<p>Francis was reminding Stephen of years before when they had been at school
together in Conmee’s time. He asked about Glaucon, Alcibiades, Pisistratus.
Where were they now? Neither knew. You have spoken of the past and its
phantoms, Stephen said. Why think of them? If I call them into life across the
waters of Lethe will not the poor ghosts troop to my call? Who supposes it? I,
Bous Stephanoumenos, bullockbefriending bard, am lord and giver of their life.
He encircled his gadding hair with a coronal of vineleaves, smiling at Vincent.
That answer and those leaves, Vincent said to him, will adorn you more fitly
when something more, and greatly more, than a capful of light odes can call
your genius father. All who wish you well hope this for you. All desire to see
you bring forth the work you meditate, to acclaim you Stephaneforos. I heartily
wish you may not fail them. O no, Vincent Lenehan said, laying a hand on the
shoulder near him. Have no fear. He could not leave his mother an orphan. The
young man’s face grew dark. All could see how hard it was for him to be
reminded of his promise and of his recent loss. He would have withdrawn from
the feast had not the noise of voices allayed the smart. Madden had lost five
drachmas on Sceptre for a whim of the rider’s name: Lenehan as much more. He
told them of the race. The flag fell and, huuh! off, scamper, the mare ran out
freshly with O. Madden up. She was leading the field. All hearts were beating.
Even Phyllis could not contain herself. She waved her scarf and cried: Huzzah!
Sceptre wins! But in the straight on the run home when all were in close order
the dark horse Throwaway drew level, reached, outstripped her. All was lost
now. Phyllis was silent: her eyes were sad anemones. Juno, she cried, I am
undone. But her lover consoled her and brought her a bright casket of gold in
which lay some oval sugarplums which she partook. A tear fell: one only. A
whacking fine whip, said Lenehan, is W. Lane. Four winners yesterday and three
today. What rider is like him? Mount him on the camel or the boisterous buffalo
the victory in a hack canter is still his. But let us bear it as was the
ancient wont. Mercy on the luckless! Poor Sceptre! he said with a light sigh.
She is not the filly that she was. Never, by this hand, shall we behold such
another. By gad, sir, a queen of them. Do you remember her, Vincent? I wish you
could have seen my queen today, Vincent said. How young she was and radiant
(Lalage were scarce fair beside her) in her yellow shoes and frock of muslin, I
do not know the right name of it. The chestnuts that shaded us were in bloom:
the air drooped with their persuasive odour and with pollen floating by us. In
the sunny patches one might easily have cooked on a stone a batch of those buns
with Corinth fruit in them that Periplipomenes sells in his booth near the
bridge. But she had nought for her teeth but the arm with which I held her and
in that she nibbled mischievously when I pressed too close. A week ago she lay
ill, four days on the couch, but today she was free, blithe, mocked at peril.
She is more taking then. Her posies too! Mad romp that she is, she had pulled
her fill as we reclined together. And in your ear, my friend, you will not
think who met us as we left the field. Conmee himself! He was walking by the
hedge, reading, I think a brevier book with, I doubt not, a witty letter in it
from Glycera or Chloe to keep the page. The sweet creature turned all colours
in her confusion, feigning to reprove a slight disorder in her dress: a slip of
underwood clung there for the very trees adore her. When Conmee had passed she
glanced at her lovely echo in that little mirror she carries. But he had been
kind. In going by he had blessed us. The gods too are ever kind, Lenehan said.
If I had poor luck with Bass’s mare perhaps this draught of his may serve me
more propensely. He was laying his hand upon a winejar: Malachi saw it and
withheld his act, pointing to the stranger and to the scarlet label. Warily,
Malachi whispered, preserve a druid silence. His soul is far away. It is as
painful perhaps to be awakened from a vision as to be born. Any object,
intensely regarded, may be a gate of access to the incorruptible eon of the
gods. Do you not think it, Stephen? Theosophos told me so, Stephen answered,
whom in a previous existence Egyptian priests initiated into the mysteries of
karmic law. The lords of the moon, Theosophos told me, an orangefiery shipload
from planet Alpha of the lunar chain would not assume the etheric doubles and
these were therefore incarnated by the rubycoloured egos from the second
constellation.</p>
<p>However, as a matter of fact though, the preposterous surmise about him being
in some description of a doldrums or other or mesmerised which was entirely due
to a misconception of the shallowest character, was not the case at all. The
individual whose visual organs while the above was going on were at this
juncture commencing to exhibit symptoms of animation was as astute if not
astuter than any man living and anybody that conjectured the contrary would
have found themselves pretty speedily in the wrong shop. During the past four
minutes or thereabouts he had been staring hard at a certain amount of number
one Bass bottled by Messrs Bass and Co at Burton-on-Trent which happened to be
situated amongst a lot of others right opposite to where he was and which was
certainly calculated to attract anyone’s remark on account of its scarlet
appearance. He was simply and solely, as it subsequently transpired for reasons
best known to himself, which put quite an altogether different complexion on
the proceedings, after the moment before’s observations about boyhood days and
the turf, recollecting two or three private transactions of his own which the
other two were as mutually innocent of as the babe unborn. Eventually, however,
both their eyes met and as soon as it began to dawn on him that the other was
endeavouring to help himself to the thing he involuntarily determined to help
him himself and so he accordingly took hold of the neck of the mediumsized
glass recipient which contained the fluid sought after and made a capacious
hole in it by pouring a lot of it out with, also at the same time, however, a
considerable degree of attentiveness in order not to upset any of the beer that
was in it about the place.</p>
<p>The debate which ensued was in its scope and progress an epitome of the course
of life. Neither place nor council was lacking in dignity. The debaters were
the keenest in the land, the theme they were engaged on the loftiest and most
vital. The high hall of Horne’s house had never beheld an assembly so
representative and so varied nor had the old rafters of that establishment ever
listened to a language so encyclopaedic. A gallant scene in truth it made.
Crotthers was there at the foot of the table in his striking Highland garb, his
face glowing from the briny airs of the Mull of Galloway. There too, opposite
to him, was Lynch whose countenance bore already the stigmata of early
depravity and premature wisdom. Next the Scotchman was the place assigned to
Costello, the eccentric, while at his side was seated in stolid repose the
squat form of Madden. The chair of the resident indeed stood vacant before the
hearth but on either flank of it the figure of Bannon in explorer’s kit of
tweed shorts and salted cowhide brogues contrasted sharply with the primrose
elegance and townbred manners of Malachi Roland St John Mulligan. Lastly at the
head of the board was the young poet who found a refuge from his labours of
pedagogy and metaphysical inquisition in the convivial atmosphere of Socratic
discussion, while to right and left of him were accommodated the flippant
prognosticator, fresh from the hippodrome, and that vigilant wanderer, soiled
by the dust of travel and combat and stained by the mire of an indelible
dishonour, but from whose steadfast and constant heart no lure or peril or
threat or degradation could ever efface the image of that voluptuous loveliness
which the inspired pencil of Lafayette has limned for ages yet to come.</p>
<p>It had better be stated here and now at the outset that the perverted
transcendentalism to which Mr S. Dedalus’ (Div. Scep.) contentions would appear
to prove him pretty badly addicted runs directly counter to accepted scientific
methods. Science, it cannot be too often repeated, deals with tangible
phenomena. The man of science like the man in the street has to face hardheaded
facts that cannot be blinked and explain them as best he can. There may be, it
is true, some questions which science cannot answer—at present—such
as the first problem submitted by Mr L. Bloom (Pubb. Canv.) regarding the
future determination of sex. Must we accept the view of Empedocles of Trinacria
that the right ovary (the postmenstrual period, assert others) is responsible
for the birth of males or are the too long neglected spermatozoa or nemasperms
the differentiating factors or is it, as most embryologists incline to opine,
such as Culpepper, Spallanzani, Blumenbach, Lusk, Hertwig, Leopold and Valenti,
a mixture of both? This would be tantamount to a cooperation (one of nature’s
favourite devices) between the <i>nisus formativus</i> of the nemasperm on the
one hand and on the other a happily chosen position, <i>succubitus felix</i>,
of the passive element. The other problem raised by the same inquirer is
scarcely less vital: infant mortality. It is interesting because, as he
pertinently remarks, we are all born in the same way but we all die in
different ways. Mr M. Mulligan (Hyg. et Eug. Doc.) blames the sanitary
conditions in which our greylunged citizens contract adenoids, pulmonary
complaints etc. by inhaling the bacteria which lurk in dust. These factors, he
alleged, and the revolting spectacles offered by our streets, hideous publicity
posters, religious ministers of all denominations, mutilated soldiers and
sailors, exposed scorbutic cardrivers, the suspended carcases of dead animals,
paranoic bachelors and unfructified duennas—these, he said, were
accountable for any and every fallingoff in the calibre of the race. Kalipedia,
he prophesied, would soon be generally adopted and all the graces of life,
genuinely good music, agreeable literature, light philosophy, instructive
pictures, plastercast reproductions of the classical statues such as Venus and
Apollo, artistic coloured photographs of prize babies, all these little
attentions would enable ladies who were in a particular condition to pass the
intervening months in a most enjoyable manner. Mr J. Crotthers (Disc. Bacc.)
attributes some of these demises to abdominal trauma in the case of women
workers subjected to heavy labours in the workshop and to marital discipline in
the home but by far the vast majority to neglect, private or official,
culminating in the exposure of newborn infants, the practice of criminal
abortion or in the atrocious crime of infanticide. Although the former (we are
thinking of neglect) is undoubtedly only too true the case he cites of nurses
forgetting to count the sponges in the peritoneal cavity is too rare to be
normative. In fact when one comes to look into it the wonder is that so many
pregnancies and deliveries go off so well as they do, all things considered and
in spite of our human shortcomings which often baulk nature in her intentions.
An ingenious suggestion is that thrown out by Mr V. Lynch (Bacc. Arith.) that
both natality and mortality, as well as all other phenomena of evolution, tidal
movements, lunar phases, blood temperatures, diseases in general, everything,
in fine, in nature’s vast workshop from the extinction of some remote sun to
the blossoming of one of the countless flowers which beautify our public parks
is subject to a law of numeration as yet unascertained. Still the plain
straightforward question why a child of normally healthy parents and seemingly
a healthy child and properly looked after succumbs unaccountably in early
childhood (though other children of the same marriage do not) must certainly,
in the poet’s words, give us pause. Nature, we may rest assured, has her own
good and cogent reasons for whatever she does and in all probability such
deaths are due to some law of anticipation by which organisms in which morbous
germs have taken up their residence (modern science has conclusively shown that
only the plasmic substance can be said to be immortal) tend to disappear at an
increasingly earlier stage of development, an arrangement which, though
productive of pain to some of our feelings (notably the maternal), is
nevertheless, some of us think, in the long run beneficial to the race in
general in securing thereby the survival of the fittest. Mr S. Dedalus’ (Div.
Scep.) remark (or should it be called an interruption?) that an omnivorous
being which can masticate, deglute, digest and apparently pass through the
ordinary channel with pluterperfect imperturbability such multifarious aliments
as cancrenous females emaciated by parturition, corpulent professional
gentlemen, not to speak of jaundiced politicians and chlorotic nuns, might
possibly find gastric relief in an innocent collation of staggering bob,
reveals as nought else could and in a very unsavoury light the tendency above
alluded to. For the enlightenment of those who are not so intimately acquainted
with the minutiae of the municipal abattoir as this morbidminded esthete and
embryo philosopher who for all his overweening bumptiousness in things
scientific can scarcely distinguish an acid from an alkali prides himself on
being, it should perhaps be stated that staggering bob in the vile parlance of
our lowerclass licensed victuallers signifies the cookable and eatable flesh of
a calf newly dropped from its mother. In a recent public controversy with Mr L.
Bloom (Pubb. Canv.) which took place in the commons’ hall of the National
Maternity Hospital, 29, 30 and 31 Holles street, of which, as is well known, Dr
A. Horne (Lic. in Midw., F. K. Q. C. P. I.) is the able and popular master, he
is reported by eyewitnesses as having stated that once a woman has let the cat
into the bag (an esthete’s allusion, presumably, to one of the most complicated
and marvellous of all nature’s processes—the act of sexual congress) she
must let it out again or give it life, as he phrased it, to save her own. At
the risk of her own, was the telling rejoinder of his interlocutor, none the
less effective for the moderate and measured tone in which it was delivered.</p>
<p>Meanwhile the skill and patience of the physician had brought about a happy
<i>accouchement.</i> It had been a weary weary while both for patient and
doctor. All that surgical skill could do was done and the brave woman had
manfully helped. She had. She had fought the good fight and now she was very
very happy. Those who have passed on, who have gone before, are happy too as
they gaze down and smile upon the touching scene. Reverently look at her as she
reclines there with the motherlight in her eyes, that longing hunger for baby
fingers (a pretty sight it is to see), in the first bloom of her new
motherhood, breathing a silent prayer of thanksgiving to One above, the
Universal Husband. And as her loving eyes behold her babe she wishes only one
blessing more, to have her dear Doady there with her to share her joy, to lay
in his arms that mite of God’s clay, the fruit of their lawful embraces. He is
older now (you and I may whisper it) and a trifle stooped in the shoulders yet
in the whirligig of years a grave dignity has come to the conscientious second
accountant of the Ulster bank, College Green branch. O Doady, loved one of old,
faithful lifemate now, it may never be again, that faroff time of the roses!
With the old shake of her pretty head she recalls those days. God! How
beautiful now across the mist of years! But their children are grouped in her
imagination about the bedside, hers and his, Charley, Mary Alice, Frederick
Albert (if he had lived), Mamy, Budgy (Victoria Frances), Tom, Violet Constance
Louisa, darling little Bobsy (called after our famous hero of the South African
war, lord Bobs of Waterford and Candahar) and now this last pledge of their
union, a Purefoy if ever there was one, with the true Purefoy nose. Young
hopeful will be christened Mortimer Edward after the influential third cousin
of Mr Purefoy in the Treasury Remembrancer’s office, Dublin Castle. And so time
wags on: but father Cronion has dealt lightly here. No, let no sigh break from
that bosom, dear gentle Mina. And Doady, knock the ashes from your pipe, the
seasoned briar you still fancy when the curfew rings for you (may it be the
distant day!) and dout the light whereby you read in the Sacred Book for the
oil too has run low, and so with a tranquil heart to bed, to rest. He knows and
will call in His own good time. You too have fought the good fight and played
loyally your man’s part. Sir, to you my hand. Well done, thou good and faithful
servant!</p>
<p>There are sins or (let us call them as the world calls them) evil memories
which are hidden away by man in the darkest places of the heart but they abide
there and wait. He may suffer their memory to grow dim, let them be as though
they had not been and all but persuade himself that they were not or at least
were otherwise. Yet a chance word will call them forth suddenly and they will
rise up to confront him in the most various circumstances, a vision or a dream,
or while timbrel and harp soothe his senses or amid the cool silver tranquility
of the evening or at the feast, at midnight, when he is now filled with wine.
Not to insult over him will the vision come as over one that lies under her
wrath, not for vengeance to cut him off from the living but shrouded in the
piteous vesture of the past, silent, remote, reproachful.</p>
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