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<h3> CHAPTER V </h3>
<p>The following day a host of accumulated duties and various preparations
for the first ceremonious visit of the groom-elect kept Yuki San's hands
and mind busy, and if sometimes a sob rose in her throat, or her eyes
strayed wistfully from her task, she resolutely refused to let herself
dwell upon the past.</p>
<p>The marriage, which had been dutifully accepted as a matter of course and
looked forward to as a financial relief to the entire family, had never
held any particular interest for her, but now even the preparations, which
had hitherto excited her interest and enthusiasm, found her listless and
indifferent.</p>
<p>She would be mistress over a great mansion and many servants, and her days
were to be spent in arranging for the physical comfort of Saito and the
entertainment of his friends.</p>
<p>The arrangement had seemed so simple, and so right, and she had been
gratified that a desirable husband had been found. But now she could
neither understand nor explain to herself her new and strange resistance.
She only knew that for the first time in her life there was rebellion
against the inevitable.</p>
<p>As she rested her tired body before beginning her toilet for the
afternoon, she remembered an American teacher at school who had been <i>in
love</i> with the man she was soon to marry. She remembered how she had
hidden behind the trees to see this young teacher run to the gate to meet
the postman, and her own failure to see why these letters should bring
such joy. She, with other girls, had spent a whole recess acting this
scene amid peals of laughter. Now it all came back to her with new
meaning, and it seemed neither strange nor amusing.</p>
<p>She leaned her head against the open <i>shoji</i> and looked out into the
garden, radiant and beautiful in the high noon of a perfect autumn day.</p>
<p>The working world paused in a brief sleep and the music of the garden was
hushed, while the insects sought the shadow of green leaves. Peace was
within and without, save in the girl's awakening heart.</p>
<p>"Ah, Sensei," she murmured through her trembling lips. "Then I make fun
for your letter of love. Forgive my impolite. Now I the understanding
have."</p>
<p>Yuki San chose her toilet for the coming visit with due regard for all
convention. There must be no touch of purple—that being the color
soonest to fade made it an evil omen. She selected an <i>obi</i> of rare
brocade, the betrothal gift of Saito, the great length of which expressed
the hope of an enduring marriage.</p>
<p>As she dressed, her mother flitted about her, chatting volubly and in such
high spirits that Yuki San's heart was warmed. The elaborate trousseau had
caused the little household many a sacrifice, but the joy in the hearts of
the old people more than justified them.</p>
<p>Presently the clatter of the jinrikisha in the courtyard announced the
arrival of the guest. Yuki San heard the long ceremonious greeting of her
father. She saw her mother hasten away to do her part and, left alone, she
sat with troubled eyes and drooping head.</p>
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<p>The strange feeling in her heart, one moment of joy and one of pain,
bewildered and frightened her. No thought of evading her duty crossed her
mind, but her whole being cried out for a beautiful something she had just
found, but which it was futile to hope for in her new life.</p>
<p>At the call of her mother, Yuki San silently pushed open the screen and
made her low and graceful greeting. Custom forbidding her to take part in
the conversation, she busied herself with serving the tea, listening while
Saito San recounted various incidents of the picturesque court-life, or
told of adventures in the recent war.</p>
<p>After all the prescribed topics had been discussed and the farewells had
been said, Yuki San retained a vague impression of a small, middle-aged
man, with many medals on his breast, who looked at her with kind,
unsmiling eyes.</p>
<p>It was not till after the simple evening meal that Yuki San found the
chance to slip away to the little upper room which had been Merrit's for
two months. Nothing there had been touched, for the old mother claimed
that to set a room in order too soon after a guest's departure was to
sweep out all luck with him.</p>
<p>The girl entered and stood, a ghostly image, in the soft and tender light
of the great autumn moon as it lay against the paper doors and filled the
tiny room. Through the half-light Yuki San saw many touches of the late
inmate's personality. A discarded tie hung limply from a hook on the wall,
a half-smoked cigar and a faded white rose lay side by side on the low
table.</p>
<p>From the garden the sad call of a night-bird, with its oft-repeated wail,
seemed to voice her loneliness, and with a sob she sank upon her knees
beside the cot. Long she lay in an abandonment of grief, beating futile
wings against the bars of fate. At last, throwing out her arms, she
touched a small object beneath the pillow. Drawing it toward her, she took
it to the open <i>shoji</i>, and by the bright moonlight she saw a small
morocco note-book. She puzzled over the strange figures on the first few
pages, but from the small pocket on the back cover she drew forth a
picture that neither confused nor surprised. It was the girl Merrit had
told her about—the girl to whom he was going so joyously.</p>
<p>It was a face full of the gladness of life and love, whose laughing eyes
looked straight into Yuki San's with such a challenge of friendship and
good will that the girl smiled back at the picture and laid it gently
against her warm cheek.</p>
<p>She sought out each detail of hair and dress as she held it for closer
inspection, then replacing it in the pocket she said softly:</p>
<p>"He have the big, big love for you. You give him the happy. I close my
heart about you."</p>
<p>On the back of the book in letters of gold she spelled out the strange
word, "Diary." She puzzled for a moment, then she remembered where she had
seen it before. The young American teacher had written in just such a
book, and when she asked its meaning, the teacher had said it was her best
friend, her confidant, to whom she told her secrets.</p>
<p>For a moment Yuki San stood with the book in her hand, then she said
impulsively:</p>
<p>"Diary! I make diary, too. I speak my thoughts to you. I tole you all my
secrets. Maybe my lonely heart will flew away."</p>
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