Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 06

<h2>COMIC MISERIES</h2> <h3>BY JOHN G. SAXE</h3> <h3>I</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">My dear young friend, whose shining wit<br/></span> <span class="i2">Sets all the room ablaze,<br/></span> <span class="i0">Don't think yourself "a happy dog,"<br/></span> <span class="i2">For all your merry ways;<br/></span> <span class="i0">But learn to wear a sober phiz,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Be stupid, if you can,<br/></span> <span class="i0">It's such a very serious thing<br/></span> <span class="i2">To be a funny man!<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>II</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">You're at an evening party, with<br/></span> <span class="i2">A group of pleasant folks,&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i0">You venture quietly to crack<br/></span> <span class="i2">The least of little jokes:<br/></span> <span class="i0">A lady doesn't catch the point,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And begs you to explain,&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i0">Alas for one who drops a jest<br/></span> <span class="i2">And takes it up again!<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>III</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">You're taking deep philosophy<br/></span> <span class="i2">With very special force,<br/></span> <span class="i0">To edify a clergyman<br/></span> <span class="i2">With suitable discourse:</span><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_1122" id="Page_1122"></SPAN></span><br/> <span class="i0">You think you've got him,&mdash;when he calls<br/></span> <span class="i2">A friend across the way,<br/></span> <span class="i0">And begs you'll say that funny thing<br/></span> <span class="i2">You said the other day!<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>IV</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">You drop a pretty <i>jeu-de-mot</i><br/></span> <span class="i2">Into a neighbor's ears,<br/></span> <span class="i0">Who likes to give you credit for<br/></span> <span class="i2">The clever thing he hears,<br/></span> <span class="i0">And so he hawks your jest about,<br/></span> <span class="i2">The old, authentic one,<br/></span> <span class="i0">Just breaking off the point of it,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And leaving out the pun!<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>V</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">By sudden change in politics,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Or sadder change in Polly,<br/></span> <span class="i0">You lose your love, or loaves, and fall<br/></span> <span class="i2">A prey to melancholy,<br/></span> <span class="i0">While everybody marvels why<br/></span> <span class="i2">Your mirth is under ban,<br/></span> <span class="i0">They think your very grief "a joke,"<br/></span> <span class="i2">You're such a funny man!<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>VI</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">You follow up a stylish card<br/></span> <span class="i2">That bids you come and dine,<br/></span> <span class="i0">And bring along your freshest wit<br/></span> <span class="i2">(To pay for musty wine);</span><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_1123" id="Page_1123"></SPAN></span><br/> <span class="i0">You're looking very dismal, when<br/></span> <span class="i2">My lady bounces in,<br/></span> <span class="i0">And wonders what you're thinking of,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And why you don't begin!<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>VII</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">You're telling to a knot of friends<br/></span> <span class="i2">A fancy-tale of woes<br/></span> <span class="i0">That cloud your matrimonial sky,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And banish all repose,&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i0">A solemn lady overhears<br/></span> <span class="i2">The story of your strife,<br/></span> <span class="i0">And tells the town the pleasant news:&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i2">You quarrel with your wife!<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>VIII</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">My dear young friend, whose shining wit<br/></span> <span class="i2">Sets all the room ablaze,<br/></span> <span class="i0">Don't think yourself "a happy dog,"<br/></span> <span class="i2">For all your merry ways;<br/></span> <span class="i0">But learn to wear a sober phiz,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Be stupid, if you can,<br/></span> <span class="i0">It's such a very serious thing<br/></span> <span class="i2">To be a funny man!<br/></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_1124" id="Page_1124"></SPAN></span></div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />