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<h1>THE SLANT BOOK</h1>
<h2>By PETER NEWELL</h2>
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<p>Where Bobby lives there is a hill—<br/>
A hill so steep and high,<br/>
'Twould fill the bill for Jack and Jill<br/>
Their famous act to try<br/>
<br/>
Once Bobby's Go-cart broke away<br/>
And down this hill it kited.<br/>
The careless Nurse screamed in dismay<br/>
But Bobby was delighted<br/>
<br/>
He clapped his hands, in manner rude,<br/>
And laughed in high elation—<br/>
While, close behind, the Nurse pursued<br/>
In hopeless consternation<br/></p>
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<p>An Officer slid off the lid<br/>
As Bobby hove in sight,<br/>
And bellowed out, "You're scorchin', kid—<br/>
I'll run you in all right!"<br/>
<br/>
But down the Go-cart swiftly sped<br/>
And smashed that Cop completely,<br/>
And as he sailed o'er Bobby's head<br/>
Bob snipped a button neatly!<br/></p>
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<p>A funny Son of sunny Greece<br/>
Was standing near the curb,<br/>
Beside his push-cart, wrapped in peace,<br/>
That naught could well disturb<br/>
<br/>
But all at once he got a shock—<br/>
The Go-cart speeding down,<br/>
Collided with his fancy stock<br/>
And littered up the town!<br/></p>
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The runaway then swerved a bit<br/>
And snapped a Hydrant, short;<br/>
Which accident proved quite a hit<br/>
Of rather novel sort<br/>
<br/>
The Water spouted in a jet<br/>
As much as ten feet high,<br/>
And all were soaked and nearly choked<br/>
Who chanced to be nearby!<br/></p>
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<p>A farmer's wife, Miss' Angy Moore,<br/>
Was trudging up the grade.<br/>
A basketful of eggs she bore<br/>
To barter with in trade<br/>
<br/>
The Go-cart and the Lady met<br/>
(Informally, no doubt)<br/>
And made a sort of omelette<br/>
And spread it round about!<br/></p>
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<p>A Painter on a ladder perched,<br/>
Was working at his calling—<br/>
Against its foot the Go-cart lurched<br/>
And sent the fellow sprawling<br/>
<br/>
His pot of paint came tumbling down<br/>
And wrong side up, it settled<br/>
About a Chappie's flaxen crown—<br/>
Oh, my! but he was nettled!<br/></p>
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<p>A German Band across the street<br/>
Its way was slowly wending,<br/>
Which was a movement indiscreet,<br/>
The way that things were tending<br/>
<br/>
The Go-cart struck the bass drum square,<br/>
And passed completely through it.<br/>
The Drummer madly tore his hair<br/>
And said, "Vy did you do it?"<br/></p>
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<p>Some Workingmen were putting in<br/>
A heavy plate-glass front.<br/>
The Go-cart then came rushing in<br/>
And did its little stunt<br/>
<br/>
It smashed to bits a crystal pane<br/>
Two sweating men were bearing,<br/>
And sped on down the slanting plane<br/>
And left them mad and swearing!<br/></p>
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<p>An automobile big and brown<br/>
Was chugging up the hill,<br/>
And met the Go-cart plunging down<br/>
With speed that boded ill<br/>
<br/>
At once there rose a noise and din<br/>
Of people in dismay.<br/>
A Sandwich-man then butted in<br/>
And opened up a way!<br/></p>
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<p>A Lad was rushing with a Hat<br/>
Some Lady had been buying—<br/>
The Go-cart caught—and laid him flat,<br/>
And sent the hat-box flying<br/>
<br/>
The Hat fell out and settled down<br/>
Upon our Bobby's head.<br/>
"Say, I'm the swellest kid in town!"<br/>
The precious rascal said<br/></p>
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<p>A Newsboy next was somehow hit—<br/>
The Go-cart, swift and dextrous,<br/>
Contrived to muss him up a bit<br/>
And fill the air with extras<br/>
<br/>
One copy Bobby neatly scooped,<br/>
And saw this wild display,<br/>
In type so bold it fairly whooped:<br/>
"A GO-CART BREAKS AWAY!"<br/></p>
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<p>Then as the Go-cart speeded by,<br/>
A Bulldog, quite pugnacious,<br/>
Seized on the handle on the fly<br/>
And clung with grip tenacious<br/>
<br/>
The Go-cart's speed was so increased<br/>
The Dog streamed out behind it,<br/>
And Bobby turned to pet the beast<br/>
Which didn't seem to mind it!<br/></p>
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<p>Perambulating down the street<br/>
Was Miss Lucile O'Grady—<br/>
The Go-cart knocked her off her feet<br/>
And took on board the Lady<br/>
<br/>
"Your fare!" said Bobby, with a shout,<br/>
One chubby hand extending.<br/>
But Miss O'Grady tumbled out<br/>
With shrieks the heavens rending<br/></p>
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<p>A Herder up the weary grade<br/>
A yearling Calf was leading.<br/>
The creature was a stubborn jade<br/>
And lunged about, unheeding<br/>
<br/>
The Go-cart caught the rope midway<br/>
Between the Calf and Herder,<br/>
And both fell in behind the shay<br/>
With cries of "Ba-a!" and "Murder!"<br/></p>
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<p>Two Chappies at a tennis meet<br/>
Were battling fast and hard—<br/>
The Go-cart skidded off the street<br/>
And shot across the yard<br/>
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The game was "forty all," but then<br/>
It didn't end that day—<br/>
The Go-cart dashed into the net<br/>
And carried it away!<br/></p>
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<p>On came the Go-cart down the grade<br/>
(The town was now behind it)<br/>
And ran into an orchard's shade<br/>
Where Providence resigned it!<br/>
<br/>
But then it only grazed a tree<br/>
And set it all a-shiver;<br/>
The ripened fruit fell merrily<br/>
And likewise Sammy Sliver!<br/></p>
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<p>Then through a Watermelon patch<br/>
This awful cart descended,<br/>
And split the melons by the batch—<br/>
The Farmer was offended<br/>
<br/>
And tried to stop its wild career,<br/>
Which was a silly notion—<br/>
It passed him promptly to the rear<br/>
With quite a rapid motion!<br/></p>
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<p>A Picnic Party on the green<br/>
Were seated at their lunch—<br/>
The Go-cart dashed upon the scene<br/>
And through the happy bunch!<br/>
<br/>
Sardines and pickles, ham and cake,<br/>
Were jumbled in a mess,<br/>
Then straightway rose these Picnickers<br/>
And shouted for redress!<br/></p>
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<p>An Artist sketching on the slope<br/>
A lively air was humming,<br/>
And so absorbed was he, he failed<br/>
To note the Go-cart coming<br/>
<br/>
A crash! The circumambient air<br/>
Was filled with miscellany,<br/>
And damaged quite beyond repair<br/>
Was Cremnitz White Mulvaney!<br/></p>
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<p>A Damsel milked a brindled Cow<br/>
Out in a pasture green,<br/>
The Birdies sang from bush and bough—<br/>
All Nature was serene<br/>
<br/>
When suddenly a thunderbolt<br/>
Dispelled the sweet illusion—<br/>
The Go-cart gave the twain a jolt,<br/>
And all was wild confusion!<br/></p>
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<p>Upon a rustic bridge a Chap<br/>
Cast out a bait inviting,<br/>
And presently he took a nap<br/>
And dreamed the fish were biting<br/>
<br/>
Then came the Go-cart like a gale<br/>
And rudely him awakened—<br/>
At first he thought he'd caught a whale,<br/>
But found he was mistaken!<br/></p>
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<p>The longest night must have an end<br/>
As well as a beginning;<br/>
And so this Cart, you may depend,<br/>
Was bound to cease its spinning<br/>
<br/>
It crashed into a hemlock Stump<br/>
That chanced to block its way,<br/>
And Bobby made a flying jump<br/>
And landed in the hay!<br/></p>
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