<SPAN name="chap03"></SPAN>
<h3> CHAPTER III </h3>
<h3> HE SHOWS HIMSELF </h3>
<p>I too, looked at the cottage, and made a discovery that surprised me at
one of the upper windows.</p>
<p>If I could be sure that the moon had not deceived me, the most beautiful
face that I had ever seen was looking down on us—and it was the face of
a man! By the uncertain light I could discern the perfection of form in
the features, and the expression of power which made it impossible to
mistake the stranger for a woman, although his hair grew long and he was
without either moustache or beard. He was watching us intently; he
neither moved nor spoke when we looked up at him.</p>
<p>"Evidently the lodger," I whispered to Cristel. "What a handsome man!"</p>
<p>She tossed her head contemptuously: my expression of admiration seemed to
have irritated her.</p>
<p>"I didn't want him to see you!" she said. "The lodger persecutes me with
his attentions; he's impudent enough to be jealous of me."</p>
<p>She spoke without even attempting to lower her voice. I endeavored to
warn her. "He's at the window still," I said, in tones discreetly
lowered; "he can hear everything you are saying."</p>
<p>"Not one word of it, Mr. Gerard."</p>
<p>"What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"The man is deaf. Don't look at him again. Don't speak to me again. Go
home—pray go home!"</p>
<p>Without further explanation, she abruptly entered the cottage, and shut
the door.</p>
<p>As I turned into the path which led through the wood I heard a voice
behind me. It said: "Stop, sir." I stopped directly, standing in the
shadow cast by the outermost line of trees, which I had that moment
reached. In the moonlight that I had left behind me, I saw again the man
whom I had discovered at the window. His figure, tall and slim; his
movements, graceful and easy, were in harmony with his beautiful face. He
lifted his long finely-shaped hands, and clasped them with a frantic
gesture of entreaty.</p>
<p>"For God's sake," he said, "don't be offended with me!"</p>
<p>His voice startled me even more than his words; I had never heard
anything like it before. Low, dull, and muffled, it neither rose nor
fell; it spoke slowly and deliberately, without laying the slightest
emphasis on any one of the words that it uttered. In the astonishment of
the moment, I forgot what Cristel had told me. I answered him as I should
have answered any other unknown person who had spoken to me.</p>
<p>"What do you want?"</p>
<p>His hands dropped; his head sunk on his breast. "You are speaking, sir,
to a miserable creature who can't hear you. I am deaf."</p>
<p>I stepped nearer to him, intending to raise my voice in pity for his
infirmity. He shuddered, and signed to me to keep back.</p>
<p>"Don't come close to my ear; don't shout." As he spoke, strong excitement
flashed at me in his eyes, without producing the slightest change in his
voice. "I don't deny," he resumed, "that I can hear sometimes when people
take that way with me. They hurt when they do it. Their voices go through
my nerves as a knife might go through my flesh. I live at the mill, sir;
I have a great favour to ask. Will you come and speak to me in my
room—for five minutes only?"</p>
<p>I hesitated. Any other man in my place, would, I think, have done the
same; receiving such an invitation as this from a stranger, whose
pitiable infirmity seemed to place him beyond the pale of social
intercourse.</p>
<p>He must have guessed what was passing in my mind; he tried me again in
words which might have proved persuasive, had they been uttered in the
customary variety of tone.</p>
<p>"I can't help being a stranger to you; I can't help being deaf. You're a
young man. You look more merciful and more patient than young men in
general. Won't you hear what I have to say? Won't you tell me what I want
to know?"</p>
<p>How were we to communicate? Did he by any chance suppose that I had
learnt the finger alphabet? I touched my fingers and shook my head, as a
means of dissipating his delusion, if it existed.</p>
<p>He instantly understood me.</p>
<p>"Even if you knew the finger alphabet," he said, "it would be of no use.
I have been too miserable to learn it—my deafness only came on me a
little more than a year since. Pardon me if I am obliged to give you
trouble—I ask persons who pity me to write their answers when I speak to
them. Come to my room, and you will find what you want—a candle to write
by."</p>
<p>Was his will, as compared with mine, the stronger will of the two? And
was it helped (insensibly to myself) by his advantages of personal
appearance? I can only confess that his apology presented a picture of
misery to my mind, which shook my resolution to refuse him. His ready
penetration discovered this change in his favour: he at once took
advantage of it. "Five minutes of your time is all I ask for," he said.
"Won't you indulge a man who sees his fellow-creatures all talking
happily round him, and feels dead and buried among them?"</p>
<p>The very exaggeration of his language had its effect on my mind. It
revealed to me the horrible isolation among humanity of the deaf, as I
had never understood it yet. Discretion is, I am sorry to say, not one of
the strong points in my character. I committed one more among the many
foolish actions of my life; I signed to the stranger to lead the way back
to the mill.</p>
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