<h2><SPAN name="XXII"></SPAN>XXII</h2>
<p>Kate had him buried beside the wife for whom he had so
inconsistently longed. She sold the old house, selected a few
keepsakes from it, disposed of all else, and came, late in
November, back to the city. Marna's baby had been born--a little
bright boy, named for his father. Mrs. Barsaloux, relenting, had
sent a layette of French workmanship, and Marna was radiantly
happy.</p>
<p>"If only <i>tante</i> will come over for Christmas," Marna
lilted to Kate, "I shall be almost too happy to live. How good she
was to me, and how ungrateful I seemed to her! Write her to come,
Kate, mavourneen. Tell her the baby won't seem quite complete till
she's kissed it."</p>
<p>So Kate wrote Mrs. Barsaloux, adding her solicitation to
Marna's. Human love and sympathy were coming to seem to her of more
value than anything else in the world. To be loved--to be
companioned--to have the vast loneliness of life mitigated by
fealty and laughter and tenderness--what was there to take the
place of it?</p>
<p>Her heart swelled with a desire to lessen the pain of the world.
All her egotism, her self-assertion, her formless ambitions had got
up, or down, to that,--to comfort the comfortless, to keep evil
away from little children, to let those who were in any sort of a
prison go free. Yet she knew very well that all of this would lack
its perfect meaning unless there was some one to say to her--to her
and to none other: "I understand."</p>
<hr style="width: 25%;">
<p>Mrs. Barsaloux did not come to America at Christmas time. Karl
Wander did not--as he had thought he might--visit Chicago. The
holiday season seemed to bring little to Kate except a press of
duties. She aspired to go to bed Christmas night with the
conviction that not a child in her large territory had spent a
neglected Christmas. This meant a skilled coöperation with
other societies, with the benevolently inclined newspapers, and
with generous patrons. The correspondence involved was necessarily
large, and the amount of detail to be attended to more than she
should have undertaken, unaided, but she was spurred on by an
almost consuming passion of pity and sisterliness. That sensible
detachment which had marked her work at the outset had gradually
and perhaps regrettably disappeared. So far from having outgrown
emotional struggle, she seemed now, because of something that was
taking place in her inner life, to be increasingly susceptible to
it.</p>
<p>Her father's death had taken from her the last vestige of a
home. She had now no place which she could call her own, or to
which she would instinctively turn at Christmas time. To be sure,
there were many who bade her to their firesides, and some of these
invitations she accepted with gratitude and joy. But she could, of
course, only pause at the hearthstones of others. Her thoughts
winged on to other things--to the little poor homes where her
wistful children dwelt, to the great scheme for their care and
oversight which daily came nearer to realization.</p>
<p>A number of benevolent women--rich in purse and in a passion for
public service--desired her to lecture. She was to explain the
meaning of the Bureau of Children at the state federations of
women's clubs, in lyceum courses, and wherever receptive audiences
could be found. They advised, among other things, her attendance at
the biennial meeting of the General Federation of Women's Clubs
which was meeting that coming spring in Southern California.</p>
<p>The time had been not so far distant when she would have had
difficulty in seeing herself in the rôle of a public
lecturer, but now that she had something imperative to say, she did
not see herself in any "rôle" at all. She ceased to think
about herself save as the carrier of a message.</p>
<p>Her Christmas letter from Wander was at once a disappointment
and a shock.</p>
<hr style="width: 25%;">
<blockquote>"I've made a mess of things," he wrote, "and do not
intend to intrude on you until I have shown myself more worthy of
consideration. I try to tell myself that my present fiasco is not
my fault, but I've more than a suspicion that I'm playing the
coward's part when I think that. You can be disappointed in me if
you like. <i>I'm</i> outrageously disappointed. I thought I was
made of better stuff.<br/>
<br/>
"I don't know when I'll have time for writing again, for I shall be
very busy. I suppose I'll think about you more than is good for me.
But maybe not. Maybe the thoughts of you will be crowded out. I'm
rather curious to see. It would be better for me if they would, for
I've come to a bad turn in the road, and when I get around it,
maybe all of the old familiar scenes--the window out of which your
face looked, for example--will be lost to me. I send my good wishes
to you all the same. I shall do that as long as I have a brain and
a heart.<br/>
<br/>
"Faithfully,<br/>
<br/>
"WANDER."</blockquote>
<p>"That means trouble," reflected Kate, and had a wild desire to
rush to his aid.</p>
<hr style="width: 25%;">
<p>That she did not was owing partly--only partly--to another
letter which, bearing an English postmark, indicated that Ray
McCrea, who had been abroad for a month on business, was turning
his face toward home. What he had to say was this:--</p>
<blockquote>"DEAREST KATE:--<br/>
<br/>
"I'm sending you a warning. In a few days I'll be tossing on that
black sea of which I have, in the last few days, caught some
discouraging glimpses. It doesn't look as if it meant to let me see
the Statue of Liberty again, but as surely as I do, I'm going to go
into council with you.<br/>
<br/>
"I imagine you know mighty well what I'm going to say. For years
you've kept me at your call--or, rather, for years I have kept
myself there. You've discouraged me often, in a tolerant fashion,
as if you thought me too young to be dangerous, or yourself too
high up to be called to account. I've been patient, chiefly because
I found your society, as a mere recipient of my awkward attentions,
too satisfactory to be able to run the risk of foregoing it. But if
I were to sit in the outer court any longer I would be
pusillanimous. I'm coming home to force you to make up that strange
mind of yours, which seems to be forever occupying itself with the
thing far-off and to-be-hoped-for, rather than with what is near at
hand.<br/>
<br/>
"You'll have time to think it over. You can't say I've been
precipitate.<br/>
<br/>
"Yours--always,<br/>
<br/>
"RAY."</blockquote>
<p>At that she flashed a letter to Colorado.</p>
<p>"What is your cousin's trouble?" she asked Honora. "Is it at the
mines?"</p>
<p>"It's at the mines," Honora replied. "Karl's life has been and
is in danger. Friends have warned me of that again and again.
There's no holding these people--these several hundred Italians
that poor Karl insisted upon regarding as his wards, his 'adopted
children.' They're preparing to leave their half-paid-for homes and
their steady work, and to go threshing off across the country in
the wave of a hard-drinking, hysterical labor leader. He has them
inflamed to the explosive point. When they've done their worst,
Karl may be a poor man. Not that he worries about that; but he's
likely to carry down with him friends and business associates. Of
course this is not final. He may win out, but such a catastrophe
threatens him.</p>
<p>"But understand, all this is not what is tormenting him and
turning him gaunt and haggard. No, as usual, the last twist of the
knife is given by a woman. In this case it is an Italian girl,
Elena Cimiotti, the daughter of one of the strikers and of the
woman who does our washing for us. She's a beautiful, wild
creature, something as you might suppose the daughter of Jorio to
be. She has come for the washing and has brought it home again for
months past, and Karl, who is thoughtful of everybody, has assisted
her with her burden when she was lifting it from her burro's back
or packing it on the little beast. Sometimes he would fetch her a
glass of water, or give her a cup of tea, or put some fruit in her
saddle-bags. You know what a way he has with all women! I suppose
it would turn any foolish creature's head. And he has such an
impressive way of saying things! What would be a casual speech on
the tongue of another becomes significant, when he has given one of
his original twists to it. I think, too, that in utter disregard of
Italian etiquette he has sometimes walked on the street with this
girl for a few steps. He is like a child in some ways,--as trusting
and unconventional,--and he wants to be friends with everybody. I
can't tell whether it is because he is such an aristocrat that it
doesn't occur to him that any one can suspect him of losing caste,
or because he is such a democrat that he doesn't know it
exists.</p>
<p>"However that may be, the girl is in love with him. These
Italian girls are modest and well-behaved ordinarily, but when once
their imagination is aroused they are like flaming meteors. They
have no shame because they can't see why any one should be ashamed
of love (and, to tell the truth, I can't either). But this girl
believes Karl has encouraged her. I suppose she honestly believed
that he was sweethearting. He is astounded and dismayed. At first
both he and I thought she would get over it, but she has twice been
barely prevented from killing herself. Of course her countrymen
think her desperately ill-treated. She is the handsomest girl in
the settlement, and she has a number of ardent admirers. To the
hatred which they have come to bear Karl as members of a strike
directed against him, they now add the element of personal
jealousy.</p>
<p>"So you see what kind of a Christmas we are having! I have had
Mrs. Hays take the babies to Colorado Springs, and if anything
happens to us here, I'll trust to you to see to them. You, who mean
to look after little children, look after mine above all others,
for their mother gave you, long since, her loving friendship. I
would rather have you mother my babies, maiden though you are, than
any woman I know, for I feel a great force in you, Kate, and
believe you are going on until you get an answer to some of the
questions which the rest of us have found unanswerable.</p>
<p>"Karl wants me to leave, for there is danger that the ranch
house may be blown up almost any time. These men play with dynamite
as if it were wood, anyway, and they make fiery enemies. Every act
of ours is spied upon. Our servants have left us, and Karl and I,
obstinate as mules and as proud as sheiks, after the fashion of our
family, hold the fort. He wants me to go, but I tell him I am more
interested in life than I ever dared hope I would be again. I have
been bayoneted into a fighting mood, and I find it magnificent to
really feel alive again, after crawling in the dust so long, with
the taste of it in my mouth. So don't pity me. As for Karl--he
looks wild and strange, like the Flying Dutchman with his spectral
hand on the helm. But I don't know that I want you to pity him
either. He is a curious man, with a passionate soul, and if he
flares out like a torch in the wind, it will be fitting enough. No,
don't pity us. Congratulate us rather."</p>
<p>"Now what," said Kate aloud, "may that mean?"</p>
<p>"Congratulate us!"</p>
<p>The letter had a note of reckless gayety. Had Honora and Karl,
though cousins, been finding a shining compensation there in the
midst of many troubles? It sounded so, indeed. Elena Cimiotti might
swing down the mountain roads wearing mountain flowers in her hair
if she pleased, and Kate would not have thought her dangerous to
the peace of Karl Wander. If the wind were wild and the leaves
driving, he might have kissed her in some mad mood. So much might
be granted--and none, not even Elena, be the worse for it. But to
live side by side with Honora Fulham, to face danger with her, to
have the exhilaration of conflict, they two together, the mountains
above them, the treacherous foe below, a fortune lost or gained in
a day, all the elements of Colorado's gambling chances of life and
fortune at hand, might mean--anything.</p>
<p>Well, she would congratulate them! If Honora could forget a
shattered heart so soon, if Wander could take it on such easy
terms, they were entitled to congratulations of a sort. And if they
were killed some frantic night,--were blown to pieces with their
ruined home, and so reached together whatever lies beyond this
life,--why, then, they were to be congratulated, indeed! Or if they
evaded their enemies and swung their endangered craft into the
smooth stream of life, still congratulations were to be theirs.</p>
<p>She confessed to herself that she would rather be in that lonely
beleaguered house facing death with Karl Wander than be the
recipient of the greatest honor or the participant in the utmost
gayety that life could offer.</p>
<p>That the fact was fantastic made it none the less a fact.</p>
<hr style="width: 25%;">
<p>Should she write to Honora: "I congratulate you?"</p>
<p>Or should she wire Karl?</p>
<p>She got out his letters, and his words were as a fresh wind
blowing over her spirit. She realized afresh how this man, seen but
once, known only through the medium of infrequent letters, had
invigorated her. What had he not taught her of compassion, of "the
glory of the commonplace," of duty eagerly fulfilled, of the
abounding joy of life--even in life shadowed by care or sickness or
poverty?</p>
<p>No, she would write them nothing. They were her friends in
fullness of sympathy. They, like herself, were of those to whom
each day and night is a privilege, to whom sorrow is an enrichment,
delight an unfoldment, opposition a spur. They were of the company
of those who dared to speak the truth, who breathed deep, who
partook of the banquet of life without fear.</p>
<p>She had seen Honora in the worst hour of tribulation that can
come to a good woman, and she knew she had arisen from her
overthrow, stronger for the trial; now Karl was battling, and he
had cried out to her in his pain--his shame of defeat. But it would
not be his extinction. She was sure of that. They might, among
them, slay his body, but she could not read his letters, so full of
valiant contrasts, and doubt that his spirit must withstand all
adversaries.</p>
<p>No, sardonic with these two she could never be. Like that poor
Elena, she might have mistaken Wander's meanings. He was a man of
too elaborate gestures; something grandiose, inherently his, made
him enact the drama of life with too much fervor. It was easy,
Honora had insinuated, for a woman to mistake him!</p>
<p>Kate gripped her two strong hands together and clasped them
about her head in the first attitude of despair in which she ever
had indulged in her life. She was ashamed! Honora had said there
was nothing to be ashamed of in love. But Kate would not call this
meeting of her spirit with Karl's by that name. She had no idea
whether it was love or not. On the whole, she preferred to think
that it was not. But when they faced each other, their glances had
met. When they had parted, their thoughts had bridged the space.
When she dreamed, she fancied that she was mounting great solitary
peaks with him to look at sunsets that blazed like the end of the
world; or that he and she were strong-winged birds seeking the
crags of the Andes. What girl's folly! The time had come to put
such vagrant dreams from her and to become a woman, indeed.</p>
<p>Ray telephoned that he was home.</p>
<p>"Come up this evening, then," commanded Kate.</p>
<p>Then, not being as courageous as her word, she wept brokenly for
her mother--the mother who could, at best, have given her but such
indeterminate advice.</p>
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