider then;
at any rate it always struck me they missed my little point with
a perfection exactly as admirable when they patted me on the back
as when they kicked me in the shins. Whenever since
I’ve happened to have a glimpse of them they were still
blazing away—still missing it, I mean, deliciously.
<i>You</i> miss it, my dear fellow, with inimitable assurance;
the fact of your being awfully clever and your article’s
being awfully nice doesn’t make a hair’s breadth of
difference. It’s quite with you rising young
men,” Vereker laughed, “that I feel most what a
failure I am!”</p>
<p>I listened with keen interest; it grew keener as he
talked. “<i>You</i> a failure—heavens!
What then may your ‘little point’ happen to
be?”</p>
<p>“Have I got to <i>tell</i> you, after all these years
and labours?” There was something in the friendly
reproach of this—jocosely exaggerated—that made me,
as an ardent young seeker for truth, blush to the roots of my
hair. I’m as much in the dark as ever, though
I’ve grown used in a sense to my obtuseness; at that
moment, however, Vereker’s happy accent made me appear to
myself, and probably to him, a rare dunce. I was on the
point of exclaiming “Ah yes, don’t tell me: for my
honour, for that of the craft, don’t!” when he went
on in a manner that showed he had read my thought and had his own
idea of the probability of our some day redeeming
ourselves. “By my little point I mean—what
shall I call it?—the particular thing I’ve written my
books most <i>for</i>. Isn’t there for every writer a
particular thing of that sort, the thing that most makes him
apply himself, the thing without the effort to achieve which he
wouldn’t write at all, the very passion of his passion, the
part of the business in which, for him, the flame of art burns
most intensely? Well, it’s <i>that</i>!”</p>
<p>I considered a moment—that is I followed at a respectful
distance, rather gasping. I was fascinated—easily,
you’ll say; but I wasn’t going after all to be put
off my guard. “Your description’s certainly
beautiful, but it doesn’t make what you describe very
distinct.”</p>
<p>“I promise you it would be distinct if it should dawn on
you at all.” I saw that the charm of our topic
overflowed for my companion into an emotion as lively as my
own. “At any rate,” he went on, “I can
speak for myself: there’s an idea in my work without which
I wouldn’t have given a straw for the whole job.
It’s the finest fullest intention of the lot, and the
application of it has been, I think, a triumph of patience, of
ingenuity. I ought to leave that to somebody else to say;
but that nobody does say it is precisely what we’re talking
about. It stretches, this little trick of mine, from book
to book, and everything else, comparatively, plays over the
surface of it. The order, the form, the texture of my books
will perhaps some day constitute for the initiated a complete
representation of it. So it’s naturally the thing for
the critic to look for. It strikes me,” my visitor
added, smiling, “even as the thing for the critic to
find.”</p>
<p>This seemed a responsibility indeed. “You call it
a little trick?”</p>
<p>“That’s only my little modesty. It’s
really an exquisite scheme.”</p>
<p>“And you hold that you’ve carried the scheme
out?”</p>
<p>“The way I’ve carried it out is the thing in life
I think a bit well of myself for.”</p>
<p>I had a pause. “Don’t you think you
ought—just a trifle—to assist the critic?”</p>
<p>“Assist him? What else have I done with every
stroke of my pen? I’ve shouted my intention in his
great blank face!” At this, laughing out again,
Vereker laid his hand on my shoulder to show the allusion
wasn’t to my personal appearance.</p>
<p>“But you talk about the initiated. There must
therefore, you see, <i>be</i> initiation.”</p>
<p>“What else in heaven’s name is criticism supposed
to be?” I’m afraid I coloured at this too; but
I took refuge in repeating that his account of his silver lining
was poor in something or other that a plain man knows things
by. “That’s only because you’ve never had
a glimpse of it,” he returned. “If you had had
one the element in question would soon have become practically
all you’d see. To me it’s exactly as palpable
as the marble of this chimney. Besides, the critic just
<i>isn’t</i> a plain man: if he were, pray, what would he
be doing in his neighbour’s garden? You’re
anything but a plain man yourself, and the very raison
d’être of you all is that you’re little demons
of subtlety. If my great affair’s a secret,
that’s only because it’s a secret in spite of
itself—the amazing event has made it one. I not only
never took the smallest precaution to keep it so, but never
dreamed of any such accident. If I had I shouldn’t in
advance have had the heart to go on. As it was, I only
became aware little by little, and meanwhile I had done my
work.”</p>
<p>“And now you quite like it?” I risked.</p>
<p>“My work?”</p>
<p>“Your secret. It’s the same
thing.”</p>
<p>“Your guessing that,” Vereker replied, “is a
proof that you’re as clever as I say!” I was
encouraged by this to remark that he would clearly be pained to
part with it, and he confessed that it was indeed with him now
the great amusement of life. “I live almost to see if
it will ever be detected.” He looked at me for a
jesting challenge; something far within his eyes seemed to peep
out. “But I needn’t worry—it
won’t!”</p>
<p>“You fire me as I’ve never been fired,” I
declared; “you make me determined to do or
die.” Then I asked: “Is it a kind of esoteric
message?”</p>
<p>His countenance fell at this—he put out his hand as if
to bid me good-night. “Ah my dear fellow, it
can’t be described in cheap journalese!”</p>
<p>I knew of course he’d be awfully fastidious, but our
talk had made me feel how much his nerves were exposed. I
was unsatisfied—I kept hold of his hand. “I
won’t make use of the expression then,” I said,
“in the article in which I shall eventually announce my
discovery, though I dare say I shall have hard work to do without
it. But meanwhile, just to hasten that difficult birth,
can’t you give a fellow a clue?” I felt much
more at my ease.</p>
<p>“My whole lucid effort gives him the clue—every
page and line and letter. The thing’s as concrete
there as a bird in a cage, a bait on a hook, a piece of cheese in
a mouse-trap. It’s stuck into every volume as your
foot is stuck into your shoe. It governs every line, it
chooses every word, it dots every i, it places every
comma.”</p>
<p>I scratched my head. “Is it something in the style
or something in the thought? An element of form or an
element of feeling?”</p>
<p>He indulgently shook my hand again, and I felt my questions to
be crude and my distinctions pitiful. “Good-night, my
dear boy—don’t bother about it. After all, you
do like a fellow.”</p>
<p>“And a little intelligence might spoil it?” I
still detained him.</p>
<p>He hesitated. “Well, you’ve got a heart in
your body. Is that an element of form or an element of
feeling? What I contend that nobody has ever mentioned in
my work is the organ of life.”</p>
<p>“I see—it’s some idea <i>about</i> life,
some sort of philosophy. Unless it be,” I added with
the eagerness of a thought perhaps still happier, “some
kind of game you’re up to with your style, something
you’re after in the language. Perhaps it’s a
preference for the letter P!” I ventured profanely to break
out. “Papa, potatoes, prunes—that sort of
thing?” He was suitably indulgent: he only said I
hadn’t got the right letter. But his amusement was
over; I could see he was bored. There was nevertheless
something else I had absolutely to learn. “Should you
be able, pen in hand, to state it clearly yourself—to name
it, phrase it, formulate it?”</p>
<p>“Oh,” he almost passionately sighed, “if I
were only, pen in hand, one of <i>you</i> chaps!”</p>
<p>“That would be a great chance for you of course.
But why should you despise us chaps for not doing what you
can’t do yourself?”</p>
<p>“Can’t do?” He opened his eyes.
“Haven’t I done it in twenty volumes? I do it
in my way,” he continued. “Go <i>you</i> and
don’t do it in yours.”</p>
<p>“Ours is so devilish difficult,” I weakly
observed.</p>
<p>“So’s mine. We each choose our own.
There’s no compulsion. You won’t come down and
smoke?”</p>
<p>“No. I want to think this thing out.”</p>
<p>“You’ll tell me then in the morning that
you’ve laid me bare?”</p>
<p>“I’ll see what I can do; I’ll sleep on
it. But just one word more,” I added. We had
left the room—I walked again with him a few steps along the
passage. “This extraordinary ‘general
intention,’ as you call it—for that’s the most
vivid description I can induce you to make of it—is then,
generally, a sort of buried treasure?”</p>
<p>His face lighted. “Yes, call it that, though
it’s perhaps not for me to do so.”</p>
<p>“Nonsense!” I laughed. “You know
you’re hugely proud of it.”</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t propose to tell you so; but it
<i>is</i> the joy of my soul!”</p>
<p>“You mean it’s a beauty so rare, so
great?”</p>
<p>He waited a little again. “The loveliest thing in
the world!” We had stopped, and on these words he
left me; but at the end of the corridor, while I looked after him
rather yearningly, he turned and caught sight of my puzzled
face. It made him earnestly, indeed I thought quite
anxiously, shake his head and wave his finger “Give it
up—give it up!”</p>
<p>This wasn’t a challenge—it was fatherly
advice. If I had had one of his books at hand I’d
have repeated my recent act of faith—I’d have spent
half the night with him. At three o’clock in the
morning, not sleeping, remembering moreover how indispensable he
was to Lady Jane, I stole down to the library with a
candle. There wasn’t, so far as I could discover, a
line of his writing in the house.</p>
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