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<p>Chapter VII. Tom's first royal dinner.</p>
<p>Somewhat after one in the afternoon, Tom resignedly underwent the ordeal
of being dressed for dinner. He found himself as finely clothed as
before, but everything different, everything changed, from his ruff to his
stockings. He was presently conducted with much state to a spacious
and ornate apartment, where a table was already set for one. Its
furniture was all of massy gold, and beautified with designs which
well-nigh made it priceless, since they were the work of Benvenuto. The
room was half-filled with noble servitors. A chaplain said grace,
and Tom was about to fall to, for hunger had long been constitutional with
him, but was interrupted by my lord the Earl of Berkeley, who fastened a
napkin about his neck; for the great post of Diaperers to the Prince of
Wales was hereditary in this nobleman's family. Tom's cupbearer was
present, and forestalled all his attempts to help himself to wine. The
Taster to his highness the Prince of Wales was there also, prepared to
taste any suspicious dish upon requirement, and run the risk of being
poisoned. He was only an ornamental appendage at this time, and was
seldom called upon to exercise his function; but there had been times, not
many generations past, when the office of taster had its perils, and was
not a grandeur to be desired. Why they did not use a dog or a
plumber seems strange; but all the ways of royalty are strange. My
Lord d'Arcy, First Groom of the Chamber, was there, to do goodness knows
what; but there he was—let that suffice. The Lord Chief Butler
was there, and stood behind Tom's chair, overseeing the solemnities, under
command of the Lord Great Steward and the Lord Head Cook, who stood near.
Tom had three hundred and eighty-four servants beside these; but
they were not all in that room, of course, nor the quarter of them;
neither was Tom aware yet that they existed.</p>
<p>All those that were present had been well drilled within the hour to
remember that the prince was temporarily out of his head, and to be
careful to show no surprise at his vagaries. These 'vagaries' were
soon on exhibition before them; but they only moved their compassion and
their sorrow, not their mirth. It was a heavy affliction to them to
see the beloved prince so stricken.</p>
<p>Poor Tom ate with his fingers mainly; but no one smiled at it, or even
seemed to observe it. He inspected his napkin curiously, and with
deep interest, for it was of a very dainty and beautiful fabric, then said
with simplicity—</p>
<p>"Prithee, take it away, lest in mine unheedfulness it be soiled."</p>
<p>The Hereditary Diaperer took it away with reverent manner, and without
word or protest of any sort.</p>
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<p>Tom examined the turnips and the lettuce with interest, and asked what
they were, and if they were to be eaten; for it was only recently that men
had begun to raise these things in England in place of importing them as
luxuries from Holland. {1} His question was answered with grave
respect, and no surprise manifested. When he had finished his
dessert, he filled his pockets with nuts; but nobody appeared to be aware
of it, or disturbed by it. But the next moment he was himself
disturbed by it, and showed discomposure; for this was the only service he
had been permitted to do with his own hands during the meal, and he did
not doubt that he had done a most improper and unprincely thing. At
that moment the muscles of his nose began to twitch, and the end of that
organ to lift and wrinkle. This continued, and Tom began to evince a
growing distress. He looked appealingly, first at one and then
another of the lords about him, and tears came into his eyes. They
sprang forward with dismay in their faces, and begged to know his trouble.
Tom said with genuine anguish—</p>
<p>"I crave your indulgence: my nose itcheth cruelly. What is the
custom and usage in this emergence? Prithee, speed, for 'tis but a
little time that I can bear it."</p>
<p>None smiled; but all were sore perplexed, and looked one to the other in
deep tribulation for counsel. But behold, here was a dead wall, and
nothing in English history to tell how to get over it. The Master of
Ceremonies was not present: there was no one who felt safe to
venture upon this uncharted sea, or risk the attempt to solve this solemn
problem. Alas! there was no Hereditary Scratcher. Meantime the
tears had overflowed their banks, and begun to trickle down Tom's cheeks.
His twitching nose was pleading more urgently than ever for relief.
At last nature broke down the barriers of etiquette: Tom
lifted up an inward prayer for pardon if he was doing wrong, and brought
relief to the burdened hearts of his court by scratching his nose himself.</p>
<p>His meal being ended, a lord came and held before him a broad, shallow,
golden dish with fragrant rosewater in it, to cleanse his mouth and
fingers with; and my lord the Hereditary Diaperer stood by with a napkin
for his use. Tom gazed at the dish a puzzled moment or two, then
raised it to his lips, and gravely took a draught. Then he returned
it to the waiting lord, and said—</p>
<p>"Nay, it likes me not, my lord: it hath a pretty flavour, but it
wanteth strength."</p>
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<p>This new eccentricity of the prince's ruined mind made all the hearts
about him ache; but the sad sight moved none to merriment.</p>
<p>Tom's next unconscious blunder was to get up and leave the table just when
the chaplain had taken his stand behind his chair, and with uplifted
hands, and closed, uplifted eyes, was in the act of beginning the
blessing. Still nobody seemed to perceive that the prince had done a
thing unusual.</p>
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<p>By his own request our small friend was now conducted to his private
cabinet, and left there alone to his own devices. Hanging upon hooks
in the oaken wainscoting were the several pieces of a suit of shining
steel armour, covered all over with beautiful designs exquisitely inlaid
in gold. This martial panoply belonged to the true prince—a
recent present from Madam Parr the Queen. Tom put on the greaves, the
gauntlets, the plumed helmet, and such other pieces as he could don
without assistance, and for a while was minded to call for help and
complete the matter, but bethought him of the nuts he had brought away
from dinner, and the joy it would be to eat them with no crowd to eye him,
and no Grand Hereditaries to pester him with undesired services; so he
restored the pretty things to their several places, and soon was cracking
nuts, and feeling almost naturally happy for the first time since God for
his sins had made him a prince. When the nuts were all gone, he
stumbled upon some inviting books in a closet, among them one about the
etiquette of the English court. This was a prize. He lay down upon a
sumptuous divan, and proceeded to instruct himself with honest zeal.
Let us leave him there for the present.</p>
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<p>Chapter VIII. The Question of the Seal.</p>
<p>About five o'clock Henry VIII. awoke out of an unrefreshing nap, and
muttered to himself, "Troublous dreams, troublous dreams! Mine end is now
at hand: so say these warnings, and my failing pulses do confirm
it." Presently a wicked light flamed up in his eye, and he muttered, "Yet
will not I die till <i>He</i> go before."</p>
<p>His attendants perceiving that he was awake, one of them asked his
pleasure concerning the Lord Chancellor, who was waiting without.</p>
<p>"Admit him, admit him!" exclaimed the King eagerly.</p>
<p>The Lord Chancellor entered, and knelt by the King's couch, saying—</p>
<p>"I have given order, and, according to the King's command, the peers of
the realm, in their robes, do now stand at the bar of the House, where,
having confirmed the Duke of Norfolk's doom, they humbly wait his
majesty's further pleasure in the matter."</p>
<p>The King's face lit up with a fierce joy. Said he—</p>
<p>"Lift me up! In mine own person will I go before my Parliament, and
with mine own hand will I seal the warrant that rids me of—"</p>
<p>His voice failed; an ashen pallor swept the flush from his cheeks; and the
attendants eased him back upon his pillows, and hurriedly assisted him
with restoratives. Presently he said sorrowfully—</p>
<p>"Alack, how have I longed for this sweet hour! and lo, too late it cometh,
and I am robbed of this so coveted chance. But speed ye, speed ye!
let others do this happy office sith 'tis denied to me. I put my Great
Seal in commission: choose thou the lords that shall compose it, and
get ye to your work. Speed ye, man! Before the sun shall rise
and set again, bring me his head that I may see it."</p>
<p>"According to the King's command, so shall it be. Will't please your
majesty to order that the Seal be now restored to me, so that I may forth
upon the business?"</p>
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<p>"The Seal? Who keepeth the Seal but thou?"</p>
<p>"Please your majesty, you did take it from me two days since, saying it
should no more do its office till your own royal hand should use it upon
the Duke of Norfolk's warrant."</p>
<p>"Why, so in sooth I did: I do remember. . . . What did I with it? . . .
I am very feeble. . . . So oft these days doth my memory play the
traitor with me. . . . 'Tis strange, strange—"</p>
<p>The King dropped into inarticulate mumblings, shaking his grey head weakly
from time to time, and gropingly trying to recollect what he had done with
the Seal. At last my Lord Hertford ventured to kneel and offer
information—</p>
<p>"Sire, if that I may be so bold, here be several that do remember with me
how that you gave the Great Seal into the hands of his highness the Prince
of Wales to keep against the day that—"</p>
<p>"True, most true!" interrupted the King. "Fetch it! Go: time
flieth!"</p>
<p>Lord Hertford flew to Tom, but returned to the King before very long,
troubled and empty-handed. He delivered himself to this effect—</p>
<p>"It grieveth me, my lord the King, to bear so heavy and unwelcome tidings;
but it is the will of God that the prince's affliction abideth still, and
he cannot recall to mind that he received the Seal. So came I
quickly to report, thinking it were waste of precious time, and little
worth withal, that any should attempt to search the long array of chambers
and saloons that belong unto his royal high—"</p>
<p>A groan from the King interrupted the lord at this point. After a
little while his majesty said, with a deep sadness in his tone—</p>
<p>"Trouble him no more, poor child. The hand of God lieth heavy upon
him, and my heart goeth out in loving compassion for him, and sorrow that
I may not bear his burden on mine old trouble-weighted shoulders, and so
bring him peace."</p>
<p>He closed his eyes, fell to mumbling, and presently was silent. After a
time he opened his eyes again, and gazed vacantly around until his glance
rested upon the kneeling Lord Chancellor. Instantly his face flushed with
wrath—</p>
<p>"What, thou here yet! By the glory of God, an' thou gettest not
about that traitor's business, thy mitre shall have holiday the morrow for
lack of a head to grace withal!"</p>
<p>The trembling Chancellor answered—</p>
<p>"Good your Majesty, I cry you mercy! I but waited for the Seal."</p>
<p>"Man, hast lost thy wits? The small Seal which aforetime I was wont
to take with me abroad lieth in my treasury. And, since the Great
Seal hath flown away, shall not it suffice? Hast lost thy wits?
Begone! And hark ye—come no more till thou do bring his
head."</p>
<p>The poor Chancellor was not long in removing himself from this dangerous
vicinity; nor did the commission waste time in giving the royal assent to
the work of the slavish Parliament, and appointing the morrow for the
beheading of the premier peer of England, the luckless Duke of Norfolk.</p>
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