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<h2> IX </h2>
<p>At half-past nine one evening that week, Bertram was seated in his
sitting-room at Miss Blake's lodgings, making entries, as usual, on the
subject of taboo in his big black notebook. It was a large bare room,
furnished with the customary round rosewood centre table, and decorated by
a pair of green china vases, a set of wax flowers under a big glass shade,
and a picture representing two mythical beings, with women's faces and
birds' wings, hovering over the figure of a sleeping baby. Suddenly a
hurried knock at the door attracted his attention. "Come in," he said
softly, in that gentle and almost deferential voice which he used alike to
his equals and to the lodging-house servant. The door opened at once, and
Frida entered.</p>
<p>She was pale as a ghost, and she stepped light with a terrified tread.
Bertram could see at a glance she was profoundly agitated. For a moment he
could hardly imagine the reason why: then he remembered all at once the
strict harem rules by which married women in England are hemmed in and
circumvented. To visit an unmarried man alone by night is contrary to
tribal usage. He rose, and advanced towards his visitor with outstretched
arms. "Why, Frida," he cried,—"Mrs. Monteith—no, Frida—what's
the matter? What has happened since I left? You look so pale and
startled."</p>
<p>Frida closed the door cautiously, flung herself down into a chair in a
despairing attitude, and buried her face in her hands for some moments in
silence. "O Mr. Ingledew," she cried at last, looking up in an agony of
shame and doubt: "Bertram—I KNOW it's wrong; I KNOW it's wicked; I
ought never to have come. Robert would kill me if he found out. But it's
my one last chance, and I couldn't BEAR not to say good-bye to you—just
this once—for ever."</p>
<p>Bertram gazed at her in astonishment. Long and intimately as he had lived
among the various devotees of divine taboos the whole world over, it was
with difficulty still he could recall, each time, each particular
restriction of the various systems. Then it came home to him with a rush.
He removed the poor girl's hands gently from her face, which she had
buried once more in them for pure shame, and held them in his own. "Dear
Frida," he said tenderly, stroking them as he spoke, "why, what does all
this mean? What's this sudden thunderbolt? You've come here to-night
without your husband's leave, and you're afraid he'll discover you?"</p>
<p>Frida spoke under her breath, in a voice half-choked with frequent sobs.
"Don't talk too loud," she whispered. "Miss Blake doesn't know I'm here.
If she did, she'd tell on me. I slipped in quietly through the open back
door. But I felt I MUST—I really, really MUST. I COULDN'T stop away;
I COULDN'T help it."</p>
<p>Bertram gazed at her, distressed. Her tone was distressing. Horror and
indignation for a moment overcame him. She had had to slip in there like a
fugitive or a criminal. She had had to crawl away by stealth from that
man, her keeper. She, a grown woman and a moral agent, with a will of her
own and a heart and a conscience, was held so absolutely in serfdom as a
particular man's thrall and chattel, that she could not even go out to
visit a friend without these degrading subterfuges of creeping in
unperceived by a back entrance, and talking low under her breath, lest a
lodging-house crone should find out what she was doing. And all the world
of England was so banded in league with the slave-driver against the soul
he enslaved, that if Miss Blake had seen her she could hardly have come
in: while, once in, she must tremble and whisper and steal about with
muffled feet, for fear of discovery in this innocent adventure. He held
his breath with stifled wrath. It was painful and degrading.</p>
<p>But he had no time just then to think much of all this, for there sat
Frida, tremulous and shivering before his very eyes, trying hard to hide
her beautiful white face in her quivering hands, and murmuring over and
over again in a very low voice, like an agonised creature, "I couldn't
BEAR not to be allowed to say good-bye to you for ever."</p>
<p>Bertram smoothed her cheek gently. She tried to prevent him, but he went
on in spite of her, with a man's strong persistence. Notwithstanding his
gentleness he was always virile. "Good-bye!" he cried. "Good-bye! why on
earth good-bye, Frida? When I left you before dinner you never said one
word of it to me."</p>
<p>"Oh, no," Frida cried, sobbing. "It's all Robert, Robert! As soon as ever
you were gone, he called me into the library—which always means he's
going to talk over some dreadful business with me—and he said to me,
'Frida, I've just heard from Phil that this man Ingledew, who's chosen to
foist himself upon us, holds opinions and sentiments which entirely unfit
him from being proper company for any lady. Now, he's been coming here a
great deal too often of late. Next time he calls, I wish you to tell
Martha you're not at home to him.'"</p>
<p>Bertram looked across at her with a melting look in his honest blue eyes.
"And you came round to tell me of it, you dear thing!" he cried, seizing
her hand and grasping it hard. "O Frida, how kind of you!"</p>
<p>Frida trembled from head to foot. The blood throbbed in her pulse. "Then
you're not vexed with me," she sobbed out, all tremulous with gladness.</p>
<p>"Vexed with you! O Frida, how could I be vexed? You poor child! I'm so
pleased, so glad, so grateful!"</p>
<p>Frida let her hand rest unresisting in his. "But, Bertram," she murmured,—"I
MUST call you Bertram—I couldn't help it, you know. I like you so
much, I couldn't let you go for ever without just saying good-bye to you."</p>
<p>"You DON'T like me; you LOVE me," Bertram answered with masculine
confidence. "No, you needn't blush, Frida; you can't deceive me.... My
darling, you love me, and you know I love you. Why should we two make any
secret about our hearts any longer?" He laid his hand on her face again,
making it tingle with joy. "Frida," he said solemnly, "you don't love that
man you call your husband.... You haven't loved him for years.... You
never really loved him."</p>
<p>There was something about the mere sound of Bertram's calm voice that made
Frida speak the truth more plainly and frankly than she could ever have
spoken it to any ordinary Englishman. Yet she hung down her head, even so,
and hesitated slightly. "Just at first," she murmured half-inaudibly, "I
used to THINK I loved him. At any rate, I was pleased and flattered he
should marry me."</p>
<p>"Pleased and flattered!" Bertram exclaimed, more to himself than to her;
"great Heavens, how incredible! Pleased and flattered by that man! One can
hardly conceive it! But you've never loved him since, Frida. You can't
look me in the face and tell me you love him."</p>
<p>"No, not since the first few months," Frida answered, still hanging her
head. "But, Bertram, he's my husband, and of course I must obey him."</p>
<p>"You must do nothing of the sort," Bertram cried authoritatively. "You
don't love him at all, and you mustn't pretend to. It's wrong: it's
wicked. Sooner or later—" He checked himself. "Frida," he went on,
after a moment's pause, "I won't speak to you of what I was going to say
just now. I'll wait a bit till you're stronger and better able to
understand it. But there must be no more silly talk of farewells between
us. I won't allow it. You're mine now—a thousand times more truly
mine than ever you were Monteith's; and I can't do without you. You must
go back to your husband for the present, I suppose,—the
circumstances compel it, though I don't approve of it; but you must see me
again... and soon... and often, just the same as usual. I won't go to your
house, of course: the house is Monteith's; and everywhere among civilised
and rational races the sanctity of the home is rightly respected. But YOU
yourself he has no claim or right to taboo; and if <i>I</i> can help it,
he shan't taboo you. You may go home now to-night, dear one; but you must
meet me often. If you can't come round to my rooms—for fear of Miss
Blake's fetich, the respectability of her house—we must meet
elsewhere, till I can make fresh arrangements."</p>
<p>Frida gazed up at him in doubt. "But will it be RIGHT, Bertram?" she
murmured.</p>
<p>The man looked down into her big eyes in dazed astonishment. "Why, Frida,"
he cried, half-pained at the question, "do you think if it were WRONG I'd
advise you to do it? I'm here to help you, to guide you, to lead you on by
degrees to higher and truer life. How can you imagine I'd ask you to do
anything on earth unless I felt perfectly sure and convinced it was the
very most right and proper conduct?"</p>
<p>His arm stole round her waist and drew her tenderly towards him. Frida
allowed the caress passively. There was a robust frankness about his
love-making that seemed to rob it of all taint or tinge of evil. Then he
caught her bodily in his arms like a man who has never associated the
purest and noblest of human passions with any lower thought, any baser
personality. He had not taken his first lessons in the art of love from
the wearied lips of joyless courtesans whom his own kind had debased and
unsexed and degraded out of all semblance of womanhood. He bent over the
woman of his choice and kissed her with chaste warmth. On the forehead
first, then, after a short interval, twice on the lips. At each kiss, from
which she somehow did not shrink, as if recognising its purity, Frida felt
a strange thrill course through and through her. She quivered from head to
foot. The scales fell from her eyes. The taboos of her race grew null and
void within her. She looked up at him more boldly. "O Bertram," she
whispered, nestling close to his side, and burying her blushing face in
the man's curved bosom, "I don't know what you've done to me, but I feel
quite different—as if I'd eaten the fruit of the tree of knowledge
of good and evil."</p>
<p>"I hope you have," Bertram answered, in a very solemn voice; "for, Frida,
you will need it." He pressed her close against his breast; and Frida
Monteith, a free woman at last, clung there many minutes with no vile
inherited sense of shame or wrongfulness. "I can't bear to go," she cried,
still clinging to him and clutching him tight. "I'm so happy here,
Bertram; oh, so happy, so happy!"</p>
<p>"Then why go away at all?" Bertram asked, quite simply.</p>
<p>Frida drew back in horror. "Oh, I must," she said, coming to herself: "I
must, of course, because of Robert."</p>
<p>Bertram held her hand, smoothing it all the while with his own, as he
mused and hesitated. "Well, it's clearly wrong to go back," he said, after
a moment's pause. "You ought never, of course, to spend another night with
that man you don't love and should never have lived with. But I suppose
that's only a counsel of perfection: too hard a saying for you to
understand or follow for the present. You'd better go back, just to-night:
and, as time moves on, I can arrange something else for you. But when
shall I see you again?—for now you belong to me. I sealed you with
that kiss. When will you come and see me?"</p>
<p>"I can't come here, you know," Frida whispered, half-terrified; "for if I
did, Miss Blake would see me."</p>
<p>Bertram smiled a bitter smile to himself. "So she would," he said, musing.
"And though she's not the least interested in keeping up Robert Monteith's
proprietary claim on your life and freedom, I'm beginning to understand
now that it would be an offence against that mysterious and
incomprehensible entity they call RESPECTABILITY if she were to allow me
to receive you in her rooms. It's all very curious. But, of course, while
I remain, I must be content to submit to it. By-and-by, perhaps, Frida, we
two may manage to escape together from this iron generation. Meanwhile, I
shall go up to London less often for the present, and you can come and
meet me, dear, in the Middle Mill Fields at two o'clock on Monday."</p>
<p>She gazed up at him with perfect trust in those luminous dark eyes of
hers. "I will, Bertram," she said firmly. She knew not herself what his
kiss had done for her; but one thing she knew: from the moment their lips
met, she had felt and understood in a flood of vision that perfect love
which casteth out fear, and was no longer afraid of him.</p>
<p>"That's right, darling," the man answered, stooping down and laying his
cheek against her own once more. "You are mine, and I am yours. You are
not and never were Robert Monteith's, my Frida. So now, good-night, till
Monday at two, beside the stile in Middle Mill Meadows!"</p>
<p>She clung to him for a moment in a passionate embrace. He let her stop
there, while he smoothed her dark hair with one free hand. Then suddenly,
with a burst, the older feelings of her race overcame her for a minute;
she broke from his grasp and hid her head, all crimson, in a cushion on
the sofa. One second later, again, she lifted her face unabashed. The new
impulse stirred her. "I'm proud I love you, Bertram," she cried, with red
lips and flashing eyes; "and I'm proud you love me!"</p>
<p>With that, she slipped quietly out, and walked, erect and graceful, no
longer ashamed, down the lodging-house passage.</p>
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