<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0169" id="link2H_4_0169"></SPAN></p>
<h2> LETTER CLXVII </h2>
<h3> LONDON, May 27, O. S. 1752 </h3>
<p>MY DEAR FRIEND: I send you the inclosed original from a friend of ours,
with my own commentaries upon the text; a text which I have so often
paraphrased, and commented upon already, that I believe I can hardly say
anything new upon it; but, however, I cannot give it over till I am better
convinced, than I yet am, that you feel all the utility, the importance,
and the necessity of it; nay, not only feel, but practice it. Your
panegyrist allows you, what most fathers would be more than satisified
with, in a son, and chides me for not contenting myself with
'l'essentiellement bon'; but I, who have been in no one respect like other
fathers, cannot neither, like them, content myself with 'l'essentiellement
bon'; because I know that it will not do your business in the world, while
you want 'quelques couches de vernis'. Few fathers care much for their
sons, or, at least, most of them care more for their money: and,
consequently, content themselves with giving them, at the cheapest rate,
the common run of education: that is, a school till eighteen; the
university till twenty; and a couple of years riding post through the
several towns of Europe; impatient till their boobies come home to be
married, and, as they call it, settled. Of those who really love their
sons, few know how to do it. Some spoil them by fondling them while they
are young, and then quarrel with them when they are grown up, for having
been spoiled; some love them like mothers, and attend only to the bodily
health and strength of the hopes of their family, solemnize his birthday,
and rejoice, like the subjects of the Great Mogul, at the increase of his
bulk; while others, minding, as they think, only essentials, take pains
and pleasure to see in their heir, all their favorite weaknesses and
imperfections. I hope and believe that I have kept clear of all of these
errors in the education which I have given you. No weaknesses of my own
have warped it, no parsimony has starved it, no rigor has deformed it.
Sound and extensive learning was the foundation which I meant to lay—I
have laid it; but that alone, I knew, would by no means be sufficient: the
ornamental, the showish, the pleasing superstructure was to be begun. In
that view, I threw you into the great world, entirely your own master, at
an age when others either guzzle at the university, or are sent abroad in
servitude to some awkward, pedantic Scotch governor. This was to put you
in the way, and the only way of acquiring those manners, that address, and
those graces, which exclusively distinguish people of fashion; and without
which all moral virtues, and all acquired learning, are of no sort of use
in the courts and 'le beau monde': on the contrary, I am not sure if they
are not an hindrance. They are feared and disliked in those places, as too
severe, if not smoothed and introduced by the graces; but of these graces,
of this necessary 'beau vernis', it seems there are still 'quelque couches
qui manquent'. Now, pray let me ask you, coolly and seriously, 'pourquoi
ces couches manquent-elles'? For you may as easily take them, as you may
wear more or less powder in your hair, more or less lace upon your coat. I
can therefore account for your wanting them no other way in the world,
than from your not being yet convinced of their full value. You have heard
some English bucks say, "Damn these finical outlandish airs, give me a
manly, resolute manner. They make a rout with their graces, and talk like
a parcel of dancing-masters, and dress like a parcel of fops: one good
Englishman will beat three of them." But let your own observation
undeceive you of these prejudices. I will give you one instance only,
instead of an hundred that I could give you, of a very shining fortune and
figure, raised upon no other foundation whatsoever, than that of address,
manners, and graces. Between you and me (for this example must go no
further), what do you think made our friend, Lord A——e,
Colonel of a regiment of guards, Governor of Virginia, Groom of the Stole,
and Ambassador to Paris; amounting in all to sixteen or seventeen thousand
pounds a year? Was it his birth? No, a Dutch gentleman only. Was it his
estate? No, he had none. Was it his learning, his parts, his political
abilities and application? You can answer these questions as easily, and
as soon, as I can ask them. What was it then? Many people wondered, but I
do not; for I know, and will tell you. It was his air, his address, his
manners, and his graces. He pleased, and by pleasing he became a favorite;
and by becoming a favorite became all that he has been since. Show me any
one instance, where intrinsic worth and merit, unassisted by exterior
accomplishments, have raised any man so high. You know the Due de
Richelieu, now 'Marechal, Cordon bleu, Gentilhomme de la Chambre', twice
Ambassador, etc. By what means? Not by the purity of his character, the
depth of his knowledge, or any uncommon penetration and sagacity. Women
alone formed and raised him. The Duchess of Burgundy took a fancy to him,
and had him before he was sixteen years old; this put him in fashion among
the beau monde: and the late Regent's oldest daughter, now Madame de
Modene, took him next, and was near marrying him. These early connections
with women of the first distinction gave him those manners, graces, and
address, which you see he has; and which, I can assure you, are all that
he has; for, strip him of them, and he will be one of the poorest men in
Europe. Man or woman cannot resist an engaging exterior; it will please,
it will make its way. You want, it seems, but 'quelques couches'; for
God's sake, lose no time in getting them; and now you have gone so far,
complete the work. Think of nothing else till that work is finished;
unwearied application will bring about anything: and surely your
application can never be so well employed as upon that object, which is
absolutely necessary to facilitate all others. With your knowledge and
parts, if adorned by manners and graces, what may you not hope one day to
be? But without them, you will be in the situation of a man who should be
very fleet of one leg but very lame of the other. He could not run; the
lame leg would check and clog the well one, which would be very near
useless.</p>
<p>From my original plan for your education, I meant to make you 'un homme
universel'; what depends on me is executed, the little that remains undone
depends singly upon you. Do not then disappoint, when you can so easily
gratify me. It is your own interest which I am pressing you to pursue, and
it is the only return that I desire for all the care and affection of,
Yours.</p>
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