<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0034" id="link2HCH0034"></SPAN></p>
<h2> Chapter XXXIV </h2>
<p>'Yea, happy shall he be that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.'<br/></p>
<p>Sixteen hours had passed. Knight was entering the ladies' boudoir at The
Crags, upon his return from attending the inquest touching the death of
Mrs. Jethway. Elfride was not in the apartment.</p>
<p>Mrs. Swancourt made a few inquiries concerning the verdict and collateral
circumstances. Then she said—</p>
<p>'The postman came this morning the minute after you left the house. There
was only one letter for you, and I have it here.'</p>
<p>She took a letter from the lid of her workbox, and handed it to him.
Knight took the missive abstractedly, but struck by its appearance
murmured a few words and left the room.</p>
<p>The letter was fastened with a black seal, and the handwriting in which it
was addressed had lain under his eyes, long and prominently, only the
evening before.</p>
<p>Knight was greatly agitated, and looked about for a spot where he might be
secure from interruption. It was the season of heavy dews, which lay on
the herbage in shady places all the day long; nevertheless, he entered a
small patch of neglected grass-plat enclosed by the shrubbery, and there
perused the letter, which he had opened on his way thither.</p>
<p>The handwriting, the seal, the paper, the introductory words, all had told
on the instant that the letter had come to him from the hands of the widow
Jethway, now dead and cold. He had instantly understood that the
unfinished notes which caught his eye yesternight were intended for nobody
but himself. He had remembered some of the words of Elfride in her sleep
on the steamer, that somebody was not to tell him of something, or it
would be her ruin—a circumstance hitherto deemed so trivial and
meaningless that he had well-nigh forgotten it. All these things infused
into him an emotion intense in power and supremely distressing in quality.
The paper in his hand quivered as he read:</p>
<p>'THE VALLEY, ENDELSTOW.</p>
<p>'SIR,—A woman who has not much in the world to lose by any censure
this act may bring upon her, wishes to give you some hints concerning a
lady you love. If you will deign to accept a warning before it is too
late, you will notice what your correspondent has to say.</p>
<p>'You are deceived. Can such a woman as this be worthy?</p>
<p>'One who encouraged an honest youth to love her, then slighted him, so
that he died.</p>
<p>'One who next took a man of no birth as a lover, who was forbidden the
house by her father.</p>
<p>'One who secretly left her home to be married to that man, met him, and
went with him to London.</p>
<p>'One who, for some reason or other, returned again unmarried.</p>
<p>'One who, in her after-correspondence with him, went so far as to address
him as her husband.</p>
<p>'One who wrote the enclosed letter to ask me, who better than anybody else
knows the story, to keep the scandal a secret.</p>
<p>'I hope soon to be beyond the reach of either blame or praise. But before
removing me God has put it in my power to avenge the death of my son.</p>
<p>'GERTRUDE JETHWAY.'</p>
<p>The letter enclosed was the note in pencil that Elfride had written in
Mrs. Jethway's cottage:</p>
<p>'DEAR MRS. JETHWAY,—I have been to visit you. I wanted much to see
you, but I cannot wait any longer. I came to beg you not to execute the
threats you have repeated to me. Do not, I beseech you, Mrs. Jethway, let
any one know I ran away from home! It would ruin me with him, and break my
heart. I will do anything for you, if you will be kind to me. In the name
of our common womanhood, do not, I implore you, make a scandal of me.—Yours,</p>
<p>'E. SWANCOURT.</p>
<p>Knight turned his head wearily towards the house. The ground rose rapidly
on nearing the shrubbery in which he stood, raising it almost to a level
with the first floor of The Crags. Elfride's dressing-room lay in the
salient angle in this direction, and it was lighted by two windows in such
a position that, from Knight's standing-place, his sight passed through
both windows, and raked the room. Elfride was there; she was pausing
between the two windows, looking at her figure in the cheval-glass. She
regarded herself long and attentively in front; turned, flung back her
head, and observed the reflection over her shoulder.</p>
<p>Nobody can predicate as to her object or fancy; she may have done the deed
in the very abstraction of deep sadness. She may have been moaning from
the bottom of her heart, 'How unhappy am I!' But the impression produced
on Knight was not a good one. He dropped his eyes moodily. The dead
woman's letter had a virtue in the accident of its juncture far beyond any
it intrinsically exhibited. Circumstance lent to evil words a ring of
pitiless justice echoing from the grave. Knight could not endure their
possession. He tore the letter into fragments.</p>
<p>He heard a brushing among the bushes behind, and turning his head he saw
Elfride following him. The fair girl looked in his face with a wistful
smile of hope, too forcedly hopeful to displace the firmly established
dread beneath it. His severe words of the previous night still sat heavy
upon her.</p>
<p>'I saw you from my window, Harry,' she said timidly.</p>
<p>'The dew will make your feet wet,' he observed, as one deaf.</p>
<p>'I don't mind it.'</p>
<p>'There is danger in getting wet feet.'</p>
<p>'Yes...Harry, what is the matter?'</p>
<p>'Oh, nothing. Shall I resume the serious conversation I had with you last
night? No, perhaps not; perhaps I had better not.'</p>
<p>'Oh, I cannot tell! How wretched it all is! Ah, I wish you were your own
dear self again, and had kissed me when I came up! Why didn't you ask me
for one? why don't you now?'</p>
<p>'Too free in manner by half,' he heard murmur the voice within him.</p>
<p>'It was that hateful conversation last night,' she went on. 'Oh, those
words! Last night was a black night for me.'</p>
<p>'Kiss!—I hate that word! Don't talk of kissing, for God's sake! I
should think you might with advantage have shown tact enough to keep back
that word "kiss," considering those you have accepted.'</p>
<p>She became very pale, and a rigid and desolate charactery took possession
of her face. That face was so delicate and tender in appearance now, that
one could fancy the pressure of a finger upon it would cause a livid spot.</p>
<p>Knight walked on, and Elfride with him, silent and unopposing. He opened a
gate, and they entered a path across a stubble-field.</p>
<p>'Perhaps I intrude upon you?' she said as he closed the gate. 'Shall I go
away?'</p>
<p>'No. Listen to me, Elfride.' Knight's voice was low and unequal. 'I have
been honest with you: will you be so with me? If any—strange—connection
has existed between yourself and a predecessor of mine, tell it now. It is
better that I know it now, even though the knowledge should part us, than
that I should discover it in time to come. And suspicions have been
awakened in me. I think I will not say how, because I despise the means. A
discovery of any mystery of your past would embitter our lives.'</p>
<p>Knight waited with a slow manner of calmness. His eyes were sad and
imperative. They went farther along the path.</p>
<p>'Will you forgive me if I tell you all?' she exclaimed entreatingly.</p>
<p>'I can't promise; so much depends upon what you have to tell.'</p>
<p>Elfride could not endure the silence which followed.</p>
<p>'Are you not going to love me?' she burst out. 'Harry, Harry, love me, and
speak as usual! Do; I beseech you, Harry!'</p>
<p>'Are you going to act fairly by me?' said Knight, with rising anger; 'or
are you not? What have I done to you that I should be put off like this?
Be caught like a bird in a springe; everything intended to be hidden from
me! Why is it, Elfride? That's what I ask you.'</p>
<p>In their agitation they had left the path, and were wandering among the
wet and obstructive stubble, without knowing or heeding it.</p>
<p>'What have I done?' she faltered.</p>
<p>'What? How can you ask what, when you know so well? You KNOW that I have
designedly been kept in ignorance of something attaching to you, which,
had I known of it, might have altered all my conduct; and yet you say,
what?'</p>
<p>She drooped visibly, and made no answer.</p>
<p>'Not that I believe in malicious letter-writers and whisperers; not I. I
don't know whether I do or don't: upon my soul, I can't tell. I know this:
a religion was building itself upon you in my heart. I looked into your
eyes, and thought I saw there truth and innocence as pure and perfect as
ever embodied by God in the flesh of woman. Perfect truth is too much to
expect, but ordinary truth I WILL HAVE or nothing at all. Just say, then;
is the matter you keep back of the gravest importance, or is it not?'</p>
<p>'I don't understand all your meaning. If I have hidden anything from you,
it has been because I loved you so, and I feared—feared—to
lose you.'</p>
<p>'Since you are not given to confidence, I want to ask you some plain
questions. Have I your permission?'</p>
<p>'Yes,' she said, and there came over her face a weary resignation. 'Say
the harshest words you can; I will bear them!'</p>
<p>'There is a scandal in the air concerning you, Elfride; and I cannot even
combat it without knowing definitely what it is. It may not refer to you
entirely, or even at all.' Knight trifled in the very bitterness of his
feeling. 'In the time of the French Revolution, Pariseau, a ballet-master,
was beheaded by mistake for Parisot, a captain of the King's Guard. I wish
there was another "E. Swancourt" in the neighbourhood. Look at this.'</p>
<p>He handed her the letter she had written and left on the table at Mrs.
Jethway's. She looked over it vacantly.</p>
<p>'It is not so much as it seems!' she pleaded. 'It seems wickedly deceptive
to look at now, but it had a much more natural origin than you think. My
sole wish was not to endanger our love. O Harry! that was all my idea. It
was not much harm.'</p>
<p>'Yes, yes; but independently of the poor miserable creature's remarks, it
seems to imply—something wrong.'</p>
<p>'What remarks?'</p>
<p>'Those she wrote me—now torn to pieces. Elfride, DID you run away
with a man you loved?—that was the damnable statement. Has such an
accusation life in it—really, truly, Elfride?'</p>
<p>'Yes,' she whispered.</p>
<p>Knight's countenance sank. 'To be married to him?' came huskily from his
lips.</p>
<p>'Yes. Oh, forgive me! I had never seen you, Harry.'</p>
<p>'To London?'</p>
<p>'Yes; but I——'</p>
<p>'Answer my questions; say nothing else, Elfride Did you ever deliberately
try to marry him in secret?'</p>
<p>'No; not deliberately.'</p>
<p>'But did you do it?'</p>
<p>A feeble red passed over her face.</p>
<p>'Yes,' she said.</p>
<p>'And after that—did you—write to him as your husband; and did
he address you as his wife?'</p>
<p>'Listen, listen! It was——'</p>
<p>'Do answer me; only answer me!'</p>
<p>'Then, yes, we did.' Her lips shook; but it was with some little dignity
that she continued: 'I would gladly have told you; for I knew and know I
had done wrong. But I dared not; I loved you too well. Oh, so well! You
have been everything in the world to me—and you are now. Will you
not forgive me?'</p>
<p>It is a melancholy thought, that men who at first will not allow the
verdict of perfection they pronounce upon their sweethearts or wives to be
disturbed by God's own testimony to the contrary, will, once suspecting
their purity, morally hang them upon evidence they would be ashamed to
admit in judging a dog.</p>
<p>The reluctance to tell, which arose from Elfride's simplicity in thinking
herself so much more culpable than she really was, had been doing fatal
work in Knight's mind. The man of many ideas, now that his first dream of
impossible things was over, vibrated too far in the contrary direction;
and her every movement of feature—every tremor—every confused
word—was taken as so much proof of her unworthiness.</p>
<p>'Elfride, we must bid good-bye to compliment,' said Knight: 'we must do
without politeness now. Look in my face, and as you believe in God above,
tell me truly one thing more. Were you away alone with him?'</p>
<p>'Yes.'</p>
<p>'Did you return home the same day on which you left it?'</p>
<p>'No.'</p>
<p>The word fell like a bolt, and the very land and sky seemed to suffer.
Knight turned aside. Meantime Elfride's countenance wore a look indicating
utter despair of being able to explain matters so that they would seem no
more than they really were,—a despair which not only relinquishes
the hope of direct explanation, but wearily gives up all collateral
chances of extenuation.</p>
<p>The scene was engraved for years on the retina of Knight's eye: the dead
and brown stubble, the weeds among it, the distant belt of beeches
shutting out the view of the house, the leaves of which were now red and
sick to death.</p>
<p>'You must forget me,' he said. 'We shall not marry, Elfride.'</p>
<p>How much anguish passed into her soul at those words from him was told by
the look of supreme torture she wore.</p>
<p>'What meaning have you, Harry? You only say so, do you?'</p>
<p>She looked doubtingly up at him, and tried to laugh, as if the unreality
of his words must be unquestionable.</p>
<p>'You are not in earnest, I know—I hope you are not? Surely I belong
to you, and you are going to keep me for yours?'</p>
<p>'Elfride, I have been speaking too roughly to you; I have said what I
ought only to have thought. I like you; and let me give you a word of
advice. Marry your man as soon as you can. However weary of each other you
may feel, you belong to each other, and I am not going to step between
you. Do you think I would—do you think I could for a moment? If you
cannot marry him now, and another makes you his wife, do not reveal this
secret to him after marriage, if you do not before. Honesty would be
damnation then.'</p>
<p>Bewildered by his expressions, she exclaimed—</p>
<p>'No, no; I will not be a wife unless I am yours; and I must be yours!'</p>
<p>'If we had married——'</p>
<p>'But you don't MEAN—that—that—you will go away and leave
me, and not be anything more to me—oh, you don't!'</p>
<p>Convulsive sobs took all nerve out of her utterance. She checked them, and
continued to look in his face for the ray of hope that was not to be found
there.</p>
<p>'I am going indoors,' said Knight. 'You will not follow me, Elfride; I
wish you not to.'</p>
<p>'Oh no; indeed, I will not.'</p>
<p>'And then I am going to Castle Boterel. Good-bye.'</p>
<p>He spoke the farewell as if it were but for the day—lightly, as he
had spoken such temporary farewells many times before—and she seemed
to understand it as such. Knight had not the power to tell her plainly
that he was going for ever; he hardly knew for certain that he was:
whether he should rush back again upon the current of an irresistible
emotion, or whether he could sufficiently conquer himself, and her in him,
to establish that parting as a supreme farewell, and present himself to
the world again as no woman's.</p>
<p>Ten minutes later he had left the house, leaving directions that if he did
not return in the evening his luggage was to be sent to his chambers in
London, whence he intended to write to Mr. Swancourt as to the reasons of
his sudden departure. He descended the valley, and could not forbear
turning his head. He saw the stubble-field, and a slight girlish figure in
the midst of it—up against the sky. Elfride, docile as ever, had
hardly moved a step, for he had said, Remain. He looked and saw her again—he
saw her for weeks and months. He withdrew his eyes from the scene, swept
his hand across them, as if to brush away the sight, breathed a low groan,
and went on.</p>
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