<h2 id="chptVI">VI.</h2>
<span class="bold fs150">How she can be Oddly Wrote.</span></div>
<p>The following amusing rhyme clipped from an old paper shows to advantage
some of the peculiarities of the English language:</p>
<p class="center">SALLY SALTER.</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Sally Salter, she was a young teacher, that taught,</span><br/>
<span class="in1em">And her friend Charley Church was a preacher, who praught;</span><br/>
<span class="in1em">Though his friends all declared him a screecher, who scraught.</span><br/></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 72]</div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">His heart, when he saw her, kept sinking, and sunk,</span><br/>
<span class="in1em">And his eyes, meeting hers, kept winking, and wunk;</span><br/>
<span class="in1em">While she, in her turn, fell to thinking, and thunk.</span><br/></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">He hastened to woo her, and sweetly he wooed,</span>
<span class="in1em">For his love for her grew—to a mountain it grewed,</span>
<span class="in1em">And what he was longing to do, then he doed.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">In secret he wanted to speak, and he spoke:</span>
<span class="in1em">To seek with his lips what his heart had long soke;</span>
<span class="in1em">So he managed to let the truth leak, and it loke.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">He asked her to ride to the church and they rode;</span>
<span class="in1em">They so sweetly did glide, that they both thought they glode,</span>
<span class="in1em">And they came to the place to be tied, and were tode.</span></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 73]</div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Then "Homeward," he said, "let us drive," and they drove,</span>
<span class="in1em">As soon as they wished to arrive they arrove;</span>
<span class="in1em">For whatever he couldn't contrive she controve.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">The kiss he was dying to steal, then he stole,</span>
<span class="in1em">At the feet where he wanted to kneel, there he knole,</span>
<span class="in1em">And he said, "I feel better than ever I fole."</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">So they to each other kept clinging, and clung,</span>
<span class="in1em">While Time his swift circuit was winging, and wung;</span>
<span class="in1em">And this was the thing he was bringing, and brung:</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">The man Sally wanted to catch, and had caught—</span>
<span class="in1em">That she wanted from others to snatch, and had snaught,</span>
<span class="in1em">Was the one that she now liked to scratch, and she scraught.</span></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 74]</div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">And Charley's warm love began freezing and froze,</span>
<span class="in1em">While he took to teasing, and cruelly tose</span>
<span class="in1em">The girl he had wished to be squeezing and squoze.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Wretch!" he cried, when she threatened to leave him, and left,</span>
<span class="in1em">"How could you deceive me, as you have deceft?"</span>
<span class="in1em">And she answered, "I promised to cleave, and I've cleft!"</span></div>
</div>
<p><span class="smcap">Plodding Changes.</span>—Some of our plodding readers may like to peruse the
following curious variations of the well-known line from Gray's "Elegy,"
"The ploughman homeward plods his weary way":</p>
<p>The weary ploughman homeward plods his way.</p>
<p>The weary ploughman plods his homeward way.</p>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 75]</div>
<p>The homeward ploughman plods his weary way.</p>
<p>The homeward ploughman, weary, plods his way.</p>
<p>The homeward, weary, ploughman plods his way.</p>
<p>The weary, homeward ploughman plods his way.</p>
<p>Homeward the weary ploughman plods his way.</p>
<p>Homeward, weary, the ploughman plods his way.</p>
<p>Homeward the ploughman plods his weary way.</p>
<p>Homeward the ploughman, weary, plods his way.</p>
<p>Weary, the homeward ploughman plods his way.</p>
<p>Weary, homeward the ploughman plods his way.</p>
<p>Weary, the ploughman plods his homeward way.</p>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 76]</div>
<p>The ploughman plods his homeward, weary way.</p>
<p>The ploughman plods his weary homeward way.</p>
<p>The ploughman homeward, weary, plods his way.</p>
<p>The ploughman, weary, homeward plods his way.</p>
<p>The ploughman, weary, plods his homeward way.</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"My Madeline! My Madeline!</span>
<span class="in1em">Mark my melodious midnight moans;</span>
<span class="in1em">Much may my melting music mean,</span>
<span class="in1em">My modulated monotones.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"My mandolin's mild minstrelsy,</span>
<span class="in1em">My mental music magazine,</span>
<span class="in1em">My mouth, my mind, my memory,</span>
<span class="in1em">Must mingling murmur, 'Madeline.'</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Muster 'mid midnight masquerades,</span>
<span class="in1em">Mark Moorish maidens', matrons' mien,</span>
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 77]</span>
<span class="in1em">'Mongst Murcia's most majestic maids,</span>
<span class="in1em">Match me my matchless Madeline.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Mankind's malevolence may make</span>
<span class="in1em">Much melancholy music mine;</span>
<span class="in1em">Many my motives may mistake,</span>
<span class="in1em">My modest merits much malign.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"My Madeline's most mirthful mood</span>
<span class="in1em">Much mollifies my mind's machine;</span>
<span class="in1em">My mournfulness' magnitude</span>
<span class="in1em">Melts—makes me merry, Madeline!</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Match-making mas may machinate,</span>
<span class="in1em">Manoeuvring misses me misween;</span>
<span class="in1em">Mere money may make many mate,</span>
<span class="in1em">My magic motto's—'Madeline!'</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Melt, most mellifluous melody,</span>
<span class="in1em">'Midst Murcia's misty mounts marine,</span>
<span class="in1em">Meet me by moonlight—marry me,</span>
<span class="in1em">Madonna mia!—Madeline."</span></div>
</div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 78]</div>
<p>It is well known that the letter <i>e</i> is used more than any other letter
in the English alphabet. Each of the following verses contains every
letter of the alphabet except the letter <i>e</i>:</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"A jovial swain should not complain</span>
<span class="in2em">Of any buxom fair</span>
<span class="in1em">Who mocks his pain and thinks it gain</span>
<span class="in2em">To quiz his awkward air.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Quixotic boys who look for joys,</span>
<span class="in2em">Quixotic hazards run;</span>
<span class="in1em">A lass annoys with trivial toys,</span>
<span class="in2em">Opposing man for fun.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"A jovial swain may rack his brain,</span>
<span class="in2em">And tax his fancy's might;</span>
<span class="in1em">To quiz is vain, for 'tis most plain</span>
<span class="in2em">That what I say is right"</span></div>
</div>
<p class="in10em"><i>Northampton</i> (<i>England</i>) <i>Courier.</i></p>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 79]</div>
<p>Here is the result of a rhyming punster's efforts:</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"A pretty deer is dear to me,</span>
<span class="in2em">A hare with downy hair,</span>
<span class="in1em">A hart I love with all my heart,</span>
<span class="in2em">But barely bear a bear.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"><span class="in1em">"'Tis plain that no one takes a plane</span></span>
<span class="in2em">To pare a pair of pears,</span>
<span class="in1em">Although a rake may take a rake</span>
<span class="in2em">To tear away the tares.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Sol's rays raise thyme, time raises all,</span>
<span class="in2em">And through the whole holes wears.</span>
<span class="in1em">A scribe in writing right may write</span>
<span class="in2em">To write and still be wrong;</span>
<span class="in1em">For write and rite are neither right,</span>
<span class="in2em">And don't to right belong.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Robertson is not Robert's son,</span>
<span class="in2em">Nor did he rob Burt's son,</span>
<span class="in1em">Yet Robert's sun is Robin's sun,</span>
<span class="in2em">And everybody's sun.</span></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 80]</div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Beer often brings a bier to man,</span>
<span class="in2em">Coughing a coffin brings,</span>
<span class="in1em">And too much ale will make us ail,</span>
<span class="in2em">As well as other things.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"The person lies who says he lies</span>
<span class="in2em">When he is not reclining;</span>
<span class="in1em">And when consumptive folks decline,</span>
<span class="in2em">They all decline declining.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Quails do not quail before a storm.</span>
<span class="in2em">A bow will bow before it;</span>
<span class="in1em">We cannot rein the rain at all,</span>
<span class="in2em">No earthly power reigns o'er it.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"The dyer dyes awhile, then dies—</span>
<span class="in2em">To dye he's always trying;</span>
<span class="in1em">Until upon his dying bed</span>
<span class="in2em">He thinks no more of dyeing.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"A son of Mars mars many a son,</span>
<span class="in2em">All Deys must have their days;</span>
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 81]</span>
<span class="in1em">And every knight should pray each night</span>
<span class="in2em">To him who weighs his ways.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"'Tis meet that man should mete out meat</span>
<span class="in2em">To feed one's fortune's sun;</span>
<span class="in1em">The fair should fare on love alone,</span>
<span class="in2em">Else one cannot be won.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Alas, a lass is sometimes false;</span>
<span class="in2em">Of faults a maid is made;</span>
<span class="in1em">Her waist is but a barren waste—</span>
<span class="in2em">Though stayed she is not staid.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"The springs shoot forth each spring and shoots</span>
<span class="in2em">Shoot forward one and all;</span>
<span class="in1em">Though summer kills the flowers, it leaves</span>
<span class="in2em">The leaves to fall in fall.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"I would a story here commence,</span>
<span class="in2em">But you might think it stale;</span>
<span class="in1em">So we'll suppose that we have reached</span>
<span class="in2em">The tail end of our tale."</span></div>
</div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 82]</div>
<p>And here is a zo�logical romance, by C. F. Adams, inspired by an unusual
flow of animal spirits:</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">No sweeter girl ewe ever gnu</span>
<span class="in1em">Than Betty Martin's daughter Sue.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">With sable hare, small tapir waist,</span>
<span class="in1em">And lips you'd gopher miles to taste;</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Bright, lambent eyes, like the gazelle,</span>
<span class="in1em">Sheep pertly brought to bear so well;</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Ape pretty lass it was avowed,</span>
<span class="in1em">Of whom her marmot to be proud.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Deer girl! I loved her as my life,</span>
<span class="in1em">And vowed to heifer for my wife.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Alas! A sailor on the sly,</span>
<span class="in1em">Had cast on her his wether eye.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">He said my love for her was bosh,</span>
<span class="in1em">And my affection I musquash.</span></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 83]</div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">He'd dog her footsteps everywhere,</span>
<span class="in1em">Anteater in the easy-chair;</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">He'd setter round, this sailor chap,</span>
<span class="in1em">And pointer out upon the map</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Where once a pirate cruiser boar</span>
<span class="in1em">Him captive to a foreign shore.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">The cruel captain far outdid</span>
<span class="in1em">The yaks and crimes of Robert Kid.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">He oft would whale Jack with the cat,</span>
<span class="in1em">And say, "My buck, doe you like that?</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"What makes you stag around so, say?</span>
<span class="in1em">The catamounts to something, hey?"</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Then he would seal it with an oath,</span>
<span class="in1em">And say: "You are a lazy sloth!</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"I'll starve you down, my sailor fine,</span>
<span class="in1em">Until for beef and porcupine!"</span></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 84]</div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">And, fairly horse with fiendish laughter,</span>
<span class="in1em">Would say, "Henceforth, mind what giraffe ter!"</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">In short, the many risks he ran</span>
<span class="in1em">Might well a llama braver man;</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Then he was wrecked and castor shore</span>
<span class="in1em">While feebly clinging to anoa;</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Hyena cleft among the rocks</span>
<span class="in1em">He crept, <i>sans</i> shoes and minus ox.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">And when he fain would go to bed,</span>
<span class="in1em">He had to lion leaves instead.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Then Sue would say, with troubled face,</span>
<span class="in1em">"How koodoo live in such a place?"</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">And straightway into tears would melt,</span>
<span class="in1em">And say, "How badger must have felt!"</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">While he, the brute, woodchuck her chin,</span>
<span class="in1em">And say, "Aye-aye, my lass!" and grin.</span></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 85]</div>
<p class="in1em">* * * * * * *</p>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Excuse these steers.... It's over now;</span>
<span class="in1em">There's naught like grief the hart can cow.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Jackass'd her to be his, and she—</span>
<span class="in1em">She gave Jackal, and jilted me.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">And now, alas! the little minks</span>
<span class="in1em">Is bound to him with Hymen's lynx.</span></div>
</div>
<p class="in10em">—<i>Detroit Free Press.</i></p>
<p>While upon the subject of puns, we might quote the following, clipped
from the "Graphic":</p>
<p>"On being consulted about it Spikes says that Uncle Sam aunticipates the
transfer of the Indian Bureau to some mother department, and if this
should father improve the condition of the children of the forest, in
sondry ways, by cousin them to be more comfortable, it would be a niece
arrangement and daughter be made." We are inclined, in nephew instances,
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 86]</span>
to agree with the gramma, but not the spelling.</p>
<p>The "Graphic" is also responsible for the following English stanza
transformed into Russian, said to have been found in a room after it had
been vacated by Alexis while in this country. It is introduced as an
example of how "she can be oddly wrote":</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">"Owata jollitimiv ad</span>
<span class="in1em">Sinci tooklevov mioldad!</span>
<span class="in1em">Owata merricoviv bin—</span>
<span class="in1em">Ivespenta nawful pilovtin!</span>
<span class="in1em">Damsorri tolevami now,</span>
<span class="in1em">But landigoshenjingo vow,</span>
<span class="in1em">Thetur kishwar mustavastop</span>
<span class="in1em">Gotele graphitoff topop."</span></div>
</div>
<p>The following clever paraphrase of the old rhythmic story of "Jack's
House" is a good illustration of the scope and flexibility of our
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 87]</span>
language, and suggests the fact that tautological errors of writing need
seldom be committed.</p>
<div class="poem">
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em">Behold the mansion reared by d�dal Jack.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> See the malt stored in many a plethoric sack,</span>
<span class="in1em"> In the proud cirque of Ivan's bivouac.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> Mark how the Rat's felonious fangs invade</span>
<span class="in1em"> The golden stores in John's pavilion laid.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> Anon, with velvet foot and Tarquin strides,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Subtle Grimalkin to his quarry glides—</span>
<span class="in1em"> Grimalkin grim, that slew the fierce <i>rodent</i></span>
<span class="in1em"> Whose tooth insidious Johann's sackcloth rent.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> Lo! now the deep-mouthed canine foe's assault,</span>
<span class="in1em"> That vexed the avenger of the stolen malt,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Stored in the hallowed precincts of that hall</span>
<span class="in1em"> That rose complete at Jack's creative call.</span></div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 88]</div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> Here stalks the impetuous Cow with crumpled horn,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Whereon the exacerbating hound was torn,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Who bayed the feline slaughter-beast that slew</span>
<span class="in1em"> The Rat predaceous, whose keen fangs ran through</span>
<span class="in1em"> The textile fibers that involved the grain</span>
<span class="in1em"> That lay in Hans' inviolate domain.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> Here walks forlorn the Damsel, crowned with rue,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Lactiferous spoils from vaccine dugs, who drew</span>
<span class="in1em"> Of that corniculate beast whose tortuous horn</span>
<span class="in1em"> Tossed to the clouds, in fierce vindictive scorn,</span>
<span class="in1em"> The harrowing hound, whose braggart bark and stir</span>
<span class="in1em"> Arched the lithe spine and reared the indignant fur</span>
<span class="in1em"> Of Puss, that with verminicidal claw</span>
<span class="in1em"> Struck the weird Rat, in whose insatiate maw</span>
<span class="in1em"> Lay reeking malt, that erst in Ivan's courts we saw</span>
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 89]</span>
<span class="in1em"> Robed in senescent garb that seems in sooth</span>
<span class="in1em"> Too long a prey to Chronos' iron tooth.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> Behold the man whose amorous lips incline,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Full with young Eros' osculative sign,</span>
<span class="in1em"> To the lorn maiden whose lact-albic hands,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Drew albu-lactic wealth from lacteal glands</span>
<span class="in1em"> Of that immortal bovine, by whose horn</span>
<span class="in1em"> Distort, to realm ethereal was borne</span>
<span class="in1em"> The beast catulean, vexer of that sly</span>
<span class="in1em"> Ulysses quadrupedal, who made die</span>
<span class="in1em"> The old mordacious Rat, that dared devour</span>
<span class="in1em"> Antecedaneous Ale, in John's domestic bower.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> Lo, here, with hirsute honors doffed, succinct</span>
<span class="in1em"> Of saponaceous locks, the Priest who linked</span>
<span class="in1em"> In Hymen's golden bands the torn unthrift,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Whose means exiguous stared from many a rift,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Even as he kissed the virgin all forlorn,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Who milked the cow with implicated horn,</span>
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 90]</span>
<span class="in1em"> Who in fine wrath the canine torturer skied,</span>
<span class="in1em"> That dared to vex the insidious muricide,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Who let the auroral effluence through the pelt</span>
<span class="in1em"> Of the sly Rat that robbed the palace Jack had built.</span></div>
<div class="stanza">
<span class="in1em"> The loud cantankerous Shanghai comes at last,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Whose shouts arouse the shorn ecclesiast,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Who sealed the vows of Hymen's sacrament,</span>
<span class="in1em"> To him who robed in garments indigent,</span>
<span class="in1em"> Exosculates the damsel lachrymose,</span>
<span class="in1em"> The emulgator of that horned brute morose,</span>
<span class="in1em"> That tossed the dog, that worried the cat, that kilt</span>
<span class="in1em"> The Rat that ate the malt, that lay in the house that Jack built.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 91]</div>
<div class="chpthd center">
<h2 id="chptVII">VII.</h2>
<span class="bold fs150">By the Untutored.</span></div>
<p><span class="smcap">Care</span> should be taken in writing for the young, or they may get a wholly
different meaning from the language than that intended. The Bishop of
Hereford was examining a school-class one day, and, among other things,
asked what an average was. Several boys pleaded ignorance, but one at
last replied, "It is what a hen lays on." This answer puzzled the bishop
not a little; but the boy persisted in it, stating that he had read it
in his little book of facts. He was then told to bring the little book,
and, on doing so, he pointed triumphantly to a paragraph commencing,
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 92]</span>
"The domestic hen lays <i>on an average</i> fifty eggs each year."</p>
<p>If English is "wrote" as she is often "spoke" by the ignorant and
careless, she would bear little resemblance to the original Queen's
English. A listener wrote out a short conversation heard the other day
between two pupils of a high-school, and here is the phonetic
result:</p>
<div class="lineheight-half">
<p>"Warejergo lasnight?"</p>
<p>"Hadder skate."</p>
<p>"Jerfind th'ice hard'n'good?"</p>
<p>"Yes, hard'nough."</p>
<p>"Jer goerlone?"</p>
<p>"No; Bill'n Joe wenterlong."</p>
<p>"Howlate jerstay?"</p>
<p>"Pastate."</p>
<p>"Lemmeknow wenyergoagin, woncher? I wantergo'n'show yer
howterskate."</p>
<div class="pagenum">[Pg. 93]</div>
<p>"H'm, ficoodn't skate better'n you I'd sell-out'n'quit."</p>
<p>"Well, we'll tryeranc'n'seefyercan."</p>
</div>
<p>Here, as they took different streets, their conversation ceased.</p>
<p>A writer in the "School-boy Magazine" has gathered together the
following dictionary words as defined by certain small people:</p>
<ul>
<li>Bed-time—Shut eye time.</li>
<li>Dust—Mud with the juice squeezed out.</li>
<li>Fan—A thing to brush warm off with.</li>
<li>Fins—A fish's wings.</li>
<li>Ice—Water that staid out in the cold and went to sleep.</li>
<li>Monkey—A very small boy with a tail.</li>
<li>Nest-Egg—The egg that the old hen measures by, to make new ones.</li>
<li>Pig—A hog's little boy.</li>
<li>Salt—What makes your potato taste bad when you don't put any on.</li>
<li class="pagenum">[Pg. 94]</li>
<li>Snoring—Letting off sleep.</li>
<li>Stars—The moon's eggs.</li>
<li>Wakefulness—Eyes all the time coming unbuttoned.</li>
</ul>
<p>The following specimens from scholars' examinations in making sentences
to illustrate the definitions of words, found in their small
dictionaries, will have a familiar sound to some of our readers:</p>
<ul>
<li>Frantic = Wild: I picked a bouquet of frantic flowers.</li>
<li>Retorted = Returned: We retorted home at six o'clock.</li>
<li>Summoned = Called: I summoned to see Mary last week.</li>
<li>Athletic = Strong: The vinegar was too athletic to be used.</li>
<li>Poignant = Sharp: My knife is very poignant.</li>
<li>Ordinances = Rules: We learned the ordinances for finding the greatest common divisor.</li>
<li><span class="pagenum">[Pg. 95]</span></li>
<li>Turbid = Muddy: The road was so turbid that we stuck fast in the mud.</li>
<li>Tandem = One behind another: The scholars sit tandem in school.</li>
<li>Akimbo = With a crook: I saw a dog with an akimbo in his tail.</li>
<li>Atonement = Satisfaction: There is no atonement in boat-riding in a cold day.</li>
<li>Composure = Calmness: The composure of the day was remarkable.</li>
</ul>
<p>We have the authority of the late Dr. Hart as to the genuineness of the
following extracts, taken from the papers of a class seeking admission
into a high-school, to which had been given a list of words for their
meanings and applications:</p>
<ul>
<li>Fabulous—Full of threads: Silk is fabulous.</li>
<li>Accession—The act of eating a great deal: John got very sick after dinner by accession.
<span class="pagenum">[Pg. 96]</span></li>
<li>Atonement—A small insect: Queen Mab was pulled by atonements.</li>
<li>Develop—To swallow up: God sent a whale to develop Jonah.</li>
<li>Circumference—Distance through the middle: Distance around the middle of the outside.</li>
<li>Mobility—Belonging to the people: The mobility of St. Louis has greatly increased.</li>
<li>Adequate—A land animal: An elephant is an adequate.</li>
<li>Gregarious—Pertaining to idols: The Sandwich-Islanders are gregarious.</li>
<li>Fluctuation—Coming in great numbers: There was a great fluctuation of immigrants.</li>
<li>Alternate—Not ternate.</li>
<li>Intrinsic—Not trinsic: weak, feeble: He was a very intrinsic old man.</li>
<li>Subservient—One opposed to the upholding of servants.</li>
</ul>
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