<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0144" id="link2H_4_0144"></SPAN></p>
<h2> LETTER CXLII </h2>
<h3> LONDON, May 10, O. S. 1751. </h3>
<p>MY DEAR FRIEND: I received yesterday, at the same time, your letters of
the 4th and 11th, N. S., and being much more careful of my commissions
than you are of yours, I do not delay one moment sending you my final
instructions concerning the pictures. The man you allow to be a Titian,
and in good preservation; the woman is an indifferent and a damaged
picture; but as I want them for furniture for a particular room,
companions are necessary; and therefore I am willing to take the woman for
better for worse, upon account of the man; and if she is not too much
damaged, I can have her tolerably repaired, as many a fine woman is, by a
skillful hand here; but then I expect that the lady should be, in a
manner, thrown into the bargain with the man; and, in this state of
affairs, the woman being worth little or nothing, I will not go above
fourscore Louis for the two together. As for the Rembrandt you mention,
though it is very cheap, if good, I do not care for it. I love 'la belle
nature'; Rembrandt paints caricatures. Now for your own commissions, which
you seem to have forgotten. You mention nothing of the patterns which you
received by Monsieur Tollot, though I told you in a former letter, which
you must have had before the date of your last, that I should stay till I
received the patterns pitched upon by your ladies; for as to the
instructions which you sent me in Madame Monconseil's hand, I could find
no mohairs in London that exactly answered that description; I shall,
therefore, wait till you send me (which you may easily do in a letter) the
patterns chosen by your three graces.</p>
<p>I would, by all means, have you go now and then, for two or three days, to
Marechal Coigny's, at Orli; it is but a proper civility to that family,
which has been particularly civil to you; and, moreover, I would have you
familiarize yourself with, and learn the interior and domestic manners of,
people of that rank and fashion. I also desire that you will frequent
Versailles and St. Cloud, at both of which courts you have been received
with distinction. Profit of that distinction, and familiarize yourself at
both. Great courts are the seats of true good-breeding; you are to live at
courts, lose no time in learning them. Go and stay sometimes at Versailles
for three or four days, where you will be domestic in the best families,
by means of your friend Madame de Puisieux; and mine, l'Abbe de la Ville.
Go to the King's and the Dauphin's levees, and distinguish yourself from
the rest of your countrymen, who, I dare say, never go there when they can
help it. Though the young Frenchmen of fashion may not be worth forming
intimate connections with, they are well worth making acquaintance of; and
I do not see how you can avoid it, frequenting so many good French houses
as you do, where, to be sure, many of them come. Be cautious how you
contract friendships, but be desirous, and even industrious, to obtain a
universal acquaintance. Be easy, and even forward, in making new
acquaintances; that is the only way of knowing manners and characters in
general, which is, at present, your great object. You are 'enfant de
famille' in three ministers' houses; but I wish you had a footing, at
least, in thirteen and that, I should think, you might easily bring about,
by that common chain, which, to a certain degree, connects those you do
not with those you do know.</p>
<p>For instance, I suppose that neither Lord Albemarle, nor Marquis de St.
Germain, would make the least difficulty to present you to Comte Caunitz,
the Nuncio, etc. 'Il faut etre rompu du monde', which can only be done by
an extensive, various, and almost universal acquaintance.</p>
<p>When you have got your emaciated Philomath, I desire that his triangles,
rhomboids, etc., may not keep you one moment out of the good company you
would otherwise be in. Swallow all your learning in the morning, but
digest it in company in the evenings. The reading of ten new characters is
more your business now, than the reading of twenty old books; showish and
shining people always get the better of all others, though ever so solid.
If you would be a great man in the world when you are old, shine and be
showish in it while you are young, know everybody, and endeavor to please
everybody, I mean exteriorly; for fundamentally it is impossible. Try to
engage the heart of every woman, and the affections of almost every man
you meet with. Madame Monconseil assures me that you are most surprisingly
improved in your air, manners, and address: go on, my dear child, and
never think that you are come to a sufficient degree of perfection; 'Nil
actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum'; and in those shining parts of
the character of a gentleman, there is always something remaining to be
acquired. Modes and manners vary in different places, and at different
times; you must keep pace with them, know them, and adopt them, wherever
you find them. The great usage of the world, the knowledge of characters,
the brillant dun 'galant homme,' is all that you now want. Study Marcel
and the 'beau monde' with great application, but read Homer and Horace
only when you have nothing else to do. Pray who is 'la belle Madame de
Case', whom I know you frequent? I like the epithet given her very well:
if she deserves it, she deserves your attention too. A man of fashion
should be gallant to a fine woman, though he does not make love to her, or
may be otherwise engaged. On 'lui doit des politesses, on fait l'eloge de
ses charmes, et il n'en est ni plus ni moins pour cela': it pleases, it
flatters; you get their good word, and you lose nothing by it. These
'gentillesses' should be accompanied, as indeed everything else should,
with an air: 'un air, un ton de douceur et de politesse'. Les graces must
be of the party, or it will never do; and they are so easily had, that it
is astonishing to me that everybody has them not; they are sooner gained
than any woman of common reputation and decency. Pursue them but with care
and attention, and you are sure to enjoy them at last: without them, I am
sure, you will never enjoy anybody else. You observe, truly, that Mr.———is
gauche; it is to be hoped that will mend with keeping company; and is yet
pardonable in him, as just come from school. But reflect what you would
think of a man, who had been any time in the world, and yet should be so
awkward. For God's sake, therefore, now think of nothing but shining, and
even distinguishing yourself in the most polite courts, by your air, your
address, your manners, your politeness, your 'douceur', your graces. With
those advantages (and not without them) take my word for it, you will get
the better of all rivals, in business as well as in 'ruelles'. Adieu. Send
me your patterns, by the next post, and also your instructions to
Grevenkop about the seal, which you seem to have forgotten.</p>
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