<h2><SPAN name="XII"></SPAN>XII</h2>
<br/>
<p>There was no question about it. Life was supplying Kate
Barrington with a valuable amount of "data." On every hand the
emergent or the reactionary woman offered herself for observation,
although to say that Kate was able to take a detached and objective
view of it would be going altogether too far. The truth was, she
threw herself into every friend's trouble, and she counted as
friends all who turned to her, or all whom she was called upon to
serve.</p>
<p>A fortnight after Mama's marriage, an interesting episode came
Kate's way. Mrs. Barsaloux had introduced to the Caravansary a Mrs.
Leger whom she had once met on the steamer on her way to Brindisi,
and she had invited her to join her during a stay in Chicago. Mrs.
Barsaloux, however, having gone off to France in a hot fit of
indignation, Mrs. Leger presented herself with a letter from Mrs.
Barsaloux to Mrs. Dennison. That hospitable woman consented to take
in the somewhat enigmatic stranger.</p>
<p>That she was enigmatic all were quick to perceive. She was
beautiful, with a delicate, high-bred grace, and she had the manner
of a woman who had been courted and flattered. As consciously
beautiful as Mary Morrison, she bore herself with more discretion.
Taste governed all that she said and did. Her gowns, her jewels,
her speech were distinguished. She seemed by all tokens an
accomplished worldling; yet it was not long before Kate discovered
that it was anything but worldly matters which were consuming her
attention.</p>
<p>She had come to Chicago for the purpose of adjusting her
fortune,--a large one, it appeared,--and of concluding her
relations with the world. She had decided to go into a convent, and
had chosen one of those numerous sisterhoods which pass their
devotional days upon the bright hill-slopes without Naples. She
refrained from designating the particular sisterhood, and she
permitted no discussion of her motives. She only said that she had
not been born a Catholic, but had turned to Mother Church when the
other details of life ceased to interest her. She was a widow, but
she seemed to regard her estate with quiet regret merely. If
tragedy had entered her life, it must have been subsequent to
widowhood. She had a son, but it appeared that he had no great need
of her. He was in the care of his paternal grandparents, who were
giving him an education. He was soon to enter Oxford, and she felt
confident that his life would be happy. She was leaving him an
abundance; she had halved her fortune and was giving her share to
the convent.</p>
<p>If she had not been so exquisite, so skilled in the nuances of
life, so swift and elusive in conversation, so well fitted for the
finest forms of enjoyment, her renunciation of liberty would not
have proved so exasperating to Kate. A youthful enthusiasm for
religion might have made her step understandable. But enthusiasm
and she seemed far apart. Intelligent as she unquestionably was,
she nevertheless seemed to have given herself over supinely to a
current of emotions which was sweeping her along. She looked both
pious and piteous, for all of her sophisticated manner and her
accomplishments and graces, and Kate felt like throwing a rope to
her. But Mrs. Leger was not in a mood to seize the rope. She had
her curiously gentle mind quite made up. Though she was still
young,--not quite eighteen years older than her son,--she appeared
to have no further concern for life. To the last, she was indulging
in her delicate vanities--wore her pearls, walked in charming
foot-gear, trailed after her the fascinating gowns of the initiate,
and viewed with delight the portfolios of etchings which Dr. von
Shierbrand chanced to be purchasing.</p>
<p>She was glad, she said, to be at the Caravansary, quite on a
different side of the city from her friends. She made no attempt to
renew old acquaintances or to say farewell to her former
associates. Her extravagant home on the Lake Shore Drive was passed
over to a self-congratulatory purchaser; the furnishings were sold
at auction; and her other properties were disposed of in such a
manner as to make the transfer of her wealth convenient for the
recipients.</p>
<p>She asked Kate to go to the station with her.</p>
<p>"I've given you my one last friendship," she said. "I shall
speak with no one on the steamer. My journey must be spent in
preparation for my great change. But it seems human and warm to
have you see me off."</p>
<p>"It seems inhuman to me, Mrs. Leger," Kate cried explosively.
"Something terrible has happened to you, I suppose, and you're
hiding away from it. You think you're going to drug yourself with
prayer. But can you? It doesn't seem at all probable to me. Dear
Mrs. Leger, be brave and stay out in the world with the other
living people."</p>
<p>"You are talking of something which you do not understand," said
Mrs. Leger gently. "There is a secret manna for the soul of which
the chosen may eat."</p>
<p>"Oh!" cried Kate, almost angrily. "Are these your own words? I
cannot understand a prepossession like this on your part. It
doesn't seem to set well on you. Isn't there some hideous mistake?
Aren't you under the influence of some emotional episode? Might it
not be that you were ill without realizing it? Perhaps you are
suffering from some hidden melancholy, and it is impelling you to
do something out of keeping with the time and with your own
disposition."</p>
<p>"I can see how it might appear that way to you, Miss Barrington.
But I am not ill, except in my soul, which I expect to be healed in
the place to which I am going. Try to understand that among the
many kinds of human beings in this world there are the mystics.
They have a right to their being and to their belief. Their joys
and sorrows are different from those of others, but they are just
as existent. Please do not worry about me."</p>
<p>"But you understand so well how to handle the material things in
the world," protested Kate. "You seem so appreciative and so
competent. If you have learned so much, what is the sense of
shutting it all up in a cell?"</p>
<p>"Did you never read of Purun Bhagat," asked Mrs. Leger
smilingly, "who was rich with the riches of a king; who was wise
with the learning of Calcutta and of Oxford; who could have held as
high an office as any that the Government of England could have
given him in India, and who took his beggar's bowl and sat upon a
cavern's rim and contemplated the secret soul of things? You know
your Kipling. I have not such riches or such wisdom, but I have the
longing upon me to go into silence."</p>
<p>The lips from which these words fell were both tender and
ardent; the little gesticulating hands were clad in modish,
mouse-colored suede; orris root mixed with some faint, haunting
odor, barely caressed the air with perfume. Kate looked at her
companion in despair.</p>
<p>"I must be an outer barbarian!" she cried. "I can imagine
religious ecstasy, but you are not ecstatic. I can imagine turning
to a convent as a place of hiding from shame or despair. But you
are not going into it that way. As for wishing to worship, I
understand that perfectly. Prayer is a sort of instinct with me,
and all the reasoning in the world couldn't make me cast myself out
of communion with the unknown something roundabout me that seems to
answer me. But what you are doing seems, as I said, so
obsolete."</p>
<p>"I am looking forward to it," said Mrs. Leger, "as eagerly as a
girl looks forward to her marriage. It is a beautiful romance to
me. It is the completely beautiful thing that is going to make up
to me for all the ugliness I have encountered in life."</p>
<p>For the first time a look of passion disturbed the serenity of
the high-bred, conventional face.</p>
<p>Kate threw out her hands with a repudiating gesture.</p>
<p>"Well," she said, "in the midst of my freedom I shall think of
you often and wonder if you have found something that I have
missed. You are leaving the world, and books, and friends, and your
son for some pale white idea. It seems to me you are going to the
embrace of a wraith."</p>
<p>Mrs. Leger smiled slowly, and it was as if a lamp showed for a
moment in a darkened house and then mysteriously vanished.</p>
<p>"Believe me," she reiterated, "you do not understand."</p>
<p>Kate helped her on the train, and left her surrounded by her
fashionable bags, her flowers, fruit, and literature. She took
these things as a matter of course. She had looked at her smart
little boots as she adjusted them on a hassock and had smiled at
Kate almost teasingly.</p>
<p>"In a month," she said, "I shall be walking with bared feet, or,
if the weather demands, in sandals. I shall wear a rope about my
waist over my brown robe. My hair will be cut, my head coiffed.
When you are thinking of me, think of me as I really shall be."</p>
<p>"So many things are going to happen that you will not see!"
cried Kate. "Why, maybe in a little while we shall all be going up
in flying-machines! You wouldn't like to miss that, would you? Or
your son will be growing into a fine man and you'll not see
him--nor the woman he marries--nor his children." She stopped,
breathing hard.</p>
<p>"It is like the sound of the surf on a distant shore," smiled
Mrs. Leger. "Good-bye, Miss Barrington. Don't grieve about me. I
shall be happier than you can know or dream."</p>
<p>The conductor swung Kate off the train after it was in
motion.</p>
<hr style="width: 25%;">
<p>So, among other things, she had that to think of. She could
explain it all merely upon the hypothesis that the sound of the
awakening trumpets--the trumpets which were arousing woman from her
long torpor--had not reached the place where this wistful woman
dwelt, with her tender remorses, her delicate aversions, her hunger
for the indefinite consolations of religion.</p>
<p>Moreover, she was beginning to understand that not all women
were maternal. She had, indeed, come across many incidents in her
work which emphasized this. Good mothers were quite as rare as good
fathers; and it was her growing belief that more than half of the
parents in the world were undeserving of the children born to them.
Also, she realized that a child might be born of the body and not
of the spirit, and a mother might minister well to a child's
corporeal part without once ministering to its soul. It was
possible that there never had been any bond save a physical one
between Mrs. Leger and her son. Perhaps they looked at each other
with strange, uncomprehending eyes. That, she could imagine, would
be a tantalization from which a sensitive woman might well wish to
escape. It was within the realm of possibility that he was happier
with his grandmother than with his mother. There might be
temperamental as well as physical "throwbacks."</p>
<p>Kate remembered a scene she once had witnessed at a railway
station. Two meagre, hard-faced, work-worn women were
superintending the removal of a pine-covered coffin from one train
to another, and as the grim box was wheeled the length of a long
platform, a little boy, wild-eyed, gold-haired, and set apart from
all the throng by a tragic misery, ran after the truck calling in
anguish:--</p>
<p>"Grandmother! Grandmother! Don't leave me! I'm so lonesome,
grandmother! I'm so afraid!"</p>
<p>"Stop your noise," commanded the woman who must have been his
mother. "Don't you know she can't hear you?"</p>
<p>"Oh, maybe she can! Maybe she can," sobbed the boy. "Oh,
grandmother, don't you hear me calling? There's nobody left for me
now."</p>
<p>The woman caught him sharply by the arm.</p>
<p>"I'm left, Jimmy. What makes you say such a thing as that? Stay
with mother, that's a good boy."</p>
<p>They were lifting the box into the baggage-car. The boy saw it.
He straightened himself in the manner of one who tries to endure a
mortal wound.</p>
<p>"She's gone," he said. He looked at his mother once, as if
measuring her value to him. Then he turned away. There was no
comfort for him there.</p>
<p>Often, since, Kate had wondered concerning the child. She had
imagined his grim home, his barren days; the plain food; the
compulsory task; the kind, yet heavy-handed, coarse-voiced mother.
She was convinced that the grandmother had been different. In the
corner where she had sat, there must have been warmth and welcome
for the child. Perhaps there were mellow old tales, sweet old
songs, soft strokings of the head, smuggled sweets--all the
beautiful grandmotherly delights.</p>
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