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<h2> Chapter XXVI </h2>
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CATASTROPHE
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<p>"Those seem to be good horses, and we change on the way,"
said Planard. "You give the men a Napoleon or two; we must do
it within three hours and a quarter. Now, come; I'll lift him
upright, so as to place his feet in their proper berth, and
you must keep them together and draw the white shirt well
down over them."</p>
<p>In another moment I was placed, as he described, sustained in
Planard's arms, standing at the foot of the coffin, and so
lowered backward, gradually, till I lay my length in it. Then
the man, whom he called Planard, stretched my arms by my
sides, and carefully arranged the frills at my breast and the
folds of the shroud, and after that, taking his stand at the
foot of the coffin made a survey which seemed to satisfy him.</p>
<p>The Count, who was very methodical, took my clothes, which
had just been removed, folded them rapidly together and
locked them up, as I afterwards heard, in one of the three
presses which opened by doors in the panel.</p>
<p>I now understood their frightful plan. This coffin had been
prepared for me; the funeral of St. Amand was a sham to
mislead inquiry; I had myself given the order at Père
la Chaise, signed it, and paid the fees for the interment of
the fictitious Pierre de St. Amand, whose place I was to
take, to lie in his coffin with his name on the plate above
my breast, and with a ton of clay packed down upon me; to
waken from this catalepsy, after I had been for hours in the
grave, there to perish by a death the most horrible that
imagination can conceive.</p>
<p>If, hereafter, by any caprice of curiosity or suspicion, the
coffin should be exhumed, and the body it enclosed examined,
no chemistry could detect a trace of poison, nor the most
cautious examination the slightest mark of violence.</p>
<p>I had myself been at the utmost pains to mystify inquiry,
should my disappearance excite surmises, and had even written
to my few correspondents in England to tell them that they
were not to look for a letter from me for three weeks at
least.</p>
<p>In the moment of my guilty elation death had caught me, and
there was no escape. I tried to pray to God in my unearthly
panic, but only thoughts of terror, judgment, and eternal
anguish crossed the distraction of my immediate doom.</p>
<p>I must not try to recall what is indeed
indescribable—the multiform horrors of my own thoughts.
I will relate, simply, what befell, every detail of which
remains sharp in my memory as if cut in steel.</p>
<p>"The undertaker's men are in the hall," said the Count.</p>
<p>"They must not come till this is fixed," answered Planard.
"Be good enough to take hold of the lower part while I take
this end." I was not left long to conjecture what was coming,
for in a few seconds more something slid across, a few inches
above my face, and entirely excluded the light, and muffled
sound, so that nothing that was not very distinct reached my
ears henceforward; but very distinctly came the working of a
turnscrew, and the crunching home of screws in succession.
Than these vulgar sounds, no doom spoken in thunder could
have been more tremendous.</p>
<p>The rest I must relate, not as it then reached my ears, which
was too imperfectly and interruptedly to supply a connected
narrative, but as it was afterwards told me by other people.</p>
<p>The coffin-lid being screwed down, the two gentlemen arranged
the room and adjusted the coffin so that it lay perfectly
straight along the boards, the Count being specially anxious
that there should be no appearance of hurry or disorder in
the room, which might have suggested remark and conjecture.</p>
<p>When this was done, Doctor Planard said he would go to the
hall to summon the men who were to carry the coffin out and
place it in the hearse. The Count pulled on his black gloves,
and held his white handkerchief in his hand, a very
impressive chief-mourner. He stood a little behind the head
of the coffin, awaiting the arrival of the persons who
accompanied Planard, and whose fast steps he soon heard
approaching.</p>
<p>Planard came first. He entered the room through the apartment
in which the coffin had been originally placed. His manner
was changed; there was something of a swagger in it.</p>
<p>"Monsieur le Comte," he said, as he strode through the door,
followed by half-a-dozen persons, "I am sorry to have to
announce to you a most unseasonable interruption. Here is
Monsieur Carmaignac, a gentleman holding an office in the
police department, who says that information to the effect
that large quantities of smuggled English and other goods
have been distributed in this neighborhood, and that a
portion of them is concealed in your house. I have ventured
to assure him, of my own knowledge, that nothing can be more
false than that information, and that you would be only too
happy to throw open for his inspection, at a moment's notice,
every room, closet, and cupboard in your house."</p>
<p>"Most assuredly," exclaimed the Count, with a stout voice,
but a very white face. "Thank you, my good friend, for having
anticipated me. I will place my house and keys at his
disposal, for the purpose of his scrutiny, so soon as he is
good enough to inform me of what specific contraband goods he
comes in search."</p>
<p>"The Count de St. Alyre will pardon me," answered Carmaignac,
a little dryly. "I am forbidden by my instructions to make
that disclosure; and that I <i>am</i> instructed to make a
general search, this warrant will sufficiently apprise
Monsieur le Comte."</p>
<p>"Monsieur Carmaignac, may I hope," interposed Planard, "that
you will permit the Count de St. Alyre to attend the funeral
of his kinsman, who lies here, as you see—" (he pointed
to the plate upon the coffin)—"and to convey whom to
Pere la Chaise, a hearse waits at this moment at the door."</p>
<p>"That, I regret to say, I cannot permit. My instructions are
precise; but the delay, I trust, will be but trifling.
Monsieur le Comte will not suppose for a moment that I
suspect him; but we have a duty to perform, and I must act as
if I did. When I am ordered to search, I search; things are
sometimes hid in such bizarre places. I can't say, for
instance, what that coffin may contain."</p>
<p>"The body of my kinsman, Monsieur Pierre de St. Amand,"
answered the Count, loftily.</p>
<p>"Oh! then you've seen him?"</p>
<p>"Seen him? Often, too often." The Count was evidently a good
deal moved.</p>
<p>"I mean the body?"</p>
<p>The Count stole a quick glance at Planard.</p>
<p>"N—no, Monsieur—that is, I mean only for a
moment."</p>
<p>Another quick glance at Planard.</p>
<p>"But quite long enough, I fancy, to recognize him?"
insinuated that gentleman.</p>
<p>"Of course—of course; instantly—perfectly. What!
Pierre de St. Amand? Not know him at a glance? No, no, poor
fellow, I know him too well for that."</p>
<p>"The things I am in search of," said Monsieur Carmaignac,
"would fit in a narrow compass—servants are so
ingenious sometimes. Let us raise the lid."</p>
<p>"Pardon me, Monsieur," said the Count, peremptorily,
advancing to the side of the coffin and extending his arm
across it, "I cannot permit that indignity—that
desecration."</p>
<p>"There shall be none, sir—simply the raising of the
lid; you shall remain in the room. If it should prove as we
all hope, you shall have the pleasure of one other look,
really the last, upon your beloved kinsman."</p>
<p>"But, sir, I can't."</p>
<p>"But, Monsieur, I must."</p>
<p>"But, besides, the thing, the turnscrew, broke when the last
screw was turned; and I give you my sacred honor there is
nothing but the body in this coffin."</p>
<p>"Of course, Monsieur le Comte believes all that; but he does
not know so well as I the legerdemain in use among servants,
who are accustomed to smuggling. Here, Philippe, you must
take off the lid of that coffin."</p>
<p>The Count protested; but Philippe—a man with a bald
head and a smirched face, looking like a working
blacksmith—placed on the floor a leather bag of tools,
from which, having looked at the coffin, and picked with his
nail at the screw-heads, he selected a turnscrew and, with a
few deft twirls at each of the screws, they stood up like
little rows of mushrooms, and the lid was raised. I saw the
light, of which I thought I had seen my last, once more; but
the axis of vision remained fixed. As I was reduced to the
cataleptic state in a position nearly perpendicular, I
continued looking straight before me, and thus my gaze was
now fixed upon the ceiling. I saw the face of Carmaignac
leaning over me with a curious frown. It seemed to me that
there was no recognition in his eyes. Oh, Heaven! that I
could have uttered were it but one cry! I saw the dark, mean
mask of the little Count staring down at me from the other
side; the face of the pseudo-Marquis also peering at me, but
not so full in the line of vision; there were other faces
also.</p>
<p>"I see, I see," said Carmaignac, withdrawing. "Nothing of the
kind there."</p>
<p>"You will be good enough to direct your man to re-adjust the
lid of the coffin, and to fix the screws," said the Count,
taking courage; "and—and—really the funeral must
proceed. It is not fair to the people, who have but moderate
fees for night-work, to keep them hour after hour beyond the
time."</p>
<p>"Count de St. Alyre, you shall go in a very few minutes. I
will direct, just now, all about the coffin."</p>
<p>The Count looked toward the door, and there saw a
<i>gendarme</i>; and two or three more grave and stalwart
specimens of the same force were also in the room. The Count
was very uncomfortably excited; it was growing insupportable.</p>
<p>"As this gentleman makes a difficulty about my attending the
obsequies of my kinsman, I will ask you, Planard, to
accompany the funeral in my stead."</p>
<p>"In a few minutes;" answered the incorrigible Carmaignac. "I
must first trouble you for the key that opens that press."</p>
<p>He pointed direct at the press in which the clothes had just
been locked up.</p>
<p>"I—I have no objection," said the Count—"none, of
course; only they have not been used for an age. I'll direct
someone to look for the key."</p>
<p>"If you have not got it about you, it is quite unnecessary.
Philippe, try your skeleton-keys with that press. I want it
opened. Whose clothes are these?" inquired Carmaignac, when,
the press having been opened, he took out the suit that had
been placed there scarcely two minutes since.</p>
<p>"I can't say," answered the Count. "I know nothing of the
contents of that press. A roguish servant, named Lablais,
whom I dismissed about a year ago, had the key. I have not
seen it open for ten years or more. The clothes are probably
his."</p>
<p>"Here are visiting cards, see, and here a marked
pocket-handkerchief—'R.B.' upon it. He must have stolen
them from a person named Beckett—R. Beckett. 'Mr.
Beckett, Berkeley Square,' the card says; and, my faith!
here's a watch and a bunch of seals; one of them with the
initials 'R.B.' upon it. That servant, Lablais, must have
been a consummate rogue!"</p>
<p>"So he was; you are right, Sir."</p>
<p>"It strikes me that he possibly stole these clothes,"
continued Carmaignac, "from the man in the coffin, who, in
that case, would be Monsieur Beckett, and not Monsieur de St.
Amand. For wonderful to relate, Monsieur, the watch is still
going! The man in the coffin, I believe, is not dead, but
simply drugged. And for having robbed and intended to murder
him, I arrest you, Nicolas de la Marque, Count de St. Alyre."</p>
<p>In another moment the old villain was a prisoner. I heard his
discordant voice break quaveringly into sudden vehemence and
volubility; now croaking—now shrieking as he oscillated
between protests, threats, and impious appeals to the God who
will "judge the secrets of men!" And thus lying and raving,
he was removed from the room, and placed in the same coach
with his beautiful and abandoned accomplice, already
arrested; and, with two <i>gendarmes</i> sitting beside them,
they were immediate driving at a rapid pace towards the
Conciergerie.</p>
<p>There were now added to the general chorus two voices, very
different in quality; one was that of the gasconading Colonel
Gaillarde, who had with difficulty been kept in the
background up to this; the other was that of my jolly friend
Whistlewick, who had come to identify me.</p>
<p>I shall tell you, just now, how this project against my
property and life, so ingenious and monstrous, was exploded.
I must first say a word about myself. I was placed in a hot
bath, under the direction of Planard, as consummate a villain
as any of the gang, but now thoroughly in the interests of
the prosecution. Thence I was laid in a warm bed, the window
of the room being open. These simple measures restored me in
about three hours; I should otherwise, probably, have
continued under the spell for nearly seven.</p>
<p>The practices of these nefarious conspirators had been
carried on with consummate skill and secrecy. Their dupes
were led, as I was, to be themselves auxiliary to the mystery
which made their own destruction both safe and certain.</p>
<p>A search was, of course, instituted. Graves were opened in
Pere la Chaise. The bodies exhumed had lain there too long,
and were too much decomposed to be recognized. One only was
identified. The notice for the burial, in this particular
case, had been signed, the order given, and the fees paid, by
Gabriel Gaillarde, who was known to the official clerk, who
had to transact with him this little funereal business. The
very trick that had been arranged for me, had been
successfully practiced in his case. The person for whom the
grave had been ordered, was purely fictitious; and Gabriel
Gaillarde himself filled the coffin, on the cover of which
that false name was inscribed as well as upon a tomb-stone
over the grave. Possibly the same honor, under my pseudonym,
may have been intended for me.</p>
<p>The identification was curious. This Gabriel Gaillarde had
had a bad fall from a runaway horse about five years before
his mysterious disappearance. He had lost an eye and some
teeth in this accident, beside sustaining a fracture of the
right leg, immediately above the ankle. He had kept the
injuries to his face as profound a secret as he could. The
result was, that the glass eye which had done duty for the
one he had lost remained in the socket, slightly displaced,
of course, but recognizable by the "artist" who had supplied
it.</p>
<p>More pointedly recognizable were the teeth, peculiar in
workmanship, which one of the ablest dentists in Paris had
himself adapted to the chasms, the cast of which, owing to
peculiarities in the accident, he happened to have preserved.
This cast precisely fitted the gold plate found in the mouth
of the skull. The mark, also, above the ankle, in the bone,
where it had reunited, corresponded exactly with the place
where the fracture had knit in the limb of Gabriel Gaillarde.</p>
<p>The Colonel, his younger brother, had been furious about the
disappearance of Gabriel, and still more so about that of his
money, which he had long regarded as his proper keepsake,
whenever death should remove his brother from the vexations
of living. He had suspected for a long time, for certain
adroitly discovered reasons, that the Count de St. Alyre and
the beautiful lady, his companion, countess, or whatever else
she was, had pigeoned him. To this suspicion were added some
others of a still darker kind; but in their first shape,
rather the exaggerated reflections of his fury, ready to
believe anything, than well-defined conjectures.</p>
<p>At length an accident had placed the Colonel very nearly upon
the right scent; a chance, possibly lucky, for himself, had
apprised the scoundrel Planard that the
conspirators—himself among the number—were in
danger. The result was that he made terms for himself, became
an informer, and concerted with the police this visit made to
the Château de la Carque at the critical moment when
every measure had been completed that was necessary to
construct a perfect case against his guilty accomplices.</p>
<p>I need not describe the minute industry or forethought with
which the police agents collected all the details necessary
to support the case. They had brought an able physician, who,
even had Planard failed, would have supplied the necessary
medical evidence.</p>
<p>My trip to Paris, you will believe, had not turned out quite
so agreeably as I had anticipated. I was the principal
witness for the prosecution in this <i>cause
célèbre</i>, with all the
<i>agrémens</i> that attend that enviable position.
Having had an escape, as my friend Whistlewick said, "with a
squeak" for my life, I innocently fancied that I should have
been an object of considerable interest to Parisian society;
but, a good deal to my mortification, I discovered that I was
the object of a good-natured but contemptuous merriment. I
was a <i>balourd, a benêt, un âne</i>, and
figured even in caricatures. I became a sort of public
character, a dignity,</p>
<p><br/>
"Unto which I was not born,"<br/></p>
<p>and from which I fled as soon as I conveniently could,
without even paying my friend, the Marquis d'Harmonville, a
visit at his hospitable chateau.</p>
<p>The Marquis escaped scot-free. His accomplice, the Count, was
executed. The fair Eugenie, under extenuating
circumstances—consisting, so far as I could discover of
her good looks—got off for six years' imprisonment.</p>
<p>Colonel Gaillarde recovered some of his brother's money, out
of the not very affluent estate of the Count and soi-disant
Countess. This, and the execution of the Count, put him in
high good humor. So far from insisting on a hostile meeting,
he shook me very graciously by the hand, told me that he
looked upon the wound on his head, inflicted by the knob of
my stick, as having been received in an honorable though
irregular duel, in which he had no disadvantage or unfairness
to complain of.</p>
<p>I think I have only two additional details to mention. The
bricks discovered in the room with the coffin, had been
packed in it, in straw, to supply the weight of a dead body,
and to prevent the suspicions and contradictions that might
have been excited by the arrival of an empty coffin at the
chateau.</p>
<p>Secondly, the Countess's magnificent brilliants were examined
by a lapidary, and pronounced to be worth about five pounds
to a tragedy queen who happened to be in want of a suite of
paste.</p>
<p>The Countess had figured some years before as one of the
cleverest actresses on the minor stage of Paris, where she
had been picked up by the Count and used as his principal
accomplice.</p>
<p>She it was who, admirably disguised, had rifled my papers in
the carriage on my memorable night-journey to Paris. She also
had figured as the interpreting magician of the palanquin at
the ball at Versailles. So far as I was affected by that
elaborate mystification it was intended to re-animate my
interest, which, they feared, might flag in the beautiful
Countess. It had its design and action upon other intended
victims also; but of them there is, at present, no need to
speak. The introduction of a real corpse—procured from
a person who supplied the Parisian anatomists—involved
no real danger, while it heightened the mystery and kept the
prophet alive in the gossip of the town and in the thoughts
of the noodles with whom he had conferred.</p>
<p>I divided the remainder of the summer and autumn between
Switzerland and Italy.</p>
<p>As the well-worn phrase goes, I was a sadder if not a wiser
man. A great deal of the horrible impression left upon my
mind was due, of course, to the mere action of nerves and
brain. But serious feelings of another and deeper kind
remained. My afterlife was ultimately formed by the shock I
had then received. Those impressions led me—but not
till after many years—to happier though not less
serious thoughts; and I have deep reason to be thankful to
the all-merciful Ruler of events for an early and terrible
lesson in the ways of sin.</p>
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