<hr /><p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_325" id="Page_325">[325]</SPAN></span></p>
<div class="bk5">The Man Who Could Work Miracles</div>
<hr /><p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_327" id="Page_327">[327]</SPAN></span></p>
<h2>THE MAN WHO COULD WORK MIRACLES<br/> <small>A PANTOUM IN PROSE</small></h2>
<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is doubtful whether the gift was innate.
For my own part, I think it came to him suddenly.
Indeed, until he was thirty he was a
sceptic, and did not believe in miraculous powers.
And here, since it is the most convenient
place, I must mention that he was a little man,
and had eyes of a hot brown, very erect red
hair, a moustache with ends that he twisted up,
and freckles. His name was George McWhirter
Fotheringay—not the sort of name by any
means to lead to any expectation of miracles—and
he was clerk at Gomshott's. He was greatly
addicted to assertive argument. It was while
he was asserting the impossibility of miracles
that he had his first intimation of his extraordinary
powers. This particular argument was
being held in the bar of the Long Dragon, and
Toddy Beamish was conducting the opposition
by a monotonous but effective "So <i>you</i> say,"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_328" id="Page_328">[328]</SPAN></span>
that drove Mr. Fotheringay to the very limit of
his patience.</p>
<p>There were present, besides these two, a very
dusty cyclist, landlord Cox, and Miss Maybridge,
the perfectly respectable and rather
portly barmaid of the Dragon. Miss Maybridge
was standing with her back to Mr. Fotheringay,
washing glasses; the others were watching
him, more or less amused by the present ineffectiveness
of the assertive method. Goaded
by the Torres Vedras tactics of Mr. Beamish,
Mr. Fotheringay determined to make an unusual
rhetorical effort. "Looky here, Mr. Beamish,"
said Mr. Fotheringay. "Let us clearly understand
what a miracle is. It's something contrariwise
to the course of nature done by power
of Will, something what couldn't happen without
being specially willed."</p>
<p>"So <i>you</i> say," said Mr. Beamish, repulsing
him.</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay appealed to the cyclist, who
had hitherto been a silent auditor, and received
his assent—given with a hesitating cough and
a glance at Mr. Beamish. The landlord would
express no opinion, and Mr. Fotheringay, returning
to Mr. Beamish, received the unexpected
concession of a qualified assent to his
definition of a miracle.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_329" id="Page_329">[329]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"For instance," said Mr. Fotheringay,
greatly encouraged. "Here would be a miracle.
That lamp, in the natural course of nature,
couldn't burn like that upsy-down, could it,
Beamish?"</p>
<p>"<i>You</i> say it couldn't," said Beamish.</p>
<p>"And you?" said Fotheringay. "You don't
mean to say—eh?"</p>
<p>"No," said Beamish reluctantly. "No, it
couldn't."</p>
<p>"Very well," said Mr. Fotheringay. "Then
here comes someone, as it might be me, along
here, and stands as it might be here, and says
to that lamp, as I might do, collecting all my
will—Turn upsy-down without breaking, and
go on burning steady, and—Hullo!"</p>
<p>It was enough to make anyone say "Hullo!"
The impossible, the incredible, was visible to
them all. The lamp hung inverted in the air,
burning quietly with its flame pointing down. It
was as solid, as indisputable as ever a lamp was,
the prosaic common lamp of the Long Dragon
bar.</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay stood with an extended
forefinger and the knitted brows of one anticipating
a catastrophic smash. The cyclist, who
was sitting next the lamp, ducked and jumped
across the bar. Everybody jumped, more or<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_330" id="Page_330">[330]</SPAN></span>
less. Miss Maybridge turned and screamed.
For nearly three seconds the lamp remained
still. A faint cry of mental distress came from
Mr. Fotheringay. "I can't keep it up," he said,
"any longer." He staggered back, and the inverted
lamp suddenly flared, fell against the
corner of the bar, bounced aside, smashed upon
the floor, and went out.</p>
<p>It was lucky it had a metal receiver, or the
whole place would have been in a blaze. Mr.
Cox was the first to speak, and his remark,
shorn of needless excrescences, was to the effect
that Fotheringay was a fool. Fotheringay was
beyond disputing even so fundamental a proposition
as that! He was astonished beyond measure
at the thing that had occurred. The subsequent
conversation threw absolutely no light on
the matter so far as Fotheringay was concerned;
the general opinion not only followed
Mr. Cox very closely but very vehemently.
Everyone accused Fotheringay of a silly trick,
and presented him to himself as a foolish destroyer
of comfort and security. His mind was
in a tornado of perplexity, he was himself inclined
to agree with them, and he made a remarkably
ineffectual opposition to the proposal
of his departure.</p>
<p>He went home flushed and heated, coat-collar<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_331" id="Page_331">[331]</SPAN></span>
crumpled, eyes smarting and ears red. He
watched each of the ten street lamps nervously
as he passed it. It was only when he found himself
alone in his little bed-room in Church Row
that he was able to grapple seriously with his
memories of the occurrence, and ask, "What on
earth happened?"</p>
<p>He had removed his coat and boots, and was
sitting on the bed with his hands in his pockets
repeating the text of his defence for the seventeenth
time, "<i>I</i> didn't want the confounded
thing to upset," when it occurred to him that at
the precise moment he had said the commanding
words he had inadvertently willed the
thing he said, and that when he had seen the
lamp in the air he had felt that it depended on
him to maintain it there without being clear
how this was to be done. He had not a particularly
complex mind, or he might have stuck for
a time at that "inadvertently willed," embracing,
as it does, the abstrusest problems of voluntary
action; but as it was, the idea came to
him with a quite acceptable haziness. And
from that, following, as I must admit, no clear
logical path, he came to the test of experiment.</p>
<p>He pointed resolutely to his candle and collected
his mind, though he felt he did a foolish
thing. "Be raised up," he said. But in a second<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_332" id="Page_332">[332]</SPAN></span>
that feeling vanished. The candle was raised,
hung in the air one giddy moment, and as Mr.
Fotheringay gasped, fell with a smash on his
toilet-table, leaving him in darkness save for the
expiring glow of its wick.</p>
<p>For a time Mr. Fotheringay sat in the darkness,
perfectly still. "It did happen, after all," he
said. "And 'ow <i>I'm</i> to explain it I <i>don't</i> know."
He sighed heavily, and began feeling in his
pockets for a match. He could find none, and
he rose and groped about the toilet-table. "I
wish I had a match," he said. He resorted to
his coat, and there was none there, and then it
dawned upon him that miracles were possible
even with matches. He extended a hand and
scowled at it in the dark. "Let there be a match
in that hand," he said. He felt some light object
fall across his palm, and his fingers closed
upon a match.</p>
<p>After several ineffectual attempts to light
this, he discovered it was a safety-match. He
threw it down, and then it occurred to him that
he might have willed it lit. He did, and perceived
it burning in the midst of his toilet-table
mat. He caught it up hastily, and it went out.
His perception of possibilities enlarged, and he
felt for and replaced the candle in its candlestick.
"Here! <i>you</i> be lit," said Mr. Fotheringay,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_333" id="Page_333">[333]</SPAN></span>
and forthwith the candle was flaring, and
he saw a little black hole in the toilet-cover,
with a wisp of smoke rising from it. For a time
he stared from this to the little flame and back,
and then looked up and met his own gaze in
the looking glass. By this help he communed
with himself in silence for a time.</p>
<p>"How about miracles now?" said Mr. Fotheringay
at last, addressing his reflection.</p>
<p>The subsequent meditations of Mr. Fotheringay
were of a severe but confused description.
So far, he could see it was a case of pure willing
with him. The nature of his experiences so far
disinclined him for any further experiments, at
least until he had reconsidered them. But he
lifted a sheet of paper, and turned a glass of
water pink and then green, and he created a
snail, which he miraculously annihilated, and
got himself a miraculous new tooth-brush.
Somewhen in the small hours he had reached
the fact that his will-power must be of a particularly
rare and pungent quality, a fact of
which he had certainly had inklings before, but
no certain assurance. The scare and perplexity
of his first discovery was now qualified by pride
in this evidence of singularity and by vague intimations
of advantage. He became aware that
the church clock was striking one, and as it did<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_334" id="Page_334">[334]</SPAN></span>
not occur to him that his daily duties at Gomshott's
might be miraculously dispensed with,
he resumed undressing, in order to get to bed
without further delay. As he struggled to get
his shirt over his head, he was struck with a
brilliant idea. "Let me be in bed," he said, and
found himself so. "Undressed," he stipulated;
and, finding the sheets cold, added hastily, "and
in my nightshirt—no, in a nice soft woollen
nightshirt. Ah!" he said with immense enjoyment.
"And now let me be comfortably
asleep...."</p>
<p>He awoke at his usual hour and was pensive
all through breakfast-time, wondering whether
his overnight experience might not be a particularly
vivid dream. At length his mind turned
again to cautious experiments. For instance, he
had three eggs for breakfast; two his landlady
had supplied, good, but shoppy, and one was a
delicious fresh goose-egg, laid, cooked, and
served by his extraordinary will. He hurried
off to Gomshott's in a state of profound but
carefully concealed excitement, and only remembered
the shell of the third egg when his
landlady spoke of it that night. All day he
could do no work because of this astonishingly
new self-knowledge, but this caused him no inconvenience,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_335" id="Page_335">[335]</SPAN></span>
because he made up for it miraculously
in his last ten minutes.</p>
<p>As the day wore on his state of mind passed
from wonder to elation, albeit the circumstances
of his dismissal from the Long Dragon
were still disagreeable to recall, and a garbled
account of the matter that had reached his colleagues
led to some badinage. It was evident
he must be careful how he lifted frangible articles,
but in other ways his gift promised more
and more as he turned it over in his mind. He
intended among other things to increase his
personal property by unostentatious acts of creation.
He called into existence a pair of very
splendid diamond studs, and hastily annihilated
them again as young Gomshott came across the
counting-house to his desk. He was afraid
young Gomshott might wonder how he had
come by them. He saw quite clearly the gift
required caution and watchfulness in its exercise,
but so far as he could judge the difficulties
attending its mastery would be no greater than
those he had already faced in the study of
cycling. It was that analogy, perhaps, quite as
much as the feeling that he would be unwelcome
in the Long Dragon, that drove him out
after supper into the lane beyond the gas-works,
to rehearse a few miracles in private.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_336" id="Page_336">[336]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>There was possibly a certain want of originality
in his attempts, for apart from his will-power
Mr. Fotheringay was not a very exceptional
man. The miracle of Moses' rod came to
his mind, but the night was dark and unfavourable
to the proper control of large miraculous
snakes. Then he recollected the story of "Tannhäuser"
that he had read on the back of the
Philharmonic programme. That seemed to him
singularly attractive and harmless. He stuck
his walking-stick—a very nice Poona-Penang
lawyer—into the turf that edged the footpath,
and commanded the dry wood to blossom. The
air was immediately full of the scent of roses,
and by means of a match he saw for himself
that this beautiful miracle was indeed accomplished.
His satisfaction was ended by advancing
footsteps. Afraid of a premature discovery
of his powers, he addressed the blossoming stick
hastily: "Go back." What he meant was
"Change back;" but of course he was confused.
The stick receded at a considerable velocity,
and incontinently came a cry of anger and a
bad word from the approaching person. "Who
are you throwing brambles at, you fool?" cried
a voice. "That got me on the shin."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, old chap," said Mr. Fotheringay,
and then realising the awkward nature of the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_337" id="Page_337">[337]</SPAN></span>
explanation, caught nervously at his moustache.
He saw Winch, one of the three Immering constables,
advancing.</p>
<p>"What d'yer mean by it?" asked the constable.
"Hullo! It's you, is it? The gent that broke
the lamp at the Long Dragon!"</p>
<p>"I don't mean anything by it," said Mr.
Fotheringay. "Nothing at all."</p>
<p>"What d'yer do it for then?"</p>
<p>"Oh, bother!" said Mr. Fotheringay.</p>
<p>"Bother indeed! D'yer know that stick hurt?
What d'yer do it for, eh?"</p>
<p>For the moment Mr. Fotheringay could not
think what he had done it for. His silence
seemed to irritate Mr. Winch. "You've been assaulting
the police, young man, this time.
That's what <i>you</i> done."</p>
<p>"Look here, Mr. Winch," said Mr. Fotheringay,
annoyed and confused, "I'm very sorry.
The fact is——"</p>
<p>"Well?"</p>
<p>He could think of no way but the truth. "I
was working a miracle." He tried to speak in
an off-hand way, but try as he would he
couldn't.</p>
<p>"Working a——! 'Ere, don't you talk rot.
Working a miracle, indeed! Miracle! Well,
that's downright funny! Why, you's the chap<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_338" id="Page_338">[338]</SPAN></span>
that don't believe in miracles.... Fact is,
this is another of your silly conjuring tricks—that's
what this is. Now, I tell you——"</p>
<p>But Mr. Fotheringay never heard what Mr.
Winch was going to tell him. He realised he
had given himself away, flung his valuable secret
to all the winds of heaven. A violent gust
of irritation swept him to action. He turned
on the constable swiftly and fiercely. "Here,"
he said, "I've had enough of this, I have! I'll
show you a silly conjuring trick, I will! Go to
Hades! Go, now!"</p>
<p>He was alone!</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay performed no more miracles
that night, nor did he trouble to see what
had become of his flowering stick. He returned
to the town, scared and very quiet, and
went to his bed-room. "Lord!" he said, "it's a
powerful gift—an extremely powerful gift. I
didn't hardly mean as much as that. Not
really.... I wonder what Hades is like!"</p>
<p>He sat on the bed taking off his boots.
Struck by a happy thought he transferred the
constable to San Francisco, and without any
more interference with normal causation went
soberly to bed. In the night he dreamt of the
anger of Winch.</p>
<p>The next day Mr. Fotheringay heard two<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_339" id="Page_339">[339]</SPAN></span>
interesting items of news. Someone had
planted a most beautiful climbing rose against
the elder Mr. Gomshott's private house in the
Lullaborough Road, and the river as far as
Rawling's Mill was to be dragged for Constable
Winch.</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay was abstracted and thoughtful
all that day, and performed no miracles
except certain provisions for Winch, and the
miracle of completing his day's work with
punctual perfection in spite of all the bee-swarm
of thoughts that hummed through his mind.
And the extraordinary abstraction and meekness
of his manner was remarked by several
people, and made a matter for jesting. For the
most part he was thinking of Winch.</p>
<p>On Sunday evening he went to chapel, and
oddly enough, Mr. Maydig, who took a certain
interest in occult matters, preached about
"things that are not lawful." Mr. Fotheringay
was not a regular chapel goer, but the system
of assertive scepticism, to which I have already
alluded, was now very much shaken. The
tenor of the sermon threw an entirely new light
on these novel gifts, and he suddenly decided
to consult Mr. Maydig immediately after the
service. So soon as that was determined, he<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_340" id="Page_340">[340]</SPAN></span>
found himself wondering why he had not done
so before.</p>
<p>Mr. Maydig, a lean, excitable man with quite
remarkably long wrists and neck, was gratified
at a request for a private conversation from a
young man whose carelessness in religious
matters was a subject for general remark in the
town. After a few necessary delays, he conducted
him to the study of the Manse, which
was contiguous to the chapel, seated him comfortably,
and, standing in front of a cheerful
fire—his legs threw a Rhodian arch of shadow
on the opposite wall—requested Mr. Fotheringay
to state his business.</p>
<p>At first Mr. Fotheringay was a little
abashed, and found some difficulty in opening
the matter. "You will scarcely believe me, Mr.
Maydig, I am afraid"—and so forth for some
time. He tried a question at last, and asked
Mr. Maydig his opinion of miracles.</p>
<p>Mr. Maydig was still saying "Well" in an
extremely judicial tone, when Mr. Fotheringay
interrupted again: "You don't believe, I suppose,
that some common sort of person—like
myself, for instance—as it might be sitting
here now, might have some sort of twist inside
him that made him able to do things by his
will."<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_341" id="Page_341">[341]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"It's possible," said Mr. Maydig. "Something
of the sort, perhaps, is possible."</p>
<p>"If I might make free with something here,
I think I might show you by a sort of experiment,"
said Mr. Fotheringay. "Now, take that
tobacco-jar on the table, for instance. What I
want to know is whether what I am going to do
with it is a miracle or not. Just half a minute,
Mr. Maydig, please."</p>
<p>He knitted his brows, pointed to the tobacco-jar
and said: "Be a bowl of vi'lets."</p>
<p>The tobacco-jar did as it was ordered.</p>
<p>Mr. Maydig started violently at the change,
and stood looking from the thaumaturgist to
the bowl of flowers. He said nothing. Presently
he ventured to lean over the table and
smell the violets; they were fresh-picked and
very fine ones. Then he stared at Mr. Fotheringay
again.</p>
<p>"How did you do that?" he asked.</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay pulled his moustache. "Just
told it—and there you are. Is that a miracle,
or is it black art, or what is it? And what do
you think's the matter with me? That's what I
want to ask."</p>
<p>"It's a most extraordinary occurrence."</p>
<p>"And this day last week I knew no more that
I could do things like that than you did. It<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_342" id="Page_342">[342]</SPAN></span>
came quite sudden. It's something odd about
my will, I suppose, and that's as far as I can
see."</p>
<p>"Is <i>that</i>—the only thing. Could you do
other things besides that?"</p>
<p>"Lord, yes!" said Mr. Fotheringay. "Just
anything." He thought, and suddenly recalled
a conjuring entertainment he had seen.
"Here!" He pointed. "Change into a bowl of
fish—no, not that—change into a glass bowl
full of water with goldfish swimming in it.
That's better! You see that, Mr. Maydig?"</p>
<p>"It's astonishing. It's incredible. You
are either a most extraordinary ... But no——"</p>
<p>"I could change it into anything," said Mr.
Fotheringay. "Just anything. Here! be a
pigeon, will you?"</p>
<p>In another moment a blue pigeon was fluttering
round the room and making Mr. Maydig
duck every time it came near him. "Stop
there, will you," said Mr. Fotheringay; and the
pigeon hung motionless in the air. "I could
change it back to a bowl of flowers," he said,
and after replacing the pigeon on the table
worked that miracle. "I expect you will want
your pipe in a bit," he said, and restored the tobacco-jar.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_343" id="Page_343">[343]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>Mr. Maydig had followed all these later
changes in a sort of ejaculatory silence. He
stared at Mr. Fotheringay and, in a very gingerly
manner, picked up the tobacco-jar, examined
it, replaced it on the table. "<i>Well!</i>" was
the only expression of his feelings.</p>
<p>"Now, after that it's easier to explain what
I came about," said Mr. Fotheringay; and proceeded
to a lengthy and involved narrative of
his strange experiences, beginning with the
affair of the lamp in the Long Dragon and complicated
by persistent allusions to Winch. As
he went on, the transient pride Mr. Maydig's
consternation had caused passed away; he became
the very ordinary Mr. Fotheringay of
everyday intercourse again. Mr. Maydig listened
intently, the tobacco-jar in his hand, and
his bearing changed also with the course of the
narrative. Presently, while Mr. Fotheringay
was dealing with the miracle of the third egg,
the minister interrupted with a fluttering extended
hand—</p>
<p>"It is possible," he said. "It is credible. It
is amazing, of course, but it reconciles a number
of amazing difficulties. The power to work
miracles is a gift—a peculiar quality like genius
or second sight—hitherto it has come very
rarely and to exceptional people. But in this<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_344" id="Page_344">[344]</SPAN></span>
case ... I have always wondered at the miracles
of Mahomet, and at Yogi's miracles, and
the miracles of Madame Blavatsky. But, of
course! Yes, it is simply a gift! It carries
out so beautifully the arguments of that great
thinker"—Mr. Maydig's voice sank—"his
Grace the Duke of Argyll. Here we plumb
some profounder law—deeper than the ordinary
laws of nature. Yes—yes. Go on. Go
on!"</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay proceeded to tell of his
misadventure with Winch, and Mr. Maydig, no
longer overawed or scared, began to jerk his
limbs about and interject astonishment. "It's
this what troubled me most," proceeded Mr.
Fotheringay; "it's this I'm most mijitly in
want of advice for; of course he's at San
Francisco—wherever San Francisco may be—but
of course it's awkward for both of us, as
you'll see, Mr. Maydig. I don't see how he
can understand what has happened, and I daresay
he's scared and exasperated something tremendous,
and trying to get at me. I daresay
he keeps on starting off to come here. I send
him back, by a miracle, every few hours,
when I think of it. And of course, that's a
thing he won't be able to understand, and it's
bound to annoy him; and, of course, if he takes<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_345" id="Page_345">[345]</SPAN></span>
a ticket every time it will cost him a lot of
money. I done the best I could for him, but of
course it's difficult for him to put himself in my
place. I thought afterwards that his clothes
might have got scorched, you know—if Hades
is all it's supposed to be—before I shifted him.
In that case I suppose they'd have locked him
up in San Francisco. Of course I willed him
a new suit of clothes on him directly I thought
of it. But, you see, I'm already in a deuce of a
tangle——"</p>
<p>Mr. Maydig looked serious. "I see you are
in a tangle. Yes, it's a difficult position. How
you are to end it ..." He became diffuse and
inconclusive.</p>
<p>"However, we'll leave Winch for a little and
discuss the larger question. I don't think this
is a case of the black art or anything of the sort.
I don't think there is any taint of criminality
about it at all, Mr. Fotheringay—none whatever,
unless you are suppressing material facts.
No, it's miracles—pure miracles—miracles, if
I may say so, of the very highest class."</p>
<p>He began to pace the hearthrug and gesticulate,
while Mr. Fotheringay sat with his arm on
the table and his head on his arm, looking worried.
"I don't see how I'm to manage about
Winch," he said.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_346" id="Page_346">[346]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"A gift of working miracles—apparently a
very powerful gift," said Mr. Maydig, "will
find a way about Winch—never fear. My dear
Sir, you are a most important man—a man of
the most astonishing possibilities. As evidence,
for example! And in other ways, the things
you may do...."</p>
<p>"Yes, <i>I've</i> thought of a thing or two," said
Mr. Fotheringay. "But—some of the things
came a bit twisty. You saw that fish at first?
Wrong sort of bowl and wrong sort of fish.
And I thought I'd ask someone."</p>
<p>"A proper course," said Mr. Maydig, "a very
proper course—altogether the proper course."
He stopped and looked at Mr. Fotheringay.
"It's practically an unlimited gift. Let us test
your powers, for instance. If they really <i>are</i> ...
If they really are all they seem to be."</p>
<p>And so, incredible as it may seem, in the
study of the little house behind the Congregational
Chapel, on the evening of Sunday, Nov.
10, 1896, Mr. Fotheringay, egged on and inspired
by Mr. Maydig, began to work miracles.
The reader's attention is specially and definitely
called to the date. He will object, probably
has already objected, that certain points in this
story are improbable, that if any things of the
sort already described had indeed occurred,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_347" id="Page_347">[347]</SPAN></span>
they would have been in all the papers a year
ago. The details immediately following he will
find particularly hard to accept, because among
other things they involve the conclusion that he
or she, the reader in question, must have been
killed in a violent and unprecedented manner
more than a year ago. Now a miracle is
nothing if not improbable, and as a matter of
fact the reader <i>was</i> killed in a violent and unprecedented
manner a year ago. In the subsequent
course of this story that will become perfectly
clear and credible, as every right-minded
and reasonable reader will admit. But this is not
the place for the end of the story, being but little
beyond the hither side of the middle. And
at first the miracles worked by Mr. Fotheringay
were timid little miracles—little things
with the cups and parlour fitments, as feeble as
the miracles of Theosophists, and, feeble as they
were, they were received with awe by his collaborator.
He would have preferred to settle
the Winch business out of hand, but Mr. Maydig
would not let him. But after they had
worked a dozen of these domestic trivialities,
their sense of power grew, their imagination began
to show signs of stimulation, and their ambition
enlarged. Their first larger enterprise
was due to hunger and the negligence of Mrs.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_348" id="Page_348">[348]</SPAN></span>
Minchin, Mr. Maydig's housekeeper. The
meal to which the minister conducted Mr. Fotheringay
was certainly ill-laid and uninviting as
refreshment for two industrious miracle-workers;
but they were seated, and Mr. Maydig was
descanting in sorrow rather than in anger upon
his housekeeper's shortcomings, before it occurred
to Mr. Fotheringay that an opportunity
lay before him. "Don't you think, Mr. Maydig,"
he said, "if it isn't a liberty, <i>I</i>——"</p>
<p>"My dear Mr. Fotheringay! Of course! No—I
didn't think."</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay waved his hand. "What
shall we have?" he said, in a large, inclusive
spirit, and, at Mr. Maydig's order, revised the
supper very thoroughly. "As for me," he said,
eyeing Mr. Maydig's selection, "I am always
particularly fond of a tankard of stout and a
nice Welsh rarebit, and I'll order that. I ain't
much given to Burgundy," and forthwith stout
and Welsh rarebit promptly appeared at his
command. They sat long at their supper, talking
like equals, as Mr. Fotheringay presently
perceived, with a glow of surprise and gratification,
of all the miracles they would presently
do. "And, by the bye, Mr. Maydig," said Mr.
Fotheringay, "I might perhaps be able to help
you—in a domestic way."<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_349" id="Page_349">[349]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"Don't quite follow," said Mr. Maydig
pouring out a glass of miraculous old Burgundy.</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay helped himself to a second
Welsh rarebit out of vacancy, and took a
mouthful. "I was thinking," he said, "I might
be able (<i>chum, chum</i>) to work (<i>chum, chum</i>) a
miracle with Mrs. Minchin (<i>chum, chum</i>)—make
her a better woman."</p>
<p>Mr. Maydig put down the glass and looked
doubtful. "She's—— She strongly objects
to interference, you know, Mr. Fotheringay.
And—as a matter of fact—it's well past eleven
and she's probably in bed and asleep. Do you
think, on the whole——"</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay considered these objections.
"I don't see that it shouldn't be done in her
sleep."</p>
<p>For a time Mr. Maydig opposed the idea, and
then he yielded. Mr. Fotheringay issued his
orders, and a little less at their ease, perhaps,
the two gentlemen proceeded with their repast.
Mr. Maydig was enlarging on the changes he
might expect in his housekeeper next day, with
an optimism that seemed even to Mr. Fotheringay's
supper senses a little forced and hectic,
when a series of confused noises from upstairs
began. Their eyes exchanged interrogations,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_350" id="Page_350">[350]</SPAN></span>
and Mr. Maydig left the room hastily. Mr.
Fotheringay heard him calling up to his housekeeper
and then his footsteps going softly up to
her.</p>
<p>In a minute or so the minister returned, his
step light, his face radiant. "Wonderful!" he
said, "and touching! Most touching!"</p>
<p>He began pacing the hearthrug. "A repentance—a
most touching repentance—through
the crack of the door. Poor woman!
A most wonderful change! She had got up.
She must have got up at once. She had got up
out of her sleep to smash a private bottle of
brandy in her box. And to confess it too!...
But this gives us—it opens—a most
amazing vista of possibilities. If we can work
this miraculous change in <i>her</i> ..."</p>
<p>"The thing's unlimited seemingly," said Mr.
Fotheringay. "And about Mr. Winch—"</p>
<p>"Altogether unlimited." And from the
hearthrug Mr. Maydig, waving the Winch difficulty
aside, unfolded a series of wonderful
proposals—proposals he invented as he went
along.</p>
<p>Now what those proposals were does not concern
the essentials of this story. Suffice it that
they were designed in a spirit of infinite benevolence,
the sort of benevolence that used to be<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_351" id="Page_351">[351]</SPAN></span>
called post-prandial. Suffice it, too, that the
problem of Winch remained unsolved. Nor is
it necessary to describe how far that series got
to its fulfilment. There were astonishing
changes. The small hours found Mr. Maydig
and Mr. Fotheringay careering across the chilly
market-square under the still moon, in a sort of
ecstasy of thaumaturgy, Mr. Maydig all flap
and gesture, Mr. Fotheringay short and bristling,
and no longer abashed at his greatness.
They had reformed every drunkard in the Parliamentary
division, changed all the beer and
alcohol to water (Mr. Maydig had overruled
Mr. Fotheringay on this point); they had, further,
greatly improved the railway communication
of the place, drained Flinder's swamp, improved
the soil of One Tree Hill, and cured the
Vicar's wart. And they were going to see what
could be done with the injured pier at South
Bridge. "The place," gasped Mr. Maydig,
"won't be the same place to-morrow. How surprised
and thankful everyone will be!" And
just at that moment the church clock struck
three.</p>
<p>"I say," said Mr. Fotheringay, "that's three
o'clock! I must be getting back. I've got to
be at business by eight. And besides, Mrs.
Wimms—"<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_352" id="Page_352">[352]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"We're only beginning," said Mr. Maydig,
full of the sweetness of unlimited power.
"We're only beginning. Think of all the good
we're doing. When people wake—"</p>
<p>"But—," said Mr. Fotheringay.</p>
<p>Mr. Maydig gripped his arm suddenly. His
eyes were bright and wild. "My dear chap,"
he said, "there's no hurry. Look"—he pointed
to the moon at the zenith—"Joshua!"</p>
<p>"Joshua?" said Mr. Fotheringay.</p>
<p>"Joshua," said Mr. Maydig. "Why not?
Stop it."</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay looked at the moon.</p>
<p>"That's a bit tall," he said after a pause.</p>
<p>"Why not?" said Mr. Maydig. "Of course
it doesn't stop. You stop the rotation of the
earth, you know. Time stops. It isn't as if
we were doing harm."</p>
<p>"H'm!" said Mr. Fotheringay. "Well." He
sighed. "I'll try. Here—"</p>
<p>He buttoned up his jacket and addressed
himself to the habitable globe, with as good an
assumption of confidence as lay in his power.
"Jest stop rotating, will you," said Mr. Fotheringay.</p>
<p>Incontinently he was flying head over heels
through the air at the rate of dozens of miles a
minute. In spite of the innumerable circles he<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_353" id="Page_353">[353]</SPAN></span>
was describing per second, he thought; for
thought is wonderful—sometimes as sluggish
as flowing pitch, sometimes as instantaneous as
light. He thought in a second, and willed.
"Let me come down safe and sound. Whatever
else happens, let me down safe and sound."</p>
<p>He willed it only just in time, for his
clothes, heated by his rapid flight through the
air, were already beginning to singe. He came
down with a forcible, but by no means injurious
bump in what appeared to be a mound of fresh-turned
earth. A large mass of metal and
masonry, extraordinarily like the clock-tower
in the middle of the market-square, hit the
earth near him, ricochetted over him, and flew
into stonework, bricks, and masonry, like a
bursting bomb. A hurtling cow hit one of the
larger blocks and smashed like an egg. There
was a crash that made all the most violent
crashes of his past life seem like the sound of
falling dust, and this was followed by a descending
series of lesser crashes. A vast wind
roared throughout earth and heaven, so that he
could scarcely lift his head to look. For a
while he was too breathless and astonished even
to see where he was or what had happened.
And his first movement was to feel his head<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_354" id="Page_354">[354]</SPAN></span>
and reassure himself that his streaming hair
was still his own.</p>
<p>"Lord!" gasped Mr. Fotheringay, scarce able
to speak for the gale, "I've had a squeak!
What's gone wrong? Storms and thunder.
And only a minute ago a fine night. It's Maydig
set me on to this sort of thing. <i>What</i> a
wind! If I go on fooling in this way I'm bound
to have a thundering accident!...</p>
<p>"Where's Maydig?</p>
<p>"What a confounded mess everything's in!"</p>
<p>He looked about him so far as his flapping
jacket would permit. The appearance of things
was really extremely strange. "The sky's all
right anyhow," said Mr. Fotheringay. "And
that's about all that is all right. And even there
it looks like a terrific gale coming up. But
there's the moon overhead. Just as it was just
now. Bright as midday. But as for the rest—Where's
the village? Where's—where's anything?
And what on earth set this wind a-blowing?
<i>I</i> didn't order no wind."</p>
<p>Mr. Fotheringay struggled to get to his feet
in vain, and after one failure, remained on all
fours, holding on. He surveyed the moonlit
world to leeward, with the tails of his jacket
streaming over his head. "There's something<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_355" id="Page_355">[355]</SPAN></span>
seriously wrong," said Mr. Fotheringay. "And
what it is—goodness knows."</p>
<p>Far and wide nothing was visible in the
white glare through the haze of dust that drove
before a screaming gale but tumbled masses of
earth and heaps of inchoate ruins, no trees, no
houses, no familiar shapes, only a wilderness of
disorder vanishing at last into the darkness beneath
the whirling columns and streamers, the
lightnings and thunderings of a swiftly rising
storm. Near him in the livid glare was something
that might once have been an elm-tree, a
smashed mass of splinters, shivered from
boughs to base, and further a twisted mass of
iron girders—only too evidently the viaduct—rose
out of the piled confusion.</p>
<p>You see, when Mr. Fotheringay had arrested
the rotation of the solid globe, he had made no
stipulation concerning the trifling movables
upon its surface. And the earth spins so fast
that the surface at its equator is travelling at
rather more than a thousand miles an hour, and
in these latitudes at more than half that pace.
So that the village, and Mr. Maydig, and Mr.
Fotheringay, and everybody and everything
had been jerked violently forward at about nine
miles per second—that is to say, much more
violently than if they had been fired out of a<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_356" id="Page_356">[356]</SPAN></span>
cannon. And every human being, every living
creature, every house, and every tree—all the
world as we know it—had been so jerked and
smashed and utterly destroyed. That was all.</p>
<p>These things Mr. Fotheringay did not, of
course, fully appreciate. But he perceived that
his miracle had miscarried, and with that a
great disgust of miracles came upon him. He
was in darkness now, for the clouds had swept
together and blotted out his momentary glimpse
of the moon, and the air was full of fitful struggling
tortured wraiths of hail. A great roaring
of wind and waters filled earth and sky, and,
peering under his hand through the dust and
sleet to windward, he saw by the play of the
lightnings a vast wall of water pouring towards
him.</p>
<p>"Maydig!" screamed Mr. Fotheringay's feeble
voice amid the elemental uproar. "Here!—Maydig!</p>
<p>"Stop!" cried Mr. Fotheringay to the advancing
water. "Oh, for goodness' sake, stop!</p>
<p>"Just a moment," said Mr. Fotheringay to
the lightnings and thunder. "Stop jest a moment
while I collect my thoughts....
And now what shall I do?" he said. "What
<i>shall</i> I do? Lord! I wish Maydig was about.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_357" id="Page_357">[357]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"I know," said Mr. Fotheringay. "And for
goodness' sake let's have it right <i>this</i> time."</p>
<p>He remained on all fours, leaning against
the wind, very intent to have everything right.</p>
<p>"Ah!" he said. "Let nothing what I'm going
to order happen until I say 'Off!'....
Lord! I wish I'd thought of that before!"</p>
<p>He lifted his little voice against the whirlwind,
shouting louder and louder in the vain
desire to hear himself speak. "Now then!—here
goes! Mind about that what I said just
now. In the first place, when all I've got to
say is done, let me lose my miraculous power,
let my will become just like anybody else's will,
and all these dangerous miracles be stopped. I
don't like them. I'd rather I didn't work 'em.
Ever so much. That's the first thing. And
the second is—let me be back just before the
miracles begin; let everything be just as it was
before that blessed lamp turned up. It's a big
job, but it's the last. Have you got it? No
more miracles, everything as it was—me back
in the Long Dragon just before I drank my
half-pint. That's it! Yes."</p>
<p>He dug his fingers into the mould, closed his
eyes, and said "Off!"</p>
<p>Everything became perfectly still. He perceived
that he was standing erect.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_358" id="Page_358">[358]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"So <i>you</i> say," said a voice.</p>
<p>He opened his eyes. He was in the bar of
the Long Dragon, arguing about miracles with
Toddy Beamish. He had a vague sense of some
great thing forgotten that instantaneously
passed. You see that, except for the loss of his
miraculous powers, everything was back as it
had been, his mind and memory therefore were
now just as they had been at the time when
this story began. So that he knew absolutely
nothing of all that is told here, knows nothing
of all that is told here to this day. And among
other things, of course, he still did not believe
in miracles.</p>
<p>"I tell you that miracles, properly speaking,
can't possibly happen," he said, "whatever you
like to hold. And I'm prepared to prove it up
to the hilt."</p>
<p>"That's what <i>you</i> think," said Toddy Beamish,
and "Prove it if you can."</p>
<p>"Looky here, Mr. Beamish," said Mr. Fotheringay.
"Let us clearly understand what a
miracle is. It's something contrariwise to the
course of nature done by power of Will...."</p>
<div class="bk7"><p class="center">THE END</p>
</div>
<div class="bk7"><p class="center"><small>Printed by <span class="smcap">Ballantyne, Hanson & Co.</span><br/>
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</div>
<hr />
<div class="ad1">When the</div>
<div class="ad2">Sleeper Wakes</div>
<div class="tb" style="width: 25em;"><p><big>A Story of the Days to Come. By
<span class="smcap">H. G. Wells</span>, Author of "The War of
the Worlds," &c.</big></p>
</div>
<p>"When the Sleeper Wakes," by far the longest story
Mr. Wells has yet given us, presents a spacious picture
of the development of our civilisation during the next two
hundred years. The sleeper is a typical liberal-minded
man of means of the nineteenth century, and he awakens
from a cataleptic trance in the year 2100, to discover that
by an ironic combination of circumstances he has become
the central figure of an enormous political convulsion. His
attempt to rise to the responsibilities of his position, his
struggle for power—inspired by an enthusiastic girl—with
the great political organiser Ostrog, give the great
structural lines of the story.</p>
<p><small>"He fell to sleep a fanatical democrat—a socialist: he woke a
tyrant; he died fighting with the people against the tyranny he had
unconsciously fashioned while he slept. Surely a theme of magnificent
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idea of 'The War of the Worlds.' The discovery of such material is
in itself no mean triumph."—<i>Bookman.</i></small></p>
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<p><small>"An enthralling effort of imagination, vivid and bizarre as a powerful
nightmare."—<i>The Guardian.</i></small></p>
<p><small>"This is undoubtedly a most remarkable book, a <i>tour de force</i> of
the intellect and imagination."—<i>The Queen.</i></small></p>
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