<SPAN name="CHAPTER_VI"></SPAN><h3>CHAPTER VI</h3>
<h4>BUILDING UP A PERSONALITY</h4>
<br/>
<p>More and more personality is coming into its own as man's greatest
asset. There was never a day when it was not, but in former years this
essential quality was not listed under the name ... <i>personality</i>. Had
we lived in the days of our fathers" youth we would have heard about
"remarkable men," "men of big caliber," "large character," "splendid
presence," and the like. But it remained for our day and generation to
discover the real word—<i>personality</i>—meaning the <i>most perfect
combination possible of man's highest attributes</i>. At least that would
be the definition in its fullest sense.</p>
<p>Of course everyone has a certain personality and, no matter in what
degree, its possession is valuable. Personality is an acorn, so to
speak, which may be cultivated into a sturdy oak. Personality is one's
<i>inner self outwardly expressed</i>. It represents the conquest of our
weaknesses and naturally impresses our strength of character upon
others.</p>
<p>With personality our foundation is firm. On this pedestal we may stand
squarely and face life with equanimity. For such there is no end to
achievement while good health and youthful spirit remain.</p>
<p>It is impossible to come into the presence of a personality without
becoming immediately aware of it. It is reflected by people of <i>small
stature ... poor physiques ... homely visages</i>, as well as men of the
highest physical development. The great Napoleon was just above five
feet while Lincoln towered over the six-foot line. Men of personality
are the last to say die. Their store of <i>combativeness</i> carries them
beyond their real span of existence either in years or achievement.
Thus, the mind shows its mastery over matter. Alexander Pope was still
writing while propped upon the pillows of his death bed. Mark Twain
joked with friends when he knew his hour was at hand.</p>
<p><i>Personality is magnetic.</i> It can charm the friend or put fear into the
heart of the enemy. Joan of Arc, a frail woman, won battles at the head
of her troops. History is filled with incidents where men of personality
have turned defeat into victory by leading their soldiers back into the
fray.</p>
<p>Wholesome personality is the fulfillment of
self-development—physically, mentally and spiritually. But all
personality is not wholesome for it often shows in the face of the man
<i>who is a rogue at heart</i>. Therefore, all personality is not for the
good of the world. It is only of the wholesome kind that we speak. To
such as possess it the goal is divine. Personality could never be
perfected without living a <i>life of preparedness</i> backed up by our most
earnest and honest convictions. Personality is made up of many qualities
and differs in man only as man is different from his brother man.
Perfect personality requires constant care in its development and
constant guard for its safety. It cannot be purchased in the open
market. It must be built upon piece by piece and everything we are
becomes a part of it.</p>
<p>Personality would be indeed imperfect if it did not give us <i>full
poise</i>. If we neglect our physical poise we pull down our mental poise,
likewise our spiritual poise. That is why personality must be kept
constantly protected against encroachment; but this can be so fixed by
purpose, plan, and power of will that it becomes automatically
safeguarded. Once in possession we have only to make it part of our
natural selves and <i>wear it unconsciously</i> to the last breath of life.</p>
<p>Then the question is, why should we allow ourselves to be satisfied with
an imperfect personality? It only reflects back upon ourselves. Haven't
we often heard a man say: "<i>He is all right but</i>...!" Perhaps the
personality in question was untidy, or that his walk was that of a
laggard, or that he affected an egotistical air of
superiority—whatever the impairment it should have been done away with.</p>
<p>A man of personality should never be haunted with worry from the sneers
of his inferiors because of their own laxity. Some men perfect their
manner of speech to a degree which takes it above that of their weaker
fellows, others develop fine qualities which are viewed by ordinary
individuals as affectations but which are in reality the result of
<i>innate refinement</i>.</p>
<p>The man of no refinement has indeed an uphill fight but with persistence
and ambition to succeed he can win. Lincoln, the rail splitter, is the
most shining example of <i>the power to will victory</i>. For him to have
fallen by the wayside would have caused no comment for it would have
been expected in those early days of struggle, but to those who have the
benefit of inherited tendencies toward personality, to fail in its
development is in the nature of a crime.</p>
<p>Personality does not mean over-refinement. <i>Sturdy qualities</i> are the
necessary ones. Over-refinement leads to the softer life and ofttimes to
degeneracy. Exalted ego is an indication of degeneracy and may have
been inherited. Of those things we inherit that are good we must hold,
and everlastingly must we watch those which are bad. It is never wise to
wander far away from basic principles into preachment. What we need is
guidance along the road to the goal of personality. First of all we need
<i>health</i> and second, <i>the will to do</i>. Next, we must use these weapons
in the right direction, for personality is at its zenith when backed up
by <i>strong physique and brain power</i>.</p>
<p>From previous chapters we have learned that success of any kind is
predicated upon keeping ourselves in trim, and in good humor. Keeping in
trim is no trick at all. We can make it a part of every physical action
and as keeping in trim means perfection of body and soundness of mind we
should never neglect to utilize any effort that will help us toward
bodily efficiency. <i>There is exercise in stooping over to pick up a pin
if we will go about it the right way. We can correct an ill-formed body
by adopting and maintaining a certain carriage. We may hold our chin in
such a way as to provide against stooped shoulders.</i></p>
<p>We have opportunities both morning and evening to indulge in various
forms of light, systematic exercises which will push forward the day's
work with zest and vim.</p>
<p>Poise has everything to do with personality, therefore the physical
structure must come in for its share of proper attention. No man of
refined personality would walk the streets with a soiled face or
uncombed hair. Such things do not give poise. They are the evidences of
a laggard spirit. The more we exercise the more energetic we become, the
surer we are of ourselves, the farther we get in the development of our
personality.</p>
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<ANTIMG src="images/image-6.jpg" width-obs="378" height-obs="600" alt="Over the Hills and Far Away—Father and Son" title="">
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<br/>
<SPAN name="CHAPTER_VII"></SPAN><h3>CHAPTER VII</h3>
<h4>HONESTY, THE CHARACTER BUILDER</h4>
<br/>
<p>Just as the straight line is the shortest distance between two points so
is honesty the only proper attitude of one person toward another.
Without it there is no understanding possible. It must always remain
supreme as a quality without which character becomes a sham, a
superficial thing that has no basis in fact. <i>The ability to look the
other fellow in the eye</i> is as necessary to character as the foundation
is to a house. It comes out of that "<i>great within</i>" which we are now
exploring. It arises from the courageous facing of our weaknesses and
becomes a part of the man <i>who knows himself and laughs with life</i>, at
the mere joy of living, doing, accomplishing ... winning against all
odds.</p>
<p>Honesty accompanies a proper self-esteem and its cultivation should
become a part of our earliest education. It doesn't grow anywhere
except within ourselves and will never be handed to us on a silver
platter. If we fail to find it when we are young it will have small
chance of obtaining a grip on us later. <i>It is the one quality with
which to crown our highest attributes.</i> It is final proof that we are
capable of just thought and square dealing, and is proof positive that
we are part and parcel of the wholesome spirit which rules the universe.
Its possession is greater than riches for its dividend is happiness and
contentment and we cannot go wrong if we so live that we can look any
man in the eye and <i>tell him the truth</i>.</p>
<p>To live in the full sense means to be alert. Whatever high moral plane
we shall achieve must be held against all temptation. There is no
compromise. <i>Self-deceit</i> is nothing less than <i>self-stultification</i>. We
only fool ourselves and soon find ourselves slipping down hill. It will
be hard climbing getting back. And what of the wear and tear on our
ambitions meanwhile!</p>
<p>Honesty does not grow naturally out of a dull, uninspired life. It goes
with the energetic, the forceful. The dull soul who is content to plod
along year after year in the same rut may be honest, and this one
redeeming feature may be of such inestimable value to him that it
sweetens and softens his entire days. It will bring him friends ...
true-blue friends, who will excuse all other shortcomings <i>because of
his honesty</i>. It gives him the unadulterated trust of his employer and
it arouses a certain admiration among his narrow circle of
acquaintances. If this is true with the dullard, the weakling, then what
must it mean <i>when possessed by the great?</i> We know, for instance, how
the nation instinctively turned to General Washington when it came to
choosing their President after the Revolutionary War. He may have been
gifted, he may have been one of the world's greatest captains, but the
one quality which endeared him to his countrymen was a tremendous moral
superiority. "<i>He never told a lie</i>" rang around the world. Summed up,
his virtues amounted to those five words. Some statesmen may have been
more astute but Washington was honest—"<i>he never told a lie</i>." The
people knew they could trust this man so they elected him to fill the
highest place within their gift.</p>
<p>Honesty with ourselves is the first thing to remember. Unless we are, it
will be impossible for us to enter into that spiritual contentment
enjoyed by those who <i>are</i> honest with themselves. If we are untrue to
ourselves how can we be true to others? The framework of a man's moral
being must be that of honesty. It must become his very nature and become
automatic in its processes. It belongs to the healthy, those who keep
themselves well through <i>vigorous exercise and temperate living</i>. It is
not a quality set aside for the lucky few. Every man, woman and child
possesses it in some degree and only its constant neglect trims it to a
minimum. It is one of those fundamentals of life, one of those powerful
and moving forces that rule society. <i>We are either honest or we are
not.</i> We cannot be <i>nearly honest</i> and get away with it.</p>
<p>When one stops to consider honesty, even for a moment, its full
importance is realized. For example, imagine having a dishonest friend.
Could we go to him with the secrets of our heart? Could we trust him?
Would we trust anyone who might turn traitor? Again: suppose we were
untrue to ourselves, and the fact became known. Could we blame others if
they passed us up as a companion? Never in a thousand years. <i>We must
sleep in the beds we prepare for ourselves.</i></p>
<p>Men have grown accustomed through the years to certain standards. These
are now the moral laws which control and guide the destinies of entire
races, whole generations. There must have been a good reason for these
laws or they could never have come into being. Society does not adopt
many unnecessary rules, but among the vital laws <i>honesty stands out in
bold relief</i>. It has become deeply imbedded in the minds of mankind that
everyone must be true to himself. It is taken for granted that those who
are not would naturally be <i>false to everybody</i>.</p>
<p>The reason for this lies in the fact that society will not proceed with
any course of action without being able to trust its members. The
general in charge of an army would have a hard time of it if he were
unable to place faith in the subordinate to whom he gave instructions
that might lead to a crisis in the battle. Society would dash itself
upon the rocks were it not conscious that certain people are
courageously honest, <i>and in these it finds its leaders</i>.</p>
<p>To rise in life means that our fellow man believes in us and wishes us
to do so. Without his co-operation it would be futile to arouse our own
ambitions. We could not hope to win a victory all alone and against the
great majority who believe in certain standards and conditions. We might
fool ourselves into thinking that because of some stroke of fortune we
had established an immunity for ourselves. But some day <i>our
consciences</i> would tell us how feebly we had succeeded.</p>
<p>There is only one method, only one way ... rise through honesty and an
optimistic belief in self. And let us not plume ourselves because of
our virtue. <i>Personal honesty is our due to ourselves and our fellow
man.</i></p>
<p>One of the distinctive elements in the honest man's make-up is that of
laughter. The ones who live up to their ideals, do not feel that life is
such a dark place, after all. It may mean hard work, little play and
often delayed rewards but the fact that there is a world, and that it is
filled with other honest souls is reward enough to give us courage to
laugh as we go along. <i>We can always afford to laugh—when we're
honest</i>.</p>
<p>The man who is innately honest has no reason to fear the snares of
fortune. He knows that he can win the trust of men; he knows that he
already has it. He has no dread of looking into the other fellow's eye.
He knows where he stands in life. He has won that which he has through
struggle, and he does not intend to lose it. He does not intend to fail.
<i>He cannot fail—he cannot lose.</i> No matter how things might go at this
moment or that the next will find him on the rising tide of new
opportunities—-new chances. His reputation travels before him like the
advance agent. His coming is heralded and he is welcomed into any
community.</p>
<p>It isn't as though there were only a few honest men. This welcome, this
"glad hand," is always extended by society to the honest man as a token
of approval. The world's work is a tremendous matter. There is always
room for another worker to handle some part of it. And only the true,
the sincere, are capable of doing this in the proper way. The leaders of
society in the broader sense are those <i>who win the faith of the average
man</i>. We look up to Lincoln because we know that he was the one man in a
million to accomplish the greatest task ever set before a human being.
We realize that he was honest—<i>honest in the huge sense</i> so necessary
to the accomplishment of big ideals. And we know that in order to win
some part of that great trust we must obey the standards of honesty and
decency that lie below the surface and only need to be called to life
and action in order to be used.</p>
<p>And laughter will arouse that sense as quickly as anything else. The man
who is capable of laughing heartily is not apt to be the one who
carries some <i>conscience-stricken thought around with him</i>. It is the
easiest thing in the world to detect an untrue laugh. The real laugh
springs out of the depths of being and comes with a ringing sense of
security and <i>faith in one's self</i>. It goes with the workman in the
early morning when he swings along the road to the factory. It
accompanies the soldier into battle. It arouses the clerk from lethargy.
It brightens the sick room. It raises us all to unexplored heights, and
as evidence of our state of mind it can only mean one thing—honesty and
sincerity. No character can exist without this outward exhibition of an
inward honesty. <i>The mere cultivation of laughter would eventually lead
to honesty.</i> The fact that you are laughing, enjoying life, awakens you
to a spirit of security and a feeling of the joy of living. Gloomy men
are the ones whose tendency is toward crime and trouble. Laughing men
are the ones who stir the world with new desires and make life worth
living. Therefore we say—<i>laugh and live!</i></p>
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<ANTIMG src="images/image-7.jpg" width-obs="600" height-obs="425" alt="A Scene from "His Picture in the Papers"" title="">
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<br/>
<SPAN name="CHAPTER_VIII"></SPAN><h3>CHAPTER VIII</h3>
<h4>CLEANLINESS OF BODY AND MIND</h4>
<br/>
<p>If we interview many of life's failures we will find that the
overwhelming majority went down because of their neglect to get out of
an environment that was not stimulating and because their ambitions had
grown rusty and inefficient to cope with depressing circumstances. The
prisons and other institutions are filled with people who did not make
any attempt to get away from the vicious surroundings in which they
lived. They were like tadpoles that had never grown to frogs ... they
just kept swimming around in their muddy puddles and, not having grown
legs with which they could leap out onto the banks and away to other
climes, they continued to swim in monotonous circles until they died. In
other words, the failure is a man who dwells in muddy atmosphere all his
days, who is content to remain a tadpole and who never attempts to take
advantage of any opportunity. He becomes unclean, so to speak. And that
is what we mean by this chapter heading "<i>Cleanliness of Body and
Mind</i>." It was not intended to point out the proper way to keep our
faces and hands clean, or as a sermon, but rather to show ourselves that
<i>the clean body begets the clean mind</i>, the two together constituting
compelling tendencies toward <i>the clean spirit</i>. A move in the direction
of these takes us out of the rut of life.</p>
<p>No matter what cause we dig up with which to explain our success in life
we cannot neglect this most important one—<i>the careful selection of our
acquaintances</i>. And this doesn't mean that one must be a snob. Far from
it. It only means that the successful man, the man who wishes to rise in
life, should not spend his days in the company of <i>illiterate
companions</i> who do not possess <i>ambition of heart or the will to do the
work of the world</i>. It means that life is too short to hang around the
loafing places with the driftwood of humanity listening to their stories
of failure and drinking in with liquor some of their bitterness against
those who have toiled and won the fruits of their toil. It means that we
will not go out of our way to seek the friendship of men and women who
are simply endeavoring to gain happiness in life without paying for it.
It means that we will do all in our power to win friends who <i>aspire
nobly</i> and by so doing inspire those with whom they come in contact.
Such men are naturally clean of mind and body.</p>
<p>We must remember always to live in a world of clear thought that will
<i>stimulate our ambitions</i>. Dwelling in the dark corners of life and
traveling with the débris of humanity will not arouse us to action and
give us that swinging vigor of heart and mind so necessary to the
accomplishment of great things. While we will ever lend the helping hand
to those who need it we will naturally associate with those who have vim
and courage. We will not be <i>dragged down by our associates</i>. Until we
meet the right kind we will hold aloof, and we will not be morose and
gloomy because it happens that at this moment our acquaintanceship does
not include these successes. When we have succeeded in doing something
big they will come to us and <i>if we think big things we are likely to do
them</i>. It is all a matter of the will to do.</p>
<p>"Nothing succeeds like success," said some very wise man and if there
ever was a phrase that rang with truth this does. It means that the
<i>thought of success</i>, the courage that <i>comes with success</i>, leads to
<i>more and more success</i>. It means that the thinker of these thoughts is
living in a clean, wholesome atmosphere along with those who are
determined and in earnest. It means that they have caught the fervor of
true life ... a healthy, contagious fervor which permeates the blood
swiftly once it gets a hold, and like electricity it vivifies and stirs
the spirit with renewed energy <i>day after day, year after year</i>. Once it
wins us it will stick with us. The success of those about us will shake
our lethargic limbs and stimulate us to a desire to do as they do. We
will be in a world of clean thought and action and our lives will mirror
their lives, our thoughts will be filled with wholesome things and with
good health. We will win in spite of all obstacles.</p>
<p>Cleanliness is <i>the morale of the body and the mind</i>. The man who is
careful of his linen and who does not neglect his morning plunge is not
apt to be gloomy and morose. We notice him in the car or on the street
in the morning. He comes striding along, fresh and full of <i>the zest of
living</i>. His mind is clear and unclouded. His eyes are full of that
vigorous light of conscientious desire to win and do so honestly. He has
none of the hypocritical elements in his nature strong enough to rule
him. There may be and probably are many weaknesses in his character. His
very strength consists in his ability to <i>crush them and make them his
slaves</i>.</p>
<p>The man who has taken his morning plunge and dressed himself agreeable
to comfort and grace, has his battles of the day won in advance. He
knows the value of keeping himself in trim. He does it for the sake of
<i>his own</i> feelings. Our approval of his appearance goes without saying.
If a man thinks well of himself in matters of appearance his general
deportment is likely to coincide. Such men never overdo. They are at
ease with themselves and thus impart ease to others who come in contact
with them. They have, in other words, a distinction of their own and
<i>their distinction is their power</i>. They know that the highest moral law
of nature is that of cleanliness, that filthiness should not be allowed
to dominate any man's ethics or physical condition. They rule such
things out of their lives.</p>
<p>A vast magnetic force comes out of those friends of ours who are <i>doing
things</i> and making the world <i>sit up and take notice</i>. The mere fact
that we live near to them, know them and associate with them is
proof-positive that we, too, shall go through life with clean minds and
bodies. They would not tolerate us if we were to slip into shoddy ways.
Nothing is revealed quicker to our intimates than <i>the losing of
ambition</i> ... the slipping into careless habits. We cannot conceal it
from them. We fool only those who brush by. The loss of this
self-respect has a terrible effect upon the system and every tendency
toward success is thereby stunted and weakened. <i>We have fallen into
unclean ways!</i> It will not be long before we sink to the bottom or else
remain among the vast crowd who have neither the courage to fall nor the
courage to rise.</p>
<p>Nothing produces failure quicker than filthiness of mind and body. Those
who are successful keep away from the very thought of such a condition.
They live as much as possible <i>in the open</i>. They take morning and
evening exercises. They read good books, attend good plays and are
continually in touch with the finer developments of thought and art in
the world. Their faces are open and full of sunlight. They are
determined that life will not beat them in a game that only requires
sureness of aim and the ability to take advantage of the thousand and
one opportunities that surround them on every side.</p>
<p>Cleanliness stands <i>paramount</i> in its importance to <i>success</i>. Perhaps
no other one thing has so vital a hold upon the individual who succeeds.
The general of an army first looks to the <i>morale</i> of his troops. He
knows that with clean minds and bodies his soldiers are capable of doing
big things. The battleship, that efficient and highly-developed
instrument of war, is so immaculate that one could eat his meals on its
very decks. Its officers are wholesome, athletic fellows; its crew
consists of hardy men who live sanely and vigorously and who have plenty
to occupy their minds. And if cleanliness is fundamental in their case
why not in our own?</p>
<p>When we come to analyze ourselves we find that we are like a great
institution of some kind. Here is the brain, the heart, the lungs, the
stomach, the nerves and the muscles. Each department acts separately and
yet is connected absolutely with all the others. The entire system is
under one supreme department ... <i>the mind</i>. Now if this ruling
department is kept clean and full, of kindly, beautiful thoughts does it
not seem natural that the rest will follow its lead being so completely
in its power? We realize this and the mere realization is something done
towards the accomplishment of an ideal life in a world of cleanliness
and beauty.</p>
<p>System is one of the finest tools in existence with which to build one's
life into something worth while. The <i>body</i> must be run on a system as
well as the <i>mind</i>. The stomach must not be overloaded with unnecessary
food. The lungs must not be filled with impure air. The nerves must not
be worn threadbare in riotous and ridiculous living. The muscles must be
kept in trim with consistent exercise of the proper sort. We must
recognize the wants, the needs of the physical system and see that they
are supplied.</p>
<p>Roosevelt, perhaps more than any other living man today, has given
vitality to the supreme necessity of <i>cleanliness of mind and body</i>. He
has, by reason of his great prominence, been able to emphasize these two
vital essentials. He called a spade a spade and his message went far.
From those who knew the value of his words came nods of
approval—<i>others took heed</i>. From boyhood he has systematized his life,
taking the exercise needed, filling his mind with the learning of the
world, winning when others would have failed, profiting by experience
allotted to him through fate's kindly offices and association with the
<i>healthy, true men</i>. What has been the result? He has risen to the very
pinnacle of human endeavor ... <i>no honors await him</i>. He has lived
consistently and cleanly and he can look any man in the eye and say
honestly: "<i>I have lived as I have believed.</i>"</p>
<p>It is not necessary to become President in order to live sanely, to gain
from circumstances the fruits that are ours for the asking and which
have fallen into Roosevelt's hands with such profusion. We cannot all
become Presidents but we can all <i>emulate a shining example of mental
and bodily morale</i>.</p>
<p>Just as we plunge into the cold water in the early morning so should we
regularly during the day plunge into the society of those whose splendid
enthusiasm is helping to make the world a better place to live in. They
are the kind who go into the struggle with heads high and with clean
hearts. Their eyes see beyond the daily toil of life. They are in touch
with the big things and it is up to us to keep step with them. They want
us and they will give us the "glad hand." All they want to know is
whether our courage is equal to our ambitions and whether our <i>house of
life is kept in good order</i>. And so we journey along together in all
good nature, not forgetting to laugh as we live.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="CHAPTER_IX"></SPAN><h3>CHAPTER IX</h3>
<h4>CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS</h4>
<br/>
<p>Consideration for others is man's noblest attitude toward his fellow
man. For every seed of human kindness he plants, <i>a flower blooms in the
garden of his own heart</i>. In him who gives in such a way there is no
hypocritical feeling of charity bestowed. His very act disarms the
thought. It is as natural for an honorable man to show consideration to
others as it is for him to eat and sleep. Acts of kindness are the
<i>outward manifestations of gentle breeding</i>—a refinement of character
in the highest sense of the word.</p>
<p>What would we do in this world without the helping hand, the friendly
word of cheer, the thought that others shared our losses and cheered our
victories? If consideration for our feelings and thoughts did not exist
on this earth we would never know the depths of the love of our friends.
There would be no such thing as an earthly reward of merit. We know that
no matter what happens to us in the battle of life there will be someone
to cheer us on our way. We may be strong and thoroughly able to rely
upon ourselves but there comes a time when we need friendship and
sympathy. Society would crumble into dust without these influences. The
family circle would degenerate into a hollow mockery if consideration
each for the other was absent. It sweetens and makes wholesome what
otherwise might only be an existence of monotonous toil.</p>
<p>Consideration for others is <i>the milk of human kindness</i>. For what we do
for others our recompense is <i>in the act itself</i> ... we should claim no
other reward. Observation brings to view that they who give in real
charity <i>cloak their acts from the eyes of all save the recipient</i>.
Givers of this type rise to the supreme heights of greatness. It is a
part of their wisdom to know what is best to be done and they go about
it as a pleasure as well as a duty.</p>
<p>Consideration for others pays big dividends. It is a virtue that makes
for strong friendships and true affections. Those who possess it have a
hard time hiding their light under a bushel. In teaching fortitude to
others they partake of the same knowledge. In the hours of their own
affliction they retain their courage and keep their minds unsoured. They
are the <i>sure-enough "good fellows" of life</i> and their presence is the
signal for instantaneous good cheer. We all know them by their gentle
knock at the door. In a thousand ways they impress themselves upon our
lives, have entered into our councils, have given us the right advice at
the right time—and when the sad day comes along <i>their strong shoulders
are there for us to lean upon</i>.</p>
<p>Consideration for others is apt to be an inherent quality, but like
everything else it can be accentuated or modified according to our own
determination. It is a growth that should be inculcated <i>early in the
lives of children</i>—the earlier the better. A child's most
impressionable age is said to be between its fourth and fifth years.
Then is the time to teach it the little niceties of life—the closing of
a door softly—tip-toeing quietly that mother may not be awakened from
her nap—tidiness—cleanliness—good morals—all of which are to become
vital factors in a life of consideration for others.</p>
<p>A great many of us have the desire to be of service to others but
<i>timidity</i> holds us back. Say, for instance, one might see a person in
great distress and because of diffidence withhold the proffered
hand—someone we've known who comes to the point of penury but has <i>too
much pride</i> to ask assistance—we pass by fearful that we might offend.
How many times has this happened to us? Who knows but the best friend we
have at this very moment would give anything in the world if his pride
would let him bridge that distance between us.</p>
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<p>Nevertheless the desire to do the right thing was in itself helpful. The
thought of doing something for someone was a correct impulse and
should have been carried into action. Early in life we should have
started our foundation for doing things in the cause of others. Putting
off the time when we shall begin to obey our higher impulses toward
helpfulness to our fellows is but a reaction in our own characters which
<i>dulls determination</i>. We want to do but we don't. As time goes on we
just <i>don't</i>—that's all. Our good intentions have gone to pave the
bottomless pits containing our unfulfilled heart promptings. We meant
well—<i>but we failed to act</i>—we didn't have the courage. Our failures
spread a gloom before us. <i>We lost our chances for a happy life!</i></p>
<p>The man with the ability to laugh has little diffidence about these
matters. Having confidence in himself and being happy and alert he goes
to the friend in need with courage and the kind of help that helps. If
he doesn't do it directly he finds a way to reach him through mutual
friends. He does not go about <i>parading</i> his kindness, either. He has
gained a sincere and beautiful pleasure out of aiding an old friend and
he can go on his way rejoicing that life is worth living when he has
lived up to its higher ideals.</p>
<p>Consideration for others does not necessarily involve only the big
things. It is the sum and total of numberless acts and thoughts that
make for friendships and kindliness. People who are thoughtful surely
brighten the world. They are ever ready to do some little thing at the
correct moment and after a time we begin to realize how much their
presence means to us. We may not notice them the first time, or the
third, or the fifth, but after a while we become conscious of their
persistence and we esteem them accordingly. Such men are the products of
<i>clean, straightforward lives.</i> They are never too busy to exchange a
pleasant word. They do not flame into anger on a pretext. Their code of
existence is well ordered and filled to the brim with lots to do and
lots to think about. The old saying: "<i>If you want anything go to a busy
man</i>," applies to them in this regard. The busier men are the more time
they seem to have for <i>kindliness</i>.</p>
<p>Another word for consideration is service. Nothing brings a greater
self-reward than a service done in an hour of need, or a favor granted
during a day's grind. The generous man who climbs to the top of the
ladder helps many others on their way. The more he does for someone else
the more he does for <i>himself</i>. The stronger he becomes—the greater his
influence in his community. Doing things for others may not bring in
<i>bankable dividends</i> but it does bring in <i>happiness</i>. Such actions
scorn a higher reward. We have only to try out the plan to learn the
truth for ourselves. A good place to begin is <i>at home</i>. Then, <i>the
office</i>, or wherever life leads us. And in doing these things we will
laugh as we go along—we will laugh and get the most out of living.</p>
<p>Our little day-by-day kindnesses when added together constitute in time
a huge asset on the right side of our ledger of life. We should start
the day with something that helps another get through his day ... even
if it isn't any more than a smile and a wave of the hand. And he will
remember us for it.</p>
<p>It is said that advice is cheap and for that reason is given freely.
But the proper kind of advice is about as rare as the proverbial hen's
tooth. In order to give real advice we must understand the man who asks
for it. If what we say to him is to become of value we must see to it
that his mind is put in proper shape to receive advice. Be sure that he
laughs, or smiles at least, before we seriously take up his case. And
when we have done our stunt in the way of advice let's send him away
with a fine good humor. A friendly pat on the back as he goes out our
doorway may mean a bracer to his determination. "<i>You'll put it over</i>,"
we shout after him—and thus we have been of real help. He needed
sympathy and courage. He needed a cheerful spirit—so came to us and we
didn't let him go away until we gave him all these. Bully for us!</p>
<p>Consideration for others does not admit of ostentation and hypocrisy. We
never allow our left hand to know what our right hand does in charity,
nor do we <i>boast of our helpful attitude toward our fellow men</i>. It is
well to make a point of this fact—in this world are many
"<i>ne'er-do-wells"</i> who fail to profit by advice and thereby become
professional in the seeking of favors. Consideration owes them nothing
and to withstand their persistent appeals would in time <i>dull our
natural tendencies</i> toward helping others.</p>
<p>The world helps those who help themselves. We have little admiration for
the man who is forever whining. Society has no work for such people as
these. When we have exhausted every means of helping such a man we must
in self-defense pass him up before he contaminates our sense of justice.
<i>We must keep our visions clear.</i></p>
<p>Consideration for others is a prime refinement of character. To be able
to use it in our daily lives becomes one of our greatest consolations.
Sympathy begets affection and kindly deeds—in a relative sense it binds
together the properties which go to make <i>the soul within us</i>.
Browbeating, scolding, irascibility and the like are microbes which
react against the milk of human kindness, to which, if we succumb,
leaves us stranded and alone amid a world of friendliness and good
fellowship.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="CHAPTER_X"></SPAN><h3>CHAPTER X</h3>
<h4>KEEPING OURSELVES DEMOCRATIC</h4>
<br/>
<p>Big words and pomposity never were designed for the highest types of
men. Our great national figures have almost without exception had one
quality which was a keynote to their ultimate success—this was their
<i>simplicity</i>. Next was their <i>accessibility</i>. There are numberless
big-hearted and big-brained individuals in the world whose duties are so
manifold that in order to accomplish what has been placed in their hands
they must be saved from interruption, but the truly great individual is
never hidden away entirely from his fellow man. He never becomes such a
slave to detail that he does not find time to fraternize with ordinary
mortals. We do not find him concealed behind impenetrable barriers,
guarded and pampered by courtiers like unto a king on his throne—or
tucked away in some dark office. He wants to know <i>everybody worth
while</i> and everybody worth while is welcomed by him. He doesn't affect
to know so much that he cannot be told something new. He is not the sort
to refuse to see us at any reasonable time.</p>
<p>We should not confound <i>greatness</i>, however, with <i>notoriety</i>. A man who
by virtue of large publicity has compelled public notice isn't
necessarily a great man no matter how hard he may strive to make himself
appear so. Especially is this true of the man who does not make a
personal success corresponding to his advertised fame. In time he may
have the "ear-marks" of notability but, as Lincoln said: "<i>You can't
fool all of the people all of the time.</i>"</p>
<p>It is to be noted with satisfaction that the big captains of industry
keep themselves free from petty details. "I surrounded myself with
clever men," said Andrew Carnegie in accounting for his success and by
the same token the men who took over his great affairs and gave them
larger scope and power surrounded themselves with still other clever
men, thus reserving their judgment and thought <i>for the higher policies
of their institutions</i>. They keep themselves in readiness for
consultation, and having men of <i>initiative</i> and <i>self-reliance</i>
underneath them, they find time to take in hand other affairs than those
of the tremendous businesses they manage. Men of this type often become
prominent in public affairs and develop into highly important citizens.</p>
<p>The bigger the man, the less he encumbers himself with matters which can
be delegated to others. His desk is clear of all litter and
minutia—<i>likewise his mind</i>. Such men keep their physiques and
mentalities in fine working order and are not to be goaded into <i>ill
temper</i>. A refinement of mind is supremely essential to the man who
desires to climb to the very top of the ladder. He cannot afford to
close his brain to outside information. He is forced to keep it open in
order to let in continuous currents of new thought. He doesn't want his
visage to "<i>cream and mantle as a standing pond</i>" as Shakespeare aptly
puts it—therefore the windows of his thinking department are kept open
for refreshing draughts from the outside. He reasons that always there
are new guests, new faces, new things to talk about at the banquet board
of life.</p>
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<p>And here is the point—if men who carry on the great industries of the
world find a way to keep themselves democratic surely men of less
importance should be able to do the same? The snob is about as offensive
a person as could be described. He is usually a hypocrite or an
ignoramus—sometimes both. His pomposity is naturally repellent. We
easily become accustomed to dodging such characters. The detriment is
theirs—not ours. They are left by the wayside and sooner or later wake
up to the fact that they stand alone in the world.</p>
<p>The world loves the man with <i>an open mind</i>. This is the usual spirit of
the progressive citizen. <i>He wants to know</i>—and by reason of his
accessibility knowledge is brought to him. No one cares to take up the
task of informing the egotist who already knows it all. Such is his
inherent cussedness that we would rather let him warp in the oven of
his own half-baked knowledge. Life is too short to waste our time in
educating him.</p>
<p>"How can I see Mr. So-and-so?" says one man to another.</p>
<p>"Don't try," is the answer. "He's not worth seeing. You can't tell <i>him</i>
anything."</p>
<p>And this sort of a chap misses the big opportunities just because he
chooses to build up a reputation for being exclusive. He digs himself a
hole and crawls into it <i>and pulls the hole in after him</i>. We can safely
imagine him treating the members of his family as though they were
servants, and his employees as though they were slaves. He may succeed
in small things but in the big game of life we may write him down as a
failure.</p>
<p>If we have a big idea we take it to a big man—<i>the man of vision</i>.
Anything less is to putter around aimlessly. The bigger he is, the more
democratic. He will not look for imperfections in our personal make-up
when we show him the <i>new process</i> we have discovered.</p>
<p>To be democratic is a triumph of the soul—tending to bring us in close
touch with the throbbing heart of humanity. There is no isolation for
those of unaffected charm and manner—no barrier in the way of
friendship worth having. It is our lack of judgment if we hide ourselves
so that we cannot be approached. No matter how high we rise, for the
sake of our own brains we must allow <i>men of ideas</i> to get to us. We
must not allow our minds to become stagnant. If we fail to get into
daily contact with other people, we soon grow dull and uninteresting
even to ourselves. Great men may have no time to fritter away but they
have plenty of leisure for men worth while—<i>the pushers and the
thinkers</i>.</p>
<p>A democratic spirit does not come to the selfish man. He is absorbed in
himself and is quite a hopeless case. He is a natural born faultfinder
and grouchy by nature. For him life holds no joy save the one in sight.
Taking the big look at the man of this type we can only be sorry for him
because of his lack of early training. He started off on the wrong foot
and thereafter drifted along. Seldom do we overcome the habits with
which we arrive at man's estate. Those who do are entitled to a right
hand seat among the chosen.</p>
<p>Being democratic is another phrase for being <i>human and kind</i>. It means
that we ought to be able to see behind every face and find the truth of
that individual's existence. It means that life is largely a matter of
how we look at it and being human is one way to get the proper slant at
things.</p>
<p>The human mind has <i>great adaptive power</i> and can be molded into a
thousand ways of thinking. The intelligent man, the man who has taken
stock of himself, is able to smile and extend a hearty handclasp whether
he feels tip-top or not. He doesn't have to look glum simply because the
world hasn't thrown itself at his feet. He has only to persevere and
success will come eventually.</p>
<p>We must correct our failings as we go along or we will slip down into
the rut and stay there. It is a simple matter to be good natured and
full of the zest of life if we poise ourselves right—<i>keep ourselves
democratic</i>. It is this great soul quality which brings us true friends
and boosts us into the fulfillment of our ambitions. Then we may truly
<i>laugh and live</i>.</p>
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