Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 03

<h2>A BALLADE OF THE "HOW TO" BOOKS</h2> <h3>BY JOHN JAMES DAVIES</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">That time when Learning's path was steep,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And rocks and fissures marred the way,<br/></span> <span class="i0">The few who dared were forced to creep,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Their souls oft quaking with dismay;<br/></span> <span class="i0">The goal achieved, their hairs were gray,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Their bodies bent like shepherds' crooks;<br/></span> <span class="i0">How blest are we who run to-day<br/></span> <span class="i1">The easy road of "How To" books!<br/></span></div> <div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">The presses groan, and volumes heap,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Our dullness we no more betray;<br/></span> <span class="i0">To know the stars, or shear a sheep&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i2">To live on air, or polo play;<br/></span> <span class="i0">The trick is ours, or we may stray<br/></span> <span class="i2">Beneath the seas, with science cooks,<br/></span> <span class="i0">And sprint by some reflected ray<br/></span> <span class="i2">The easy road of "How To" books!<br/></span></div> <div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">Who craves the boon of dreamless sleep?<br/></span> <span class="i2">Who bricks would make, <i>sans</i> straw or clay?<br/></span> <span class="i0">"Call spirits from the vasty deep,"<br/></span> <span class="i2">Or weave a lofty, living lay?<br/></span> <span class="i0">Let him be heartened, jocund, gay,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Nor hopeless writhe on tenter-hooks,&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i0">They meet no barriers who essay<br/></span> <span class="i2">The easy road of "How To" books!<br/></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_417" id="Page_417"></SPAN></span></div> </div> <h4>ENVOY</h4> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">The critics still <i>will</i> slash and slay<br/></span> <span class="i2">Poor hapless scribes, in sanctum nooks;<br/></span> <span class="i0">Lo! here's a refuge for their prey&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i2">The easy road of "How To" books!<br/></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_418" id="Page_418"></SPAN></span></div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />