<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER 5. THE POET AND THE EDITOR </h2>
<p>It was not bad sport—being in London entirely on our own hook. We
asked the way to Fleet Street, where Father says all the newspaper offices
are. They said straight on down Ludgate Hill—but it turned out to be
quite another way. At least <i>we</i> didn't go straight on.</p>
<p>We got to St Paul's. Noel <i>would</i> go in, and we saw where Gordon was
buried—at least the monument. It is very flat, considering what a
man he was.</p>
<p>When we came out we walked a long way, and when we asked a policeman he
said we'd better go back through Smithfield. So we did. They don't burn
people any more there now, so it was rather dull, besides being a long
way, and Noel got very tired. He's a peaky little chap; it comes of being
a poet, I think. We had a bun or two at different shops—out of the
shillings—and it was quite late in the afternoon when we got to
Fleet Street. The gas was lighted and the electric lights. There is a
jolly Bovril sign that comes off and on in different coloured lamps. We
went to the Daily Recorder office, and asked to see the Editor. It is a
big office, very bright, with brass and mahogany and electric lights.</p>
<p>They told us the Editor wasn't there, but at another office. So we went
down a dirty street, to a very dull-looking place. There was a man there
inside, in a glass case, as if he was a museum, and he told us to write
down our names and our business. So Oswald wrote—</p>
<p>OSWALD BASTABLE<br/>
NOEL BASTABLE<br/>
BUSINESS VERY PRIVATE INDEED<br/></p>
<p>Then we waited on the stone stairs; it was very draughty. And the man in
the glass case looked at us as if we were the museum instead of him. We
waited a long time, and then a boy came down and said—</p>
<p>'The Editor can't see you. Will you please write your business?' And he
laughed. I wanted to punch his head.</p>
<p>But Noel said, 'Yes, I'll write it if you'll give me a pen and ink, and a
sheet of paper and an envelope.'</p>
<p>The boy said he'd better write by post. But Noel is a bit pig-headed; it's
his worst fault. So he said—'No, I'll write it <i>now</i>.' So I
backed him up by saying—</p>
<p>'Look at the price penny stamps are since the coal strike!'</p>
<p>So the boy grinned, and the man in the glass case gave us pen and paper,
and Noel wrote. Oswald writes better than he does; but Noel would do it;
and it took a very long time, and then it was inky.</p>
<p>DEAR MR EDITOR, I want you to print my poetry and pay for it,<br/>
and I am a friend of Mrs Leslie's; she is a poet too.<br/>
<br/>
Your affectionate friend,<br/>
<br/>
NOEL BASTABLE.<br/></p>
<p>He licked the envelope a good deal, so that that boy shouldn't read it
going upstairs; and he wrote 'Very private' outside, and gave the letter
to the boy. I thought it wasn't any good; but in a minute the grinning boy
came back, and he was quite respectful, and said—'The Editor says,
please will you step up?'</p>
<p>We stepped up. There were a lot of stairs and passages, and a queer sort
of humming, hammering sound and a very funny smell. The boy was now very
polite, and said it was the ink we smelt, and the noise was the printing
machines.</p>
<p>After going through a lot of cold passages we came to a door; the boy
opened it, and let us go in. There was a large room, with a big, soft,
blue-and-red carpet, and a roaring fire, though it was only October; and a
large table with drawers, and littered with papers, just like the one in
Father's study. A gentleman was sitting at one side of the table; he had a
light moustache and light eyes, and he looked very young to be an editor—not
nearly so old as Father. He looked very tired and sleepy, as if he had got
up very early in the morning; but he was kind, and we liked him. Oswald
thought he looked clever. Oswald is considered a judge of faces.</p>
<p>'Well,' said he, 'so you are Mrs Leslie's friends?'</p>
<p>'I think so,' said Noel; 'at least she gave us each a shilling, and she
wished us "good hunting!"'</p>
<p>'Good hunting, eh? Well, what about this poetry of yours? Which is the
poet?'</p>
<p>I can't think how he could have asked! Oswald is said to be a very
manly-looking boy for his age. However, I thought it would look duffing to
be offended, so I said—</p>
<p>'This is my brother Noel. He is the poet.' Noel had turned quite pale. He
is disgustingly like a girl in some ways. The Editor told us to sit down,
and he took the poems from Noel, and began to read them. Noel got paler
and paler; I really thought he was going to faint, like he did when I held
his hand under the cold-water tap, after I had accidentally cut him with
my chisel. When the Editor had read the first poem—it was the one
about the beetle—he got up and stood with his back to us. It was not
manners; but Noel thinks he did it 'to conceal his emotion,' as they do in
books. He read all the poems, and then he said—</p>
<p>'I like your poetry very much, young man. I'll give you—let me see;
how much shall I give you for it?'</p>
<p>'As much as ever you can,' said Noel. 'You see I want a good deal of money
to restore the fallen fortunes of the house of Bastable.'</p>
<p>The gentleman put on some eye-glasses and looked hard at us. Then he sat
down.</p>
<p>'That's a good idea,' said he. 'Tell me how you came to think of it. And,
I say, have you had any tea? They've just sent out for mine.'</p>
<p>He rang a tingly bell, and the boy brought in a tray with a teapot and a
thick cup and saucer and things, and he had to fetch another tray for us,
when he was told to; and we had tea with the Editor of the Daily Recorder.
I suppose it was a very proud moment for Noel, though I did not think of
that till afterwards. The Editor asked us a lot of questions, and we told
him a good deal, though of course I did not tell a stranger all our
reasons for thinking that the family fortunes wanted restoring. We stayed
about half an hour, and when we were going away he said again—</p>
<p>'I shall print all your poems, my poet; and now what do you think they're
worth?'</p>
<p>'I don't know,' Noel said. 'You see I didn't write them to sell.'</p>
<p>'Why did you write them then?' he asked.</p>
<p>Noel said he didn't know; he supposed because he wanted to.</p>
<p>'Art for Art's sake, eh?' said the Editor, and he seemed quite delighted,
as though Noel had said something clever.</p>
<p>'Well, would a guinea meet your views?' he asked.</p>
<p>I have read of people being at a loss for words, and dumb with emotion,
and I've read of people being turned to stone with astonishment, or joy,
or something, but I never knew how silly it looked till I saw Noel
standing staring at the Editor with his mouth open. He went red and he
went white, and then he got crimson, as if you were rubbing more and more
crimson lake on a palette. But he didn't say a word, so Oswald had to say—</p>
<p>'I should jolly well think so.'</p>
<p>So the Editor gave Noel a sovereign and a shilling, and he shook hands
with us both, but he thumped Noel on the back and said—</p>
<p>'Buck up, old man! It's your first guinea, but it won't be your last. Now
go along home, and in about ten years you can bring me some more poetry.
Not before—see? I'm just taking this poetry of yours because I like
it very much; but we don't put poetry in this paper at all. I shall have
to put it in another paper I know of.'</p>
<p>'What <i>do</i> you put in your paper?' I asked, for Father always takes
the Daily Chronicle, and I didn't know what the Recorder was like. We
chose it because it has such a glorious office, and a clock outside
lighted up.</p>
<p>'Oh, news,' said he, 'and dull articles, and things about Celebrities. If
you know any Celebrities, now?'</p>
<p>Noel asked him what Celebrities were.</p>
<p>'Oh, the Queen and the Princes, and people with titles, and people who
write, or sing, or act—or do something clever or wicked.'</p>
<p>'I don't know anybody wicked,' said Oswald, wishing he had known Dick
Turpin, or Claude Duval, so as to be able to tell the Editor things about
them. 'But I know some one with a title—Lord Tottenham.'</p>
<p>'The mad old Protectionist, eh? How did you come to know him?'</p>
<p>'We don't know him to speak to. But he goes over the Heath every day at
three, and he strides along like a giant—with a black cloak like
Lord Tennyson's flying behind him, and he talks to himself like one
o'clock.'</p>
<p>'What does he say?' The Editor had sat down again, and he was fiddling
with a blue pencil.</p>
<p>'We only heard him once, close enough to understand, and then he said,
"The curse of the country, sir—ruin and desolation!" And then he
went striding along again, hitting at the furze-bushes as if they were the
heads of his enemies.'</p>
<p>'Excellent descriptive touch,' said the Editor. 'Well, go on.'</p>
<p>'That's all I know about him, except that he stops in the middle of the
Heath every day, and he looks all round to see if there's any one about,
and if there isn't, he takes his collar off.'</p>
<p>The Editor interrupted—which is considered rude—and said—</p>
<p>'You're not romancing?'</p>
<p>'I beg your pardon?' said Oswald. 'Drawing the long bow, I mean,' said the
Editor.</p>
<p>Oswald drew himself up, and said he wasn't a liar.</p>
<p>The Editor only laughed, and said romancing and lying were not at all the
same; only it was important to know what you were playing at. So Oswald
accepted his apology, and went on.</p>
<p>'We were hiding among the furze-bushes one day, and we saw him do it. He
took off his collar, and he put on a clean one, and he threw the other
among the furze-bushes. We picked it up afterwards, and it was a beastly
paper one!'</p>
<p>'Thank you,' said the Editor, and he got up and put his hand in his
pocket. 'That's well worth five shillings, and there they are. Would you
like to see round the printing offices before you go home?'</p>
<p>I pocketed my five bob, and thanked him, and I said we should like it very
much. He called another gentleman and said something we couldn't hear.
Then he said good-bye again; and all this time Noel hadn't said a word.
But now he said, 'I've made a poem about you. It is called "Lines to a
Noble Editor." Shall I write it down?'</p>
<p>The Editor gave him the blue pencil, and he sat down at the Editor's table
and wrote. It was this, he told me afterwards as well as he could remember—</p>
<p>May Life's choicest blessings be your lot<br/>
I think you ought to be very blest<br/>
For you are going to print my poems—<br/>
And you may have this one as well as the rest.<br/></p>
<p>'Thank you,' said the Editor. 'I don't think I ever had a poem addressed
to me before. I shall treasure it, I assure you.'</p>
<p>Then the other gentleman said something about Maecenas, and we went off to
see the printing office with at least one pound seven in our pockets.</p>
<p>It <i>was</i> good hunting, and no mistake!</p>
<p>But he never put Noel's poetry in the Daily Recorder. It was quite a long
time afterwards we saw a sort of story thing in a magazine, on the station
bookstall, and that kind, sleepy-looking Editor had written it, I suppose.
It was not at all amusing. It said a lot about Noel and me, describing us
all wrong, and saying how we had tea with the Editor; and all Noel's poems
were in the story thing. I think myself the Editor seemed to make game of
them, but Noel was quite pleased to see them printed—so that's all
right. It wasn't my poetry anyhow, I am glad to say.</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />