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Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 04

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<h2>DE STOVE PIPE HOLE[7]</h2> <h3>BY WILLIAM HENRY DRUMMOND</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> Dat's very cole an' stormy night on Village St. Mathieu, W'en ev'ry wan he's go couché, an' dog was quiet, too— Young Dominique is start heem out see Emmeline Gourdon, Was leevin' on her fader's place, Maxime de Forgeron. </div> <div class="stanza"> Poor Dominique he's lak dat girl, an' love her mos' de tam, An' she was mak' de promise—sure—some day she be his famme, But she have worse ole fader dat's never on de worl', Was swear onless he's riche lak diable, no feller's get hees girl. </div> <div class="stanza"> He's mak' it plaintee fuss about hees daughter Emmeline, Dat's mebby nice girl, too, but den, Mon Dieu, she's not de queen! An' w'en de young man's come aroun' for spark it on de door, An' hear de ole man swear "Bapteme!" he's never come no more. </div> <div class="stanza"> Young Dominique he's sam' de res',—was scare for ole Maxime, He don't lak risk hese'f too moche for chances seein' heem, Dat's only stormy night he come, so dark you can not see, An dat's de reason w'y also, he's climb de gallerie. </div> <div class="stanza"> De girl she's waitin' dere for heem—don't care about de rain, So glad for see young Dominique he's comin' back again, Dey bote forget de ole Maxime, an' mak de embrasser An affer dey was finish dat, poor Dominique is say— </div> <div class="stanza"> "Good-by, dear Emmeline, good-by; I'm goin' very soon, For you I got no better chance, dan feller on de moon— It's all de fault your fader, too, dat I be go away, He's got no use for me at all—I see dat ev'ry day. </div> <div class="stanza"> "He's never meet me on de road but he is say 'Sapré!' An' if he ketch me on de house I'm scare he's killin' me, So I mus' lef' ole St. Mathieu, for work on 'noder place, An' till I mak de beeg for-tune, you never see ma face." </div> <div class="stanza"> Den Emmeline say "Dominique, ma love you'll alway be An' if you kiss me two, t'ree tam I'll not tole noboddy— But prenez garde ma fader, please, I know he's gettin' ole— All sam' he offen walk de house upon de stockin' sole. </div> <div class="stanza"> "Good-by, good-by, cher Dominique! I know you will be true, I don't want no riche feller me, ma heart she go wit' you," Dat's very quick he's kiss her den, before de fader come, But don't get too moche pleasurement—so 'fraid de ole Bonhomme. </div> <div class="stanza"> Wall! jus' about dey're half way t'roo wit all dat love beez-nesse Emmeline say, "Dominique, w'at for you're scare lak all de res'? Don't see mese'f moche danger now de ole man come aroun'," W'en minute affer dat, dere's noise, lak' house she's fallin' down. </div> <div class="stanza"> Den Emmeline she holler "Fire! will no wan come for me?" An' Dominique is jomp so high, near bus' de gallerie,— "Help! help! right off," somebody shout, "I'm killin' on ma place, It's all de fault ma daughter, too, dat girl she's ma disgrace." </div> <div class="stanza"> He's kip it up long tam lak dat, but not hard tellin' now, W'at's all de noise upon de house—who's kick heem up de row? It seem Bonhomme was sneak aroun' upon de stockin' sole, An' firs' t'ing den de ole man walk right t'roo de stove pipe hole. </div> <div class="stanza"> W'en Dominique is see heem dere, wit' wan leg hang below, An' 'noder leg straight out above, he's glad for ketch heem so— De ole man can't do not'ing, den, but swear and ax for w'y Noboddy tak' heem out dat hole before he's comin' die. </div> <div class="stanza"> Den Dominique he spik lak dis, "Mon cher M'sieur Gourdon I'm not riche city feller, me, I'm only habitant, But I was love more I can tole your daughter Emmeline, An' if I marry on dat girl, Bagosh! she's lak de Queen. </div> <div class="stanza"> "I want you mak de promise now, before it's come too late, An' I mus' tole you dis also, dere's not moche tam for wait. Your foot she's hangin' down so low, I'm 'fraid she ketch de cole, Wall! if you give me Emmeline, I pull you out de hole." </div> <div class="stanza"> Dat mak' de ole man swear more hard he never swear before, An' wit' de foot he's got above, he's kick it on de floor, "Non, non," he say "Sapré tonnerre! she never marry you, An' if you don't look out you get de jail on St. Mathieu." </div> <div class="stanza"> "Correc'," young Dominique is say, "mebbe de jail's tight place, But you got wan small corner, too, I see it on de face, So if you don't lak geev de girl on wan poor habitant, Dat's be mese'f, I say, Bonsoir, mon cher M'sieur Gourdon." </div> <div class="stanza"> "Come back, come back," Maxime is shout—"I promise you de girl, I never see no wan lak you—no never on de worl'! It's not de nice trick you was play on man dat's gettin' ole, But do jus' w'at you lak, so long you pull me out de hole." </div> <div class="stanza"> "Hooraw! Hooraw!" Den Dominique is pull heem out tout suite An' Emmeline she's helpin' too for place heem on de feet, An' affer dat de ole man's tak' de young peep down de stair, W'ere he is go couché right off, an' dey go on parloir. </div> <div class="stanza"> Nex' Sunday morning dey was call by M'sieur le Curé Get marry soon, an' ole Maxime geev Emmeline away; Den affer dat dey settle down lak habitant is do, An' have de mos' fine familee on Village St. Mathieu. </div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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