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<h2> CHAPTER V. THE FIRST NUMBER OF "OUR MAGAZINE" </h2>
<p>The first number of Our Magazine was ready on New Year's Day, and we read
it that evening in the kitchen. All our staff had worked nobly and we were
enormously proud of the result, although Dan still continued to scoff at a
paper that wasn't printed. The Story Girl and I read it turnabout while
the others, except Felix, ate apples. It opened with a short</p>
<p>EDITORIAL</p>
<p>With this number Our Magazine makes its first bow to the public. All the
editors have done their best and the various departments are full of
valuable information and amusement. The tastefully designed cover is by a
famous artist, Mr. Blair Stanley, who sent it to us all the way from
Europe at the request of his daughter. Mr. Peter Craig, our enterprising
literary editor, contributes a touching love story. (Peter, aside, in a
gratified pig's whisper: "I never was called 'Mr.' before.") Miss Felicity
King's essays on Shakespeare is none the worse for being an old school
composition, as it is new to most of our readers. Miss Cecily King
contributes a thrilling article of adventure. The various departments are
ably edited, and we feel that we have reason to be proud of Our Magazine.
But we shall not rest on our oars. "Excelsior" shall ever be our motto. We
trust that each succeeding issue will be better than the one that went
before. We are well aware of many defects, but it is easier to see them
than to remedy them. Any suggestion that would tend to the improvement of
Our Magazine will be thankfully received, but we trust that no criticism
will be made that will hurt anyone's feelings. Let us all work together in
harmony, and strive to make Our Magazine an influence for good and a
source of innocent pleasure, and let us always remember the words of the
poet.</p>
<p>"The heights by great men reached and kept<br/>
Were not attained by sudden flight,<br/>
But they, while their companions slept,<br/>
Were toiling upwards in the night."<br/></p>
<p>(Peter, IMPRESSIVELY:—"I've read many a worse editorial in the
Enterprise.")</p>
<p>ESSAY ON SHAKESPEARE</p>
<p>Shakespeare's full name was William Shakespeare. He did not always spell
it the same way. He lived in the reign of Queen Elizabeth and wrote a
great many plays. His plays are written in dialogue form. Some people
think they were not written by Shakespeare but by another man of the same
name. I have read some of them because our school teacher says everybody
ought to read them, but I did not care much for them. There are some
things in them I cannot understand. I like the stories of Valeria H.
Montague in the Family Guide ever so much better. They are more exciting
and truer to life. Romeo and Juliet was one of the plays I read. It was
very sad. Juliet dies and I don't like stories where people die. I like it
better when they all get married especially to dukes and earls.
Shakespeare himself was married to Anne Hatheway. They are both dead now.
They have been dead a good while. He was a very famous man.</p>
<p>FELICITY KING.<br/></p>
<p>(PETER, MODESTLY: "I don't know much about Shakespeare myself but I've got
a book of his plays that belonged to my Aunt Jane, and I guess I'll have
to tackle him as soon as I finish with the Bible.")</p>
<p>THE STORY OF AN ELOPEMENT FROM CHURCH</p>
<p>This is a true story. It happened in Markdale to an uncle of my mothers.
He wanted to marry Miss Jemima Parr. Felicity says Jemima is not a
romantic name for a heroin of a story but I cant help it in this case
because it is a true story and her name realy was Jemima. My mothers uncle
was named Thomas Taylor. He was poor at that time and so the father of
Miss Jemima Parr did not want him for a soninlaw and told him he was not
to come near the house or he would set the dog on him. Miss Jemima Parr
was very pretty and my mothers uncle Thomas was just crazy about her and
she wanted him too. She cried almost every night after her father forbid
him to come to the house except the nights she had to sleep or she would
have died. And she was so frightened he might try to come for all and get
tore up by the dog and it was a bull-dog too that would never let go. But
mothers uncle Thomas was too cute for that. He waited till one day there
was preaching in the Markdale church in the middle of the week because it
was sacrament time and Miss Jemima Parr and her family all went because
her father was an elder. My mothers uncle Thomas went too and set in the
pew just behind Miss Jemima Parrs family. When they all bowed their heads
at prayer time Miss Jemima Parr didnt but set bolt uprite and my mothers
uncle Thomas bent over and wispered in her ear. I dont know what he said
so I cant right it but Miss Jemima Parr blushed that is turned red and
nodded her head. Perhaps some people may think that my mothers uncle
Thomas shouldent of wispered at prayer time in church but you must
remember that Miss Jemima Parrs father had thretened to set the dog on him
and that was hard lines when he was a respektable young man though not
rich. Well when they were singing the last sam my mothers uncle Thomas got
up and went out very quitely and as soon as church was out Miss Jemima
Parr walked out too real quick. Her family never suspekted anything and
they hung round talking to folks and shaking hands while Miss Jemima Parr
and my mothers uncle Thomas were eloping outside. And what do you suppose
they eloped in. Why in Miss Jemima Parrs fathers slay. And when he went
out they were gone and his slay was gone also his horse. Of course my
mothers uncle Thomas didnt steal the horse. He just borroed it and sent it
home the next day. But before Miss Jemima Parrs father could get another
rig to follow them they were so far away he couldent catch them before
they got married. And they lived happy together forever afterwards.
Mothers uncle Thomas lived to be a very old man. He died very suddent. He
felt quite well when he went to sleep and when he woke up he was dead.</p>
<p>PETER CRAIG.<br/></p>
<p>MY MOST EXCITING ADVENTURE</p>
<p>The editor says we must all write up our most exciting adventure for Our
Magazine. My most exciting adventure happened a year ago last November. I
was nearly frightened to death. Dan says he wouldn't of been scared and
Felicity says she would of known what it was but it's easy to talk.</p>
<p>It happened the night I went down to see Kitty Marr. I thought when I went
that Aunt Olivia was visiting there and I could come home with her. But
she wasn't there and I had to come home alone. Kitty came a piece of the
way but she wouldn't come any further than Uncle James Frewen's gate. She
said it was because it was so windy she was afraid she would get the
tooth-ache and not because she was frightened of the ghost of the dog that
haunted the bridge in Uncle James' hollow. I did wish she hadn't said
anything about the dog because I mightn't of thought about it if she
hadn't. I had to go on alone thinking of it. I'd heard the story often but
I'd never believed in it. They said the dog used to appear at one end of
the bridge and walk across it with people and vanish when he got to the
other end. He never tried to bite anyone but one wouldn't want to meet the
ghost of a dog even if one didn't believe in him. I knew there was no such
thing as ghosts and I kept saying a paraphrase over to myself and the
Golden Text of the next Sunday School lesson but oh, how my heart beat
when I got near the hollow! It was so dark. You could just see things
dim-like but you couldn't see what they were. When I got to the bridge I
walked along sideways with my back to the railing so I couldn't think the
dog was behind me. And then just in the middle of the bridge I met
something. It was right before me and it was big and black, just about the
size of a Newfoundland dog, and I thought I could see a white nose. And it
kept jumping about from one side of the bridge to the other. Oh, I hope
none of my readers will ever be so frightened as I was then. I was too
frightened to run back because I was afraid it would chase me and I
couldn't get past it, it moved so quick, and then it just made one spring
right on me and I felt its claws and I screamed and fell down. It rolled
off to one side and laid there quite quiet but I didn't dare move and I
don't know what would have become of me if Amos Cowan hadn't come along
that very minute with a lantern. And there was me sitting in the middle of
the bridge and that awful thing beside me. And what do you think it was
but a big umbrella with a white handle? Amos said it was his umbrella and
it had blown away from him and he had to go back and get the lantern to
look for it. I felt like asking him what on earth he was going about with
an umbrella open when it wasent raining. But the Cowans do such queer
things. You remember the time Jerry Cowan sold us God's picture. Amos took
me right home and I was thankful for I don't know what would have become
of me if he hadn't come along. I couldn't sleep all night and I never want
to have any more adventures like that one.</p>
<p>CECILY KING.<br/></p>
<p>PERSONALS</p>
<p>Mr. Dan King felt somewhat indisposed the day after Christmas—probably
as the result of too much mince pie. (DAN, INDIGNANTLY:—"I wasn't. I
only et one piece!")</p>
<p>Mr. Peter Craig thinks he saw the Family Ghost on Christmas Eve. But the
rest of us think all he saw was the white calf with the red tail. (PETER,
MUTTERING SULKILY:—"It's a queer calf that would walk up on end and
wring its hands.")</p>
<p>Miss Cecily King spent the night of Dec. 20th with Miss Kitty Marr. They
talked most of the night about new knitted lace patterns and their beaus
and were very sleepy in school next day. (CECILY, SHARPLY:—"We never
mentioned such things!")</p>
<p>Patrick Grayfur, Esq., was indisposed yesterday, but seems to be enjoying
his usual health to-day.</p>
<p>The King family expect their Aunt Eliza to visit them in January. She is
really our great-aunt. We have never seen her but we are told she is very
deaf and does not like children. So Aunt Janet says we must make ourselves
scarece when she comes.</p>
<p>Miss Cecily King has undertaken to fill with names a square of the
missionary quilt which the Mission Band is making. You pay five cents to
have your name embroidered in a corner, ten cents to have it in the
centre, and a quarter if you want it left off altogether. (CECILY,
INDIGNANTLY:—"That isn't the way at all.")</p>
<p>ADS.</p>
<p>WANTED—A remedy to make a fat boy thin. Address, "Patient Sufferer,
care of Our Magazine."</p>
<p>(FELIX, SOURLY:—"Sara Ray never got that up. I'll bet it was Dan.
He'd better stick to his own department.")</p>
<p>HOUSEHOLD DEPARTMENT</p>
<p>Mrs. Alexander King killed all her geese the twentieth of December. We all
helped pick them. We had one Christmas Day and will have one every
fortnight the rest of the winter.</p>
<p>The bread was sour last week because mother wouldn't take my advice. I
told her it was too warm for it in the corner behind the stove.</p>
<p>Miss Felicity King invented a new recete for date cookies recently, which
everybody said were excelent. I am not going to publish it though, because
I don't want other people to find it out.</p>
<p>ANXIOUS INQUIRER:—If you want to remove inkstains place the stain
over steam and apply salt and lemon juice. If it was Dan who sent this
question in I'd advise him to stop wiping his pen on his shirt sleeves and
then he wouldn't have so many stains.</p>
<p>FELICITY KING.<br/></p>
<p>ETIQUETTE DEPARTMENT</p>
<p>F-l-x:—Yes, you should offer your arm to a lady when seeing her
home, but don't keep her standing too long at the gate while you say good
night.</p>
<p>(FELIX, ENRAGED:—"I never asked such a question.")</p>
<p>C-c-l-y:—No, it is not polite to use "Holy Moses" or "dodgasted" in
ordinary conversation.</p>
<p>(Cecily had gone down cellar to replenish the apple plate, so this passed
without protest.)</p>
<p>S-r-a:—No, it isn't polite to cry all the time. As to whether you
should ask a young man in, it all depends on whether he went home with you
of his own accord or was sent by some elderly relative.</p>
<p>F-l-t-y:—It does not break any rule of etiquette if you keep a
button off your best young man's coat for a keepsake. But don't take more
than one or his mother might miss them.</p>
<p>DAN KING.<br/></p>
<p>FASHION NOTES</p>
<p>Knitted mufflers are much more stylish than crocheted ones this winter. It
is nice to have one the same colour as your cap.</p>
<p>Red mittens with a black diamond pattern on the back are much run after.
Em Frewen's grandma knits hers for her. She can knit the double diamond
pattern and Em puts on such airs about it, but I think the single diamond
is in better taste.</p>
<p>The new winter hats at Markdale are very pretty. It is so exciting to pick
a hat. Boys can't have that fun. Their hats are so much alike.</p>
<p>CECILY KING.<br/></p>
<p>FUNNY PARAGRAPHS</p>
<p>This is a true joke and really happened.</p>
<p>There was an old local preacher in New Brunswick one time whose name was
Samuel Clask. He used to preach and pray and visit the sick just like a
regular minister. One day he was visiting a neighbour who was dying and he
prayed the Lord to have mercy on him because he was very poor and had
worked so hard all his life that he hadn't much time to attend to
religion.</p>
<p>"And if you don't believe me, O Lord," Mr. Clask finished up with, "just
take a look at his hands."</p>
<p>FELIX KING.<br/></p>
<p>GENERAL INFORMATION BUREAU</p>
<p>DAN:—Do porpoises grow on trees or vines?</p>
<p>Ans. Neither. They inhabit the deep sea.</p>
<p>FELIX KING.<br/></p>
<p>(DAN, AGGRIEVED:—"Well, I'd never heard of porpoises and it sounded
like something that grew. But you needn't have gone and put it in the
paper."</p>
<p>FELIX:—"It isn't any worse than the things you put in about me that
I never asked at all."</p>
<p>CECILY, SOOTHINGLY:—"Oh, well, boys, it's all in fun, and I think
Our Magazine is perfectly elegant."</p>
<p>FELICITY, FAILING TO SEE THE STORY GIRL AND BEVERLEY EXCHANGING WINKS
BEHIND HER BACK:—"It certainly is, though SOME PEOPLE were so
opposed to starting it.")</p>
<p>What harmless, happy fooling it all was! How we laughed as we read and
listened and devoured apples! Blow high, blow low, no wind can ever quench
the ruddy glow of that faraway winter night in our memories. And though
Our Magazine never made much of a stir in the world, or was the means of
hatching any genius, it continued to be capital fun for us throughout the
year.</p>
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