<p><SPAN name="c9" id="c9"></SPAN> </p>
<p> </p>
<h4>CHAPTER IX</h4>
<h3>Signs and Tokens<br/> </h3>
<p>I don't know how it is I seem to be always writing about myself. I
mean all the time to write about other people, and I try to think
about myself as little as possible, and I am sure, when I find myself
coming into the story again, I am really vexed and say, "Dear, dear,
you tiresome little creature, I wish you wouldn't!" but it is all of
no use. I hope any one who may read what I write will understand that
if these pages contain a great deal about me, I can only suppose it
must be because I have really something to do with them and can't be
kept out.</p>
<p>My darling and I read together, and worked, and practised, and found
so much employment for our time that the winter days flew by us like
bright-winged birds. Generally in the afternoons, and always in the
evenings, Richard gave us his company. Although he was one of the
most restless creatures in the world, he certainly was very fond of
our society.</p>
<p>He was very, very, very fond of Ada. I mean it, and I had better say
it at once. I had never seen any young people falling in love before,
but I found them out quite soon. I could not say so, of course, or
show that I knew anything about it. On the contrary, I was so demure
and used to seem so unconscious that sometimes I considered within
myself while I was sitting at work whether I was not growing quite
deceitful.</p>
<p>But there was no help for it. All I had to do was to be quiet, and I
was as quiet as a mouse. They were as quiet as mice too, so far as
any words were concerned, but the innocent manner in which they
relied more and more upon me as they took more and more to one
another was so charming that I had great difficulty in not showing
how it interested me.</p>
<p>"Our dear little old woman is such a capital old woman," Richard
would say, coming up to meet me in the garden early, with his
pleasant laugh and perhaps the least tinge of a blush, "that I can't
get on without her. Before I begin my harum-scarum day—grinding away
at those books and instruments and then galloping up hill and down
dale, all the country round, like a highwayman—it does me so much
good to come and have a steady walk with our comfortable friend, that
here I am again!"</p>
<p>"You know, Dame Durden, dear," Ada would say at night, with her head
upon my shoulder and the firelight shining in her thoughtful eyes, "I
don't want to talk when we come upstairs here. Only to sit a little
while thinking, with your dear face for company, and to hear the wind
and remember the poor sailors at
<span class="nowrap">sea—"</span></p>
<p>Ah! Perhaps Richard was going to be a sailor. We had talked it over
very often now, and there was some talk of gratifying the inclination
of his childhood for the sea. Mr. Jarndyce had written to a relation
of the family, a great Sir Leicester Dedlock, for his interest in
Richard's favour, generally; and Sir Leicester had replied in a
gracious manner that he would be happy to advance the prospects of
the young gentleman if it should ever prove to be within his power,
which was not at all probable, and that my Lady sent her compliments
to the young gentleman (to whom she perfectly remembered that she was
allied by remote consanguinity) and trusted that he would ever do his
duty in any honourable profession to which he might devote himself.</p>
<p>"So I apprehend it's pretty clear," said Richard to me, "that I shall
have to work my own way. Never mind! Plenty of people have had to do
that before now, and have done it. I only wish I had the command of a
clipping privateer to begin with and could carry off the Chancellor
and keep him on short allowance until he gave judgment in our cause.
He'd find himself growing thin, if he didn't look sharp!"</p>
<p>With a buoyancy and hopefulness and a gaiety that hardly ever
flagged, Richard had a carelessness in his character that quite
perplexed me, principally because he mistook it, in such a very odd
way, for prudence. It entered into all his calculations about money
in a singular manner which I don't think I can better explain than by
reverting for a moment to our loan to Mr. Skimpole.</p>
<p>Mr. Jarndyce had ascertained the amount, either from Mr. Skimpole
himself or from Coavinses, and had placed the money in my hands with
instructions to me to retain my own part of it and hand the rest to
Richard. The number of little acts of thoughtless expenditure which
Richard justified by the recovery of his ten pounds, and the number
of times he talked to me as if he had saved or realized that amount,
would form a sum in simple addition.</p>
<p>"My prudent Mother Hubbard, why not?" he said to me when he wanted,
without the least consideration, to bestow five pounds on the
brickmaker. "I made ten pounds, clear, out of Coavinses' business."</p>
<p>"How was that?" said I.</p>
<p>"Why, I got rid of ten pounds which I was quite content to get rid of
and never expected to see any more. You don't deny that?"</p>
<p>"No," said I.</p>
<p>"Very well! Then I came into possession of ten pounds—"</p>
<p>"The same ten pounds," I hinted.</p>
<p>"That has nothing to do with it!" returned Richard. "I have got ten
pounds more than I expected to have, and consequently I can afford to
spend it without being particular."</p>
<p>In exactly the same way, when he was persuaded out of the sacrifice
of these five pounds by being convinced that it would do no good, he
carried that sum to his credit and drew upon it.</p>
<p>"Let me see!" he would say. "I saved five pounds out of the
brickmaker's affair, so if I have a good rattle to London and back in
a post-chaise and put that down at four pounds, I shall have saved
one. And it's a very good thing to save one, let me tell you: a penny
saved is a penny got!"</p>
<p>I believe Richard's was as frank and generous a nature as there
possibly can be. He was ardent and brave, and in the midst of all his
wild restlessness, was so gentle that I knew him like a brother in a
few weeks. His gentleness was natural to him and would have shown
itself abundantly even without Ada's influence; but with it, he
became one of the most winning of companions, always so ready to be
interested and always so happy, sanguine, and light-hearted. I am
sure that I, sitting with them, and walking with them, and talking
with them, and noticing from day to day how they went on, falling
deeper and deeper in love, and saying nothing about it, and each
shyly thinking that this love was the greatest of secrets, perhaps
not yet suspected even by the other—I am sure that I was scarcely
less enchanted than they were and scarcely less pleased with the
pretty dream.</p>
<p>We were going on in this way, when one morning at breakfast Mr.
Jarndyce received a letter, and looking at the superscription, said,
"From Boythorn? Aye, aye!" and opened and read it with evident
pleasure, announcing to us in a parenthesis when he was about
half-way through, that Boythorn was "coming down" on a visit. Now who
was Boythorn, we all thought. And I dare say we all thought too—I am
sure I did, for one—would Boythorn at all interfere with what was
going forward?</p>
<p>"I went to school with this fellow, Lawrence Boythorn," said Mr.
Jarndyce, tapping the letter as he laid it on the table, "more than
five and forty years ago. He was then the most impetuous boy in the
world, and he is now the most impetuous man. He was then the loudest
boy in the world, and he is now the loudest man. He was then the
heartiest and sturdiest boy in the world, and he is now the heartiest
and sturdiest man. He is a tremendous fellow."</p>
<p>"In stature, sir?" asked Richard.</p>
<p>"Pretty well, Rick, in that respect," said Mr. Jarndyce; "being some
ten years older than I and a couple of inches taller, with his head
thrown back like an old soldier, his stalwart chest squared, his
hands like a clean blacksmith's, and his lungs! There's no simile for
his lungs. Talking, laughing, or snoring, they make the beams of the
house shake."</p>
<p>As Mr. Jarndyce sat enjoying the image of his friend Boythorn, we
observed the favourable omen that there was not the least indication
of any change in the wind.</p>
<p>"But it's the inside of the man, the warm heart of the man, the
passion of the man, the fresh blood of the man, Rick—and Ada, and
little Cobweb too, for you are all interested in a visitor—that I
speak of," he pursued. "His language is as sounding as his voice. He
is always in extremes, perpetually in the superlative degree. In his
condemnation he is all ferocity. You might suppose him to be an ogre
from what he says, and I believe he has the reputation of one with
some people. There! I tell you no more of him beforehand. You must
not be surprised to see him take me under his protection, for he has
never forgotten that I was a low boy at school and that our
friendship began in his knocking two of my head tyrant's teeth out
(he says six) before breakfast. Boythorn and his man," to me, "will
be here this afternoon, my dear."</p>
<p>I took care that the necessary preparations were made for Mr.
Boythorn's reception, and we looked forward to his arrival with some
curiosity. The afternoon wore away, however, and he did not appear.
The dinner-hour arrived, and still he did not appear. The dinner was
put back an hour, and we were sitting round the fire with no light
but the blaze when the hall-door suddenly burst open and the hall
resounded with these words, uttered with the greatest vehemence and
in a stentorian tone: "We have been misdirected, Jarndyce, by a most
abandoned ruffian, who told us to take the turning to the right
instead of to the left. He is the most intolerable scoundrel on the
face of the earth. His father must have been a most consummate
villain, ever to have such a son. I would have had that fellow shot
without the least remorse!"</p>
<p>"Did he do it on purpose?" Mr. Jarndyce inquired.</p>
<p>"I have not the slightest doubt that the scoundrel has passed his
whole existence in misdirecting travellers!" returned the other. "By
my soul, I thought him the worst-looking dog I had ever beheld when
he was telling me to take the turning to the right. And yet I stood
before that fellow face to face and didn't knock his brains out!"</p>
<p>"Teeth, you mean?" said Mr. Jarndyce.</p>
<p>"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr. Lawrence Boythorn, really making the whole
house vibrate. "What, you have not forgotten it yet! Ha, ha, ha! And
that was another most consummate vagabond! By my soul, the
countenance of that fellow when he was a boy was the blackest image
of perfidy, cowardice, and cruelty ever set up as a scarecrow in a
field of scoundrels. If I were to meet that most unparalleled despot
in the streets to-morrow, I would fell him like a rotten tree!"</p>
<p>"I have no doubt of it," said Mr. Jarndyce. "Now, will you come
upstairs?"</p>
<p>"By my soul, Jarndyce," returned his guest, who seemed to refer to
his watch, "if you had been married, I would have turned back at the
garden-gate and gone away to the remotest summits of the Himalaya
Mountains sooner than I would have presented myself at this
unseasonable hour."</p>
<p>"Not quite so far, I hope?" said Mr. Jarndyce.</p>
<p>"By my life and honour, yes!" cried the visitor. "I wouldn't be
guilty of the audacious insolence of keeping a lady of the house
waiting all this time for any earthly consideration. I would
infinitely rather destroy myself—infinitely rather!"</p>
<p>Talking thus, they went upstairs, and presently we heard him in his
bedroom thundering "Ha, ha, ha!" and again "Ha, ha, ha!" until the
flattest echo in the neighbourhood seemed to catch the contagion and
to laugh as enjoyingly as he did or as we did when we heard him
laugh.</p>
<p>We all conceived a prepossession in his favour, for there was a
sterling quality in this laugh, and in his vigorous, healthy voice,
and in the roundness and fullness with which he uttered every word he
spoke, and in the very fury of his superlatives, which seemed to go
off like blank cannons and hurt nothing. But we were hardly prepared
to have it so confirmed by his appearance when Mr. Jarndyce presented
him. He was not only a very handsome old gentleman—upright and
stalwart as he had been described to us—with a massive grey head, a
fine composure of face when silent, a figure that might have become
corpulent but for his being so continually in earnest that he gave it
no rest, and a chin that might have subsided into a double chin but
for the vehement emphasis in which it was constantly required to
assist; but he was such a true gentleman in his manner, so
chivalrously polite, his face was lighted by a smile of so much
sweetness and tenderness, and it seemed so plain that he had nothing
to hide, but showed himself exactly as he was—incapable, as Richard
said, of anything on a limited scale, and firing away with those
blank great guns because he carried no small arms whatever—that
really I could not help looking at him with equal pleasure as he sat
at dinner, whether he smilingly conversed with Ada and me, or was led
by Mr. Jarndyce into some great volley of superlatives, or threw up
his head like a bloodhound and gave out that tremendous "Ha, ha, ha!"</p>
<p>"You have brought your bird with you, I suppose?" said Mr. Jarndyce.</p>
<p>"By heaven, he is the most astonishing bird in Europe!" replied the
other. "He IS the most wonderful creature! I wouldn't take ten
thousand guineas for that bird. I have left an annuity for his sole
support in case he should outlive me. He is, in sense and attachment,
a phenomenon. And his father before him was one of the most
astonishing birds that ever lived!"</p>
<p>The subject of this laudation was a very little canary, who was so
tame that he was brought down by Mr. Boythorn's man, on his
forefinger, and after taking a gentle flight round the room, alighted
on his master's head. To hear Mr. Boythorn presently expressing the
most implacable and passionate sentiments, with this fragile mite of
a creature quietly perched on his forehead, was to have a good
illustration of his character, I thought.</p>
<p>"By my soul, Jarndyce," he said, very gently holding up a bit of
bread to the canary to peck at, "if I were in your place I would
seize every master in Chancery by the throat to-morrow morning and
shake him until his money rolled out of his pockets and his bones
rattled in his skin. I would have a settlement out of somebody, by
fair means or by foul. If you would empower me to do it, I would do
it for you with the greatest satisfaction!" (All this time the very
small canary was eating out of his hand.)</p>
<p>"I thank you, Lawrence, but the suit is hardly at such a point at
present," returned Mr. Jarndyce, laughing, "that it would be greatly
advanced even by the legal process of shaking the bench and the whole
bar."</p>
<p>"There never was such an infernal cauldron as that Chancery on the
face of the earth!" said Mr. Boythorn. "Nothing but a mine below it
on a busy day in term time, with all its records, rules, and
precedents collected in it and every functionary belonging to it
also, high and low, upward and downward, from its son the
Accountant-General to its father the Devil, and the whole blown to
atoms with ten thousand hundredweight of gunpowder, would reform it
in the least!"</p>
<p>It was impossible not to laugh at the energetic gravity with which he
recommended this strong measure of reform. When we laughed, he threw
up his head and shook his broad chest, and again the whole country
seemed to echo to his "Ha, ha, ha!" It had not the least effect in
disturbing the bird, whose sense of security was complete and who
hopped about the table with its quick head now on this side and now
on that, turning its bright sudden eye on its master as if he were no
more than another bird.</p>
<p>"But how do you and your neighbour get on about the disputed right of
way?" said Mr. Jarndyce. "You are not free from the toils of the law
yourself!"</p>
<p>"The fellow has brought actions against ME for trespass, and I have
brought actions against HIM for trespass," returned Mr. Boythorn. "By
heaven, he is the proudest fellow breathing. It is morally impossible
that his name can be Sir Leicester. It must be Sir Lucifer."</p>
<p>"Complimentary to our distant relation!" said my guardian laughingly
to Ada and Richard.</p>
<p>"I would beg Miss Clare's pardon and Mr. Carstone's pardon," resumed
our visitor, "if I were not reassured by seeing in the fair face of
the lady and the smile of the gentleman that it is quite unnecessary
and that they keep their distant relation at a comfortable distance."</p>
<p>"Or he keeps us," suggested Richard.</p>
<p>"By my soul," exclaimed Mr. Boythorn, suddenly firing another volley,
"that fellow is, and his father was, and his grandfather was, the
most stiff-necked, arrogant imbecile, pig-headed numskull, ever, by
some inexplicable mistake of Nature, born in any station of life but
a walking-stick's! The whole of that family are the most solemnly
conceited and consummate blockheads! But it's no matter; he should
not shut up my path if he were fifty baronets melted into one and
living in a hundred Chesney Wolds, one within another, like the ivory
balls in a Chinese carving. The fellow, by his agent, or secretary,
or somebody, writes to me 'Sir Leicester Dedlock, Baronet, presents
his compliments to Mr. Lawrence Boythorn, and has to call his
attention to the fact that the green pathway by the old
parsonage-house, now the property of Mr. Lawrence Boythorn, is Sir
Leicester's right of way, being in fact a portion of the park of
Chesney Wold, and that Sir Leicester finds it convenient to close up
the same.' I write to the fellow, 'Mr. Lawrence Boythorn presents his
compliments to Sir Leicester Dedlock, Baronet, and has to call HIS
attention to the fact that he totally denies the whole of Sir
Leicester Dedlock's positions on every possible subject and has to
add, in reference to closing up the pathway, that he will be glad to
see the man who may undertake to do it.' The fellow sends a most
abandoned villain with one eye to construct a gateway. I play upon
that execrable scoundrel with a fire-engine until the breath is
nearly driven out of his body. The fellow erects a gate in the night.
I chop it down and burn it in the morning. He sends his myrmidons to
come over the fence and pass and repass. I catch them in humane man
traps, fire split peas at their legs, play upon them with the
engine—resolve to free mankind from the insupportable burden of the
existence of those lurking ruffians. He brings actions for trespass;
I bring actions for trespass. He brings actions for assault and
battery; I defend them and continue to assault and batter. Ha, ha,
ha!"</p>
<p>To hear him say all this with unimaginable energy, one might have
thought him the angriest of mankind. To see him at the very same
time, looking at the bird now perched upon his thumb and softly
smoothing its feathers with his forefinger, one might have thought
him the gentlest. To hear him laugh and see the broad good nature of
his face then, one might have supposed that he had not a care in the
world, or a dispute, or a dislike, but that his whole existence was a
summer joke.</p>
<p>"No, no," he said, "no closing up of my paths by any Dedlock! Though
I willingly confess," here he softened in a moment, "that Lady
Dedlock is the most accomplished lady in the world, to whom I would
do any homage that a plain gentleman, and no baronet with a head
seven hundred years thick, may. A man who joined his regiment at
twenty and within a week challenged the most imperious and
presumptuous coxcomb of a commanding officer that ever drew the
breath of life through a tight waist—and got broke for it—is not
the man to be walked over by all the Sir Lucifers, dead or alive,
locked or unlocked. Ha, ha, ha!"</p>
<p>"Nor the man to allow his junior to be walked over either?" said my
guardian.</p>
<p>"Most assuredly not!" said Mr. Boythorn, clapping him on the shoulder
with an air of protection that had something serious in it, though he
laughed. "He will stand by the low boy, always. Jarndyce, you may
rely upon him! But speaking of this trespass—with apologies to Miss
Clare and Miss Summerson for the length at which I have pursued so
dry a subject—is there nothing for me from your men Kenge and
Carboy?"</p>
<p>"I think not, Esther?" said Mr. Jarndyce.</p>
<p>"Nothing, guardian."</p>
<p>"Much obliged!" said Mr. Boythorn. "Had no need to ask, after even my
slight experience of Miss Summerson's forethought for every one about
her." (They all encouraged me; they were determined to do it.) "I
inquired because, coming from Lincolnshire, I of course have not yet
been in town, and I thought some letters might have been sent down
here. I dare say they will report progress to-morrow morning."</p>
<p>I saw him so often in the course of the evening, which passed very
pleasantly, contemplate Richard and Ada with an interest and a
satisfaction that made his fine face remarkably agreeable as he sat
at a little distance from the piano listening to the music—and he
had small occasion to tell us that he was passionately fond of music,
for his face showed it—that I asked my guardian as we sat at the
backgammon board whether Mr. Boythorn had ever been married.</p>
<p>"No," said he. "No."</p>
<p>"But he meant to be!" said I.</p>
<p>"How did you find out that?" he returned with a smile. "Why,
guardian," I explained, not without reddening a little at hazarding
what was in my thoughts, "there is something so tender in his manner,
after all, and he is so very courtly and gentle to us,
<span class="nowrap">and—"</span></p>
<p>Mr. Jarndyce directed his eyes to where he was sitting as I have just
described him.</p>
<p>I said no more.</p>
<p>"You are right, little woman," he answered. "He was all but married
once. Long ago. And once."</p>
<p>"Did the lady die?"</p>
<p>"No—but she died to him. That time has had its influence on all his
later life. Would you suppose him to have a head and a heart full of
romance yet?"</p>
<p>"I think, guardian, I might have supposed so. But it is easy to say
that when you have told me so."</p>
<p>"He has never since been what he might have been," said Mr. Jarndyce,
"and now you see him in his age with no one near him but his servant
and his little yellow friend. It's your throw, my dear!"</p>
<p>I felt, from my guardian's manner, that beyond this point I could not
pursue the subject without changing the wind. I therefore forbore to
ask any further questions. I was interested, but not curious. I
thought a little while about this old love story in the night, when I
was awakened by Mr. Boythorn's lusty snoring; and I tried to do that
very difficult thing, imagine old people young again and invested
with the graces of youth. But I fell asleep before I had succeeded,
and dreamed of the days when I lived in my godmother's house. I am
not sufficiently acquainted with such subjects to know whether it is
at all remarkable that I almost always dreamed of that period of my
life.</p>
<p>With the morning there came a letter from Messrs. Kenge and Carboy to
Mr. Boythorn informing him that one of their clerks would wait upon
him at noon. As it was the day of the week on which I paid the bills,
and added up my books, and made all the household affairs as compact
as possible, I remained at home while Mr. Jarndyce, Ada, and Richard
took advantage of a very fine day to make a little excursion, Mr.
Boythorn was to wait for Kenge and Carboy's clerk and then was to go
on foot to meet them on their return.</p>
<p>Well! I was full of business, examining tradesmen's books, adding up
columns, paying money, filing receipts, and I dare say making a great
bustle about it when Mr. Guppy was announced and shown in. I had had
some idea that the clerk who was to be sent down might be the young
gentleman who had met me at the coach-office, and I was glad to see
him, because he was associated with my present happiness.</p>
<p>I scarcely knew him again, he was so uncommonly smart. He had an
entirely new suit of glossy clothes on, a shining hat, lilac-kid
gloves, a neckerchief of a variety of colours, a large hot-house
flower in his button-hole, and a thick gold ring on his little
finger. Besides which, he quite scented the dining-room with
bear's-grease and other perfumery. He looked at me with an attention
that quite confused me when I begged him to take a seat until the
servant should return; and as he sat there crossing and uncrossing
his legs in a corner, and I asked him if he had had a pleasant ride,
and hoped that Mr. Kenge was well, I never looked at him, but I found
him looking at me in the same scrutinizing and curious way.</p>
<p>When the request was brought to him that he would go upstairs to Mr.
Boythorn's room, I mentioned that he would find lunch prepared for
him when he came down, of which Mr. Jarndyce hoped he would partake.
He said with some embarrassment, holding the handle of the door,
"Shall I have the honour of finding you here, miss?" I replied yes, I
should be there; and he went out with a bow and another look.</p>
<p>I thought him only awkward and shy, for he was evidently much
embarrassed; and I fancied that the best thing I could do would be to
wait until I saw that he had everything he wanted and then to leave
him to himself. The lunch was soon brought, but it remained for some
time on the table. The interview with Mr. Boythorn was a long one,
and a stormy one too, I should think, for although his room was at
some distance I heard his loud voice rising every now and then like a
high wind, and evidently blowing perfect broadsides of denunciation.</p>
<p>At last Mr. Guppy came back, looking something the worse for the
conference. "My eye, miss," he said in a low voice, "he's a Tartar!"</p>
<p>"Pray take some refreshment, sir," said I.</p>
<p>Mr. Guppy sat down at the table and began nervously sharpening the
carving-knife on the carving-fork, still looking at me (as I felt
quite sure without looking at him) in the same unusual manner. The
sharpening lasted so long that at last I felt a kind of obligation on
me to raise my eyes in order that I might break the spell under which
he seemed to labour, of not being able to leave off.</p>
<p>He immediately looked at the dish and began to carve.</p>
<p>"What will you take yourself, miss? You'll take a morsel of
something?"</p>
<p>"No, thank you," said I.</p>
<p>"Shan't I give you a piece of anything at all, miss?" said Mr. Guppy,
hurriedly drinking off a glass of wine.</p>
<p>"Nothing, thank you," said I. "I have only waited to see that you
have everything you want. Is there anything I can order for you?"</p>
<p>"No, I am much obliged to you, miss, I'm sure. I've everything that I
can require to make me comfortable—at least I—not comfortable—I'm
never that." He drank off two more glasses of wine, one after
another.</p>
<p>I thought I had better go.</p>
<p>"I beg your pardon, miss!" said Mr. Guppy, rising when he saw me
rise. "But would you allow me the favour of a minute's private
conversation?"</p>
<p>Not knowing what to say, I sat down again.</p>
<p>"What follows is without prejudice, miss?" said Mr. Guppy, anxiously
bringing a chair towards my table.</p>
<p>"I don't understand what you mean," said I, wondering.</p>
<p>"It's one of our law terms, miss. You won't make any use of it to my
detriment at Kenge and Carboy's or elsewhere. If our conversation
shouldn't lead to anything, I am to be as I was and am not to be
prejudiced in my situation or worldly prospects. In short, it's in
total confidence."</p>
<p>"I am at a loss, sir," said I, "to imagine what you can have to
communicate in total confidence to me, whom you have never seen but
once; but I should be very sorry to do you any injury."</p>
<p>"Thank you, miss. I'm sure of it—that's quite sufficient." All this
time Mr. Guppy was either planing his forehead with his handkerchief
or tightly rubbing the palm of his left hand with the palm of his
right. "If you would excuse my taking another glass of wine, miss, I
think it might assist me in getting on without a continual choke that
cannot fail to be mutually unpleasant."</p>
<p>He did so, and came back again. I took the opportunity of moving well
behind my table.</p>
<p>"You wouldn't allow me to offer you one, would you miss?" said Mr.
Guppy, apparently refreshed.</p>
<p>"Not any," said I.</p>
<p>"Not half a glass?" said Mr. Guppy. "Quarter? No! Then, to proceed.
My present salary, Miss Summerson, at Kenge and Carboy's, is two
pound a week. When I first had the happiness of looking upon you, it
was one fifteen, and had stood at that figure for a lengthened
period. A rise of five has since taken place, and a further rise of
five is guaranteed at the expiration of a term not exceeding twelve
months from the present date. My mother has a little property, which
takes the form of a small life annuity, upon which she lives in an
independent though unassuming manner in the Old Street Road. She is
eminently calculated for a mother-in-law. She never interferes, is
all for peace, and her disposition easy. She has her failings—as who
has not?—but I never knew her do it when company was present, at
which time you may freely trust her with wines, spirits, or malt
liquors. My own abode is lodgings at Penton Place, Pentonville. It is
lowly, but airy, open at the back, and considered one of the
'ealthiest outlets. Miss Summerson! In the mildest language, I adore
you. Would you be so kind as to allow me (as I may say) to file a
declaration—to make an offer!"</p>
<p>Mr. Guppy went down on his knees. I was well behind my table and not
much frightened. I said, "Get up from that ridiculous position
immediately, sir, or you will oblige me to break my implied promise
and ring the bell!"</p>
<p>"Hear me out, miss!" said Mr. Guppy, folding his hands.</p>
<p>"I cannot consent to hear another word, sir," I returned, "Unless you
get up from the carpet directly and go and sit down at the table as
you ought to do if you have any sense at all."</p>
<p>He looked piteously, but slowly rose and did so.</p>
<p>"Yet what a mockery it is, miss," he said with his hand upon his
heart and shaking his head at me in a melancholy manner over the
tray, "to be stationed behind food at such a moment. The soul recoils
from food at such a moment, miss."</p>
<p>"I beg you to conclude," said I; "you have asked me to hear you out,
and I beg you to conclude."</p>
<p>"I will, miss," said Mr. Guppy. "As I love and honour, so likewise I
obey. Would that I could make thee the subject of that vow before the
shrine!"</p>
<p>"That is quite impossible," said I, "and entirely out of the
question."</p>
<p>"I am aware," said Mr. Guppy, leaning forward over the tray and
regarding me, as I again strangely felt, though my eyes were not
directed to him, with his late intent look, "I am aware that in a
worldly point of view, according to all appearances, my offer is a
poor one. But, Miss Summerson! Angel! No, don't ring—I have been
brought up in a sharp school and am accustomed to a variety of
general practice. Though a young man, I have ferreted out evidence,
got up cases, and seen lots of life. Blest with your hand, what means
might I not find of advancing your interests and pushing your
fortunes! What might I not get to know, nearly concerning you? I know
nothing now, certainly; but what MIGHT I not if I had your
confidence, and you set me on?"</p>
<p>I told him that he addressed my interest or what he supposed to be my
interest quite as unsuccessfully as he addressed my inclination, and
he would now understand that I requested him, if he pleased, to go
away immediately.</p>
<p>"Cruel miss," said Mr. Guppy, "hear but another word! I think you
must have seen that I was struck with those charms on the day when I
waited at the Whytorseller. I think you must have remarked that I
could not forbear a tribute to those charms when I put up the steps
of the 'ackney-coach. It was a feeble tribute to thee, but it was
well meant. Thy image has ever since been fixed in my breast. I have
walked up and down of an evening opposite Jellyby's house only to
look upon the bricks that once contained thee. This out of to-day,
quite an unnecessary out so far as the attendance, which was its
pretended object, went, was planned by me alone for thee alone. If I
speak of interest, it is only to recommend myself and my respectful
wretchedness. Love was before it, and is before it."</p>
<p>"I should be pained, Mr. Guppy," said I, rising and putting my hand
upon the bell-rope, "to do you or any one who was sincere the
injustice of slighting any honest feeling, however disagreeably
expressed. If you have really meant to give me a proof of your good
opinion, though ill-timed and misplaced, I feel that I ought to thank
you. I have very little reason to be proud, and I am not proud. I
hope," I think I added, without very well knowing what I said, "that
you will now go away as if you had never been so exceedingly foolish
and attend to Messrs. Kenge and Carboy's business."</p>
<p>"Half a minute, miss!" cried Mr. Guppy, checking me as I was about to
ring. "This has been without prejudice?"</p>
<p>"I will never mention it," said I, "unless you should give me future
occasion to do so."</p>
<p>"A quarter of a minute, miss! In case you should think better at any
time, however distant—THAT'S no consequence, for my feelings can
never alter—of anything I have said, particularly what might I not
do, Mr. William Guppy, eighty-seven, Penton Place, or if removed, or
dead (of blighted hopes or anything of that sort), care of Mrs.
Guppy, three hundred and two, Old Street Road, will be sufficient."</p>
<p>I rang the bell, the servant came, and Mr. Guppy, laying his written
card upon the table and making a dejected bow, departed. Raising my
eyes as he went out, I once more saw him looking at me after he had
passed the door.</p>
<p>I sat there for another hour or more, finishing my books and payments
and getting through plenty of business. Then I arranged my desk, and
put everything away, and was so composed and cheerful that I thought
I had quite dismissed this unexpected incident. But, when I went
upstairs to my own room, I surprised myself by beginning to laugh
about it and then surprised myself still more by beginning to cry
about it. In short, I was in a flutter for a little while and felt as
if an old chord had been more coarsely touched than it ever had been
since the days of the dear old doll, long buried in the garden.</p>
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